At last I am a Beautiful Person. Verified and confirmed by beautifulpeople.com.

In 2013, I applied twice for acceptance to beautifulpeople.com, a social networking site designed specifically for attractive people. Access to beautifulpeople.com is granted only if the members of the network deem you attractive enough to be a member.

I was rejected both times. I cataloged my rejections in blog posts in both August and September of that year. 

In August of this year, I applied to beautifulpeople.com again, using the same photo that I used in 2013.

This photo:

After three days of voting, I was accepted. 

Yes. That's right, people.

I'm a beautiful person. It's been verified. Confirmed. Authenticated.

If I was a professional athlete, I would say that no one can take this away from me, except I'm not, and beautifulpeople.com has been know to kick people off the network for failing to maintain suitable levels of attractiveness.

Still, it's about damn time. 

Now that I've snuck past the good looking gatekeepers and am on the inside, I've been exploring the network as much as possible. Here is what I can report:

  • The operators of beautifulpeople.com really, really want me to upgrade to a premium membership for $12.49 per month. Many of the benefits of the network are hidden behind the paywall.
  • I am now allowed to vote on prospective members. I have chosen not to do this, since I have vowed to never comment on the physical appearance of others, but it's tempting. 
  • I've received five emails from current members. I need to become a premium member in order to read them.
  • I've received four "blinks" from members. I have no idea what this means.
  • Elizabeth G. from Chicago and Khaleesss from Houston "like" me. Khaleesss also added me as a favorite. 
  • Three members are currently "checking me out." I can't see who they are without becoming a premium member. Nor do I really know what "checking me out" means.
  • Based upon a sampling of the last 100 new members to the network, it appears that the female to male ratio is about 7:1. 
  • A surprising number of profile photos are taken inside a automobile. Exposed cleavage is also often used in profile photos. Bathing suits, hats, and selfies taken in front of a mirror are also popular. 
  • The network presets my account to only see female members in the network. In order to see men, I needed to change my settings.
  • Beautifulpeople.com apparently sponsors events that I am now invited to. The next two events are in London and Australia. I don't think my wife will allow me to attend.
  • Members are ranked, with lists of the most popular and highest ranked members available for browsing.  
  • My average photo score is a 3.0. I don't know what the actual scale is, though I suspect that it's at least a 5 point scale. Perhaps a 50 point scale. 

As much as I'd like to gain access to the premium areas of the network, I probably won't be paying the $12.49 to do so. I can't envision myself spending money on this particular product, even in the pursuit of valuable information. As much as I love being authenticated as a beautiful person (and therefore having irrefutable proof of my beauty), I can't see any real benefits from being a member of the network.

I like my $12.49 too much.  

Perhaps I'll start a Kickstarter campaign to raise the necessary funds. 

I applied AGAIN to BeautifulPeople.com, a social network for only the most beautiful of people. Here are the results of the voting.

As promised, I attempted to gain access to BeautifulPeople.com over the Labor Day weekend, hoping that the members of the social network feel slightly more charitable than the last time I tried to join.

BeautifulPeople was originally launched as a dating site that billed itself as “an exclusively beautiful community.” It recently added an employment feature on the website intended for employers who want to hire “good-looking staff.”

To be granted entry to BeautifulPeople, individuals must submit a headshot that is voted upon by existing members of the opposite sex. If one is deemed beautiful enough to gain entry – a process the company claims is “fair and democratic” – not only will you “have access to the most attractive people locally and from around the globe,” but job seekers will also be able to look through the site’s job listings, apply directly to companies and network with other presumably “beautiful” people.

After uploading my headshot, I began the 48 hour process in which women who are already members of the social network voted on my level of  attractiveness.   

The voting is fairly transparent. At any time, you can see how you are faring on the attractiveness scale, as well as your current IN/OUT standing.

Things did not start out well. Less than three minutes into the voting, I was already out, which was a dramatic change from the first time I applied. Almost instantly, women who I had never met found me unworthy.

