New Year's resolutions: 2020
/At the beginning of every year I establish a list of goals (or New Year's resolutions) for the coming calendar year. I post this list on my blog and social media as a means of holding myself accountable.
I recommend this to everyone. I've been engaged in this process since 2010, and I am convinced that I have been more productive and more successful as a result, even though my average goal completion rate stands at about 55%.
I've learned that setting exceptionally high goals and accepting inevitable failure are critical to achievement.
An unexpected side benefit has been the occasional assistance of readers in completing some of my goals, through advice, recommendations, and sometimes even direct intervention. Last year the amazing Kathryn Gonnerman turned the blog that I had written to my children for the first six years of their existence into six enormous, beautiful tomes that my kids are reading constantly.
She knocked one of my goals right off my list.
People are exceptionally kind, and I never turn down an offer of assistance.
Equally unexpected is the interest in these blog posts on my yearly goals and monthly updates. I often feel like updating my progress each month is the least interesting thing I write, but apparently there are readers out there who disagree. They are some of my most-read posts.
Below is my list of 50 goals for 2020. I’ve never set as many goals before. Also, I hate that the number is 50. I don’t trust lists constructed of round, convenient numbers. I always assume that an item was added or left off the list in order to achieve the convenient number.
Not the case here. In fact, the last thing I did with my list was number each item, so I didn’t know that I had set 50 goals until I finished the list.
I always reserve the right to add to or edit a goal on the list through the month of January.
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PERSONAL FITNESS
1. Don’t die.
Recommended by a friend years ago. Still valid today and deserving of the first spot on the list.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
I tried to lose 20 pounds in 2016 but only lost 8.
I tried to lose 20 points in 2017 but only lost 6.
I tried to lose 20 pounds in 2018 but only lost 6.
I tried to lose 20 pounds and only lost 7.
Since my first weight goal back in 2010, I've lost a total of 66 pounds. Another 20 is ambitious, but it would get me down to my high school weight. I’m willing to try to make that happen.
3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.
Readers and friends proposed this goal to me two years ago more than any other. I increased my vegetable and fruit consumption considerably in 2018, and in 2019, I managed to eat three servings of fruits and vegetables almost every day.
I’m repeating the goal in 2020. Hopefully with fewer potatoes.
4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.
I’ve accomplished this goal for seven years in a row, but it’s not exactly automatic (because it’s still hard and oftentimes a pain in the ass), so it remains on the list.
5. Set a new personal best in golf.
I have failed to achieve this goal for three straight years, but I am undeterred.
My lowest score for nine holes is a 45, and my lowest score for 18 holes is 95. I’d like to improve on either score in 2020.
WRITING CAREER
6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2020.
This is a failed goal from 2019 that I am renewing in 2020. But good news! I made a break through this week. The book is finally on a roll.
7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.
I wrote three picture books in 2015.
I wrote another three in 2016.
I started but did not finish four picture books in 2017.
Those four books, plus two more, remained unfinished in 2018.
All six books remained unfinished in 2019.
Worst of all, I haven't sold any of them.
My goal for 2020 is to finish the year with five newly completed picture books. This can include books that I began in 2017, 2018, and 2019 but didn't finish and/or brand new ones.
At least one must feature a non-white, non-male protagonist.
8. Write a memoir.
Rather than writing a proposal for a memoir, my agent and I decided in 2018 that it would best if I simply wrote the book, so that process has begun. I plan to complete the memoir by the end of 2020.
9. Write a new screenplay.
I failed to write a screenplay for the last four years after after writing my first in 2015. I started a new one in 2019 but it’s not close to completion. I intend to finish it in 2020.
10. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
A completed goal from 2017 and 2018, but one that I failed to complete in 2019. I’m repeating it in 2020.
My dream goal remains to land another column in a magazine, newspaper, or online publication this year, but I’m keeping this goal more reasonable. Write and submit and then hope for the best.
11. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.
A completed goal from 2017 and 2018 but one that I failed to complete in 2019. I’m repeating it in 2020. This may or may not include me writing a new short story.
