I split my pants EIGHT YEARS AGO. Strangers are still talking about it.

Not surprising: My wife knew the people sitting behind us at dinner last night. She’s knows everyone.

Surprising: One of the women in the party asked if I was the elementary school teacher who once split his pants in front of his class.

Surprising because the splitting of my pants in front of my class happened eight years ago when I attempted to stand atop a student’s desk to make a point. I raised and planted by first foot on the desk top with relative ease but heard the unholy sound of tearing fabric as I attempted to propel my other leg forward.

That was eight years ago, and the moment wasn’t publicized in the local newspaper and did not appear on the evening news.

Word just got around.

I shudder to think what other stories might be alive and well in the general public.