Call my mom? It’s 1993. Do you want me to use your landline, since there are no mobile phones?
Besides, your pretentiously nostalgic coffee shop is also littered with dirty ashtrays and blurred in a haze of cigarette smoke, since smoking in public establishments is still legal in 1993.
And you’re probably playing The Spin Doctors and the soundtrack from The Bodyguard.
I’m not going in there.