12. Select two behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.
In 2016, I wrote about backing into parking spots, daily affirmations, and bottle flipping.
In 2017, I wrote about prayer, cold showers, and talking to strangers.
In 2018, I wrote about following pop culture and saying grace before a meal.
In 2019, I wrote about vision boards and biofeedback.
I've actually adopted two of these behaviors (cold showers and biofeedback) and realized that I was already doing another (talking to strangers). Creating a vision board even proved to be slightly useful.
Though my opinion of most of these activities didn't change, it was a useful experiment each time, so I'll repeat this in 2020.
13. Increase my newsletter subscriber base to 5,000.
I currently have about 3,935 subscribers to my newsletter.
Growth rates in my newsletter over the past four years have been:
2016: 29%
2017: 25%
2018: 68%
2019: 39%
If I grow the list by another 27% in 2020. I will hit my goal of 5,000 subscribers. A very reasonable goal.
If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:
14. Write at least six letters to my father.
I completed this goal in 2017 and 2018 but failed to complete it in 2019.
I’m repeating this goal in 2020.
My father and I have been writing sporadic letters to each other since 2013. Since we speak little, it's been a great way to get to know a man who disappeared from much of my life at the age of eight. I intend to write to him every other month with the hope that he will write to me on my off months.
15. Write 100 letters in 2020.
I wrote 61 letters in 2018 and just 28 letters in 2019, failing to hit my goal of 100 each time, but I’m setting 100 as the goal again. The plan is to write a letter (paper, envelope, and stamp) every three days or so, to students, colleagues, friends, family, and anyone else who is deserving of praise, gratitude, recognition, scathing retribution, or the like.
It's a way of making a day a little brighter for another person that appeals to me a lot. The results in some cases have been extraordinary.
I can’t recommend this enough.
16. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
On the heels of Kathryn Gonnerman’s remarkable work in transforming my blog, Greetings Little One, into the book, I plan to do the same to “365 Days of Elysha.”
Back in 2015, I wrote down one lovely observation about Elysha every day for a year, and I presented her with this Word document on our anniversary.
A Word document is nice, but it wasn’t exactly romantic.
I’d like to have this project turned into a book as well. I suspect that converting a Word document into a book will be decidedly easier.
17. Complete and release my limited episode podcast on “Twenty-One Truths About Love.”
The podcast is nearly complete. Episodes with my editor, the cover designer, and more are ready to go. I need to record the first episode with Elysha and finish editing the last one and it will be ready to launch.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
18. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.
Since we launched Speak up back in 2013, we have produced a total of 87 shows.
2013: 3
2014: 8
2015: 12
2016: 17
2017: 17
2018: 13
2019: 17
We will likely produce more than 12 shows in 2020, but 10 seems like a reasonable number considering all that we do.
19. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
I’ve had some bad luck in terms of TED Talks.
I did a TED Talk at the AT&T Conference Center in 2013 that went extremely well, but technical difficulties made the audio on the recording almost indiscernible.
I did a TED Talk at Western Connecticut State University in 2013 that went flawlessly, but the college students who hosted the conference never posted the recording online.
I did a TED Talk in April of 2014 in Somerville, Massachusetts that also went well, but my 15 minute talk was accidentally put on a nine minute timer, which forced me to dump sections of my talk on the fly and speak faster than I would’ve liked. The talk was good, but it was not exactly what I had planned. There was room for improvement.
I did a TED Talk at Boston University in April of 2015. The recording started almost two minutes into my talk, and one of the cameras failed. The actual talk went well but the recording is useless. Again, I'd like to repeat this talk at some point for TED.
But I’ve had some good luck as well.
I did a TED Talk in November of 2015 in the Berkshires that went very well and has been viewed more than 25,000 times. Huzzah!
I did a TED Talk in January of 2016 in Natick, MA that also went very well and has been viewed more than 15,000 times. Huzzah!
