99 reasons that I love Elysha Dicks
/Today is our seventh anniversary. Please forgive me this indulgence.
Here are just some of the many reasons that I love my wife as much as I do.
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1. The way she sleeps on folded hands
2. She once yelled at a 90 year-old woman who was cheating in Scrabble
3. The way she is like a mother and a sister at the same time to Clara
4. She once skipped school to play The Legend of Zelda
5. Many of my friends consider her to be the ideal wife
6. She is one of the finest teachers I have ever known
7. She asked to stop talking to watch The Simpsons on our first date
8. She makes me a better storyteller
9. She loves Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Paul Simon and Patsy Cline
10. She feels bad about the spiders she kills
11. She tells me what to put me on my plate in a buffet line
12. She asks me when Hard Knocks is starting again
13. She can navigate any mall flawlessly but almost nothing else
14. The way she disappears for two days when she reads a book
15. Her senseless fear of aliens
16. Holding her hand
17. Listening to an audiobook with her on a long drive
18. The new set of parents that she has brought into my life
19. She looks beautiful in a baseball cap
20. She way she puts her hand on my shoulder after a nightmare
21. She knows me better than I know myself
22. The way she plays with infants in her lap
23. The way she runs her hands through my hair while I'm driving
24. Her aggressive response to people who cut in line
25. The way that my friends have become her friends
26. Her infinitesimal lisp
27. The way she reads her childhood stories to our children
28. Her undercover streak of unrelenting nonconformity
29. Watching her dance
30. The way I knew she was pregnant with Clara before she did
31. Her complete and total lack of jealousy
32. The way she has never told me what to wear
33. The degree to which she hates people who hate me
34. Her love for Battlestar Galactica
35. The way she fills our home with music every evening
36. Her ability to react quickly and without panic in an emergency
37. The partnership we share in writing, storytelling and creativity
38. The way she looks in her green Smith tee-shirt
39. Her lack of concern over what others think of her
40. Her inability to watch any scary movie
41. The way she wraps gifts in magazine photographs
42. Her Buffy the Vampire Slayer fandom, including the soundtrack
43. The way she looks while wearing a headband
44. Her astounding patience
45. Her “good rice and chicken” dinner
46. Her fierce love of her grandmother
47. Her ability to name almost any song on the radio within three seconds
48. The way she cried when I asked her to marry me
49. Her harsh but frequently necessary criticism of my writing
50. The way she said Charlie’s name for the first time in the delivery room
51. Her timeless beauty on our wedding day
52. Our “South Park is better than The Simpsons” talk
53. The way she looks in a knit cap
54. The extreme diversity of her friends
55. The way is takes about 15 minutes to become her lifelong friend
56. The fact she has not poisoned our dog or cat yet
57. Her untapped, underutilized and yet remarkable design aesthetic
58. Her camera-ready-but-still-natural-looking smile
59. The way she sneezes multiple times, every time
60. Her willingness to eat ice cream for dinner
61. Any cookie or cake that she has ever baked
62. Watching her dance. I repeat because it is my favorite thing
63. She is in the black in career winnings in poker
64. The way she wept when upon receiving news of my first book deal
65. Her love for a Patriots game on a fall afternoon
66. The way she weeps uncontrollably during year-end school speeches
67. The way everyone seems to love her almost as much as I do
68. Her universal and unfailing support of me
69. The way she has never made me feel guilty about being away from home
70. Those moments in life when she is uncommonly proud of me
71. Falling asleep on my shoulder at the drive-in
72. Her unwarranted confidence in almost everything I do
73. Her love and attachment to yet independence from her parents
74. Her rejection of senseless tradition
75. Her tears on our wedding day
76. The way she stretches in the morning as she wakes up
77. The way she looked on the beaches of Bermuda
78. Her lack of investment in trends and name brands
79. Her embrace and love of Christmas
80. The way her former students still love her years later
81. The way she sings to our children at night
82. The way she barely grips the toothbrush while brushing her teeth
83. The way she speaks to our children the same way she speaks to adults
84. Her unwavering defense of my quirks and eccentricities
85. Her genuinely violent yet laughter-filled response to tickling
86. The way she walks when she is tipsy
87. Her grudging acceptance of my last name
88. The way every wedding I attend makes we want to marry her again
89. Her unparalleled, unjustified acceptance of me in every way
90. The inexplicable pleasure she feels in bathing our children
91. The fact that we have never had an actual fight
92. Her talent for filling stockings with perfect presents at Christmastime
93. The way she dances with our children in the kitchen
94. The affection she feels for her own childhood
95. The way she folds a shirt
96. Her reference to me as a “manly hunk of man meat”
97. The frequency at which she changes her order in a restaurant
98. Her rejection and abhorrence of snobbery in every way
99. Agreeing to marry me on the steps of Grand Central Terminal
