Face down! All of you!

Note the position of the babies (and the pig)  in my daughter’s crib.

Every single one of them is face down. This, in my daughter's mind, is the only way that anyone should sleep. Dolls. Stuffed animals. Even people. When I pretend to sleep, she rolls me over until I am suffocating on my pillow.

She doesn’t sleep face down anymore, but I don’t think she’s aware of this. 

It’s a little creepy walking into my daughter’s bedroom in the morning and finding five babies and a pig all face down in the corner as if they're in the midst of a bank heist.

Even worse, I recently read that your dreams may be influenced by the position in which you sleep. One study found sleeping face down led to more erotic dreams.

I think I prefer the image of the bank heist.