Reach for the masses...

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Back in May of this year, Elysha and I launched Speak Up Storytelling, a podcast about telling your best stories. Each week we teach strategies for finding, crafting, and telling stories. We also play a story previously told at a Speak Up event and use that story to teach lessons about what the storyteller has done well and what might be improved for next time.

Our goal was to produce at least 25 episodes in 2018. This week we published #24 and will be recording #25.

But in addition to sending 24 podcast episodes into the world and garnering thousands of listeners, amazing connections have been made.

Just this week, we have heard from:

  • A man in Africa who using is storytelling (including my book Storyworthy and our podcast) to “forge community connection between whites (westerners) and blacks (locals).”

  • A woman in Brisbane, Australia who’s read my book and listens to the podcast with friends who has been inspired to launch her own storytelling show in January.

  • A teacher in Chicago who is using my book and our podcast as part of her spring curriculum.

  • Two different podcast listeners in the Seattle area who have each shared some remarkable ideas and bits of art with me.

  • Just this morning a listener in Maine who hit her 100 days using my Homework for Life strategy.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep on saying it:

Find a way to put your voice out into the world. Find a way to take your passion and turn it into something that reaches beyond the cozy confines of your home. Whether it’s a podcast or a blog or YouTube or Instagram, find a way to bring your expertise and your joy to the masses.

The potential returns are immeasurable.

We’re so fortunate to live in a time when each one of us can be writers and broadcasters with the potential for reaching millions of people. Less than two decades ago, gatekeepers kept the vast majority of human beings silenced. Reaching a large audience required enormous sums of money, technical expertise, years spent climbing the ladder and paying your dues, and access to networks controlled by a small number of businesspeople.

Almost exclusively white men.

Today you can reach the world with an Internet connection and a phone. A laptop and a microphone.

We forget how lucky we are.

Elysha and I are not special. We are not uniquely talented or especially well equipped for podcasting. Our operation is not a sophisticated one:

Once a week, we sit at the dining room table with about $200 worth of audio equipment and a laptop and try to record a podcast as phones ring, children who are supposed to be in bed interrupt us, and cats knock over microphones.

And our audience isn’t very large yet. We are finding listeners slowly, primarily in the United States but also in 49 other countries worldwide.

But relatively speaking, the audience is small but growing.

But when you receive an email from someone on the other side of the world explaining how your words are changing their life and the lives of others for the better, it doesn’t matter how many people are listening.

Just those few would be enough.

So find a way to put yourself into the world. Take the thing that you do well and find a way to share it with others.

A photo of your garden.
A blog post about the lesson plan that went especially well.
A YouTube video on the booties that you’re knitting.
A podcast of your cringe-worthy high school poetry.
A Twitter account specializing in your accounting best practices.

You have something to share. Find a way to share it. You never know what might happen.

Trump can't speak articulately., and it should scare the hell out of us.

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The Wall Street Journal, a conservative financial newspaper, recently interviewed Donald Trump about his decisions related to the economy.

Trump was asked about the possibility that the tariffs he has imposed on a variety of products might have a harmful effect on the economy in the longterm.

Keep in mind that since becoming President, Trump has imposed tariffs on steel, aluminum, solar panels, washing machines, and more than $200 billion in Chinese imports.

Trump’s answer to the tariff question is astounding on two levels.

First, he simply lies about the tariffs. This should be no surprise given his record with the truth, but this lie is particularly atrocious because Trump claimed that they do not exist at all. Considering how often he brags about these tariffs, his willingness to pretend they do not exist, especially to a publication like the Wall Street Journal, is unthinkable.

But even more astounding than his lies is his inability to answer articulately. His sentences simply make no sense. It’s a jumble of words, phrases and clauses that confuse and contradict.

The man can’t speak in standard English.

Below is a portion of the transcript published by the Wall Street Journal related to tariffs.

My recommendation:

Read the following aloud. More importantly, vote on November 6.

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WSJ: A lot of people say that tariffs are really the biggest threat to the economy long term.

Mr. Trump: We don’t have any tariffs.

WSJ: But you’re saying it’s the Fed.

Mr. Trump: It’s so much nonsense, OK. This is your story. We don’t even have tariffs. I’m using tariffs to negotiate. I mean, other than some tariffs on steel—which is actually small, what do we have? I didn’t put them on the USMCA. We have a trade deal. I didn’t put them on in South Korea. We have a trade deal. That was the worst deal. That was a deal made by Hillary Clinton. It was a horrible deal. We made it into a sound deal.

But I didn’t put tariffs. Where do we have tariffs? We don’t have tariffs anywhere. I read that today: We’re worried about the tariffs. You know what happens? A business that’s doing badly always likes to blame Trump and the tariffs because it’s a good excuse for some incompetent guy that’s making $25 million a year.

