I have a lot of jobs. I have a lot of jobs that I still want. And I have a lot of occupations that I wish to pursue. Here is my 2014 list.

I wear many hats. I do many things. I collect many occupations. At the moment, my list of jobs for which I am paid include:

  • teacher
  • tutor
  • author
  • wedding DJ
  • minister
  • public speaker

In 2013 I was also paid to serve as a life coach, though I am currently without clients.

Despite my large number of jobs, I always have my eyes on future careers. Perhaps prolonged periods of poverty have caused me to keep as many options open as possible in the event of economic disaster.

Maybe I simply have a variety of interests. Or I’m incapable of saying no.

Three of these possible future careers (that I’ve written about before and am still seeking) include:

  1. Professional best man
  2. Double date companion
  3. Grave site visitor

Potential clients have actually attempted to hire me twice as a professional best man, but both times, distance prevented me from taking the job. One offer was from London, and the other was from San Francisco.

I’m still hoping to find a local client someday.

As 2014 approaches, I have decided to add two more jobs to the list of those that I am currently (if not actively) seeking:

1. Productivity consultant

Here is my dream:

Hire me for a two week period to improve your work or home life productivity. Based upon my experience and success with my own personal productivity and my lifelong commitment (and possible obsession) with doing more in less time, I believe that I am highly qualified to help any client who has an open mind and is willing to make changes in his or her life in the spirit of efficiency and time management.

During the first week of the two week period, I would follow my client through their day as a silent observer, noting responsibilities, routines, barriers to productivity and choices being made that assist or hinder a client’s personal productivity.

Based upon these observations, I would design a plan of improved productivity, and during the second week, I would follow my client through his or her day again, implementing the plan. This would include building routines into the day to save time, prioritizing tasks based upon long-term outcomes, highlighting moments of inefficiency and suggesting changes in the choices being made that will ultimately lead to increased productivity.


I believe that this training would be effective for everyone from corporate executives to teachers to salespeople to stay-at-home parents. I also believe it would be highly effective for both individuals as well as larger organizations.

I could save people a lot of time.

2. Public speaking coach

This idea has been suggested to me by a number of people, and by one person in particular a number of times.

Here’s one example of how this would work:

In today’s competitive, oversaturated publishing world, authors need every advantage possible in order to connect with readers and build their platform. Part of this process often includes public appearances, but far too often I attend a reading and watch an author fail to connect with the audience, or worse, alienate or bore the audience altogether.

I believe that if given the time (and not all that much of it), I could convert an author who is shy, inexperienced, off-putting or an ineffective speaker into one who is entertaining and endearing to his or her audiences, primarily through the use of story. Earlier this year I wrote a piece for the Huffington Post about differentiating the speaking that authors do into into four distinct categories: The signing, the reading, the book talk and the author talk.

In my role as public speaking coach, I would be training authors to deliver author talks, which I believe are exceptionally effective at building a loyal base of readers. I would essentially be teaching storytelling, but I would also be teaching the ways in which storytelling can be used to begin an athor talk, recommend a book, transition into another section of the talk or answer a reader’s question.


I believe that this type of training would be effective and helpful for many kinds of professionals, including salespeople, educators, business leaders and anyone who relies on clear, effective, meaningful communication in order to be successful in their job.

But I’m willing to start with authors, because they give us books to read, and they deserve to be read more often.

They are my people.

In terms of other jobs on the horizon, I recently read about a company in France that offers designer kidnapping and similar services for thrill seekers:

For £1,000, customers of Ultime Réalité, a company in Besançon, eastern France, can buy a basic abduction package in which they are seized by strangers, bundled into a car bound and gagged, and kept in a dank cellar for four hours.

If that sounds too tame, boat chases and helicopter escapes can be added to the tailor-made experience, and customers kept for longer periods, depending on the budget.

Customers explain exactly what they want and once the scenario is established, they sign a contract and liability waiver, but have no idea exactly when or where their abductors will strike.

"We follow you for a few days. At an opportune moment, in the street or elsewhere, we kidnap you," the contract stipulates.

While I’m not ready to commit to anything yet, this concept upon which this company is founded has given me some ideas that I will continue to think about in the coming year.


In addition to these jobs, I also have a list of more formal, time consuming occupations that I would like to pursue at some point in my life, perhaps when I decide to leave teaching someday. This list includes:

  • Behavioral economist
  • Bookstore owner
  • Camp director
  • College professor
  • Financial analyst
  • Firefighter
  • Inspirational speaker
  • Professional poker player
  • Sociologist
  • Therapist

My wife is not pleased with my desire to become a firefighter, so that may never happen. She would, however, like to own a bookstore someday, and we have discussed our vision many times, so perhaps this is more likely (and financially disastrous).

I’ve also done some inspirational speaking over the past couple years, but I’ve never been paid to do so, and there was a time when the profits from my poker playing may have qualified me a a professional, but my books have kept me from playing seriously for at least a few years.

I’ve also debated about the necessity of formal training in order to become a therapist (I think I would be excellent in this role) and sociologist, and I’ve even partnered with an actual sociologist to write a book in hopes of working in the field and exploring my interests without needing any credentials.

I have a lot to do.