Matthew Dicks
Books
Books
Something Missing
Unexpectedly, Milo
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Storyworthy
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Storytelling/Public Speaking
Storytelling
Speak Up
Coaching/Consulting
Podcasts
Appearances
BIO
Contact
Matthew Dicks
Books
/
Books
Something Missing
Unexpectedly, Milo
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Storyworthy
Blog
/
Storytelling/Public Speaking
/
Storytelling
Speak Up
Coaching/Consulting
/
Podcasts
/
Appearances
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BIO
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Matthew Dicks
Grin and Bare It
A blog by Matthew Dicks
Matthew Dicks
Books
/
Books
Something Missing
Unexpectedly, Milo
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Storyworthy
Blog
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Storytelling/Public Speaking
/
Storytelling
Speak Up
Coaching/Consulting
/
Podcasts
/
Appearances
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BIO
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May 17, 2017
Let's do this.
May 17, 2017
/
Matthew Dicks
The Moth: The Robbery
I choose to remember by aunt Diane ...
Books
/
Books
Something Missing
Unexpectedly, Milo
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Storyworthy
Blog
/
Storytelling/Public Speaking
/
Storytelling
Speak Up
Coaching/Consulting
/
Podcasts
/
Appearances
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BIO
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Contact
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Matthew Dicks
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April 2020
Apr 15, 2020
"Blowing smoke" ends today. Please?
Apr 15, 2020
Apr 14, 2020
I do a lot of stupid things. I promise to tell you about all of them.
Apr 14, 2020
Apr 13, 2020
Normal is good but hard to find.
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 13, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling: Strategies for Communicating and Performing Via Video Conferencing Platforms
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 12, 2020
The silver lining in Tom Brady’s departure from New England
Apr 12, 2020
Apr 11, 2020
Beating cancer is great. Bragging about it isn't quite as good.
Apr 11, 2020
Apr 10, 2020
Not so bad after all
Apr 10, 2020
Apr 9, 2020
You don't like sleep
Apr 9, 2020
Apr 8, 2020
The Unpopular Onion Game
Apr 8, 2020
Apr 7, 2020
Never Have I Ever
Apr 7, 2020
Apr 6, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling #92: Monica Malaver
Apr 6, 2020
Apr 6, 2020
Americans need and deserve answers to these questions.
Apr 6, 2020
Apr 5, 2020
Elysha on social media
Apr 5, 2020
Apr 4, 2020
Your meeting or workshop begins with a list of goals? Examine them carefully.
Apr 4, 2020
Apr 3, 2020
Your meeting or workshop begins with a set of norms? Be afraid.
Apr 3, 2020
Apr 2, 2020
Eyes wide open
Apr 2, 2020
Apr 1, 2020
Resolution update: March 2020
Apr 1, 2020
March 2020
Mar 31, 2020
This is what a book should look like
Mar 31, 2020
Mar 30, 2020
The world looks very different atop a bike
Mar 30, 2020
Mar 29, 2020
How "The Goonies" altered my view on life forever
Mar 29, 2020
Mar 28, 2020
The Four Best Gifts
Mar 28, 2020
Mar 27, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling: Tom Moore
Mar 27, 2020
Mar 27, 2020
Let us never forget how we arrived at this moment
Mar 27, 2020
Mar 26, 2020
The Office brings me light on dark days
Mar 26, 2020
Mar 25, 2020
Proud to be a teacher everyday, but in this time, especially
Mar 25, 2020
Mar 24, 2020
You exist because of 15 cents
Mar 24, 2020
Mar 23, 2020
I’m not William Shakespeare or Issac Newton, but I still managed to discover something important
Mar 23, 2020
Mar 22, 2020
Find a way to say thank you
Mar 22, 2020
Mar 21, 2020
The paradox of preparation
Mar 21, 2020
Mar 20, 2020
Now I'm worried about the 7-11 guy?
Mar 20, 2020
Mar 19, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling: Ellen Feldman Ornato
Mar 19, 2020
Mar 18, 2020
What to do with your kids during the pandemic: My advice
Mar 18, 2020
Mar 17, 2020
My mother's death, and the unforgettable gift that two students offered to me.
Mar 17, 2020
Mar 16, 2020
If you're not doing Homework for Life, today is the most important day to start.
Mar 16, 2020
Mar 15, 2020
Why do people use slides in their presentations?
Mar 15, 2020
Mar 14, 2020
My immediate and not-surprising response to time on my hands
Mar 14, 2020
Mar 13, 2020
This is how your federal government has responded to the coronavirus pandemic
Mar 13, 2020
Mar 12, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling: Building a Story ("News of Divorce")
Mar 12, 2020
Mar 11, 2020
I have a bunch of jobs, and I want a bunch of jobs
Mar 11, 2020
Mar 10, 2020
Perfection
Mar 10, 2020
Mar 9, 2020
A man in McDonald’s asks me about Jesus.
Mar 9, 2020
Mar 8, 2020
Colbert drinks alcohol. The audience cheers.
Mar 8, 2020
Mar 7, 2020
Bacon is simple and delicious
Mar 7, 2020
Mar 6, 2020
Of course cinnamon rolls should not be baked in plastic wrap
Mar 6, 2020
Mar 5, 2020
Jerks drive expensive cars
Mar 5, 2020
Mar 4, 2020
The bad storyteller and the admiring spouse
Mar 4, 2020
Mar 3, 2020
Anyone is technically allowed to play in the National Hockey League, and that is dumb
Mar 3, 2020
Mar 2, 2020
Edith Green: 1922-2020
Mar 2, 2020
Mar 1, 2020
Resolution Update: February 2020
Mar 1, 2020
February 2020
Feb 29, 2020
Charlie is funny.
Feb 29, 2020
Feb 28, 2020
My little sister does a very big thing
Feb 28, 2020
Feb 27, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling #87: Matthew Dicks
Feb 27, 2020
Feb 26, 2020
No more swing sets, please. Never again.
Feb 26, 2020
Feb 25, 2020
Thank goodness for Mommy and Daddy
Feb 25, 2020
Feb 24, 2020
Simple and annoying
Feb 24, 2020
Feb 23, 2020
My father's situation was hard, too
Feb 23, 2020
Feb 22, 2020
Write local
Feb 22, 2020
Feb 21, 2020
So many questions. A few answers, then more questions.
Feb 21, 2020
Feb 20, 2020
The Other Mother: cover reveal
Feb 20, 2020
Feb 19, 2020
Speak Up #86: Talia Pollock
Feb 19, 2020
Feb 18, 2020
A sink?
Feb 18, 2020
Feb 17, 2020
The show was good, but the restroom was amazing.
Feb 17, 2020
Feb 16, 2020
Happy birthday to me.
Feb 16, 2020
Feb 15, 2020
My favorite names (and my thoughts on name changes)
Feb 15, 2020
Feb 14, 2020
Winners Take All
Feb 14, 2020
Feb 13, 2020
Storyteller, yes, but teacher first
Feb 13, 2020
Feb 12, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling: Lael Lloyd
Feb 12, 2020
Feb 11, 2020
More sexy rumpus
Feb 11, 2020
Feb 10, 2020
Sometimes it's better not to ask questions
Feb 10, 2020
Feb 9, 2020
The truth about hunting elephants
Feb 9, 2020
Feb 8, 2020
Anxiety vs. nervousness
Feb 8, 2020
Feb 7, 2020
Professional Best Man (and the amazing things that have happened since I first proposed this job)
Feb 7, 2020
Feb 6, 2020
The Super Bowl halftime show and storytelling have a lot in common
Feb 6, 2020
Feb 5, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling #84: Matthew Dicks
Feb 5, 2020
Feb 4, 2020
Parents extrapolate.
Feb 4, 2020
Feb 4, 2020
Super Bowl commercials feature a big mistake, a bold move, and love.
Feb 4, 2020
Feb 2, 2020
Moments of Note 2019
Feb 2, 2020
Feb 1, 2020
Resolution update: January 2020
Feb 1, 2020
January 2020
Jan 31, 2020
The library is the most popular cultural destination in America in 2019, but not for me.
Jan 31, 2020
Jan 30, 2020
This was me.
Jan 30, 2020
Jan 29, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling #83: Ann Guo
Jan 29, 2020
Jan 28, 2020
The tough questions
Jan 28, 2020
Jan 27, 2020
Free The Nipple
Jan 27, 2020
Jan 26, 2020
The Samsung logo got my head spinning
Jan 26, 2020
Jan 26, 2020
Don’t eat the meatball panini.
Jan 26, 2020
Jan 25, 2020
Reaching across time and space
Jan 25, 2020
Jan 23, 2020
Go be a kid again.
Jan 23, 2020
Jan 22, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling #82: John Smith-Horn
Jan 22, 2020
Jan 21, 2020
Feedback is always good, even when it’s bad.
Jan 21, 2020
Jan 20, 2020
Just a little mind terrorism
Jan 20, 2020
Jan 19, 2020
Jesus would not like these Christians
Jan 19, 2020
Jan 18, 2020
Leave my Diet Coke alone
Jan 18, 2020
Jan 17, 2020
Your regional dialect does not make you special
Jan 17, 2020
Jan 16, 2020
Comedy mastermind
Jan 16, 2020
Jan 15, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling #81: Devan Sandiford
Jan 15, 2020
Jan 14, 2020
Damn, One Million Moms! You are so damn stupid!
Jan 14, 2020
Jan 13, 2020
I managed a McDonald's restaurant last night. I'm so annoyed about it.
Jan 13, 2020
Jan 12, 2020
Things I Do #15: I worry about the safety of Bruce Springsteen and Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Jan 12, 2020
Jan 11, 2020
"Jack of all trades but master of none" is not quite right
Jan 11, 2020
Jan 10, 2020
My "Sweet Home Alabama" gift to myself
Jan 10, 2020
Jan 9, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling #80: Matthew Dicks
Jan 9, 2020
Jan 8, 2020
A simple way to not suck at life
Jan 8, 2020
Jan 7, 2020
Decidedly less than "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"
Jan 7, 2020
Jan 6, 2020
Patriots perspective
Jan 6, 2020
Jan 5, 2020
Cheering for alcohol is weird.
Jan 5, 2020
Jan 4, 2020
This does not look at all relaxing to me.
Jan 4, 2020
Jan 3, 2020
Speak Up Storytelling #79: John Cuyler
Jan 3, 2020
Jan 2, 2020
Resolution update: 2019 in review
Jan 2, 2020
Jan 1, 2020
New Year's resolutions: 2020
Jan 1, 2020
December 2019
Dec 31, 2019
Annette Deguire: 1971-2019
Dec 31, 2019
Dec 30, 2019
Worst present ever
Dec 30, 2019
Dec 29, 2019
"Santa Cows" bridges time and space
Dec 29, 2019
Dec 28, 2019
The story of our engagement
Dec 28, 2019
Dec 27, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #78: Storytelling Forensics - "Searching for the Holy Grail"
Dec 27, 2019
Dec 26, 2019
Christmas Day 2019 round up
Dec 26, 2019
Dec 25, 2019
My 2019 Christmas haul
Dec 25, 2019
Dec 24, 2019
The three gift you should want to want
Dec 24, 2019
Dec 23, 2019
Books in hotel rooms
Dec 23, 2019
Dec 22, 2019
The unopened gift is always the best gift
Dec 22, 2019
Dec 21, 2019
Makeup at the gym
Dec 21, 2019
Dec 20, 2019
Happily, I'm hard to hurt.
Dec 20, 2019
Dec 19, 2019
My plate is full. My complains are nil.
Dec 19, 2019
Dec 18, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #77: Live from Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health with Kathy Binder (Part 2)
Dec 18, 2019
Dec 17, 2019
One Million Moms suck
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 16, 2019
Make stuff
Dec 16, 2019
Dec 15, 2019
Tell me I'm a jerk-face, but in a measurable, empirical way, please.
Dec 15, 2019
Dec 14, 2019
There is nothing wrong with that Peloton ad
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 13, 2019
Write, damn it. Don't be forgotten.
Dec 13, 2019
Dec 12, 2019
The perfect gift for your child's teacher
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 11, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Live from Kripalu with Kathy Binder (Part 1)
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 10, 2019
Lyric problems: "Don't Stop Me Now"
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 9, 2019
The death penalty is wrong
Dec 9, 2019
Dec 8, 2019
Shouting at people in public
Dec 8, 2019
Dec 7, 2019
Intense signage
Dec 7, 2019
Dec 6, 2019
A measured response
Dec 6, 2019
Dec 5, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #75: Joey Meyer
Dec 5, 2019
Dec 4, 2019
Greetings Little One!
Dec 4, 2019
Dec 3, 2019
Moments of Note: Take stock
Dec 3, 2019
Dec 2, 2019
Madman
Dec 2, 2019
Dec 1, 2019
Resolution update: November 2019
Dec 1, 2019
November 2019
Nov 30, 2019
Like father, like son
Nov 30, 2019
Nov 29, 2019
Speak Up #74: "Twenty-one Truths About Love" Book Launch
Nov 29, 2019
Nov 28, 2019
Charlie's turkey
Nov 28, 2019
Nov 27, 2019
Women's shirts make messaging hard
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 26, 2019
Deep, seasonal thoughts from my children
Nov 26, 2019
Nov 25, 2019
68 garments?
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 24, 2019
Truth
Nov 24, 2019
Nov 23, 2019
I don't like Anchorman. Nor should you.
Nov 23, 2019
Nov 22, 2019
Books rock
Nov 22, 2019
Nov 21, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #73: Storytelling Forensics ("Wet and Naked")
Nov 21, 2019
Nov 20, 2019
Makemake
Nov 20, 2019
Nov 18, 2019
Sometimes the old-school methods are still best.
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 17, 2019
Dolly Parton is very wrong.
Nov 17, 2019
Nov 16, 2019
Worst moment ever for an author
Nov 16, 2019
Nov 15, 2019
Things I do #14: I constantly assume it's nuclear war
Nov 15, 2019
Nov 14, 2019
Stranding small children on desert islands
Nov 14, 2019
Nov 13, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #72: Chris Gaffney
Nov 13, 2019
Nov 12, 2019
"Skip Politics" is nonsense.
Nov 12, 2019
Nov 11, 2019
"I don't mean to insult you, but..."
Nov 11, 2019
Nov 10, 2019
Warmer days ahead
Nov 10, 2019
Nov 9, 2019
These two posts make readers the most angry
Nov 9, 2019
Nov 8, 2019
Perfect pair
Nov 8, 2019
Nov 7, 2019
Twenty-one Truths About Love!
Nov 7, 2019
Nov 6, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Live from Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health (Part 2)
Nov 6, 2019
Nov 5, 2019
A lot of feelings for my children today
Nov 5, 2019
Nov 4, 2019
At least they didn't add an apostrophe to my name
Nov 4, 2019
Nov 3, 2019
Happiness through music
Nov 3, 2019
Nov 2, 2019
Optimism is kind of like eating kale
Nov 2, 2019
Nov 1, 2019
Resolution update: October 2019
Nov 1, 2019
October 2019
Oct 31, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #70: Live from Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health (Part 1)
Oct 31, 2019
Oct 30, 2019
Can starting your day with a smile really change your mood and improve your heath?
Oct 30, 2019
Oct 29, 2019
Quarry thoughts
Oct 29, 2019
Oct 28, 2019
I could run a turn on 10:1, and it was unbelievable
Oct 28, 2019
Oct 27, 2019
Trump ruins everything
Oct 27, 2019
Oct 26, 2019
This is a hell of a schedule...
Oct 26, 2019
Oct 25, 2019
Direct but funny is the perfect combination
Oct 25, 2019
Oct 24, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #69: Marko Ivanov
Oct 24, 2019
Oct 23, 2019
Trump in food
Oct 23, 2019
Oct 22, 2019
That’s a long way for pizza
Oct 22, 2019
Oct 21, 2019
Unexpected benefits of teaching
Oct 21, 2019
Oct 20, 2019
Vermont getaway
Oct 20, 2019
Oct 19, 2019
Don’t eat children
Oct 19, 2019
Oct 18, 2019
It's real. And appalling.
Oct 18, 2019
Oct 17, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #67: Bobby Klau
Oct 17, 2019
Oct 16, 2019
My postage stamp mia culpa
Oct 16, 2019
Oct 15, 2019
This text message did not go the way I had expected.
Oct 15, 2019
Oct 14, 2019
I sometimes use different words based upon the day
Oct 14, 2019
Oct 13, 2019
Mean things spoken about my body
Oct 13, 2019
Oct 12, 2019
Yoda is kind of a jerk
Oct 12, 2019
Oct 11, 2019
Harvard's new legacy
Oct 11, 2019
Oct 10, 2019
Stop the madness. Please.
Oct 10, 2019
Oct 9, 2019
Die, suits. Die.
Oct 9, 2019
Oct 8, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #67: Matthew Dicks
Oct 8, 2019
Oct 7, 2019
Flaubert and the art of the day job
Oct 7, 2019
Oct 6, 2019
Look what I found
Oct 6, 2019
Oct 5, 2019
Stupid words for simple things
Oct 5, 2019
Oct 4, 2019
Which coincidence would be more coincidental?
Oct 4, 2019
Oct 3, 2019
Robots are coming for us
Oct 3, 2019
Oct 2, 2019
Resolution update: September 2019
Oct 2, 2019
Oct 2, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #66: Carla Katz
Oct 2, 2019
September 2019
Sep 30, 2019
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2019
Sep 30, 2019
Sep 29, 2019
I'm worried that Frost's poems will someday die
Sep 29, 2019
Sep 28, 2019
Why bullies bully
Sep 28, 2019
Sep 27, 2019
Lottery winners are happy after all
Sep 27, 2019
Sep 26, 2019
Sometimes the answer is exactly wrong in every possible way
Sep 26, 2019
Sep 25, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #65: Elva Guo
Sep 25, 2019
Sep 24, 2019
Fun facts are never fun
Sep 24, 2019
Sep 23, 2019
Cashews are not pleasant
Sep 23, 2019
Sep 22, 2019
Seeking submissions for my annual list of shortcomings and flaws
Sep 22, 2019
Sep 21, 2019
Compliments?
Sep 21, 2019
Sep 20, 2019
Deep Impact is a stupid movie
Sep 20, 2019
Sep 19, 2019
Definition of guilt
Sep 19, 2019
Sep 18, 2019
Washington Post!
Sep 18, 2019
Sep 18, 2019
Hemingway's Robert Jordan and his last words
Sep 18, 2019
Sep 17, 2019
James Corden was brilliant for a reason everyone failed to see
Sep 17, 2019
Sep 16, 2019
Bacon!
Sep 16, 2019
Sep 15, 2019
Trump has achieved a new low.
Sep 15, 2019
Sep 14, 2019
I'm not stopping.
Sep 14, 2019
Sep 13, 2019
Three strange medical stories
Sep 13, 2019
Sep 12, 2019
21 + 3 Parenting Truths
Sep 12, 2019
Sep 11, 2019
Grapes and novels: New ways of prying money away from the wealthy
Sep 11, 2019
Sep 9, 2019
Offense kleptomaniacs
Sep 9, 2019
Sep 8, 2019
Many traditions are kind of stupid. Some are epically stupid.
Sep 8, 2019
Sep 7, 2019
Why are they wearing makeup?
Sep 7, 2019
Sep 6, 2019
Parking lot artist
Sep 6, 2019
Sep 5, 2019
Little did I know that I was among giants that night
Sep 5, 2019
Sep 4, 2019
Four reasons why I seem to get into so many arguments
Sep 4, 2019
Sep 3, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #63: Esam Boray
Sep 3, 2019
Sep 2, 2019
Electrical conundrum
Sep 2, 2019
Sep 1, 2019
Resolution Update: August 2019
Sep 1, 2019
August 2019
Aug 31, 2019
Siblings
Aug 31, 2019
Aug 30, 2019
I don't see stuff
Aug 30, 2019
Aug 29, 2019
Nostalgia in the Pacific Northwest
Aug 29, 2019
Aug 28, 2019
What's Next? Brand New Challenging Life Goals (UPDATED)
Aug 28, 2019
Aug 27, 2019
A great problem to have. BUT STILL A PROBLEM.
Aug 27, 2019
Aug 26, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: The Tragedy of Seattle
Aug 26, 2019
Aug 25, 2019
Love me a good sign
Aug 25, 2019
Aug 24, 2019
Speak to strangers
Aug 24, 2019
Aug 23, 2019
Since returning from the Pacific Northwest, I've noticed this.
Aug 23, 2019
Aug 22, 2019
YOLO is not new
Aug 22, 2019
Aug 21, 2019
Discount men
Aug 21, 2019
Aug 20, 2019
I am not experiencing enough stress (at least according to others)
Aug 20, 2019
Aug 19, 2019
My little girl is a storyteller
Aug 19, 2019
Aug 18, 2019
I don't return stuff
Aug 18, 2019
Aug 17, 2019
"They call me Matt" is apparently no good
Aug 17, 2019
Aug 16, 2019
Why I respond to Donald Trump via Twitter
Aug 16, 2019
Aug 15, 2019
Another review of Twenty-one Truths About Love
Aug 15, 2019
Aug 14, 2019
I know these men exist, but I don't know any of them
Aug 14, 2019
Aug 13, 2019
I am not a monster
Aug 13, 2019
Aug 12, 2019
Bizarre coincidences are not so bizarre when it comes to storytelling
Aug 12, 2019
Aug 11, 2019
I have no idea where my children get these ideas
Aug 11, 2019
Aug 10, 2019
It's gone, and I couldn't be happier.
Aug 10, 2019
Aug 9, 2019
Why do teenagers smoke?
Aug 9, 2019
Aug 8, 2019
Lessons are almost always learned the hard way. But not on Wednesday night.
Aug 8, 2019
Aug 7, 2019
Toni Morrison helped me feel like I belonged.
Aug 7, 2019
Aug 6, 2019
Is the hand hover respectful and thoughtful or a sign that the end of days is near?
Aug 6, 2019
Aug 5, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #61: Joe Basile
Aug 5, 2019
Aug 4, 2019
Friday night magic
Aug 4, 2019
Aug 3, 2019
You don't know people
Aug 3, 2019
Aug 2, 2019
I am Springsteen
Aug 2, 2019
Aug 1, 2019
Resolution Update: July 2019
Aug 1, 2019
July 2019
Jul 31, 2019
The world's real apex predator
Jul 31, 2019
Jul 30, 2019
That’s a lot of TV
Jul 30, 2019
Jul 29, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Eric Feeney
Jul 29, 2019
Jul 28, 2019
The Baltimore Sun's response to Trump is astounding
Jul 28, 2019
Jul 28, 2019
Am I a jerk because I think this way?
Jul 28, 2019
Jul 27, 2019
Book love
Jul 27, 2019
Jul 26, 2019
I picked up a hitchhiker. Not everyone is happy.
Jul 26, 2019
Jul 25, 2019
The pre-rain date
Jul 25, 2019
Jul 24, 2019
Worst concert ever
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 23, 2019
Someone doesn't like how happy I am.
Jul 23, 2019
Jul 22, 2019
My hero... Justin Bieber?
Jul 22, 2019
Jul 22, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Chris Kriesen
Jul 22, 2019
Jul 21, 2019
I'm going to criticize you and then stop listening to you because I'm stupid.
Jul 21, 2019
Jul 20, 2019
Be flexible.
Jul 20, 2019
Jul 19, 2019
Verbal Sparring: If you don't like it, leave.
Jul 19, 2019
Jul 18, 2019
As a Disney shareholder, here are a few improvements that the parks needs now.
Jul 18, 2019
Jul 17, 2019
Bite, damn it!
Jul 17, 2019
Jul 16, 2019
Disney World Shouts and Murmurs
Jul 16, 2019
Jul 15, 2019
When Harry Met Sally, and When Matt Met Elysha
Jul 15, 2019
Jul 15, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Live from Miss Porter's School!
Jul 15, 2019
Jul 14, 2019
Ten years of publishing... TODAY!
Jul 14, 2019
Jul 13, 2019
Three amusing Disney moments
Jul 13, 2019
Jul 12, 2019
Best and worst of our Disney adventure
Jul 12, 2019
Jul 11, 2019
Perhaps we don't disagree on sleep as much as you think. Perhaps.
Jul 11, 2019
Jul 10, 2019
New favorite animal for a damn good reason
Jul 10, 2019
Jul 9, 2019
Sid from Toy Story was a completely normal person.
Jul 9, 2019
Jul 8, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Matthew DIcks
Jul 8, 2019
Jul 7, 2019
Stand up, damn it.
Jul 7, 2019
Jul 6, 2019
Don't tie a bow at the end of your story
Jul 6, 2019
Jul 5, 2019
Trump's Fourth of July history lesson
Jul 5, 2019
Jul 4, 2019
Important notes on this Fourth of July 2019
Jul 4, 2019
Jul 3, 2019
This is the way to write a review
Jul 3, 2019
Jul 3, 2019
Meteorological adjectives are hard
Jul 3, 2019
Jul 2, 2019
Your negativity sucks. Shut up.
Jul 2, 2019
Jul 1, 2019
Resolution update: June 2019
Jul 1, 2019
June 2019
Jun 30, 2019
Good week in the press
Jun 30, 2019
Jun 29, 2019
"On line" is not pride-worthy
Jun 29, 2019
Jun 28, 2019
Join me for storytelling at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health!
Jun 28, 2019
Jun 28, 2019
He's back!
Jun 28, 2019
Jun 27, 2019
Tell that kid that he sucks.
Jun 27, 2019
Jun 27, 2019
Trademark!
Jun 27, 2019
Jun 25, 2019
Pluto
Jun 25, 2019
Jun 24, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Mark Scerra
Jun 24, 2019
Jun 23, 2019
You must watch this video. Or avoid it entirely. I'm not sure which is better.
Jun 23, 2019
Jun 22, 2019
Is Exploding Kittens Jewish?
Jun 22, 2019
Jun 21, 2019
You hate you when you say this...
Jun 21, 2019
Jun 20, 2019
My recommendation to you
Jun 20, 2019
Jun 19, 2019
This place that I love will soon be no more
Jun 19, 2019
Jun 18, 2019
The last day of school suddenly became very interesting
Jun 18, 2019
Jun 17, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Cari Ryding
Jun 17, 2019
Jun 16, 2019
Proposed Father's Day laws
Jun 16, 2019
Jun 15, 2019
The utterly unnecessary letter of recommendation
Jun 15, 2019
Jun 14, 2019
Donald Trump is a traitor. In his own damn words.
Jun 14, 2019
Jun 13, 2019
Listen to Jon Stewart. Do the right thing.
Jun 13, 2019
Jun 12, 2019
The cusp of summer
Jun 12, 2019
Jun 11, 2019
Smile and wear sunglasses
Jun 11, 2019
Jun 10, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Matthew Dicks
Jun 10, 2019
Jun 9, 2019
Tooth fairy economics
Jun 9, 2019
Jun 8, 2019
Maybe some things won't change
Jun 8, 2019
Jun 7, 2019
We don't know how our stuff is made.
Jun 7, 2019
Jun 6, 2019
Nevers
Jun 6, 2019
Jun 5, 2019
Winners get ice cream. Losers get nothing.
Jun 5, 2019
Jun 4, 2019
Check out Jared Kushner looking stupid, afraid, and bumbling.
Jun 4, 2019
Jun 3, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Aaron Wolfe
Jun 3, 2019
Jun 2, 2019
Think different things. Just be nice about it.
Jun 2, 2019
Jun 1, 2019
Resolution update: May 2019
Jun 1, 2019
May 2019
May 31, 2019
Celebrate yourself.
May 31, 2019
May 30, 2019
Stop complaining. It's killing you. It's killing us, too.
May 30, 2019
May 29, 2019
First hamburger ever
May 29, 2019
May 28, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Live Episode (Part 2)
May 28, 2019
May 27, 2019
What is Alabama thinking?
May 27, 2019
May 26, 2019
Things I Do #14: I assume the world has ended.
May 26, 2019
May 25, 2019
Someday sucks.
May 25, 2019
May 24, 2019
Terrible Twitter and Terrible Maps
May 24, 2019
May 23, 2019
Chess boxing, people.
May 23, 2019
May 22, 2019
Never again. But a little sad.
May 22, 2019
May 21, 2019
The most disturbing aspect of a Trump Presidency
May 21, 2019
May 20, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Live Episode (Part One)
May 20, 2019
May 19, 2019
Star Wars got better. Seriously.
May 19, 2019
May 18, 2019
A tennis shoe is designed for tennis.
May 18, 2019
May 17, 2019
Fight to ascribe good intentions
May 17, 2019
May 16, 2019
Storyworthy in academia
May 16, 2019
May 15, 2019
Elysha knew.
May 15, 2019
May 14, 2019
Charlie supports the separation of church and state
May 14, 2019
May 13, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Ted Olds
May 13, 2019
May 12, 2019
Checking in on our relationship...
May 12, 2019
May 11, 2019
Not going to the racist's house is a reasonable choice
May 11, 2019
May 10, 2019
Benji the Hunted
May 10, 2019
May 9, 2019
Just the right words
May 9, 2019
May 8, 2019
Fertilizer is tasty today.
May 8, 2019
May 7, 2019
A tribute to Chris Farley (and me)
May 7, 2019
May 6, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Kat Koppett
May 6, 2019
May 5, 2019
Can you judge a person by the quality of their spouse?
May 5, 2019
May 4, 2019
I live with a stranger named Clara
May 4, 2019
May 3, 2019
A suggestion for Teacher Appreciation Week
May 3, 2019
May 3, 2019
Today's Republican party
May 3, 2019
May 2, 2019
Attendance weirdos
May 2, 2019
May 1, 2019
Resolution update: April 2019
May 1, 2019
April 2019
Apr 30, 2019
I was so angry at my wife, and then I wasn't.
Apr 30, 2019
Apr 29, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Matthew Dicks
Apr 29, 2019
Apr 28, 2019
I'm no scrub.
Apr 28, 2019
Apr 27, 2019
The complexities of baby naming, and some very bad baby naming decisions
Apr 27, 2019
Apr 26, 2019
Book launch: What are your ideas?
Apr 26, 2019
Apr 25, 2019
Things I don't own that make my life easy
Apr 25, 2019
Apr 24, 2019
The fabled land of Inbox Zero
Apr 24, 2019
Apr 23, 2019
Trump's stupid belief in the simplicity of problems and solutions
Apr 23, 2019
Apr 22, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Corey Jeffreys
Apr 22, 2019
Apr 21, 2019
A terrible decision even worse than my terrible decision
Apr 21, 2019
Apr 20, 2019
How to write for 14 years without missing a day and never run out of ideas.
Apr 20, 2019
Apr 19, 2019
Memorize some poems
Apr 19, 2019
Apr 18, 2019
I don't have time to save time
Apr 18, 2019
Apr 17, 2019
Last times
Apr 17, 2019
Apr 16, 2019
Religion on the decline. Thankfully.
Apr 16, 2019
Apr 15, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Jeffrey Freiser
Apr 15, 2019
Apr 14, 2019
Strangeness of Vermont
Apr 14, 2019
Apr 13, 2019
Try new things. Aggressively, relentlessly, and constantly.
Apr 13, 2019
Apr 12, 2019
Billions with a B
Apr 12, 2019
Apr 11, 2019
A picture is worth so much more than 1,000 words
Apr 11, 2019
Apr 10, 2019
Unfortunate restroom encounters at MIT
Apr 10, 2019
Apr 9, 2019
Theatrical wind chill factor
Apr 9, 2019
Apr 8, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Sarasweet Rabidoux Kelsey
Apr 8, 2019
Apr 7, 2019
The standing ovation has come to signify nothing.
Apr 7, 2019
Apr 6, 2019
I want to be the blind man with the elephant.
Apr 6, 2019
Apr 5, 2019
Thoreau on regret
Apr 5, 2019
Apr 4, 2019
Change of plan
Apr 4, 2019
Apr 3, 2019
Trump is an inarticulate, lying coward who refuses to answer to the American people
Apr 3, 2019
Apr 2, 2019
Resolution update: March 2019
Apr 2, 2019
Apr 1, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Matthew Dicks
Apr 1, 2019
March 2019
Mar 31, 2019
This is underwear
Mar 31, 2019
Mar 30, 2019
Storytelling in the Classroom
Mar 30, 2019
Mar 29, 2019
Life!
Mar 29, 2019
Mar 28, 2019
I lost The Moth GrandSLAM on Tuesday night. This is how I feel about losing.
Mar 28, 2019
Mar 27, 2019
My students are ruining my chances at greatness
Mar 27, 2019
Mar 26, 2019
Spring! Then murder.
Mar 26, 2019
Mar 25, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Ted Zablotsky
Mar 25, 2019
Mar 24, 2019
Why you should not complain about the common core
Mar 24, 2019
Mar 23, 2019
Physics and philosophy at bedtime
Mar 23, 2019
Mar 22, 2019
Adults here sucked
Mar 22, 2019
Mar 21, 2019
19 Things I Heart: 2019
Mar 21, 2019
Mar 20, 2019
A man of many sexual exploits. Apparently. Maybe.
Mar 20, 2019
Mar 19, 2019
19 Things I Heart (2015)
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 18, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Tom Ouimet
Mar 18, 2019
Mar 17, 2019
Most of us rejoice. A bunch of old, white bigots do not.
Mar 17, 2019
Mar 16, 2019
The middle finger is just a finger
Mar 16, 2019
Mar 15, 2019
Losers lose. I am happy.
Mar 15, 2019
Mar 14, 2019
Wisdom
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 13, 2019
I have opinions on a suggested 30 percent tip
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 12, 2019
The Other Mother: Another cover reveal!
Mar 12, 2019
Mar 11, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: John Smith-Horn
Mar 11, 2019
Mar 10, 2019
When everyone is you, it's not good.
Mar 10, 2019
Mar 9, 2019
The “Let's do it” button
Mar 9, 2019
Mar 8, 2019
My daughter's issues with Title IX. Kind of.
Mar 8, 2019
Mar 7, 2019
“Star Wars Always” saves the day
Mar 7, 2019
Mar 6, 2019
Standing up in defense of comedy instead of decency
Mar 6, 2019
Mar 5, 2019
Twenty-one Truths About Love: Cover reveal!
Mar 5, 2019
Mar 4, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #29: Matthew Dicks
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 3, 2019
You might be sick, but count your blessings
Mar 3, 2019
Mar 2, 2019
"Republicans buy sneakers, too" is not a reason to remain silent
Mar 2, 2019
Mar 1, 2019
Resolution update: February 2019
Mar 1, 2019
February 2019
Feb 28, 2019
Surprised about my relentless opposition to Trump? Why?
Feb 28, 2019
Feb 27, 2019
Dumb geographical luck
Feb 27, 2019
Feb 26, 2019
I don't remember what I see.
Feb 26, 2019
Feb 25, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #38: Lauren Doninger
Feb 25, 2019
Feb 24, 2019
New employment opportunity involves contracting malaria
Feb 24, 2019
Feb 23, 2019
Wake up call
Feb 23, 2019
Feb 22, 2019
Great news, greater advice, and a cage
Feb 22, 2019
Feb 21, 2019
My version of self care might seem despicable and disgraceful, but I disagree.
Feb 21, 2019
Feb 20, 2019
Do you know who Madame CJ Walker is?
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 19, 2019
Advice from The Beatles
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 18, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #37: Steve Brouse
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 17, 2019
Why you should embrace every snow day
Feb 17, 2019
Feb 16, 2019
A perfect collection of birthday presents
Feb 16, 2019
Feb 15, 2019
I leveled up.
Feb 15, 2019
Feb 14, 2019
The worst thing about Valentine's Day
Feb 14, 2019
Feb 13, 2019
My binder clip IQ test
Feb 13, 2019
Feb 12, 2019
I did not speak like this when I was ten years old.
Feb 12, 2019
Feb 11, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling: Marie Greene
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 10, 2019
This map is terrible. So is this administration.
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 9, 2019
Spielberg didn't hire me. Big mistake.
Feb 9, 2019
Feb 8, 2019
Why the Kit Kat is a terrible candy bar
Feb 8, 2019
Feb 7, 2019
Storyworthy: The Illustrated compendium
Feb 7, 2019
Feb 6, 2019
Trump demonstrates his ineffectiveness with startling clarity
Feb 6, 2019
Feb 5, 2019
Gratitude and perspective on the eve of the Super Bowl
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 4, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #35: Ophira Eisenberg
Feb 4, 2019
Feb 3, 2019
Bravery beyond compare
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 2, 2019
An answer to the stupid question, "How can it be so cold if global warming is real?"
Feb 2, 2019
Feb 1, 2019
Resolution update: January 2019
Feb 1, 2019
January 2019
Jan 31, 2019
Overused, hackneyed, and stupid
Jan 31, 2019
Jan 30, 2019
Being critical doesn't mean I can't have fun.
Jan 30, 2019
Jan 29, 2019
No straw but plenty of lemon? Absolutely stupid.
Jan 29, 2019
Jan 28, 2019
Speak Up #34: Chion Wolf
Jan 28, 2019
Jan 27, 2019
Wonder Woman and Mary Poppins Returns: Two excellent films with stupid, sexist endings
Jan 27, 2019
Jan 26, 2019
Worst reaction to a gift ever
Jan 26, 2019
Jan 25, 2019
Clara turns 10 years-old today.
Jan 25, 2019
Jan 24, 2019
They love themselves more than they love their children.
Jan 24, 2019
Jan 23, 2019
Judge yourself by who hates you
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 22, 2019
Charlie can kiss all he wants. He just doesn't want to.
Jan 22, 2019
Jan 21, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #33: Bobbi Klau
Jan 21, 2019
Jan 20, 2019
Patriots playoff presumptions
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 20, 2019
Snoop Dog thanked Snoop Dog.
Jan 20, 2019
Jan 19, 2019
14 “safe” changes I’d make if I could travel back in time
Jan 19, 2019
Jan 18, 2019
Three commercials. Five minutes. Many, many laughs and perhaps a little inspiration, too.
Jan 18, 2019
Jan 17, 2019
Karen Pence is a bigot, but this is not news.
Jan 17, 2019
Jan 16, 2019
Kids get mad at "Bohemian Rhapsody"
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 15, 2019
7 bits of parenting advice that I stand by without reservation
Jan 15, 2019
Jan 14, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #32: Tom Reed Swale
Jan 14, 2019
Jan 13, 2019
Hurting children because you are stupid
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 12, 2019
I have a new job. And two simple strategies that helped me land it.
Jan 12, 2019
Jan 11, 2019
The ongoing lies of the Trump administration regarding the border wall paint a clear picture
Jan 11, 2019
Jan 10, 2019
Dad is clearly an idiot
Jan 10, 2019
Jan 9, 2019
Eric Trump blocked me on Twitter
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 8, 2019
Silver linings can be quite lovely
Jan 8, 2019
Jan 7, 2019
Speak Up Storytelling #31: David Ring
Jan 7, 2019
Jan 6, 2019
Old me is okay, too.
Jan 6, 2019
Jan 5, 2019
13 was not a good number in 1989. It's especially bad in 2019.
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 4, 2019
Things I Do #13: I turn on the passenger seat heater in my car on especially cold days
Jan 4, 2019
Jan 3, 2019
A man who should know better is worried about balance
Jan 3, 2019
Jan 2, 2019
New Year’s Resolutions 2019
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 1, 2019
Resolution update: 2018 in review
Jan 1, 2019
December 2018
Dec 31, 2018
Moments of Note 2018
Dec 31, 2018
Dec 31, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Chuck Fedolfi
Dec 31, 2018
Dec 30, 2018
Find your people
Dec 30, 2018
Dec 29, 2018
I went to see Hamilton last night despite the ridiculous hype that accompanies it.
Dec 29, 2018
Dec 29, 2018
I engaged with celebrity culture for a month. Here is what I discovered.
Dec 29, 2018
Dec 28, 2018
Time to set some goals for 2019. And perhaps a goal or two for me, too.
Dec 28, 2018
Dec 27, 2018
I was visited by the Ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come. Kind of.
Dec 27, 2018
Dec 26, 2018
My 2018 Christmas haul
Dec 26, 2018
Dec 25, 2018
Just before all the good stuff is the real good stuff
Dec 25, 2018
Dec 24, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Christina Fedolfi
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 23, 2018
Be different
Dec 23, 2018
Dec 22, 2018
A simple suggestion to improve 2018 and beyond
Dec 22, 2018
Dec 21, 2018
Not a single one of them escaped alive
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 20, 2018
A beautiful act of revenge. Plus glitter.
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 19, 2018
Roman numerals are stupid
Dec 19, 2018
Dec 18, 2018
Let the anger go
Dec 18, 2018
Dec 17, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Erica Donahue
Dec 17, 2018
Dec 16, 2018
Look! Real American heroes! And no capes!
Dec 16, 2018
Dec 15, 2018
Dane Best: Child hero
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 14, 2018
Thank goodness that I'm smart enough to listen to my wife
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 13, 2018
Finding a new friend thanks to self expression and some scabies
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 12, 2018
A bittersweet moment for a storyteller, and a magical night for all of us
Dec 12, 2018
Dec 11, 2018
Demographics tell the story
Dec 11, 2018
Dec 10, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #4: Sam Carley [rebroadcast]
Dec 10, 2018
Dec 9, 2018
The magic of film on film
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 8, 2018
The curtain raised on peeing with girls
Dec 8, 2018
Dec 7, 2018
Batman is depressed. Also, you are bad or good depending on how you eat your lunch.
Dec 7, 2018
Dec 6, 2018
The worst part of the Christmas season
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 5, 2018
These folks get it.
Dec 5, 2018
Dec 4, 2018
A Patriots fan becomes an honest-to-goodness Patriot, and I'll never forget it.
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 3, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Kathy Binder
Dec 3, 2018
Dec 2, 2018
Be happy for others, damn it.
Dec 2, 2018
Dec 1, 2018
Resolution update: November 2018
Dec 1, 2018
November 2018
Nov 30, 2018
Changing minds. Occasionally.
Nov 30, 2018
Nov 29, 2018
Spy magazine's prank from 30 years ago is more remarkable now than it was then.
Nov 29, 2018
Nov 28, 2018
Dr. Seuss's The Grinch is feminist and lovely.
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 27, 2018
Don't sleep on Die Hard 2
Nov 27, 2018
Nov 26, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Linda Storms
Nov 26, 2018
Nov 25, 2018
The life cycle of a human being through the eyes of a six year-old boy
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018
Trump's Thanksgiving Day hissy-fit
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 24, 2018
I’ll be speaking at the NYC Public Library Main Branch alongside storyteller Erin Barker… join us!
Nov 24, 2018
Nov 24, 2018
Important notes on the phrase "scantily clad"
Nov 24, 2018
Nov 23, 2018
Baptism as a threat
Nov 23, 2018
Nov 22, 2018
A solution to arguing on Thanksgiving Day
Nov 22, 2018
Nov 21, 2018
Elton returns.
Nov 21, 2018
Nov 20, 2018
A beautiful princess
Nov 20, 2018
Nov 19, 2018
My blog is celebrating its 10th anniversary today!
Nov 19, 2018
Nov 19, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling [rebroadcast]: Renae Edge
Nov 19, 2018
Nov 18, 2018
Just another Saturday night
Nov 18, 2018
Nov 17, 2018
"I had nothing else to do"
Nov 17, 2018
Nov 16, 2018
My son, the conceptual percussionist
Nov 16, 2018
Nov 15, 2018
Trying to tell me something?
Nov 15, 2018
Nov 14, 2018
What is the meaning of life?
Nov 14, 2018
Nov 13, 2018
Get Storyworthy for less than a dollar!
Nov 13, 2018
Nov 13, 2018
Trump has solutions for rising oil prices, a falling stock market, and the California wildfires. Thank goodness!
Nov 13, 2018
Nov 12, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Jenny Steadman (with special guest Danielle Dnes)
Nov 12, 2018
Nov 11, 2018
How I fight crazy, strange, and beautiful people
Nov 11, 2018
Nov 10, 2018
I had a terrifying Uber right in Florida last night.
Nov 10, 2018
Nov 9, 2018
News of a pending divorce
Nov 9, 2018
Nov 8, 2018
Smart cat. Terrible skill.
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 7, 2018
She killed Springsteen
Nov 7, 2018
Nov 6, 2018
Today I cast my vote on behalf of people who need it far more than me
Nov 6, 2018
Nov 5, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #24: Erin Barker
Nov 5, 2018
Nov 4, 2018
Steve Bannon is worried about the future of America. I hope and pray that he is right.
Nov 4, 2018
Nov 3, 2018
The truth about immigrants and the American economy
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 2, 2018
My wife is a teacher again.
Nov 2, 2018
Nov 1, 2018
Resolution Update: October 2018
Nov 1, 2018
October 2018
Oct 31, 2018
Reach for the masses...
Oct 31, 2018
Oct 30, 2018
Trump can't speak articulately., and it should scare the hell out of us.
Oct 30, 2018
Oct 29, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #23: Laura Terranova
Oct 29, 2018
Oct 28, 2018
Terrorists are cowards. Let them know it.
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 27, 2018
Charlie lost his first tooth. Also, a lot more happened.
Oct 27, 2018
Oct 26, 2018
Piñatas suck.
Oct 26, 2018
Oct 25, 2018
Perhaps the stupidest thing that America does
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 24, 2018
Why are you doing this to me?
Oct 24, 2018
Oct 23, 2018
How dare you?
Oct 23, 2018
Oct 22, 2018
Many jobs with one important thing in common
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #22: Q&A catch-up
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 21, 2018
"Ask a Teacher" has become a permanent gig of sorts, and perhaps another step to my lifelong dream
Oct 21, 2018
Oct 20, 2018
Speak Up #60 was a big night
Oct 20, 2018
Oct 19, 2018
What inappropriate things did I put in my mouth?
Oct 19, 2018
Oct 18, 2018
I threw away my bathrobe after wearing it zero times
Oct 18, 2018
Oct 17, 2018
This sign is amusing but otherwise pointless
Oct 17, 2018
Oct 16, 2018
Own your domain, dummy
Oct 16, 2018
Oct 15, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #21: Don Picard
Oct 15, 2018
Oct 14, 2018
Brett Kavanaugh and the photo that will never go away
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 13, 2018
Matilda vs. Donald Trump
Oct 13, 2018
Oct 12, 2018
What is my obstacle?
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 11, 2018
Turkish publishers offer a small bonus to their readers
Oct 11, 2018
Oct 10, 2018
Eric Trump doesn't like me
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 9, 2018
I love my jobs.
Oct 9, 2018
Oct 8, 2018
The most re-watched movies of all time
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 7, 2018
The mystery of irregular verbs explained
Oct 7, 2018
Oct 6, 2018
First words this morning
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 5, 2018
Americans believe this
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 4, 2018
Ignoring your reviews is dumb
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 3, 2018
My children show me a world I often fail to see
Oct 3, 2018
Oct 2, 2018
Trump is many things, but let's not forget this.
Oct 2, 2018
Oct 1, 2018
Resolution update: September 2018
Oct 1, 2018
Oct 1, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Valerie Gordon
Oct 1, 2018
September 2018
Sep 30, 2018
How to handle a troll
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 29, 2018
Two statistics that can change the course of a lifetime
Sep 29, 2018
Sep 28, 2018
Honest but kind. No, honest is kind.
Sep 28, 2018
Sep 27, 2018
The Republican own this self-acknowledged sex offender President
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 26, 2018
Many jobs. Many, many more dreams.
Sep 26, 2018
Sep 25, 2018
Behold: The inventor of the chocolate chip cookie
Sep 25, 2018
Sep 24, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: Ron Apter
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 23, 2018
A DJ, a preacher, and a bank robber, all rolled into one
Sep 23, 2018
Sep 22, 2018
My son loves his mother and sister. Period.
Sep 22, 2018
Sep 21, 2018
I don’t drink. For my health and other good reasons.
Sep 21, 2018
Sep 20, 2018
New Jersey is different and dumb.
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 19, 2018
Not every service dog is equal
Sep 19, 2018
Sep 18, 2018
Why people think women aren't as funny as men (maybe)
Sep 18, 2018
Sep 17, 2018
Feline interference
Sep 17, 2018
Sep 17, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #17: Robin Gelfenbien
Sep 17, 2018
Sep 16, 2018
Serena is beautiful. You are a terrible human being.
Sep 16, 2018
Sep 15, 2018
Names are interesting. And confusing.
Sep 15, 2018
Sep 14, 2018
Ocelots have a lot of sex. My daughter told me.
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 13, 2018
Empathy vs. I believe in you
Sep 13, 2018
Sep 12, 2018
Yellow Stripey Things
Sep 12, 2018
Sep 11, 2018
A job is a job. Only a douchebag would think otherwise.
Sep 11, 2018
Sep 10, 2018
I can smell mustard when other people cannot, and it's probably saved my life.
Sep 10, 2018
Sep 9, 2018
Busy Town update gets my enthusiastic seal of approval
Sep 9, 2018
Sep 8, 2018
We don't need another ice cream flavor. Especially mayonnaise-flavored ice cream.
Sep 8, 2018
Sep 7, 2018
The people in Louisiana don't suck
Sep 7, 2018
Sep 6, 2018
Wife: Emoji Master
Sep 6, 2018
Sep 5, 2018
Seinfeld gets it
Sep 5, 2018
Sep 4, 2018
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2018
Sep 4, 2018
Sep 3, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #16: Monica Cleveland
Sep 3, 2018
Sep 2, 2018
Weezer's "Africa" is Toto's "Africa." I don't get it.
Sep 2, 2018
Sep 1, 2018
Resolution update: August 2018
Sep 1, 2018
August 2018
Aug 31, 2018
The best and the worst come together in Times Square
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 30, 2018
Storyworthy: The audiobook has arrived, narrated, perhaps unfortunately, by me
Aug 30, 2018
Aug 29, 2018
Donald Trump lost last night, and I won.
Aug 29, 2018
Aug 28, 2018
The worst
Aug 28, 2018
Aug 27, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #15: Roquita Johnson
Aug 27, 2018
Aug 26, 2018
Would you be more likely, less likely, or just as likely to marry your spouse today?
Aug 26, 2018
Aug 25, 2018
N-word bingo
Aug 25, 2018
Aug 24, 2018
If you could recover a single object from your past, what would it be?
Aug 24, 2018
Aug 23, 2018
Little things made big
Aug 23, 2018
Aug 22, 2018
The exact opposite of a bridezilla
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 21, 2018
Making the ordinary a little more extraordinary should always be celebrated
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018
$126 is not a lot of money
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 20, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #14: Renae Edge
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 20, 2018
An anonymous note about a possible murder
Aug 20, 2018
Aug 19, 2018
Every time someone meets Elysha and says, "She's beautiful," this is what I think...
Aug 19, 2018
Aug 18, 2018
Hiring a coach so your child can play Fortnite better is ridiculous.
Aug 18, 2018
Aug 17, 2018
I better, safer alternative to lottery tickets
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 16, 2018
It appears that I might be less fallible than the Pope
Aug 16, 2018
Aug 15, 2018
Insecure cowards are leading the most powerful nations on the planet.
Aug 15, 2018
Aug 14, 2018
What the Heck? - Episode 2
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 13, 2018
I didn't know what Lands' End was, and it makes sense.
Aug 13, 2018
Aug 13, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #13: Leland Brandt
Aug 13, 2018
Aug 12, 2018
I got mentioned in the New York Times yesterday for a teeny tiny thing that I feel so good about.
Aug 12, 2018
Aug 11, 2018
Seeking submissions for my annual list of shortcomings and flaws
Aug 11, 2018
Aug 11, 2018
Open mouth. Insert foot.
Aug 11, 2018
Aug 10, 2018
Clara's first Patriots game. NOT WHAT I EXPECTED AT ALL.
Aug 10, 2018
Aug 9, 2018
We were all changed forever.