WSJ: Just to go back to the Fed for a second—

Mr. Trump: But think of it, Michael. We don’t have tariffs. Where do we have tariffs? I’m talking tariffs. I’ll use tariffs. I mean it. I’ve said I was going to put tariffs on European Union cars, right? They came to my office. We made the concept of a deal. We’ll see what happens. But they agreed to a deal that they wouldn’t even talk about. There’s no tariffs.

Speak Up Storytelling #23: Laura Terranova

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On episode #23 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast, Elysha Dicks and I talk storytelling!

In our followup segment, we discuss a brand new rule for The Moth's StorySLAM series. We also talk about why storytelling is a superpower and the many doors that being an effective communicator can open for you. 

Next, we talk about finding and collecting stories in your everyday life using "Homework for Life." We discuss the possibility of incorporating Homework for Life into a daily to-do list, discuss Homework for Life advice from a listener, learn how a child is now doing Homework for Life, and review how a moment that didn't seem like much initially might be storyworthy after all. 

Then we listen to Laura Terranova's story about finding herself in a hospital bed, unable to communicate to the outside world.

After listening, we discuss:

  1. Elements of an effective beginning

  2. Outstanding transition strategies

  3. Character building throughout a story

  4. Elements of an effective ending 

  5. The power of a name in storytelling

Next, we answer questions about the dangers of dominating conversations when you have many stories to tell and how to handle the moment when you thought you were funny but the audience did not. 

Finally, we each offer a recommendation. 

If you haven't rated or reviewed Speak Up Storytelling on Apple Podcasts, PLEASE do! Reviews and ratings help others find our show.

Terrorists are cowards. Let them know it.

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In the past 72 hours:

A man attempted to enter a predominately black church in Kentucky with a gun. When unable to gain access to the building, he went to a Kroger grocery store and killed two American Americans shoppers instead.

A man attempted to kill President Obama, Secretary Clinton, Vice President Biden, several other high ranking members of the Democrat party and a handful of their supporters with pipe bombs sent through the US postal service.

A man entered a synagogue in Pittsburgh and killed 11 people and wounded many others, including law enforcement officers.

The suffering of the victims of these crimes and their loved ones is unspeakable. The damage done to families and communities is immeasurable.

There will be many debates in the coming weeks over the causes of this outburst of violence.

Americans will argue over the hateful rhetoric of a President who just three days ago, in the midst of the pipe bomb scare, praised Republican Republican Greg Gianforte of Montana for physically assaulting a reporter in 2017.

Americans will debate the efficacy of our gun laws.

Americans will rightfully question why the vast majority of these mass killings are perpetrated by white, middle aged men.

There will be much debate, discord, and disagreement. Answers will be hard to come by, and when found, even harder to implement.

But as Americans, I think we can all agree on one thing:

Each of these men were cowards of the highest order. All terrorists, in fact, are cowards. Their stock and trade is the murder of unarmed, innocent people. Their goal is to kill men, women, and children who cannot shoot back or otherwise defend themselves.

Cowards. Ever single one of them. Not a single one of them understands courage.

Serving as a police officer, fire fighter, and first responder requires courage.

Running for political office requires courage.

Living openly as a transsexual person today requires courage.

Standing on a stage and telling a story requires courage.

Serving in our armed forces requires courage.

Caring for an ailing parent requires courage.

Asking someone to marry you requires courage.

Battling cancer requires courage.

Fostering a child requires courage.

Serving as a member of the media - particularly in today’s political climate - requires courage.

Standing up to a bully requires courage.

Sending your child off to kindergarten for the first time requires courage.

Killing unarmed parishioners in places of worship requires nothing more than a coward and his gun.

Mailing bombs to prominent politicians and their supports requires little more than a coward, some gun powder, and a stamp.

As we debate causes and solutions for this senseless violence, let’s also make sure that we let these terrorists and all future terrorists know how history will remember them:

As the greatest cowards of our time. Worthless human beings without an ounce of courage in their bones. Frightened little men who will be reviled by humanity until the end of time.

Cowards. Every single one of them. This is one thing to which every American can agree.

Let’s make sure these cowards and all future cowards know it.

Charlie lost his first tooth. Also, a lot more happened.

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Big day for my little boy.

After countless days of wiggling and pulling, Charlie finally lost his first tooth. He was brushing his teeth when, according to him, he felt something. “I stopped brushing, reached into my mouth, and it was my tooth!”

Damn was he excited. I was in the shower at the time, so he came running, crashed into the glass shower door, and said, “Dad! It happened!”

It’s a moment I will never forget.

Earlier that night, he stepped into his bedroom after our cleaning lady had tidied up and said, “Dad, my room looks spectacular.”

