Retro eyewear

You know what you don’t see much of nowadays? The monocle.

You know, the single eye piece adorned by nineteenth century capitalists, German military officials, Karl Marx, The Penguin, and Colonel Mustard.

What an odd choice for a corrective lens. Don’t you think? Essentially, a rounded piece of glass is jammed into the eye orbit, and a string or light chain is used to connect the monocle to an item of the wearer’s clothing, in the event that he or she tired of the constant squinting required to keep the item in place.

Wikipedia claims that it is a myth that the monocle was uncomfortable to wear but then contradicts itself with statements like:

Periodic adjustment is a fact of life for monocle wearers to keep the monocle from popping out

Often only the rich could afford to have monocles custom-manufactured and the poor had to settle for poorly-fitted monocles that were less comfortable and less secure.

The popular perception was (and still is) that a monocle could easily fall off with the wrong facial expression. This is true to an extent, as raising the eyebrow too far will allow the monocle to fall.

Sounds like fun to wear. Huh?

I think the monocle might be an excellent fashion accessory for the teenager who is looking to establish a new trend or identity. Perhaps the Goth or Emo movements could give way to teenagers donning top hats and tails and jamming single lenses into their orbital sockets.

I know it sounds dumb, but have you seen these kids walking around like disinterested vampires? They are going to have so many photos to burn in ten years. While the top hat and monocle look isn’t much better, at least it would be something new.

Or more accurately, something old made new again.

I think I just found a new character for my latest book.