Aug 9, 2018
Aug 8, 2018
I'm not a skateboard guy, but I think this is remarkable.
Aug 8, 2018
Aug 7, 2018
"Tears in the Rain" monologue captures it all
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 6, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #12: Jeni Bonaldo
Aug 6, 2018
Aug 6, 2018
Taco Bell vs. Ben & Jerries vanilla ice cream: It's not even close
Aug 6, 2018
Aug 5, 2018
This is not my doing
Aug 5, 2018
Aug 4, 2018
Help! Some kind of voodoo priest is trying to change my life!
Aug 4, 2018
Aug 3, 2018
My daughter has a full time job (in her estimation, at least)
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 2, 2018
There is nothing wrong with Bigfoot erotica
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 1, 2018
Resolution update: July 2018
Aug 1, 2018
July 2018
Jul 31, 2018
Trump vs. Me
Jul 31, 2018
Jul 30, 2018
A small but glorious victory thanks to Charlie and Elysha
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #11: Jessica Isom
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 29, 2018
Windows down. Music up.
Jul 29, 2018
Jul 29, 2018
"What the Heck?" - Episode 1 (Seeds and boys in dresses)
Jul 29, 2018
Jul 28, 2018
Devil lady
Jul 28, 2018
Jul 27, 2018
Crazy man in the airport
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 26, 2018
Lemonade advertising was never so legal (or clever) before
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 25, 2018
Never Have I Ever: 12 things is now 14 things, partially because I'm a jerk
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 24, 2018
Get a cat
Jul 24, 2018
Jul 23, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #10: Kristin Budde
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018
Why a poached egg is funny
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 22, 2018
It's weird that religious folk are so often filled with hate.
Jul 22, 2018
Jul 21, 2018
Swimming in a chlorinated pool is just like taking a bath
Jul 21, 2018
Jul 20, 2018
Goggles
Jul 20, 2018
Jul 19, 2018
Baby jumping is a real thing, and it's really, really stupid.
Jul 19, 2018
Jul 18, 2018
Mattress PSA
Jul 18, 2018
Jul 17, 2018
People. Not places or things.
Jul 17, 2018
Jul 16, 2018
Listen to smart people plus me
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #9: Alan Mackenzie
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 15, 2018
Twelve years!
Jul 15, 2018
Jul 14, 2018
Fly, Baby Trump! Fly!
Jul 14, 2018
Jul 13, 2018
Biggest fan and greatest nemesis meet. Results are climactic.
Jul 13, 2018
Jul 12, 2018
"Do we believe in heaven?"
Jul 12, 2018
Jul 11, 2018
Prankster satisfaction
Jul 11, 2018
Jul 10, 2018
It's too early for something as depressing as this.
Jul 10, 2018
Jul 9, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #8: Sharon Snow
Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018
"How do you get so much done?"
Jul 9, 2018
Jul 8, 2018
Daddy taught her well
Jul 8, 2018
Jul 7, 2018
I don't know my father had a second or third heart attack, so leave me alone.
Jul 7, 2018
Jul 6, 2018
Less money. More connection.
Jul 6, 2018
Jul 5, 2018
Low life cretins steal stories.
Jul 5, 2018
Jul 4, 2018
Name your sources or begone!
Jul 4, 2018
Jul 3, 2018
There is no reason to delay the use of signage like this.
Jul 3, 2018
Jul 2, 2018
The boy has been trained well.
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #7: Special Storyworthy book launch episode
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 1, 2018
Resolution update: June 2018
Jul 1, 2018
June 2018
Jun 30, 2018
We march again.
Jun 30, 2018
Jun 29, 2018
Never trust alliteration
Jun 29, 2018
Jun 28, 2018
I am nonplussed about the shifting definition of nonplussed.
Jun 28, 2018
Jun 27, 2018
Jesus was a brown, undocumented immigrant who crossed national borders illegally ill
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 26, 2018
I hit a new thing. The results were tragic.
Jun 26, 2018
Jun 25, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #6: Special Storyworthy book launch episode
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 24, 2018
Empty that bag
Jun 24, 2018
Jun 23, 2018
An unexpected perk
Jun 23, 2018
Jun 22, 2018
I made the mature decision.
Jun 22, 2018
Jun 21, 2018
Watch people dance and be happy.
Jun 21, 2018
Jun 20, 2018
The answer to "How dare you?"
Jun 20, 2018
Jun 19, 2018
13 things that make me happy (5 years later)
Jun 19, 2018
Jun 19, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #5: Renata Sancken
Jun 19, 2018
Jun 18, 2018
A celebration of so much more than just a book
Jun 18, 2018
Jun 17, 2018
What would Jesus do?
Jun 17, 2018
Jun 16, 2018
Dunk your teacher
Jun 16, 2018
Jun 15, 2018
"Lockdown Lockdown" should not need to be a song.
Jun 15, 2018
Jun 14, 2018
Change. Now.
Jun 14, 2018
Jun 13, 2018
Bottom of the cup
Jun 13, 2018
Jun 12, 2018
The most unlikely of pars
Jun 12, 2018
Jun 11, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #4
Jun 11, 2018
Jun 11, 2018
My latest piece in Parents magazine
Jun 11, 2018
Jun 10, 2018
Kids are the worst.
Jun 10, 2018
Jun 9, 2018
Walk fast. Now science is standing behind me.
Jun 9, 2018
Jun 8, 2018
The importance of an editor
Jun 8, 2018
Jun 7, 2018
Don't be embarrassed
Jun 7, 2018
Jun 6, 2018
The problem with crossword puzzles
Jun 6, 2018
Jun 5, 2018
Phone on your face
Jun 5, 2018
Jun 4, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #3: Mansoor Basha
Jun 4, 2018
Jun 3, 2018
Jurassic Park on the left. The Goonies on the right.
Jun 3, 2018
Jun 2, 2018
People don't like you because you complain all the time.
Jun 2, 2018
Jun 1, 2018
Resolution update: May 2018
Jun 1, 2018
May 2018
May 31, 2018
Have some shame. Move out.
May 31, 2018
May 30, 2018
Charles Wallace Dicks: Age 6
May 30, 2018
May 29, 2018
Quotation marks create a bizarre mystery
May 29, 2018
May 28, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling #2: Michelle Sebastianelli
May 28, 2018
May 27, 2018
Be a satisficer.
May 27, 2018
May 26, 2018
Keyboard
May 26, 2018
May 25, 2018
It's not all about the sleep
May 25, 2018
May 24, 2018
Morning conversation scares me.
May 24, 2018
May 23, 2018
Which hot dog is best?
May 23, 2018
May 22, 2018
Want me to find faith in God? Try a sex joke.
May 22, 2018
May 21, 2018
Speak Up Storytelling: The Podcast available today!
May 21, 2018
May 20, 2018
The threat of murder at midnight
May 20, 2018
May 19, 2018
Storyworthy in my hands!
May 19, 2018
May 18, 2018
A surprise breakfast with their friend. Not a potential heart attack for their father.
May 18, 2018
May 17, 2018
I made two instantaneous, temporary friends yesterday, and it meant everything to me.
May 17, 2018
May 16, 2018
Not a heart attack after all, but an eventful day nonetheless.
May 16, 2018
May 15, 2018
Ruth and Bush
May 15, 2018
May 14, 2018
So many white people...
May 14, 2018
May 13, 2018
I'm not supposed to be happy today.
May 13, 2018
May 12, 2018
Elysha the Unstoppable
May 12, 2018
May 11, 2018
Mohawks and Jessie Eisenberg
May 11, 2018
May 10, 2018
Constantly frowning and avoiding dogs at every turn
May 10, 2018
May 9, 2018
I am competitive, which means I might be a jerk but also other important things
May 9, 2018
May 8, 2018
A former student's advice on avoiding procrastination
May 8, 2018
May 7, 2018
A dose of 1850's racial politics to start my day
May 7, 2018
May 6, 2018
The old fashioned way of breaking up is the right way to break up
May 6, 2018
May 5, 2018
I did a backbend. Now I can do anything.
May 5, 2018
May 4, 2018
Pain and fear and joy all wrapped up in a stone
May 4, 2018
May 3, 2018
I don't see it.
May 3, 2018
May 2, 2018
Don't be selfish. Tell a story.
May 2, 2018
May 1, 2018
Resolution update: April 2018
May 1, 2018
April 2018
Apr 30, 2018
These people exist, and I can't stand them.
Apr 30, 2018
Apr 29, 2018
She's studying volume.
Apr 29, 2018
Apr 28, 2018
Writing is already hard enough without this.
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 27, 2018
I was probably typecast.
Apr 27, 2018
Apr 26, 2018
Philosophy explained. For real.
Apr 26, 2018
Apr 25, 2018
Run to The Moth. Allow stories to lighten your load.
Apr 25, 2018
Apr 24, 2018
Stop with the woke. You'll look just as clueless and horrible as everyone else someday.
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 23, 2018
Live forever?
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 22, 2018
Setting goals is almost always important, except in this case
Apr 22, 2018
Apr 21, 2018
Billy Bishop Toronto City Airport is as quirky as it sounds
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 20, 2018
6 regrets
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 19, 2018
Eric Carmen's "Make Me Lose Control" is weird on many, many levels, including being inexplicably stuck in my head.
Apr 19, 2018
Apr 18, 2018
Eleven is evil.
Apr 18, 2018
Apr 17, 2018
A moment of honest-to-goodness terror
Apr 17, 2018
Apr 16, 2018
Worst decisions ever #1: My SportsCenter hat
Apr 16, 2018
Apr 15, 2018
My daughter meets Chelsea Clinton.
Apr 15, 2018
Apr 14, 2018
Why I'm obsessed with that traffic video
Apr 14, 2018
Apr 13, 2018
BOOK LAUNCH PARTY! SAVE THE DATE!
Apr 13, 2018
Apr 13, 2018
Kids say funny (and not so funny) things
Apr 13, 2018
Apr 12, 2018
Try something new. Again and again and again.
Apr 12, 2018
Apr 11, 2018
Evangelicals hate. Jesus would love.
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 11, 2018
Going nowhere
Apr 11, 2018
Apr 9, 2018
Good news/bad news on the exoneration front
Apr 9, 2018
Apr 8, 2018
Snoopy's advice sucks
Apr 8, 2018
Apr 7, 2018
Just a T
Apr 7, 2018
Apr 6, 2018
Yes, they are real eggs
Apr 6, 2018
Apr 5, 2018
The best compliment wasn't about my hair
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 4, 2018
Time spent in the Starbucks drive thru line is not time well spent
Apr 4, 2018
Apr 3, 2018
Republican interns are white.
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 2, 2018
Best and worst April Fools Day ever
Apr 2, 2018
Apr 1, 2018
Resolution update: March 2018
Apr 1, 2018
March 2018
Mar 31, 2018
Traffic might make me a little crazy
Mar 31, 2018
Mar 30, 2018
It's always strange when state-run TV and the President aren't totally in sync
Mar 30, 2018
Mar 29, 2018
International Night: A reminder of what our country can and should be
Mar 29, 2018
Mar 28, 2018
Three continents in a single day
Mar 28, 2018
Mar 27, 2018
Memorizing phone numbers: An artifact of bygone days
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 26, 2018
New Evangelical definition of marriage
Mar 26, 2018
Mar 25, 2018
March For Our Lives 2018
Mar 25, 2018
Mar 24, 2018
Book clubs on boats. Book clubs in cars. Book clubs complete with game shows and nudity.
Mar 24, 2018
Mar 23, 2018
A call to action! Please? Pretty please?
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018
Brand new weapon of mass destruction
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 21, 2018
My first day without my friend
Mar 21, 2018
Mar 20, 2018
Kaleigh 2002-2018
Mar 20, 2018
Mar 19, 2018
23 years lost and nothing offered in return
Mar 19, 2018
Mar 18, 2018
Movies require logic in order to succeed. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri lacked that logic.
Mar 18, 2018
Mar 17, 2018
Joy in the small and the large
Mar 17, 2018
Mar 16, 2018
WeCroak: An app that does what my brain already does
Mar 16, 2018
Mar 15, 2018
CO2 is apparently like candy
Mar 15, 2018
Mar 14, 2018
People stay home when it rains. How stupid.
Mar 14, 2018
Mar 13, 2018
Snow days: One thing I love. One thing I hate.
Mar 13, 2018
Mar 12, 2018
An unusual and exhausting but unforgettable weekend thanks to a July night in 2011
Mar 12, 2018
Mar 11, 2018
The gift of a memory is one of the best gifts of all
Mar 11, 2018
Mar 10, 2018
The Georgia Senate is controlled by bigots in the pocket of the NRA
Mar 10, 2018
Mar 9, 2018
From genius to Bart Simpson
Mar 9, 2018
Mar 8, 2018
Boy vs. Girl: Our 100th episode
Mar 8, 2018
Mar 7, 2018
This is the way to live
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 6, 2018
A sign, a grade book, and a bathtub are just a few of my memories of Hyde School
Mar 6, 2018
Mar 5, 2018
4 good ideas and 4 bad ideas about book clubs
Mar 5, 2018
Mar 4, 2018
Being a jerk and needing food stamps are mutually exclusive conditions
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 3, 2018
I performed in the dark. Without amplification. The results were surprising.
Mar 3, 2018
Mar 2, 2018
One of the best podcast episodes of all time
Mar 2, 2018
Mar 1, 2018
Resolution update: February 2018
Mar 1, 2018
February 2018
Feb 28, 2018
I killed a whale. Also, I played golf in the snow.
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 27, 2018
Anatomy of a friendship: Shep
Feb 27, 2018
Feb 26, 2018
A bit of unsolicited, surely unwanted advice for my millennial friends
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 25, 2018
Robbery fail leads to great cheer and a smidgen of empathy
Feb 25, 2018
Feb 24, 2018
"Once or twice" is the sign of a lie
Feb 24, 2018
Feb 23, 2018
My daughter's art features an unusual and unexpected element
Feb 23, 2018
Feb 22, 2018
The President of the United States relied on scripted empathy
Feb 22, 2018
Feb 21, 2018
Americans want greater gun control. Lawmakers do not.
Feb 21, 2018
Feb 20, 2018
They couldn't play tic-tac-toe because of bandwidth.
Feb 20, 2018
Feb 19, 2018
Meet Antony Borges: American hero and a boy who has done more to curb gun violence in America than all of Congress.
Feb 19, 2018
Feb 18, 2018
Brothers in name only
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 18, 2018
Trump's attempts to gaslight Americans again. And again. And again.
Feb 18, 2018
Feb 17, 2018
My son loves his mother and sister AND NO ONE ELSE.
Feb 17, 2018
Feb 16, 2018
The best birthday gift for a teacher might surprise you
Feb 16, 2018
Feb 15, 2018
It's time to end the hopes and prayers.
Feb 15, 2018
Feb 14, 2018
One of life's most important skills
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 14, 2018
Things I Do #10: I don't look at airline pilots
Feb 14, 2018
Feb 13, 2018
A reasonable response to anti-vaxxers
Feb 13, 2018
Feb 12, 2018
Chuck Todd's litany of vile and shameful events is worth watching
Feb 12, 2018
Feb 11, 2018
Moth StorySLAM: Clara Wants a Sister
Feb 11, 2018
Feb 10, 2018
My wife and kids slow me down. Gloriously so.
Feb 10, 2018
Feb 7, 2018
Trump can't be banned from Twitter, but then he shouldn't be able to block me, either.
Feb 7, 2018
Feb 6, 2018
It hurts to ask sometimes.
Feb 6, 2018
Feb 5, 2018
There was a time in this country when Dads knew more than kids
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 4, 2018
$1.50 and a deleted tweet says everything you need to know.
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 3, 2018
The offer of a golden toilet seems just right
Feb 3, 2018
Feb 2, 2018
Four books in two months has been challenging, and this isn't helping.
Feb 2, 2018
Feb 1, 2018
Resolution update: January 2018
Feb 1, 2018
January 2018
Jan 31, 2018
This video has aged badly. Very, very badly.
Jan 31, 2018
Jan 30, 2018
You're a writer? A real writer?
Jan 30, 2018
Jan 29, 2018
Save money. Pee on this page.
Jan 29, 2018
Jan 28, 2018
I love this and hate this.
Jan 28, 2018
Jan 27, 2018
Our boy watches Star Wars for the first time
Jan 27, 2018
Jan 26, 2018
The hardest and best apology
Jan 26, 2018
Jan 25, 2018
Stop getting older, little girl.
Jan 25, 2018
Jan 24, 2018
It's 9:00 on a Saturday...
Jan 24, 2018
Jan 23, 2018
Five sausages and a good story
Jan 23, 2018
Jan 22, 2018
It's a wonder I get anything done
Jan 22, 2018
Jan 21, 2018
Women's March 2018
Jan 21, 2018
Jan 20, 2018
Are my books a window into my soul?
Jan 20, 2018
Jan 19, 2018
When I launched my DJ career, it was ancient times
Jan 19, 2018
Jan 18, 2018
I learned about "onset" this week
Jan 18, 2018
Jan 17, 2018
Pickle smooch?
Jan 17, 2018
Jan 16, 2018
48,762 is a completely unacceptable number
Jan 16, 2018
Jan 15, 2018
My kind of protest
Jan 15, 2018
Jan 14, 2018
Don't be a jerk face, parents and teachers.
Jan 14, 2018
Jan 13, 2018
One tweet. Four deliberate, purposeful lies.
Jan 13, 2018
Jan 12, 2018
These are the kinds of words that Americans yearn to hear
Jan 12, 2018
Jan 11, 2018
Two impressive people
Jan 11, 2018
Jan 10, 2018
This punishment may have gone too far.
Jan 10, 2018
Jan 9, 2018
"I'll do the salmon" is stupid. I might be, too.
Jan 9, 2018
Jan 8, 2018
A bunch of old, white men are determining the course of our nation
Jan 8, 2018
Jan 7, 2018
What will be written on your tombstone?
Jan 7, 2018
Jan 6, 2018
This Trump tweet is 50 words long but says so much more.
Jan 6, 2018
Jan 5, 2018
One of these things is not like the other
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 4, 2018
Bruce and Clarence sharing a kiss, over and over and over again
Jan 4, 2018
Jan 3, 2018
Hire that kid today!
Jan 3, 2018
Jan 2, 2018
New Year's resolutions: 2018
Jan 2, 2018
Jan 1, 2018
Resolution update: 2017 in review
Jan 1, 2018
December 2017
Dec 31, 2017
New Year's Eve 1993
Dec 31, 2017
Dec 30, 2017
The last one had better be the best one.
Dec 30, 2017
Dec 29, 2017
Writing a novel is hard enough already. I don't need these additional challenges.
Dec 29, 2017
Dec 28, 2017
HBO had some interesting offerings on Christmas Eve
Dec 28, 2017
Dec 27, 2017
My 2017 Christmas haul
Dec 27, 2017
Dec 26, 2017
Any gift that includes murder, blood, and betrayal is perfect in my book
Dec 26, 2017
Dec 25, 2017
Lest us not forget the real story of Christmas
Dec 25, 2017
Dec 24, 2017
I was a coward. I'm filled with regret.
Dec 24, 2017
Dec 23, 2017
Penguins were mating at a little girl's birthday party
Dec 23, 2017
Dec 22, 2017
Trump isn't fit to clean toilets
Dec 22, 2017
Dec 21, 2017
Awful human being alert
Dec 21, 2017
Dec 20, 2017
All I want for Christmas is a machine gun
Dec 20, 2017
Dec 19, 2017
When cowards hide behind digital walls and hurl grenades...
Dec 19, 2017
Dec 18, 2017
Some mistakes are worse than others
Dec 18, 2017
Dec 17, 2017
I talked to a stranger every day for a month. Here is what happened.
Dec 17, 2017
Dec 16, 2017
How I delivered an inspirational talk at a human trafficking conference (while knowing nothing about human trafficking)
Dec 16, 2017
Dec 15, 2017
My students are threatening the sanctity of our future
Dec 15, 2017
Dec 14, 2017
A sign. A tee-shirt. A business opportunity. A business partner.
Dec 14, 2017
Dec 13, 2017
Comeuppance!
Dec 13, 2017
Dec 12, 2017
I missed so much of '90's culture. Unfortunately?
Dec 12, 2017
Dec 11, 2017
Please don't let the Trump administration change your perception of history
Dec 11, 2017
Dec 10, 2017
If you enjoy a glass floor, don't forget to look down and thank your lucky stars
Dec 10, 2017
Dec 9, 2017
Things I do #12: I worry about people mentioned in songs who are frozen in time.
Dec 9, 2017
Dec 8, 2017
Things that make me cry
Dec 8, 2017
Dec 7, 2017
Setting goals for 2018
Dec 7, 2017
Dec 6, 2017
You can't be "useless after 8:00 PM" if you want to be productive
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 5, 2017
Americans would never allow someone like Roy Moore to work alongside them. Except for Republican Senators, of course.
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 4, 2017
Fun fact: My wife and I both attended all-women’s colleges
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 2, 2017
Unfair assumption #31: Book banners are stupid people
Dec 2, 2017
November 2017
Nov 30, 2017
The Ugly Duckling sucks
Nov 30, 2017
Nov 29, 2017
Dan Kennedy is right. Reach out to people whose work means the world to you.
Nov 29, 2017
Nov 28, 2017
How can you possibly have so many stories?
Nov 28, 2017
Nov 27, 2017
Things I do #11: I get angry at the other versions of me.
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 26, 2017
5 things that you can do to help me sell books (and one unusual thing that I do)
Nov 26, 2017
Nov 25, 2017
Cats and writers don't mix
Nov 25, 2017
Nov 24, 2017
The wealthy are often playing an entirely different game than the rest of us.
Nov 24, 2017
Nov 23, 2017
On this Thanksgiving, I choose to be thankful to Taryn.
Nov 23, 2017
Nov 22, 2017
I performed stand up comedy for the first time for one very important reason.
Nov 22, 2017
Nov 20, 2017
Crazy just got crazier (if that was possible)
Nov 20, 2017
Nov 19, 2017
Be kind to yourself. Celebrate your accomplishments. Have wild sex.
Nov 19, 2017
Nov 17, 2017
The Republican tax bill is legitimately but expectedly evil. These two tidbits are surprisingly evil.
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 16, 2017
Take a cold shower every day.
Nov 16, 2017
Nov 15, 2017
Recline at your own risk
Nov 15, 2017
Nov 14, 2017
When you think the awful cover is the original song
Nov 14, 2017
Nov 13, 2017
Just last week, ALL THIS happened...
Nov 13, 2017
Nov 12, 2017
I prayed for a full month. Here is what happened.
Nov 12, 2017
Nov 11, 2017
An only slightly satirical nod to 1980's sitcoms
Nov 11, 2017
Nov 10, 2017
Things I Do #10: I don't look at airline pilots
Nov 10, 2017
Nov 9, 2017
I've been told that I'm going to hell. I'm not sure I agree.
Nov 9, 2017
Nov 8, 2017
Vin Scully's boycott of the NFL is stupid
Nov 8, 2017
Nov 6, 2017
Daylight Saving should be celebrated (or eliminated)
Nov 6, 2017
Nov 5, 2017
Damn fine answer, Yasmin.
Nov 5, 2017
Nov 4, 2017
Bill Murray was wrong. Groundhog Day is AMAZING.
Nov 4, 2017
Nov 2, 2017
Peruvian beauty pageant contestants steal a moment
Nov 2, 2017
Nov 1, 2017
Resolution Update: October 2017
Nov 1, 2017
October 2017
Oct 31, 2017
Is God now here, or is God nowhere?
Oct 31, 2017
Oct 30, 2017
The 14 women who have accused Trump of sexual harassment or assault
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 29, 2017
Two things that will produce amazing results.
Oct 29, 2017
Oct 28, 2017
A high opinion of your own opinion is a very good thing
Oct 28, 2017
Oct 27, 2017
My kids were sweet and lovely this week. Don't try to tell me otherwise.
Oct 27, 2017
Oct 26, 2017
As long as you're not as sexually repressed as the Vice President, the gender-neutral restroom is working just fine
Oct 26, 2017
Oct 25, 2017
Lyric Problems: Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven is a Place on Earth"
Oct 25, 2017
Oct 24, 2017
Guest post: Daniel Dale's Twitter feed
Oct 24, 2017
Oct 23, 2017
I want a little signage, damn it.
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 22, 2017
Just the kind of conversation I want before sunrise
Oct 22, 2017
Oct 21, 2017
The men's restroom: All I want is a little consistency, please...
Oct 21, 2017
Oct 20, 2017
Earning his keep
Oct 20, 2017
Oct 19, 2017
When will she die?
Oct 19, 2017
Oct 18, 2017
Two word horror story
Oct 18, 2017
Oct 17, 2017
Free Dive
Oct 17, 2017
Oct 16, 2017
Julian Edleman changes everything!
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 15, 2017
Sibling love is a strange and varied thing
Oct 15, 2017
Oct 14, 2017
Complacency kills.
Oct 14, 2017
Oct 13, 2017
Lyric Problems: Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe"
Oct 13, 2017
Oct 12, 2017
"Don't you dare..." are words most frequently uttered by morons
Oct 12, 2017
Oct 11, 2017
This is not the Jesus you learned about in Sunday School
Oct 11, 2017
Oct 10, 2017
Why I say unpopular things
Oct 10, 2017
Oct 9, 2017
Feline barrier to creativity
Oct 9, 2017
Oct 8, 2017
Signs should not have attitudes. They should also be grammatically correct.
Oct 8, 2017
Oct 7, 2017
Trump's boycott list does not make America great at all
Oct 7, 2017
Oct 6, 2017
Things I Do #9: I avoid The Sound of Music
Oct 6, 2017
Oct 5, 2017
I hate problems. Not everyone feels the same.
Oct 5, 2017
Oct 4, 2017
One of our cats is much better than the other.
Oct 4, 2017
Oct 3, 2017
On a day of tragedy, a little hope.
Oct 3, 2017
Oct 2, 2017
Resolution update: September 2017
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 1, 2017
Daddy is Mommy GPS
Oct 1, 2017
September 2017
Sep 30, 2017
Lyric Problems: Rachel Platten's "I'll Stand By You"
Sep 30, 2017
Sep 29, 2017
Someone wrote a song about me! About me!
Sep 29, 2017
Sep 28, 2017
A Trump supporter has found his bridge-too-far, and it's pathetic
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 27, 2017
Practice makes perfect
Sep 27, 2017
Sep 26, 2017
Would I ever take a knee in protest during the national anthem?
Sep 26, 2017
Sep 25, 2017
My favorite piece of paper
Sep 25, 2017
Sep 24, 2017
Republicans don't read The Bible
Sep 24, 2017
Sep 24, 2017
Never call it a "side hustle."
Sep 24, 2017
Sep 23, 2017
Lyric Problems: Van Halen's "Jump"
Sep 23, 2017
Sep 21, 2017
For the first time in his life, my son cried because of a book.
Sep 21, 2017
Sep 20, 2017
Quite possibly the worst person in the world
Sep 20, 2017
Sep 19, 2017
Share your failures with the world
Sep 19, 2017
Sep 18, 2017
Our dream-come-true comes to an end. A new chapter begins today.
Sep 18, 2017
Sep 17, 2017
A Columbian tradition that I will make my own
Sep 17, 2017
Sep 16, 2017
The fade out (and fade in) explained.
Sep 16, 2017
Sep 15, 2017
Mystery machine
Sep 15, 2017
Sep 14, 2017
Teaching is full of unexpected surprises
Sep 14, 2017
Sep 13, 2017
TEDx Pomfret: It's Not the Curriculum
Sep 13, 2017
Sep 12, 2017
A serious commitment to golf
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 11, 2017
An untimely poop and a blocked toilet lead to magic.
Sep 11, 2017
Sep 10, 2017
My favorite billboard
Sep 10, 2017
Sep 9, 2017
I am not talented.
Sep 9, 2017
Sep 8, 2017
When you tell your girlfriend via text that you wrote her a poem...
Sep 8, 2017
Sep 7, 2017
A sad, retired, perhaps unstable man
Sep 7, 2017
Sep 6, 2017
My son thinks I'm a golfing god
Sep 6, 2017
Sep 5, 2017
Time to break the law on behalf of Harriet Tubman
Sep 5, 2017
Sep 4, 2017
How do you juggle so many balls at once? The answer is simple.
Sep 4, 2017
Sep 3, 2017
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2017
Sep 3, 2017
Sep 2, 2017
Trump's "real" job numbers
Sep 2, 2017
Sep 1, 2017
Resolution update: August 2017
Sep 1, 2017
August 2017
Aug 31, 2017
Quite the catch
Aug 31, 2017
Aug 30, 2017
Stretch your summer
Aug 30, 2017
Aug 29, 2017
A little girl, a Supreme Court justice, and courage
Aug 29, 2017
Aug 28, 2017
A fitting end to a new beginning
Aug 28, 2017
Aug 27, 2017
Things I Do #8: I plant pennies heads-up
Aug 27, 2017
Aug 26, 2017
Northeast School is a stupid name for a school. Three times over.
Aug 26, 2017
Aug 25, 2017
'80's John Hughes villain comes alive
Aug 25, 2017
Aug 24, 2017
Forest Man is the best man
Aug 24, 2017
Aug 23, 2017
Boy and bear
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017
This is what a free and excellent media looks like
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 22, 2017
The eclipse was underwhelming and a little boring. I wish it happened more often.
Aug 22, 2017
Aug 21, 2017
The ineffectiveness of signage
Aug 21, 2017
Aug 20, 2017
Don't forget.
Aug 20, 2017
Aug 19, 2017
A possible (though not advised) replacement for heart medication
Aug 19, 2017
Aug 18, 2017
Thoughts on hiring
Aug 18, 2017
Aug 17, 2017
Tyrion Lannister got it right.
Aug 17, 2017
Aug 16, 2017
This, too, shall pass.
Aug 16, 2017
Aug 15, 2017
I don't sleep like a robot. Or Frankenstein. Do I?
Aug 15, 2017
Aug 14, 2017
Religious folk shouldn't be filled with so much hate
Aug 14, 2017
Aug 13, 2017
Heather Heyer: Patriot and hero of the first order
Aug 13, 2017
Aug 12, 2017
A restroom sign need not indicate the activity that takes place therein.
Aug 12, 2017
Aug 11, 2017
Teachers: Writers never write one thing at a time. Stop ruining children.
Aug 11, 2017
Aug 10, 2017
A note on meetings
Aug 10, 2017
Aug 9, 2017
Genital usage restrictions must be adhered to at all times
Aug 9, 2017
Aug 8, 2017
So many jokes. Such little ears.
Aug 8, 2017
Aug 7, 2017
Disconnect the easy way.
Aug 7, 2017
Aug 6, 2017
Just listen to this. Please.
Aug 6, 2017
Aug 5, 2017
Not unisex. Omnisex.
Aug 5, 2017
Aug 4, 2017
Commitment, persistence, and practice can look a lot like talent. Don't be fooled.
Aug 4, 2017
Aug 3, 2017
Call it a lie when it's a lie.
Aug 3, 2017
Aug 2, 2017
I wrote on an island. Under a tree. In the middle of a parking lot.
Aug 2, 2017
Aug 1, 2017
Resolution Update: July 2017
Aug 1, 2017
July 2017
Jul 31, 2017
There are six seasons. Not four.
Jul 31, 2017
Jul 30, 2017
So many white people
Jul 30, 2017
Jul 29, 2017
Sleeping babies: Less shame. More sleep.
Jul 29, 2017
Jul 28, 2017
Republican Congressmen threaten female Senators with violence. This is not normal.
Jul 28, 2017
Jul 27, 2017
I never saw The Ramones in concert. It kills me.
Jul 27, 2017
Jul 26, 2017
Check your privilege at the door
Jul 26, 2017
Jul 25, 2017
Trump stomped on tradition at the 2017 Boy Scout National Jamboree.
Jul 25, 2017
Jul 24, 2017
The Macarena is fine. It's these two songs that I despise.
Jul 24, 2017
Jul 23, 2017
Why I am still a wedding DJ after 20 years
Jul 23, 2017
Jul 22, 2017
The New York Times use of honorifics must end.
Jul 22, 2017
Jul 21, 2017
I was offered a full scholarship at Yale, and I passed.
Jul 21, 2017
Jul 20, 2017
A whole lot of beauty
Jul 20, 2017
Jul 19, 2017
I am successful because I am white.
Jul 19, 2017
Jul 18, 2017
Thinking is a part of the writing process, damn it
Jul 18, 2017
Jul 17, 2017
This is how every employee should be treated
Jul 17, 2017
Jul 16, 2017
Happy anniversary to us.
Jul 16, 2017
Jul 15, 2017
A boy and a book in Columbia
Jul 15, 2017
Jul 15, 2017
Trump makes my head hurt
Jul 15, 2017
Jul 14, 2017
Someone remind my children that I pay the mortgage
Jul 14, 2017
Jul 13, 2017
Republican men decide that women can't wear sleeveless dresses because they are apparently afraid of lady shoulders
Jul 13, 2017
Jul 12, 2017
Donald Trump has blocked me on Twitter
Jul 12, 2017
Jul 11, 2017
Fill your life with young people
Jul 11, 2017
Jul 10, 2017
What are you doing that scares you?
Jul 10, 2017
Jul 9, 2017
Sharing your vacation photos is lovely, but how about some wisdom and insight to go along with it?
Jul 9, 2017
Jul 8, 2017
"They call me Matt."
Jul 8, 2017
Jul 7, 2017
Rick Perry didn't understand the Department that he now runs, but he REALLY doesn't understand basic economic theory
Jul 7, 2017
Jul 6, 2017
You have to admire a church willing to take this kind of literary stand
Jul 6, 2017
Jul 5, 2017
I stand opposed to applauding when the people responsible for the source of the applause are not present.
Jul 5, 2017
Jul 4, 2017
The NRA: Important facts to remember before their crazy attack ads scare the hell out of you.
Jul 4, 2017
Jul 3, 2017
We knew exactly what we were getting.
Jul 3, 2017
Jul 2, 2017
Reputation matters even more when the world is small.
Jul 2, 2017
Jul 1, 2017
Resolution update June 2017
Jul 1, 2017
June 2017
Jun 30, 2017
My summer vacation started with pain and fear. Then one man made it better.
Jun 30, 2017
Jun 29, 2017
Boys in skirts
Jun 29, 2017
Jun 28, 2017
I don't have T-rex arms, but if I did, it would be for a very good reason.
Jun 28, 2017
Jun 27, 2017
A summer camp has adopted my restriction on commenting on physical appearance, and I'm thrilled.
Jun 27, 2017
Jun 26, 2017
Greatest badass of all time
Jun 26, 2017
Jun 25, 2017
Dumb school officials make dumb decision
Jun 25, 2017
Jun 24, 2017
Last Man Standing
Jun 24, 2017
Jun 23, 2017
Hermit crabs could teach US politicians a thing or two
Jun 23, 2017
Jun 22, 2017
"All gender" restroom signs are the best
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 21, 2017
Democratic Republic of the Congo, of course!
Jun 21, 2017
Jun 20, 2017
Heroes have a way of making you realize how small-minded and ungrateful you have been.
Jun 20, 2017
Jun 19, 2017
Shameful Betsy DeVos can't say what most human beings can say with ease
Jun 19, 2017
Jun 18, 2017
Suck less
Jun 18, 2017
Jun 18, 2017
Not all sources of inspiration are equal
Jun 18, 2017
Jun 16, 2017
Sleeps like her daddy
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 15, 2017
If you are reading this, it is very likely that you don't deserve the fourth cookie
Jun 15, 2017
Jun 14, 2017
The things I get done while sleepwalking
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 13, 2017
Wherever you stand on the political spectrum, you have to admire and hopefully agree with everything that James Comey says here during last week's hearings.
Jun 13, 2017
Jun 12, 2017
Why indeed.
Jun 12, 2017
Jun 11, 2017
How to Save a Boy
Jun 11, 2017
Jun 10, 2017
My home state's stupidly misspelled word, and some confusion about misspelling related to pornography
Jun 10, 2017
Jun 9, 2017
I wish my students would accuse me of a war crime
Jun 9, 2017
Jun 8, 2017
17 rules I break
Jun 8, 2017
Jun 7, 2017
My children's personal ten commandments are beautiful, heart wrenching, and completely applicable.
Jun 7, 2017
Jun 6, 2017
Rachel Platten has it all wrong when it comes to truth and faith, and I have no idea why.
Jun 6, 2017
Jun 5, 2017
Change happens slowly, methodically, and daily. Most people refuse to accept this.
Jun 5, 2017
Jun 4, 2017
Increased degree of difficulty is not appreciated
Jun 4, 2017
Jun 3, 2017
Didn't exist in 2005
Jun 3, 2017
Jun 2, 2017
RIP Uncle Harry
Jun 2, 2017
Jun 1, 2017
Resolution update: May 2017
Jun 1, 2017
May 2017
May 31, 2017
My friends know me better than I do. Also, my ophthalmologist doesn't know me at all.
May 31, 2017
May 30, 2017
I don't like the way I look.
May 30, 2017
May 29, 2017
Fear not. This is not an example of bigotry as I initially thought. It's simply stupidity.
May 29, 2017
May 28, 2017
Our cats are not perfect.
May 28, 2017
May 27, 2017
You're standing on a cliff, too...
May 27, 2017
May 26, 2017
Ray of light
May 26, 2017
May 25, 2017
Even in the darkest of times, you can find pinpricks of light. Here are a few from this week.
May 25, 2017
May 24, 2017
"Begs the question" brings joy to my heart. Rarely.
May 24, 2017
May 23, 2017
Worst obituary ever. Greatest correction ever.
May 23, 2017
May 22, 2017
A simple explanation of public opinion
May 22, 2017
May 21, 2017
Seven and counting...
May 21, 2017
May 20, 2017
Be happy for rule breakers
May 20, 2017
May 19, 2017
Baseball players are damn cowards
May 19, 2017
May 18, 2017
The Moth: The Robbery
May 18, 2017
May 17, 2017
Let's do this.
May 17, 2017
May 16, 2017
I choose to remember by aunt Diane in a way I never got to see her.
May 16, 2017
May 15, 2017
The Two-Day Rule: A means by which I have become more productive and trusted.
May 15, 2017
May 14, 2017
Verbal sparring: Don't allow your opponent (Trump) prescribe beliefs to you
May 14, 2017
May 13, 2017
One man. Two dozen women. A bunch of interesting questions.
May 13, 2017
May 12, 2017
Shorter is almost always better
May 12, 2017
May 11, 2017
Best tweet ever
May 11, 2017
May 10, 2017
Incompetent, racist, or both?
May 10, 2017
May 9, 2017
I don't like teachers who act like jerks
May 9, 2017
May 8, 2017
I made an old lady cry. I asked if I was wrong. Readers responded.
May 8, 2017
May 7, 2017
Things I Do #7: I cut corners
May 7, 2017
May 6, 2017
My three greatest acts of storytelling cruelty
May 6, 2017
May 5, 2017
How to improve church attendance
May 5, 2017
May 4, 2017
I may learn to bake if it's always this cute
May 4, 2017
May 4, 2017
Financial PTSD: The perfect description of a persistent affliction
May 4, 2017
May 2, 2017
Fantastic or terrible?
May 2, 2017
May 1, 2017
Resolution update: April 2017
May 1, 2017
April 2017
Apr 30, 2017
A strong opinion on the onion volcano
Apr 30, 2017
Apr 29, 2017
Desperately seeking trouble
Apr 29, 2017
Apr 28, 2017
Bad day
Apr 28, 2017
Apr 27, 2017
I made an old woman cry. Was I wrong?
Apr 27, 2017
Apr 25, 2017
Demanding "a seat at the table" doesn't strike me as very demanding
Apr 25, 2017
Apr 24, 2017
I don't teach mindfulness. Don't ever accuse me of teaching mindfulness. Here's why.
Apr 24, 2017
Apr 23, 2017
The law of choice in dating (and a call for the end of tribalism)
Apr 23, 2017
Apr 22, 2017
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend fan art
Apr 22, 2017
Apr 21, 2017
The essence of a New England Patriots fan and a Bostonian in 5 tweets.
Apr 21, 2017
Apr 20, 2017
School lunch shaming needs to stop. Simple solution: Adults need to stop acting despicable.
Apr 20, 2017
Apr 19, 2017
The next time you need to go into battle...
Apr 19, 2017
Apr 18, 2017
Warning: Women with handbags crossing
Apr 18, 2017
Apr 17, 2017
A tribute to Carrie Fisher
Apr 17, 2017
Apr 16, 2017
How Can You Help Students Cope With Getting College Rejection Letters?
Apr 16, 2017
Apr 15, 2017
New policy: Transform a meeting into an actual meeting.
Apr 15, 2017
Apr 14, 2017
Things I Do #6: I touch bricks
Apr 14, 2017
Apr 13, 2017
The one thing about Sean Spicer's recent bout of stupidity that I haven't heard mentioned
Apr 13, 2017
Apr 12, 2017
How to identify passive voice
Apr 12, 2017
Apr 11, 2017
United Airlines is its own worst enemy. They need help. I have offered.
Apr 11, 2017
Apr 10, 2017
People misspeak. When their words are bigoted or sexist, we automatically condemn. We should think twice.
Apr 10, 2017
Apr 9, 2017
Current career listing: Perhaps you require my services and just don't know it yet.
Apr 9, 2017
Apr 8, 2017
When I was my daughter's age, I did not know that the Supreme Court existed. Her knowledge is slightly more expansive.
Apr 8, 2017
Apr 7, 2017
Decoding century labels shouldn't be this difficult
Apr 7, 2017
Apr 6, 2017
Sleeping less is not the secret to my productivity. Television is.
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 5, 2017
19 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was 20
Apr 5, 2017
Apr 4, 2017
Rogue One on VHS: A taste of the perfect childhood
Apr 4, 2017
Apr 3, 2017
If your schedule your meeting for one hour, and then your meeting lasts exactly one hour, you have failed.
Apr 3, 2017
Apr 2, 2017
Be happy. Judge on intent.
Apr 2, 2017
Apr 1, 2017
Resolution update: March 2017
Apr 1, 2017
March 2017
Mar 31, 2017
Simplify your life. Just love everyone. Even if you're a bigot.
Mar 31, 2017
Mar 30, 2017
When is complaining acceptable?
Mar 30, 2017
Mar 29, 2017
My less-than-private, not-so-well-appointed office
Mar 29, 2017
Mar 28, 2017
Moments like this make me think that perhaps there's a higher power after all
Mar 28, 2017
Mar 27, 2017
We adopted two cats. Our kids' reaction was... unexpected.
Mar 27, 2017
Mar 26, 2017
Meals on Wheels: My grandparents (and science) understand the importance for this program
Mar 26, 2017
Mar 25, 2017
Beautiful but temporary: Why would an artist ever choose such a fleeting medium?
Mar 25, 2017
Mar 24, 2017
A bunch of white men apparently too stupid to realize that they are all white men.
Mar 24, 2017
Mar 23, 2017
Famous people who I've met thanks to storytelling
Mar 23, 2017
Mar 22, 2017
The things kids say...
Mar 22, 2017
Mar 21, 2017
Your compliments about physical appearance are meaningless. Try these instead.
Mar 21, 2017
Mar 20, 2017
The 6 levels of humility
Mar 20, 2017
Mar 19, 2017
What I try to teach my girls
Mar 19, 2017
Mar 18, 2017
Change can happen quickly. If you allow it.
Mar 18, 2017
Mar 17, 2017
I'm never this angry. I swear.
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 16, 2017
Details matter. They matter a hell of a lot.
Mar 16, 2017
Mar 15, 2017
Say no to "more details."
Mar 15, 2017
Mar 14, 2017
It is only snow and nothing more.
Mar 14, 2017
Mar 13, 2017
Stories are so damn important.
Mar 13, 2017
Mar 12, 2017
End the scourge of the additional anus
Mar 12, 2017
Mar 11, 2017
Rules of Self Praise by the Brilliant and Handsome Matthew Dicks
Mar 11, 2017
Mar 10, 2017
Only in New York
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 9, 2017
Michael Bloomberg on succeeding in business
Mar 9, 2017
Mar 8, 2017
I broke my promise to my wife: The origin story of The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Mar 8, 2017
Mar 7, 2017
In case you missed it, an important comment from a reader
Mar 7, 2017
Mar 6, 2017
I fear that this sentiment may be in short supply today.
Mar 6, 2017
Mar 5, 2017
Critics of food stamps need to experience a childhood of hunger
Mar 5, 2017
Mar 4, 2017
A sign attached to a vending machine accurately describes the emotional state of many Americans
Mar 4, 2017
Mar 3, 2017
Joy is the willingness to show your underwear on a roller coaster
Mar 3, 2017
Mar 2, 2017
I failed the "Where do babies come from?" question, but only because my son is a biology nerd.
Mar 2, 2017
Mar 1, 2017
Resolution update: February 2017
Mar 1, 2017
February 2017
Feb 28, 2017
Unfair assumption #30: CVS shopping carts were not made to be filled.
Feb 28, 2017
Feb 27, 2017
Good ideas are a dime a dozen. Never settle.
Feb 27, 2017
Feb 26, 2017
The Education Secretary is knowingly endangering children
Feb 26, 2017
Feb 25, 2017
Tiny moments like this is why I teach
Feb 25, 2017
Feb 24, 2017
I was stupid when I was young.
Feb 24, 2017
Feb 23, 2017
The glory and might of a good old fashioned pillow fight
Feb 23, 2017
Feb 22, 2017
Men who grumble about jeans and sweaters are stupid.
Feb 22, 2017
Feb 21, 2017
The Internet has certainly evolved in the last 20 years
Feb 21, 2017
Feb 20, 2017
5 things to remember when bemoaning the proliferation of casual dress in America.
Feb 20, 2017
Feb 19, 2017
Trump called the media "the enemy of the American people." This could not be further from the truth.
Feb 19, 2017
Feb 18, 2017
Three types of people who people hate
Feb 18, 2017
Feb 17, 2017
Watch this.
Feb 17, 2017
Feb 16, 2017
My daughter embraces respectful dissent and nonconformity. Even in the face of Trump.
Feb 16, 2017
Feb 15, 2017
The real answer to "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Feb 15, 2017
Feb 14, 2017
Before you criticize the Superintendent for a snow day decision, consider this.
Feb 14, 2017
Feb 13, 2017
Trumpian typos abound - and frighten me to death
Feb 13, 2017
Feb 12, 2017
Brother and Sister Day
Feb 12, 2017
Feb 11, 2017
Got kids? Here's how to turn them into writers.
Feb 11, 2017
Feb 10, 2017
Follow this rule. Change your life.
Feb 10, 2017
Feb 9, 2017
Victory brownies and the definition of fandom and friendship
Feb 9, 2017
Feb 8, 2017
15 piece of advice from Elizabeth Sampat
Feb 8, 2017
Feb 5, 2017
My daughter, the eccentric artist
Feb 5, 2017
Feb 4, 2017
I spent $15,000 while I was sleepwalking.
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 3, 2017
Verbal sparring: Never tell someone to do something that they can ignore
Feb 3, 2017
Feb 2, 2017
The Lincoln Memorial. In blocks.
Feb 2, 2017
Feb 1, 2017
Resolution update: January 2017
Feb 1, 2017
January 2017
Jan 31, 2017
9 Specific Steps to Standing Against Donald Trump
Jan 31, 2017
Jan 30, 2017
A very sweet boy who wants to see your insides
Jan 30, 2017
Jan 29, 2017
The 5 Stages of an Author's Reaction to Editorial Notes
Jan 29, 2017
Jan 28, 2017
This hateful Muslim Ban must end now.
Jan 28, 2017
Jan 27, 2017
I lost a "friend" this week in an interesting, baffling, and amusing way
Jan 27, 2017
Jan 26, 2017
Something to think about as Trump closes our borders to refugees
Jan 26, 2017
Jan 25, 2017
I'm fairly certain I would hate this person if we met
Jan 25, 2017
Jan 24, 2017
One person is listening. Perhaps more, but at least one. I'm so pleased.
Jan 24, 2017
Jan 23, 2017
Things I Do #5: We say my name first
Jan 23, 2017
Jan 22, 2017
Psychology of true friends
Jan 22, 2017
Jan 21, 2017
The Today Show: Educational television at its best
Jan 21, 2017
Jan 20, 2017
Our President is a sex offender or pretends to be a sex offender.
Jan 20, 2017
Jan 19, 2017
A short-sighted and fairly presumptuous name
Jan 19, 2017
Jan 18, 2017
I might know more about education than Trump's nominee for Education Secretary.
Jan 18, 2017
Jan 17, 2017
Find something to be this excited and happy about...
Jan 17, 2017
Jan 16, 2017
Unfair assumption #29: Football fans are more effective in emergencies
Jan 16, 2017
Jan 15, 2017
Springsteen on parents (and perhaps a path to my salvation)
Jan 15, 2017
Jan 14, 2017
The best thing about my wife's family might surprise you (but shouldn't)
Jan 14, 2017
Jan 13, 2017
Little Guy Defeats Big Guy
Jan 13, 2017
Jan 12, 2017
Spare your parental advice unless you know how to give parental advice
Jan 12, 2017
Jan 11, 2017
On rare and special occasions, darkness can breed such light. This is one such occasion.
Jan 11, 2017
Jan 10, 2017
How many phone numbers do you know?
Jan 10, 2017
Jan 9, 2017
The countdown begins...
Jan 9, 2017
Jan 8, 2017
This correction could only be found in a New York Times wedding announcement
Jan 8, 2017
Jan 7, 2017
Best introduction ever
Jan 7, 2017
Jan 6, 2017
Some mistakes are larger than others
Jan 6, 2017
Jan 5, 2017
This is the worst thing you can do to a storyteller
Jan 5, 2017
Jan 4, 2017
Things I Do #4: I drive like a teenager
Jan 4, 2017
Jan 3, 2017
In defense of editors
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 2, 2017
A small bit of marital advice
Jan 2, 2017
Jan 1, 2017
Dick Clark is dead. He is sorely missed.
Jan 1, 2017
Jan 1, 2017
New Year's resolutions: 2017
Jan 1, 2017
December 2016
Dec 31, 2016
Resolution update: 2016 in review
Dec 31, 2016
Dec 30, 2016
What is wrong with Queens?
Dec 30, 2016
Dec 30, 2016
My 2016 Christmas haul
Dec 30, 2016
Dec 29, 2016
Unfair assumption #28: Parents who threaten to disown their children based upon their marital choices are the lowest form of human life.
Dec 29, 2016
Dec 29, 2016
In regards to Russian hacking: "I think we ought to get on with our lives." Also, word salad.
Dec 29, 2016
Dec 28, 2016
Bottle flipping: I gave it a month. Here are my thoughts.
Dec 28, 2016
Dec 27, 2016
"Merry Christmas" is perfectly fine. But the existence of Jews should not be a secret.
Dec 27, 2016
Dec 26, 2016
The truth about red meat (and an ugly truth about me)
Dec 26, 2016
Dec 25, 2016
Bruce Springsteen understands the cliff. Do you?
Dec 25, 2016
Dec 24, 2016
When someone suggests that we give Donald Trump a chance, say this.
Dec 24, 2016
Dec 23, 2016
Why I cry when looking at old photographs like this.
Dec 23, 2016
Dec 22, 2016
If you forbid jeans at your place of business, you're not thinking straight. You might even be a coward.
Dec 22, 2016
Dec 21, 2016
I went to the bathroom alongside a bunch of ladies, and something surprising happened.
Dec 21, 2016
Dec 20, 2016
The perils of the road
Dec 20, 2016
Dec 19, 2016
My problem with honorifics
Dec 19, 2016
Dec 18, 2016
Driving in cars (and planes) with complete strangers
Dec 18, 2016
Dec 17, 2016
Gas stations suck (at least in this regard)
Dec 17, 2016
Dec 16, 2016
Truth about meetings (at least most of them)
Dec 16, 2016
Dec 15, 2016
The three worst things ever
Dec 15, 2016
Dec 14, 2016
My favorite sentence of the year
Dec 14, 2016
Dec 13, 2016
Cousin Oliver sucked.