Even earlier that night, he stood before a 12-foot, inflatable, animatronic pumpkin headed monster on the front lawn of his Hebrew School and could not stop laughing, gasping, pointing, and uttering, “Oh my God.”

When saying goodbye to his friend, Helen, after an afternoon playdate, he hugged her and she hugged him, so instantly and easily and sweetly, that it made my heart melt.

While we were lying in his bed, lights out and blue stars projected on the ceiling, listening to Neko Case’s “I Wish I Were the Moon,” he whispered in response to a line in the song, “I hope she’s not so tired anymore.”

Lastly, as he placed his tooth under his pillow, he said to me, “I know you have to work at the hospital tomorrow, but don’t leave until you see what the tooth fairy gave me. I want you to know, too.”

So I sit here at the table, thinking about all that made yesterday so beautiful, recording these moments both here and in my Homework for Life so they will remain with me forever, waiting for that little boy to come racing down the stairs with a golden dollar and a note from Tooth Fairy congratulating him on his first lost tooth.

I hold onto these moments more than anything else in the world, because they are more valuable than anything else in the world. They are my treasure.

Piñatas suck.

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I’m going on the record saying that piñatas suck.

Watching children at a recently birthday party bash this candy-filled monstrosity to pieces, it occurred to me how awful these things really are.

A few truths about piñatas:

  1. Two or three kids at best get to whack the thing before it breaks open, leaving the other dozen or so children standing around, never getting a chance to swing the bat and smack the damn thing even once.

  2. Allowing children to swing baseball bats, clubs, broom handles and the like in the vicinity of other children is a tragic accident waiting just waiting to happen. Go to YouTube and type in “piñata accident” and you’ll see hundreds of kids getting smashed in the head by wayward bats and poorly aimed sticks.

  3. The more horrible the child, the more candy he or she will acquire. The piñatas punishes the patient and polite child. It discourages civility and honor. There is no room for decency and decorum once the candy has fallen from the piñatas. The most aggressive, most rude, most selfish, most physically intimidating children always scoop up the bulk of the candy, leaving the more gentle souls to gather the discarded Werther’s Original or perhaps a bit of stomped-upon peppermint candy.

Want to know if you’re raising a monster? Inventory your child’s candy after a piñatas. If he or she has a large percentage of the candy, you’re child is probably a jackass and quite possibly a future felon.

There are also always crying after the piñatas is finished. Some cry because they didn’t have a turn at bat, and others cry because they see some future inmate with nine pounds of candy compared to their measly four pieces.

Why bring something to a party that is guaranteed to make children cry?

As a parent, I also feel stress during the piñatas. I worry. Will my child have a chance with the bat? Will he or she collect enough candy to be happy while not running over and shoving aside the smaller children in order to make that happen? Will my child be disappointed after this nasty affair is complete? Will it put a damper on the day? Will my child see herself as weak, vulnerable, or ineffective when this bloodsport is finally finished?

Piñatas suck. They must go the way of lawn jarts and croquet. They are a horrible, nasty bit of business that have no place at moments of festivity and joy.

Perhaps the stupidest thing that America does

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Of all the stupid things that our country does, Election Day might be one of the stupidest.

There is absolutely no reason why Election Day is not a national holiday or held over the weekend. Almost every other democracy on the planet holds their elections on a holiday or weekend, and almost every American who wants their fellow citizens to be able to vote agrees.

Tuesday was established as Election Day in the United States 1845 because it did not interfere with the Biblical Sabbath or with market day, which was on Wednesday in many towns. This was also a time in America when many voters needed to travel a full day by horse and buggy to the county seat to cast their vote.

We vote on a Tuesday because of conditions that no longer apply in this country. Nothing in the Constitution is preventing us from changing the day that we vote, yet the stupidity of Election Day persists.

The only reason to keep Election Day on a Tuesday is to suppress the vote. Make it more difficult for people who already have difficulty getting to the polls.

Primarily young, poor, working class Americans.

Brian Kemp, Georgia Secretary of State and the Republican nominee for Georgia governor, for example, was recently caught saying that his Democratic opponent Stacey Abrams’ voter turnout operation “continues to concern us, especially if everybody uses and exercises their right to vote,” according to audio obtained by Rolling Stone.

The Secretary of the State in Georgia is concerned about everyone in his state exercising their right to vote. This is about as unpatriotic as you can get. It probably also explains why Kemp has spent the last month purging the vote rolls in his state of anyone who is unlikely to vote for him.

Primarily African Americans.

Yesterday a federal judge put a stop to him, but tens of thousands of voters have already been purged from the rolls.

Just imagine what our country might look like if the Brian Kemps of the world were not suppressing the vote and every American used and exercised their right to vote.

