I have a bunch of jobs, and I want a bunch of jobs
/I wear many hats. I do many things. One might think that I collect jobs.
At the moment, my list of jobs for which I am paid for regularly include:
elementary school teacher
author
humor columnist
advice columnist
dramaturge
storyteller
public speaker
producer
podcaster
communications/advertising consultant
storytelling/speaking coach
wedding DJ
minister
life coach
I’ve also been paid to work as a standup comic and film consultant in 2019 and 2020, but not on a regular basis.
Admittedly the list looks quite long, but many of those jobs boil down to two things:
I teach, and I manipulate words.
Despite my large number of jobs, I always have my eyes on future careers. Perhaps prolonged periods of poverty have caused me to keep as many options open as possible in the event of economic disaster.
More likely, I have an enormous number of interests and believe in the power of saying yes.
Three of these possible future careers that I’ve written about before and am still seeking include:
Potential clients have actually attempted to hire me on four separate occasions as a professional best man, but timing and distance have prevented me from taking the job. Three of the jobs landed in the midst of my school year and were from couples on the west coast and London. The fourth was in New Jersey in the middle of my summer vacation, but the groom backed out when his bride found out what he was doing.
She didn’t want a hired gun at her wedding.
I kept my deposit, though, so I made a little money on the deal.
I’m still hoping to find a client someday.
In addition to these jobs, I’ve decided to add two more jobs to the list of those that I am currently (if not actively) seeking:
1. Productivity consultant
Here is my dream:
Hire me for a two week period to improve your work or home life productivity. Based upon my experience and success with my own personal productivity and my lifelong commitment (and possible obsession) with doing more in less time, I believe that I am highly qualified to help any client who has an open mind and is willing to make changes in his or her life in the spirit of efficiency and time management.
During the first week of the two week period, I would follow my client through their day as a silent observer, noting responsibilities, routines, barriers to productivity and choices being made that assist or hinder a client’s personal productivity.
Based upon these observations, I would design a plan of improved productivity, and during the second week, I would follow my client through his or her day again, implementing the plan. This would include building routines into the day to save time, prioritizing tasks based upon long-term outcomes, highlighting moments of inefficiency and suggesting changes in the choices being made that will ultimately lead to increased productivity.
I believe that this training would be effective for everyone from corporate executives to teachers to salespeople to stay-at-home parents. I also believe it would be highly effective for both individuals as well as larger organizations.
I could save people a lot of time.
2. Professional development czar
I have never been foolish enough to accept a position in education outside the classroom. I like working with kids too much, and I am fully aware of the hours and stress dealt with by principals, superintendents, and the like.
No thank you.
Having said that, there is one position that could possibly steal me from the classroom, and that is professional development czar. Specifically, I would like to design and implement all professional development for a school district, and at the same time, coach teachers who are in the first three years of their career.
I believe that professional development in any field (and all education in general) should be entertaining, engaging, and have a clear and immediate impact on performance. I also believe that this is exactly what every professional in the world wants in their professional development.
Yet the number of times I have experienced professional development that meets these three criteria (or even two) is almost none.
I can fix this. And I can do it in four days per week instead of five.
At the same time (and in those same four days), I would also like to coach teachers who are just starting their careers. This is when they are most open to change and feedback. Routines have not yet been hardened. Philosophies have not yet calcified. It’s the time when real change can happen.
I’ve pitched this professional development czar position to several superintendents, and all have said the same thing:
Sounds really great. I don’t have the money.
I get it. The American public continues to skimp on public education and deny children the resources they need, but my response is always the same:
You can’t afford not to hire me.
So far no one has agreed.
In addition to these jobs, I also have a list of more formal, more time consuming occupations that I would like to pursue at some point in my life, perhaps when I decide to leave teaching someday.
This list includes (in no particular order):
Behavioral economist
Bookstore owner
Unlicensed therapist
Camp director
College professor
CEO of Boy Scouts of America
Filmmaker
Newspaper columnist
CEO of Girl Scouts of America
Professional poker player
Hot dog vendor at an MLB stadium
Bartender
Sociologist
Before it became illegal to play poker online, one could argue that I was already working as a professional poker player, earning enough to pay for our honeymoon and more, and if and when it becomes legal again, I suspect that I will return to this profession.
I could start other jobs like newspaper columnist at any time. I’m just waiting for someone to offer me the gig.
I’ve dreamt of becoming an unlicensed therapist for some time. I don’t want to go back to school to become a licensed professional, but I think I would be good enough to attract clients despite the lack of credentials, and at least one therapist who I know agrees and suggested that I hang out a shingle.
I could also begin teaching college classes at some point while still teaching elementary school, but ideally, I’d like to be offered a job as a full-time professor at a school where I would help to prepare teachers for the world that they will face.
Most of are not being prepared properly.
I’m still waiting for someone to come a’calling.
My message in writing this post is a simple one:
I hope you have a variety of interests. I hope you tun out of time before you run out of things that you want to do. The average American will change careers 5-7 times during their working life according to career change statistics.
I’ve been an elementary school teacher for 21 years. I’ve been a wedding DJ for 23 years.
I am an anomaly in today’s world.
Then again, I’ve also managed to launch and build a number of other jobs in that time, so I perhaps I simply fit the statistics in my own special way.
Either way, cultivate new interests. Explore opportunities. Begin building your knowledge and expertise in other ares.
Have lots of things that interest you.
This week’s Moth Radio Hour featured a woman who became a park ranger at the age of 80.
There’s always time to try something new.