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 12, 2016
This is a thing.
Dec 12, 2016
Dec 11, 2016
Meditation and McDonald's
Dec 11, 2016
Dec 10, 2016
One of the best comebacks I've heard in a while
Dec 10, 2016
Dec 9, 2016
Trump's two possible views of sexual assault
Dec 9, 2016
Dec 8, 2016
Dan Kennedy on life and the nature of success
Dec 8, 2016
Dec 7, 2016
I drink Diet Coke. Now do me a favor and shut up about it.
Dec 7, 2016
Dec 6, 2016
I fought off a pit bull in order to save my dog's life. This guy did one better.
Dec 6, 2016
Dec 5, 2016
Daily affirmations don't work (for me, at least)
Dec 5, 2016
Dec 4, 2016
Which is funnier? Saturday Night Live? Trump's response to SNL? Alec Baldwin's response to Trump?
Dec 4, 2016
Dec 3, 2016
How I stand against the vile, intolerant, hateful speech and policy proposals of the President-elect (and how you can, too)
Dec 3, 2016
Dec 2, 2016
A little spot of joy.
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 1, 2016
Resolution update: November 2016
Dec 1, 2016
November 2016
Nov 30, 2016
How Can I Pick My Favorite Day?
Nov 30, 2016
Nov 29, 2016
This is what the Democratic Party must do now to protect voting rights
Nov 29, 2016
Nov 28, 2016
I thrive in possibly inappropriately competitive situations.
Nov 28, 2016
Nov 27, 2016
My little boy is expanding his horizons.
Nov 27, 2016
Nov 26, 2016
Melting ice sucks, but projectiles to the head are bad, too.
Nov 26, 2016
Nov 25, 2016
Serious solution if Trump attempts to enact a Muslim registry
Nov 25, 2016
Nov 24, 2016
No thanks to give on this Thanksgiving
Nov 24, 2016
Nov 23, 2016
Deep thoughts in the early morning hours regarding an important consumer product
Nov 23, 2016
Nov 22, 2016
Things I Do #3: I talk to dead trees.
Nov 22, 2016
Nov 21, 2016
Republican Senators, Congresspeople, and interns have something oddly in common
Nov 21, 2016
Nov 20, 2016
Humility is lovely and oftentimes lacking in this world
Nov 20, 2016
Nov 20, 2016
A perfect explanation of our President-elect's thin skin
Nov 20, 2016
Nov 19, 2016
Shakespeare's words seem rather appropriate even today
Nov 19, 2016
Nov 18, 2016
Pausing the action preserved my chest, my career, and my freedom
Nov 18, 2016
Nov 16, 2016
Books can change a child in unspeakable ways.
Nov 16, 2016
Nov 15, 2016
Iguana vs. Snakes
Nov 15, 2016
Nov 14, 2016
Seasons Up Close Episode 1
Nov 14, 2016
Nov 13, 2016
Donna Gosk stepped off the aircraft carrier. Nothing has been the same ever since.
Nov 13, 2016
Nov 12, 2016
The Weird Book Room: The last place I want my books to end up
Nov 12, 2016
Nov 11, 2016
The mix tape was something special
Nov 11, 2016
Nov 10, 2016
Things I Do #2: I whisper the names of former colleagues
Nov 10, 2016
Nov 9, 2016
The morning after, there is much to do. Much to remember.
Nov 9, 2016
Nov 8, 2016
Tummy or vagina?
Nov 8, 2016
Nov 8, 2016
These are times when your country should come before your brand.
Nov 8, 2016
Nov 7, 2016
Things I Do #1: I routinely offer advice to houseflies
Nov 7, 2016
Nov 6, 2016
Saturday morning reading material
Nov 6, 2016
Nov 5, 2016
Unsatisfying
Nov 5, 2016
Nov 4, 2016
I feel terrible for the Chicago Cubs fans, and for good reason.
Nov 4, 2016
Nov 3, 2016
Pulling back the curtain on the translation process
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 2, 2016
Ashes to dishes
Nov 2, 2016
Nov 1, 2016
Resolution update: October 2016
Nov 1, 2016
October 2016
Oct 31, 2016
Worst Halloween treat ever
Oct 31, 2016
Oct 30, 2016
Catholics should be able to scatter their ashes wherever they damn well please.
Oct 30, 2016
Oct 29, 2016
My new TV gig
Oct 29, 2016
Oct 28, 2016
Be happy for the good fortune of others. It's a happier and more productive way to live.
Oct 28, 2016
Oct 27, 2016
Collaboration is great. Right?
Oct 27, 2016
Oct 26, 2016
Put stuff on the Internet and watch what happens
Oct 26, 2016
Oct 25, 2016
Random chairs in restrooms make me uncomfortable. Justifiably so. Right?
Oct 25, 2016
Oct 24, 2016
Why should I experience unnecessary minor pain? Because I choose not to be soft.
Oct 24, 2016
Oct 23, 2016
Professional Mini Golf: Competitive, cutthroat, and quirky?
Oct 23, 2016
Oct 22, 2016
Wardrobe malfunction
Oct 22, 2016
Oct 21, 2016
Great first sentences (and an analysis of the first sentences of my own novels)
Oct 21, 2016
Oct 20, 2016
"Yeah, but..."
Oct 20, 2016
Oct 19, 2016
Quite possibly Bruce Springsteen's most brilliant and perfect observation ever
Oct 19, 2016
Oct 18, 2016
Unfair assumption #27: People who object to mothers breast-feeding in public are freakish, worthless prudes and more
Oct 18, 2016
Oct 17, 2016
This Playmobil bicycle helmet does not appeal to me, and for good reason.
Oct 17, 2016
Oct 16, 2016
How Poor Were You?
Oct 16, 2016
Oct 15, 2016
Unfair assumption #26: Adults who drink milk are lunatics
Oct 15, 2016
Oct 14, 2016
Sometimes a job is more than a job.
Oct 14, 2016
Oct 13, 2016
This is more important than selling shoes and books.
Oct 13, 2016
Oct 12, 2016
The Moth: The Promise
Oct 12, 2016
Oct 11, 2016
Best insult ever
Oct 11, 2016
Oct 10, 2016
Practicing your speech in front of a mirror makes no sense
Oct 10, 2016
Oct 9, 2016
Confessions of a Patriots Season Ticket Holder: Seasons Fall 2016
Oct 9, 2016
Oct 8, 2016
Never in my life
Oct 8, 2016
Oct 7, 2016
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend fan art
Oct 7, 2016
Oct 6, 2016
Get off my lawn!
Oct 6, 2016
Oct 5, 2016
I run through grocery stores often enough that strangers have begun to notice. This does not make me crazy, even though some might believe otherwise.
Oct 5, 2016
Oct 4, 2016
You see a leaf. I see something so much worse.
Oct 4, 2016
Oct 3, 2016
Disillusioned by the Presidential election this year? Vote for Clara.
Oct 3, 2016
Oct 2, 2016
It's true. I hate strangers because of what they love most.
Oct 2, 2016
Oct 1, 2016
Resolution update: September 2016
Oct 1, 2016
September 2016
Sep 30, 2016
Twenty-five years spent standing in a parking lot
Sep 30, 2016
Sep 29, 2016
Does the dog die? We need to know.
Sep 29, 2016
Sep 28, 2016
An important lesson for all public speakers, storytellers, and the poor souls who must conduct meetings
Sep 28, 2016
Sep 27, 2016
Four pieces of debate advice for Hillary Clinton. Someone please pass this post onto her people.
Sep 27, 2016
Sep 26, 2016
Verbal Sparring: If you don't like it, leave.
Sep 26, 2016
Sep 25, 2016
Unfair assumption: The more you have on your business card, the less I think about your professional ability
Sep 25, 2016
Sep 24, 2016
Complimenting an item of clothing is the lowest form of compliment
Sep 24, 2016
Sep 23, 2016
The first person to listen to my nonsense and predict that I would be a writer has passed away
Sep 23, 2016
Sep 22, 2016
Write the thing that only you can write
Sep 22, 2016
Sep 21, 2016
If you want to have a say in education, become an educator
Sep 21, 2016
Sep 20, 2016
Policing the national anthem makes you a self-righteous jerk
Sep 20, 2016
Sep 19, 2016
Styling advice from a fifth grader
Sep 19, 2016
Sep 18, 2016
Shouldn't yellow raincoats the only appropriately colored raincoats?
Sep 18, 2016
Sep 17, 2016
Water Street Bookstore appearance
Sep 17, 2016
Sep 16, 2016
A trip to the plumbing store, because that's where all kids want to go. Right?
Sep 16, 2016
Sep 15, 2016
Every time I tie my shoes...
Sep 15, 2016
Sep 14, 2016
The Most Poorly Named Character in All of Literature
Sep 14, 2016
Sep 13, 2016
Vincent Van Gogh on Doctor Who makes me cry.
Sep 13, 2016
Sep 12, 2016
At last I am a Beautiful Person. Verified and confirmed by beautifulpeople.com.
Sep 12, 2016
Sep 11, 2016
"Flesh" was a crayon color.
Sep 11, 2016
Sep 10, 2016
First day of preschool apparently went well
Sep 10, 2016
Sep 9, 2016
Unknown but brilliant
Sep 9, 2016
Sep 8, 2016
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2016
Sep 8, 2016
Sep 8, 2016
I broke into the Brooklyn Navy Yard and committed a crime (I think)
Sep 8, 2016
Sep 7, 2016
The bravest
Sep 7, 2016
Sep 6, 2016
Book Club Adventures on Planes and Trains and Automobiles (sort of)
Sep 6, 2016
Sep 5, 2016
I think my wife is hitting on me.
Sep 5, 2016
Sep 4, 2016
I know way too much about boll weevils
Sep 4, 2016
Sep 3, 2016
Preschool is destined to disappoint my son.
Sep 3, 2016
Sep 2, 2016
"Baked in a buttery, flaky crust"
Sep 2, 2016
Sep 1, 2016
Resolution update: August 2016
Sep 1, 2016
August 2016
Aug 31, 2016
A real life person signs my books as his fictional self, which sounds weird and is admittedly a little weird.
Aug 31, 2016
Aug 30, 2016
The most astounding editor's note I have ever seen
Aug 30, 2016
Aug 29, 2016
How Pokemon Go is a lot like Hee Haw, and how that should both relieve you and frighten you
Aug 29, 2016
Aug 28, 2016
Kiss the Girl: The creepy, stalker, possible sexual assault version
Aug 28, 2016
Aug 27, 2016
Damn Canadians are ruining my book.
Aug 27, 2016
Aug 26, 2016
Guess which sister I taught?
Aug 26, 2016
Aug 25, 2016
My daughter demands death.
Aug 25, 2016
Aug 24, 2016
Where the hell is black?
Aug 24, 2016
Aug 23, 2016
Mom and Dad had a reely big show last nite
Aug 23, 2016
Aug 22, 2016
Five year plans are about five years too long
Aug 22, 2016
Aug 21, 2016
The Moth: Two Little Jewish Dicks
Aug 21, 2016
Aug 20, 2016
At least 3 reasons why you should never say "Wish me luck!"
Aug 20, 2016
Aug 19, 2016
The Solar System. Obviously.
Aug 19, 2016
Aug 18, 2016
7 things that we all agree should exist but still don't. Unless you're four years old.
Aug 18, 2016
Aug 17, 2016
Country club dress codes treat adults like children, and yet adults continue to be members of country clubs. I don't get it.
Aug 17, 2016
Aug 16, 2016
The life changing difference between "do" and "don't"
Aug 16, 2016
Aug 15, 2016
If you ever wanted to be a receptionist, perhaps you should think again.
Aug 15, 2016
Aug 14, 2016
If you have strong feelings about cargo shorts, then you are probably an infantile jackass.
Aug 14, 2016
Aug 13, 2016
My son meditates. Seriously. How did this happen?
Aug 13, 2016
Aug 12, 2016
I was a muffin who believed in miracles.
Aug 12, 2016
Aug 11, 2016
The Universal Comeback (I think)
Aug 11, 2016
Aug 10, 2016
Seeking submissions for my annual list of shortcomings and flaws
Aug 10, 2016
Aug 9, 2016
I spent a week backing into parking spots to see if it made any sense. Here is what I discovered.
Aug 9, 2016
Aug 8, 2016
The Peter Principle: Understand it.
Aug 8, 2016
Aug 7, 2016
My children don't understand the purpose or use of a sofa
Aug 7, 2016
Aug 6, 2016
The Moth: A Mop Sink and Maybe God
Aug 6, 2016
Aug 5, 2016
How the Republican Party went from Lincoln to Trump
Aug 5, 2016
Aug 4, 2016
I think my daughter is becoming cool.
Aug 4, 2016
Aug 3, 2016
Unfair assumption: Leaders who park in their privileged parking spots don't get it
Aug 3, 2016
Aug 2, 2016
How to Make a Tennis Ball (also it's impossible to make a tennis ball)
Aug 2, 2016
Aug 1, 2016
Resolution Update: July 2016
Aug 1, 2016
July 2016
Jul 31, 2016
The Internet is kind and crazy and kind of crazy
Jul 31, 2016
Jul 30, 2016
My son is ready for his next 15 minutes of fame
Jul 30, 2016
Jul 29, 2016
The Moth: She Held My Hand
Jul 29, 2016
Jul 28, 2016
Bill O'Reilly reminds us that the slaves who built the White House were "well fed and had decent lodgings," because why?
Jul 28, 2016
Jul 27, 2016
Writing advice from a toddler that authors should heed carefully
Jul 27, 2016
Jul 26, 2016
11 Absolutely Essential Rules for Restaurateur and Waitstaff in Child-Friendly Restaurants
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 25, 2016
This simple bit of grocery store advice will spare you a lifetime of regret. Give you back hours in your week. Bring sanity back to your everyday life.
Jul 25, 2016
Jul 24, 2016
A Series of Special Guests #9
Jul 24, 2016
Jul 23, 2016
Passion Lubes makes for outstanding reading. Don't deny yourself this joy.
Jul 23, 2016
Jul 22, 2016
I don't label people as homophobic
Jul 22, 2016
Jul 21, 2016
A decidedly less white bubble on the other side of the aisle
Jul 21, 2016
Jul 20, 2016
Donald Trump. I told you so.
Jul 20, 2016
Jul 19, 2016
Paul Ryan is a boy in a white bubble
Jul 19, 2016
Jul 18, 2016
The Ground Round still exists. Apparently for the hipster cocktail crowd.
Jul 18, 2016
Jul 17, 2016
Unfair assumption #25: People offended by factual corrections are brittle and lame
Jul 17, 2016
Jul 16, 2016
Too Big an Ask
Jul 16, 2016
Jul 15, 2016
July 15, 2006
Jul 15, 2016
Jul 14, 2016
The UK has a new Prime Minister. Unfortunately, it still has a stupid Queen.
Jul 14, 2016
Jul 13, 2016
Five years ago, I took the stage and told my first story. The most important thing about that night: I was afraid.
Jul 13, 2016
Jul 12, 2016
7 much-needed rules for golf according to me (which makes them absolutely correct)
Jul 12, 2016
Jul 11, 2016
24 life lessons for my children (and perhaps for you)
Jul 11, 2016
Jul 10, 2016
Advice from a mentor from 21 years ago that I continues to guide my life today
Jul 10, 2016
Jul 9, 2016
Unfair assumption #24: Your knowledge of the Supreme Court says a lot about you.
Jul 9, 2016
Jul 8, 2016
Children sleeping in their parent's room: I had strong opinions before I had kids. The results are now in.
Jul 8, 2016
Jul 7, 2016
My kind of princess
Jul 7, 2016
Jul 6, 2016
Perhaps a near-death experience is a good thing. At least one therapist seems to think so.
Jul 6, 2016
Jul 5, 2016
Don't name your child Brenden. I mean Brandon.
Jul 5, 2016
Jul 4, 2016
Unfair assumption #23: People who water their lawns themselves are aggressively anti-efficient and supremely uninteresting
Jul 4, 2016
Jul 3, 2016
The Portland 54: Embrace uncertainty
Jul 3, 2016
Jul 2, 2016
This sign is decidedly less specific than it needs to be
Jul 2, 2016
Jul 1, 2016
Resolution Update: June 2016 plus midyear assessment
Jul 1, 2016
June 2016
Jun 30, 2016
Simple. Hilarious. Makes stupid people look stupid. Everything I want in a two minute video.
Jun 30, 2016
Jun 29, 2016
This is the most inaccurate description of marriage I have ever read. I hope it does not describe your marriage.
Jun 29, 2016
Jun 28, 2016
That ice cream shop that you think is "amazing" or the best? It's not.
Jun 28, 2016
Jun 27, 2016
Unfair assumption #22: People who come from privilege who criticize those who don't come from privilege for their economic circumstances are stupid douchebags
Jun 27, 2016
Jun 26, 2016
Something to make you smile
Jun 26, 2016
Jun 25, 2016
The cough - not the sneeze - deserves the blessing.
Jun 25, 2016
Jun 24, 2016
Paul Ryan (and the Democrats) need my help. I am waiting for their call.
Jun 24, 2016
Jun 23, 2016
Four interesting facts about the song "Laid" that should not only be interesting to me (but probably are).
Jun 23, 2016
Jun 21, 2016
My daughter outlines her position on the accumulation and distribution of capital in a market economy
Jun 21, 2016
Jun 20, 2016
Four things about my children's childhood that I won't miss
Jun 20, 2016
Jun 19, 2016
Best graduation cap ever
Jun 19, 2016
Jun 18, 2016
So much beauty in just two minutes of video. You must see.
Jun 18, 2016
Jun 17, 2016
"Third verse same as the first" is stupid and annoying
Jun 17, 2016
Jun 16, 2016
The world's first decent veggie burger. Not really because it's still a veggie burger, but better.
Jun 16, 2016
Jun 15, 2016
My son has become a non-stop death machine.
Jun 15, 2016
Jun 14, 2016
Staging your home for sale is stupid and self-destructive. Kind of like lipstick. We must end the insanity.
Jun 14, 2016
Jun 13, 2016
The likelihood that your gossip and behind-the-back cruelty will be exposed, expressed in percentages
Jun 13, 2016
Jun 12, 2016
A threat of violence, some moments of real sweetness, and a serious fear of hoes.
Jun 12, 2016
Jun 11, 2016
Sometimes I think I'm living in a movie
Jun 11, 2016
Jun 10, 2016
13 Rules for an Effective (and Perhaps Even Inspiring) Commencement Address
Jun 10, 2016
Jun 9, 2016
Be calm.
Jun 9, 2016
Jun 8, 2016
Review of Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend (and my name change)
Jun 8, 2016
Jun 7, 2016
Go to The Moth and tell a story. And not "someday." Go soon.
Jun 7, 2016
Jun 6, 2016
I have discovered what women look for in a man
Jun 6, 2016
Jun 5, 2016
She would not be happy on a skateboard, but these kids are.
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 4, 2016
Perilous Pizza: The Cook's Cook June/July 2016 edition
Jun 4, 2016
Jun 3, 2016
Dance Recitals: The Joy and the Horror
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 3, 2016
"Just about everybody" I know is not flying on a plane this summer, and to assume otherwise might be an indication of the bubble you live inside.
Jun 3, 2016
Jun 2, 2016
Telling tales: A profile
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016
Teachers must stop assigning problems to students in math class, but apparently they need to stop assigning equations, too.
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 1, 2016
Resolution update: May 2016
Jun 1, 2016
May 2016
May 31, 2016
My first comic books. Too bad I can't show my kids. Or my students. Or anyone squeamish.
May 31, 2016
May 30, 2016
One of the most remarkable pieces of writing in New York Times history - for reasons that will surprise you
May 30, 2016
May 29, 2016
Bill Gates: 5 Books to Read This Summer
May 29, 2016
May 28, 2016
Three shows that every married couple should be watching - and why this is dumb advice
May 28, 2016
May 27, 2016
#Biblebuffet
May 27, 2016
May 26, 2016
I hate meetings this much.
May 26, 2016
May 25, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 28 - Going gray, the reading habits of men, and infertility
May 25, 2016
May 25, 2016
In need of a little quiet
May 25, 2016
May 24, 2016
Teachers: Stop assigning word problems. It's a problem.
May 24, 2016
May 23, 2016
In favor of simplicty
May 23, 2016
May 22, 2016
If I could travel to the past, 13 things I would do differently (without risking my current existence)
May 22, 2016
May 21, 2016
How I don't write
May 21, 2016
May 20, 2016
TEDxTheCountrySchool: Speak Less. Expect More.
May 20, 2016
May 19, 2016
Cold, hard truth from a middle school boy that explains why many people want to succeed but few do.
May 19, 2016
May 18, 2016
Gender reveals: Another example of "Not every thing needs to be a thing"
May 18, 2016
May 17, 2016
What is the longterm impact of not having the support of parents after high school?
May 17, 2016
May 16, 2016
Stop it, teachers: 3 things educators must stop doing now.
May 16, 2016
May 15, 2016
Questions asked so far this morning by my children (ages 7 and 3):
May 15, 2016
May 14, 2016
These people don't know Jesus, and Jesus doesn't give a damn about toilets
May 14, 2016
May 13, 2016
Reach out to a teacher. We want to hear from you.
May 13, 2016
May 12, 2016
My former students discover that their teacher is still alive (and maybe doing cool things) thanks to The Moth
May 12, 2016
May 11, 2016
This update to "Ironic" is a beautiful thing
May 11, 2016
May 10, 2016
This hoodie is real. You won't think so, but I promise you. This is a real thing.
May 10, 2016
May 9, 2016
Serious question: Why isn't religious hypocrisy used more often against the opponents to same sex marriage?
May 9, 2016
May 8, 2016
After almost getting my wife nothing on Mother's Day, it turns out that I gave her a lot. The list is extraordinary.
May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016
Where have all the rebels gone?
May 8, 2016
May 7, 2016
Sometimes I think I live in "Leave It To Beaver"
May 7, 2016
May 6, 2016
Harlem Knight Fight
May 6, 2016
May 5, 2016
Kids are great, but they ruin everything. Especially your peace of mind about the future of the planet.
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend is a Nutmeg nominee!
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 26 - Boy vs. Wife and Girl vs. Husband
May 5, 2016
May 4, 2016
The worst person in the world
May 4, 2016
May 3, 2016
The reverse nap. The Trump nomination. Female eligibility in the military draft. People thought I was crazy all three times. Now I get to say those four glorious words.
May 3, 2016
May 2, 2016
When kids rule the world, it will be a fantastic place. But perhaps not always professional.
May 2, 2016
May 1, 2016
Resolution update: April 2016
May 1, 2016
April 2016
Apr 30, 2016
Owen: 2000-2016
Apr 30, 2016
Apr 29, 2016
A broken lawnmower, a fifth grade boy, and CragsList.com make me wonder if God is real.
Apr 29, 2016
Apr 28, 2016
A question I don't want my wife to be asked
Apr 28, 2016
Apr 27, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 25 - Income in Dating, Mansplaining, and Tallywackers
Apr 27, 2016
Apr 27, 2016
Firemen became firefighters. Penmanship became handwriting. Great. But there's one gender neutral word I can't support.
Apr 27, 2016
Apr 26, 2016
#Biblebuffet
Apr 26, 2016
Apr 25, 2016
Every thing doesn't need to be a thing
Apr 25, 2016
Apr 24, 2016
From the mouths of babes...
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 23, 2016
Opposing Donald Trump while defending one or more of his positions is not doubly odd. It's called objectivity.
Apr 23, 2016
Apr 22, 2016
Mike Pesca's favorite sentences of 2015 (and mine)
Apr 22, 2016
Apr 21, 2016
A fashion designer who doesn't know she's a fashion designer
Apr 21, 2016
Apr 20, 2016
"Close to the chest" or "close to the vest?" The answer annoys the hell out of me.
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016
Seasons: Spring 2106
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 19, 2016
I've never done this medically inadvisable thing that you probably do often
Apr 19, 2016
Apr 18, 2016
Boy in blanket fort offers lesson on happiness
Apr 18, 2016
Apr 17, 2016
An important (and painful) lesson about the people closest to me and the things I write
Apr 17, 2016
Apr 16, 2016
An important corollary on the two greatest super powers of all time
Apr 16, 2016
Apr 15, 2016
When I watch children's television, I ask questions about fictional funding (or the lack thereof)
Apr 15, 2016
Apr 14, 2016
A not-so-disappointing disappointing night at The Moth
Apr 14, 2016
Apr 13, 2016
My wife doesn't jump into the shower with me on a regular basis, but this thing about her parents is a close second.
Apr 13, 2016
Apr 12, 2016
Why I think professional wrestling is stupid
Apr 12, 2016
Apr 11, 2016
The two best super powers of all time (one of them is not teleportation)
Apr 11, 2016
Apr 10, 2016
Clara on Picasso
Apr 10, 2016
Apr 8, 2016
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs: The paperback cover
Apr 8, 2016
Apr 7, 2016
My son, the storyteller. I had no idea.
Apr 7, 2016
Apr 6, 2016
Possibly the perfect outgoing voicemail message
Apr 6, 2016
Apr 5, 2016
#Biblebuffet
Apr 5, 2016
Apr 4, 2016
internet at last
Apr 4, 2016
Apr 3, 2016
#Biblebuffet
Apr 3, 2016
Apr 2, 2016
TEDxNatick: Love Life Like You Are 100 Years Old
Apr 2, 2016
Apr 1, 2016
Resolution update: March 2016
Apr 1, 2016
March 2016
Mar 31, 2016
The secret to great storytelling: Make the big moments incredibly small. Or find your tiny moments and tell just them.
Mar 31, 2016
Mar 30, 2016
Roman creativity when it came to punishing those who murdered their fathers astounds me.
Mar 30, 2016
Mar 29, 2016
If you're using The Bible to support your opposition to same sex marriage and transgender restroom choice, you're simply obsessed with penises and vaginas.
Mar 29, 2016
Mar 25, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 20A and 20B - Twenty Questions
Mar 25, 2016
Mar 25, 2016
My children are stars in an Instagram ad. Apparently the entire world has seen it.
Mar 25, 2016
Mar 24, 2016
The Moth brought me and my elementary school principal back together
Mar 24, 2016
Mar 23, 2016
The best worst magic show ever
Mar 23, 2016
Mar 22, 2016
Four rules about being precious about your stuff
Mar 22, 2016
Mar 21, 2016
Caught in the Middle: A musical filled with stolen words, purloined ideas, and personal philosophy
Mar 21, 2016
Mar 20, 2016
You have to admire a true artisan
Mar 20, 2016
Mar 19, 2016
Text and photo combo of the week
Mar 19, 2016
Mar 18, 2016
A very special chair and a recommendation to librarians everywhere
Mar 18, 2016
Mar 17, 2016
I found someone who thinks EXACTLY like I do. Almost as if I put the words right into her heart and mind.
Mar 17, 2016
Mar 16, 2016
A peek into a typical day of our marriage
Mar 16, 2016
Mar 15, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 18 - Pants, Lands End, and military service
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 19 - Wedding proposals, politics, and frats
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 15, 2016
Clara's best bad behavior
Mar 15, 2016
Mar 14, 2016
The worst name for a food item in all of human history
Mar 14, 2016
Mar 13, 2016
27 Things I Wish I Had Known 10 Years Earlier
Mar 13, 2016
Mar 12, 2016
A famous writer and I agree on the worst part of sleep
Mar 12, 2016
Mar 11, 2016
She wrote "No." My heart soared.
Mar 11, 2016
Mar 9, 2016
Deep, scary, philosophical Star Trek thoughts.
Mar 9, 2016
Mar 8, 2016
Few things are as bad as we want people to think. I think.
Mar 8, 2016
Mar 7, 2016
There was a lot wrong with the 1970's, but these two things might have made up for it.
Mar 7, 2016
Mar 7, 2016
My son has cleverly ensured future access to my phone
Mar 7, 2016
Mar 6, 2016
A simple geographic reminder to those overly insistent, overly-aggressive people of faith
Mar 6, 2016
Mar 5, 2016
Listen to this.
Mar 5, 2016
Mar 4, 2016
Charlie's all-too familiar existentialist dilemma
Mar 4, 2016
Mar 3, 2016
FYI: "Drives me up the wall" is an idiom.
Mar 3, 2016
Mar 3, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 17 - Sexy voice, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model, and Cuddling
Mar 3, 2016
Mar 2, 2016
This made me a little weepy. I'm obviously broken inside.
Mar 2, 2016
Mar 1, 2016
Resolution update: February 2016
Mar 1, 2016
February 2016
Feb 29, 2016
People I don't understand: Motionless telephone talkers
Feb 29, 2016
Feb 28, 2016
Star Wars will have gay characters. Bigoted heads presumably explode like Alderaan.
Feb 28, 2016
Feb 27, 2016
Caught in the Middle: Our world premier!
Feb 27, 2016
Feb 26, 2016
A rule for lifelong happiness: Stop begrudging the good fortune of others.
Feb 26, 2016
Feb 25, 2016
#TBT - My first! Also, I finally understand what the hashtag means.
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 24, 2016
Hidden gems on my daughter's bookshelf and in my teaching career
Feb 24, 2016
Feb 23, 2016
The Moth: A Strip Club of my Own Making
Feb 23, 2016
Feb 22, 2016
Not quite immortality, but 95 is a decent start.
Feb 22, 2016
Feb 21, 2016
This history lesson is unlike anything I've ever seen before. YOU MUST WATCH.
Feb 21, 2016
Feb 20, 2016
Don't speak to old people like they're children or houseplants, damn it.
Feb 20, 2016
Feb 19, 2016
My son is starting to like Star Wars. Also, he calls it Star Whores, which led me to Ken and his dad.
Feb 19, 2016
Feb 18, 2016
How I became a storyteller (and many other things)
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 17, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 15 - Boy bands, men's grooming, and size matters
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 17, 2016
Thank you notes: Should you send an email or write a note?
Feb 17, 2016
Feb 16, 2016
Let languages die.
Feb 16, 2016
Feb 15, 2016
Little Boy Wants to Read. Badly.
Feb 15, 2016
Feb 14, 2016
This is exactly what you need to accomplish your goals. Nothing more.
Feb 14, 2016
Feb 13, 2016
High ranking United States generals finally agree with me on the military draft - 21 years later
Feb 13, 2016
Feb 12, 2016
Question: Which person alive today deserves immortality for the sake of future generations?
Feb 12, 2016
Feb 11, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 14 - Girl Scout Cookies, Valentine's Day, and Schlongs
Feb 11, 2016
Feb 10, 2016
Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, Starship and one unbelievably bizarre video.
Feb 10, 2016
Feb 9, 2016
The two birthday gifts you should be asking for above all others
Feb 9, 2016
Feb 8, 2016
I was bullied by a bunch of middle-aged pencil pushers. And it hurt.
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 8, 2016
Impressive vocabulary and outstanding musical taste
Feb 8, 2016
Feb 7, 2016
Two Divorces Too Many: Oldie but goodie pops up in an unexpected place
Feb 7, 2016
Feb 6, 2016
Two Divorces Too Many
Feb 6, 2016
Feb 6, 2016
Large, lumbering, white men playing basketball. Probably poorly.
Feb 6, 2016
Feb 5, 2016
Embrace the snow day. The future is unknown. And possibly deadly.
Feb 5, 2016
Feb 4, 2016
A simple and perfect solution to the "10 items or less" offenders
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 3, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 13 - Disney Princesses, Modern Day Uniforms & Tighty Whities
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016
Enough power?
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 2, 2016
"An urban community" is a far cry from eating paste
Feb 2, 2016
Feb 1, 2016
Resolution update: January 2016
Feb 1, 2016
January 2016
Jan 31, 2016
My children take selfies now, and I'm glad.
Jan 31, 2016
Jan 30, 2016
Richard Marx is trapped in my head, and I didn't even know it.
Jan 30, 2016
Jan 29, 2016
The Name Game
Jan 29, 2016
Jan 28, 2016
Three Things I Eat Oddly
Jan 28, 2016
Jan 27, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 12 - The Rachel-less Episode
Jan 27, 2016
Jan 27, 2016
A Giants fan enacts a random and nonsensical act of football hatred upon a Patriots fan
Jan 27, 2016
Jan 26, 2016
Heart beeps
Jan 26, 2016
Jan 25, 2016
Clara Susan: January 26, 2009
Jan 25, 2016
Jan 25, 2016
Professional Best Man (and the amazing things that have happened since I first proposed this job)
Jan 25, 2016
Jan 24, 2016
Whitesboro: You will not believe that this situation exists.
Jan 24, 2016
Jan 23, 2016
Football hurts me. Serious injuries. Still, who wants to play tackle football with me?
Jan 23, 2016
Jan 22, 2016
Wonder Woman's invisible jet is stupid.
Jan 22, 2016
Jan 21, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 11 - New Year's Resolutions, Driving, and I WAS GROPED ON THE POLAR EXPRESS!
Jan 21, 2016
Jan 21, 2016
Losing can be so entertaining when it's not you.
Jan 21, 2016
Jan 20, 2016
A washing machine, a trampoline, a brick, and a little bit of joy
Jan 20, 2016
Jan 19, 2016
What is sexy? (according to Jerry Seinfeld and me)
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 18, 2016
Butchers and doctors should not look alike.
Jan 18, 2016
Jan 17, 2016
The "I told you so" calendar. Armed and ready for 2035. I can't recommend it highly enough.
Jan 17, 2016
Jan 16, 2016
BCE and CE
Jan 16, 2016
Jan 15, 2016
Finalized New Year's resolutions for 2016 (including three new goals)
Jan 15, 2016
Jan 14, 2016
Rugged good looks. Beautiful wives. No java.
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 13, 2016
Cruelest joke of 2015 involved a beautiful new baby and Bill Cosby
Jan 13, 2016
Jan 12, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 10 - Three Mystery Topics
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 12, 2016
Fruit Loop freak
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 12, 2016
The strangest thing about the octopus.
Jan 12, 2016
Jan 11, 2016
8 things I have never done that you probably have (now with the much-requested rationales behind each)
Jan 11, 2016
Jan 10, 2016
Six things you have probably done that I have not. Intentionally.
Jan 10, 2016
Jan 9, 2016
It's better to love because it makes you better than other people, which is extremely satisfying.
Jan 9, 2016
Jan 8, 2016
Jim and Pam are still together. There is hope.
Jan 8, 2016
Jan 7, 2016
The many faces of a little reader
Jan 7, 2016
Jan 6, 2016
If you're going to disagree with the President, try not to be illogical while doing so.
Jan 6, 2016
Jan 5, 2016
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 9 - The girl tax, chicks and dudes, and a lady's legs
Jan 5, 2016
Jan 5, 2016
I celebrated my Christmas in the company of strangers
Jan 5, 2016
Jan 4, 2016
Haiku
Jan 4, 2016
Jan 3, 2016
My daughter needs to learn about Marc Antony. And I'm not talking about the singer.
Jan 3, 2016
Jan 2, 2016
My 13 New Year's resolutions for the NFL
Jan 2, 2016
Jan 1, 2016
New Year's resolutions: 2016
Jan 1, 2016
December 2015
Dec 31, 2015
Resolution update: 2015 in review
Dec 31, 2015
Dec 30, 2015
A goal for 2016: An agreement that these parents are awful, disgusting, rotten people
Dec 30, 2015
Dec 29, 2015
The big sleep is killing me.
Dec 29, 2015
Dec 28, 2015
My daughter was annoyed with Mrs. Claus - and let her have it.
Dec 28, 2015
Dec 27, 2015
The Moth: Death by Bee Sting
Dec 27, 2015
Dec 26, 2015
My 2015 Christmas haul
Dec 26, 2015
Dec 26, 2015
Awful Jeb Bush asks supporters for $25 in exchange for leaving them the hell alone. Seriously.
Dec 26, 2015
Dec 25, 2015
How to be uninteresting with fruits and vegetables
Dec 25, 2015
Dec 24, 2015
Jigsaw puzzles are a terrible, rotten, no good, very bad gift.
Dec 24, 2015
Dec 24, 2015
I have a story on The Moth Radio Hour and podcast this week!
Dec 24, 2015
Dec 23, 2015
An essential quote for parents and teachers who are struggling with discipline
Dec 23, 2015
Dec 23, 2015
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 7: Babysitters, chivalry and taking out the trash
Dec 23, 2015
Dec 22, 2015
A possible cure for writer's block
Dec 22, 2015
Dec 21, 2015
I've switched from PC to Mac. I have six complaints.
Dec 21, 2015
Dec 20, 2015
Tableside preparation of guacamole is stupid. For many reasons.
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 19, 2015
Connor the Unicorn is missing. It's freakin' annoying.
Dec 19, 2015
Dec 18, 2015
Goals for 2016: Tell me what to do.
Dec 18, 2015
Dec 17, 2015
Target Practice - Seasons: Winter 2015
Dec 17, 2015
Dec 17, 2015
A whiskey ad, made by two amateur filmmakers, did this to me.
Dec 17, 2015
Dec 16, 2015
This man could have been ripped from one of my novels
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 15, 2015
Afraid of identity theft? Here's a simple solution: Lie
Dec 15, 2015
Dec 14, 2015
TEDx Berkshires: Homework for Life
Dec 14, 2015
Dec 13, 2015
TEDxNatick: "Live Life Like Your 100 Year-Old Self"
Dec 13, 2015
Dec 12, 2015
Rose City Park Church: The sign is real, and the message is fantastic, despite my suggestions for revision.
Dec 12, 2015
Dec 11, 2015
3 verbal tics that you must stop
Dec 11, 2015
Dec 10, 2015
For the friend who has everything, the perfect holiday gift...
Dec 10, 2015
Dec 9, 2015
The oddities of becoming a somewhat (but not famous) public figure
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 9, 2015
Boy Vs. Girl - Episode #5: The Military Draft, Man Vs. Wild, and Grudges
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 8, 2015
Hire this guy. And please don't do anything like this to my Wikipedia page.
Dec 8, 2015
Dec 7, 2015
The Patriots lost yesterday. I'm a happy Patriots fan today. You should be, too.
Dec 7, 2015
Dec 6, 2015
The Book With No Pictures: Best testimonial for the book ever
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 5, 2015
Change can happen. Change does happen. You probably don't believe this. So let me show you this bicycle.
Dec 5, 2015
Dec 4, 2015
My latest appearance on Mom and Dad Are Fighting: Discussing violent tragedy with children
Dec 4, 2015
Dec 4, 2015
Perspective
Dec 4, 2015
Dec 3, 2015
A simple test to determine if a food is objectively tasty
Dec 3, 2015
Dec 2, 2015
Boy Vs. Girl: Episode 4: Barbie, Heels, and Penis Doodles
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 2, 2015
The Moth: The Great Stargazing Betrayal
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 1, 2015
Resolution Update: November 2015
Dec 1, 2015
November 2015
Nov 30, 2015
Naked booby traps: It's apparently a thing. Sadly, my wife is not involved.
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 29, 2015
Four pieces of perfect truth on the nature of writing and work by Dan Kennedy
Nov 29, 2015
Nov 28, 2015
The very best way to earn a dollar
Nov 28, 2015
Nov 27, 2015
The secret to being brave - revealed by a six year-old girl
Nov 27, 2015
Nov 26, 2015
Today I give thanks for something intangible and improbable and incredibly powerful
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 25, 2015
My visit to Northshire Bookstore: Cakes designed to look like books and a mysterious comment left unexplained
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 24, 2015
A theory on the funniness of people who routinely interrupt others
Nov 24, 2015
Nov 23, 2015
Some days are just a "pants on your head" kind of day
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 22, 2015
How I Let Down My Forever Friend
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015
An excellent explanation of Syria's war
Nov 22, 2015
Nov 21, 2015
Millennials are living at home in greater numbers than ever before. Are they just overly indulged wimps?
Nov 21, 2015
Nov 20, 2015
Stop saying that women are beautiful.
Nov 20, 2015
Nov 19, 2015
I have seen the devil, and he looks something like this.
Nov 19, 2015
Nov 18, 2015
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 3 - Gender-Neutral Bathrooms, Salutations, and Bathing Suit Bottoms
Nov 18, 2015
Nov 17, 2015
Two death bed mysteries and one piece of death bed advice
Nov 17, 2015
Nov 16, 2015
7 more ways that saboteurs attempt to destroy workplace productivity
Nov 16, 2015
Nov 15, 2015
Underoos: Possibly inappropriate. Mildly exploitative. Creepy, even?
Nov 15, 2015
Nov 14, 2015
My "Diet Coke and aggressive attitude" didn't exactly match the yoga aesthetic, but I somehow managed to fit in anyway.
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 13, 2015
If only we all had this problem...
Nov 13, 2015
Nov 12, 2015
100 Most Evil People Ever Experiment
Nov 12, 2015
Nov 11, 2015
The truth will set you free
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015
Boy vs. Girl: Episode 2 - Insult Culture, Female Sports Fans, and the Need for Snuggies
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 10, 2015
Would it be wrong for me to encourage my students to memorize this?
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 9, 2015
There are saboteurs in your organization, purposefully damaging productivity and morale. Here are 16 ways to spot them.
Nov 9, 2015
Nov 8, 2015
It is strange that I love both of these things equally?
Nov 8, 2015
Nov 7, 2015
A simple, secret strategy to handling rude people and achieving victory
Nov 7, 2015
Nov 6, 2015
Charlie reads "I Want My Hat Back." And you will melt.
Nov 6, 2015
Nov 5, 2015
The thing my daughter does for which I am most proud
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 4, 2015
Boy Vs. Girl: Episode 1 of our new podcast launches today!
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 3, 2015
The most difficult (and possibly inappropriate) question asked on book tour thus far
Nov 3, 2015
Nov 2, 2015
A lesson on the importance of stakes in storytelling - Plus the story of the day I posed as a charity worker for nefarious reasons
Nov 2, 2015
Nov 1, 2015
Resolution Update: October 2015
Nov 1, 2015
October 2015
Oct 31, 2015
My daughter's editorial proclivities bring me such joy for one special reason.
Oct 31, 2015
Oct 30, 2015
This might be the worst deal in baseball history. Or at least the most ridiculous.
Oct 30, 2015
Oct 29, 2015
Hindsight is rarely 20/20, so stop saying otherwise.
Oct 29, 2015
Oct 28, 2015
We encourage children to seek truth and knowledge in this world except when it comes to this.
Oct 28, 2015
Oct 27, 2015
Look what you can do with a full head of hair.
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 26, 2015
Verbal sparring: "A bad day" is not an excuse to behave badly.
Oct 26, 2015
Oct 25, 2015
3 petty bits of nonsense that should never bother you (unless you are equally petty)
Oct 25, 2015
Oct 24, 2015
Music is not the most important part of my job as a wedding DJ.
Oct 24, 2015
Oct 23, 2015
My daughter betrayed me. I'll say it doesn't hurt, but truthfully, it hurts a lot.
Oct 23, 2015
Oct 23, 2015
Is this real?
Oct 23, 2015
Oct 22, 2015
Little girl makes little boy's dream come true.
Oct 22, 2015
Oct 21, 2015
The Moth: Sex and Frozen Corn
Oct 21, 2015
Oct 20, 2015
Management: Please stop signing your signs. It looks ridiculous and serves no useful purpose.
Oct 20, 2015
Oct 19, 2015
13 Principles of Teaching
Oct 19, 2015
Oct 18, 2015
A man who is proving that nothing is as complicated as people think or want it to be.
Oct 18, 2015
Oct 17, 2015
5 new rules of etiquette in the digital world
Oct 17, 2015
Oct 16, 2015
How to graduate with an Associate's, Bachelor's and Master's degrees without ever taking the SAT or completing a college application (or paying tuition!)
Oct 16, 2015
Oct 15, 2015
First they dance. Then they attack. Kind of viciously.
Oct 15, 2015
Oct 14, 2015
The worst thing about parenting just got a whole lot better.
Oct 14, 2015
Oct 13, 2015
An observation about the movie Stormpiercer that will blow your mind. Maybe.
Oct 13, 2015
Oct 12, 2015
Celebrating Columbus Day is one of the stupidest things that Americans do. Let's replace it with this amazing Russian holiday.
Oct 12, 2015
Oct 11, 2015
My daughter has become a same-sex marriage activist and a storytelling promoter
Oct 11, 2015
Oct 10, 2015
The conspiracy of the uninvited, unannounced pickle must end.
Oct 10, 2015
Oct 9, 2015
I'm doing my first full hour onstage for the Pound Ridge Storytelling Festival on Saturday night. And I'm a little nervous, which almost never happens. Here's why:
Oct 9, 2015
Oct 9, 2015
My daughter's amazing list of proposed weekend activities
Oct 9, 2015
Oct 8, 2015
Announcing your goals makes it less likely that you will achieve them, but what if you're not an idiot?
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015
Hot Buzz for Books 2015
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 7, 2015
This is a contract from hell. Or heaven, depending on your current disposition and predilections.
Oct 7, 2015
Oct 6, 2015
Sometimes a student writes a sentence that I wish I had written. This is one of them.
Oct 6, 2015
Oct 5, 2015
I hit the greatest golf shot of my life. Then a squirrel did something even more amazing.
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 4, 2015
The Gist: My Orange Thong and Lucky Star story
Oct 4, 2015
Oct 3, 2015
I thought I became a teacher because I love kids, but it turns out that the real reason was far more selfish and insidious
Oct 3, 2015
Oct 2, 2015
Resolution update: September 2015
Oct 2, 2015
September 2015
Sep 30, 2015
Unfair assumption #21: John Smith is not a good name
Sep 30, 2015
Sep 29, 2015
Rumspringa: If only every parent possessed the open mindedness of the bad ass Amish
Sep 29, 2015
Sep 28, 2015
My unconventional advice for the expecting parent (or the less experienced parent)
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 27, 2015
Owl hunters interrupt fiction writer's flow
Sep 27, 2015
Sep 26, 2015
My six-year old daughter understands the nature of religious texts better than many Republican candidates
Sep 26, 2015
Sep 25, 2015
A character from The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs comes alive. Seriously.
Sep 25, 2015
Sep 24, 2015
Pulling loose teeth just got more profitable. And strange.
Sep 24, 2015
Sep 23, 2015
God doesn't want you to dress up in order to worship him. In fact, he would prefer that you dress down.
Sep 23, 2015
Sep 22, 2015
My daughter's first homework assignment: First steps on a rotten road
Sep 22, 2015
Sep 22, 2015
I want more politicians like this.
Sep 22, 2015
Sep 21, 2015
Recommended Reading
Sep 21, 2015
Sep 20, 2015
Brilliant use of chalk
Sep 20, 2015
Sep 19, 2015
This video encompasses so many of my fears for my students
Sep 19, 2015
Sep 18, 2015
My book launch party was filled with many surprise guests and references to Dungeons & Dragons
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015
Unfair assumption #20: The use of absolutes in combination with the personal pronoun is an intelligence and personality indicator.
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 16, 2015
Productivity tip: Back up your phone, damn it.
Sep 16, 2015
Sep 15, 2015
There are three incredibly stupid things wrong with this sign. Can you spot them all?
Sep 15, 2015
Sep 14, 2015
Smart, book person and crazed football fan does not always compute.
Sep 14, 2015
Sep 13, 2015
Verbal Sparring: Flip and Own
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 12, 2015
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend: Fan art
Sep 12, 2015
Sep 11, 2015
Can't fight logic like this.
Sep 11, 2015
Sep 10, 2015
They may be teenage boys, but they are also a couple of pathetic cowards.
Sep 10, 2015
Sep 9, 2015
Publicity for The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Sep 9, 2015
Sep 8, 2015
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs: Pub day has finally arrived!
Sep 8, 2015
Sep 7, 2015
Mashable on The Moth
Sep 7, 2015
Sep 6, 2015
The worst thing you can say to a storyteller (you passive-aggressive douchebag)
Sep 6, 2015
Sep 5, 2015
I blame my wife.
Sep 5, 2015
Sep 4, 2015
How to Age Gracefully
Sep 4, 2015
Sep 3, 2015
Audio excerpt of The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Sep 3, 2015
Sep 3, 2015
Booklist, Kirkus, and Library Journal review The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Sep 3, 2015
Sep 2, 2015
My book launch party: Who's coming?
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 1, 2015
I am not talented. I am only tenacious.
Sep 1, 2015
August 2015
Aug 31, 2015
Resolution update: August 2015
Aug 31, 2015
Aug 30, 2015
My son says the funniest things. In retrospect.
Aug 30, 2015
Aug 29, 2015
We The Stupid
Aug 29, 2015
Aug 29, 2015
Creativity fail
Aug 29, 2015
Aug 28, 2015
Mom and Dad Are Fighting: The Back to School Edition
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 28, 2015
Three siblings. All hit by cars. It's weird. Right?
Aug 28, 2015
Aug 27, 2015
How to make a reader in one easy, high effective step
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 26, 2015
The hardest part about my visit to Brazil
Aug 26, 2015
Aug 25, 2015
A possibly faceitious question about his penis
Aug 25, 2015
Aug 24, 2015
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2015
Aug 24, 2015
Aug 23, 2015
Dirt Mountain
Aug 23, 2015
Aug 22, 2015
When in Brazil, go see Judy.
Aug 22, 2015
Aug 21, 2015
Observations from a week in Brazil
Aug 21, 2015
Aug 20, 2015
"Hate is a strong word." It's also not so strong a word. So let's stop saying otherwise.
Aug 20, 2015
Aug 19, 2015
Reading & Writing podcast interview
Aug 19, 2015
Aug 18, 2015
Five of my more anomalous wedding anomalies (i.e. strangest clients ever)
Aug 18, 2015
Aug 18, 2015
Slate's The Gist appearance: Where to Find the Best Stories
Aug 18, 2015
Aug 17, 2015
Lip-syncing made hilarious
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 17, 2015
A hidden penis is always a problem
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 16, 2015
My former students occupy such important spaces in my life
Aug 16, 2015
Aug 15, 2015
Brazilian exit signs are unnerving
Aug 15, 2015
Aug 14, 2015
When you're transmitting information to an audience, be entertaining. Even if it's simply a sign.
Aug 14, 2015
Aug 13, 2015
The plague of the mason jar: Let us pray that it has reached its peak.
Aug 13, 2015
Aug 12, 2015
How the brain got its name
Aug 12, 2015
Aug 11, 2015
When it comes to Brazil, I am basically an infant.
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015
Best worst best interview ever
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 10, 2015
Don't don't judge me.
Aug 10, 2015
Aug 9, 2015
A terrible break in routine
Aug 9, 2015
Aug 8, 2015
Whale watch was both perfect and perfectly disgusting.
Aug 8, 2015
Aug 7, 2015
Can someone please explain these bumper stickers to me?
Aug 7, 2015
Aug 6, 2015
Our babysitter is making me look like a bad parent
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 6, 2015
Worst TEDx luck ever
Aug 6, 2015
Aug 5, 2015
Productivity tip: 14 Reasons Why People Cannot or Will Not Delegate Responsibilities
Aug 5, 2015
Aug 4, 2015
The three most confident words in the English language
Aug 4, 2015
Aug 3, 2015
Single use restrooms in all public venues must be made unisex because not doing so is stupid.
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 2, 2015
ESPN's Jason Whitlock asked a bunch of stupid questions about Robert Kraft, so I answered them. It's a good strategy when faced with dumb, rhetorical questions.
Aug 2, 2015
Aug 1, 2015
Resolution update: July 2015
Aug 1, 2015
July 2015
Jul 31, 2015
One of the most horrifying and disgusting things that has ever happened to me couldn't spoil my day
Jul 31, 2015
Jul 30, 2015
Sequel protection service: Alias
Jul 30, 2015
Jul 29, 2015
How to annoy a child
Jul 29, 2015
Jul 28, 2015
Even I was silenced by this horrific scene of sexism and misplaced cold drink cups
Jul 28, 2015
Jul 27, 2015
“If you’re going to have a difficult life, it might as well be childhood, since it’s so short” might be the dumbest thing ever said.