Needless to say, I was discouraged and feeling stupid for trying this thing again.

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Ten minutes later, I was feeling even worse, both because I was desperate enough to hit refresh after only 10 minutes and because my In/Out status was looking even worse. My status plummeted to levels that I’d never seen during my first attempt, and the number of women who clearly felt that I was not beautiful had soared.

I began to lose hope.

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When I awoke the next morning, I braced myself for disappointment and grudgingly checked my status again. Surprisingly, I was greeted with excellent news. Not only had my score increased considerably, but I was in! Not too many members of BeautifulPeople.com considered me beautiful, but a whole bunch thought of me as “Hmmm… OK.”

I could live with “Hmmm, OK.” I could easily leave this.

This is probably how my wife would describe me.

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Six hours later my status had dipped a bit, but I was still in. Like the first time I applied to this social network, my status continued to hover on the line between In and Out, but as long as I remained In, I didn’t mind.

I didn’t need a slam-dunk. I didn’t want absolute beauty. Just acceptance.

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Four hours later, my status has soared.

Not really, but it felt as if it had soared. Every millimeter to the right of center felt like a mile. I was nearing the halfway point of my voting period and the ladies clearly felt that I was solidly “Hmmm… OK.”

It was thrilling.

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It was nine hours before I could check my status again. As I clicked the refresh button, I crossed my fingers, hoping for anything above the In/Out line. A micrometer would do.

Unfortunately, the micrometer was on the wrong side of center. I was out. It was by the barest of margins, but I was definitively out. Even worse, my “Absolutely not” ratings had soared.

A significant number of women were unable to find my physical appearance even mildly palatable.

All hope was lost.

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Three hours later, I refreshed my status, not expecting to find anything good but knowing that I would need screen shots to write this post.

Just like that, Hope was restored! I was in, by the slimmest of margins yet again, but this fight was not over. Women all over the world were rising up and saying, “He’s… hmmm, OK, damn it! Let him in!”

I couldn’t believe it.

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Three hours later, my status had risen considerable. Three-quarters of the way through my voting period and with an afternoon and evening of Labor Day left for voting, I was clearly, undeniably beautiful. If my plan was working, all of these female voters were spending the last day of their holiday weekend at beaches, picnics and backyard barbeques. None of them would have the time nor the inclination to log into their network and vote on candidates like me.

My entry into this network would be all but assured.

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Just before leaving for my own backyard barbeque, I refreshed my browser one more time. My status was holding strong. Things were looking good. I left my home with hope in my heart and visions of beauty in my mind.

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I returned home with less than two hours remaining in the voting and refreshed. Hope was instantly replaced by despair. Though the women who were voting on me were verifiably beautiful (at least by their social network standards), none of them had apparently been invited to any social gatherings for Labor Day. Voting had continued while I was eating hot dogs and swapping stories with friends, and it had not gone well. I was once again out, hovering around the center of the status bar.

I also noticed that I was receiving considerably fewer “Beautiful” ratings than my last attempt to gain access to the network. This was turning into a battle between women who thought I was not beautiful and women who thought I was marginally acceptable.

This was not good.

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With less than an hour to go, I was still out and hope was fading fast. There were nearly as many “Absolutely Not” ratings than anything else. Even though I was still hovering near the center of the status bar, I felt like my goose was cooked.

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It was.

When the voting ended, my beauty was clearly to the left of the status bar. In the end, there had been more “Hmmm…OK” voters than “Absolutely Not” voters, but barely.

In the minds of the BeautifulPeople.com voters, I was either grudgingly acceptable or absolutely not beautiful.

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Once again, I received an exceedingly pleasant and encouraging email from BeautifulPeople.com, reminding me again that the reasons for my failure could include:

  • Wearing Sunglasses on the application photo
  • More than one person on the photo
  • Bad quality photo
  • Lack of profile description

Once again, none of these were the case for me. I suspect the real reason that I did not gain entry is because of my actual physical appearance.