I did a TED Talk in April of 2016 at The Country School in Madison, CT, repeating that first TED Talk that didn't get recorded well in 2013. I had to hold a microphone, which complicated things a bit, and there was no timer, so I had to rush in fear of going long. It’s been viewed about 25,000 times, but I'm still not entirely satisfied with the talk. I'd like to repeat it again under optimal circumstances.
I did a TED Talk in May of 2017 at the Pomfret School. Again, I had a handheld mic and no timer. Still, I thought it went well, but the actual camera work is not great, and it’s only been viewed about 500 times.
I’ll be speaking at a TEDx conference in April of 2020 already.
I have several talk ideas that I’ll be pitching in 2020
20. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
My Moth attendance ever since attending my first Moth StorySLAM in 2011 has been:
2011: 4
2012: 9
2013: 19
2014: 19
2015: 31
2016: 31
2017: 20
2018: 15
2019: 22
Note that this represents the number of times I attended a Moth event, including StorySLAMs, GrandSLAMs, Main Stage performances, The Moth Ball, and more. It does not represent the number of times I’ve actually performed.
Sadly, my name does not always get drawn from the hat.
As opportunities to speak and perform at other venues for a variety of organizations have increased, the time I’ve had to dedicate to Moth events has decreased, even though they remain my favorite shows in the world.
Give me a Moth StorySLAM any day.
Attending 15 Moth events in 2020 is a reasonable goal, I hope.
21. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.
Three wins always feels ambitious, but since 2011, I've won 49% of the Moth StorySLAMs that I’ve competed in, and that percentage has remained fairly steady over the years.
If I compete in at least 10 StorySLAMs in 2019, I should be able to win at least three based upon previous percentages. This goal depends upon the decisions of others (which I try to avoid when setting goals), but competing in StorySLAMs just isn't enough to justify the goal.
I need to win.
22. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
I won one GrandSLAM in 2014.
I won two GrandSLAMs in 2015.
I won one GrandSLAM in 2016.
I failed to win a GrandSLAM in 2017.
I won two GrandSLAMs in 2018.
I failed to win a GrandSLAM in 2019.
Overall, I’ve won 6 GrandSLAMs in 26 attempts for a 23% win rate.
Much harder to win a GrandSLAM with all of those annoyingly excellent storytellers, not to mention the three times I was defeated by stories that I helped find and craft.
Arming my competition. A terrible strategy.
This goal also depends upon the decisions of others, but competing in a Moth GrandSLAM is a forgone conclusion (I’m competing in one next month) and just isn't enough to justify the goal.
Once again, I need to win.
23. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
Elysha and I produced 30 episodes in 2018 and 44 episodes in 2019. Now that we have alternative formats for weeks when Elysha is too busy to record, 40 episodes in 2020 seems doable.
24. Begin providing transcriptions of each episode of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast.
I’ve become aware of several free and low cost transcription services, which would make our podcast both accessible to the hearing impaired and highly searchable. I’m not sure which service is best or where to make these transcriptions available, but I will spend a portion of 2020 doing so.
25. Explore the monetization of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast.
It’s time. With a growing audience and tens of thousands of downloads each month, it’s time to make some money off our podcast, either by embedding ads, joining a network, or creating a premium model that offers additional content.
I’ll spend a portion of 2020 exploring the possibilities and deciding if it’s worth the effort.
26. Perform stand up at least six times in 2020.
I performed stand up six times in 2018 and four times in 2019. I’d like to get up at least six more times in 2020.
27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.
I had a story on This American Life in May of 2014. Since then, I’ve occasionally pitched stories to someone I know who works for the show. In 2020 I want to make a more concerted effort to pitch stories to this show that I adore.
28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
When I list possible publicity opportunities for my publicist, Marc Maron’s WTF was top of the list. I’ve been listening since his first episode, and I would love to have a conversation with him. I’ve pitched myself to him before, including four times last year, and I’ll do it again, at least three times, in 2020.
29. Produce at least one new video for my YouTube channel each month.
In an effort to reach and expand my YouTube audience, I plan to provide new content at least once every month. This can be in the form of a new story, some new instructional material, or an interview with a storyteller.
