The survivors are more menacing than the zombies

I spent the night battling zombies again in a zombie apocalypse nightmare. Nothing about these end-of-world dreams is fun, but the three most disturbing things aspects of these dreams have nothing to do with the actual zombies. It’s the behavior of my friends and comrades that I find most disturbing.

Specifically:

1. The amount of time I spend trying to convince people that a lifetime of fleeing from the ever-growing zombie horde is still better than a quick and painless death.

2. The number of times that I am forced to leave friends and family member behind because they are too slow or too concerned with gathering their belongings.

Last night I had to drag my sister-in-law out of her apartment, explaining as I did that the world as we knew it was ending and the need for photo albums and moisturizers was going to be questionable at best on a zombie-infested planet.

3. The number of people who waste their own life trying to save someone who is clearly doomed. It’s as if these people have no innate sense of probability and statistics. They are constantly running back into zombie-filled buildings on the one-in-a-nothing chance that their friend, sibling or spouse has not already been devoured by the zombie horde.

If the zombie apocalypse ever arrives, follow my lead.