Jul 27, 2015
Jul 26, 2015
My daughter manages money better than most Americans. And unlike me, her savings weren't eaten by a dog named after a video game.
Jul 26, 2015
Jul 25, 2015
I hate this kid.
Jul 25, 2015
Jul 24, 2015
This phone call apparently went well.
Jul 24, 2015
Jul 24, 2015
Half years are stupid.
Jul 24, 2015
Jul 23, 2015
Clara's Mid-Summer Bucket List
Jul 23, 2015
Jul 22, 2015
Are you faithful to your spouse? It's less common than you might think.
Jul 22, 2015
Jul 21, 2015
A simple solution for Scott Walker's uncertainty
Jul 21, 2015
Jul 20, 2015
The best marital advice you'll ever receive (and some thoughts on same sex marriage, too)
Jul 20, 2015
Jul 19, 2015
Brace yourself for the cutest thing EVER (not one bit of hyperbole)
Jul 19, 2015
Jul 18, 2015
Dentists need to tell stories, or they will end up with people like me in their chairs.
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 17, 2015
The next time you see or hear a story about the British royalty, I suggest this response:
Jul 17, 2015
Jul 16, 2015
First review of The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs arrives!
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 16, 2015
Don Featherstone was an interesting man for at least two reasons. Also, the mysteries of 57 and matchy-matchy remain unsolved, and it's really bothering me.
Jul 16, 2015
Jul 15, 2015
A brilliant app idea that I'm giving away for free. Take it. Make it. I'll be your first customer.
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 14, 2015
If I ruled the world, here are 11 laws that I would immediately enact.
Jul 14, 2015
Jul 13, 2015
THE GREATEST APP RECOMMENDATION OF ALL TIME: Wakie
Jul 13, 2015
Jul 12, 2015
Some fun facts are just facts
Jul 12, 2015
Jul 11, 2015
There are so many things wrong with this sign.
Jul 11, 2015
Jul 10, 2015
Naked clog fighting. Let me say that again: NAKED CLOG FIGHTING.
Jul 10, 2015
Jul 10, 2015
A restroom puzzle: How exactly is this configuration of toilets supposed to work?
Jul 10, 2015
Jul 9, 2015
Watching "Jaws" while floating in a murky pond at night helps explain why storytelling continues to gain in popularity
Jul 9, 2015
Jul 8, 2015
Why I choose to write in McDonald's
Jul 8, 2015
Jul 7, 2015
Sticks & Stones made it to the stage! I could not have done it alone.
Jul 7, 2015
Jul 6, 2015
Five important questions to ask about a religion before joining (or choosing to remain a member)
Jul 6, 2015
Jul 5, 2015
Would you share your toothbrush with a loved one? Or anyone?
Jul 5, 2015
Jul 4, 2015
Tennis balls are almost entirely flattened when struck by a racquet
Jul 4, 2015
Jul 3, 2015
This thing exists.
Jul 3, 2015
Jul 3, 2015
6 thoughts about this crazy-ass video from CatholicVote.org
Jul 3, 2015
Jul 2, 2015
The Moth makes it into the pages of Newsweek, and I play a teeny tiny role.
Jul 2, 2015
Jul 2, 2015
Republicans run the risk of becoming the latest version of George Wallace
Jul 2, 2015
Jul 1, 2015
I hate broccoli and kale and cabbage, and the reason is science. Maybe.
Jul 1, 2015
June 2015
Jun 30, 2015
If you want us to be quiet, please ask quietly.
Jun 30, 2015
Jun 30, 2015
Resolution update June 2015
Jun 30, 2015
Jun 29, 2015
"Bigot" is a strong word to label a person opposed to same sex marriage. Is it the correct word?
Jun 29, 2015
Jun 28, 2015
The truth behind Gilligan's Island is AMAZING.
Jun 28, 2015
Jun 27, 2015
Apple's desire to eliminate as many ports as possible on their laptops may be aesthetically pleasing, but it's also a pain in the ass.
Jun 27, 2015
Jun 27, 2015
Bad week for bigots. Good week for progressives. Conservatives? It depends.
Jun 27, 2015
Jun 26, 2015
I scheduled my book launch party on Rosh Hashanah for one very good reason.
Jun 26, 2015
Jun 25, 2015
If I can't have actual immortality, this would be an acceptable alternative:
Jun 25, 2015
Jun 24, 2015
I expected to annoy a lot of readers, but I wrote it anyway.
Jun 24, 2015
Jun 23, 2015
Best compliments of my life, including an addition to the list. You, too, should keep a list.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015
This kid might be too relaxed.
Jun 23, 2015
Jun 22, 2015
Creativity is collaboration. As a storyteller, I stand on the shoulders of real life storytelling ninjas.
Jun 22, 2015
Jun 21, 2015
I taught my son to pee on a tree. Is this normal?
Jun 21, 2015
Jun 21, 2015
Super model in training
Jun 21, 2015
Jun 20, 2015
First and last day of kindergarten
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015
Instead of spending money in an unsafe, unfair Why not just manicure and pedicure each other?
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 19, 2015
Immaturity: A teacher's greatest weapon (according to at least one student)
Jun 19, 2015
Jun 18, 2015
Stop saying that girls are sporty, girls.
Jun 18, 2015
Jun 17, 2015
The next time it rains, don't complain. Do this.
Jun 17, 2015
Jun 16, 2015
Always calling for Mommy, even though she has ignored him almost every time
Jun 16, 2015
Jun 15, 2015
We don't roll down our car windows anymore. What the hell are my children going to do?
Jun 15, 2015
Jun 14, 2015
My son has no faith in me.
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 14, 2015
I'm willing to reboot Lost, absent the stupid parts.
Jun 14, 2015
Jun 13, 2015
No TV since 1990 is no loss
Jun 13, 2015
Jun 12, 2015
Starbucks: Hate the product. Love the company.
Jun 12, 2015
Jun 11, 2015
Innocent enough to believe in "leap-whale"
Jun 11, 2015
Jun 11, 2015
Dear real estate agents: They're just houses.
Jun 11, 2015
Jun 10, 2015
Sometimes the removal of a single piece can change everything
Jun 10, 2015
Jun 9, 2015
The perfect in-law apartment. Or spare room. Or home for your millennial who flunked out of college or can't find a job "in his field."
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015
This movie looks great, but I'm sure the book was better
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 8, 2015
Finding common ground with a reasonable, albeit bigoted, pastor
Jun 8, 2015
Jun 7, 2015
This makes no sense to me. You?
Jun 7, 2015
Jun 6, 2015
Goodnight Moon: Supporting drug use and attempted kidnapping
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 6, 2015
The Connecticut Forum: Backstage with the Creators of Serial
Jun 6, 2015
Jun 5, 2015
I was hoping for funny and embarrassing. Instead, I got one of the most amazing videos I have ever seen.
Jun 5, 2015
Jun 4, 2015
The dark, incestuous side of The Brady Bunch, including dog collars and nails
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 4, 2015
Possible (and recommended) bookshelf goal
Jun 4, 2015
Jun 3, 2015
12 Popular Things That I've Never Done
Jun 3, 2015
Jun 2, 2015
Is it really so hard to imagine Jesus supporting same sex marriage?
Jun 2, 2015
Jun 1, 2015
Resolution update: May 2015
Jun 1, 2015
May 2015
May 31, 2015
The Nazis were evil, but this Disney film is insane
May 31, 2015
May 30, 2015
Ask a Teacher: Do You Teach to the Test?
May 30, 2015
May 30, 2015
I weep for this woman. Her husband is so sweet. And also a monster.
May 30, 2015
May 29, 2015
Bad decision by this teacher, but not for the reasons you might suspect.
May 29, 2015
May 28, 2015
The world lost an elementary school custodian yesterday, and a better man than most.
May 28, 2015
May 27, 2015
Want to be funny? Want to make people laugh? Tell a story. In the right sort of venue. With the right number of people.
May 27, 2015
May 26, 2015
My position on gossip is potentially divisive and possibly offensive, except that I guess it's not. Huzzah!
May 26, 2015
May 25, 2015
My minimalist hero and my possible desire to radically reduce my wardrobe
May 25, 2015
May 24, 2015
Listen to me talk about storytelling and teaching instead of reading my words
May 24, 2015
May 23, 2015
I wore jeans to a $25,000 a table gala and something surprising happened, as it often does when I am under-dressed.
May 23, 2015
May 22, 2015
Wine snobbery debunked.
May 22, 2015
May 21, 2015
My son is an overnight bully. Also, he apparently has superhuman strength.
May 21, 2015
May 20, 2015
I would make the same face if forced to eat avocados
May 20, 2015
May 19, 2015
Why was this second grader drinking a beer, and why did I allow it?
May 19, 2015
May 18, 2015
5 Quick Productivity Tips
May 18, 2015
May 17, 2015
A dance recital freak show, including marital discord, a gangrene foot, and a woman mistaking a children's dance recital for a dance party
May 17, 2015
May 16, 2015
Angry Bear Versus Little Girl: A Haiku
May 16, 2015
May 15, 2015
My daughter got in trouble at school, and I'm so glad.
May 15, 2015
May 14, 2015
Sequel Protection Service: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
May 14, 2015
May 13, 2015
No photo like this exists of my sister and me.
May 13, 2015
May 12, 2015
The question most frequently asked of me while I sign my name
May 12, 2015
May 11, 2015
A signed copy of Shakespeare's King Lear
May 11, 2015
May 10, 2015
If you have issues with Mother's Day, for whatever reason, please consider these two words or these six words.
May 10, 2015
May 9, 2015
I wonder if Beyonce started this way?
May 9, 2015
May 8, 2015
I have discovered the secret to a happy marriage. Seriously.
May 8, 2015
May 8, 2015
The joyous and much anticipated arrival of the garbage truck
May 8, 2015
May 7, 2015
"I have no gay friends," is perhaps an indicator of one of three things:
May 7, 2015
May 6, 2015
At last! My chance to take the stage with a professional Shakespearean company in a performance of Hamlet.
May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend fans: Look what Mrs. Gosk gave me!
May 6, 2015
May 5, 2015
Not the expression I want to see when someone is looking at my penis.
May 5, 2015
May 4, 2015
My inlaws introduced me to a new concept: Combination babysitting and home improvement services
May 4, 2015
May 3, 2015
Booktopia: The Final Chapter, and the mess that is me.
May 3, 2015
May 3, 2015
The most impressive thing my daughter has ever done
May 3, 2015
May 2, 2015
I won a Moth StorySLAM and made history.
May 2, 2015
May 2, 2015
Bio-breaks must stop now.
May 2, 2015
May 1, 2015
This still exists, and it's so stupid.
May 1, 2015
May 1, 2015
Resolution update: April 2015
May 1, 2015
April 2015
Apr 30, 2015
The right way for kids to do iPad
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015
I was spoiled by sandwich meat.
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 29, 2015
Off the blog reading: Father's Day Crushes Mother's Day and Re-Imagining the Author Talk in 3 Parts
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015
Was 1991 as oddly pink and patriotic as this Sizzler video implies?
Apr 29, 2015
Apr 28, 2015
My son is being abused by his sister and he doesn't even know it.
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #7 (with my answer): Tell us a joke.
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 27, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #6 (with my answer): What historical presidential moment tells us the most about your vision of the office?
Apr 27, 2015
Apr 27, 2015
My daughter's position on makeup makes a hell of a lot of sense
Apr 27, 2015
Apr 26, 2015
Do you know how to play Sandwich Man?
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #5 (with my answer): What experience have you had that will serve you well as president?
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 25, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #4 (with my answers): What’s your greatest governing triumph?
Apr 25, 2015
Apr 24, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #3 (with my answers): What’s your greatest political triumph?
Apr 24, 2015
Apr 23, 2015
Presidential Job Application: Question #2 (with my answer): What's the biggest personal crisis you’ve faced and how did you handle it?
Apr 23, 2015
Apr 22, 2015
The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs: An expletive-laced mention in Library Journal
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015
Presidential Job Application Question #1 (with my answer): What’s the biggest crisis you’ve faced in your professional life and how did you handle it?
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 21, 2015
Thought he was sick. Turns out he only wanted some attention.
Apr 21, 2015
Apr 21, 2015
Marco Rubio: You can't claim to be young when your ideas are as old as dirt.
Apr 21, 2015
Apr 20, 2015
What do tanning beds, mustard gas, and arsenic have in common?
Apr 20, 2015
Apr 20, 2015
This was not a temper tantrum. This was Britt McHenry being Britt McHenry.
Apr 20, 2015
Apr 19, 2015
Annoyingly cool
Apr 19, 2015
Apr 18, 2015
This woman wears the same thing to work everyday. You should be as impressed with her as I am.
Apr 18, 2015
Apr 18, 2015
This is why spell-check is my hero.
Apr 18, 2015
Apr 17, 2015
Nice is anything but nice
Apr 17, 2015
Apr 16, 2015
I think there might be something wrong with my daughter.
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 15, 2015
My Professional Best Man career is officially launched
Apr 15, 2015
Apr 14, 2015
Stealing Daddy's headphones
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015
3 Reasons Why You Should Never Send a Kid to a Dictionary to Look Up the Spelling of a Word
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 12, 2015
Wedding advice: No impromptu toasts.
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015
Potty training in the modern world
Apr 12, 2015
Apr 11, 2015
Dear Adam Cloud: “Yard Goats” is the definition of unique. Also, your argument that the name is offensive is absurd.
Apr 11, 2015
Apr 10, 2015
A note to my children regarding the shame and embarrassment of 2015
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 9, 2015
Look! I Found the cutest thing that has ever existed on the planet!
Apr 9, 2015
Apr 9, 2015
31 lessons I teach my students that aren’t in the curriculum
Apr 9, 2015
Apr 8, 2015
Three sentences that everyone should say more often
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 8, 2015
I like standing on walls and big rocks, too.
Apr 8, 2015
Apr 7, 2015
“Spring is here!” roars these tiny, purple flowers.
Apr 7, 2015
Apr 7, 2015
I want to be Jimmy Fallon
Apr 7, 2015
Apr 6, 2015
Changes to this website and blog are coming. Thoughts?
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 6, 2015
Legitimate complaints about the toilet
Apr 6, 2015
Apr 5, 2015
11 thoughts on yesterday’s TEDxBU event, including observations from the restrooms and my advice for future TED speakers.
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 5, 2015
Future CTfastrak spokespersons
Apr 5, 2015
Apr 4, 2015
It’s a shame when people pose as Christians and give Jesus a bad name.
Apr 4, 2015
Apr 3, 2015
One is the loneliest number, even if you’re an American Girl doll.
Apr 3, 2015
Apr 2, 2015
Ladies: Leave my choice of winter clothing alone. I’M FINE.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 1, 2015
Little routines by little people that mean so much to me for reasons I can’t explain.
Apr 1, 2015
Apr 1, 2015
Resolution update: March 2015
Apr 1, 2015
March 2015
Mar 31, 2015
If the teacher tells you that your child is not gifted, it’s more likely that it’s the teacher who is not gifted.
Mar 31, 2015
Mar 29, 2015
Students were required to listen to Ted Cruz - under threat of fines - which seems just plain mean. Also agonizing.
Mar 29, 2015
Mar 29, 2015
14 Things That Annoy Me (and probably you)
Mar 29, 2015
Mar 28, 2015
The two reasons that people like foods that they initially despise are exactly the two reasons that I still don’t like those foods.
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 27, 2015
I want this life.
Mar 27, 2015
Mar 26, 2015
The author Julian Barnes would kill me, and defacing books is a terrible thing, but don’t you think this is also an AMAZING idea?
Mar 26, 2015
Mar 26, 2015
My son’s excitement over a recent visit to the mall is slightly disconcerting
Mar 26, 2015
Mar 25, 2015
Teachers of writing at any level: Read this immediately. Nothing is more important.
Mar 25, 2015
Mar 24, 2015
I don’t know Kathleen Hampton, but based upon her lawsuit, I suspect that ‘entitled and insufferable” are likely descriptors.
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 22, 2015
Is Ted Cruz really this stupid or is he simply pandering to idiots?
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015
Everyone deserves to have fans.
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015
The consistently late are the scum of the Earth. Here’s a simple strategy to avoid being late in the future.
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015
This is what happens after you behave well during your doctor’s appointment
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 21, 2015
The Joyful and Effective Use of Condoms in the Latter Years of Life: My latest workshop
Mar 21, 2015
Mar 20, 2015
A brilliant way to turn incessant texting into something splendid and amusing
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 19, 2015
Today I feel like a real author – which doesn’t happen often – and not for any reason that you might imagine.
Mar 19, 2015
Mar 18, 2015
This is the real reason you go shopping before a snowstorm
Mar 18, 2015
Mar 17, 2015
Malcolm Gladwell on shorter attention spans, inherent unfairness, and the selfie.
Mar 17, 2015
Mar 16, 2015
The single greatest death bed regret of Generation X (and maybe beyond) will be this:
Mar 16, 2015
Mar 15, 2015
I didn’t respond to a stranger’s unsolicited manuscript for 48 hours, so his angry response was probably justified. Right?
Mar 15, 2015
Mar 14, 2015
Sequel Protection Service: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (The Millennium) series
Mar 14, 2015
Mar 13, 2015
A student wrote something that made me cry while reading it aloud. And thanks to the rules of my “Make your teacher cry” contest, my tears were caught on video.
Mar 13, 2015
Mar 12, 2015
Outdoors at last!
Mar 12, 2015
Mar 11, 2015
23 jobs I seriously considered at one point in my life (and still do with a few exceptions)
Mar 11, 2015
Mar 10, 2015
Why do I blog? Because it’s nearly led to national television, and it still might. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Mar 10, 2015
Mar 9, 2015
12 Things Teachers Wish They Could Say to Parents
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 8, 2015
One of those moments when I’m happy that I’m over 40 years old.
Mar 8, 2015
Mar 8, 2015
50 Healthiest Foods of All Time: A large percentage are a mystery to me.
Mar 8, 2015
Mar 7, 2015
19 things I heart right now
Mar 7, 2015
Mar 6, 2015
A replica guillotine in the middle of a children’s museum?
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 5, 2015
COVER REVEAL: The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs
Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015
I am so proud and excited about the world in which my children are growing up.
Mar 5, 2015
Mar 4, 2015
Curt Shilling is wrong about evolution, but his response to Internet trolls was commendable and enough to make this Yankees fan cheer.
Mar 4, 2015
Mar 3, 2015
Nine rules for making you more efficient with email and less of a jerk face
Mar 3, 2015
Mar 2, 2015
Less lecture. More learning.
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015
Mike Huckabee is a bigot still living in 1996
Mar 2, 2015
Mar 1, 2015
The McRib is super healthy and nothing like a yoga mat
Mar 1, 2015
February 2015
Feb 28, 2015
Resolution update: February
Feb 28, 2015
Feb 28, 2015
Cat Heaven snuck up on me and made me cry.
Feb 28, 2015
Feb 27, 2015
I’ve found the next, great cereal spokesperson
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 27, 2015
One of these words is not like the others
Feb 27, 2015
Feb 26, 2015
Friendship Application 3.0
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 25, 2015
I won’t be reading my novel to my children. For a damn good reason.
Feb 25, 2015
Feb 24, 2015
I have illogical affection for this.
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015
5 questions about the third line of James Taylor “Fire and Rain,” which will likely plague me until the end of days.
Feb 24, 2015
Feb 23, 2015
Four things to consider before dating a coworker: An office romance with my future wife.
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015
Emergency and Evacuation Plan maps should not be designed to produce panic
Feb 23, 2015
Feb 22, 2015
You’re allowed to sound this bad when you’re this cute.
Feb 22, 2015
Feb 21, 2015
If you want to deny homosexuals the same rights as heterosexuals, you are evil.
Feb 21, 2015
Feb 20, 2015
Just when you think that the boy is being dragged around by the girl, he asks the question that breaks my heart.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015
Stephen Fry explains what he would say if he was “confronted by God” and nearly knocks the interviewer out of his seat.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 19, 2015
This is not a telephone, so how does my son know that this was once a telephone?
Feb 19, 2015
Feb 18, 2015
It’s easy to criticize what people do. It’s often what people don’t do that matters more, yet these inactions are often ignored. So leave me alone, you inactive, moronic toadstools.
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 17, 2015
13 thoughts upon seeing my son trying to be cooler than me.
Feb 17, 2015
Feb 15, 2015
My daughter wished me luck before my most recent Moth GrandSLAM performance then promptly retracted it.
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015
The fallacy of private criticism and the mistake teachers often make when assigning consequences
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 14, 2015
Novelist Jose Saramago quit writing in 1953. Part of me wants to reach back in time and hug him. The other part wants to smack him.
Feb 14, 2015
Feb 13, 2015
The blend of happiness and sadness, pride and envy of the working day is easy on some days. Impossibly hard on others. Also, my son needs to get himself a job.
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 13, 2015
It took this couple 8 years to say “I love you” to each other. It took my wife slightly less time to say it to me.
Feb 13, 2015
Feb 12, 2015
In the unlikely event that my books, films, and musicals don’t make me a wealthy man, I have a back-up plan more than 350 people strong.
Feb 12, 2015
Feb 11, 2015
There is no female counterpart to the word “guys,” and that is a tragedy.
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 11, 2015
In the words of Budo…
Feb 11, 2015
Feb 10, 2015
Best compliment of my life
Feb 10, 2015
Feb 9, 2015
Clara’s sixth birthday. Make it stop.
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 9, 2015
Death bed regrets revisited: 2015
Feb 9, 2015
Feb 8, 2015
Poetry memorization need not be boring or a waste of time. I have used it to make a woman swoon (possibly) and enact one of my greatest pranks of all time against a fellow teacher.
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015
Not nearly the late bloomer that his Daddy was
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 7, 2015
The moment for which every author longs, experienced by my wife.
Feb 7, 2015
Feb 7, 2015
Sleeping with goats on The Gist
Feb 7, 2015
Feb 6, 2015
What’s the word for this feeling?
Feb 6, 2015
Feb 5, 2015
My daughter is failing to follow in her father’s footsteps, and I am both thrilled and mystified.
Feb 5, 2015
Feb 4, 2015
The tragedy of the philtrum: Join me in elevating it to its proper status in the American lexicon.
Feb 4, 2015
Feb 3, 2015
Business Insider lists 9 unfair advantages that help people get ahead. I’ve benefited from 5. Physical attractiveness is not one of them.
Feb 3, 2015
Feb 2, 2015
My wife’s text message in the closing seconds of the Super Bowl said it all.
Feb 2, 2015
January 2015
Jan 31, 2015
One of the best nights of my life
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015
How to come off as an insecure douchebag
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015
Ugly people unite! Sometimes beauty can only be found in numbers.
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 30, 2015
It’s your booger.
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015
Resolution update: January 2015
Jan 30, 2015
Jan 29, 2015
Speak Up is two years old! It began with a snow day and a simple question to my wife.
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 28, 2015
Elsa just wants to blow me.
Jan 28, 2015
Jan 27, 2015
Wanted: Photographs of sofas and slippers and well appointed thermostats. Please?
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 27, 2015
This guy is too damn young to be teaching.
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 26, 2015
Two important things to remember as the Blizzard of 2015 approaches
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015
30 lessons learned from six years of parenting
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 26, 2015
Storytelling on The Gist
Jan 26, 2015
Jan 25, 2015
Slate might actually be stealing my ideas. Not really, but you have to admit that it’s getting a little suspicious.
Jan 25, 2015
Jan 24, 2015
The mindset of the person who affixes those stick figure family decals to the rear window of their car mystifies me.
Jan 24, 2015
Jan 24, 2015
Love my readers
Jan 24, 2015
Jan 23, 2015
My aunts and uncles were once young and strong and infinite. This is how I try to remember them even when the shadows of my ongoing existential crisis creep in.
Jan 23, 2015
Jan 22, 2015
This is how I survive meetings.
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 21, 2015
My friends are incredibly odd. Complete outliers. I couldn’t be more happy.
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 20, 2015
How I teach storytelling
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015
I think my wife married me to compensate for her lack of a sense of direction.
Jan 20, 2015
Jan 19, 2015
The best moment that I have ever spent at a football game. Maybe one of the best moments of my life. And it happened during a timeout.
Jan 19, 2015
Jan 18, 2015
When do you allow your child to quit an activity? Also, entering into contractual agreements with your child is insane.
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015
A new definition for enthusiasm
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 17, 2015
So much wrong with this photograph
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 16, 2015
A perfect combination of glitter, revenge, and the US Postal Service: My kind of company
Jan 16, 2015
Jan 15, 2015
Productivity tip #14: Start your day ahead of everyone else.
Jan 15, 2015
Jan 15, 2015
Mystery behind this photograph solved, though the solution was fairly obvious.
Jan 15, 2015
Jan 14, 2015
The Kindle’s beta version, perhaps?
Jan 14, 2015
Jan 13, 2015
There’s nothing better than a little fire in your belly to keep you moving forward. Find something to hate.
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 13, 2015
Insult advertising is the best
Jan 13, 2015
Jan 12, 2015
Your future self wants you to be daring and adventurous. Don’t let the current version of yourself screw things up because it’s cold.
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 12, 2015
My Story of the Day exercise will change your life. I promise. And you'll find a bunch of stories in the process.
Jan 12, 2015
Jan 11, 2015
Productivity tip #13: Own one belt.
Jan 11, 2015
Jan 10, 2015
Someone at Slate magazine has been reading my blog and stealing my brilliant ideas. Seriously. Sort of.
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015
My students chose mustard covered bees.
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 9, 2015
Verbal sparring 101: Comparing apples and oranges makes a whole lot of sense. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Jan 9, 2015
Jan 8, 2015
Taylor Swift teaches a valuable lesson to all content creators.
Jan 8, 2015
Jan 7, 2015
The prize for my latest writing contest is the threat of tears and possible humiliation. No wonder my students are writing up a storm.
Jan 7, 2015
Jan 6, 2015
The Professional Best Man: A bride’s best friend, too.
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 5, 2015
Stupid people think they’re smart, and smart people think they’re not. Most important: They can’t help it. This explains everything.
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 4, 2015
Productivity tip #12: Embrace the imperfect.
Jan 4, 2015
Jan 3, 2015
The Play-Doh sex toy was a mistake, but making a big deal out of it is much worse.
Jan 3, 2015
Jan 1, 2015
A New Year’s resolution for all experienced parents: Silence the small, sad and stupid. Allow expecting parents to be expectant.
Jan 1, 2015
Jan 1, 2015
New Year's resolutions: 2015
Jan 1, 2015
December 2014
Dec 31, 2014
Resolution update: 2014 in review
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 31, 2014
My highly improbable weekend
Dec 31, 2014
Dec 30, 2014
I want to be overpaid.
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 30, 2014
Best Christmas gift ever. Someone strongly hint about this to my kids when they are old enough to understand.
Dec 30, 2014
Dec 29, 2014
Useless skills: Speaking and listening simultaneously
Dec 29, 2014
Dec 28, 2014
How did television meteorologists become household names, and why can’t I name a single one of these guys?
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 27, 2014
New Year’s resolutions work. Goal setting can change your life. Maybe not for losers, but you are not a loser. Don’t let the pundits tell you otherwise.
Dec 27, 2014
Dec 26, 2014
My 2014 Christmas haul
Dec 26, 2014
Dec 26, 2014
The cat peed and pooped and vomited on our Christmas preparations, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Dec 26, 2014
Dec 25, 2014
My daughter’s grandmother is sadly more Susan than grandmother
Dec 25, 2014
Dec 24, 2014
Storyteller Interruptus
Dec 24, 2014
Dec 23, 2014
Turns out that I’m quite the catch
Dec 23, 2014
Dec 22, 2014
Another reason why I want a time machine
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 22, 2014
If Newington, Connecticut ever wants a new slogan, it has many options, including a serial killer and a lot of coffee.
Dec 22, 2014
Dec 21, 2014
“I checked his tushy and there was no poop anywhere.”
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 21, 2014
Why it’s glorious to be a Patriots fan
Dec 21, 2014
Dec 20, 2014
Seasons Magazine: My latest column on how real men don’t use snow blowers
Dec 20, 2014
Dec 20, 2014
The girl rejected her mother’s culinary advances, but the boy could not resist
Dec 20, 2014
Dec 19, 2014
Everyone is completely overwhelmed, except I kind of think that they aren’t and should reconsider their position.
Dec 19, 2014
Dec 19, 2014
I guess I really, really, really love my wife.
Dec 19, 2014
Dec 18, 2014
Santa Claus spent the day at an abomination of a grocery store, and he was BRILLIANT.
Dec 18, 2014
Dec 17, 2014
Michael Lewis wants women to rule Wall Street. I would like to take his thesis about a million steps further.
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014
Another demanded apology that will likely go unanswered and is pathetic and stupid either way.
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 16, 2014
Just when I start to become a cynical, entitled, unappreciative jerk face, Jenny Slate comes along and sets me straight.
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 15, 2014
An elementary school teacher’s recollections from the day of the Newtown tragedy
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014
Who ever said that domestic violence and sexual assault are hard subjects to talk about? What’s the deal, NFL?
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 14, 2014
Charlie found a whistle. And he was happy.
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014
Arrogance may be the perfect replacement to an extra hour or two of sleep
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 13, 2014
I’m going to disagree with “I’m going to push back on that a little.”
Dec 13, 2014
Dec 12, 2014
Life is good when you’re two years-old
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 12, 2014
Kolf: Golf played on ice. And yes, we're going to play it.
Dec 12, 2014
Dec 11, 2014
The Boy Scouts encourages rank advancement by making the first three ranks embarrassing and pathetic.
Dec 11, 2014
Dec 10, 2014
Pineapples once were popular party accessories. And not for eating.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014
My friends are dullards by comparison.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014
Tiny windows hurt my heart.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 9, 2014
I have 15 jobs. So you probably require my services in one way or another.
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014
Cruelty is a sign of true friendship
Dec 9, 2014
Dec 8, 2014
My 15 dead friends (potentially)
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014
These 8 minutes of amateur video are better than any show on television.
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 7, 2014
The best way to stop a novelist dead in his tracks
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014
Good news and not bad news regarding my idea for an MRI boutique
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 5, 2014
Three ideas to increase profitability at ESPN
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014
He’ll never have it this good again.
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014
The St. Louis Police Officers Association have demanded an apology, which unfortunately has made them look like middle school brats.
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 4, 2014
Presentation consultant for hire
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 3, 2014
Outsourcing and crowdsourcing my New Year’s resolutions: Any suggestions for me?
Dec 3, 2014
Dec 3, 2014
The lack of sibling rivalry is my daughter's crowning achievement.
Dec 3, 2014
Dec 2, 2014
Our little ingrate has grown up. Unfortunately.
Dec 2, 2014
Dec 1, 2014
Resolution update: November 2014
Dec 1, 2014
November 2014
Nov 30, 2014
Apples are possibly the least relevant part of apple picking
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014
My 1992-1994 culture gap: Two years without television, movies, or music
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 29, 2014
I was once a bank teller, waiting on Mark Wahlberg, writing sonnets, and battling my idiot manager.
Nov 29, 2014
Nov 28, 2014
The stuff of my wife’s childhood is alive and well in the hands of our children, and I’m so jealous.
Nov 28, 2014
Nov 28, 2014
A Christmas Story, brought to life through animatronics and a lot of love
Nov 28, 2014
Nov 27, 2014
One more thing to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014
Canned, jellied cranberry sauce will not go the way of the dodo (or the Twinkie) if I have anything to say about it.
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 27, 2014
18 reasons for me to be thankful on Thanksgiving 2014
Nov 27, 2014
Nov 26, 2014
The MRI boutique: My next great business idea. Who wants to be my first investor?
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014
Cooler than his father ever was or will be
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 25, 2014
The 8 lowest forms of human communication (2014 update)
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 25, 2014
Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Nov 25, 2014
Nov 24, 2014
Interstellar should be a TV show
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 24, 2014
High school students wrote and produced raps based upon one of my books
Nov 24, 2014
Nov 23, 2014
Bread bags on your feet was apparently a thing. Not just my family’s desperate attempt to keep our feet dry in the snow.
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 23, 2014
Budo loves Max
Nov 23, 2014
Nov 22, 2014
I went to the movies and met an amazing young woman and a loud-mouthed racist.
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014
Farmer Charlie
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 21, 2014
One of my fictional characters has found his way into math class
Nov 21, 2014
Nov 20, 2014
How much would you pay for one more hour in your day. Hint: There is a correct answer, and most Americans got it wrong.
Nov 20, 2014
Nov 19, 2014
BJ Novak’s new children’s book is annoyingly brilliant, just like everything else he does annoyingly well.
Nov 19, 2014
Nov 18, 2014
Adult sized Underoos might be even better than a sexy Princess Leia costume.
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014
A simple declaration and a smidgen of self confidence can launch a business and change your life. Just look at my mother-in-law.
Nov 18, 2014
Nov 17, 2014
3 most important rules of the thank you note
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014
My father rode horses all his life. I rode horses until they were taken away. Watching my kids ride horses, even for a day, was magical.
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 16, 2014
Perhaps I have more in common with the Matthew Dicks of Des Moines, Iowa than just our names and our mug shots
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 15, 2014
Sometimes I think that my daughter is already cooler than I will ever be.
Nov 15, 2014
Nov 15, 2014
New word: Truché
Nov 15, 2014
Nov 14, 2014
I have a lot of stories to tell. More than you could ever imagine. I suspect that Bill Murray would understand why.
Nov 14, 2014
Nov 13, 2014
My possibly petulant “I told you so” climate change Kickstarter idea: I need your feedback. Am I an idiot?
Nov 13, 2014
Nov 13, 2014
My Daddy gnaws on raw pumpkin.
Nov 13, 2014
Nov 12, 2014
I was once homeless, living in my 1992 Toyota Tercel. But that still seemed spacious compared to this apartment.
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 11, 2014
Seriously badass porcupine
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014
She can find her own bed, and it hurt.
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 10, 2014
Christmas seems to have arrived early this year, and shut the hell up.
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 10, 2014
“I’m not a scientist” is a perfectly acceptable response to climate change questions, as long as you’re willing to acknowledge everything else that you are not.
Nov 10, 2014
Nov 9, 2014
The McRib is back. It’s delicious. And there’s nothing wrong with it, you closed-minded, pretentious food snobs.
Nov 9, 2014
Nov 8, 2014
I want to be asked more rhetorical questions
Nov 8, 2014
Nov 8, 2014
I never realized how truly disturbing the opening sequences to 1980’s TV shows were until now.
Nov 8, 2014
Nov 7, 2014
No technology is a great way to teach. Also, PowerPoint is more than two decades old. It doesn’t count as technology anymore.
Nov 7, 2014
Nov 7, 2014
My son doesn’t give a damn about my deadlines.
Nov 7, 2014
Nov 6, 2014
It would be amazing if my daughter became a firefighter when she grew up. My wife may disagree slightly.
Nov 6, 2014
Nov 6, 2014
Hunter Thompson once retyped The Great Gatsby just to feel what it was like to write a great novel. What a stupid waste of time.
Nov 6, 2014
Nov 5, 2014
How I Function on Less Than 6 Hours of Sleep (and how you could, too)
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014
No electricity. No touch screen. No Internet connection. Just centrifugal force and joy.
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 4, 2014
Still in love
Nov 4, 2014
Nov 3, 2014
A bungled MVP presentation demonstrates a truth about storytelling. Also, I’m available for hire, Chevy. And you need me. Desperately.
Nov 3, 2014
Nov 3, 2014
My son wants attention. Just not from me. And it’s starting to hurt a little.
Nov 3, 2014
Nov 2, 2014
The vastly underutilized “You told me so.”
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 2, 2014
The two days that I will not miss my children and pets one bit
Nov 2, 2014
Nov 1, 2014
He can sing the Clean Up song. Does this mean he might actually learn to clean up someday?
Nov 1, 2014
Nov 1, 2014
Resolution update: October 2014
Nov 1, 2014
October 2014
Oct 31, 2014
Halloween has meant many different things to me depending upon the year. Have your Halloweens followed a similar trajectory?
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014
People will still try to destroy you.
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 30, 2014
Who is watching these political ads?
Oct 30, 2014
Oct 30, 2014
Our little yoga clocks
Oct 30, 2014
Oct 29, 2014
11 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was 20
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 28, 2014
Today will be one of the hardest days of parenting so far. I know I’m lucky in this respect, but there is still a hole in my heart.
Oct 28, 2014
Oct 27, 2014
Don’t say goodbye to the bride and groom. Just leave. Let it be your final gift to them.
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 27, 2014
I began the day as a depressed and angry idiot. I ended the day with laughter and rainbows and sunshine. Literally. The lesson: Don’t give up hope.
Oct 27, 2014
Oct 26, 2014
My son cracked his head open with a lamp. My wife’s reaction to his head wound was unusual but surprisingly typical.
Oct 26, 2014
Oct 25, 2014
My new startup idea: Rate My Parents
Oct 25, 2014
Oct 25, 2014
The boy loves his yoga
Oct 25, 2014
Oct 24, 2014
Something is funny
Oct 24, 2014
Oct 23, 2014
Why does this photo make me so sad?
Oct 23, 2014
Oct 22, 2014
I wonder this all the time.
Oct 22, 2014
Oct 21, 2014
Hack a friend’s Facebook profile. Have fun and do some good all at the same time.
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014
Hot Buzz About Books and Book Clubs
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 20, 2014
Conscientiousness is the most important trait. This may explain how I manage to overcome the absence of so many others.
Oct 20, 2014
Oct 19, 2014
Favorite girls
Oct 19, 2014
Oct 18, 2014
Death helps. Steve Jobs knew this, and unlike me, he didn’t need to die in order to learn it.
Oct 18, 2014
Oct 17, 2014
My kids love each other so much, and you can shut your mouth about it.
Oct 17, 2014
Oct 16, 2014
The difference between playing school and teaching school
Oct 16, 2014
Oct 15, 2014
A race to the bottom: Which state will be the last to legalize same sex marriage?
Oct 15, 2014
Oct 14, 2014
Teachers: Stop commenting, positively or negatively, on your student’s physical appearance. It’s only hurting them.
Oct 14, 2014
Oct 14, 2014
Hemingway was an idiot. Write sober.
Oct 14, 2014
Oct 13, 2014
John Steinbeck was an unrealistically and obscenely mature man
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014
The Mystery of Prince Rupert’s Drop: A small piece of glass made amazing
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 12, 2014
Productivity tip #11: What "I didn't have enough time" really means.
Oct 12, 2014
Oct 11, 2014
“Guess what?” You sound like an idiot when you say “Guess what?”
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 11, 2014
Learning to be a grandfather from the best
Oct 11, 2014
Oct 10, 2014
Funnier than some big budget comedies
Oct 10, 2014
Oct 9, 2014
How I establish the rules of my classroom
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 9, 2014
I hope they remember this moment when they want to kill each other.
Oct 9, 2014
Oct 8, 2014
Saturday morning cartoons are no more. A sad day for someone whose 27 year friendship may have been predicated on a Saturday morning cartoon theme song.
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014
There can only be one explanation for a Republican campaign ad as sexist and stupid as this.
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 7, 2014
Is it wrong for me to find this Wallkill Mighty Mites clip nearly as entertaining as the Patriots victory over the Bengals?
Oct 7, 2014
Oct 7, 2014
Hot Buzz About Books and Book Clubs
Oct 7, 2014
Oct 6, 2014
No one wants to see your photos of the sunrise or the sunset.
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014
Let’s put an end to the Miss America pageant by making anyone who watches it feel small and stupid and uninformed.
Oct 6, 2014
Oct 5, 2014
I have never used an em dash. I don’t even know how to make an em dash. But you can still find them in my books.
Oct 5, 2014
Oct 5, 2014
Beautiful wife. Scolded boy. Molded in plastic.
Oct 5, 2014
Oct 4, 2014
This is what happens when you work in the industry for 17 years.
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 4, 2014
A man shouted at me. Swore at me. My response was not appropriate. Unfortunately.
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 4, 2014
Daddy is dumb. Mommy is a genius.
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 3, 2014
This short film presents a situation that is both ridiculous and reality. And that scares the hell out of me.
Oct 3, 2014
Oct 2, 2014
My story was featured on The Moth’s podcast this week. I still get goose bumps.
Oct 2, 2014
Oct 2, 2014
Clara's September bus stop outfits
Oct 2, 2014
Oct 1, 2014
While my son was joyously climbing aboard fire engines and tractors, my daughter and I were engulfed in tragedy and heartache.
Oct 1, 2014
Oct 1, 2014
Resolution update: September 2014
Oct 1, 2014
September 2014
Sep 30, 2014
Unacceptable platitude #7: “Fair does not mean equal.”
Sep 30, 2014
Sep 29, 2014
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2014
Sep 29, 2014
Sep 28, 2014
Stupid yoga may be turning my son into a dweeb. Or perhaps he’s trying to get the attention of women like his father once did.
Sep 28, 2014
Sep 27, 2014
Office space turned dance hall, yoga studio, lunch room hell. I bet they’re all organic, gluten-free, transcendentalist vegans, too.
Sep 27, 2014
Sep 26, 2014
My five year-old daughter has discovered the BEST COMEBACK EVER
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014
September 26, 1983: The day a Soviet colonel and forgotten hero saved the world from nuclear destruction.
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 25, 2014
Poop is here.
Sep 25, 2014
Sep 25, 2014
ESPN makes the same stupid mistake that they criticized NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for two months ago.
Sep 25, 2014
Sep 24, 2014
My annual plea to the girls in my fifth grade class: Maintain your advantage over the boys. Rule the world.
Sep 24, 2014
Sep 23, 2014
My daughter received her first library card. Her father might be more excited about it than she is, and for good reason.
Sep 23, 2014
Sep 22, 2014
I have a simple, inexpensive, highly effective means of improving learning for all students: Make things fun.
Sep 22, 2014
Sep 21, 2014
This author found a way to sell books with sticks and leaves and a little bit of twine.
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 21, 2014
Our unusually dark and strange family lullaby
Sep 21, 2014
Sep 20, 2014
The Grecian Bend was stupid, but no. Heels are still stupider.
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 19, 2014
There was a dead man in our hotel room.
Sep 19, 2014
Sep 18, 2014
Star Wars is nothing without the music
Sep 18, 2014
Sep 17, 2014
Purposeful procrastination: Are slightly lower grades really all that bad?
Sep 17, 2014
Sep 16, 2014
The tyranny of the syllabus
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014
My children visited a bookstore on the last day of summer. Their behavior was shocking.
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 15, 2014
My best piece of parenting advice
Sep 15, 2014
Sep 15, 2014
Just like his mom. And his dad, actually.
Sep 15, 2014
Sep 14, 2014
If I was able to choose my children’s teachers, this is what I would want more than anything else.
Sep 14, 2014
Sep 14, 2014
When you choose the name Moxie Marlinspike, you have to expect people to ask about the name. Just answer the question.
Sep 14, 2014
Sep 13, 2014
Men are far more likely to make stupid decisions in sports. But are the reasons for this stupidity all bad? I don’t think so.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014
The range of emotions at the bus stop on Friday was astounding.
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 12, 2014
At last I have a plan for old age
Sep 12, 2014
Sep 11, 2014
The Moth: Secret Bedroom Move
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014
Bathtub interloper
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 10, 2014
PowerPoint presentations, game shows, skinny dipping, and now The Oscars: Quirks of the many book clubs I have attended
Sep 10, 2014
Sep 9, 2014
Charlie!
Sep 9, 2014
Sep 9, 2014
Priceless moments at an ATM
Sep 9, 2014
Sep 8, 2014
The dark is coming.
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 8, 2014
Little old ladies on a plane
Sep 8, 2014
Sep 7, 2014
Anything but a banana
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 7, 2014
Czech edition of Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 6, 2014
Stupid nostalgia
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014
Yesterday’s bus stop goodbye
Sep 6, 2014
Sep 5, 2014
Her possible rejection of the manicure might be her best decision yet.
Sep 5, 2014
Sep 5, 2014
The Moth: The Cardboard Knight
Sep 5, 2014
Sep 4, 2014
We bought an IKEA step stool. Thanks to the directions, we know not to look closely at it.
Sep 4, 2014
Sep 4, 2014
The truth is sometimes truly better than fiction. This is just such a case.
Sep 4, 2014
Sep 3, 2014
One of the greatest sources of disagreement in my marriage centers on Kevin Bacon and a questionable dance number.
Sep 3, 2014
Sep 3, 2014
My daughter’s bus stop is completely ridiculous, and I so wish I could be there.
Sep 3, 2014
Sep 2, 2014
The Moth: No Santa
Sep 2, 2014
Sep 1, 2014
Not so internal dialogue
Sep 1, 2014
Sep 1, 2014
Resolution update: August 2014
Sep 1, 2014
August 2014
Aug 31, 2014
Economy of blessings is paramount to my son. Either that or he’s already rejecting religion.
Aug 31, 2014
Aug 31, 2014
Most threatening (and perhaps effective) example of signage ever
Aug 31, 2014
Aug 30, 2014
This is real, despite all my instincts telling me otherwise.
Aug 30, 2014
Aug 29, 2014
Men humiliate men. Constantly. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Aug 29, 2014
Aug 29, 2014
Saddest photos ever taken
Aug 29, 2014
Aug 28, 2014
Open a toy. Record. Make a fortune.
Aug 28, 2014
Aug 28, 2014
I went to Maine to officiate a wedding for a couple I had never met, and it wasn’t crazy.
Aug 28, 2014
Aug 27, 2014
The Louisiana Literacy Test of 1963 is astonishing. Impossibly difficult and truly evil. I think I’ll give it to my students.
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014
A perfect visual representation of how I feel about my daughter’s first day of kindergarten
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 27, 2014
Speak Up: Storytelling Workshop launching
Aug 27, 2014
Aug 26, 2014
My maybe-girlfriend asked if we could watch The Simpsons. I knew I had found a wife.
Aug 26, 2014
Aug 26, 2014
My kindergartener
Aug 26, 2014
Aug 25, 2014
My daughter is making new friends for me
Aug 25, 2014
Aug 25, 2014
Perfect cure for the first day of school blues
Aug 25, 2014
Aug 24, 2014
Why does writing instruction so often suck?
Aug 24, 2014
Aug 23, 2014
There is nothing wrong with a married couple sleeping in separate beds. There’s something very wrong with allowing society to stop you from doing so.
Aug 23, 2014
Aug 22, 2014
Love the book. Hate the fact that it only took Bradbury 18 days to write it.
Aug 22, 2014
Aug 21, 2014
Advice for teachers about to embark on another school year: Stay out of the classroom
Aug 21, 2014
Aug 20, 2014
Boyhood made all the difference for me.
Aug 20, 2014
Aug 20, 2014
Can you imagine a better way to start the day?
Aug 20, 2014
Aug 19, 2014
What is the best way to invest one dollar?
Aug 19, 2014
Aug 19, 2014
My book club once featured skinny dipping. This book club has a big time college football player for a member. I think they win.
Aug 19, 2014
Aug 18, 2014
Stuff I don’t know: Flowers
Aug 18, 2014
Aug 17, 2014
Happy boy
Aug 17, 2014
Aug 17, 2014
Plants are smarter than we ever imagined. Eating them is no less cruel than eating a cow. And cows taste better.
Aug 17, 2014
Aug 16, 2014
She’s worried about her husband’s diapers. She should be more worried about her child’s early morning routine.
Aug 16, 2014
Aug 16, 2014
Working hard for the money: 2014 update
Aug 16, 2014
Aug 15, 2014
“Where do you get your ideas?” is an understandable but impossible-to-answer question for authors. But “Nuns at Scout camp” will be one of my answers someday.
Aug 15, 2014
Aug 14, 2014
I won a Moth StorySLAM, and that wasn’t the best part of the night. Seriously.
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 14, 2014
This is not the look a father wants to see on his little girl's face.
Aug 14, 2014
Aug 13, 2014
Dungeons & Dragons brought me back to writing and saved my career.
Aug 13, 2014
Aug 12, 2014
My first date advice: Tell stories.
Aug 12, 2014
Aug 12, 2014
Our daughter told us to shut up, and she was right.
Aug 12, 2014
Aug 11, 2014
Productivity tip #10: Get out of bed.
Aug 11, 2014
Aug 11, 2014
Our children, circa 1840
Aug 11, 2014
Aug 10, 2014
Megan Washington’s stutter is just perfect
Aug 10, 2014
Aug 9, 2014
My mother looks unbelievably young, and I look even more poorly dressed than usual.
Aug 9, 2014
Aug 9, 2014
Unfair assumption #19: The desire for a specific postage stamp is a clear indication of the need for a life.
Aug 9, 2014
Aug 8, 2014
Possible future artist (and something else, I hope)
Aug 8, 2014
Aug 8, 2014
Stupid super dads suck
Aug 8, 2014
Aug 7, 2014
When it comes of purposeful procrastination, Mark Twain agreed with me. I can’t be nearly as stupid as people think.
Aug 7, 2014
Aug 6, 2014
Amber has every right to hate Sophia. I should know.
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014
Productivity tip #9: If your friends think your boyfriend is a jerk, he’s a jerk.
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 5, 2014
I suffered a wardrobe malfunction. I told the audience that they suck. Just another day in the life of an author.
Aug 5, 2014
Aug 5, 2014
I hereby release myself of all parental guilt regarding the iPad. It was shortsighted, stupid, and purposelessly nostalgic.
Aug 5, 2014
Aug 4, 2014
My daughter thinks she’s found the next Jackson Pollock. Or maybe she just loves her brother.
Aug 4, 2014
Aug 3, 2014
Five ways I’ll know that I’ve finally made it as a screenwriter.
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 3, 2014
I wrote about a dream I had last night. Three dreams, actually. But hearing about dreams usually sucks, so feel free to ignore.
Aug 3, 2014
Aug 2, 2014
Married to Carrie-Anne Moss
Aug 2, 2014
Aug 1, 2014
Grandparents kicking millennials’ asses
Aug 1, 2014
Aug 1, 2014
Resolution update: July 2014
Aug 1, 2014
July 2014
Jul 31, 2014
What do you want inscribed on your gravestone?
Jul 31, 2014
Jul 30, 2014
John Lennon’s “Imagine” is not a good song. I think you’ll agree.
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 30, 2014
Lucky Nani
Jul 30, 2014
Jul 29, 2014
The solution to all of my ponytail, pigtail, and braiding woes
Jul 29, 2014
Jul 29, 2014
Friendly’s slogans leave a lot to be desired
Jul 29, 2014
Jul 28, 2014
You’ll be shocked to discover who favors old fashioned ink and paper over digital composition
Jul 28, 2014
Jul 28, 2014
She can't fly, which would be cool, but my daughter's super power is still impressive.
Jul 28, 2014
Jul 27, 2014
Sister loves brother
Jul 27, 2014
Jul 26, 2014
I don’t love bathing my kids. Except I often do.
Jul 26, 2014
Jul 26, 2014
My annual list of my shortcomings and flaws is being written now. Suggestions welcomed.
Jul 26, 2014
Jul 25, 2014
Boy learns the alphabet on his own. Father takes credit.
Jul 25, 2014
Jul 25, 2014
Future Futurist. Actually, current futurist, looking for his first paycheck.
Jul 25, 2014
Jul 24, 2014
What were the three most important decisions of your life?
Jul 24, 2014
Jul 23, 2014
Own your crazy
Jul 23, 2014
Jul 22, 2014
I live in a country where Janet Jackson’s boob receives more attention than net neutrality.
Jul 22, 2014
Jul 22, 2014
It’s just a table with some crayons and paints and paper, but in a surprising way, it’s changed the course of my children's lives.
