The likelihood that your gossip and behind-the-back cruelty will be exposed, expressed in percentages

If you say something despicable or underhanded behind the back of a family member, there is a 85% chance that your words will find their way into the ears of that family member.

If you say something despicable or underhanded behind the back of a colleague, there is a 75% chance that your words will find their way into the ears of that colleague.

If you say something despicable or underhanded behind the back of a friend, there is a 50% chance that your words will find their way into the ears of your friend.

If your despicable and underhanded comments were made to more than one person, add 2% per person to each of these percentages.

If your despicable and underhanded comments were sent via text or email, add 5% to each of these percentages.

Despite these highly accurate percentages, there is a 95% chance that you don't believe these percentages pertain to you when they most assuredly do.

When you say terrible things behind the backs of others, they find out what you said far more often than you think. Human beings are gossip machines. It is one of the reasons that we survived as a species. We are wired to exchange information as often of possible, in order to increase status, gain trust, trade for new information, solicit advice, and unburden ourselves of difficult-to-keep secrets.  

May I suggest a simple means of avoiding any of this:

Stop speaking negatively about people behind their backs. Be direct. Understand that passive-aggressive, behind-the-back commentary is cowardly, disgusting and never as private as you might think.