Douchebags Make it Douchy For Non-Douchebags to Wear Watches

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The New York Times published a piece this weekend on watches entitled Watches Are Rediscovered by the Cellphone Generation image

Excerpts from the piece reads:

But after going watch-free for much of the last decade, the three men — all in their 30s and considered style influencers — are turning back time. Mr. Thoreson, 38, is shopping for a vintage gold IWC with a white dial or a Rolex GMT-Master. Mr. Chai, 38, has been wearing a vintage Rolex, loosely dangling around his wrist, “not as a timepiece, but as a piece of jewelry,” he said.

And Mr. Williams, 32, splurged on three watches: an IWC Portuguese, a Rolex GMT-Master II and an Omega Speedmaster, also known as the “moon watch,” since that is what Apollo astronauts wore.

“The men’s-wear set has recently rediscovered the joy of proper mechanical timepieces,” Mr. Williams said. “Right now there is no clearer indication of cool than wearing a watch. If it was your grandfather’s bubbleback Rolex, even better.”

"It’s an understated statement about your station in life, your taste level,” Mr. Thoreson said.

“In certain circles,” Mr. Thoreson said, “if you don’t have a substantial timepiece with some pedigree, you feel like you’re missing out on something.”

In light of these comments and the rest of the story in general. I would like to propose some alternative titles that are perhaps a little more fitting.

  • Douchbaggery Reaches the Wrist
  • Bowling for Soup Was Right: High School Never Ends
  • Newly Un-datable Men Find Materialistic Joy in Watches
  • Social Suicide in The New York Times Style Section
  • Men With Small Penises Get Nostalgic In Search For Compensatory Strategies
  • Old-School Accessories for Men Who Can’t Strap their Mercedes to their Wrists
  • Little Boys with Fancy Toys
  • Douchebags Make it Douchy For Non-Douchebags to Wear Watches