Jul 22, 2014
Jul 21, 2014
Declare your parental pride. Make the world better for the parent of a newborn.
Jul 21, 2014
Jul 20, 2014
Contrary to popular belief, parents and teachers are well aware of the existence of Sparknotes.
Jul 20, 2014
Jul 19, 2014
My daughter, the old lady.
Jul 19, 2014
Jul 18, 2014
A visit from Mom
Jul 18, 2014
Jul 18, 2014
New rule: Women should not make sweeping generalizations about women.
Jul 18, 2014
Jul 17, 2014
Stop the retirement madness. Please.
Jul 17, 2014
Jul 16, 2014
Starbucks offers me one more reason to love my wife
Jul 16, 2014
Jul 16, 2014
I am like a tree in one very specific way, at least according to my daughter.
Jul 16, 2014
Jul 15, 2014
99 more reasons that I love Elysha Dicks
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 14, 2014
The amazing, astounding Abercrombie adults
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 14, 2014
I worry that George R.R. Martin will die before finishing his Song of Fire and Ice series, and yes, that’s not a nice thing to think.
Jul 14, 2014
Jul 13, 2014
Productivity tip #8: A succinct and accurate description of my work flow
Jul 13, 2014
Jul 12, 2014
No one talks baby off the hill
Jul 12, 2014
Jul 12, 2014
The exuberance of elderly warriors
Jul 12, 2014
Jul 11, 2014
Serious geography geek material
Jul 11, 2014
Jul 10, 2014
The boys at the Big Swim Meet had no idea how fleeting boyhood is. Once gone, you will long for it forever.
Jul 10, 2014
Jul 10, 2014
Someone ruined cookies, too.
Jul 10, 2014
Jul 9, 2014
Vegetable ice cream is wrong.
Jul 9, 2014
Jul 9, 2014
Sometimes a cell phone holster can tell you a lot about a person
Jul 9, 2014
Jul 8, 2014
My wife is annoyed by our 10% deal. I’m so glad.
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 8, 2014
Posthumous vindication sucks.
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 7, 2014
Carte Blanche Summers: My first column
Jul 7, 2014
Jul 7, 2014
The payoff for a writer or a performer is an infinitesimal sliver of the job. Too many forget this and aren’t willing to do the work.
Jul 7, 2014
Jul 6, 2014
The best clause in any contract ever
Jul 6, 2014
Jul 6, 2014
Stay close, little ones.
Jul 6, 2014
Jul 5, 2014
Most of us don’t watch Fox News, little ones.
Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014
You can’t blow out electric lights…
Jul 5, 2014
Jul 4, 2014
There are many reasons why the death penalty should be abolished. But one reason should be reason enough.
Jul 4, 2014
Jul 4, 2014
I’m left handed but learned to play baseball right handed to save money.
Jul 4, 2014
Jul 3, 2014
My first paid writing gig was for my very own paper mill. It made me the writer I am today.
Jul 3, 2014
Jul 3, 2014
I’m a much better dancer than my son.
Jul 3, 2014
Jul 2, 2014
Moth victories are so much better with my septuagenarian hipster in-laws in attendance
Jul 2, 2014
Jul 2, 2014
My wife’s solution to the problem was to knock on a stranger’s door and ask to borrow clothing. Seriously.
Jul 2, 2014
Jul 1, 2014
The question all successful people can answer immediately: What’s your super power?
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014
So this happened for about 30 minutes yesterday. Should I be worried?
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014
Resolution update: June 2014
Jul 1, 2014
June 2014
Jun 30, 2014
The ad has good intentions, but it doesn’t depict reality, and that could be more damaging to girls than no ad at all.
Jun 30, 2014
Jun 30, 2014
Has there ever been a better big sister?
Jun 30, 2014
Jun 29, 2014
Hilarious. Genius. Not entirely safe for work.
Jun 29, 2014
Jun 29, 2014
Manly words. Girly words. How many of each do you know?
Jun 29, 2014
Jun 28, 2014
Halloween circa 1978
Jun 28, 2014
Jun 28, 2014
Truth
Jun 28, 2014
Jun 27, 2014
Boy fakes his own kidnapping to avoid dentist. A hero emerges in the process.
Jun 27, 2014
Jun 27, 2014
Sad, pathetic children
Jun 27, 2014
Jun 27, 2014
Speak Up tickets, dates for upcoming shows, and a writer's workshop launch
Jun 27, 2014
Jun 26, 2014
Golf is in a decline because people are stupid.
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 26, 2014
Dating in a perfect, bookish world
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 25, 2014
Someone stole my idea for professional best man and made a movie out of it.
Jun 25, 2014
Jun 25, 2014
Preschool graduation!
Jun 25, 2014
Jun 24, 2014
Skinned knees are no big deal. Preferable, even.
Jun 24, 2014
Jun 24, 2014
Four of my books and one dead unicorn
Jun 24, 2014
Jun 23, 2014
Speak Up at The Mount!
Jun 23, 2014
Jun 23, 2014
Productivity tip #7: Push your lawnmower.
Jun 23, 2014
Jun 22, 2014
Bad genes. At least according to my wife.
Jun 22, 2014
Jun 21, 2014
I am a legitimate fashion icon. A trendsetter. The New York Times says so.
Jun 21, 2014
Jun 20, 2014
Chef Clara
Jun 20, 2014
Jun 20, 2014
Every day contains a story
Jun 20, 2014
Jun 19, 2014
Walking an elephant at the mall is still fun
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 19, 2014
The demographics of the Republican Party are astounding.
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 18, 2014
Best Internet comment ever
Jun 18, 2014
Jun 17, 2014
Did you know that Daddy doesn't sleep. My daughter has proof.
Jun 17, 2014
Jun 17, 2014
Mens is wrong
Jun 17, 2014
Jun 16, 2014
Pitchers who intentionally hit batters are cowards
Jun 16, 2014
Jun 16, 2014
Future laborer, I hope.
Jun 16, 2014
Jun 15, 2014
Little boy in a box
Jun 15, 2014
Jun 14, 2014
My daughter’s has a tough road ahead. Her parents do, too.
Jun 14, 2014
Jun 13, 2014
If given the choice, I choose this tea party over the one that advocates killing gay people.
Jun 13, 2014
Jun 12, 2014
Did you know that Fastball’s “The Way” is a song about an elderly couple that was found dead at the bottom of a cliff?
Jun 12, 2014
Jun 11, 2014
Opinions on parenting that differ from your own should not turn you into a raging lunatic.
Jun 11, 2014
Jun 11, 2014
“House on a Hill”
Jun 11, 2014
Jun 10, 2014
He loves trash. If only my greatest desires were so simple.
Jun 10, 2014
Jun 9, 2014
What is Peter Segal thinking? You don’t replace an 80 year-old man with a 74 year-old man.
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014
The Moth: Battle at Big Sky
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 8, 2014
My emotional pants
Jun 8, 2014
Jun 8, 2014
My constant reminder
Jun 8, 2014
Jun 7, 2014
Our newest superhero (and her underwear is on the inside!)
Jun 7, 2014
Jun 6, 2014
No better start to the day
Jun 6, 2014
Jun 5, 2014
Remember Tank Man.
Jun 5, 2014
Jun 5, 2014
I’m apparently the dishwasher.
Jun 5, 2014
Jun 4, 2014
Three years ago, I dreamed of telling a story on a Moth stage. Today I am a storyteller. Life can change quickly if you give it a chance.
Jun 4, 2014
Jun 3, 2014
My new best friend lives in Ecuador and has great taste in books and culture
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 2, 2014
My TEDx Somerville Talk: “A Life of Yes”
Jun 2, 2014
Jun 1, 2014
Little litter combatant
Jun 1, 2014
Jun 1, 2014
Resolution update: May 2014
Jun 1, 2014
May 2014
May 31, 2014
She claims that she wasn’t going for matchy-matchy, but I don’t believe her.
May 31, 2014
May 31, 2014
I want one now.
May 31, 2014
May 30, 2014
Just eliminate gift registries entirely. Also, divorce registries are disgusting.
May 30, 2014
May 30, 2014
Our Norman Rockwell daughter
May 30, 2014
May 29, 2014
“Fun” is the word most often missing from education today. It’s practically nonexistent.
May 29, 2014
May 29, 2014
The three great leaders of my life
May 29, 2014
May 28, 2014
Possible lessons to be learned from Weezer’s unexpected path to success
May 28, 2014
May 27, 2014
The marching band and free hot dogs were great, but the drag queen was the best part of the parade.
May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014
The New York Post’s Kim Kardashian - Kanye West wedding announcement was quite educational.
May 27, 2014
May 26, 2014
I had a story on This American Life. The reaction to this news has been interesting.
May 26, 2014
May 26, 2014
Are toddlers really smarter than the elderly?
May 26, 2014
May 25, 2014
The fascinating history of Softsoap: A lesson in ingenuity and tenacity
May 25, 2014
May 24, 2014
Upcoming appearances
May 24, 2014
May 24, 2014
The secret to happiness is based upon perspective and expectation.
May 24, 2014
May 23, 2014
Storytellers are important, but it’s within the audience that you find the true beauty of storytelling.
May 23, 2014
May 22, 2014
I am happily clueless about many things. It seems to make people very angry.
May 22, 2014
May 22, 2014
SportsCenter anchor? No big deal. Actor in a 30 second commercial? AWE INSPIRING.
May 22, 2014
May 21, 2014
Deathbed regrets revisited 2014
May 21, 2014
May 20, 2014
The brief but surprising history of Uggs
May 20, 2014
May 19, 2014
Small boy. Big words. Enormous inspiration.
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014
The kid is a player.
May 19, 2014
May 18, 2014
Students can do amazing things when they want to annoy their teacher.
May 18, 2014
May 17, 2014
How to Stop a Wedding: Much better advice than what Slate had to offer.
May 17, 2014
May 17, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Cara Paiuk
May 17, 2014
May 16, 2014
Second-hand Milo
May 16, 2014
May 16, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Lynelle Abel
May 16, 2014
May 15, 2014
Our tiny barrier to productivity
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014
The Patriots new jersey guarantee highlights the struggles of NFL players
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Angela Lovell
May 15, 2014
May 14, 2014
So sadly true
May 14, 2014
May 14, 2014
Speak Up storytelling: Risa Sugarman
May 14, 2014
May 13, 2014
Why do I remember my childhood with such clarity when so many others do not?
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Tom Reed-Swale
May 13, 2014
May 12, 2014
Watch this.
May 12, 2014
May 11, 2014
Best Teacher Appreciation Day gift ever
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014
The NFL draft is kind of dumb. But this story is AWESOME.
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Doreen Stern
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Alan MacKenzie
May 11, 2014
May 10, 2014
Goodnight Moon with her little brother
May 10, 2014
May 9, 2014
Napping will kill you. Science says so.
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014
Productivity tip #6: Calculate the cost of your meeting and act accordingly
May 9, 2014
May 8, 2014
College is possible for all. Even for those who graduate from high school and find themselves on their own.
May 8, 2014
May 7, 2014
What's the Hardest Part of Parenting?
May 7, 2014
May 7, 2014
Stop and watch.
May 7, 2014
May 6, 2014
Two conditions are required for justified embarrassment. If these conditions are not present, move on with your life.
May 6, 2014
May 5, 2014
Three years of storytelling with The Moth
May 5, 2014
May 5, 2014
Our children can entertain themselves for long stretches of time. I fear it’s the result of exceedingly boring parents.
May 5, 2014
May 4, 2014
Stupid but forgiven
May 4, 2014
May 4, 2014
The best use of cell phone jamming technology is not being utilized, and I don’t understand why.
May 4, 2014
May 3, 2014
A simple solution to the lemon and lime shortage that will improve your life at the same time
May 3, 2014
May 2, 2014
The double standard of sexist statements
May 2, 2014
May 2, 2014
Puddle jumpers
May 2, 2014
May 1, 2014
My appearance on The Moth Radio Hour
May 1, 2014
May 1, 2014
I want one.
May 1, 2014
May 1, 2014
Resolution update: April 2014
May 1, 2014
April 2014
Apr 30, 2014
Poetry is not for the faint of heart. At least mine apparently isn’t.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014
Quite possibly the cutest moment in my son’s entire life, which would be unfortunate.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 29, 2014
We don’t always treat kids fairly when it comes to food and choice
Apr 29, 2014
Apr 29, 2014
Little people pushing little carriages
Apr 29, 2014
Apr 28, 2014
My English degree finally pays off.
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 28, 2014
Look what my wife made!
Apr 28, 2014
Apr 27, 2014
New rule: NO MORE WEATHER TALK
Apr 27, 2014
Apr 26, 2014
It’s the second parent’s second opinion that is often most valuable
Apr 26, 2014
Apr 25, 2014
Productivity tip #5: Fewer shoes
Apr 25, 2014
Apr 25, 2014
Someone actually ruined bacon.
Apr 25, 2014
Apr 24, 2014
No makeup is a thing now. Turns out that I was merely ahead of the curve.
Apr 24, 2014
Apr 24, 2014
Speak Up tickets now on sale
Apr 24, 2014
Apr 23, 2014
Based upon his 8 tips for writing short stories, I think Vonnegut would’ve made a great storyteller.
Apr 23, 2014
Apr 23, 2014
Freeze this moment, damn it.
Apr 23, 2014
Apr 22, 2014
Why we don’t fight
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 21, 2014
Giving my girl a smile and some good luck
Apr 21, 2014
Apr 21, 2014
Productivity tip #4: Walk fast.
Apr 21, 2014
Apr 20, 2014
Incompetent customer service saves Amtrak and Boston Market a total of $33.03 and costs them customers and reputation as a result.
Apr 20, 2014
Apr 19, 2014
Speak Up offering storytelling workshops
Apr 19, 2014
Apr 19, 2014
Will my daughter miss out on the culture of cruel pranks and purposeful, public embarrassment because she is a girl? If so, I’m sad. Also, why?
Apr 19, 2014
Apr 18, 2014
15 thoughts from a Moth StorySLAM
Apr 18, 2014
Apr 18, 2014
Did we buy this for the cat or the boy?
Apr 18, 2014
Apr 17, 2014
Photoshop? No.
Apr 17, 2014
Apr 17, 2014
Charlie says yes to chocolate-covered matzo
Apr 17, 2014
Apr 16, 2014
Completely cringe-worthy and painful to watch(unless you’re mean like me)
Apr 16, 2014
Apr 16, 2014
Don’t even try to invade North Hampton
Apr 16, 2014
Apr 15, 2014
Dictionary revision required
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014
Spite is good. Science agrees. Tim Martin agrees.
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 14, 2014
Writers Abroad and perhaps a writing program for adults, too?
Apr 14, 2014
Apr 14, 2014
Chipotle and education: Upside-down organizations where the best people are removed from the most important positions
Apr 14, 2014
Apr 13, 2014
24 thoughts from my weekend at Booktopia
Apr 13, 2014
Apr 13, 2014
My boy and me
Apr 13, 2014
Apr 12, 2014
So much for Mommy and Daddy…
Apr 12, 2014
Apr 12, 2014
If no one believes your lie, what’s the point?
Apr 12, 2014
Apr 11, 2014
My novels are ruining geometry class and destroying readers. The unexpected benefits of publishing a book.
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 11, 2014
Upcoming speaking gigs
Apr 11, 2014
Apr 10, 2014
Intelligent disobedience
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 10, 2014
A good life
Apr 10, 2014
Apr 9, 2014
Early morning warriors (or lunatics)
Apr 9, 2014
Apr 9, 2014
Cheerios and a tower
Apr 9, 2014
Apr 8, 2014
Love me some angry bigots
Apr 8, 2014
Apr 8, 2014
The New York Times gets haiku all wrong, and I’m infuriated. Probably more than I should be.
Apr 8, 2014
Apr 7, 2014
Casual Friday EVERYDAY could save the world (and your soul)
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 7, 2014
Unnecessarily dangerous
Apr 7, 2014
Apr 6, 2014
My kids like flowers. I don’t get it.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 5, 2014
Suspiciously perfect start to the day
Apr 5, 2014
Apr 4, 2014
You’re not in trouble if the only consequence is a verbal reminder.
Apr 4, 2014
Apr 4, 2014
Street typography
Apr 4, 2014
Apr 3, 2014
My uninspired work space
Apr 3, 2014
Apr 2, 2014
I will zip no more!
Apr 2, 2014
Apr 2, 2014
Resolution update: March 2014
Apr 2, 2014
Apr 1, 2014
Mary Poppins was right about teaching. We would all do well to listen to her.
Apr 1, 2014
Apr 1, 2014
Mother-son moments
Apr 1, 2014
March 2014
Mar 31, 2014
I’ve always thought that a library fine was a good thing. Unexpected income. Some librarians have disagreed. Am I wrong?
Mar 31, 2014
Mar 30, 2014
Itsy Bitsy Spider and Wheels on the Bus
Mar 30, 2014
Mar 30, 2014
Never took the SAT
Mar 30, 2014
Mar 29, 2014
If you haven’t seen White House Down yet, don’t. You’ve probably seen it already and just don’t realize it.
Mar 29, 2014
Mar 28, 2014
Things You Should Do Everyday to Improve Your Life For Real: Give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
Mar 28, 2014
Mar 28, 2014
Speak Up storytelling: Pam Murphy
Mar 28, 2014
Mar 28, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Andy Christie
Mar 28, 2014
Mar 27, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Kathy Binder
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 26, 2014
Television is so much better today
Mar 26, 2014
Mar 26, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Lynelle Abel
Mar 26, 2014
Mar 25, 2014
The Moth: Sit ups
Mar 25, 2014
Mar 25, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Robert Fiedler
Mar 25, 2014
Mar 25, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Phil Woods
Mar 25, 2014
Mar 24, 2014
Thoughts on The Book of Mormon
Mar 24, 2014
Mar 24, 2014
She found my hat.
Mar 24, 2014
Mar 24, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Robin Gelfenbien
Mar 24, 2014
Mar 23, 2014
Car seats begone!
Mar 23, 2014
Mar 23, 2014
A more accurate Out of Office reply
Mar 23, 2014
Mar 21, 2014
A humble offer to Dunkin’ Donuts
Mar 21, 2014
Mar 21, 2014
Awaiting the return of King of the Bed
Mar 21, 2014
Mar 21, 2014
Words of encouragement
Mar 21, 2014
Mar 20, 2014
So much for “Vomit-Free Since ‘83”
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 19, 2014
Judd Apatow’s Freaks and Geeks determined the plot. My characters do the same.
Mar 19, 2014
Mar 19, 2014
Starting early
Mar 19, 2014
Mar 18, 2014
Parenting does not suck. It’s just that some people suck at life.
Mar 18, 2014
Mar 17, 2014
Toys don't mean as much when you're not allowed to play indoors.
Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014
A different kind of sibling love
Mar 17, 2014
Mar 16, 2014
Her biggest fan
Mar 16, 2014
Mar 15, 2014
My little farm boy
Mar 15, 2014
Mar 14, 2014
Productivity tip #3: No one cares (or even notices) what you look like.
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014
Wes Anderson loves yellow, orange and brown. I do not.
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 13, 2014
Speak Up!
Mar 13, 2014
Mar 13, 2014
Worst lawyer commercial ever made
Mar 13, 2014
Mar 12, 2014
The possible closing of a school is hard enough already. Compassion and sensitivity should be the order of the day.
Mar 12, 2014
Mar 12, 2014
Clara’s deep thoughts while reading Neil Gaiman’s Instructions
Mar 12, 2014
Mar 11, 2014
Pressure is a privilege
Mar 11, 2014
Mar 11, 2014
Can’t imagine where she gets this.
Mar 11, 2014
Mar 10, 2014
My daughter has an imaginary friend.
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 10, 2014
When you care enough about the lady in your life to purchase an app and automate your expressions of affection
Mar 10, 2014
Mar 9, 2014
My brand new, completely unrealistic, possibly supercilious goal that you should try, too.
Mar 9, 2014
Mar 9, 2014
Brilliant writing can be found anywhere.
Mar 9, 2014
Mar 8, 2014
Fathers don't get to teach their children to swim anymore.
Mar 8, 2014
Mar 8, 2014
Putt-Putt Perfection
Mar 8, 2014
Mar 7, 2014
Amazing Mommy
Mar 7, 2014
Mar 7, 2014
Exit the bigots
Mar 7, 2014
Mar 6, 2014
Japan is a scary place.
Mar 6, 2014
Mar 6, 2014
I had problems with the ending of The Lord of the Rings, but it had little to do with Frodo and Sam’s fate.
Mar 6, 2014
Mar 5, 2014
The greatest source of discontent in my marriage may be this Cadillac commercial, which I adore.
Mar 5, 2014
Mar 5, 2014
The Moth: Deformed Cow and Moonlight Deer
Mar 5, 2014
Mar 4, 2014
Barbara Green is a literary hero in a small town in Italy. And in my heart.
Mar 4, 2014
Mar 4, 2014
North Korean nightmare
Mar 4, 2014
Mar 3, 2014
A new favorite photo of my children
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014
Facebookless friends
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014
Resolution update: February 2014
Mar 3, 2014
Mar 2, 2014
A unicorn and the tendency towards loss aversion result in cleaner teeth and a new idea in behavior management.
Mar 2, 2014
Mar 2, 2014
Man collects Pop Tarts. Pop Tarts turn 50 this week. Man enjoys his 3 minutes of fame.
Mar 2, 2014
Mar 1, 2014
I may not be an author yet, but I write like one.
Mar 1, 2014
February 2014
Feb 28, 2014
Big news does not mean big numbers when it comes to same sex marriage.
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 28, 2014
Ginger was a ginger
Feb 28, 2014
Feb 27, 2014
Teaching is not quite a minimum wage job, despite what my students may think.
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014
The Reverse Nap: Mounting evidence that I am not a crazy person
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 26, 2014
Ignorance is bliss
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014
The Moth: Shoe Thief
Feb 26, 2014
Feb 25, 2014
What kind of food is this?
Feb 25, 2014
Feb 25, 2014
Joining the war against nonplussed is flammable/inflammable
Feb 25, 2014
Feb 24, 2014
I’m launching an email newsletter. What should be included?
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014
For my daughter. And all daughters.
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014
The many faces of Charles Wallace
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 23, 2014
The peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 23, 2014
A death threat, courtesy of the Yellow Pages
Feb 23, 2014
Feb 22, 2014
The Moth: Black and White in Washington
Feb 22, 2014
Feb 22, 2014
A silver lining to rapidly increasing climate change
Feb 22, 2014
Feb 21, 2014
The average husband would choose the cash and time over well appointed fingernails.
Feb 21, 2014
Feb 21, 2014
What the hell is going on in Kansas?
Feb 21, 2014
Feb 20, 2014
Everything happens for a reason, especially when your life is good.
Feb 20, 2014
Feb 20, 2014
Advertising goes both ways.
Feb 20, 2014
Feb 19, 2014
Food allergy skeptics suck.
Feb 19, 2014
Feb 19, 2014
The world is rapidly leaving the bigots behind
Feb 19, 2014
Feb 18, 2014
Dumb people help make dreams come true
Feb 18, 2014
Feb 18, 2014
“Nonplussed” is going down.
Feb 18, 2014
Feb 17, 2014
The best words ever spoken to me. Ever.
Feb 17, 2014
Feb 17, 2014
The shouting is amusing, but it’s the makeup that bothers the hell out of me
Feb 17, 2014
Feb 16, 2014
Fourth greatest compliment ever
Feb 16, 2014
Feb 16, 2014
I’m not careless. I’m just stupid and preoccupied.
Feb 16, 2014
Feb 15, 2014
Am I really so annoying?
Feb 15, 2014
Feb 14, 2014
The most amazing door you will ever see
Feb 14, 2014
Feb 14, 2014
My daughter’s fifth birthday party was violent, competitive and AWESOME
Feb 14, 2014
Feb 13, 2014
NFL players are clearly the most distractible people on the planet
Feb 13, 2014
Feb 13, 2014
Best packaging ever
Feb 13, 2014
Feb 12, 2014
Helicopter parenting has gone national
Feb 12, 2014
Feb 12, 2014
Tim Burton apparently agrees: Spite is the best reason to do anything
Feb 12, 2014
Feb 11, 2014
Productivity tip #2: Listen to the 120 year-old version of yourself and stop playing stupid games on your phone.
Feb 11, 2014
Feb 10, 2014
The definition of hubris
Feb 10, 2014
Feb 10, 2014
More airlines embracing the Spiderman Principle of Meetings and Presentations
Feb 10, 2014
Feb 9, 2014
Self love is a battlefield. In Idaho, at least.
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 9, 2014
Tires in need of slashing
Feb 9, 2014
Feb 8, 2014
Greatest Super Bowl commercial ever
Feb 8, 2014
Feb 7, 2014
I love my job when I don’t hate it.
Feb 7, 2014
Feb 7, 2014
Why I use “Warmly”
Feb 7, 2014
Feb 6, 2014
Upcoming speaking events
Feb 6, 2014
Feb 5, 2014
My daughter used a hammer and built a car. She’s already more competent than her dad.
Feb 5, 2014
Feb 4, 2014
The Spiderman Principle of Meetings and Presentations
Feb 4, 2014
Feb 3, 2014
If Dennis is a dentist, what is a Dicks?
Feb 3, 2014
Feb 3, 2014
Friends should not be allowed to retire if they’re going to have this much fun.
Feb 3, 2014
Feb 2, 2014
I am stupid and sensual
Feb 2, 2014
Feb 2, 2014
Quite possibly the single greatest parenting moment ever
Feb 2, 2014
Feb 1, 2014
Sheryl Sandberg made me feel like a misfit
Feb 1, 2014
Feb 1, 2014
Much improved without me
Feb 1, 2014
Feb 1, 2014
Resolution update: January 2014
Feb 1, 2014
January 2014
Jan 31, 2014
My new favorite photo of my girl
Jan 31, 2014
Jan 30, 2014
Good news! America’s second favorite book is an actual book.
Jan 30, 2014
Jan 30, 2014
I like their bagels, but this doesn’t inspire a return visit from me
Jan 30, 2014
Jan 29, 2014
The Moth: Trigger Pulled
Jan 29, 2014
Jan 29, 2014
My boy has good taste.
Jan 29, 2014
Jan 28, 2014
An unexpected silver lining (including butts with wings) in this brave new publishing world
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 27, 2014
My two words
Jan 27, 2014
Jan 27, 2014
My mother missed my new life by four years.
Jan 27, 2014
Jan 26, 2014
My wife, the fashion designer
Jan 26, 2014
Jan 25, 2014
Four no more.
Jan 25, 2014
Jan 25, 2014
Walter Cronkite rolled over in his grave
Jan 25, 2014
Jan 24, 2014
Dolly Gray Children’s Literature Award
Jan 24, 2014
Jan 23, 2014
Change the world by changing the paradigm of meetings. PLEASE.
Jan 23, 2014
Jan 22, 2014
The Greatest Generation is mine
Jan 22, 2014
Jan 22, 2014
First date with Elysha: I also had no idea if we were on a date or just “hanging out.”
Jan 22, 2014
Jan 21, 2014
Productivity tip #1: Don’t fall behind.
Jan 21, 2014
Jan 20, 2014
My very first library book found!
Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014
My daughter attributes her difficulties with sharing to the assassination of MLK
Jan 20, 2014
Jan 19, 2014
The perpetual search for a good parking spot is probably insane
Jan 19, 2014
Jan 18, 2014
Boy and girl in dryer
Jan 18, 2014
Jan 18, 2014
Is Jimmy Fallon the coolest man on Earth?
Jan 18, 2014
Jan 17, 2014
The Moth: The Turtle and Me
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 17, 2014
Helmet head
Jan 17, 2014
Jan 16, 2014
My daughter is tougher than a thousand Moth judges.
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 16, 2014
I’m apparently competing against myself now.
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 16, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Rachel Leventhal-Weiner
Jan 16, 2014
Jan 15, 2014
For sale: Stolen Childhood Dreams
Jan 15, 2014
Jan 15, 2014
May he always be this happy
Jan 15, 2014
Jan 15, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: John Leahy
Jan 15, 2014
Jan 14, 2014
The Moth: The Tyranny of the 10-Speed Bike
Jan 14, 2014
Jan 14, 2014
Is this generation of grandparents different than previous generations, or is this bald, bespectacled man just unusual?
Jan 14, 2014
Jan 14, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Andrew Mayo
Jan 14, 2014
Jan 13, 2014
Advancements in medical technology are amazing. I dread every one of them.
Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014
iPad in an oven
Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Chris Hall
Jan 13, 2014
Jan 12, 2014
Water fountain failure
Jan 12, 2014
Jan 12, 2014
The kid has a data driven writing process
Jan 12, 2014
Jan 12, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Jennifer Stanish
Jan 12, 2014
Jan 11, 2014
His first selfie
Jan 11, 2014
Jan 11, 2014
My TED Talk: Speak Less. Expect More.
Jan 11, 2014
Jan 11, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Nathaniel Bates
Jan 11, 2014
Jan 11, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Christina O’Sullivan
Jan 11, 2014
Jan 10, 2014
My future worker bees
Jan 10, 2014
Jan 10, 2014
Speak Up storyteller: Cara Paiuk
Jan 10, 2014
Jan 9, 2014
My super powers
Jan 9, 2014
Jan 9, 2014
The Moth: Plane Delayed
Jan 9, 2014
Jan 8, 2014
When it comes to social media, leave teachers out of it. They love your child too much.
Jan 8, 2014
Jan 7, 2014
IMDB, baby.
Jan 7, 2014
Jan 7, 2014
New Speak Up dates announced
Jan 7, 2014
Jan 6, 2014
Do I know Dan Kennedy?
Jan 6, 2014
Jan 6, 2014
I am not a Johnny Manziel fan but…
Jan 6, 2014
Jan 5, 2014
Male lions aren’t lazy after all. They are actually more efficient than female lions.
Jan 5, 2014
Jan 5, 2014
Watch The Rolling Stones write “Sympathy for the Devil”
Jan 5, 2014
Jan 4, 2014
Lessons from another evening at The Moth: Storytellers’ reactions to a loss can differ greatly. Occasionally they suck.
Jan 4, 2014
Jan 3, 2014
The Michael Jackson video game was a thing.
Jan 3, 2014
Jan 3, 2014
Idaho acknowledges that the death penalty kills innocent people.
Jan 3, 2014
Jan 2, 2014
New Year’s resolutions can change your life forever. Don’t let pundits tell you otherwise.
Jan 2, 2014
Jan 2, 2014
Anatomy of a possibly pathetic New Year’s Eve
Jan 2, 2014
Jan 1, 2014
New Year’s resolutions: 2014
Jan 1, 2014
Jan 1, 2014
Resolution update: 2013 in review
Jan 1, 2014
December 2013
Dec 31, 2013
Say my name
Dec 31, 2013
Dec 30, 2013
Choosing goals for 2014
Dec 30, 2013
Dec 30, 2013
This boy is all boy
Dec 30, 2013
Dec 30, 2013
Compelling? Truthy? Horribly narrow minded and sexist? I’m not sure.
Dec 30, 2013
Dec 29, 2013
Twas the Night Before Christmas
Dec 29, 2013
Dec 28, 2013
The shifting opinions about Santa
Dec 28, 2013
Dec 27, 2013
Portuguese!
Dec 27, 2013
Dec 26, 2013
Want to maintain longer lasting friendships? Here is my simple piece of advice.
Dec 26, 2013
Dec 26, 2013
Killing a mean teacher with the help of Santa and a pony
Dec 26, 2013
Dec 25, 2013
My 2013 Christmas haul
Dec 25, 2013
Dec 25, 2013
A writer’s worst enemy
Dec 25, 2013
Dec 24, 2013
The only thing I want for Christmas is a tiny scrap of paper
Dec 24, 2013
Dec 24, 2013
I have a lot of jobs. I have a lot of jobs that I still want. And I have a lot of occupations that I wish to pursue. Here is my 2014 list.
Dec 24, 2013
Dec 23, 2013
My 3 completely biased, overly judgmental and fully valid rules of selfies
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 22, 2013
Unfair assumption #18: Not every girl-kissing-girl moment is equal
Dec 22, 2013
Dec 22, 2013
Contender for best golf shot of the year
Dec 22, 2013
Dec 21, 2013
Bigots are better than naked priests
Dec 21, 2013
Dec 21, 2013
Future scientist? Or future member of Metallica?
Dec 21, 2013
Dec 20, 2013
I would love to play the role of Gandalf the Grey and stop trains. Just not at this moment.
Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013
My greatest treasures
Dec 20, 2013
Dec 19, 2013
The needless shortening of words is cray tradge. It must stop
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 19, 2013
Apple’s “Misunderstood” is brilliant and completely unrealistic
Dec 19, 2013
Dec 18, 2013
The Moth: The Boy’s Mother Was Dead
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 18, 2013
103 degrees
Dec 18, 2013
Dec 17, 2013
Best goals ever
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013
Cell phone crashing: Beyond even me
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 16, 2013
2013 Matthew Dicks Holiday Gift Guide
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 16, 2013
7 serious problems with the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer television special
Dec 16, 2013
Dec 15, 2013
Saying yes to Santa Claus and everything else
Dec 15, 2013
Dec 15, 2013
Babes with books
Dec 15, 2013
Dec 14, 2013
Airlines around the world are kicking themselves for not thinking of this first.
Dec 14, 2013
Dec 14, 2013
Megyn Kelly of “the very powerful” Fox News is an expert on Santa Claus according to Megyn Kelly. She’s also despicable, at least based upon her non-apology.
Dec 14, 2013
Dec 13, 2013
A vision of the future?
Dec 13, 2013
Dec 13, 2013
Stop the madness. Allow cell phone jamming technology inside movie theaters.
Dec 13, 2013
Dec 13, 2013
About to purchase a book from Amazon? Don’t. Do this instead.
Dec 13, 2013
Dec 12, 2013
Podcast launch is imminent. Ask your awkward, possibly inappropriate, socially unaware and cringe worthy questions now!
Dec 12, 2013
Dec 12, 2013
Dinner and dancing in the dining room
Dec 12, 2013
Dec 11, 2013
Possibly illogical and misplaced anger about non-disabled actors
Dec 11, 2013
Dec 10, 2013
This level of maturity is unacceptable.
Dec 10, 2013
Dec 10, 2013
We should constantly be looking to reinvent the wheel
Dec 10, 2013
Dec 9, 2013
Microsoft can even ruin the bra.
Dec 9, 2013
Dec 9, 2013
Bill named the Bills.
Dec 9, 2013
Dec 8, 2013
My wife is right. A pantone chip would’ve been a better mascot for the Cleveland Browns.
Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013
There’s no such thing as bunny vomit
Dec 8, 2013
Dec 7, 2013
I miss the brontosaurus.
Dec 7, 2013
Dec 6, 2013
The gift of a sibling (and the stupidity of a father)
Dec 6, 2013
Dec 5, 2013
My words travel. I don’t.
Dec 5, 2013
Dec 4, 2013
Every death in A Song of Ice and Fire, displayed in rainbow-like horror
Dec 4, 2013
Dec 4, 2013
That water was inside another person
Dec 4, 2013
Dec 3, 2013
Teachers should use their first names. Honorifics confer artificial and meaningless respect. Even worse, they are sexist and demeaning to women.
Dec 3, 2013
Dec 3, 2013
Stop complimenting students.
Dec 3, 2013
Dec 3, 2013
My YouTube channel
Dec 3, 2013
Dec 2, 2013
Flying car or self-driving car?
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013
Speak Up stories wanted
Dec 2, 2013
Dec 1, 2013
I hate Paul Mitchell, and I think you should, too. Please join me in my burning hatred for this company. It is deserved and necessary.
Dec 1, 2013
Dec 1, 2013
Resolution update: November 2013
Dec 1, 2013
November 2013
Nov 30, 2013
I’m not the only critic of the “Shoes off” policy. There are many other people out there just as judgmental and jerky as me.
Nov 30, 2013
Nov 30, 2013
Extend your story beyond its original screen
Nov 30, 2013
Nov 29, 2013
The preferred Thanksgiving Day meal time
Nov 29, 2013
Nov 29, 2013
Let’s remember someone worth remembering
Nov 29, 2013
Nov 28, 2013
Bacon: The perfect Hanukkah treat
Nov 28, 2013
Nov 28, 2013
17 reasons why I am thankful on Thanksgiving
Nov 28, 2013
Nov 28, 2013
This piece in Slate by Allison Benedikt is ridiculous link bait. It’s also offensive to my children.
Nov 28, 2013
Nov 27, 2013
Failing as a father
Nov 27, 2013
Nov 26, 2013
The Pope and an old lady in parking lot
Nov 26, 2013
Nov 25, 2013
Best tweet ever
Nov 25, 2013
Nov 24, 2013
I split my pants EIGHT YEARS AGO. Strangers are still talking about it.
Nov 24, 2013
Nov 24, 2013
Look! An airplane! Amazing! Also the Toyota Camry you just plowed into.
Nov 24, 2013
Nov 23, 2013
Juicing is dumb. But I didn’t say it.
Nov 23, 2013
Nov 22, 2013
Lessons learned from 4 years of parenting
Nov 22, 2013
Nov 21, 2013
My son’s first steps (and a gentle shove)
Nov 21, 2013
Nov 21, 2013
Verbal sparring 101: Acts of extreme self-flagellation are very useful
Nov 21, 2013
Nov 20, 2013
How many male authors, after speaking brilliantly about writing and literature, have been asked publicly about their clothes?” I have an answer, but I suspect that some of you will want to chop my head off for it.
Nov 20, 2013
Nov 19, 2013
At least we don’t throw knives at our children
Nov 19, 2013
Nov 18, 2013
My TED Talk (if you listen closely)
Nov 18, 2013
Nov 18, 2013
I did not like Doris Lessing’s response to winning the Nobel Prize
Nov 18, 2013
Nov 17, 2013
The greatness of Guess the Animal and the stupidity of Freeze Tag.
Nov 17, 2013
Nov 17, 2013
It’s okay to make fun of fat people, but only if they are really, really fat.
Nov 17, 2013
Nov 17, 2013
It’s okay to make fun of fat people, but only if they are really, really fat.
Nov 17, 2013
Nov 16, 2013
Her first blank page
Nov 16, 2013
Nov 15, 2013
6 things you should never talk about, plus 2 of my own
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 15, 2013
“Get rid of yourself” never sounded so sweet
Nov 15, 2013
Nov 14, 2013
Verbal sparring 101: The nuclear option is effective but will leave you radioactive
Nov 14, 2013
Nov 14, 2013
What kind of jerk complains about a little music at dinnertime?
Nov 14, 2013
Nov 13, 2013
Don’t mess with Charlie
Nov 13, 2013
Nov 13, 2013
There are simply too many excellent religions to choose from today.
Nov 13, 2013
Nov 12, 2013
Hide-and-Seek’s return to glory.
Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013
My new favorite writer and her amazing piece: Ashton Kutcher Fan Fiction - The Middle School Dance
Nov 12, 2013
Nov 11, 2013
The nightmare of the pre-Internet
Nov 11, 2013
Nov 11, 2013
Could someone please invent quiet juicing?
Nov 11, 2013
Nov 10, 2013
The boy is one.
Nov 10, 2013
Nov 10, 2013
Crying at work
Nov 10, 2013
Nov 9, 2013
I hated it, then I loved it.
Nov 9, 2013
Nov 9, 2013
This won’t be cute forever
Nov 9, 2013
Nov 8, 2013
When was the last time you were bored?
Nov 8, 2013
Nov 8, 2013
Why do people cheat? Why do children misbehave? The reason is oftentimes simple.
Nov 8, 2013
Nov 8, 2013
Speak Up storytelling: Anita Flores
Nov 8, 2013
Nov 7, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Donna Gosk
Nov 7, 2013
Nov 7, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Sam Dingman
Nov 7, 2013
Nov 7, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Diana Spechler
Nov 7, 2013
Nov 7, 2013
Nothing better than a compliment and schadenfreude sandwich
Nov 7, 2013
Nov 7, 2013
The joy of Halloween has returned, even without the eggs.
Nov 7, 2013
Nov 6, 2013
The peril of Pop Tarts
Nov 6, 2013
Nov 6, 2013
Joaquin Phoenix is her uncle!
Nov 6, 2013
Nov 6, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Micaela Blei
Nov 6, 2013
Nov 6, 2013
Speak Up storytellers: James Bengiovanni
Nov 6, 2013
Nov 6, 2013
Speak Up storytellers: Plato Karafelis
Nov 6, 2013
Nov 5, 2013
My children ruined my Patriots game day perfection.
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013
You’re making your insomnia worse. Get out of bed and do something great.
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 4, 2013
The only proper reaction to someone who has failed to give you a wedding gift
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 3, 2013
Children: Ready-made victims for your cruelest pranks
Nov 3, 2013
Nov 3, 2013
Emergency medical care apparently sucked in 1988
Nov 3, 2013
Nov 2, 2013
Unacceptable platitude #6: “I never said I was perfect.”
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013
The perfect encapsulation of my teaching philosophy
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 1, 2013
Pumpkins
Nov 1, 2013
Nov 1, 2013
Most quoted man
Nov 1, 2013
Nov 1, 2013
Escaping poverty, homelessness and hopelessness was incredibly hard for me. Now 80% of Americans must do the same.
Nov 1, 2013
October 2013
Oct 31, 2013
Happy Halloween!
Oct 31, 2013
Oct 31, 2013
I admire this violent, malicious man.
Oct 31, 2013
Oct 31, 2013
Ending the engagement is sometimes the only correct choice
Oct 31, 2013
Oct 30, 2013
Beyond the Margins today!
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013
I don’t like Wes Anderson’s films
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 29, 2013
Lionel Shriver needed to take better inventory before she lamented the tragedy of her career in The New Republic.
Oct 29, 2013
Oct 29, 2013
Frozen carrots on a stick
Oct 29, 2013
Oct 28, 2013
Harry Dicks is almost worse.
Oct 28, 2013
Oct 28, 2013
Baby pushing baby
Oct 28, 2013
Oct 27, 2013
What teachers know about bedtimes
Oct 27, 2013
Oct 27, 2013
Witchcraft, I tell you!
Oct 27, 2013
Oct 26, 2013
Which okay is okay?
Oct 26, 2013
Oct 25, 2013
Hashtag excuse
Oct 25, 2013
Oct 25, 2013
Hot Buzz About Books
Oct 25, 2013
Oct 24, 2013
Licking the spoon
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013
Unacceptable platitude #5: “It’s not the worst thing.”
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013
Speak Up storytelling workshops
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 23, 2013
Daddy’s shoes
Oct 23, 2013
Oct 23, 2013
Wearing underwear to bed is hard work.
Oct 23, 2013
Oct 22, 2013
Worst things ever
Oct 22, 2013
Oct 22, 2013
My daughter’s first manuscript
Oct 22, 2013
Oct 21, 2013
How I determine intelligence: 2013
Oct 21, 2013
Oct 21, 2013
My new favorite family
Oct 21, 2013
Oct 20, 2013
A tale of two story slams
Oct 20, 2013
Oct 19, 2013
If you’re critical of the National Football League, I understand completely. If you’re smug while doing so, you deserve to be kicked through a goal post.
Oct 19, 2013
Oct 18, 2013
Sometimes even golf can be stupid
Oct 18, 2013
Oct 18, 2013
All the financial advice you will ever need
Oct 18, 2013
Oct 17, 2013
Have you ever seen two more perfect little boy photographs in your life?
Oct 17, 2013
Oct 16, 2013
Clearly drunk
Oct 16, 2013
Oct 15, 2013
Sometimes there’s a fine line between creepy and cute.
Oct 15, 2013
Oct 15, 2013
Products I can’t live without: 2013 revised
Oct 15, 2013
Oct 14, 2013
Greatest touchdown call ever
Oct 14, 2013
Oct 14, 2013
I experienced genuine euphoria yesterday. Unabashed joy. Pure, unbridled happiness. When was the last time you felt that way?
Oct 14, 2013
Oct 14, 2013
Standing still is progress
Oct 14, 2013
Oct 13, 2013
A second-rate solution to the tyranny of the thank you note
Oct 13, 2013
Oct 13, 2013
Rules on how to be a man, which should not include anything related to physical appearance or handcrafted firearms.
Oct 13, 2013
Oct 12, 2013
A potato chip bag and a palace: Two sides of the same coin.
Oct 12, 2013
Oct 12, 2013
Soap bubble joy
Oct 12, 2013
Oct 11, 2013
The Today Show has cornered the market on young, white, blond, female kidnapping victims. You should stop watching.
Oct 11, 2013
Oct 10, 2013
Is your marriage destined for success? Rate you and your spouse using these indicators.
Oct 10, 2013
Oct 10, 2013
Overnight adventures, except they weren’t adventures at all and they sucked.
Oct 10, 2013
Oct 9, 2013
The right time and place for a mohawk
Oct 9, 2013
Oct 9, 2013
Unfair assumption #17: If you lie, conceal or refuse to divulge your age, I will automatically assume the worst.
Oct 9, 2013
Oct 8, 2013
Which book is more frightening?
Oct 8, 2013
Oct 8, 2013
Serious sibling adoration
Oct 8, 2013
Oct 7, 2013
Verbal sparring 101: Answer the rhetorical question
Oct 7, 2013
Oct 7, 2013
My namesake discovered 42 years later
Oct 7, 2013
Oct 6, 2013
How to stop a friend from driving home drunk
Oct 6, 2013
Oct 6, 2013
“And now my kids don’t die.”
Oct 6, 2013
Oct 5, 2013
Out of the frying pan…
Oct 5, 2013
Oct 5, 2013
History (and blogger) repeats itself
Oct 5, 2013
Oct 5, 2013
The boy is trouble.
Oct 5, 2013
Oct 4, 2013
Resolution update: September 2013
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013
Unfair assumption # 16: There is something seriously wrong with the intellect and/or self esteem of anyone who chooses to begin smoking today.
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 4, 2013
A simple way of identifying an idiot
Oct 4, 2013
Oct 3, 2013
The career of an author is not all angst and loneliness. Some of the time.
Oct 3, 2013
Oct 3, 2013
Little biker dude
Oct 3, 2013
Oct 2, 2013
I want credit for not being a jerk. Is that too much to ask?
Oct 2, 2013
Oct 2, 2013
My daughter’s inaccurate self portrait
Oct 2, 2013
Oct 1, 2013
Marital advice courtesy of a Moth StorySLAM victory
Oct 1, 2013
September 2013
Sep 30, 2013
A recap of this weekend’s Speak Up event, plus an update on the future of Speak Up
Sep 30, 2013
Sep 30, 2013
She’s in preschool and already criticizing God
Sep 30, 2013
Sep 29, 2013
The kind of love that I was probably too much of a jerk to experience firsthand
Sep 29, 2013
Sep 28, 2013
The Patriots are proof-positive that perspective is hard, if not impossible
Sep 28, 2013
Sep 28, 2013
Assuming a supervisory role
Sep 28, 2013
Sep 27, 2013
A good old fashioned book mobile!
Sep 27, 2013
Sep 27, 2013
Sunday Assembly, an atheist's version of church, seems a little too good to be true.
Sep 27, 2013
Sep 27, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Okey Ndibe
Sep 27, 2013
Sep 26, 2013
My 3 best pieces of parenting advice
Sep 26, 2013
Sep 26, 2013
God must be so angry about this.
Sep 26, 2013
Sep 26, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Barbara Klau
Sep 26, 2013
Sep 26, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Trish Milnamow
Sep 26, 2013
Sep 25, 2013
Extremely susceptible to advertising
Sep 25, 2013
Sep 25, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: LB Muñoz
Sep 25, 2013
Sep 24, 2013
Unfair assumption #15: Married couples who keep their finances separate are more likely to have seriously flawed, less fulfilling relationships.
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Charly Weiss
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Bill Wynne
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 23, 2013
Last day of summer 2013
Sep 23, 2013
Sep 23, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Julie Threlkeld
Sep 23, 2013
Sep 23, 2013
Siri on the NFL and MLB
Sep 23, 2013
Sep 22, 2013
Special K spokesman (or spokeslittlegirl)?
Sep 22, 2013
Sep 22, 2013
If Bobby Riggs intentionally lost to Billie Jean King in The Battle of the Sexes, it matters. The truth always matters.
Sep 22, 2013
Sep 21, 2013
A genius author and I have something in common. I’m not quite the hack that I thought I was.
Sep 21, 2013
Sep 21, 2013
This pint-sized hockey fan makes your average fantasy football player look like a joke.
Sep 21, 2013
Sep 20, 2013
Apparently a lack of intelligence and decency will not prevent you from getting into college
Sep 20, 2013
Sep 19, 2013
My brothers are gone, and my heart hurts.
Sep 19, 2013
Sep 19, 2013
One of the best political ads ever made
Sep 19, 2013
Sep 17, 2013
My three favorite people
Sep 17, 2013
Sep 17, 2013
There is nothing wrong with wearing a hat at the table, regardless of what your grandmother taught you. Here’s why.
Sep 17, 2013
Sep 17, 2013
He won’t always be so easily entertained
Sep 17, 2013
Sep 16, 2013
The restaurant made me remove my hat, which angered me beyond measure. But it also reminded me of how perfect my wife is. Also, I have already plotted my revenge.
Sep 16, 2013
Sep 16, 2013
Just imagine how much better books will be when he can actually read them.
Sep 16, 2013
Sep 15, 2013
Real friends are mean as hell.
Sep 15, 2013
Sep 15, 2013
Frightening fathers everywhere
Sep 15, 2013
Sep 14, 2013
I applied AGAIN to BeautifulPeople.com, a social network for only the most beautiful of people. Here are the results of the voting.
Sep 14, 2013
Sep 14, 2013
I saved my life for the sake of my children.
Sep 14, 2013
Sep 13, 2013
This photograph is a freakin’ horror show
Sep 13, 2013
Sep 12, 2013
Moth Radio Hour appearance!
Sep 12, 2013
Sep 12, 2013
Monty Python and the Holy Grail: Twenty-first century style
Sep 12, 2013
Sep 11, 2013
“A two mommy family”
Sep 11, 2013
Sep 11, 2013
Thrilled (and possibly giddy as a schoolgirl) for a friend
Sep 11, 2013
Sep 10, 2013
Cruelty and humor wrapped up in one of the best Internet videos of all time
Sep 10, 2013
Sep 10, 2013
Two pieces of only slightly snarky advice for wedding photographers (and the couples hiring them)
Sep 10, 2013
Sep 9, 2013
September storytelling
Sep 9, 2013
Sep 9, 2013
Little boy and big boy
Sep 9, 2013
Sep 8, 2013
Summer days gone again
Sep 8, 2013
Sep 7, 2013
For almost a day, I almost thought of myself as an honest-to-goodness author. Then they took all the books away.
Sep 7, 2013
Sep 7, 2013
Best hurricane naming system ever
Sep 7, 2013
Sep 6, 2013
No one is talking about the real problem with John McCain playing poker during his briefing on the possible use of force in Syria.
Sep 6, 2013
Sep 6, 2013
Negotiating the truth
Sep 6, 2013
Sep 5, 2013
Unfair assumption #14: Any parent who leaves more than $5 under their child’s pillow in exchange for a tooth has lost their mind.
Sep 5, 2013
Sep 5, 2013
I will judge you. You should judge me.
Sep 5, 2013
Sep 4, 2013
Step 4: Do anything but “ENJOY!”
Sep 4, 2013
Sep 4, 2013
Early morning despair
Sep 4, 2013
Sep 3, 2013
Do all book critics start out this way?
Sep 3, 2013
Sep 3, 2013
Proverb 1.4
Sep 3, 2013
Sep 2, 2013
Proverb 1.3
Sep 2, 2013
Sep 2, 2013
The boy and the girl at the General Store
Sep 2, 2013
Sep 1, 2013
Sentimentality has its benefits.