The thought makes the likes of Brian Kemp and the Republican party shudder in fear.

Moving Election Day to the weekend or making it a national holiday would almost assuredly helps millions of Americans to vote.

In 2014, for example, 35 percent of registered voters who did not vote indicated that aid they couldn’t vote because of work or school obligations.

On November 6, only 44 percent of U.S. firms will give workers paid time off to vote on Election Day.

Election Day on a Tuesday in November is stupid. It’s also guaranteed to suppress voter turnout and assist Republicans in maintaining majority control in Congress despite the fact that they represent a minority of Americans in both the Senate and House.

Even the President was elected by a minority of Americans.

Majority control at the hands of the minority. Election Day on a Tuesday assists in perpetuating this reality.

There are a lot of stupid things in America.

The Electoral College is dumb.

The fact that marijuana and heroin are categorized equally under US law is ridiculous beyond compare.

Why the Monday after the Super Bowl isn’t a national holiday baffles me.

But Election Day on a Tuesday? Perhaps the stupidest thing of all.

How dare you?

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I’ve recently heard a lot of people spouting, “How dare you?”

Trump (and others) said it regarding the FBI investigation into Brett Kavanaugh.

Many used this phrase to express outrage at Nike’s hugely successful and highly popular use of Colin Kaepernick in their recently ad campaign.

A CNN anchor said it to a Republican operative who called Democratic protesters “a mob.”

It’s so annoying. So condescending and stupid. Such a ridiculous combination of three words.

Just for the record, there is a correct response to the stupidity of “How dare you?”

“How dare you?” is a rhetorical question. Whenever someone uses a rhetorical question during verbal combat, the correct response is almost always to answer that question with as much specificity and as many syllables as possible.

For example, when someone says, “Guess what?” (a bit of verbal detritus that I despise above all others), just start guessing. The more ridiculous the better. Fire off humor and nonsense at their indignation and outrage. Break up their momentum and rhythm by offering answers to the stupidity of their rhetorical question with your own random, amusing stupidity.

For example:

“Guess what? I don’t know. You’re not wearing underwear? You’re constipated? You having sex with dead people on the weekend? You secretly enjoy the Twilight series?”

Similarly, when someone says, “You know what your problem is?” just start listing your problems.

“I can’t cook!”
”I have an unreasonable fear of needles!”
”I become angry and petulant when told what to wear!”
”Bees kill me dead!”
”I eat ice cream too quickly!”

Again, the more words and the more ridiculous, the better. Make them suffer for being stupid enough to use a rhetorical question during an argument by being just as stupid.

And when someone like Orin Hatch, who described Dr. Ford as an “attractive, good witness” and “pleasing,” shouts “How dare you?” in your general direction, the correct response is to illustrate that your words required no daring at all.

Something like:

“How dare I? Actually, Senator, the truth requires no daring at all. How dare I? Sir, if you think it’s daring to stand up for what you believe in, you don’t have a daring bone in your body. How dare I? I’m not daring. I’m morally outraged. I’m astounded by your stupidity. I’m appalled by your hypocrisy. I’m disgusted by your misogyny. But daring? No, sir. My words required no daring at all, because you are little more than the mealy-mouthed puppet an amoral administration.”

That’s how you answer the likes of Orin Hatch when he shouts, “How dare you!” in your direction.

I’ve only been able to respond to “How dare you?” three times in my life that I can remember.

Once to an angry, possibly racist restaurant customer.

Once to an enraged colleague.

Once in a statewide debate championship that I would ultimately win.

All three times were so damn fun (the debate was the most fun).

But when I’m arguing and someone is foolish enough to ask any rhetorical question, I answer their question every time. I fill the space after their stupid question with words and silliness and humor.

It makes people crazy. They become infuriated. Crazy, infuriated people are easily defeated in verbal combat.

Many jobs with one important thing in common

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It's been a strange and busy weekend for me.

On Friday night, my wife Elysha and I produced an unforgettable Speak Up storytelling event at Infinity Hall in Hartford. Our near-sellout audience enjoyed what might have been our best show ever, headlined by United States Senator Chris Murphy who told a fantastic story about an embarrassing moment he experienced while serving as an intern for Senator Chris Dodd. 

In addition to producing the show, I told a brand new story about one of my most embarrassing and shameful parenting moments ever.

On Saturday my DJ partner, Bengi, and I worked our last wedding of 2018 at the Webb Barn in Wethersfield. I coordinated their ceremony and reception, served as emcee for much of the evening, and played music for a bunch of happy and excited guests.  

On Sunday I traveled to Groton, MA to serve as minister at the First Parish Church of Groton while their full time minister was on vacation. In addition to delivering a sermon on faith, I also delivered a children's sermon, read poems and prayers (one that I wrote myself) from the pulpit, led the congregation in song, and even pulled the enormous cord that rang the church's famed Paul Revere bell, calling all to the service. 