I’ve failed twice to gain entry to BeautfulPeople.com. Both times I have flirted with success but ultimately failed. I was hoping that timing might make a difference this time. Labor Day weekend is a time when people feel happy and good, and I had hoped to benefit from some of those positive feelings.

I had hoped to find a more charitable audience. Alas, that was not the case. Though the course of the voting had been slightly different, the end result was nearly identical.

I am not beautiful. I must accept this.

Until Christmas. Christmas is the time when people are feeling the most charitable. Christmas is a time of good cheer and generosity. Christmas is a time when marginally acceptable looking people can become Hmmm, OK.  

That’s when I’ll apply to BeautifulPeople.com again. I’ll post my application just after midnight on the day of Christmas Eve. Voting will take place from December 24 through December 25, and on midnight of Christmas Day, I should receive one extra, unexpected, glorious gift.

The gift of confirmed, verifiable, undeniable beauty.

Christmas, my friends. That is when I will be beautiful.

I applied for BeautifulPeople.com, a social network for only the most beautiful of people. Here are the results of the voting.

I read about the social network BeautifulPeople.com in a piece in TIME magazine.

BeautifulPeople was originally launched as a dating site that billed itself as “an exclusively beautiful community.” It recently added an employment feature on the website intended for employers who want to hire “good-looking staff.”

To be granted entry to BeautifulPeople, individuals must submit a headshot that is voted upon by existing members of the opposite sex. If one is deemed beautiful enough to gain entry – a process the company claims is “fair and democratic” – not only will you “have access to the most attractive people locally and from around the globe,” but job seekers will also be able to look through the site’s job listings, apply directly to companies and network with other presumably “beautiful” people.

How could I not try to become a member of BeautifulPeople?

After uploading my headshot, I began the 48 hour process in which women who are already members of the social network voted on my level of  attractiveness.   

The voting is fairly transparent. At any time, you can see how you are faring on the attractiveness scale, as well as your current IN/OUT standing.

Right out of the gate, it was looking good. Solidly IN but not so much that I could brag. Just the right amount of IN, I thought.

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About fifteen hours later, I was still IN, though my margin of error has diminished considerably.

Sunday 6AM

I also noted that there were not a lot of “Beautiful” votes, but a bunch of women had rated me as “Hmmmm OK.”

I could live with that. Even if this was my wife’s assessment of my physical  appearance, I could live with it. But I won’t lie. The substantial number of “No” and “Absolutely Not” votes hurt a little.

It was at this point (perhaps as a defense mechanism) that I began to feel like acceptance to this social network was not something I really wanted. Anonymous strangers were evaluating my level of attractiveness for the sole purpose of determining if I could be a member of their group. This struck me as worse than high school. I felt a little dirty. I thought I might be embarrassed about my acceptance into this exclusive group.

What kind of people would engage in this kind of image obsessed behavior?

Suddenly my IN/OUT status didn’t seem so important.

Five hours later, my status had decreased slightly. Almost imperceptibly. 

6-9 11AM

Just like that, my IN/OUT status mattered a lot. I was still considered beautiful enough to be permitted access to the group, but only by the slightest of margins. And that margin appeared to be closing fast.

What the hell was wrong with these people? I may not be legitimately beautiful, but I’m at least two clicks above average, damn it.

I was angry. I wanted in. I deserved to be in. 

Six hours later, the margin of error had increased a bit.

6-9 5PM

Still almost no “Beautiful” votes but enough “Hmmmm OK” votes to apparently make up for the growing pile of “No” and “Absolutely Not” ratings.

I was feeling a little better. A majority of women thought I was cute. At least the algorithm said so.

Just three hours later, all hell broke loose.

Not really, but I dropped from IN to OUT for the first time. It appeared that my overall rating was exactly in the middle of the continuum, and yet I was OUT. Apparently average doesn’t pass muster on BeautifulPeople.com.