Sep 1, 2013
Sep 1, 2013
Resolution update: August 2013
Sep 1, 2013
August 2013
Aug 31, 2013
Best prank ever
Aug 31, 2013
Aug 31, 2013
Every Daddy’s dream
Aug 31, 2013
Aug 30, 2013
Unbridled enthusiasm
Aug 30, 2013
Aug 30, 2013
So close to joy!
Aug 30, 2013
Aug 29, 2013
Left handers rejoice! Ink smears be gone!
Aug 29, 2013
Aug 29, 2013
I still want my $25,000 back, damn it.
Aug 29, 2013
Aug 28, 2013
If you're still upset about a forgotten wedding gift, the blame my lie in your genetic code.
Aug 28, 2013
Aug 28, 2013
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2013
Aug 28, 2013
Aug 27, 2013
Book lover today. Reader tomorrow.
Aug 27, 2013
Aug 26, 2013
Not quite me.
Aug 26, 2013
Aug 26, 2013
Little Elton John
Aug 26, 2013
Aug 25, 2013
Some golf shots are too good to be true
Aug 25, 2013
Aug 25, 2013
Returning home tomorrow.
Aug 25, 2013
Aug 24, 2013
My parental genius is finally bearing fruit. I’m not sure what exactly I did, but still, fruit!
Aug 24, 2013
Aug 24, 2013
Hot legs or hot dogs? Either is fine.
Aug 24, 2013
Aug 23, 2013
A different ending for every reader
Aug 23, 2013
Aug 23, 2013
Why I am a reluctant atheist
Aug 23, 2013
Aug 22, 2013
My storytelling secret: I’m a small, frightened man onstage. Always.
Aug 22, 2013
Aug 22, 2013
Woman are cold
Aug 22, 2013
Aug 22, 2013
If you can fly, fly.
Aug 22, 2013
Aug 21, 2013
Creating a list of things that you should never do after 50 is asinine. So are most of the items on this list.
Aug 21, 2013
Aug 20, 2013
Wigs for bald, baby girls are a thing now. Stupid parents have been around forever.
Aug 20, 2013
Aug 20, 2013
Not surprising, my wife was right again.
Aug 20, 2013
Aug 19, 2013
Baseball pitchers are cowards. All of them.
Aug 19, 2013
Aug 19, 2013
Hate the parents
Aug 19, 2013
Aug 19, 2013
Our kids don’t see us watch television. It wasn’t planned, but I’m still taking credit for it.
Aug 19, 2013
Aug 18, 2013
This Stephen Colbert segment is perfect. Stop everything and watch it now.
Aug 18, 2013
Aug 18, 2013
Can’t find the time to write?
Aug 18, 2013
Aug 17, 2013
Just so cute
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 17, 2013
Cardboard cutout cruelty
Aug 17, 2013
Aug 16, 2013
No way, Jose.
Aug 16, 2013
Aug 16, 2013
Bad ass old man of all time
Aug 16, 2013
Aug 15, 2013
Best prisoner’s dilemma ever
Aug 15, 2013
Aug 14, 2013
Credit this blog for last night’s Moth StorySLAM victory
Aug 14, 2013
Aug 14, 2013
You know that you’ve hit the big time when…
Aug 14, 2013
Aug 13, 2013
Neither true nor universally acknowledged
Aug 13, 2013
Aug 13, 2013
Don’t text and drive.
Aug 13, 2013
Aug 12, 2013
Susan Cain is right about most things, but she is wrong about death
Aug 12, 2013
Aug 11, 2013
Which would you prefer: The super supportive or hyper-critical spouse?
Aug 11, 2013
Aug 10, 2013
Elaborate prom proposals are happening. Promposals, they call them. They are stupid.
Aug 10, 2013
Aug 9, 2013
I use the word “bigot” instead of “homophobic.” You should, too. Here’s why.
Aug 9, 2013
Aug 9, 2013
The key to my heart is through a book.
Aug 9, 2013
Aug 8, 2013
Breakfast and a book
Aug 8, 2013
Aug 8, 2013
Best question of the week
Aug 8, 2013
Aug 7, 2013
Network television turns a baseball fan into the butt of a joke. Is this okay?
Aug 7, 2013
Aug 7, 2013
Unfair assumption #13: A person who says that so-and-so “has agency” was enrolled in far too many liberal arts classes.
Aug 7, 2013
Aug 6, 2013
I applied for BeautifulPeople.com, a social network for only the most beautiful of people. Here are the results of the voting.
Aug 6, 2013
Aug 6, 2013
Haunted, but the ghost is apparently a reader, so it’s okay.
Aug 6, 2013
Aug 5, 2013
My little home body
Aug 5, 2013
Aug 4, 2013
A career spent in quiet desperation
Aug 4, 2013
Aug 4, 2013
A place where time (and boys) stand still
Aug 4, 2013
Aug 3, 2013
The most terrifying 27 seconds of video that you may ever see
Aug 3, 2013
Aug 2, 2013
The Moth: The Robbery
Aug 2, 2013
Aug 2, 2013
Good Cop, Bad Cop is real. And it works.
Aug 2, 2013
Aug 1, 2013
Comebacks for sale. Cheap. Highly effective. Brutal if desired.
Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013
Resolution update: July 2013
Aug 1, 2013
July 2013
Jul 31, 2013
Texting while doing what?
Jul 31, 2013
Jul 31, 2013
Forgotten Daddy
Jul 31, 2013
Jul 30, 2013
Mormons find doubt online
Jul 30, 2013
Jul 29, 2013
Another bad day for the bigots
Jul 29, 2013
Jul 29, 2013
Dress codes almost always suck.
Jul 29, 2013
Jul 28, 2013
Pope Francis’s unprecedented accessibility is admirable, but I wouldn’t call it brave.
Jul 28, 2013
Jul 28, 2013
Men are having butt enhancement surgery in order to increase the size of their backsides. I am hesitant to refer to them as men.
Jul 28, 2013
Jul 27, 2013
The 1970s will never be fully understood.
Jul 27, 2013
Jul 27, 2013
Only cowards take covert photographs of people in order to mock them on social media
Jul 27, 2013
Jul 26, 2013
The post partum tummy is not a taboo in Actual Town, USA.
Jul 26, 2013
Jul 26, 2013
Something appropriate to bite
Jul 26, 2013
Jul 25, 2013
Why am I willing to look less presentable than my female counterparts?
Jul 25, 2013
Jul 25, 2013
Are the machine guns really necessary?
Jul 25, 2013
Jul 24, 2013
Kissing a hippo
Jul 24, 2013
Jul 24, 2013
Quarter-Life Crisis?
Jul 24, 2013
Jul 23, 2013
Admirable ignorance
Jul 23, 2013
Jul 23, 2013
Want to tell a story at the next Speak Up?
Jul 23, 2013
Jul 23, 2013
Loves him some Pat the Bunny
Jul 23, 2013
Jul 23, 2013
Watch this instead. Please. You’ll be so happy that you did.
Jul 23, 2013
Jul 22, 2013
Which of these 6 things would you change about your spouse?
Jul 22, 2013
Jul 22, 2013
Future ethicist? Attorney? Negotiator? Either way, it’s trouble for me.
Jul 22, 2013
Jul 21, 2013
I saw evil at the newsstand.
Jul 21, 2013
Jul 21, 2013
Britain legalizes gay marriage thanks to the approval of their unelected, genetically appointed head of state.
Jul 21, 2013
Jul 20, 2013
Why I love storytelling, and why I especially love The Moth
Jul 20, 2013
Jul 19, 2013
Man wrestles shark. I’m not impressed.
Jul 19, 2013
Jul 19, 2013
Ironic at last.
Jul 19, 2013
Jul 18, 2013
To hell with the hedgehog.
Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013
Charlie’s words
Jul 18, 2013
Jul 17, 2013
Don’t like that woman’s skirt? Think that man looks ridiculous in shorts? Say something.
Jul 17, 2013
Jul 17, 2013
Inside Jaws: A Filmuentary
Jul 17, 2013
Jul 17, 2013
Bookish days of yore
Jul 17, 2013
Jul 16, 2013
We finished our anniversary in the negative
Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013
What happened to Fruity Pebbles?
Jul 16, 2013
Jul 15, 2013
99 reasons that I love Elysha Dicks
Jul 15, 2013
Jul 14, 2013
Now I have to worry about falling cows. Great.
Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013
Self-loathing and the cronut
Jul 14, 2013
Jul 13, 2013
The thread of melancholy is unavoidable for this parent
Jul 13, 2013
Jul 13, 2013
Girl Learns to Dance in a Year
Jul 13, 2013
Jul 12, 2013
First Twinkies return to the shelves. Now this.
Jul 12, 2013
Jul 12, 2013
Upcoming speaking engagements
Jul 12, 2013
Jul 11, 2013
My wife played an enormous role in my recent Moth StorySLAM victory. Here’s how.
Jul 11, 2013
Jul 10, 2013
You might want to throw away your bathrobe. Here's why.
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013
More!
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 9, 2013
Another argument against the death penalty
Jul 9, 2013
Jul 9, 2013
Another Speak Up date added to the calendar
Jul 9, 2013
Jul 9, 2013
Stay calm.
Jul 9, 2013
Jul 8, 2013
Bare-breasted women are perfectly fine but Dicks was offensive?
Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013
My daughter loves butterflies and tarantulas.
Jul 8, 2013
Jul 7, 2013
When I started working as a wedding DJ in 1997, the world was damn near prehistoric.
Jul 7, 2013
Jul 6, 2013
The toughest question of the year
Jul 6, 2013
Jul 6, 2013
A lesson in bubbles
Jul 6, 2013
Jul 5, 2013
A pill that reduces the amount of sleep that a person needs? Blasphemy!
Jul 5, 2013
Jul 4, 2013
Anatomy of agreement
Jul 4, 2013
Jul 3, 2013
Where do you get your ideas?
Jul 3, 2013
Jul 3, 2013
An analysis of humor that will make you a funnier person
Jul 3, 2013
Jul 2, 2013
In 2014, I will wear a flesh-colored speedo in front of an audience of readers and talk about my books. Here’s why.
Jul 2, 2013
Jul 2, 2013
No kisses for Mommy
Jul 2, 2013
Jul 1, 2013
Unfair assumption #12: People who purchase and use amateur fireworks lack intelligence and do not value their fingers appropriately.
Jul 1, 2013
Jul 1, 2013
Resolution update: June 2013
Jul 1, 2013
June 2013
Jun 30, 2013
13 things that make me happy
Jun 30, 2013
Jun 29, 2013
First marks
Jun 29, 2013
Jun 28, 2013
Sperm, sticks and downright douchebaggery
Jun 28, 2013
Jun 28, 2013
Father-son discussion
Jun 28, 2013
Jun 27, 2013
“In The Night Kitchen” relies on the penis for its success and notoriety.
Jun 27, 2013
Jun 26, 2013
In the wake of the Supreme Court’s DOMA ruling, I can’t help but accentuate the negative
Jun 26, 2013
Jun 26, 2013
Second place sucks. I am a jerk.
Jun 26, 2013
Jun 25, 2013
If only he could remain so agreeable
Jun 25, 2013
Jun 24, 2013
The Moth: Guys in Shower
Jun 24, 2013
Jun 24, 2013
Taking a stand against not taking a stand to avoid offending someone
Jun 24, 2013
Jun 23, 2013
A hard roll is actually soft. You probably knew that already, but I didn’t.
Jun 23, 2013
Jun 21, 2013
Fold a shirt in under 2 seconds
Jun 21, 2013
Jun 20, 2013
Beauty pageants must end now.
Jun 20, 2013
Jun 18, 2013
Literary perfection
Jun 18, 2013
Jun 18, 2013
I'm proud to say I've never done this. Or this. Or this.
Jun 18, 2013
Jun 17, 2013
The Moth: Call Me Dad
Jun 17, 2013
Jun 17, 2013
A mother’s nightgown teaches a woman a universal truth of life.
Jun 17, 2013
Jun 16, 2013
Wedding etiquette torn down by one of the most popular advice columnists in the world. I’m impressed.
Jun 16, 2013
Jun 15, 2013
The Three Little Pigs and Jose?
Jun 15, 2013
Jun 14, 2013
My advice: Listen to The Diary of Anne Frank on a 1995 Sony Walkman
Jun 14, 2013
Jun 14, 2013
I don’t love Star Trek, but this most recent Star Trek TELEVISION SHOW is amazing.
Jun 14, 2013
Jun 13, 2013
Unfair assumption #11: People who tell you that a tomato is actually a fruit are actually some of the most pedantic and annoying people on the planet.
Jun 13, 2013
Jun 13, 2013
The Moth: Two Fathers
Jun 13, 2013
Jun 13, 2013
107 Federal Street update
Jun 13, 2013
Jun 12, 2013
Love me a drive-in movie
Jun 12, 2013
Jun 11, 2013
Placing an engagement ring in food is stupid.
Jun 11, 2013
Jun 11, 2013
Chessboxing is an actual thing. If only it had been a thing in 1988.
Jun 11, 2013
Jun 10, 2013
The Moth: Parental Love in Absentia
Jun 10, 2013
Jun 10, 2013
The opening number of the 2013 Tony Awards was one of the most astounding performances I have ever seen. You must watch.
Jun 10, 2013
Jun 9, 2013
But I love my job!
Jun 9, 2013
Jun 8, 2013
Negotiator in training
Jun 8, 2013
Jun 8, 2013
What is your most outdated device?
Jun 8, 2013
Jun 7, 2013
The joy and panic of parenting in 60 seconds
Jun 7, 2013
Jun 6, 2013
The trouble with Star Wars is that it was historical fiction
Jun 6, 2013
Jun 5, 2013
A perfect couple
Jun 5, 2013
Jun 5, 2013
Should I try to be wrong?
Jun 5, 2013
Jun 4, 2013
“Dinosaurs lived with people” violates the basic human right of not being stupid.
Jun 4, 2013
Jun 4, 2013
Ducklings versus a speeding motorist
Jun 4, 2013
Jun 3, 2013
A perfect example of how my disputatious mind works
Jun 3, 2013
Jun 3, 2013
How To Be A Grownup In 10 Steps (revised)
Jun 3, 2013
Jun 2, 2013
Butterfly Kisses is not cheesy, damn it.
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 2, 2013
The bar for demonstrating support of my work has officially been set.
Jun 2, 2013
Jun 1, 2013
My arch nemesis and my wife are in cahoots.
Jun 1, 2013
May 2013
May 31, 2013
Charlie’s first meal
May 31, 2013
May 31, 2013
Resolution update: May 2013
May 31, 2013
May 30, 2013
My biggest fan and my arch nemesis go on a date. It doesn’t turn out well.
May 30, 2013
May 30, 2013
Charlie’s first birthday
May 30, 2013
May 29, 2013
Summer Writing Academy: Anyone want in?
May 29, 2013
May 28, 2013
Writers are lucky. Not special.
May 28, 2013
May 27, 2013
There is a name brand on my zipper, and that is a problem.
May 27, 2013
May 26, 2013
Elysha the Audacious
May 26, 2013
May 26, 2013
My eleven year old publicist
May 26, 2013
May 25, 2013
Twinkle Twinkle cruelty
May 25, 2013
May 25, 2013
You need not travel far to see aliens
May 25, 2013
May 24, 2013
The secret of the first follower
May 24, 2013
May 24, 2013
The Office finale: Near perfect
May 24, 2013
May 23, 2013
My daughter wants to dance, but the dance recital machine sucks. What are we to do?
May 23, 2013
May 22, 2013
A victory at The Moth Boston
May 22, 2013
May 21, 2013
Even I haven’t made this golf shot yet.
May 21, 2013
May 20, 2013
“Book club date night” is probably not the most romantic way to spend an evening with your wife
May 20, 2013
May 19, 2013
Another Yes Man
May 19, 2013
May 19, 2013
Snoozing
May 19, 2013
May 18, 2013
My daughter has so little faith in me.
May 18, 2013
May 18, 2013
Unfair assumption #10: Americans who follow the machinations of the British royal family are stupid.
May 18, 2013
May 17, 2013
Good old days are now. Tomorrow, too.
May 17, 2013
May 16, 2013
The limited palate of an illogical toddler
May 16, 2013
May 15, 2013
Redefining the Author Appearance: Four Proposed Categories
May 15, 2013
May 15, 2013
There may be things that are fun to squeeze, but this umbrella ain’t one of them.
May 15, 2013
May 14, 2013
The secret to my success
May 14, 2013
May 14, 2013
Small victories on the golf course
May 14, 2013
May 13, 2013
How To Be A Grownup in 10 Steps
May 13, 2013
May 13, 2013
107 Federal Street back in business
May 13, 2013
May 13, 2013
Speak Up date announced!
May 13, 2013
May 12, 2013
I’m not spiteful. I’m “aggressively moralistic.”
May 12, 2013
May 12, 2013
The perfect Mother’s Day gift or the worst Mother’s Day gift of all time? I’m not sure.
May 12, 2013
May 11, 2013
Always re-configuring her environment
May 11, 2013
May 11, 2013
Jack’s magic beans have a better chance of working than this.
May 11, 2013
May 10, 2013
The two best pieces of writing advice that Roger Ebert ever received
May 10, 2013
May 10, 2013
Why you shouldn’t tell your kid to fight back
May 10, 2013
May 9, 2013
More like six percent
May 9, 2013
May 9, 2013
Spock versus Spock
May 9, 2013
May 8, 2013
Budo and Graham
May 8, 2013
May 8, 2013
Do racists long for the good old days?
May 8, 2013
May 7, 2013
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend: The paperback release
May 7, 2013
May 6, 2013
Speak Up: A recap of our first show
May 6, 2013
May 6, 2013
Deep thoughts on God, pets, holidays and the Internet: Ian Martin covers it all
May 6, 2013
May 5, 2013
Makes me smile every time
May 5, 2013
May 5, 2013
When was the last time you had a pillow fight?
May 5, 2013
May 4, 2013
Life lesson from a little one
May 4, 2013
May 3, 2013
I have not mastered disdain, and I hate myself for it.
May 3, 2013
May 2, 2013
Resolution update: April 2013
May 2, 2013
May 1, 2013
Bigot? Hypocrite? Ignorant? All three?
May 1, 2013
May 1, 2013
I told me so.
May 1, 2013
April 2013
Apr 30, 2013
Parenting perfection
Apr 30, 2013
Apr 30, 2013
Is there be anything more tragic than a left handed kid stuck with a right handed baseball glove?
Apr 30, 2013
Apr 29, 2013
The $199.99 Wheelbarrow Sundae: Who is with me?
Apr 29, 2013
Apr 29, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Matthew Dicks
Apr 29, 2013
Apr 29, 2013
Spamming scumbag of the week: Phone Beauties
Apr 29, 2013
Apr 28, 2013
New definition of “pizza face”
Apr 28, 2013
Apr 28, 2013
Unfair assumption #9: Women who don makeup before heading to the gym are suffering from traumatic brain injury.
Apr 28, 2013
Apr 27, 2013
I wrote a poem. I need a critique. Please help.
Apr 27, 2013
Apr 27, 2013
Ann Coulter is racing me to the finish line. I hope she gets there first.
Apr 27, 2013
Apr 27, 2013
Television-free news
Apr 27, 2013
Apr 26, 2013
What are the chances that my wife will allow me to install these throughout the house?
Apr 26, 2013
Apr 26, 2013
Girl on the edge
Apr 26, 2013
Apr 25, 2013
“Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!”
Apr 25, 2013
Apr 25, 2013
A toddler bikini? I’m think I’m okay with that. A poorly written defense of the toddler bikini? I take great umbrage.
Apr 25, 2013
Apr 24, 2013
Dead boys sitting beside a pond
Apr 24, 2013
Apr 24, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Plato Karafelis
Apr 24, 2013
Apr 24, 2013
I can’t spell “Slow down.”
Apr 24, 2013
Apr 23, 2013
A book about sex that I should’ve written.
Apr 23, 2013
Apr 23, 2013
I was supposed to be writing…
Apr 23, 2013
Apr 22, 2013
Unscripted Star Wars genius
Apr 22, 2013
Apr 22, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Kim Damokosh
Apr 22, 2013
Apr 22, 2013
Love makes up for a lot.
Apr 22, 2013
Apr 21, 2013
The genius and insight of Dove is unparalleled
Apr 21, 2013
Apr 21, 2013
My middle school visit included a comparison to a Boston mobster, an accusation that I am old and time spent in the ladies restroom
Apr 21, 2013
Apr 20, 2013
Kid words for future characters
Apr 20, 2013
Apr 20, 2013
Dinosaur wrangler
Apr 20, 2013
Apr 19, 2013
The Moth: Science Fair Cheater
Apr 19, 2013
Apr 18, 2013
New best headline ever
Apr 18, 2013
Apr 18, 2013
Children swallowing poisoned beads was not my original plan. I swear.
Apr 18, 2013
Apr 18, 2013
Jumping out of a plane without a parachute is dangerous enough. Adding an additional layer of danger is just stupid.
Apr 18, 2013
Apr 17, 2013
The Kobo eReader: Better than paper? Probably not. But incredible.
Apr 17, 2013
Apr 17, 2013
I understand your pain, Beaver College.
Apr 17, 2013
Apr 17, 2013
It’s not actually “trouble” if all your boss did was yell at you.
Apr 17, 2013
Apr 16, 2013
The Moth: Charitable Contributions
Apr 16, 2013
Apr 16, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Ellen Painter Dollar
Apr 16, 2013
Apr 16, 2013
Spamming scumbag of the week
Apr 16, 2013
Apr 15, 2013
Random thoughts and observations from a weekend spent with authors and readers
Apr 15, 2013
Apr 14, 2013
Booktopia blurs the lines between author and reader.
Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013
Kmart is cool?
Apr 14, 2013
Apr 13, 2013
It begins with a love of the object
Apr 13, 2013
Apr 13, 2013
Just leave the bigots behind
Apr 13, 2013
Apr 12, 2013
My pants
Apr 12, 2013
Apr 11, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Rachel Leventhal-Weiner
Apr 11, 2013
Apr 11, 2013
Her pirate name would be Black Heart
Apr 11, 2013
Apr 10, 2013
A solution to the balancing of home and work
Apr 10, 2013
Apr 10, 2013
Bad news for cats and dogs and goldfish everywhere
Apr 10, 2013
Apr 9, 2013
The omnipresent coffee culture has officially jumped the shark
Apr 9, 2013
Apr 9, 2013
Fraggle Rock is obsessed with death
Apr 9, 2013
Apr 9, 2013
Ends badly
Apr 9, 2013
Apr 8, 2013
Raiders of the Lost Ark most overlooked flaw: Indiana Jones need not apply
Apr 8, 2013
Apr 8, 2013
Pixar’s bathroom. Eddie Van Halen’s M&Ms. Enough. We got it.
Apr 8, 2013
Apr 8, 2013
Baby needs a pillow
Apr 8, 2013
Apr 7, 2013
I am a library maker.
Apr 7, 2013
Apr 7, 2013
Spamming scumbags of the week
Apr 7, 2013
Apr 6, 2013
The greatest brownie spokesperson on the planet today
Apr 6, 2013
Apr 6, 2013
A hovercraft on a golf course: I officially live in the future.
Apr 6, 2013
Apr 5, 2013
People say the craziest things at author talks
Apr 5, 2013
Apr 5, 2013
I don’t stretch. I win.
Apr 5, 2013
Apr 4, 2013
First bagel
Apr 4, 2013
Apr 4, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: Okey Ndibe
Apr 4, 2013
Apr 4, 2013
Resolution update: March 2013
Apr 4, 2013
Apr 3, 2013
Unacceptable platitude #4: "To each his own.”
Apr 3, 2013
Apr 2, 2013
How dare the Pope act so kindly or equitably
Apr 2, 2013
Apr 2, 2013
Our boy!
Apr 2, 2013
Apr 1, 2013
Two peas in a pod
Apr 1, 2013
Apr 1, 2013
Done.
Apr 1, 2013
March 2013
Mar 31, 2013
Spamming scumbag of the week
Mar 31, 2013
Mar 31, 2013
The essence of New England weather
Mar 31, 2013
Mar 30, 2013
Snooze button sucks
Mar 30, 2013
Mar 30, 2013
Worst super power ever
Mar 30, 2013
Mar 29, 2013
A question about female criticism that is likely to get me killed.
Mar 29, 2013
Mar 29, 2013
He’s nine months old!
Mar 29, 2013
Mar 29, 2013
Mystery of Prince Rupert’s Drop
Mar 29, 2013
Mar 28, 2013
Unprecedented sibling love (and the people who suck at life who want to spoil it)
Mar 28, 2013
Mar 28, 2013
An interview with my not-so-fictional character
Mar 28, 2013
Mar 28, 2013
Be different. But be prepared to suffer, despite what parents and teachers may tell you.
Mar 28, 2013
Mar 27, 2013
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend: Large print
Mar 27, 2013
Mar 27, 2013
Stupid people are still dangerous.
Mar 27, 2013
Mar 27, 2013
The $91,500 shirt is actually quite useful
Mar 27, 2013
Mar 26, 2013
It’s disgusting either way, but which is worse?
Mar 26, 2013
Mar 26, 2013
Do you want Kate Middleton’s nose?
Mar 26, 2013
Mar 25, 2013
Speak Up storyteller: James Bengiovanni
Mar 25, 2013
Mar 25, 2013
Was the destruction of the Death Star an inside job? Also, how did Luke Skywalker dodge the stigma of incest so easily?
Mar 25, 2013
Mar 25, 2013
WWMD (or maybe WWMDD)
Mar 25, 2013
Mar 24, 2013
The Matthew Dicks Law of Thank You Notes
Mar 24, 2013
Mar 24, 2013
In the world of gambling, this is what’s known as a parlay.
Mar 24, 2013
Mar 23, 2013
Little girl illogic
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013
Hannah Horvath versus Walter White: Sometimes it has nothing to do with sex.
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 23, 2013
Nuclear bomb. Homemade timer.
Mar 23, 2013
Mar 22, 2013
Happy 70th anniversary
Mar 22, 2013
Mar 22, 2013
Do Not Read List
Mar 22, 2013
Mar 21, 2013
Standing up! First time!
Mar 21, 2013
Mar 21, 2013
I’m back.
Mar 21, 2013
Mar 18, 2013
I invited Bill Clinton and Oprah to our wedding. Their response was not surprising.
Mar 18, 2013
Mar 18, 2013
The bogeyman goes straight. But he’s still a bogeyman to me.
Mar 18, 2013
Mar 17, 2013
Two favorite songs? Is that even possible?
Mar 17, 2013
Mar 17, 2013
I was forced to parent like a lunatic for a night. It wasn’t pretty.
Mar 17, 2013
Mar 16, 2013
Competitive, creative to-do listing: Which do you think is best?
Mar 16, 2013
Mar 16, 2013
Mommy and Charlie clapping
Mar 16, 2013
Mar 15, 2013
The birth of Something Missing: Aimee Mann's theory on creativity matches my own perfectly
Mar 15, 2013
Mar 15, 2013
Multitasking gone bad
Mar 15, 2013
Mar 14, 2013
The Matthew Dicks Pre-Obituary Contest (including fabulous prizes for the winner)
Mar 14, 2013
Mar 14, 2013
Three-trick Charlie
Mar 14, 2013
Mar 13, 2013
Family motto inspired and then rejected
Mar 13, 2013
Mar 13, 2013
A weaponized TV capable of melting metal
Mar 13, 2013
Mar 12, 2013
The definition of silly.
Mar 12, 2013
Mar 11, 2013
Paperback cover!
Mar 11, 2013
Mar 11, 2013
It’s not backwards. It’s fashion forward.
Mar 11, 2013
Mar 10, 2013
Please settle a bet between my wife and me: Did you ever walked the railroad tracks at least once as a child?
Mar 10, 2013
Mar 10, 2013
J.Crew Crew
Mar 10, 2013
Mar 9, 2013
I love it when deserving people are made to look stupid.
Mar 9, 2013
Mar 9, 2013
Luckiest man on the planet
Mar 9, 2013
Mar 8, 2013
Don’t call yourself old
Mar 8, 2013
Mar 8, 2013
A future protagonist, perhaps.
Mar 8, 2013
Mar 7, 2013
Speak Up: True Stories. Real People.
Mar 7, 2013
Mar 7, 2013
Best basketball shot ever
Mar 7, 2013
Mar 6, 2013
The Matthew Dicks Treatise on Humility
Mar 6, 2013
Mar 6, 2013
Do you know anyone who smokes?
Mar 6, 2013
Mar 5, 2013
Grandfather-in-training
Mar 5, 2013
Mar 5, 2013
No two snowflakes (or cows) are alike is bunk
Mar 5, 2013
Mar 4, 2013
Call me an imbecile all you want. Just leave these particular fathers alone, lest we hurt their feelings and make them cry.
Mar 4, 2013
Mar 4, 2013
Some things are better left unsaid
Mar 4, 2013
Mar 3, 2013
I abandoned the Catholic Church at the age of seven. Credit my Catholic mother.
Mar 3, 2013
Mar 3, 2013
Best moment
Mar 3, 2013
Mar 2, 2013
Future game show host?
Mar 2, 2013
Mar 2, 2013
Nineteenth century women did some insane things in the pursuit of beauty. But the modern woman is a hell of a lot crazier.
Mar 2, 2013
Mar 1, 2013
The future of publishing
Mar 1, 2013
Mar 1, 2013
Resolution update: February 2013
Mar 1, 2013
February 2013
Feb 28, 2013
Wife and daughter are capable of even making The Moth better.
Feb 28, 2013
Feb 28, 2013
Football is better than fashion, even if both are inane.
Feb 28, 2013
Feb 27, 2013
When do I write? In the cracks between my toddler’s poops and my wife’s contractions.
Feb 27, 2013
Feb 26, 2013
Dicks serves a purpose
Feb 26, 2013
Feb 26, 2013
There are no easy answers when it comes to video games and violence. Nor is the research on the issue settled.
Feb 26, 2013
Feb 25, 2013
Baby talk
Feb 25, 2013
Feb 25, 2013
The twenty-first century is such a tough time to be alive.
Feb 25, 2013
Feb 24, 2013
What motivates me?
Feb 24, 2013
Feb 24, 2013
Government with a splash of humor
Feb 24, 2013
Feb 23, 2013
A easy-to-implement, nearly-free, must-steal idea for libraries and bookstores everywhere: Blind Date with a Book
Feb 23, 2013
Feb 23, 2013
Rarely have I seen such a blend of hope and tragedy
Feb 23, 2013
Feb 22, 2013
A demanding public
Feb 22, 2013
Feb 22, 2013
The postnuptial agreement: A new method of marital negotiation. An even better indicator of people who need to repeat kindergarten.
Feb 22, 2013
Feb 21, 2013
My wife’s only parenting blunder involves the potentially hazardous use of scissors.
Feb 21, 2013
Feb 21, 2013
One reason to hope for more rain
Feb 21, 2013
Feb 20, 2013
The old man is not a choreographer or dance instructor, regardless of what my daughter would have you believe.
Feb 20, 2013
Feb 20, 2013
Faking your own death as part of the proposal? Exchanging vows via Twitter? Strange, but still better than this.
Feb 20, 2013
Feb 19, 2013
Not three. Look closely. Five.
Feb 19, 2013
Feb 19, 2013
No social media. No bling. Just friends.
Feb 19, 2013
Feb 18, 2013
USA versus UK
Feb 18, 2013
Feb 18, 2013
Three reasons I don’t ski. I also avoid cocaine and Angry Birds for similar reasons.
Feb 18, 2013
Feb 17, 2013
Based upon this year’s birthday gifts, I’m much more mature than I was two years ago.
Feb 17, 2013
Feb 17, 2013
Thanks. Ouch.
Feb 17, 2013
Feb 16, 2013
The search for the perfect handbag instead uncovers a small herd of vapid, mindless, disgusting sheep.
Feb 16, 2013
Feb 16, 2013
Which came first? The chicken or the egg?
Feb 16, 2013
Feb 15, 2013
Creepy doll babysitting my son
Feb 15, 2013
Feb 15, 2013
Are the lessons learned by working your way through college worth the cost?
Feb 15, 2013
Feb 14, 2013
Lessons learned from my McDonald’s career
Feb 14, 2013
Feb 14, 2013
Making people laugh is supposed to be hard work.
Feb 14, 2013
Feb 13, 2013
Immoveable object versus unstoppable force
Feb 13, 2013
Feb 13, 2013
More sibling love
Feb 13, 2013
Feb 12, 2013
Science supports my wife’s hatred of cilantro and my hatred of broccoli, but she has more credibility than me in food related issues. Unfairly so.
Feb 12, 2013
Feb 12, 2013
The person with the highest standards should not automatically be awarded the moral high ground
Feb 12, 2013
Feb 11, 2013
Henry!
Feb 11, 2013
Feb 10, 2013
Politics of Competitive Board Gaming Among Friends
Feb 10, 2013
Feb 10, 2013
Sticking the in-laws in an elaborate doghouse just might be the perfect solution
Feb 10, 2013
Feb 10, 2013
Time is entirely subjective. Just ask a toddler who has been asked to wait one minute.
Feb 10, 2013
Feb 9, 2013
Before you start thinking that this storm is anything like ‘78…
Feb 9, 2013
Feb 9, 2013
The end of wet dog smell is just the beginning
Feb 9, 2013
Feb 8, 2013
Don’t eat the poor lobster.
Feb 8, 2013
Feb 7, 2013
Gold diggers begone!
Feb 7, 2013
Feb 6, 2013
Should I hope that my children struggle as much as I did?
Feb 6, 2013
Feb 5, 2013
She loved me first for my storytelling
Feb 5, 2013
Feb 5, 2013
Save money. Choose only imaginary friends.
Feb 5, 2013
Feb 4, 2013
My children make me a lesser man
Feb 4, 2013
Feb 4, 2013
The $20,000 Pyramid book club
Feb 4, 2013
Feb 3, 2013
I’m an Elizabeth Bennet.
Feb 3, 2013
Feb 3, 2013
Sibling adoration
Feb 3, 2013
Feb 2, 2013
The majesty and utility of the Baby Mum Mum
Feb 2, 2013
Feb 2, 2013
My daughter’s favorite library is not a library
Feb 2, 2013
Feb 1, 2013
Recent editorial comments
Feb 1, 2013
Feb 1, 2013
Brazil seeks to increase intelligence by banning indoor tanning. At least that’s my guess.
Feb 1, 2013
Feb 1, 2013
Sibling cuddles
Feb 1, 2013
January 2013
Jan 31, 2013
Resolution update: January 2013
Jan 31, 2013
Jan 31, 2013
So little
Jan 31, 2013
Jan 30, 2013
A perfect summation of me.
Jan 30, 2013
Jan 30, 2013
Slightly hazardous play makes a birthday party great.
Jan 30, 2013
Jan 29, 2013
My latest and greatest gift idea is one that I think everyone could embrace
Jan 29, 2013
Jan 29, 2013
No Moth, but a silver lining. Probably too generous. Not quite silver. More like chrome.
Jan 29, 2013
Jan 28, 2013
Previous me.
Jan 28, 2013
Jan 28, 2013
Octopussy
Jan 28, 2013
Jan 27, 2013
Amazon’s new policy on book reviews did not impact me thanks to the quality of my friends and family.
Jan 27, 2013
Jan 27, 2013
My daughter’s first day
Jan 27, 2013
Jan 26, 2013
Best of 2013
Jan 26, 2013
Jan 26, 2013
Imaginary friends make cheap dates
Jan 26, 2013
Jan 25, 2013
Four years old today!
Jan 25, 2013
Jan 25, 2013
Imaginary friends selling cars
Jan 25, 2013
Jan 25, 2013
Clara’s infamous Christmas Day poop
Jan 25, 2013
Jan 24, 2013
Guys as friends
Jan 24, 2013
Jan 24, 2013
They can’t win. At least when the critics are stupid.
Jan 24, 2013
Jan 23, 2013
Christmas morning. Unwrapped presents still under the tree. Discussion on the nature of 13.
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 23, 2013
I wonder if his children’s book is nearly as impenetrable as his adult fiction.
Jan 23, 2013
Jan 22, 2013
There is always a reason for an imaginary friend
Jan 22, 2013
Jan 22, 2013
Storytelling coming to Connecticut! Save the date!
Jan 22, 2013
Jan 21, 2013
Making a defeat look like a win
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013
Best Christmas morning words ever spoken
Jan 21, 2013
Jan 20, 2013
It’s ironic, damn it. Or close enough.
Jan 20, 2013
Jan 20, 2013
The Wizard of Oz versus Star Wars
Jan 20, 2013
Jan 19, 2013
The most baffling part about the North Korean government is their inability to lie well.
Jan 19, 2013
Jan 19, 2013
The Flogsta Scream: Creepy and bizarre but I kind of love it.
Jan 19, 2013
Jan 18, 2013
Sorry, kid. Easy Bake Ovens are pink for good reason.
Jan 18, 2013
Jan 18, 2013
We need a lot more of super model Cameron Russell, but not for the reasons you’d expect.
Jan 18, 2013
Jan 17, 2013
The epilogue
Jan 17, 2013
Jan 17, 2013
My son is not a USB device
Jan 17, 2013
Jan 16, 2013
So I guess there’s no practical use for the word then…
Jan 16, 2013
Jan 16, 2013
I might’ve married this guy if given the chance
Jan 16, 2013
Jan 15, 2013
Lessons and observations from a week of The Clowns.
Jan 15, 2013
Jan 15, 2013
This is why I hate leaving for work.
Jan 15, 2013
Jan 14, 2013
First snowman
Jan 14, 2013
Jan 14, 2013
The rebels haven’t gone anywhere. They just suck now.
Jan 14, 2013
Jan 13, 2013
Author Jarrett Krosoczka wins over my students in less than 20 minutes. I’m STILL trying to win them over.
Jan 13, 2013
Jan 13, 2013
My new favorite person in the world
Jan 13, 2013
Jan 12, 2013
My children absolutely adore each other. If you feel the need to tell me it won’t last forever, shut the hell up.
Jan 12, 2013
Jan 11, 2013
Best photos ever (from an author’s perspective)
Jan 11, 2013
Jan 11, 2013
The reason why soda drinkers are more depressed than coffee drinkers is obvious.
Jan 11, 2013
Jan 10, 2013
He must be thinking about the upcoming Patriots playoff game
Jan 10, 2013
Jan 10, 2013
Resolutions that didn’t make the 2013 list
Jan 10, 2013
Jan 10, 2013
The math lesson on Christmas morning was not my idea. I swear.
Jan 10, 2013
Jan 9, 2013
Best use of duct tape ever
Jan 9, 2013
Jan 9, 2013
This is not possible.
Jan 9, 2013
Jan 9, 2013
Why do I use Twitter? Because I am a reader first.
Jan 9, 2013
Jan 8, 2013
Is this a new and innovative way of writing a novel, or am I simply being stupid again?
Jan 8, 2013
Jan 8, 2013
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend: German
Jan 8, 2013
Jan 7, 2013
What did Olivia do this time?
Jan 7, 2013
Jan 6, 2013
I never know what I’m actually writing about
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013
Kurt Cobain and Budo (and Boodah)
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 5, 2013
Opening night for The Clowns! And perhaps a new way of writing fiction?
Jan 5, 2013
Jan 4, 2013
I miss my family.
Jan 4, 2013
Jan 3, 2013
My hairdresser and I are not brother and sister. We just don’t like small talk.
Jan 3, 2013
Jan 3, 2013
I’m not anti-feminist. I just don’t like stupid.
Jan 3, 2013
Jan 2, 2013
New Year's resolutions: 2013
Jan 2, 2013
Jan 2, 2013
My 2012 Christmas haul
Jan 2, 2013
Jan 1, 2013
Resolution update: 2012 in review
Jan 1, 2013
December 2012
Dec 31, 2012
My secret wish for 2013 is for Comic Sans
Dec 31, 2012
Dec 31, 2012
This girl does not look three
Dec 31, 2012
Dec 30, 2012
Mr. Boo
Dec 30, 2012
Dec 30, 2012
Overdressed or underdressed?
Dec 30, 2012
Dec 29, 2012
Outsourcing my New Year’s resolutions again: Would you like to play a role?
Dec 29, 2012
Dec 29, 2012
Lessons from my third Moth victory
Dec 29, 2012
Dec 29, 2012
Charity sucks. At least in this instance.
Dec 29, 2012
Dec 28, 2012
Black and gross
Dec 28, 2012
Dec 27, 2012
My most useless super power
Dec 27, 2012
Dec 27, 2012
Woodstock’s quandary
Dec 27, 2012
Dec 26, 2012
Food Nazis
Dec 26, 2012
Dec 26, 2012
Fat employees receive fewer benefits at Whole Foods
Dec 26, 2012
Dec 26, 2012
Charlie Brown’s close encounter
Dec 26, 2012
Dec 25, 2012
Strangest Christmas behavior ever. Right?
Dec 25, 2012
Dec 25, 2012
First peas
Dec 25, 2012
Dec 24, 2012
A tree is dead. A little girl whispers to the survivors. A family rejoices with chocolate.
Dec 24, 2012
Dec 24, 2012
Poltergeists and an actual house fire
Dec 24, 2012
Dec 23, 2012
Poltergeists and house fires
Dec 23, 2012
Dec 23, 2012
Parents can be awful and despicable to their adult children. I will not be one of them.
Dec 23, 2012
Dec 23, 2012
Happy endings only please.
Dec 23, 2012
Dec 22, 2012
Father and son in Shakespeare
Dec 22, 2012
Dec 22, 2012
Not a fan of Santa Claus
Dec 22, 2012
Dec 21, 2012
Weaponized brownies
Dec 21, 2012
Dec 21, 2012
Dicks could have spared humiliation had they been born in Denmark
Dec 21, 2012
Dec 21, 2012
Joy and cheer indeed!
Dec 21, 2012
Dec 20, 2012
Awkward questions about sex, underwear, my mental health and my tax return.
Dec 20, 2012
Dec 20, 2012
So much for skipping
Dec 20, 2012
Dec 20, 2012
New Year’s resolution failure
Dec 20, 2012
Dec 19, 2012
Judgmental wrapping jerkface
Dec 19, 2012
Dec 19, 2012
Spidermen everywhere
Dec 19, 2012
Dec 18, 2012
Miss me, damn it.
Dec 18, 2012
Dec 18, 2012
Gender equality doesn’t always make good business sense
Dec 18, 2012
Dec 17, 2012
My newfound writing hero
Dec 17, 2012
Dec 17, 2012
What should I think about this?
Dec 17, 2012
Dec 16, 2012
Best words spoken by anyone anywhere anytime ever
Dec 16, 2012
Dec 16, 2012
Flower
Dec 16, 2012
Dec 15, 2012
Paleontologist? Astronomer?
Dec 15, 2012
Dec 15, 2012
Dancing beyond imagination
Dec 15, 2012
Dec 14, 2012
Baby Dragon
Dec 14, 2012
Dec 14, 2012
Just in case you were still questioning the existence of climate change…
Dec 14, 2012
Dec 13, 2012
A holiday gift idea that is unusual, renewable, charitable and might gleefully annoy the materialistic moron in your life.
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 13, 2012
"I stole, cheated and made fires."
Dec 13, 2012
Dec 12, 2012
The “I told you so” calendar is rooted in rhetoric. Its apparent pettiness is simply an unexpected byproduct.
Dec 12, 2012
Dec 12, 2012
She dances like her mother
Dec 12, 2012
Dec 11, 2012
A touch of OCD perhaps?
Dec 11, 2012
Dec 10, 2012
Who am I to deny my daughter this female rite of passage?
Dec 10, 2012
Dec 9, 2012
The definition of taking yourself way too seriously
Dec 9, 2012
Dec 9, 2012
I guess I’m stuck with Elysha forever
Dec 9, 2012
Dec 8, 2012
The bacon coffin. Also real.
Dec 8, 2012
Dec 8, 2012
A hell of a lot of toilet
Dec 8, 2012
Dec 7, 2012
The gravitas of a three-year-old
Dec 7, 2012
Dec 7, 2012
Aliens would zap us for this.
Dec 7, 2012
Dec 7, 2012
He looks like he knows more than he’s willing to admit.
Dec 7, 2012
Dec 6, 2012
Shut up, Torie Bosch.
Dec 6, 2012
Dec 6, 2012
Parenting made easy
Dec 6, 2012
Dec 5, 2012
Most unbelievable trade in the history of mankind. This is not hyperbole.
Dec 5, 2012
Dec 5, 2012
She must hate these people
Dec 5, 2012
Dec 4, 2012
For the consummate Patriots fan
Dec 4, 2012
Dec 4, 2012
I really don’t need my daughter questioning my abilities as a provider
Dec 4, 2012
Dec 3, 2012
Frightened
Dec 3, 2012
Dec 3, 2012
Why our Thanksgiving Day table was better than Whole Foods will ever be.
Dec 3, 2012
Dec 2, 2012
This is real. Frighteningly, horrifyingly, disgustingly real.
Dec 2, 2012
Dec 2, 2012
Affirmation from a Moth audience is unbelievable. Affirmation from a bunch of kids is damn good, too.
Dec 2, 2012
Dec 1, 2012
I adore authenticity, even when it hurts
Dec 1, 2012
Dec 1, 2012
The smell of breakfast whilst you shave
Dec 1, 2012
Dec 1, 2012
Little girl engineers
Dec 1, 2012
November 2012
Nov 30, 2012
Progress with a painful price
Nov 30, 2012
Nov 30, 2012
I’m going to be quite grumpy in my old age
Nov 30, 2012
Nov 29, 2012
Tell me everything? I’d rather you stick a fork in my eye.
Nov 29, 2012
Nov 29, 2012
I may have played the last round of golf in my life, except I didn't because I have no intention of ever dying. Again.
Nov 29, 2012
Nov 28, 2012
Unfair assumption #8: The grown men in the audience of the Glee: The 3D Concert Movie are not friendship material for me.
Nov 28, 2012
Nov 27, 2012
The power and ubiquity of the Twitter
Nov 27, 2012
Nov 26, 2012
Consistency, people.
Nov 26, 2012
Nov 25, 2012
You’re Whole
Nov 25, 2012
Nov 25, 2012
I like you
Nov 25, 2012
Nov 24, 2012
Unfair assumption #7: People who fight over merchandise in Walmart on Black Friday are clearly the scum of the Earth.
Nov 24, 2012
Nov 24, 2012
I have no idea where I bought this sweater, and I have no idea why you even care.
Nov 24, 2012
Nov 23, 2012
Shake Shake Shake.
Nov 23, 2012
Nov 22, 2012
Fast food at a glacial pace
Nov 22, 2012
Nov 21, 2012
The first supper
Nov 21, 2012
Nov 21, 2012
The most interesting question ever asked of me at a book talk and other notes from my recent appearance in Leverett, Massachusetts
Nov 21, 2012
Nov 20, 2012
Dumb Ways to Die
Nov 20, 2012
Nov 19, 2012
They left their bookstores behind.
Nov 19, 2012
Nov 19, 2012
A clear and honest accounting of the national debt in just three minutes
Nov 19, 2012
Nov 18, 2012
Not all grown up yet
Nov 18, 2012
Nov 18, 2012
The playbill!
Nov 18, 2012
Nov 17, 2012
I am nothing compared to Gramps.
Nov 17, 2012
Nov 17, 2012
Space is suddenly a lot less impressive
Nov 17, 2012
Nov 16, 2012
Six perfect words that killed me.
Nov 16, 2012
Nov 16, 2012
My wife was right. You were right. But I was a little right, too.
Nov 16, 2012
Nov 16, 2012
Why brushing your teeth is important
Nov 16, 2012
Nov 15, 2012
I say this is a clever verbal strategy for identifying stupidity. My wife says I’m mean and wrong. Settle the debate.
Nov 15, 2012
Nov 14, 2012
Why nudity sucks and should be avoided at all costs
Nov 14, 2012
Nov 14, 2012
My wife and children are ruining football for me.
Nov 14, 2012
Nov 13, 2012
Unfair assumption #6: If you have your own diamond guy, there is little chance that we could ever be friends.
Nov 13, 2012
Nov 13, 2012
Three reasons why helium balloons suck
Nov 13, 2012
Nov 12, 2012
My toddler is a crack addict. Even worse, your Amber Alert system is still operating in 1997.
Nov 12, 2012
Nov 12, 2012
Your North Face is a your coat, moron.
Nov 12, 2012
Nov 11, 2012
I chose not to become a professional cuddler
Nov 11, 2012
Nov 11, 2012
I’m in complete agreement with Johnny Rotten
Nov 11, 2012
Nov 10, 2012
The perfect apron for those who support vegetables by not eating them.
Nov 10, 2012
Nov 10, 2012
One percent of stupidity
Nov 10, 2012
Nov 9, 2012
I'm honest about my stupidity simply because I'm stupid more often than most.
Nov 9, 2012
Nov 9, 2012
Girl on horse
Nov 9, 2012
Nov 8, 2012
Bloomingdale’s sucks. Whole Foods does not.
Nov 8, 2012
Nov 8, 2012
Save the date
Nov 8, 2012
Nov 7, 2012
My fictional relationships with women
Nov 7, 2012
Nov 6, 2012
Why I chose not to vote today and then did anyway.
Nov 6, 2012
Nov 6, 2012
A correction, an explanation, an inexplicable bit of British advice and a forgotten ferret
Nov 6, 2012
Nov 5, 2012
Introduction conundrum
Nov 5, 2012
Nov 5, 2012
Small world indeed.
Nov 5, 2012
Nov 5, 2012
Nuzzle!
Nov 5, 2012
Nov 3, 2012
Unfair assumption #5: People who back into parking spots are at best irrational and more likely insane.
Nov 3, 2012
Nov 2, 2012
Unfair assumption #4: Men who own ferrets are immature and likely unemployable.
Nov 2, 2012
Nov 2, 2012
More ways to die
Nov 2, 2012
Nov 1, 2012
If you haven’t met my wife and daughter yet, wait five minutes. It’ll happen. I promise.
Nov 1, 2012
Nov 1, 2012
40 years late, jerk face.
Nov 1, 2012
October 2012
Oct 31, 2012
That is not a chicken, damn it.
Oct 31, 2012
Oct 31, 2012
Ann Kingman and Michael Kindness
Oct 31, 2012
Oct 30, 2012
Five months old today!
Oct 30, 2012
Oct 30, 2012
This may not make her the coolest kid in high school
Oct 30, 2012
Oct 30, 2012
Bad Internet
Oct 30, 2012
Oct 30, 2012
Some of my favorite things
Oct 30, 2012
Oct 29, 2012
The Nipple Bra is further proof that it wasn’t entirely my parents’ fault.
Oct 29, 2012
Oct 29, 2012
A dog ate my book.
Oct 29, 2012
Oct 28, 2012
Overstated
Oct 28, 2012
Oct 28, 2012
Worst barcode placement ever
Oct 28, 2012
Oct 28, 2012
Real men don’t use umbrellas, but if we did…
Oct 28, 2012
Oct 27, 2012
Our little dinosaur
Oct 27, 2012
Oct 27, 2012
Bunk
Oct 27, 2012
Oct 26, 2012
Early morning walk in my underwear
Oct 26, 2012
Oct 26, 2012
My three year old is attempting to take control of my clothing choices. And succeeding.
Oct 26, 2012
Oct 25, 2012
Sexist? I initially thought so, but now I am not so sure.
Oct 25, 2012
Oct 25, 2012
Is is unreasonable to expect my daughter to cure cancer or fly to Mars someday?
Oct 25, 2012
Oct 24, 2012
Cardboard boxes rule
Oct 24, 2012
Oct 23, 2012
Read Shakespeare and avoid children’s theater
Oct 23, 2012
Oct 23, 2012
I am not a member of Crystal Method.