I did everything a minister would do with a little help from the worship coordinator and musical director.

After lunch with the parishioners, I taught a storytelling workshop to interested members and some folks from the community before heading home and discovering that the DVR failed to record the Patriots game.

Quite the weekend. 

It seems like an bizarre combination of roles to jam into a three day period - storyteller, producer, wedding DJ, minister, teacher - but in truth, all of these roles rely on the ability to communicate effectively to a large group of people. The jobs may have been different, but in each case, the skill set required was essentially the same.

Speak. Connect. Engage. Entertain.  

I say in the last chapter of my book, Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life Through the Power of Storytelling, that storytelling is a super power, and I wasn't kidding. Being able to tell a good story and engage an audience can open up all kinds of doors for you.

It can be the difference between being heard and remaining silent.

This weekend it meant sharing a stage with a US Senator, dancing the night away with a couple on their wedding day, and climbing the pulpit to tell a story and deliver a message on the age old struggle for faith.  

I was also able to help six other storytellers tell their best stories on their biggest stage of their lives and teach a group of folks in a church basement how to begin their own journey into storytelling.

Learn to tell great stories. It truly is a super power. You never know what doors it may open for you.

Speak Up Storytelling #22: Q&A catch-up

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Episode #22 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast is now available for your listening pleasure. On this week’s episode, Elysha Dicks and I talk about finding excellent stories in your everyday life using my strategy "Homework for Life." We discuss how a moment can not only be storyworthy for the stage but might be useful in many other contexts in life.  

Next, we break format. Rather than listening to a story and critiquing, we decided to clear out the mailbox by dedicating this episode to listener questions.

We answer questions about:

  1. Telling other people's stories

  2. Storytelling etiquette

  3. Homework for Life best practices

  4. The verbal detritus than can sometimes accompany storytelling

  5. The importance of stories being relatable

Then we end the podcast from a remarkable clip from a popular Netflix series. 

If you haven't subscribed to the podcast in Apple podcasts (or wherever you receive your podcasts), please do. And if you haven't rated and/or reviewed the podcast in Apple Podcasts (who are the best people ever), we would love it if you did.

Ratings and reviews help listeners find our podcast easier, and it makes us feel better about ourselves and our work.

"Ask a Teacher" has become a permanent gig of sorts, and perhaps another step to my lifelong dream

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I’m happy to report that my temporary role as columnist for Slate’s “Ask a Teacher” column has become permanent.

I wrote four columns of my own in the weeks prior to the start of school, and since then, the column has transformed into a something that a group of teacher-writers contribute to weekly, including me.

My longtime dream is to land a daily or weekly column with a newspaper, but given the state of newspapers, a column on a large, internet magazine might be a better option.

This isn’t exactly what I envisioned when I imagined myself as a columnist, but it’s a first step. My goal is for someone to allow me to write whatever the hell I want on a daily or weekly basis, but anytime someone is willing to pay you for thinking and writing stuff, it’s still a good day.

I’m also the humor columnist for Seasons magazine, which is more in line with my vision of a columnist, but this is a quarterly, regional magazine that can’t be purchased in the traditional means. Though it’s distributed to more than 60,000 households and has more than 200,000 readers, the magazine is direct mailed free of charge to all households within certain target geographic areas. 

I love writing for them, and I hear from readers all the time about those columns, but if you don’t live in the six regions where it’s delivered, you will never see my column.

Still, another great step, and it’s someone willing to pay me for my thoughts and words.

You can read all of my “Ask a Teacher” columns, including my latest answer about how to handle a student who loves to doodle in class, here.

Speak Up #60 was a big night

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Kind of an amazing night.

When Elysha and I launched Speak Up in May of 2013, we wondered if anyone would show up.

We wondered if our first show would also be our last show.

Our expectations were low and our vision for the future of Speak Up was dim. If some people came to our show and didn’t hate us, it would be considered a victory.

Last night we produced our 60th show at Infinity Hall in Hartford, and it may have been our best yet. The storytellers - four of whom were brand new - were outstanding. Filled with humor and heart. Our nearly sold-out audience ate them up.

And of course, the night was made even more special by the inclusion of United States Senator Chris Murphy, who I have been trying to get in the show for more than a year. Senator Murphy led off with a story about his time as an intern in Washington, DC. He stuck to our theme of “Walk of Shame: Stories of Embarrassment,” spoke from the heart, made the audience laugh, and honestly sounded just like any other storyteller onstage except for the fact that he’s a US Senator.

Just like the rest of the storytellers, he killed.

