No murder in my heart

Yesterday, I almost threw away a plastic bag containing labels marked with my daughter’s name. A few days before, I nearly ran a silver knife through the dishwasher.

In both cases, Elysha stopped me, telling me that she “would have killed me” had she not prevented these minor disasters.

But here’s the thing: I cannot recall a single instance in which I felt like I might need to kill her for something she did.

Please don’t get me wrong. I understand that Elysha had no plans on murdering me, but she would have no doubt been annoyed and angry with me for tossing out the labels and ruining the silver knife. But I cannot recall feeling this way a single time during our four-year marriage and seven-year relationship.

Which leads me to believe that one of the following are true:

1. I have a heart of gold, incapable of feelings of anger and outrage over trifles such as labels and knives.

2. I don’t pay enough attention to details and care so little about most material possessions that I fail to notice or do not care when her actions threaten the viability of something important to me.

3. I am simply more prone to acts of stupidity than my wife, and therefore I give her infinitely more cause for these kinds of emotions.

I know which choice I am leaning towards, but I suspect that you are probably leaning in a different direction.