Oct 23, 2012
Oct 22, 2012
Hop on Pop indeed
Oct 22, 2012
Oct 22, 2012
The dashboard is no place to roll back technology in favor of tradition
Oct 22, 2012
Oct 21, 2012
Never doubt a librarian
Oct 21, 2012
Oct 21, 2012
An old friend returns
Oct 21, 2012
Oct 21, 2012
My million dollar deal
Oct 21, 2012
Oct 21, 2012
I think she’s in a boat.
Oct 21, 2012
Oct 20, 2012
Sibling love
Oct 20, 2012
Oct 20, 2012
Reverse napping: Science says yes.
Oct 20, 2012
Oct 19, 2012
Editor, wife, daughter, Baby Kitty and The Beatles
Oct 19, 2012
Oct 19, 2012
Bike helmets suck
Oct 19, 2012
Oct 17, 2012
My crazy ideas aren’t so crazy after all.
Oct 17, 2012
Oct 17, 2012
Notes from the Brattleboro Literary Festival
Oct 17, 2012
Oct 17, 2012
Simple pleasures
Oct 17, 2012
Oct 16, 2012
Dead and dead but still breathing
Oct 16, 2012
Oct 16, 2012
A minute of infant cuteness
Oct 16, 2012
Oct 15, 2012
Best advice
Oct 15, 2012
Oct 15, 2012
She likes a little story
Oct 15, 2012
Oct 14, 2012
First family game night!
Oct 14, 2012
Oct 13, 2012
Skipping
Oct 13, 2012
Oct 13, 2012
Smiles for rainy day
Oct 13, 2012
Oct 12, 2012
This is the single greatest technological achievement in all of human history.
Oct 12, 2012
Oct 12, 2012
Eliminate your commute
Oct 12, 2012
Oct 12, 2012
Spite is right
Oct 12, 2012
Oct 11, 2012
Sibling adoration
Oct 11, 2012
Oct 11, 2012
A perfect delineation of the differences between the parties
Oct 11, 2012
Oct 11, 2012
The Simpson’s opening credits in real life
Oct 11, 2012
Oct 10, 2012
Best first sentence for a new story ever
Oct 10, 2012
Oct 10, 2012
The Reverse Nap
Oct 10, 2012
Oct 9, 2012
Plans for the weekend? Why not join me, Jane Yolen and Stuart O’Nan for something I don’t entirely understand.
Oct 9, 2012
Oct 9, 2012
Plants can smell. Plants can see. Now plants are capable of evading predators and determining friend from foe.
Oct 9, 2012
Oct 8, 2012
Background TV sucks. It turns out it’s bad for kids, too. But mostly it sucks.
Oct 8, 2012
Oct 7, 2012
The Dutch cover of MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND is unlike any so far.
Oct 7, 2012
Oct 7, 2012
Add this to my job list. Not this.
Oct 7, 2012
Oct 6, 2012
The Italians love Budo
Oct 6, 2012
Oct 5, 2012
The three day, three month, three year test
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012
She is her father’s daughter
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 4, 2012
Pick a career, damn it. Or ten.
Oct 4, 2012
Oct 3, 2012
I am sick. I am going to work. I am stupid.
Oct 3, 2012
Oct 3, 2012
Brave as hell
Oct 3, 2012
Oct 2, 2012
Dancing with the ladies
Oct 2, 2012
Oct 2, 2012
A freakin’ superhero
Oct 2, 2012
Oct 1, 2012
Unfair assumption #3: People who watch television shows like The Jersey Shore must be morons.
Oct 1, 2012
Oct 1, 2012
Public opinion is irrelevant when it comes to matters of right and wrong
Oct 1, 2012
Oct 1, 2012
Please tell me that this will last forever
Oct 1, 2012
September 2012
Sep 30, 2012
You look terrible, and I think it’s great.
Sep 30, 2012
Sep 30, 2012
Creepy food
Sep 30, 2012
Sep 29, 2012
Dude
Sep 29, 2012
Sep 29, 2012
No more “penis”
Sep 29, 2012
Sep 29, 2012
My wife’s 5 least favorite things
Sep 29, 2012
Sep 28, 2012
There may only be 27 reasons to be grateful for living now
Sep 28, 2012
Sep 28, 2012
It seems fairly obvious but perhaps it’s not: You can’t “become” rich if you’re already rich.
Sep 28, 2012
Sep 28, 2012
Reindeer cake
Sep 28, 2012
Sep 27, 2012
I’d rather be lucky than be dead.
Sep 27, 2012
Sep 27, 2012
Should children be permitted to attend funerals?
Sep 27, 2012
Sep 26, 2012
My daughter does not like chicken but is an apparent medical expert
Sep 26, 2012
Sep 26, 2012
Ninjas to the rescue. Seriously.
Sep 26, 2012
Sep 25, 2012
Little girl in her big girl bed
Sep 25, 2012
Sep 25, 2012
Unfair assumption #2: Smokers are not as smart as nonsmokers.
Sep 25, 2012
Sep 24, 2012
Two new clinical studies find something that everyone already knew
Sep 24, 2012
Sep 24, 2012
Another fan of Charlie’s feet
Sep 24, 2012
Sep 23, 2012
My unglamorous self
Sep 23, 2012
Sep 23, 2012
Adoption in exchange for a kidney would have been a viable option, at least for a while
Sep 23, 2012
Sep 22, 2012
First laughs
Sep 22, 2012
Sep 21, 2012
Killing machines
Sep 21, 2012
Sep 21, 2012
Italians did good.
Sep 21, 2012
Sep 20, 2012
That man from Nantucket is seriously profane.
Sep 20, 2012
Sep 20, 2012
Unfair assumption #1: The larger a man’s watch, the smaller his personal sense of self worth.
Sep 20, 2012
Sep 19, 2012
Every time you watch this video, you’ll see something new.
Sep 19, 2012
Sep 19, 2012
Gift giving is not supposed to be an opportunity to show us how special you are.
Sep 19, 2012
Sep 18, 2012
Caine’s Arcade is back with an equally joyous follow-up story
Sep 18, 2012
Sep 18, 2012
I refuse to give the high school jerks a free pass, regardless of conventional wisdom
Sep 18, 2012
Sep 17, 2012
We won that game three separate times, and then we lost.
Sep 17, 2012
Sep 16, 2012
30 real reasons to be grateful for living
Sep 16, 2012
Sep 15, 2012
Just admit that you think homosexuality is yucky. Don’t drag religion into it.
Sep 15, 2012
Sep 15, 2012
The boy loves his name
Sep 15, 2012
Sep 14, 2012
I don’t care about fairness as long as no one is being harmed in the process.
Sep 14, 2012
Sep 13, 2012
Marriage deconstruction tool
Sep 13, 2012
Sep 13, 2012
Quite the magician
Sep 13, 2012
Sep 13, 2012
Owning a Canadian would be awesome.
Sep 13, 2012
Sep 12, 2012
I think I have a sad story to tell.
Sep 12, 2012
Sep 12, 2012
We did not need science to tell us that sleep training your child is the right thing to do.
Sep 12, 2012
Sep 11, 2012
A teacher’s memory of 9/11
Sep 11, 2012
Sep 11, 2012
This is not a nap
Sep 11, 2012
Sep 10, 2012
The boy apparently loves patty-cake
Sep 10, 2012
Sep 10, 2012
Brace yourself.
Sep 10, 2012
Sep 9, 2012
Unrequited love
Sep 9, 2012
Sep 9, 2012
So much nuance in just 30 seconds of bigotry
Sep 9, 2012
Sep 8, 2012
My boyhood adventure land
Sep 8, 2012
Sep 8, 2012
The many faces of Charlie
Sep 8, 2012
Sep 7, 2012
The Internet makes it a very small world
Sep 7, 2012
Sep 7, 2012
Amazing or amazingly awful?
Sep 7, 2012
Sep 6, 2012
My little girl playing football?
Sep 6, 2012
Sep 6, 2012
Gumby and me in the HOV
Sep 6, 2012
Sep 5, 2012
Clint Eastwood’s Imaginary Friend was really his convenient friend
Sep 5, 2012
Sep 5, 2012
Best race of 2012 without exception
Sep 5, 2012
Sep 5, 2012
I’m not afraid.
Sep 5, 2012
Sep 4, 2012
The Open and Close Eyes Game
Sep 4, 2012
Sep 4, 2012
A message I try to drill into my students every single day
Sep 4, 2012
Sep 4, 2012
Tickets prices and fatherhood are not the reasons that I see fewer movies today
Sep 4, 2012
Sep 3, 2012
Unnecessary repetition. Wasted opportunity.
Sep 3, 2012
Sep 3, 2012
A stinging barb and a hint of underwear were my undoing
Sep 3, 2012
Sep 2, 2012
I could’ve been selling magic spells for years
Sep 2, 2012
Sep 2, 2012
Crying over spilled milk
Sep 2, 2012
Sep 1, 2012
Resolution update: August 2012
Sep 1, 2012
Sep 1, 2012
Face down no matter what!
Sep 1, 2012
August 2012
Aug 31, 2012
A bushel of book recommendations
Aug 31, 2012
Aug 31, 2012
My childhood went by undocumented
Aug 31, 2012
Aug 30, 2012
A peek into the inbox of an author
Aug 30, 2012
Aug 30, 2012
The big guy is three months old today!
Aug 30, 2012
Aug 29, 2012
Safety warnings ignored at risk to Lamby
Aug 29, 2012
Aug 29, 2012
Impromptu driving range
Aug 29, 2012
Aug 28, 2012
The lowest forms of human communication
Aug 28, 2012
Aug 28, 2012
First haircut accomplished.
Aug 28, 2012
Aug 27, 2012
This is not supposed to be a complicated game.
Aug 27, 2012
Aug 27, 2012
Alex Pareene’s takedown of Andy Borowitz’s humor in Salon is a joke.
Aug 27, 2012
Aug 26, 2012
The many faces of Charles Wallace
Aug 26, 2012
Aug 26, 2012
Personal competition gets stuff done
Aug 26, 2012
Aug 25, 2012
The most critical lessons that I teach my students each year
Aug 25, 2012
Aug 25, 2012
She expects me to read her mind
Aug 25, 2012
Aug 24, 2012
Second place sucks
Aug 24, 2012
Aug 23, 2012
Three unique book reviews
Aug 23, 2012
Aug 23, 2012
Bookseller love
Aug 23, 2012
Aug 22, 2012
Forgetfulness
Aug 22, 2012
Aug 22, 2012
My book launch included three very special people
Aug 22, 2012
Aug 21, 2012
Pub day outfit
Aug 21, 2012
Aug 21, 2012
I am not alone on this new journey
Aug 21, 2012
Aug 21, 2012
Best tea party ever!
Aug 21, 2012
Aug 20, 2012
There’s a time and place for bad news
Aug 20, 2012
Aug 20, 2012
The iPhone needs a better name
Aug 20, 2012
Aug 19, 2012
I can teach you how to sleep
Aug 19, 2012
Aug 19, 2012
When choosing a gravestone, why not get creative?
Aug 19, 2012
Aug 18, 2012
Face down! All of you!
Aug 18, 2012
Aug 17, 2012
I spy a fundamental misunderstanding of the “I Spy” game
Aug 17, 2012
Aug 17, 2012
I experienced my first taste of anti-Semitism through online poker, and I’m not even Jewish.
Aug 17, 2012
Aug 17, 2012
A true-life space adventure that includes bears and wolves!
Aug 17, 2012
Aug 16, 2012
Design yourself
Aug 16, 2012
Aug 16, 2012
Twain understood the power of stupidity
Aug 16, 2012
Aug 16, 2012
My wife cannot abide by cheating, even if you could be dead tomorrow.
Aug 16, 2012
Aug 15, 2012
Paleontologist extraordinaire
Aug 15, 2012
Aug 15, 2012
I am capable of making serious financial and medical decisions while I am sleepwalking. That, my friends, is productivity.
Aug 15, 2012
Aug 14, 2012
I already wrote this story.
Aug 14, 2012
Aug 14, 2012
Manipulative. Indecisive. Transparent.
Aug 14, 2012
Aug 13, 2012
My wife is going to freakin’ love this.
Aug 13, 2012
Aug 13, 2012
Stop delaying the inevitable. Same-sex marriage is going to happen. Don’t be left standing with the ignorant and bigoted few.
Aug 13, 2012
Aug 13, 2012
How to sleep train your child
Aug 13, 2012
Aug 12, 2012
Men are much more likely to use nicknames. Is this true, and if so, why?
Aug 12, 2012
Aug 12, 2012
Misplaced priorities
Aug 12, 2012
Aug 11, 2012
Six questions about music that define you
Aug 11, 2012
Aug 11, 2012
It wasn’t bed bugs. It was just an exceptionally rare form of canine scabies. That’s all.
Aug 11, 2012
Aug 10, 2012
Just when everything was going so well…
Aug 10, 2012
Aug 10, 2012
Cardboard Tube Fighting
Aug 10, 2012
Aug 9, 2012
Ugly baby
Aug 9, 2012
Aug 9, 2012
Podcast naming winners announced
Aug 9, 2012
Aug 9, 2012
First bottle. Probably the last bottle.
Aug 9, 2012
Aug 8, 2012
My wife’s wedding vows
Aug 8, 2012
Aug 8, 2012
Watch. Laugh. And be very afraid.
Aug 8, 2012
Aug 8, 2012
Einstein was dumb
Aug 8, 2012
Aug 7, 2012
Curmudgeonly thinking
Aug 7, 2012
Aug 7, 2012
My wedding vows
Aug 7, 2012
Aug 7, 2012
My boy!
Aug 7, 2012
Aug 6, 2012
Three packages arrived last week. Only one was creepy and sexually inappropriate.
Aug 6, 2012
Aug 6, 2012
Prepare to cry
Aug 6, 2012
Aug 5, 2012
Maybe yoga isn’t such a good idea after all.
Aug 5, 2012
Aug 5, 2012
Is my extreme honesty hurting myself or helping others?
Aug 5, 2012
Aug 4, 2012
My mother soaked me in neurotoxins and endocrine disruptors as a child
Aug 4, 2012
Aug 3, 2012
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend is here!
Aug 3, 2012
Aug 3, 2012
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2012
Aug 3, 2012
Aug 3, 2012
The problem with Slate’s Double X Gabfest
Aug 3, 2012
Aug 2, 2012
“Sticks and stones” does not apply in Italy
Aug 2, 2012
Aug 2, 2012
Why didn’t anyone tell me that all these women were have sex in front of me?
Aug 2, 2012
Aug 1, 2012
A surprising response to my request that women stop wearing makeup
Aug 1, 2012
Aug 1, 2012
Foreign editions have arrived!
Aug 1, 2012
Aug 1, 2012
Resolution update: July 2012
Aug 1, 2012
July 2012
Jul 31, 2012
No makeup, ladies. Please?
Jul 31, 2012
Jul 30, 2012
2012: Products I can’t live without
Jul 30, 2012
Jul 30, 2012
I can totally picture that in my head.
Jul 30, 2012
Jul 29, 2012
Parenting is supposed to make you sad, frightened and neurotic. Don’t make your kids suffer by mitigating the pain.
Jul 29, 2012
Jul 28, 2012
The right way to make a commercial
Jul 28, 2012
Jul 27, 2012
Can I re-write a book from my back list the same way Def Leppard re-recorded songs and now owns their rights?
Jul 27, 2012
Jul 26, 2012
Does Wikipedia have a a woman problem or do women have a Wikipedia problem?
Jul 26, 2012
Jul 26, 2012
Zapped!
Jul 26, 2012
Jul 25, 2012
Signage for the stupid
Jul 25, 2012
Jul 25, 2012
More from The Baby Whisperer
Jul 25, 2012
Jul 25, 2012
Church of the Holy Penis
Jul 25, 2012
Jul 24, 2012
Five favorite quotes
Jul 24, 2012
Jul 24, 2012
The sexually suggestive Mr. Snuffleupagus
Jul 24, 2012
Jul 23, 2012
I questioned why there were young children at the Aurora theater, and there was nothing wrong with me doing so.
Jul 23, 2012
Jul 23, 2012
Three unjust presumptions
Jul 23, 2012
Jul 22, 2012
Psychoanalyzing my Moth GrandSLAM performance
Jul 22, 2012
Jul 22, 2012
The Baby Whisperer
Jul 22, 2012
Jul 22, 2012
Utterly terrifying super power
Jul 22, 2012
Jul 21, 2012
Least favorite animal
Jul 21, 2012
Jul 21, 2012
Urine, drugs and advertising
Jul 21, 2012
Jul 20, 2012
The recent decision by The Boy Scouts of America has left this Boy Scout rudderless
Jul 20, 2012
Jul 20, 2012
An added benefit to a great story
Jul 20, 2012
Jul 19, 2012
Matthew Brown reads Matthew Green
Jul 19, 2012
Jul 19, 2012
Now I feel like a loser
Jul 19, 2012
Jul 19, 2012
Thoughts from my second Moth GrandSLAM
Jul 19, 2012
Jul 18, 2012
Another fairly useless super power
Jul 18, 2012
Jul 18, 2012
This is something I will always remember
Jul 18, 2012
Jul 17, 2012
Wedding reboot: Making friends in ways I can’t begin to imagine
Jul 17, 2012
Jul 17, 2012
Plants can see! See you eat them!
Jul 17, 2012
Jul 16, 2012
The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Sadly, tragically, lamentably not for everyone
Jul 16, 2012
Jul 16, 2012
Wedding reboot: Free repairs
Jul 16, 2012
Jul 15, 2012
No one wants your stupid diploma so find something else to say.
Jul 15, 2012
Jul 15, 2012
Wedding reboot: My killjoy wife
Jul 15, 2012
Jul 15, 2012
Wedding reboot: Talent discovered off the coast of Bermuda
Jul 15, 2012
Jul 14, 2012
I will use The Force if necessary. Or the humiliation of a Star Wars plush backpack.
Jul 14, 2012
Jul 14, 2012
Wedding reboot: Even happier than a verbal victory
Jul 14, 2012
Jul 13, 2012
Have you ever seen a better looking burrito?
Jul 13, 2012
Jul 13, 2012
Difficulty staying Faithful
Jul 13, 2012
Jul 13, 2012
Wedding reboot: Perhaps my wife owns a crystal ball
Jul 13, 2012
Jul 12, 2012
Subtle and specific and possibly effective
Jul 12, 2012
Jul 12, 2012
I am launching a podcast and I need some advice. Best of all, I have prizes to offer.
Jul 12, 2012
Jul 11, 2012
Best two sentences ever
Jul 11, 2012
Jul 11, 2012
Universal acts of parental stupidity
Jul 11, 2012
Jul 10, 2012
Wedding reboot: Forgot the ring
Jul 10, 2012
Jul 10, 2012
I have never
Jul 10, 2012
Jul 10, 2012
Super secret time travel for the purposes of behavior management
Jul 10, 2012
Jul 9, 2012
Wedding reboot: Wedding response runner-up
Jul 9, 2012
Jul 9, 2012
Men want it all, too, damn it.
Jul 9, 2012
Jul 9, 2012
Do these prices make any sense to you?
Jul 9, 2012
Jul 8, 2012
Wedding reboot: Nana recommends pole dancing
Jul 8, 2012
Jul 8, 2012
Our little reader
Jul 8, 2012
Jul 7, 2012
Darth Vader would never have allowed such a cheap shot
Jul 7, 2012
Jul 7, 2012
Team effort
Jul 7, 2012
Jul 7, 2012
Wedding reboot: Favorite wedding moments
Jul 7, 2012
Jul 6, 2012
Wedding reboot: Best wedding response ever
Jul 6, 2012
Jul 6, 2012
From lunacy to reason in just three days
Jul 6, 2012
Jul 6, 2012
I hate the Red Sox, but I love these guys
Jul 6, 2012
Jul 5, 2012
Last year I punched the guy. Yesterday he apologized.
Jul 5, 2012
Jul 5, 2012
Replacing a monster of a father
Jul 5, 2012
Jul 5, 2012
My babies!
Jul 5, 2012
Jul 5, 2012
“The Most Amazing Bowling Story Ever”
Jul 5, 2012
Jul 4, 2012
Wedding reboot: Matt and Elysha trivia
Jul 4, 2012
Jul 4, 2012
Charlie and Mommy
Jul 4, 2012
Jul 4, 2012
Simian declarations
Jul 4, 2012
Jul 3, 2012
“I don’t want to be Jewish!”
Jul 3, 2012
Jul 3, 2012
MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND in Greece
Jul 3, 2012
Jul 3, 2012
The gender disparity of the marriage proposal
Jul 3, 2012
Jul 2, 2012
The inexplicable is fertile ground for fiction.
Jul 2, 2012
Jul 2, 2012
Resolution update: June 2012
Jul 2, 2012
Jul 2, 2012
Pop head off before eating.
Jul 2, 2012
Jul 1, 2012
Teaching terrifying books?
Jul 1, 2012
Jul 1, 2012
My first hickey in a very long time
Jul 1, 2012
June 2012
Jun 30, 2012
Serious about sleep
Jun 30, 2012
Jun 30, 2012
My daughter’s first ambulance ride
Jun 30, 2012
Jun 29, 2012
Electricity, death, and some old fashioned backyard fun. Has there ever been a better combination?
Jun 29, 2012
Jun 29, 2012
Conflicting emotions
Jun 29, 2012
Jun 28, 2012
The Friendship Application 2.0
Jun 28, 2012
Jun 28, 2012
Just say I screwed up
Jun 28, 2012
Jun 27, 2012
Imaginary amigo!
Jun 27, 2012
Jun 27, 2012
The surprising results of my highly unscientific social media survey (I’m honest, hard-working and jerky) and thoughts on effectively analyzing an author’s brand.
Jun 27, 2012
Jun 26, 2012
Making his feelings abundantly clear
Jun 26, 2012
Jun 26, 2012
A new, perhaps bladder-inspired ending to Tiny Furniture
Jun 26, 2012
Jun 26, 2012
Feel good
Jun 26, 2012
Jun 25, 2012
Charlie’s First Day
Jun 25, 2012
Jun 25, 2012
Final cover at last! And Publisher’s Weekly, too!
Jun 25, 2012
Jun 25, 2012
Strong evidence that I'm probably a terrible person
Jun 25, 2012
Jun 24, 2012
Father-son staring contest
Jun 24, 2012
Jun 24, 2012
I judged this book by its cover (and its title) because I'm an idiot
Jun 24, 2012
Jun 23, 2012
Little People at a Drive-In Theater
Jun 23, 2012
Jun 22, 2012
The odd, invented, sometimes violent, oftentimes adult oriented games of my childhood.
Jun 22, 2012
Jun 22, 2012
The benefits of delayed adolescence are exceptionally obvious and profoundly shortsighted.
Jun 22, 2012
Jun 21, 2012
Thick crust cheesy pizza alive and well
Jun 21, 2012
Jun 20, 2012
Bed cartography
Jun 20, 2012
Jun 20, 2012
Old people are hilarious.
Jun 20, 2012
Jun 19, 2012
One-handed typing made possible
Jun 19, 2012
Jun 19, 2012
I like myself a lot, but if given the choice, I might choose to be Jimmy Fallon instead.
Jun 19, 2012
Jun 18, 2012
“Luke, I am your father.”
Jun 18, 2012
Jun 18, 2012
Dead? Then why not be the firework? And not dead shark chunks.
Jun 18, 2012
Jun 17, 2012
You can heretofore refer to me as Lord Matthew J. Dicks if you would like, because I am an actual Lord. Seriously.
Jun 17, 2012
Jun 17, 2012
Stupidest name for a musical instrument ever. Possibly the stupidest name ever.
Jun 17, 2012
Jun 17, 2012
Grip
Jun 17, 2012
Jun 15, 2012
I want a standing desk, but I'd settle for the the most amazing desk in the history of human civilization as well.
Jun 15, 2012
Jun 14, 2012
I can play favorites with my children but not my books
Jun 14, 2012
Jun 13, 2012
Hybrid snobbery
Jun 13, 2012
Jun 13, 2012
Best baby gift so far
Jun 13, 2012
Jun 13, 2012
The first rule of memoir
Jun 13, 2012
Jun 12, 2012
The Moth: Bike Off Roof
Jun 12, 2012
Jun 12, 2012
Competing against my hero
Jun 12, 2012
Jun 11, 2012
My hometown on Blackstone, Massachusetts needs to learn the value of doing nothing
Jun 11, 2012
Jun 10, 2012
Resemblance update
Jun 10, 2012
Jun 10, 2012
When my wife and I argue, it’s about how our eldest child was conceived
Jun 10, 2012
Jun 9, 2012
See the resemblance?
Jun 9, 2012
Jun 9, 2012
Peeping Tom
Jun 9, 2012
Jun 8, 2012
The Moth: Shoe Thief
Jun 8, 2012
Jun 8, 2012
A moment that makes up for all the poop
Jun 8, 2012
Jun 7, 2012
Four audiobooks: One I loved, two I can’t wait to listen to, and one that annoys the hell out of me.
Jun 7, 2012
Jun 7, 2012
Cost effective way of attending college
Jun 7, 2012
Jun 7, 2012
There are places (and moments) that I will always remember
Jun 7, 2012
Jun 6, 2012
Resolution update: May 2012
Jun 6, 2012
Jun 6, 2012
A recommendation, a quandary and a stupid book that belongs in the trash
Jun 6, 2012
Jun 5, 2012
I brought my son home from the hospital and found myself in the midst of Hartford’s Puerto Rican parade.
Jun 5, 2012
Jun 4, 2012
You can’t lie to a man with a penis
Jun 4, 2012
Jun 3, 2012
Carlos Fuentes understood me before I understood me
Jun 3, 2012
Jun 2, 2012
Stop trying to monopolize the angst, ladies.
Jun 2, 2012
Jun 1, 2012
Statistically speaking, am I the best husband and father of all time? And should I make my wife aware of these favorable numbers?
Jun 1, 2012
May 2012
May 31, 2012
What’s in a name? Several literary references.
May 31, 2012
May 30, 2012
My career as a professional best man is hindered only by a lack of teleportation
May 30, 2012
May 30, 2012
I suspect that working women are more mentally tough than Barbara Walters believes
May 30, 2012
May 29, 2012
Exposing the lunatic Little League coaches for who they really are.
May 29, 2012
May 29, 2012
Fostering disobedience
May 29, 2012
May 28, 2012
Not exactly a solution to my existential crisis, but it's a start.
May 28, 2012
May 27, 2012
Plants have a sense of smell. A SENSE OF SMELL, PEOPLE! This brings them one step closer to chickens and cows and pigs.
May 27, 2012
May 26, 2012
Will she be asking to meet for coffee next?
May 26, 2012
May 26, 2012
There must be something wrong with people who tan on a regular basis. Right?
May 26, 2012
May 25, 2012
Hate reading and hate watching: What a stupid, disingenuous waste of time
May 25, 2012
May 24, 2012
Go to bed (in a whisper)
May 24, 2012
May 23, 2012
How to win at tug of war
May 23, 2012
May 23, 2012
A rare glimpse at a master teacher at work
May 23, 2012
May 22, 2012
Go to bed!
May 22, 2012
May 22, 2012
Deathbed regrets revisited: 2012
May 22, 2012
May 21, 2012
I don't like hot drinks. I may be a thermal taster. Kind of like a superhero.
May 21, 2012
May 21, 2012
Ranking Stephen King’s 62 books: Some minor quibbling on my part
May 21, 2012
May 20, 2012
A rare moment of recollection
May 20, 2012
May 20, 2012
This is absolutely true for men. Not so sure about women.
May 20, 2012
May 19, 2012
Three bits of wedding advice at the beginning of wedding season
May 19, 2012
May 18, 2012
Smart men thinking stupid things about death
May 18, 2012
May 18, 2012
I threw cases of French fries against walls to relieve stress.
May 18, 2012
May 17, 2012
Desperate times call for desperate measures
May 17, 2012
May 17, 2012
I am not a loser, little one, and I will have the shirt to prove it.
May 17, 2012
May 16, 2012
You have been replaced by an app, sir.
May 16, 2012
May 15, 2012
Recent press for Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
May 15, 2012
May 15, 2012
Yes. I’m an author. Yes, with real books and everything. Why doesn't anyone want to believe me?
May 15, 2012
May 14, 2012
Is one book a year enough?
May 14, 2012
May 14, 2012
A whole new breed of middle school student
May 14, 2012
May 13, 2012
That moment…
May 13, 2012
May 13, 2012
Father’s Day
May 13, 2012
May 12, 2012
Elephant sandwich?
May 12, 2012
May 11, 2012
Gratitude journal: The best kind of friend
May 11, 2012
May 11, 2012
A noble rite of passage
May 11, 2012
May 11, 2012
My new hero: A six year old boy
May 11, 2012
May 10, 2012
Gratitude journal: Home at last
May 10, 2012
May 10, 2012
The Kingman Rule of Book Snobbery
May 10, 2012
May 10, 2012
How To Survive a Robot Uprising
May 10, 2012
May 9, 2012
Gratitude journal: Sleepless
May 9, 2012
May 9, 2012
A motorcycle, The Omen, a coin thief, a teenage love triangle and an escape from our home: The stories of my childhood babysitters
May 9, 2012
May 9, 2012
A peek into John Irving’s day
May 9, 2012
May 8, 2012
Gratitude journal: She swings!
May 8, 2012
May 8, 2012
Holding a serious bookish grudge
May 8, 2012
May 8, 2012
Kissing cousins
May 8, 2012
May 7, 2012
Gratitude journal: Baby still on board
May 7, 2012
May 7, 2012
The author’s brand: Which approach is best? And please don’t say whichever approach feels best to you, because that is annoying and not at all helpful.
May 7, 2012
May 6, 2012
Gratitude journal: Daddy got the outfit right
May 6, 2012
May 6, 2012
Prom update from a white boy
May 6, 2012
May 6, 2012
Adult-sized toilet. Child-sized toilet. Bet you can’t guess which one I used.
May 6, 2012
May 5, 2012
It’s like kudzu.
May 5, 2012
May 5, 2012
No prom allowed
May 5, 2012
May 5, 2012
Disaster averted.
May 5, 2012
May 4, 2012
Gratitude journal: Grandparent love
May 4, 2012
May 4, 2012
She loves her future sibling, perhaps because she has not been asked to share yet.
May 4, 2012
May 4, 2012
My wife looks beautiful, so shut up, lady.
May 4, 2012
May 3, 2012
Gratitude journal: My solo mission
May 3, 2012
May 3, 2012
French toast is her Muse
May 3, 2012
May 3, 2012
Resolution update: April 2012
May 3, 2012
May 2, 2012
Gratitude journal: Still her favorite thing to do
May 2, 2012
May 2, 2012
I forged author Kate DiCamillo’s signature, but don’t worry. I was signing one of her books.
May 2, 2012
May 2, 2012
My little future novelist?
May 2, 2012
May 1, 2012
Gratitude journal: First day bliss
May 1, 2012
May 1, 2012
Newburyport Literary Festival 2012
May 1, 2012
May 1, 2012
My stable of podcasts
May 1, 2012
April 2012
Apr 30, 2012
Gratitude journal: New shoes!
Apr 30, 2012
Apr 30, 2012
Gift giving insurance: Appealing to the basest, most vile members of the human race
Apr 30, 2012
Apr 30, 2012
A song for all the crazy readers of the world
Apr 30, 2012
Apr 29, 2012
Gratitude journal: The boss lady
Apr 29, 2012
Apr 29, 2012
The secret to early retirement
Apr 29, 2012
Apr 28, 2012
Gratitude journal: So damn lucky
Apr 28, 2012
Apr 28, 2012
A long period of self-imposed silence might be lifting
Apr 28, 2012
Apr 28, 2012
My new favorite photo of me and my girl
Apr 28, 2012
Apr 27, 2012
Gratitude journal: This
Apr 27, 2012
Apr 27, 2012
The prize for this writing contest includes tears and humiliation
Apr 27, 2012
Apr 27, 2012
Literary juxtaposition
Apr 27, 2012
Apr 26, 2012
Gratitude journal: Cuddling the baby
Apr 26, 2012
Apr 26, 2012
Forgetting she’s gone
Apr 26, 2012
Apr 26, 2012
Wisdom beyond his years. Or perhaps I just have a lot of growing up to do.
Apr 26, 2012
Apr 25, 2012
Gratitude journal: Class or an AT&T dead zone
Apr 25, 2012
Apr 25, 2012
A bookseller, a reader and an imaginary friend
Apr 25, 2012
Apr 25, 2012
Background television makes you stupid. Or perhaps you're an idiot for failing to turn off the television in the first place. Either way, turn the damn thing off when you're not watching.
Apr 25, 2012
Apr 24, 2012
Gratitude journal: The absolute euphoria of prime factorization
Apr 24, 2012
Apr 24, 2012
A joyous respite for book lovers everywhere
Apr 24, 2012
Apr 24, 2012
The joy of a cupcake
Apr 24, 2012
Apr 23, 2012
Gratitude journal: A place for the pooch
Apr 23, 2012
Apr 23, 2012
Reflections on Booktopia 2012
Apr 23, 2012
Apr 23, 2012
Pebbles
Apr 23, 2012
Apr 22, 2012
Gratitude journal: Reunion
Apr 22, 2012
Apr 22, 2012
On the topic of book covers: Recommended listening and recommended viewing
Apr 22, 2012
Apr 22, 2012
My recent NYC visit included a fibrous hymen, a visit with a fictional character and a heart wrenching betrayal by a friend.
Apr 22, 2012
Apr 22, 2012
Gratitude journal: Avoiding the math
Apr 22, 2012
Apr 21, 2012
Foiled!
Apr 21, 2012
Apr 21, 2012
Wisdom above a toilet
Apr 21, 2012
Apr 20, 2012
Gratitude journal: More than just babysitters
Apr 20, 2012
Apr 20, 2012
The Moth: The Freak
Apr 20, 2012
Apr 20, 2012
Gratitude journal: Diana
Apr 20, 2012
Apr 18, 2012
Gratitude journal: Third wheeling
Apr 18, 2012
Apr 18, 2012
The Moth: Life Lessons Learned While Pole Vaulting
Apr 18, 2012
Apr 18, 2012
Knuffle Bunny Free nearly made my wife weep. I would've cried had I not been so manly.
Apr 18, 2012
Apr 17, 2012
Gratitude journal: Frightened daughter
Apr 17, 2012
Apr 17, 2012
If you’re looking to buy me something…
Apr 17, 2012
Apr 17, 2012
I have a very defined sensibility, or I perhaps I'm just a lunatic.
Apr 17, 2012
Apr 16, 2012
Gratitude journal: This
Apr 16, 2012
Apr 16, 2012
Anatomy of a book cover
Apr 16, 2012
Apr 16, 2012
No more home runs. Please. I’m begging you.
Apr 16, 2012
Apr 15, 2012
Gratitude journal: Books before film
Apr 15, 2012
Apr 15, 2012
“That was the greatest thing I ever saw at school!”
Apr 15, 2012
Apr 14, 2012
Gratitude journal: Firsts
Apr 14, 2012
Apr 14, 2012
Traitorous progeny
Apr 14, 2012
Apr 14, 2012
Meta
Apr 14, 2012
Apr 13, 2012
Gratitude journal: Baby still cooking
Apr 13, 2012
Apr 13, 2012
Looking for a literary agent? Have you tried this strategy yet?
Apr 13, 2012
Apr 12, 2012
Gratitude journal: He thankfully fired first.
Apr 12, 2012
Apr 12, 2012
Metaphorically speaking?
Apr 12, 2012
Apr 12, 2012
Caine’s Arcade: Pure joy
Apr 12, 2012
Apr 12, 2012
Bob Dylan was oh so right.
Apr 12, 2012
Apr 11, 2012
Gratitude journal: Separated at birth
Apr 11, 2012
Apr 11, 2012
Click over to read.
Apr 11, 2012
Apr 11, 2012
Why are doctors such liars?
Apr 11, 2012
Apr 10, 2012
Gratitude journal: Pink elephant availability
Apr 10, 2012
Apr 10, 2012
The 21 stages of accepting an agent’s critique
Apr 10, 2012
Apr 10, 2012
Too much like Daddy
Apr 10, 2012
Apr 9, 2012
Gratitude journal: Dancing in the kitchen
Apr 9, 2012
Apr 9, 2012
When was I supposed to tell him that she is pregnant?
Apr 9, 2012
Apr 8, 2012
Gratitude journal: Plentiful Easter
Apr 8, 2012
Apr 8, 2012
Ant killer turned ant savior
Apr 8, 2012
Apr 8, 2012
My Wikipedia dream
Apr 8, 2012
Apr 7, 2012
Gratitude journal: Peanut free Easter candy
Apr 7, 2012
Apr 7, 2012
Instagram Budo
Apr 7, 2012
Apr 7, 2012
Waiting for Daddy
Apr 7, 2012
Apr 6, 2012
Gratitude journal: WordPress
Apr 6, 2012
Apr 6, 2012
Say it ain't so.
Apr 6, 2012
Apr 6, 2012
Unusual, inexplicable, tragic and occasionally victorious
Apr 6, 2012
Apr 5, 2012
Gratitude journal: Four square
Apr 5, 2012
Apr 4, 2012
What do you think of the blog’s new design?
Apr 4, 2012
Apr 4, 2012
Bambi Vs. Godzilla: Pleasantly surprised
Apr 4, 2012
Apr 3, 2012
Gratitude journal: Three good geeks
Apr 3, 2012
Apr 3, 2012
What were you doing in your twenties?
Apr 3, 2012
Apr 2, 2012
Gratitude journal: Booksellers everywhere
Apr 2, 2012
Apr 2, 2012
It's a girl!
Apr 2, 2012
Apr 1, 2012
Gratitude journal: The denial of ice cream
Apr 1, 2012
Apr 1, 2012
Resolution update: March 2012
Apr 1, 2012
Apr 1, 2012
Anti-Barney rhetoric proves to be effective
Apr 1, 2012
March 2012
Mar 31, 2012
Gratitude journal: Location location location
Mar 31, 2012
Mar 31, 2012
The Pteranodon song
Mar 31, 2012
Mar 31, 2012
I will marry you: 3 things to look for when hiring a wedding officiant
Mar 31, 2012
Mar 30, 2012
Gratitude journal: Surprise
Mar 30, 2012
Mar 30, 2012
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend: An audio preview
Mar 30, 2012
Mar 29, 2012
Gratitude journal: A stolen kiss
Mar 29, 2012
Mar 29, 2012
I think I have finally found the perfect catchphrase to use when signing a reader’s book.
Mar 29, 2012
Mar 28, 2012
Gratitude journal: The ticking of the clock
Mar 28, 2012
Mar 28, 2012
The Golden Rule: Complete and total nonsense
Mar 28, 2012
Mar 27, 2012
Gratitude journal: Daddy
Mar 27, 2012
Mar 27, 2012
She has this new baby thing all figured out.
Mar 27, 2012
Mar 27, 2012
Guessing game gone awry
Mar 27, 2012
Mar 26, 2012
Gratitude journal: The best of friends
Mar 26, 2012
Mar 26, 2012
My first library book: Desperately seeking the title
Mar 26, 2012
Mar 26, 2012
Gone fishin’
Mar 26, 2012
Mar 25, 2012
Gratitude journal: Clara’s kisses
Mar 25, 2012
Mar 25, 2012
Adolescent boys are apparently easily entertained by really stupid (but AWESOME) stuff
Mar 25, 2012
Mar 25, 2012
I finally read Where the Wild Things Are. Sort of.
Mar 25, 2012
Mar 24, 2012
Gratitude journal: The almost perfect game
Mar 24, 2012
Mar 24, 2012
Blurb!
Mar 24, 2012
Mar 24, 2012
Cutest astronaut ever
Mar 24, 2012
Mar 23, 2012
Gratitude journal: The perfect game
Mar 23, 2012
Mar 23, 2012
Insightful and hilarious confirmation that my publisher and I are a perfect match
Mar 23, 2012
Mar 23, 2012
Bun Head’s lesson to a bad boy and future teacher.
Mar 23, 2012
Mar 22, 2012
Gratitude journal: I didn’t marry that woman.
Mar 22, 2012
Mar 22, 2012
The evolving sadness of my mother’s death
Mar 22, 2012
Mar 21, 2012
Gratitude journal: My big little writers
Mar 21, 2012
Mar 21, 2012
Radio New Zealand interview
Mar 21, 2012
Mar 21, 2012
Heartbreakingly amusing
Mar 21, 2012
Mar 21, 2012
New York girl
Mar 21, 2012
Mar 20, 2012
Gratitude journal: A lost cow finds its way home
Mar 20, 2012
Mar 20, 2012
Storm troopers with iPhones
Mar 20, 2012
Mar 19, 2012
Gratitude journal: 2012
Mar 19, 2012
Mar 19, 2012
“Striking many” and “wishing death to some” still allows time for plenty of math and science
Mar 19, 2012
Mar 19, 2012
Some of the toughest parental decisions that I'll ever have to make may be about Star Wars
Mar 19, 2012
Mar 18, 2012
Gratitude journal: He’s alive, well and interesting.
Mar 18, 2012
Mar 18, 2012
Stegosauruses are for losers
Mar 18, 2012
Mar 18, 2012
Inexplicable stupidity
Mar 18, 2012
Mar 17, 2012
Gratitude journal: She loves dinosaurs!
Mar 17, 2012
Mar 17, 2012
He ruined my iPhone.
Mar 17, 2012
Mar 17, 2012
Pandering or positivity?
Mar 17, 2012
Mar 16, 2012
Gratitude journal: My kids
Mar 16, 2012
Mar 16, 2012
Why you will fail to have a great career
Mar 16, 2012
Mar 16, 2012
SOMETHING MISSING: Asian style
Mar 16, 2012
Mar 16, 2012
Elysha Dicks is cool.
Mar 16, 2012
Mar 15, 2012
Gratitude journal: Clara in the morning
Mar 15, 2012
Mar 15, 2012
When it comes to a pregnant woman’s size, ladies, please just shut the hell up.
Mar 15, 2012
Mar 15, 2012
No recording allowed
Mar 15, 2012
Mar 14, 2012
Gratitude journal: Readers live-tweeting my book
Mar 14, 2012
Mar 14, 2012
Put yourself out there
Mar 14, 2012
Mar 14, 2012
Spite is your friend
Mar 14, 2012
Mar 13, 2012
Gratitude journal: Portlandia
Mar 13, 2012
Mar 13, 2012
Three Little Pigs: Hardcore
Mar 13, 2012
Mar 13, 2012
You can’t take back slut.
Mar 13, 2012
Mar 12, 2012
Gratitude journal: A good sleeper
Mar 12, 2012
Mar 12, 2012
Keep Calm and Carry On
Mar 12, 2012
Mar 12, 2012
Our romantic evening with the engineer
Mar 12, 2012
Mar 11, 2012
Gratitude journal: Gramps
Mar 11, 2012
Mar 11, 2012
What kind of discount would you expect after a night like this?
Mar 11, 2012
Mar 11, 2012
Times Square: The place that New Yorkers love to hate
Mar 11, 2012
Mar 11, 2012
Budo and company are well traveled
Mar 11, 2012
Mar 10, 2012
Gratitude journal: The benefits of dragging a pregnant woman around the city with you
Mar 10, 2012
Mar 10, 2012
Our little scientist!
Mar 10, 2012
Mar 10, 2012
A one minute Davy Jones audition video breaks my heart. What is wrong with me?
Mar 10, 2012
Mar 9, 2012
Gratitude Journal: This guy
Mar 9, 2012
Mar 9, 2012
I won another Moth StorySLAM, and this time my wife deserves all of the credit.
Mar 9, 2012
Mar 8, 2012
Gratitude journal: Simplicity
Mar 8, 2012
Mar 8, 2012
Does the television weatherman serve any useful purpose anymore? I think not.
Mar 8, 2012
Mar 8, 2012
My book has gone abroad
Mar 8, 2012
Mar 7, 2012
“In My Life” I have never seen anything better
Mar 7, 2012
Mar 6, 2012
Gratitude journal: Idiot cat knows one important thing
Mar 6, 2012
Mar 6, 2012
Baby Lily is an orphan and I shouldn’t give a damn.
Mar 6, 2012
Mar 5, 2012
Gratitude journal: No gestational diabetes
Mar 5, 2012
Mar 5, 2012
That does suck.
Mar 5, 2012
Mar 5, 2012
Near-death understanding
Mar 5, 2012
Mar 4, 2012
Gratitude journal: Exceptionally practical friends who understand that brevity is the soul of wit
Mar 4, 2012
Mar 4, 2012
The future is apparently now. Jetsons-styled food is almost here. Ice cream, however, remains a problem.
Mar 4, 2012
Mar 4, 2012
No one tried to kill me last night. For a change.
Mar 4, 2012
Mar 3, 2012
Gratitude journal: An abundance of ideas
Mar 3, 2012
Mar 3, 2012
Has the pie-in-the-window cliché ever been put into practice? Even once?
Mar 3, 2012
Mar 3, 2012
Resolution update: February 2012
Mar 3, 2012
Mar 2, 2012
Gratitude journal: Dr. Seuss
Mar 2, 2012
Mar 2, 2012
Long lost ex-step-siblings and reincarnated brothers
Mar 2, 2012
Mar 2, 2012
Pole vaulting, mailbox baseball and going to the prom are just a few of my ideas.
Mar 2, 2012
Mar 1, 2012
Gratitude journal: Lunch with a pretty girl
Mar 1, 2012
Mar 1, 2012
International pub day for Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend
Mar 1, 2012
Mar 1, 2012
My disrespect for a life of leisure is unfortunate but real. Also supported by one of America's greatest statesmen.
Mar 1, 2012
February 2012
Feb 29, 2012
Gratitude journal: The unplanned, unexpected, spontaneous nap
Feb 29, 2012
Feb 29, 2012
Another Starbucks zombie reject
Feb 29, 2012
Feb 29, 2012
Look. Someone ruined lollipops.
Feb 29, 2012
Feb 28, 2012
Gratitude journal: The life-altering surprise visit
Feb 28, 2012
Feb 28, 2012
I am not a Starbucks zombie.
Feb 28, 2012
Feb 28, 2012
The positive, vicious circle of weight loss
Feb 28, 2012
Feb 28, 2012
Sesame Street is better with friends. A whole lot of well organized, hyper-attentive friends.
Feb 28, 2012
Feb 27, 2012
Gratitude journal: Time zones (I know. Weird, huh?)
Feb 27, 2012
Feb 27, 2012
Breakfast and The Beatles (and a little chair dancing)
Feb 27, 2012
Feb 27, 2012
I can only hope that my students were playing videogames or watching TV or playing with fire when Rick Santorum was speaking.
Feb 27, 2012
Feb 26, 2012
Gratitude journal: Just the right movie for a workout
Feb 26, 2012
Feb 26, 2012
Shopping and cooking take too much damn time.
Feb 26, 2012
Feb 25, 2012
Happy to not suffer from a shrinking penis
Feb 25, 2012
Feb 25, 2012
Mindy Kaling’s 13 Rules for Guys
Feb 25, 2012
Feb 25, 2012
I know she’s not actually reading…
Feb 25, 2012
Feb 24, 2012
Gratitude journal: Daddy!
Feb 24, 2012
Feb 24, 2012
Cat Stevens taught me that authors should not act like jerks.
Feb 24, 2012
Feb 24, 2012
Real estate booming in certain sectors
Feb 24, 2012
Feb 23, 2012
Gratitude journal: This and this
Feb 23, 2012
Feb 23, 2012
A lot of preparation required in order to watch TV
Feb 23, 2012
Feb 22, 2012
Gratitude journal: Not tempted in the slightest
Feb 22, 2012
Feb 22, 2012
It’s here!
Feb 22, 2012
Feb 22, 2012
Three important writing lessons, as described by my three-year old daughter
Feb 22, 2012
Feb 21, 2012
Gratitude journal: I was wrong. I’m so glad.
Feb 21, 2012
Feb 21, 2012
Raising my daughter is a piece of cake, and there’s a good reason why I say this as often as possible.
Feb 21, 2012
Feb 20, 2012
Gratitude journal: The sliver of time spent in the car
Feb 20, 2012
Feb 20, 2012
Dinner with a dead man
Feb 20, 2012
Feb 20, 2012
Pirate ship/In-law apartment
Feb 20, 2012
Feb 19, 2012
Gratitude journal: The cat-saving, stain-removing, near-miraculous SpotBot
Feb 19, 2012
Feb 19, 2012
Why learning to write well matters.
Feb 19, 2012
Feb 18, 2012
Gratitude journal: The Cadbury Crème Egg
Feb 18, 2012
Feb 18, 2012
Movie crusade update
Feb 18, 2012
Feb 18, 2012
Not cool.
Feb 18, 2012
Feb 17, 2012
Gratitude journal: A lack of sensitivity
Feb 17, 2012
Feb 17, 2012
Falik took the bathroom. What should Dicks name?
Feb 17, 2012
Feb 16, 2012
Gratitude journal: My daughter’s illiteracy
Feb 16, 2012
Feb 16, 2012
Weeping, I tell you. WEEPING.
Feb 16, 2012
Feb 16, 2012
Baby-in-the-movie follow-up and the start of a new crusade
Feb 16, 2012
Feb 15, 2012
Gratitude journal: Perfect behavior
Feb 15, 2012
Feb 15, 2012
I went to see The Descendants and found myself sitting beside two morons and their baby.
Feb 15, 2012
Feb 15, 2012
Gratitude journal: Tupperware
Feb 15, 2012
Feb 14, 2012
The problem with karma (and my completely realistic solution)
Feb 14, 2012
Feb 13, 2012
Gratitude journal: The awfulness snuck up on me and now it is over
Feb 13, 2012
Feb 13, 2012
Yes, it was a jerky thing to do, but it made me happy and she deserved it.
Feb 13, 2012
Feb 13, 2012
Do you ever cross your fingers anymore?
Feb 13, 2012
Feb 12, 2012
Gratitude journal: Possibility
Feb 12, 2012
Feb 12, 2012
5 rules to follow when you find or steal a wallet or handbag
Feb 12, 2012
Feb 11, 2012
Gratitude journal: Uploading to Google Docs
Feb 11, 2012
Feb 11, 2012
Even if it’s the best thing ever, I’m not sure that I want to do it if hipster parents in Park Slope are doing it, too.
Feb 11, 2012
Feb 11, 2012
The unexpected hazards of golf, including the potential to be stabbed
Feb 11, 2012
Feb 10, 2012
Gratitude journal: Cheapest surgery ever
Feb 10, 2012
Feb 10, 2012
I love my gym, but I can hardly vote for it as the best health and fitness center if it’s killing people
Feb 10, 2012
Feb 10, 2012
More sexy rumpus: Wiser words have never been spoken
Feb 10, 2012
Feb 9, 2012
Gratitude journal: New shoes
Feb 9, 2012
Feb 9, 2012
Best goodnight ever
Feb 9, 2012
Feb 9, 2012
Jesus Christ and these capital letters do not belong
Feb 9, 2012
Feb 8, 2012
Gratitude journal: Well timed stranger danger (and a little parental cruelty)
Feb 8, 2012
Feb 8, 2012
A joyous third birthday!
Feb 8, 2012
Feb 8, 2012
He returns
Feb 8, 2012
Feb 7, 2012
Gratitude journal: A daughter’s excitement
Feb 7, 2012
Feb 7, 2012
Last time being two
Feb 7, 2012
Feb 7, 2012
A potentially great day ruined by you-know-what
Feb 7, 2012
Feb 6, 2012
Gratitude journal: Unexpected empathy
Feb 6, 2012
Feb 6, 2012
Cowboy Clara
Feb 6, 2012
Feb 6, 2012
The world is no less polite or civil today than in years past. You're just blind to the realities of history, technology, and memory.
Feb 6, 2012
Feb 5, 2012
Gratitude journal: A safe arrival, a game of poker and an honest-to-goodness resurrection
Feb 5, 2012
Feb 5, 2012
No one needs this much room to poop.