Prior to last night, we’ve only had a couple celebrity storytellers on our stage. Two years ago George Dawes Green, the founder of The Moth, graced our stage with a brilliant story, and we also had Catherine Burns, artistic director for The Moth, tell a fantastic story as well.

Though both of those human beings are luminaries in my mind, they are not nearly as well known as Senator Murphy. If you know and love The Moth, you know George and Catherine, but if you don’t know The Moth, you are tragically unaware of them and their remarkable work.

So last night was a big deal for us. The next time I ask a celebrity, politician, sports figure, or the like to tell a story for us, I’ll be able to say, “A United States Senator has told a story for us. Maybe you’d like to tell a story, too?”

There was a moment last night when Elysha and I were standing in the dark backstage, listening to the Senator tell his story, and I recognized how big a night this was for us. Someday, far into the future, when we are reflecting on some of the things we have done as a couple, we will remember this night with great fondness.

The night eight storytellers - one more than usual because of the last minute addition of Senator Murphy - took the stage and told stories that our audience absolutely loved, and one of them was the United States Senator who we love and support more than any politician in office today.

It was a big step for us, and as is always the case, I now find myself in search of the next big step. The next leap forward. The next moonshot.

Never stop looking for the next big thing.

What inappropriate things did I put in my mouth?

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Tonight I’ll be taking the stage at Infinity Hall in Hartford to tell a story for Speak Up.

It will be our 60th show, stretching back to April of 2013 when we produced our very first show in an art gallery at Real Art Ways, and I have told a story at every one.

In addition, I’ve also told stories at all five of our Speak Up - Voices of Hope co-productions, as well as showcases for Unified Theater, West Hartford Public Schools, and Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health,

That’s a lot of stories. In that time, I have only repeated stories twice.

Once accidentally, and once at Space Ballroom, our new venue in New Haven, CT, where we will be bringing stories first told in the Hartford area to a new audience.

Add to that the 22 Moth GrandSLAMs and 66 Moth StorySLAMs, half a dozen Moth Mainstage performances, and dozens of one-off shows. Some Moth stories have migrated to Speak Up, and some Speak Up stories have migrated to The Moth, of course, but it’s still a boatload of stories.

In all, I have told 116 different stories on stages around the country and the world.

“How do you find so many stories?” I am constantly asked.

My usual answer is Homework for Life, an exercise that first developed for myself and then began teaching. Add to that two other exercises that I detail in my book Storyworthy, and that makes up the bulk of my story finding techniques.

I also remember a lot. I have one of those memories for moments in my life. My sister is the same way. We simply recall more of our past than most people. Part of it has to do with the fraught, strange, challenging, ridiculous, and trauma-filled past that we both share.

If your life hasn’t been lovely and idyllic, you’re likely to remember more of it.

But also this:

I relentlessly look for stories. I seek them out. I turn over rocks to find them. So when I see this amusing carousel sign last weekend, I turn over a rock. I ask myself:

“What inappropriate things have I put in my mouth?”

Some have already been told onstage.

  • I swallowed a penny when I was about seven years-old, and I won a Moth StorySLAM with that story.

  • I choked on a bay leaf (and nearly had my chest cracked open by surgeons) about ten years ago. I told that story at Speak Up last year. I’m still waiting for the right moment to take it to The Moth.

  • I once drank spiked punch from a trashcan that contained a block of ice with roadkill at its center. I told that story at The Moth way back in 2011, failed to hear the timer, and spoke for eight minutes. I’ll need to re-tell that one someday.

  • I was once tricked into eating my pet rabbit by a girlfriend’s father. I won a Moth GrandSLAM with that story this year.

But then I thought:

  • I sucked my thumb well into third grade and only quit when a teacher shamed me, which led to me punching a kid in the head. That’s a story.

  • I once drank a mug of communal leftover drinks at a bachelor party and got so drunk that I started running around the VFW thinking I was being chased by evil men in bear suits. I also gave a guy a nickname that night that stuck for the rest of his life. That’s a story.

  • When I was a boy, I took communion at the Catholic Church, trying desperately to fit in but not realizing why I was even in line and what I was about to receive. The priest placed the wafer on my tongue, and I was so disgusted by the taste and the meaning of the ceremony that I spit the half chewed wafer into my hand and stuffed it into a Bible. That is a story.

  • At my best friend’s wedding, my friend, Scott, and I engaged in a stupid drinking competition which led me to drink 22 kamikaze shots over the course of eight hours and still lose the competition. That is a story.

  • Then I recalled the time about 15 years ago when my dog, Kaleigh, ate a Sudafed gel caplet. When I called the veterinarian (at 10:30 PM) to find out how serious it might be, she said, “You have about 10 minutes to get her to the hospital before her heart explodes.” That’s a story.

One sign. Five stories. Not bad.

