There is only one appropriate and respectful time to host a toddler’s birthday party and to say otherwise is just stupid and poopy

Blessed be the parents who schedule their toddlers birthday party for 10:00 AM on a Saturday morning.

There are so many good things about this decision, most specifically the respectful acknowledgement of the value of a day off.

Want to play golf in the morning?

No problem. Squeeze in 9 holes before you come over. There’s no need to even be on time. This is a toddler’s birthday party. Arrive at 11:00 and leave around noon. Your kid will never know the difference.

Want to preserve the majority of the day for yourself?

Great. Stop by around 10:00 and leave before noon. You still have the better part of the day to yourself, including the entire afternoon, and we’ve even sent you off with lunch in your bellies.

Your toddler is still napping regularly?

Good for you. Drop by for a couple hours, eat some cake and then bring your now-exhausted child home for a nap, probably right around his or her regular naptime.

Genius.

I’m not a fan of any toddler birthday party, and I generally try to avoid them at all costs.

But after experiencing the 10:00 AM birthday party firsthand last weekend, I can assure you that it is the only way to go.

It makes the toddler birthday party almost enjoyable.

What’s the worst time for a toddler’s birthday party?

Any time other than 10:00 AM.

Noon? You probably ruined somebody’s afternoon nap, and by the time we leave, we’ve lost the better part of the afternoon.

2:00? You’ve now stolen the best part of the day, and you’re still probably ruining someone’s nap.

4:00? Now we’re eating an early dinner with a dozen screaming, slightly poop smelling toddlers.

6:00? So much for any Saturday night plans.

10:00 AM people. Seriously. Anything else is just plain selfish and rude.