I’m a grown man and I still want to peek into the girl’s locker room. But not for the reasons you might be imagining.

There are three televisions in the men’s locker room at my gym. They are  tuned to ESPN and CNBC at all times without exception. I assume that there are televisions in the women’s locker room, too.

If so, what stations are those televisions tuned to?

I really want to know.

The men’s room has three urinals and three stalls. Six toileting facilities in all. Did the designers of the gym make room for at least six stalls in the woman’s locker room, or is there in an inequity of toilets between the locker rooms?

I really want to know.

The men’s locker room has two hair dryers with adjacent mirrors. I have never seen either hair dryer being used. Does the women’s locker room have only two hair dryers as well, and if so, is there ever been a line for the hair dryers?

I really want to know.

Is the percentage of men and women who shower after a workout the same? Showering (and the minutia that follows) tends to be a more complicated and involved process for a woman than a man. Does this mean that women are more likely to go home to shower following a workout, in order to have access to their various gels and tonics and hair sculpting devices? And if so, do locker room designers factor in this difference in locker room usage when deciding upon the number of shower stalls and overall square footage of the space?

Are the shower stall doors made of clear glass, as they are in the men’s room, or are the women’s glass doors frosted? In my high school, boys showered in one large room with two dozen spigots spaced along the walls, whereas the girl’s had individual shower stalls with curtains. Is this design aesthetic mimicked in adult locker rooms as well?

It should be noted that I never actually saw the interior of the girl’s locker room in my high school (though I still want to). My girlfriend, Laura, described it in great detail after much prodding on my part.

Does the amount of flesh that a man and woman can acceptably expose in a public space change locker room behavior?

While there are plenty of men (and probably women) who have no qualms about walking around the locker room completely naked, many men keep a towel wrapped around their waist for the majority of the time, either in deference to discretion or for the benefit of their locker room compatriots.

Are similarly discreet women less likely to shower in the locker room because of the increased amount of flesh that must be kept covered in order to remain discreet?

And is there a difference between a woman’s naked top versus naked bottom? Are woman more likely to expose their breasts in a  locker room than their genitals? Does one half require less discretion than another?

Yes, I’m a grown man and I still want to peek into the girl’s locker room.