30. Find a means of producing my storytelling instruction for an online platform.
It’s time. With my book published and the podcast gaining steam, it’s time for me to create an online platform for instruction. I have people from China and Canada and San Diego and Chicago coming to Hartford to take my workshops, and while this is flattering, there are many more who can’t make the trip but want the opportunity to learn from me. Not only would this accommodate these people, but it would allow me to scale my instruction beyond my workshops.
HOME
31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.
We have a pile of photos, prints, art, and creations of our children just waiting to be hung on our walls and displayed on our shelves. Part of our delay has been the plan to paint our walls, but that waiting is about to be over. Painting commences next week.
By the end of the year, I intend on having at least 25 of these photos, prints, and art displayed in our home.
32. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.
A failed goal from 2012, 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019 that I am continuing to pursue because these windows are making me crazy.
33. Clear the basement.
Last year I successfully cleaned this basement. In 2020 I will clear the basement of all the furniture and boxes of stuff that we no longer want or need.
34. Refinish the hardwood floors.
We had our hardwood floors refinished when we moved into our home a decade ago. It’s time to refinish them again.
35. Purchase a new television.
I know this seems silly, but the last television that I purchased was a mammoth rear-projection TV in 2002. Since then, we have been surviving on hand-me-down televisions from my friend, Shep, and that worked just fine. We barely watch any television, so second-hand TV’s were great. But the time has come. We need a TV that can stream Disney+. We need a TV that can be mounted on the wall. Most important, we deserve a new TV after 17 years of older technology.
FAMILY/FRIENDS
36. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
As I scanned through my photos on a recent plane ride to Indiana, I noticed the decline in photos taken of the kids over the years. This is only natural. When a child is born, photos are taken every nine seconds, but as time passes, this burst of photography subsides a bit. But lately, photos have only been taken when an event is taking place, and I want to be sure that I’m capturing the days between the parties and vacations and trips to the beach.
One photo per day, every day when I see the kids, in 2020 is the goal.
37. Take at least one photo with Elysha and myself each week.
Even worse than the decline in photos of the kids are the rarity of photos of just Elysha and me. We need to rectify this as well, so at least once per week, I will take a photograph of just the two of us.
38. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2020.
A failed goal from 2017, 2018, and 2019 that I will attempt again in 2020.
39. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2020.
I haven't put my kids on their bikes often enough. Part of this has to do with Charlie's age, but after watching my brother get hit by a car while riding his bike as a kid (and being partially responsible for the accident), I've always been nervous about riding with other people. I don't worry about my own safety, but I worry constantly about the safety of others.
In 2018, I changed this by getting my kids on their bikes with me 27 times over the course of the year. They started to get very comfortable and excited about riding. We continued riding last year, and in 2020, I hope to finally get them off their damn training wheels and off our street and into the world.
40. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
My friend, Bengi, and I lived in a home that became known as the Heavy Metal Playhouse from 1989-1993. It was four of the best years of my life. Enormous parties, the closest of friendships, and the wildness of youth left an indelible mark on me. While I stay in touch with many of my friends from those days, I have not seen many of them in a long time. We have attempted to plan a reunion in the past without success.
In 2016, I tried to plan a reunion but was unable to secure a venue.
In 2017, I tried to plan a reunion but was unable to secure a venue.
In 2018, I didn’t even try to secure a venue.
In 2019, I secured a venue, set a date, and for a moment, had a commitment from enough people to proceed. Then fokks found themselves unable to attend, and I had to postponed the reunion.
I'd really like to make this happen in 2020.
41. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2017 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
In 2016, I avoided all negative comments related to a person's physical appearance.
In 2017 I avoided all comments, both positive and negative, about the physical appearance of any person save my wife, children, and in-laws in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
I achieved this goal, and by writing about it, I’ve convinced at least a 14 other people to adopt the policy as well.
For this reason, I will repeat this goal in 2020, even though it's now simply become something I do.
42. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2020.
A completed goal from the last three years that I will repeat in 2020.
