Elysha on social media

My wife, Elysha, is clever and funny. Legitimately so.

It might be her most attractive quality.

Actually, her most attractive quality is probably the way she dances. She and I danced in the kitchen two nights ago while she was cooking dinner, and it might’ve been my favorite moment so far in 2020.

Sorry you missed it.

Still, she’s quite clever and funny, and I adore this about her.

She’s especially amusing and occasionally biting on social media - brilliantly so - but since she doesn’t use Twitter or Instagram, nor does she friend just anyone on Facebook, the world is not privy to her online humor, wit, and occasionally sharp criticism.

So over the last two weeks, I’ve collected some of her comments on Facebook, and I offer them, along with associated photographs, here, for your enjoyment.

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I just taught Clara the phrase “tough titties,” so things are effectively devolving around here.

Listening to Hamilton and feeling pretty inferior. Eliza Hamilton was teaching her kids piano and French, and also apparently how to rap. I am baking cookies and ignoring my children.

It occurred to me this evening that our current situation has, for now, eliminated my anxiety about mass shootings and school shootings. I think it's a pretty sad state of things in this country that it takes a pandemic to feel safe from being shot.

Indoctrinating Clara into my two religions: Judaism and Foodieism.

New pandemic level unlocked: At home haircut.

From your teacher friend, me: A great reminder about what’s important right now. This needs to be our collective mantra. And I think it’s worth adding that we need to remember to show ourselves this grace, as well. H/T to our awesome school psychologist, Cora Sharp Fuss, for sharing this tonight.

We are on a hike up Mount Carmel. One thing that is very apparent is that I’m not physically fit enough for an apocalypse.

I’m hoping this doesn’t apply to any of you, but if the term “Chinese Virus” seems ok to you in any way, please unfriend me right now. On Facebook and also in real life. (Once real life begins again.)

The dogs of America are really coming out ahead.

After 17 days of nonstop research I can say without reservation that there is nothing louder than a 7 year old boy who has been cooped up at home. Good thing he's cute.

Matthew Dicks and I brought home lots of resources from our classrooms to keep Clara and Charlie busy while we hunker down. I brought math games. He brought this:

For the record, I stand by my choice of The Donner Party. Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it, and I don’t think getting trapped in the frozen wilderness and being forced to dine on deceased companions should be anything someone should be forced to do again.