Granted, the ability to craft these moments into full-fledged stories isn’t something everyone can do, but read my book, take a workshop or two, and start listening to stories like I do, and you’ll eventually be able to.

But the important part is to look for stories. Open your mind to them. Ask yourself questions. Explore your past. Until I saw that sign, I had forgotten four of those stories completely, and I hadn’t thought about the fifth in years. Even if I never tell them on stage, I’ve recaptured little bits of my life. I turned over a rock and found more of myself than I knew existed.

I love that. You will, too.

I threw away my bathrobe after wearing it zero times

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I threw away my bathrobe a few years ago. It was soft and warm and looked lovely, but I never wore it.

I never found a single moment to wear it in the five years I owned it.

This is not to criticize anyone who wears a bathrobe after they emerge from the shower. Perhaps the bathrobe sparks joy in your life and is a critical element to starting your day.

But it takes me about 30 seconds to dry off using a towel and about 30 seconds to get dressed, and for me, additional time - even if just minutes or seconds - always sparks joy in me.

Every time I reached for my bathrobe, I thought, "Why get involved in that added step? Get dressed and get on with your day, damn it."

If you’re wondering where you might recapture a few extra minutes every day (which add up quickly), consider tossing the robe. It may be sucking the life out of you. 

And owning less stuff is always a good thing.

This sign is amusing but otherwise pointless

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This sign can be found at the entrance to the historic carousel in Bushnell Park in downtown Hartford.

There are so many things wrong with this sign:

  1. I don’t think the sign’s target audience - the kind of child who would put a ticket in their mouth - is willing or able to read this sign.

  2. I don’t think a parent would allow their child to put a ticket in their mouth, see this sign, and only then instruct the child to remove said ticket. Parents are either going to prevent the ticket-to-mouth connection from the start or they are the kind of parent who really doesn’t care.

  3. I don’t feel like there is any kid in the world contemplating putting a ticket in their mouth and then deciding against it upon seeing this sign. The ticket is either instantly in the mouth or not. There is no careful weighing of the pros and cons of a ticket in the mouth, so this sign would at best only limit the amount of time that the ticket might spend in a child’s mouth, but even that is highly improbable (see #1).

  4. This sign is at the entrance to the carousel itself. In other words, it’s positioned in the the exact spot where the child must relinquish the ticket to the ticket-taker. At this point, it’s too late. No child places the ticket in their mouth just seconds before handing it over to the adult in charge. If a ticket has spent any time in a child’s mouth, that happened long before the transaction between ticket taker and child takes place.

  5. I also find it amusing that the sign is placed beside a sign encouraging parents to host their child’s next birthday at the carousel. It’s a sign indicating that children are disgusting alongside a sign inviting parents to being many more disgusting children to the carousel.

  6. All that said, the sign brought joy to my heart, so at least in this regard, it was appreciated.

Own your domain, dummy

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Wondering what kind of information Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh might include on BrettKavanaugh.com now that he has won his confirmation?

We’ll never know. He doesn’t own the domain.

The domain BrettKavanaugh.com is now a dedicated forum for helping sexual assault victims and ending rape. The website, titled "We Believe Survivors," was purchased by Fix The Court, which advocates for judicial transparency.

The domain and similar sites ending in .org and .net was purchased three years ago with the idea they could be "useful in any forthcoming Supreme Court confirmation battles," the organization's executive director, Gabe Roth, said. 

Why Brett Kavanaugh didn’t purchase this domain years ago is beyond me.

Perhaps he was drunk with Squee at the time, writing crude, sexually explicit, and publicly shaming comments about Renate Schroeder in his yearbook.

Meanwhile, I own matthewdicks.com, as well as mattdicks.com and matthewdicks.net.

I also own my name on MySpace and Facebook, as well as the Twitter handle @MatthewDicks, the Instagram handle @MatthewDicks, and even the Pinterest handle @MatthewDicks.

When I see a new platform gaining steam, I grab my name just in case.

Even Donald Trump doesn’t own his Twitter handle. Instead, he is @realDonaldTrump.

I also own elyshadicks.com, claradicks.com, and charliedicks.com.

Someday Clara and Charlie are going to be very pleased about their genius father’s foresight and planning. To have a domain that actually matches your name is already unusual. It will only become more uncommon in the future, particularly when so much of our lives exist on the Internet.

I recommend that parents do this for their children.

I plan on telling my kids about this great news when:

  1. They understand the value of owning a domain like this

  2. I’ve said something regrettable or horrendous to them and need to find a way to get them to forgive me quickly.

I was a Boy Scout. I believe in being prepared.

Speak Up Storytelling #21: Don Picard

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Episode #21 of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast is now available for your listening pleasure.

