Weiner envy

Bestselling author Jennifer Weiner’s iPhone app was released today.  It looks excellent. 

But I am annoyed.

I created an iPhone app about six months ago that brings all my content into one convenient location on the phone.  Blog posts, Twitter feed, unpublished chapters, book club material, and more.  But I had to design and build the app on my own, using an online service, a little bit of coding, and some duct tape to make it work.  It would appear that Jen’s app was designed by her publisher, Simon and Schuster, and it also appears that they brought their considerable resources to the endeavor. 

Frankly, it makes mine look like a joke.

Of course, Jen is a best selling author with a bushel of novels and a billion Twitter followers, whereas I have one book in stores and a second coming out in a couple weeks, and neither one has been a bestseller so far. 

But what annoys me the most is that Apple rejected my app, declaring it not relevant enough for inclusion in the iTunes store.

Not relevant. 

If you have an Android phone, you can find my app in the Android marketplace, but for the millions of iPhone owners out there, myself including, Steve Jobs and his minions have deemed me irrelevant.

Jerks.

Yesterday I was unable to sign up for an appointment at the Genius Bar of my local Apple store because my last name was deemed “vulgar and offensive.”  I had to use a fake name in order to secure an appointment.

What the hell does Apple have against me?

I think Jennifer Weiner is fantastic and funny and most deserving of the acclaim that she has received for her work.  On the literary mountaintop, she is somewhere near the summit while I am still entrenched in the foothills surrounding the mountain. 

But is it too much to ask to at least be deemed relevant?

I used to hope that UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO would become a bestseller because of the impact that it would have on my career and my future work.

And it would be nice to know that so many people enjoyed my story.

But now I’m hoping to hit the bestseller list out of spite, just so I can send an email to Steve Jobs letting him know how relevant I am.

While politely asking for him to reconsider my shoddily-designed iPhone app for his marketplace.