43. Play poker at least six times in 2020.
This is a goal that I’ve failed to complete for the last two years, which is ridiculous.
I love poker. I paid for our honeymoon with profits from poker. I made a mortgage payment in 2012 with poker profits. I am a very good poker player who stopped playing regularly in 2015 as I shifted my time to writing and storytelling.
I missed poker a great deal. Six games in 2020 is not an unreasonable goal even though I failed to achieve this goal last year.
44. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
Bengi and I met in a Milford, MA McDonald's back in 1987, and we have been friends ever since. We once lived together (in the aforementioned Heavy Metal Playhouse) and started our DJ business together back in 1996. We have been through a great deal together, but in the last few years, we have seen less of each other even though we live 15 minutes apart. Our interests have shifted away from the things each likes to do, and our families are demanding more of our time, but that's no excuse for not getting together more often.
Six days is more than reasonable.
NEW PROJECTS
45. Understand Instagram better.
I can post photos to Instagram, but that is the extent of my understanding of Instagram.
Instagram stories? I have no idea what they are nor what I might do with them.
Video on Instagram? Is that a thing I should think of doing?
Followers? I have about a thousand followers but have made absolutely no effort to attract any, nor do I know how to attract them.
Even the messages and mentions on Instagram confuse me.
As this platform begins to dominate social media, I need to understand it better. Use it more effectively. I plan on devoting time to this in 2020.
46. Listen to new music via the Billboard Hot 100 Spotify playlist at least four times per month.
Research shows that the music we love from the ages of 16-23 tends to be the music we love most for the rest of our lives. I understand this, but at the same time, I want to hear new music. I’d like to recognize the musicians who appear on Saturday Night Live or the songs my daughter likes. I’m hoping this will increase my awareness of pop music today and perhaps introduce me to new songs that I like.
47. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.
I was inspired by the New York Times story of Carolyn Kenyon and Judith Jones, both of Ithaca, NY, who raised $12,500 and sent it to the debt-forgiveness charity RIP Medical Debt, which then purchased a portfolio of $1.5 million of medical debts on their behalf. As a result, 1,284 New Yorkers were freed over their medical debt.
I love the idea of leveraging pennies on the dollar for an incredible cause, so I intend on doing the same in 2020. I’m not sure how I’ll raise the money yet, but I look forward to exploring options.
48. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
Back in 1988, I was 17 year-old Boy Scout preparing to complete my Eagle Scout service project so I could earn the rank that I had dreamed about for most of my childhood. In truth, I was qualified to earn my Eagle rank almost two years before, having earned the required merit badges and more, but my service project had been sitting on the back burner, waiting to be completed.
I needed a parent or two to light a fire under my butt and support me in this endeavor, but I wasn’t graced with that level of parental involvement at the time.
My plan was to plant trees in a cemetery in my hometown of Blackstone, MA. My troop had planted trees in that same cemetery about five year before, but those trees had died. I wanted to replace them and complete the work that we had originally promised.
Then, on December 23, 1988, I was in a car accident that nearly killed me. As a result of the accident, I was in a full-length leg cast for three months and required an enormous amount of healing and recovery. With just three months left until I turned 18 (the deadline to complete an Eagle service project), my parents requested an extension, and it was denied.
My childhood dream of becoming an Eagle Scout was over. It’s one of my life’s greatest regrets.
Maybe the greatest.
But I recently decided that it would be good to complete that Eagle Scout project even though it won’t come with my much desire Eagle Scout rank.
It feels right. Maybe I’ll feel a little better about the past.
I planned on doing this in 2019 but failed to do anything to achieve this goal. It will be a goal again in 2020.
49. Scan and send photos of Laura to her daughters.
Before she died, my high school sweetheart, Laura, made me promise that I would tell her daughters the stories of our time together in high school when they are old enough to hear. Part of this process is taking the photos of Laura that I have in my photo albums and scanning them for her daughters.
Receiving never-before-seen photos of their mother would probably mean a lot to those girls.
I plan on doing so in 2020.
50. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
