My wife kissed a strange man in exchange for fruit and alcohol

Elysha and I spent Sunday at the Patriots game, a glorious 38-24 defeat over the Cincinnati Bengals that featured a kickoff return for a touchdown and an interception returned for a touchdown. A great way to start the season.

While tailgating, we were approached by a large man with a container full of strawberries soaking in grape-flavored stoli. He shared a strawberry with my friend, Shep and his father and his cousin-in-law, but he demanded a kiss from my wife before he would agree to give her one.

She complied with a peck on the cheek.

I was feeling uncertain about her decision, especially in light of how quickly she agreed, but then the man donned his costume, and I learned that he has been featured in LIFE magazine twice as the greatest of all Patriot fans.

I recognized him immediately.

And just like that, the man possessed a lot more credibility and the peck on the cheek didn’t seem like such a big deal.