On this week’s episode, Elysha Dicks and I talk about finding excellent stories in your everyday life using my strategy "Homework for Life." We discuss how a moment that didn't seem initially storyworthy can prove to be storyworthy with a little consideration. We also receive two outstanding Homework for Life recommendations from listeners. 

Next, we listen to Don Picard's story about his unusual family composition, followed by commentary and critique, including:

  1. Breaking longer stories into two or more shorter stories

  2. Encapsulating big ideas into small, specific scenes

  3. The funneling of a story from fast paced, episodic moments that advance time quickly to the specific heart of the story

  4. The purpose and effectiveness of summarizing unique, odd, and incomprehensible moments in story

  5. Preserving surprising by allowing your audience to draw their own conclusions

  6. The importance of maintaining time order to avoid confusion

Then we answer a listener question about what we do for a living when not working on Speak Up and our podcast.  

Lastly, we each offer a recommendation. 

If you haven't subscribed to the podcast in Apple podcasts (or wherever you receive your podcasts), please do. And if you haven't rated and/or reviewed the podcast in Apple Podcasts (who are the best people ever), we would love it if you did.

Ratings and reviews help listeners find our podcast easier, and it makes us feel better about ourselves and our work.

Brett Kavanaugh and the photo that will never go away

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You’ve probably seen the photo already, and even if you haven’t, you’re probably trying to put the Brett Kavanaugh hearings behind you, but I just couldn’t let the moment pass without taking a moment to highlight this remarkable image.

I don’t know if Brett Kavanaugh sexually assaulted Dr. Ford, but here’s what I do know:

  1. The percentage of false accusations against men by women for crimes of this type is exceptionally small.

  2. An enormous number of sexual assault victims do not come forward for many understandable reasons. Remaining silent is tragically common.

  3. Dr. Ford had a hell of a lot to lose (and did) by coming forward and had little incentive to do so. Even if her testimony derailed the Kavanaugh confirmation, Republicans would simply confirm a different, equally conservative justice. She was not going to change the political leaning of the court by her testimony. She’s also had to endure death threats and Trump’s mocking attacks at his rallies less than a week after claiming to find Dr. Ford to be a credible and sympathetic witness.

  4. For centuries, female sexual assault victims have been ignored, silenced, and condemned, so I have made it a point to be as open as possible to their claims. This is not a dangerous time for young men. It is an ongoing and endlessly dangerous time to be a woman.

  5. Even if Kavanaugh is not guilty of Dr. Ford’s allegations, he lied several times during his confirmation hearings, and that alone should have disqualified him from service on the court. Republicans ignored this because they have abdicated all moral authority in this country in favor of power and fear of the Trump base.

  6. This was not a trial. It was a job interview, so the standards of guilt and innocence do not apply here. If a woman had made a credible claim of sexual misconduct against me during my interview to become a teacher, and I had responded to the charges with anger, defensiveness, partisan attacks, victim blaming, and conspiracy theories, I would never have expected to be hired. Temperament is important for a teacher and for a judge, and Kavanaugh did not demonstrate a temperament required for service on the court during his testimony.

In short, I don’t think Kavanaugh deserved to be confirmed, and a majority of Americans in the latest polling agree with me. In fact, since his confirmation, the number of Americans who don’t believe that he should’ve been confirmed has increased.

This is why I love this photo. Kavanaugh might possess the power that he has sought for much of his adult life, but he will never enjoy all of the prestige of the position. He will always be the least popular Supreme Court nominee. A man who lied on the stand and lost his temper during his hearings. And the credible allegations of sexual assault will never be forgotten.

When an Internet search is conducted on Kavanaugh in the future, this photo is likely to come up every time, and happily so. It serves as a testament to the mockery of his confirmation process and the shame that Kavanaugh has brought to the Supreme Court.

Oddly, most of the scowling women sitting behind Kavanaugh support him. They are his wife, two friends, his mother, and a former law clerk, supporting him in the moment but doing him no favors in terms of posterity.

Perhaps this is the best karma could do given the circumstances.

Matilda vs. Donald Trump

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This statue of the the classic British children's character Matilda staring down a likeness of President Donald Trump has been erected to celebrate the 30th anniversary of the release of Roald Dahl's 1988 novel.

As the Roald Dahl Story Company prepared to mark the anniversary of the novel, it asked the British public to weigh in on a replacement for Miss Trunchbull, the villainous headmistress. A survey asked who Matilda’s present-day antagonist would be.

Topping the poll by a wide margin was, of course, Donald Trump.

Even in a nation an ocean away, with the likes of Piers Morgan and Nigel Farage from which to choose, the most vile person who immediately comes to the British mind is the same one who Americans despise in historically large numbers.

For the record, Matilda would kick Trump’s ass if given half a chance.