Stupid algorithm. 

6-9 9PM

I took solace in the small uptick of “Beautiful” votes.

Not really.

When I was IN, I didn’t care about BeautifulPeople.com. In fact, I almost wanted to be OUT.

Now that I was OUT, I wanted nothing more than to be IN. I would’ve given my right arm to be IN.

I’m left handed. 

I stayed away from the website for 9 hours before checking again. I couldn't bare the heartache and disappointment. But when I returned, my feelings of rejection were washed away with good news. I was IN again, and by one of the widest margin thus far!

6-10 5AM

Not only was I IN, but my “Beautiful” votes had soared. Women who I would never see or speak to considered me beautiful.

What more could a man want?

Then I got cocky. I assumed that this wide margin would only continue to grow over time. I began planning ways of telling my friends and family about my verified attractiveness. I would bring it up casually in conversation, I decided, perhaps at the mention of another social network like Facebook or Twitter. I wouldn’t brag. Beautiful people don’t need to brag, I would simply be informative.

With about an hour to go before voting closed, I checked back in again, this time on my phone. I was dumbstruck. 

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This had to be a mistake. I refreshed the screen, hoping for a glitch that I knew didn’t exist. Even worse, because I was on my phone now, the screen size caused the ratings to seem to change. I looked as if some of the women who had originally voted me “Beautiful” had changed their votes to “No” or “Absolutely Not.” 

I was crushed. What were the chances that things would change again within the hour?

Not good, I thought.

When the voting closed a little more than an hour later, I received an email from BeautifulPeople.com. It read:

Dear MatthewDicks,

Unfortunately, your application to BeautifulPeople was not successful.
Please note, only one in five applicants are currently accepted into BeautifulPeople.com

Even though your application was not successful, there are several things that can affect the outcome which you should be aware of:

      • Wearing Sunglasses on the application photo
      • More than one person on the photo
      • Bad quality photo
      • Lack of profile description

BeautifulPeople encourages you to try again.

Please make sure you take the time to check all your details before applying, as this will dramatically increase your chances of being accepted in by our members.

We wish you all the best success.

Sincerely,
BeautifulPeople

I tried to find a silver living in the email.

Only one in five applicants were currently being accepted. In other words, “You are not in the top twenty percent in terms of attractiveness, loser.”

I looked at the list of factors that might have contributed to my failure. None applied to me. I was not wearing sunglasses. I was alone in my photo. The headshot had been taken by a professional photographer, and my profile description had been written by a publicist.

It couldn’t get much better.

Perhaps a fifth bullet should have read:

    • Sadly, you provided an actual photograph of yourself. This was the cause of your downfall.

Yet there was a glimmer of hope. BeautifulPeople.com was encouraging me to apply again, and I will. Same photograph. Same bio. The one thing I will change will be my timing.

When I was dating, I learned that timing is everything.

A girl who would ordinarily never date you could be convinced to give you a chance if you caught her on the rebound.

A girl who showed no interest in you could be convinced of your charm and wit with a couple glasses of wine and the right atmosphere.

A girl who never noticed you might suddenly find you intriguing if another girl was showing interest.

Timing matters. My plan is to apply for BeautifulPeople.com again at a time when people are feeling especially happy and possibly generous.

I’m thinking Labor Day weekend.

Everyone loves a three day weekend, and though Labor Day often signals an end to the summer to many, it is a weekend filled with barbeques and good times. Perhaps if the members of BeautifulPeople.com are spending the weekend at the beach or at parties, they will be feeling slightly more generous than usual.   

The good news is I don’t need much to gain access to this loathsome and highly appealing social network. I was on the cusp on entry for the entire 48 hour period. All I need to do is catch a few more female members on the right day, at the right time, and I’m IN.

Labor Day weekend. That is my plan. That is when I will be beautiful, I hope.

I’ll let you know how it goes.