Feb 5, 2012
Feb 5, 2012
She gets ice cream. We get chicken and pasta?
Feb 5, 2012
Feb 4, 2012
What happened to bunnies and kitties and cookies?
Feb 4, 2012
Feb 4, 2012
Resolution update: January 2012
Feb 4, 2012
Feb 2, 2012
If you’re going to ask one question in an interview, perhaps it should be, “Tell me about your parents.”
Feb 2, 2012
Feb 1, 2012
Gratitude journal: Visiting the fish
Feb 1, 2012
Feb 1, 2012
My goodnight kiss
Feb 1, 2012
Feb 1, 2012
Close Encounters of the Third Kind: A great movie tragically marred by Steven Spielberg's failure to engage in unprotected sex.
Feb 1, 2012
January 2012
Jan 31, 2012
Gratitude journal (with a sprinkle of spite): Fountain soda and NOT COFFEE
Jan 31, 2012
Jan 31, 2012
A tickle. Not a tissue.
Jan 31, 2012
Jan 31, 2012
I am an upright, though occasionally marginalized, Pacific Islander.
Jan 31, 2012
Jan 30, 2012
Gratitude journal: Many hands thrust Budo and his friends into the light
Jan 30, 2012
Jan 30, 2012
Skating on linoleum: A future Olympic sport
Jan 30, 2012
Jan 30, 2012
Rules for surviving a zombie apocalypse (based upon ACTUAL EXPERIENCE)
Jan 30, 2012
Jan 29, 2012
Gratitude journal: Unexpected reader response
Jan 29, 2012
Jan 29, 2012
Rage against the dying of the light, damn it.
Jan 29, 2012
Jan 29, 2012
Birthday girl!
Jan 29, 2012
Jan 28, 2012
Gratitude journal: Recycled furniture
Jan 28, 2012
Jan 28, 2012
Name game
Jan 28, 2012
Jan 28, 2012
Icky
Jan 28, 2012
Jan 27, 2012
Gratitude journal: Patience
Jan 27, 2012
Jan 27, 2012
It’s true. I have no neck.
Jan 27, 2012
Jan 27, 2012
She works in cheese
Jan 27, 2012
Jan 26, 2012
Gratitude journal: Dental technology
Jan 26, 2012
Jan 26, 2012
Twitter goodness
Jan 26, 2012
Jan 26, 2012
Best umbrella ever.
Jan 26, 2012
Jan 26, 2012
Clara’s first day: January 25, 2009
Jan 26, 2012
Jan 25, 2012
Gratitude journal: Andy Mayo
Jan 25, 2012
Jan 25, 2012
Sick of your date asking to split a dessert? I have the solution that will change your life forever. Seriously.
Jan 25, 2012
Jan 25, 2012
It was a girl!
Jan 25, 2012
Jan 25, 2012
Kind of surprised that I used the phrase “damn it” in a letter to my soon-to-be-born daughter
Jan 25, 2012
Jan 24, 2012
Gratitude journal: A ticket and a kaleidoscope
Jan 24, 2012
Jan 24, 2012
5 amazing fantastic things that I stupidly misjudged or prejudged initially
Jan 24, 2012
Jan 24, 2012
Cautionary Tale unnecessary
Jan 24, 2012
Jan 23, 2012
You should not compare your wife to an elephant, regardless of the context
Jan 23, 2012
Jan 23, 2012
A nightmare involving crystal meth, the New England Patriots and Mandy Patinkin
Jan 23, 2012
Jan 22, 2012
Gratitude journal: Patriots
Jan 22, 2012
Jan 22, 2012
It’s the Year of the Dragon, which is a hell of a lot better than the year of the rat or the rooster
Jan 22, 2012
Jan 22, 2012
Untrustworthy narrator
Jan 22, 2012
Jan 21, 2012
Gratitude journal: Fraidy-cats
Jan 21, 2012
Jan 21, 2012
The many covers of SOMETHING MISSING
Jan 21, 2012
Jan 21, 2012
You are probably stupid in comparison to your children, and you only have your parents to blame
Jan 21, 2012
Jan 21, 2012
A Charlie Brown Christmas, again and again and again
Jan 21, 2012
Jan 20, 2012
Nick Bottom saves the day
Jan 20, 2012
Jan 20, 2012
In the company of greatness
Jan 20, 2012
Jan 20, 2012
Towers and castles and monuments, oh my!
Jan 20, 2012
Jan 20, 2012
The reason that you are trying to lose weight could be the key to your success or failure
Jan 20, 2012
Jan 19, 2012
Gratitude journal: My wife’s tears
Jan 19, 2012
Jan 19, 2012
Underwhelming. No, more than that. Weird.
Jan 19, 2012
Jan 19, 2012
SOMETHING MISSING: The Korean edition
Jan 19, 2012
Jan 19, 2012
Three simple, slightly spiteful, steps to happiness
Jan 19, 2012
Jan 18, 2012
Gratitude for gloves and mittens
Jan 18, 2012
Jan 18, 2012
The greatest sacrifice of all
Jan 18, 2012
Jan 18, 2012
Why Your Life Sucks in Two Simple Pictures
Jan 18, 2012
Jan 18, 2012
Why my daughter is free to watch Scooby Doo whenever she damn well pleases
Jan 18, 2012
Jan 17, 2012
Gratitude journal: The family dinner
Jan 17, 2012
Jan 17, 2012
Todd Glass’s call for support of the LGBT community
Jan 17, 2012
Jan 17, 2012
Hilarious because it’s a farce and it’s also so true
Jan 17, 2012
Jan 17, 2012
Toddler definitions are the best
Jan 17, 2012
Jan 16, 2012
Gratitude journal: Orthotics
Jan 16, 2012
Jan 16, 2012
Four tiny bites of carrot ruined my night.
Jan 16, 2012
Jan 16, 2012
An end to the ritual of the funeral processional, at least for me
Jan 16, 2012
Jan 16, 2012
Punishing my daughter and punishing myself
Jan 16, 2012
Jan 15, 2012
Gratitude journal: Wife
Jan 15, 2012
Jan 15, 2012
Sharing stinks
Jan 15, 2012
Jan 15, 2012
Defying the odds, the most unlikely delivery ever, and burning Tebow in effigy
Jan 15, 2012
Jan 14, 2012
Gratitude journal: Engaged readers
Jan 14, 2012
Jan 14, 2012
Fruit salad
Jan 14, 2012
Jan 14, 2012
I can't identify a Kardashian because I look away.
Jan 14, 2012
Jan 13, 2012
Gratitude journal: Inexplicable acceptance
Jan 13, 2012
Jan 13, 2012
A new way of speaking that my wife cannot object to. Right?
Jan 13, 2012
Jan 13, 2012
Mexican worry doll gave me something to seriously worry about
Jan 13, 2012
Jan 13, 2012
Not exactly normal behavior
Jan 13, 2012
Jan 12, 2012
Gratitude journal: The phone call
Jan 12, 2012
Jan 12, 2012
Non-starter
Jan 12, 2012
Jan 12, 2012
Pajama Day takedown
Jan 12, 2012
Jan 11, 2012
Gratitude journal: Boo Boo Penguin
Jan 11, 2012
Jan 11, 2012
Delaying what is inevitable and right
Jan 11, 2012
Jan 11, 2012
Unexpected sympathy
Jan 11, 2012
Jan 11, 2012
My lack of a nightstand
Jan 11, 2012
Jan 10, 2012
Gratitude journal: Rocketfish RF-MAB2 Headphones
Jan 10, 2012
Jan 10, 2012
Lowering the bar for husbands everywhere
Jan 10, 2012
Jan 9, 2012
Gratitude journal: Bowling for Soup
Jan 9, 2012
Jan 9, 2012
Perfect descriptor
Jan 9, 2012
Jan 8, 2012
Gratitude journal: Clara’s special kiss
Jan 8, 2012
Jan 8, 2012
Elysha’s surprise party
Jan 8, 2012
Jan 8, 2012
When you’re done pushing the baby out, I have a sentence to write, honey.
Jan 8, 2012
Jan 7, 2012
Gratitude journal: The perfect babysitter
Jan 7, 2012
Jan 7, 2012
Accurate assessment of the situation
Jan 7, 2012
Jan 7, 2012
The efficacy of a mother should never be overlooked.
Jan 7, 2012
Jan 7, 2012
Damn. He read my mind perfectly.
Jan 7, 2012
Jan 6, 2012
A positively spiteful attitude is a beautiful thing
Jan 6, 2012
Jan 6, 2012
Our little flower girl
Jan 6, 2012
Jan 6, 2012
Pen and ink are not required for history
Jan 6, 2012
Jan 5, 2012
Gratitude journal: Cuddling and closure
Jan 5, 2012
Jan 5, 2012
25 Things, again
Jan 5, 2012
Jan 5, 2012
Don’t mess with my 7-11
Jan 5, 2012
Jan 4, 2012
The first post of my gratitude journal
Jan 4, 2012
Jan 4, 2012
It’s a boy!
Jan 4, 2012
Jan 4, 2012
The music of UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO
Jan 4, 2012
Jan 4, 2012
White people choose Presidential candidates
Jan 4, 2012
Jan 3, 2012
And she wanted to wait in the car…
Jan 3, 2012
Jan 3, 2012
Resolutions that didn’t make the list in 2012
Jan 3, 2012
Jan 2, 2012
New Year’s Resolutions 2012
Jan 2, 2012
Jan 2, 2012
C-L-A-R-A spells Clara
Jan 2, 2012
Jan 1, 2012
If bacteria can solve Sodoku, how challenging or worthwhile can it be?
Jan 1, 2012
Jan 1, 2012
Quality family time
Jan 1, 2012
December 2011
Dec 31, 2011
Cheesy, over-the-top, obnoxious nonsense
Dec 31, 2011
Dec 31, 2011
Resolution update: 2011 in review
Dec 31, 2011
Dec 30, 2011
Skype and Facebook do not mitigate the absence of a loved one, and it was stupid of Roger Angell to assert otherwise
Dec 30, 2011
Dec 30, 2011
My awkward, uncomfortable gay moment
Dec 30, 2011
Dec 29, 2011
Six months later, the New York Times finds a whole need breed of douchebags to quote about wrist watches
Dec 29, 2011
Dec 29, 2011
Maximum joy
Dec 29, 2011
Dec 28, 2011
The story of our engagement
Dec 28, 2011
Dec 28, 2011
Outsourcing my New Year’s resolutions: Would you like to play a role?
Dec 28, 2011
Dec 28, 2011
A book with real secrets waiting to be revealed (with a thumb or a hair dryer)
Dec 28, 2011
Dec 27, 2011
How a fan of Boston sports fell in love with the Yankees
Dec 27, 2011
Dec 27, 2011
Full house
Dec 27, 2011
Dec 26, 2011
You are not pregnant. She is.
Dec 26, 2011
Dec 26, 2011
My 2011 Christmas haul
Dec 26, 2011
Dec 25, 2011
Complex naming formula
Dec 25, 2011
Dec 25, 2011
A perfect Christmas message
Dec 25, 2011
Dec 24, 2011
First piece for the new house
Dec 24, 2011
Dec 24, 2011
I am apparently not nice to people
Dec 24, 2011
Dec 24, 2011
Future storyteller?
Dec 24, 2011
Dec 23, 2011
A reward for a stolen umbrella transformed into a reward for the execution of a small boy. Better than an obit for a still-alive mother.
Dec 23, 2011
Dec 23, 2011
Justin Bieber and a pile of books!
Dec 23, 2011
Dec 22, 2011
Business idea using a Google search and a willing celebrity
Dec 22, 2011
Dec 22, 2011
My daughter may be choosing her career path
Dec 22, 2011
Dec 21, 2011
The Emperor might have been better off with Han Solo and Luke Skywalker foiling his plans
Dec 21, 2011
Dec 21, 2011
Worst Hanukkah ever
Dec 21, 2011
Dec 20, 2011
One of my favorite words was added to the American Heritage Dictionary
Dec 20, 2011
Dec 20, 2011
Inexplicably real
Dec 20, 2011
Dec 19, 2011
Deadlines be damned!
Dec 19, 2011
Dec 19, 2011
They tried to slice my throat open, but I stopped them with my words.
Dec 19, 2011
Dec 18, 2011
My two simple rules of gift giving
Dec 18, 2011
Dec 17, 2011
I hereby call for a boycott on the stupidity of packaged greeting cards
Dec 17, 2011
Dec 16, 2011
His position on same sex marriage is abhorrent, but credit him for his civility and willing to engage
Dec 16, 2011
Dec 16, 2011
2011
Dec 16, 2011
Dec 15, 2011
The best needle ever
Dec 15, 2011
Dec 15, 2011
Solutions to the problem of too many freakin’ gifts
Dec 15, 2011
Dec 14, 2011
The perfect teacher gift
Dec 14, 2011
Dec 14, 2011
You just lost a customer, Lowes
Dec 14, 2011
Dec 13, 2011
A chink in my super hero armor
Dec 13, 2011
Dec 13, 2011
The stupidest thing that you can say when helping someone locate lost keys or a wallet or a phone
Dec 13, 2011
Dec 12, 2011
Interview my bully? I don't think so.
Dec 12, 2011
Dec 12, 2011
Time flies when you're creating?
Dec 12, 2011
Dec 11, 2011
No more goodie bags
Dec 11, 2011
Dec 11, 2011
The United States is comprised of exactly 50 states? I don't believe it.
Dec 11, 2011
Dec 10, 2011
Grand plans
Dec 10, 2011
Dec 10, 2011
In need of an alibi?
Dec 10, 2011
Dec 9, 2011
I finally found something I want for Christmas.
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011
Satan at Christmas time
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 9, 2011
Young, thin and preferably blond
Dec 9, 2011
Dec 7, 2011
Buffering, procrastination and taunts from the mouth of a babe
Dec 7, 2011
Dec 7, 2011
My approach to the book tour: Part 2
Dec 7, 2011
Dec 7, 2011
Our little Nutcracker ballerina
Dec 7, 2011
Dec 6, 2011
My approach to the book tour
Dec 6, 2011
Dec 5, 2011
Cute Thanksgiving Day photos
Dec 5, 2011
Dec 5, 2011
A reminder that some of the best gifts come in cheap packages. And in some case, the best gifts are actually cheap packaging.
Dec 5, 2011
Dec 5, 2011
This post-feminist world is confusing to me.
Dec 5, 2011
Dec 4, 2011
It’s got everything. Opposition to authority. A First Amendment battle. And the stupidity of the demanded apology.
Dec 4, 2011
Dec 3, 2011
Misery loves no company
Dec 3, 2011
Dec 3, 2011
Your greatest accomplishments probably mean nothing. Or they only meant something for a moment.
Dec 3, 2011
Dec 3, 2011
Mean, stupid teachers.
Dec 3, 2011
Dec 2, 2011
The worst thing I have ever done to my wife (unless she can think of something worse)
Dec 2, 2011
Dec 2, 2011
Taunting my inadequacy
Dec 2, 2011
Dec 1, 2011
A man invites friends to a tool party. Hammers and saws demonstrated and sold in his living room. The response would be universal.
Dec 1, 2011
Dec 1, 2011
Resolution update: November 2011
Dec 1, 2011
November 2011
Nov 30, 2011
Parasite onboard
Nov 30, 2011
Nov 30, 2011
Brand new gift idea for that needy boy named Sue.
Nov 30, 2011
Nov 29, 2011
Triceratops
Nov 29, 2011
Nov 29, 2011
Observations from last night’s Moth StorySlam performance
Nov 29, 2011
Nov 28, 2011
Could someone please tell Michele Bachmann that whining about the source of your apology is not exactly Presidential
Nov 28, 2011
Nov 28, 2011
The Boogha Boogha Monster returns after more than two decades
Nov 28, 2011
Nov 27, 2011
You get 40 points just for breathing
Nov 27, 2011
Nov 27, 2011
Dressed up to not work out
Nov 27, 2011
Nov 26, 2011
Where does she learn these things?
Nov 26, 2011
Nov 26, 2011
Working hard for the money: Update
Nov 26, 2011
Nov 25, 2011
What I never told you about marriage
Nov 25, 2011
Nov 25, 2011
Goodnight dance
Nov 25, 2011
Nov 24, 2011
The maypole is kind of stupid. Right?
Nov 24, 2011
Nov 24, 2011
My first bit of Thanksgiving thanks
Nov 24, 2011
Nov 23, 2011
Coupons can’t terrorize anyone
Nov 23, 2011
Nov 23, 2011
Step in or step away?
Nov 23, 2011
Nov 22, 2011
No admittance
Nov 22, 2011
Nov 21, 2011
Is good parenting sometimes cruel parenting? Do the ends justify the means?
Nov 21, 2011
Nov 21, 2011
Best
Nov 21, 2011
Nov 20, 2011
MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND: Foreign news
Nov 20, 2011
Nov 19, 2011
Keeping it off
Nov 19, 2011
Nov 19, 2011
I’ve changed my mind. Cheese isn’t always good.
Nov 19, 2011
Nov 18, 2011
The still-awaiting-a-proper-title To-Do List #2
Nov 18, 2011
Nov 18, 2011
This is not about God. It’s about a man’s ability to throw an oblong sphere through the air. That’s it.
Nov 18, 2011
Nov 18, 2011
Another perfect end to the day
Nov 18, 2011
Nov 17, 2011
You’ll share a bar of soap but not a pair of underwear?
Nov 17, 2011
Nov 17, 2011
Preparing for battle
Nov 17, 2011
Nov 16, 2011
Bronies: Another sign of the impending apocalypse
Nov 16, 2011
Nov 16, 2011
8 “shocking truths” about me
Nov 16, 2011
Nov 15, 2011
Weiner-Dicks agreement
Nov 15, 2011
Nov 15, 2011
Before Goodreads, there was Art Garfunkel
Nov 15, 2011
Nov 14, 2011
The pap smear’s biggest problem
Nov 14, 2011
Nov 13, 2011
The Clowns recap
Nov 13, 2011
Nov 12, 2011
What do Hannibal Lecter and I have in common?
Nov 12, 2011
Nov 12, 2011
This "most wondrous thing." A gift or a curse?
Nov 12, 2011
Nov 11, 2011
Yes, I work a lot. Yes, I have a lot of jobs. But look at all the empirical happiness they bring me.
Nov 11, 2011
Nov 11, 2011
French pastry expert
Nov 11, 2011
Nov 10, 2011
This is how I end almost everyday with my daughter. Lucky me.
Nov 10, 2011
Nov 10, 2011
Football is beautiful.
Nov 10, 2011
Nov 10, 2011
People are actually buying this. I checked.
Nov 10, 2011
Nov 9, 2011
My daughter thinks fall sucks, and justifiably so.
Nov 9, 2011
Nov 9, 2011
Don’t swing hard!
Nov 9, 2011
Nov 8, 2011
I’m actually a gentle, peace-loving, rather agreeable person.
Nov 8, 2011
Nov 8, 2011
I want this list, too, but I am too lazy to make it.
Nov 8, 2011
Nov 7, 2011
Julie Andrews trumps the Patriots
Nov 7, 2011
Nov 7, 2011
Fear not. There is a perfectly legal means for students and teachers to bully students different than them.
Nov 7, 2011
Nov 6, 2011
You can’t just say it’s art
Nov 6, 2011
Nov 5, 2011
Translation #2
Nov 5, 2011
Nov 5, 2011
Guest post: An essay on the power of getting to know an author personally
Nov 5, 2011
Nov 4, 2011
My first marquee!
Nov 4, 2011
Nov 4, 2011
The awaiting-a-proper-title To-Do List #1
Nov 4, 2011
Nov 4, 2011
The most mysterious and captivating 83 seconds of video on the Internet
Nov 4, 2011
Nov 3, 2011
Three principles to guarantee happiness
Nov 3, 2011
Nov 3, 2011
Two Whales
Nov 3, 2011
Nov 3, 2011
Translation
Nov 3, 2011
Nov 2, 2011
I don’t love sweets.
Nov 2, 2011
Nov 2, 2011
Stupid parents doing stupid things.
Nov 2, 2011
Nov 1, 2011
Resolution update: October 2011
Nov 1, 2011
Nov 1, 2011
Post-Halloween brilliance
Nov 1, 2011
Nov 1, 2011
Her first letter was a V
Nov 1, 2011
October 2011
Oct 31, 2011
A tale of two storms
Oct 31, 2011
Oct 31, 2011
No need for toys
Oct 31, 2011
Oct 31, 2011
The Clowns final rehearsal
Oct 31, 2011
Oct 29, 2011
Freakin’ October 29th
Oct 29, 2011
Oct 29, 2011
Low self confidence makes people annoying
Oct 29, 2011
Oct 29, 2011
Confluence of cuteness
Oct 29, 2011
Oct 28, 2011
My successful evasion of police pursuit
Oct 28, 2011
Oct 27, 2011
How did you choose your career path? Or did your career path choose you?
Oct 27, 2011
Oct 27, 2011
Happy Daddy
Oct 27, 2011
Oct 26, 2011
Same world, different view of police officers
Oct 26, 2011
Oct 26, 2011
500 years ago was not that appealing
Oct 26, 2011
Oct 25, 2011
Martin Cooper kicked Alexander Graham Bell’s ass
Oct 25, 2011
Oct 25, 2011
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
Oct 25, 2011
Oct 25, 2011
Eerily accurate…
Oct 25, 2011
Oct 24, 2011
I would not have handled this situation nearly as well
Oct 24, 2011
Oct 24, 2011
It’s 6:00 on a Saturday morning. Are you awake?
Oct 24, 2011
Oct 24, 2011
Not nice
Oct 24, 2011
Oct 23, 2011
I couldn't read the word "the"
Oct 23, 2011
Oct 23, 2011
Future writer? Or perhaps an editor?
Oct 23, 2011
Oct 22, 2011
Maybe this preschool is worth the cost after all…
Oct 22, 2011
Oct 22, 2011
Have you ever seen a more beautiful sunrise?
Oct 22, 2011
Oct 22, 2011
A lost wedding ring, an unfriendly receptionist and peeing in the wrong place
Oct 22, 2011
Oct 21, 2011
Suggested revisions to religious services (and an offer to lead your congregation to happiness)
Oct 21, 2011
Oct 21, 2011
What apple?
Oct 21, 2011
Oct 20, 2011
Nothing makes me happier…
Oct 20, 2011
Oct 19, 2011
Three suspect descriptors
Oct 19, 2011
Oct 19, 2011
Thoughts from my first Moth GrandSLAM
Oct 19, 2011
Oct 18, 2011
The Moon sucks
Oct 18, 2011
Oct 16, 2011
Draw a Stickman: A waste of time well spent
Oct 16, 2011
Oct 15, 2011
Impressed. Briefly.
Oct 15, 2011
Oct 15, 2011
Getting noticed
Oct 15, 2011
Oct 14, 2011
Best to-do list ever
Oct 14, 2011
Oct 14, 2011
This video made me laugh, but it strikes fear in my heart as a father and teacher, too.
Oct 14, 2011
Oct 13, 2011
Fatherless. Thanks a lot, Transformers.
Oct 13, 2011
Oct 13, 2011
I deny all knowledge of her outlandish accusations
Oct 13, 2011
Oct 13, 2011
First carrousel ride
Oct 13, 2011
Oct 12, 2011
Women need not consume
Oct 12, 2011
Oct 12, 2011
What do lobsters and cul-de-sacs have in common?
Oct 12, 2011
Oct 11, 2011
Our favorite video of all time
Oct 11, 2011
Oct 10, 2011
Tears of joy
Oct 10, 2011
Oct 10, 2011
It’s easy to be self-righteous and stupid when you’ve never known hunger
Oct 10, 2011
Oct 9, 2011
Everything I wrote before the age of 30 was terrible
Oct 9, 2011
Oct 9, 2011
Lunchbox notes for the ladies
Oct 9, 2011
Oct 7, 2011
Nervous
Oct 7, 2011
Oct 7, 2011
Boy learns that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father for the first time
Oct 7, 2011
Oct 6, 2011
The super cool 1987 version of myself
Oct 6, 2011
Oct 5, 2011
I understand why you think this is about you, but it’s probably not about you at all.
Oct 5, 2011
Oct 5, 2011
Our childhood revealed (and another goal achieved)
Oct 5, 2011
Oct 4, 2011
Time bomb
Oct 4, 2011
Oct 4, 2011
Whoopi Goldberg apparently just learned yesterday that the N-word is considered offensive to some people. She’s also apparently an idiot.
Oct 4, 2011
Oct 4, 2011
The moral high ground
Oct 4, 2011
Oct 3, 2011
A near-perfect assemblage of words to describe the fabulousness of roller derby
Oct 3, 2011
Oct 3, 2011
Naked donut run or embarrassing tattoo on your bottom?
Oct 3, 2011
Oct 2, 2011
Bittersweet
Oct 2, 2011
Oct 1, 2011
Resolution update: September 2011
Oct 1, 2011
Oct 1, 2011
Before getting married, ask yourself this:
Oct 1, 2011
Oct 1, 2011
Elmo
Oct 1, 2011
September 2011
Sep 30, 2011
Marcel Proust’s childhood sucked
Sep 30, 2011
Sep 30, 2011
Andy Rooney and I have similar thoughts on sleep
Sep 30, 2011
Sep 29, 2011
Not exactly potty training…
Sep 29, 2011
Sep 29, 2011
My solution to the soul-crushing nature of meetings
Sep 29, 2011
Sep 28, 2011
Male self-deception is a beautiful thing. Sincerely.
Sep 28, 2011
Sep 28, 2011
My new favorite Clara photo
Sep 28, 2011
Sep 27, 2011
The Moth and The Clowns: Save the dates
Sep 27, 2011
Sep 27, 2011
Most embarrassing golf shot ever
Sep 27, 2011
Sep 27, 2011
A bouquet of amusing words
Sep 27, 2011
Sep 26, 2011
Bumble-Ardy lives again
Sep 26, 2011
Sep 26, 2011
Are digital wedding invitations acceptable?
Sep 26, 2011
Sep 25, 2011
The curse of the hyper productive
Sep 25, 2011
Sep 25, 2011
Such joy!
Sep 25, 2011
Sep 24, 2011
Juggling?
Sep 24, 2011
Sep 24, 2011
Homework blues start early
Sep 24, 2011
Sep 23, 2011
I loved kickboxing. Kickboxing did not love me.
Sep 23, 2011
Sep 23, 2011
Cracked ribs, cracked shmibs
Sep 23, 2011
Sep 21, 2011
An addendum to my list of flaws and shortcomings
Sep 21, 2011
Sep 21, 2011
An acceptable alternative to everlasting life
Sep 21, 2011
Sep 20, 2011
Dinner and a fashion statement
Sep 20, 2011
Sep 20, 2011
Why we don’t own an iPad
Sep 20, 2011
Sep 19, 2011
Football in every direction
Sep 19, 2011
Sep 18, 2011
This is the best they could do?
Sep 18, 2011
Sep 18, 2011
Hopefully there’s more to his marketing strategy than this
Sep 18, 2011
Sep 17, 2011
Gay fraternal lovers?
Sep 17, 2011
Sep 17, 2011
Chew-chew-chew
Sep 17, 2011
Sep 16, 2011
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2011
Sep 16, 2011
Sep 16, 2011
Grocery stores and courthouses: Excellent places for first dates
Sep 16, 2011
Sep 15, 2011
Dodging sleep at an early age
Sep 15, 2011
Sep 14, 2011
Dinner will never be so fun again!
Sep 14, 2011
Sep 14, 2011
Writers can teach each other a lot, but not this.
Sep 14, 2011
Sep 14, 2011
I don’t agree with him, but I can respect his answer
Sep 14, 2011
Sep 13, 2011
Dickens and Dicks
Sep 13, 2011
Sep 13, 2011
Buttered side up, thank goodness
Sep 13, 2011
Sep 12, 2011
Heroes of 9/11 whose names should be better known
Sep 12, 2011
Sep 12, 2011
The complications of marrying a Jewish woman
Sep 12, 2011
Sep 11, 2011
Sunday morning epiphany
Sep 11, 2011
Sep 11, 2011
A teacher’s memory of 9/11
Sep 11, 2011
Sep 9, 2011
Not many people could make it through this chart
Sep 9, 2011
Sep 9, 2011
Tag me in, reality television stars! I'm ready to fight!
Sep 9, 2011
Sep 8, 2011
Stop complimenting students
Sep 8, 2011
Sep 7, 2011
Near death is a gift. If you survive, of course.
Sep 7, 2011
Sep 7, 2011
Watership Down's Hazel is a glorious but sadly unrealistic nonconformist
Sep 7, 2011
Sep 6, 2011
Your title sucks, and your ideas about food are sexist and condescending
Sep 6, 2011
Sep 6, 2011
Clothing adds at least five pounds.
Sep 6, 2011
Sep 5, 2011
Tilly and the Wall: Who needs a drummer when you have tap shoes?
Sep 5, 2011
Sep 5, 2011
Ready for fifth grade
Sep 5, 2011
Sep 4, 2011
Extreme teaching, including home invasion and theft
Sep 4, 2011
Sep 3, 2011
Kissing tiny feet
Sep 3, 2011
Sep 3, 2011
Everything dies. I get it.
Sep 3, 2011
Sep 2, 2011
Don’t trust a good name when it's too good.
Sep 2, 2011
Sep 2, 2011
When choosing a spouse, acceptance isn’t enough.
Sep 2, 2011
Sep 1, 2011
Making great use of our Hurricane Irene entrapment
Sep 1, 2011
Sep 1, 2011
Resolution update: August 2011
Sep 1, 2011
August 2011
Aug 31, 2011
Taking after Daddy
Aug 31, 2011
Aug 31, 2011
A new plan for dealing with the never-ending coffee clichés
Aug 31, 2011
Aug 30, 2011
Hurricane Irene on the tongue
Aug 30, 2011
Aug 30, 2011
Your words are doing more harm than good
Aug 30, 2011
Aug 29, 2011
No buyer’s remorse here.
Aug 29, 2011
Aug 29, 2011
Amorphous, blabbering blobs do not sell books: Learning to write physical description
Aug 29, 2011
Aug 29, 2011
Spitting in the eye of Hurricane Irene
Aug 29, 2011
Aug 28, 2011
We had some storm damage after all
Aug 28, 2011
Aug 28, 2011
One of these things are not like the other
Aug 28, 2011
Aug 28, 2011
The lesson: You can kill mothers, fathers, and children galore. But don’t ever kill the dog.
Aug 28, 2011
Aug 27, 2011
Convenience would be a shoe shine boy and a bidet. Not an unlocked door.
Aug 27, 2011
Aug 27, 2011
Feeling uncertain about my chest
Aug 27, 2011
Aug 26, 2011
The Wikipedia entry on "receptionist" is fascinating. Little did I know that it would lead me to the body of Christ.
Aug 26, 2011
Aug 26, 2011
Friends don’t let friends post creepy video messages on the Internet to women half their age
Aug 26, 2011
Aug 25, 2011
Kitchen disco!
Aug 25, 2011
Aug 25, 2011
Help me choose my column for McSweeney’s
Aug 25, 2011
Aug 24, 2011
What is your favorite number? Favorite color?
Aug 24, 2011
Aug 24, 2011
Is this sufficient visual evidence to determine a person’s IQ?
Aug 24, 2011
Aug 23, 2011
Stop counting words
Aug 23, 2011
Aug 23, 2011
Overwhelming evidence of insanity
Aug 23, 2011
Aug 22, 2011
TV can be as healthy as carrots and jumping jacks
Aug 22, 2011
Aug 22, 2011
The office jerk. Death by television. The curse of the agreeable worker. All good news for me.
Aug 22, 2011
Aug 22, 2011
Author Laurie Halse Anderson and I have eerily similar mindsets. Except I think the universe wants me dead.
Aug 22, 2011
Aug 21, 2011
I am a small and insignificant person by comparison
Aug 21, 2011
Aug 20, 2011
Please don’t taint our trashy brand name with your douchebaggery
Aug 20, 2011
Aug 20, 2011
Anne Hathaway rapping as Lil’ Wayne
Aug 20, 2011
Aug 19, 2011
“Mother may I, Mr. Brady?”
Aug 19, 2011
Aug 19, 2011
In need of a new theme song
Aug 19, 2011
Aug 19, 2011
Why lift weights and run when you can fuse with your gym towel?
Aug 19, 2011
Aug 18, 2011
An admittedly heated response about the notion that a librarian can't read Shakespeare
Aug 18, 2011
Aug 18, 2011
Everything’s wrong.
Aug 18, 2011
Aug 18, 2011
Wikipedia: I could read this stuff all day long
Aug 18, 2011
Aug 17, 2011
Protecting your KRAFT Macaroni & Cheese
Aug 17, 2011
Aug 17, 2011
“Nobody puts baby in the corner” changes ever-so-slightly with fatherhood
Aug 17, 2011
Aug 17, 2011
718 words on 13 words: A literary analysis and deconstruction of my daughter’s very first story.
Aug 17, 2011
Aug 16, 2011
My wife’s reaction to my latest idea was predicable and understandable.
Aug 16, 2011
Aug 16, 2011
Clara Dicks’s first original story
Aug 16, 2011
Aug 15, 2011
A messy ABC
Aug 15, 2011
Aug 15, 2011
What would you tell your pregnant self? My three suggestions.
Aug 15, 2011
Aug 14, 2011
You called me an idiot. You said I acted like a bully. You told me that I was cruel. I respond.
Aug 14, 2011
Aug 14, 2011
Authors should not meet their editors at baseball games with pee-stained shorts
Aug 14, 2011
Aug 13, 2011
A sequel to Something Missing: Martin Railsback, FBI tactical operations double agent
Aug 13, 2011
Aug 13, 2011
When an overly slow driver pulls to the side of the road to allow you to pass, even though you are driving the speed limit, what is a man to do? Here’s one idea:
Aug 13, 2011
Aug 12, 2011
The Clowns: One step closer to reality
Aug 12, 2011
Aug 12, 2011
If it’s important and it’s lacking, TEACH IT.
Aug 12, 2011
Aug 11, 2011
Is a bologna, cheese, and catsup sandwich reason enough to run away from home?
Aug 11, 2011
Aug 11, 2011
Weeping cat owners require segregation
Aug 11, 2011
Aug 10, 2011
Should schools stop releasing their honor rolls for publication in order to protect the feelings of students not included on the list?
Aug 10, 2011
Aug 10, 2011
How to deliver a wedding toast
Aug 10, 2011
Aug 9, 2011
The double-take instead of the long gaze
Aug 9, 2011
Aug 9, 2011
Two new jobs I’m looking to add to my collection of jobs: Double date companion and grave site visitor
Aug 9, 2011
Aug 8, 2011
Pebbles aren’t good enough for my little one
Aug 8, 2011
Aug 8, 2011
Disappointment can be entertaining when you aren’t the one being disappointed
Aug 8, 2011
Aug 8, 2011
One in five Americans smoke. Where the hell are they? And it would appear that Mad Men gets it very wrong when it comes to smoking.
Aug 8, 2011
Aug 7, 2011
The Girl Who Hated to Swing
Aug 7, 2011
Aug 7, 2011
You have to be having sex in order to choose your phone over sex. I know this sounds obvious, but apparently it’s not.
Aug 7, 2011
Aug 6, 2011
Simple pleasures
Aug 6, 2011
Aug 6, 2011
The most common and egregious of all leadership flaws
Aug 6, 2011
Aug 5, 2011
A new writer has taken the stage. Go forth and see what she has to say!
Aug 5, 2011
Aug 5, 2011
It is perfectly acceptable to question a teacher’s judgment in the case of a serial killer.
Aug 5, 2011
Aug 4, 2011
I see dead people. Occasionally. Usually in restaurants.
Aug 4, 2011
Aug 4, 2011
Childhood hunger strikes fail to initiate change but perhaps define a life
Aug 4, 2011
Aug 4, 2011
Ominous automobiles and probable getaway cars
Aug 4, 2011
Aug 3, 2011
A bunny and a super hero: A sordid tale of unlikely love
Aug 3, 2011
Aug 3, 2011
A convergence of fabulousness
Aug 3, 2011
Aug 3, 2011
The ones who fell out of the back of the pickup trucks are dead. Worse, they are forgotten.
Aug 3, 2011
Aug 2, 2011
Pretty and precious
Aug 2, 2011
Aug 2, 2011
Is being a woman like living in Shark Week all the time?
Aug 2, 2011
Aug 2, 2011
The Star Wars theme song. Sung in French. And that’s not actually the most frightening part.
Aug 2, 2011
Aug 1, 2011
Cat allowed. Daddy not.
Aug 1, 2011
Aug 1, 2011
My simple but effective solution to the idiots who text in the movie theater
Aug 1, 2011
July 2011
Jul 31, 2011
Three simple rules to guarantee a successful wedding
Jul 31, 2011
Jul 31, 2011
A homemade electric chair is probably overkill. Literally.
Jul 31, 2011
Jul 31, 2011
Resolution update: July 2011
Jul 31, 2011
Jul 30, 2011
Um… climate change is not real because the Moon has volcanoes, too. Right?
Jul 30, 2011
Jul 30, 2011
Who knew that erectile dysfunction could be so captivating and suspenseful?
Jul 30, 2011
Jul 30, 2011
The most looked-up words of 2011: How many do you know?
Jul 30, 2011
Jul 29, 2011
Most improbable moment in Hollywood history comes from the classic film The Goonies
Jul 29, 2011
Jul 29, 2011
Interviewing for Google: What would your answer to "the hard question" be?
Jul 29, 2011
Jul 28, 2011
Come to the Show!
Jul 28, 2011
Jul 28, 2011
A business arrangement involving stickers
Jul 28, 2011
Jul 27, 2011
An evening of challenging questions and fabulous gifts in Lebanon, CT
Jul 27, 2011
Jul 27, 2011
My daughter recognized me as an author for the first time. I'll never forget it.
Jul 27, 2011
Jul 27, 2011
I still support ferocity
Jul 27, 2011
Jul 26, 2011
A girl who takes care of her cat will surely take care of her elderly parents. Right?
Jul 26, 2011
Jul 26, 2011
McDonald’s makes Happy Meals healthier, regardless of The Daily Beast’s uncertainty over the matter
Jul 26, 2011
Jul 26, 2011
Rhinos and lions and left-handers, oh my!
Jul 26, 2011
Jul 25, 2011
Winnie the Pooh aborted. Too damn frightening.
Jul 25, 2011
Jul 25, 2011
Colorforms teach important life lessons about the limitations of caregivers and the importance of suppressing your feelings.
Jul 25, 2011
Jul 24, 2011
Chatting with your ex-wife at a football game or marrying your ex-wife’s first husband. Which is worse?
Jul 24, 2011
Jul 24, 2011
Excellent first impression
Jul 24, 2011
Jul 24, 2011
Respect yourself and shut up.
Jul 24, 2011
Jul 23, 2011
New business idea: Rorschach tee-shirts
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 23, 2011
St. John Eyre Rivers is a single-minded jackass, but I love him just the same
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 22, 2011
My Moth story (or as close an approximation of the story as I can muster)
Jul 22, 2011
Jul 22, 2011
Populating the bathroom with antiques and curiosities
Jul 22, 2011
Jul 21, 2011
A sign of tattoos to come?
Jul 21, 2011
Jul 21, 2011
Poor Jane Eyre. She’s been hungry for a whole 19 hours.
Jul 21, 2011
Jul 21, 2011
Not-so-secret secrets to sleep
Jul 21, 2011
Jul 20, 2011
Did you know that Jane Eyre is a superhero? Or perhaps a mutant? Or an alien? Or maybe even a werewolf? But with super powers nonetheless.
Jul 20, 2011
Jul 20, 2011
My obituary and eulogy instructions
Jul 20, 2011
Jul 19, 2011
Blue Stripy is my favorite pair of underwear. What’s yours?
Jul 19, 2011
Jul 19, 2011
The mystery of net carbs, the most redundant name in human history and inexplicable online gaming, all in a bottle of 4C iced tea
Jul 19, 2011
Jul 18, 2011
Harry Potter wants my wife
Jul 18, 2011
Jul 18, 2011
Unequal footing and a first peek into St. Martin’s Press
Jul 18, 2011
Jul 18, 2011
Elmo says, “Pick me! Pick me!”
Jul 18, 2011
Jul 17, 2011
I hate mulligans
Jul 17, 2011
Jul 17, 2011
Women stick together at every age
Jul 17, 2011
Jul 16, 2011
Are writers’ colonies good for writing or simply indulgent escape mechanisms for the undisciplined?
Jul 16, 2011
Jul 15, 2011
Public marriage proposal: FAIL
Jul 15, 2011
Jul 15, 2011
Black and invisible
Jul 15, 2011
Jul 14, 2011
My philosophy of parenting: Ferocity required
Jul 14, 2011
Jul 14, 2011
Teachers need to learn to be publicists, too.
Jul 14, 2011
Jul 13, 2011
Last night’s Moth audience, courtesy of Dan Kennedy
Jul 13, 2011
Jul 13, 2011
I won The Moth StorySlam last night, and I still can’t believe it.
Jul 13, 2011
Jul 12, 2011
My petty little slice of Facebook hell
Jul 12, 2011
Jul 12, 2011
Desperately seeing an Ocean’s 11 answer
Jul 12, 2011
Jul 11, 2011
Bachmann’s latest history lesson. This time on slavery.
Jul 11, 2011
Jul 11, 2011
Douchebags Make it Douchy For Non-Douchebags to Wear Watches
Jul 11, 2011
Jul 11, 2011
An archeological moment in the making
Jul 11, 2011
Jul 10, 2011
Dance party or deadly ambush?
Jul 10, 2011
Jul 10, 2011
If you are going to perpetrate a fraud, please don’t be stupid about it.
Jul 10, 2011
Jul 9, 2011
7 unexpected lessons learned during my first children’s book writing group meeting
Jul 9, 2011
Jul 9, 2011
Frisbee is still a challenge…
Jul 9, 2011
Jul 8, 2011
Rethinking my assault on the institution of coffee
Jul 8, 2011
Jul 8, 2011
7 perfectly good reasons why the use of a tanning booth is acceptable
Jul 8, 2011
Jul 8, 2011
Doing the impossible.
Jul 8, 2011
Jul 7, 2011
My personal assault on the institution of coffee
Jul 7, 2011
Jul 7, 2011
An end to their blasted chirping
Jul 7, 2011
Jul 7, 2011
Smothered by love
Jul 7, 2011
Jul 6, 2011
Redundant, and therefore stupid, ad copy.
Jul 6, 2011
Jul 6, 2011
Don't let your child move back home. Period.
Jul 6, 2011
Jul 6, 2011
I only enjoy reality television when it’s imported from Korea
Jul 6, 2011
Jul 5, 2011
Hands off my little girl, buster!
Jul 5, 2011
Jul 5, 2011
Check out my body. Regularly.
Jul 5, 2011
Jul 4, 2011
This movie poster might be better than the book and the film. And the movie is great.
Jul 4, 2011
Jul 4, 2011
Pancakes and a geometry lesson
Jul 4, 2011
Jul 3, 2011
Relax, lady. It’s a picture book and it’s funny.
Jul 3, 2011
Jul 3, 2011
Cheerio on board
Jul 3, 2011
Jul 2, 2011
Get a second job.
Jul 2, 2011
Jul 2, 2011
Girl at fence
Jul 2, 2011
Jul 1, 2011
I can make even the most hardened FBI agent crazy
Jul 1, 2011
Jul 1, 2011
Resolution update: June 2011
Jul 1, 2011
June 2011
Jun 30, 2011
Revising seventeenth century essayists for the better
Jun 30, 2011
Jun 30, 2011
Our own little sweatshop
Jun 30, 2011
Jun 30, 2011
Once is fine. But this is a pattern of stupidity.
Jun 30, 2011
Jun 29, 2011
Unforgettable duet
Jun 29, 2011
Jun 29, 2011
The world is a strange, strange place
Jun 29, 2011
Jun 28, 2011
Look! Another politician can’t simply admit to making a historical mistake.
Jun 28, 2011
Jun 28, 2011
I walk like a duck. And perhaps it’s how I should be playing golf, too. And maybe I should just quit.
Jun 28, 2011
Jun 28, 2011
Five rules to guarantee a successful the public marriage proposal
Jun 28, 2011
Jun 27, 2011
The stupidest simile in the whole wide world
Jun 27, 2011
Jun 27, 2011
The celebratory graduation bedsheet has gone too far
Jun 27, 2011
Jun 26, 2011
Blessed innocence
Jun 26, 2011
Jun 26, 2011
Greatest turnaround of all-time
Jun 26, 2011
Jun 25, 2011
What not to wear
Jun 25, 2011
Jun 25, 2011
How much television do you watch?
Jun 25, 2011
Jun 24, 2011
Should my students be allowed to make fun of me online?
Jun 24, 2011
Jun 24, 2011
Stop writing me off
Jun 24, 2011
Jun 23, 2011
My worst teaching mistake ever
Jun 23, 2011
Jun 23, 2011
A clever manipulation of bathroom reading material
Jun 23, 2011
Jun 22, 2011
Perhaps the Girl Scouts don’t need me after all
Jun 22, 2011
Jun 22, 2011
Sucks to be a Sprite drinker
Jun 22, 2011
Jun 21, 2011
General maintenance required
Jun 21, 2011
Jun 21, 2011
Singular talent absent opportunity
Jun 21, 2011
Jun 20, 2011
This hurts my heart
Jun 20, 2011
Jun 20, 2011
Father’s Day 2011
Jun 20, 2011
Jun 19, 2011
Three new Father’s Day laws
Jun 19, 2011
Jun 19, 2011
Father’s Day is perfectly placed on the calendar
Jun 19, 2011
Jun 18, 2011
Bugaboo is stupid. Uppababy rules. I’m writing about baby strollers. The world must be coming to an end.
Jun 18, 2011
Jun 17, 2011
Lions should not be allowed to pretend to eat little children
Jun 17, 2011
Jun 17, 2011
Overreacting to a little pee
Jun 17, 2011
Jun 16, 2011
The people who will die first in a zombie apocalypse
Jun 16, 2011
Jun 16, 2011
The Bruins win! It’s kind of depressing.
Jun 16, 2011
Jun 14, 2011
Picture equals words
Jun 14, 2011
Jun 14, 2011
Pure genius!
Jun 14, 2011
Jun 14, 2011
Three lessons learned from Dicks
Jun 14, 2011
Jun 13, 2011
It’s not the song (which is great), but the time and station that matter most
Jun 13, 2011
Jun 13, 2011
Cowardly punks deserve to lose the NBA championship
Jun 13, 2011
Jun 13, 2011
The letter E and the letter F
Jun 13, 2011
Jun 12, 2011
“A friend in need is a friend indeed” is more complicated than it appears.
Jun 12, 2011
Jun 12, 2011
More problems with Dicks
Jun 12, 2011
Jun 11, 2011
My single statement
Jun 11, 2011
Jun 11, 2011
New favorite photos
Jun 11, 2011
Jun 10, 2011
Avoiding trouble through clever wordplay
Jun 10, 2011
Jun 10, 2011
The rules of golf: Remove shrapnel from the course, take cover during bombing runs and take a free drop if your ball is destroyed by enemy action
Jun 10, 2011
Jun 9, 2011
Not everything about Curious George is good.
Jun 9, 2011
Jun 9, 2011
Generation gap
Jun 9, 2011
Jun 8, 2011
A lot of great news, but the vomit trumps it all
Jun 8, 2011
Jun 8, 2011
Jon Stewart read my blog and stole my bit.
Jun 8, 2011
Jun 8, 2011
Please let these be real. Please let these be real.
Jun 8, 2011
Jun 7, 2011
Sadly, no ducks or deer but lots of old people
Jun 7, 2011
Jun 7, 2011
An awkward moment involving a teenage girl, a Dixie cup, pee and me
Jun 7, 2011
Jun 7, 2011
Three movies in three days
Jun 7, 2011
Jun 6, 2011
Too cool for school
Jun 6, 2011
Jun 6, 2011
Sarah Palin teaches 5 important life lessons
Jun 6, 2011
Jun 5, 2011
Mind is playing tricks on me. On purpose.
Jun 5, 2011
Jun 4, 2011
Genius or insanity
Jun 4, 2011
Jun 4, 2011
A serious lack of air pressure
Jun 4, 2011
Jun 3, 2011
The Moth: Help me tell my story
Jun 3, 2011
Jun 2, 2011
Shame on you, humanity
Jun 2, 2011
Jun 2, 2011
My life trajectory in Sesame Street terms
Jun 2, 2011
Jun 1, 2011
Staying busy instead of sleeping
Jun 1, 2011
Jun 1, 2011
Old school with a fever
Jun 1, 2011
Jun 1, 2011
Singular and centered
Jun 1, 2011
May 2011
May 31, 2011
Resolution update: May 2011
May 31, 2011
May 31, 2011
Disappointed that billions haven’t died?
May 31, 2011
May 31, 2011
Super Grover playing Saint Peter?
May 31, 2011
May 30, 2011
Serious daddy fail
May 30, 2011
May 30, 2011
Dishonoring the dead with stupidity
May 30, 2011
May 30, 2011
Your sense of smell or your cell phone?
May 30, 2011
May 29, 2011
Angry, hilarious outbursts
May 29, 2011
May 29, 2011
Chasing fire engines
May 29, 2011
May 28, 2011
Is downhill downhill or downhill?
May 28, 2011
May 28, 2011
How to be pretty
May 28, 2011
May 27, 2011
Me? Or a muzzled version of me?
May 27, 2011
May 27, 2011
Why today's video games suck
May 27, 2011
May 26, 2011
Introducing Matthew Green
May 26, 2011
May 26, 2011
The Rapture. Part II.
May 26, 2011
May 25, 2011
Explanation at last
May 25, 2011
May 25, 2011
The Author's Prayer
May 25, 2011
May 24, 2011
I have never been treated by an OB/GYN but I have an opinion on the subject nonetheless
May 24, 2011
May 24, 2011
Unacceptable platitude #3: “That’s your opinion.”
May 24, 2011
May 23, 2011
Raptured!
May 23, 2011
May 23, 2011
Ice cream for dinner!
May 23, 2011
May 22, 2011
Death to the elephants
May 22, 2011
May 21, 2011
Unprofitable near-death experiences
May 21, 2011
May 20, 2011
Spared his life
May 20, 2011
May 20, 2011
Is this version any less likely?
May 20, 2011
May 20, 2011
I couldn’t have said it any better, and that makes me so angry
May 20, 2011
May 20, 2011
Bringing the May 21 rapture to life!
May 20, 2011
May 19, 2011
Our new favorite photograph
May 19, 2011
May 19, 2011
Unacceptable platitude #2: “Nobody’s perfect.”
May 19, 2011
May 19, 2011
My new hero and heroine
May 19, 2011
May 18, 2011
Unacceptable platitude #1: “At least I admit my flaws.”
May 18, 2011
May 18, 2011
Be careful for the big, fast choo-choo train
May 18, 2011
May 17, 2011
X marks the spot?
May 17, 2011
May 17, 2011
Puddle jumping
May 17, 2011
May 17, 2011
Not the best tribute to firefighters
May 17, 2011
May 16, 2011
The damning and the damned
May 16, 2011
May 16, 2011
I wished minor injury on my daughter. Am I a bad father?
May 16, 2011
May 15, 2011
The single redeeming moment from a classically bad 1980’s sitcom
May 15, 2011
May 15, 2011
Hillary Clinton is sexually suggestive?
May 15, 2011
May 14, 2011
June 25: Be there.
May 14, 2011
May 14, 2011
No nightmares. Just swinish jurisprudence.
May 14, 2011
May 13, 2011
Cigarettes and corn dogs make me feel great
May 13, 2011
May 13, 2011
Bathroom sculpture
May 13, 2011
May 12, 2011
Her very own sidekick! She must be stopped!
May 12, 2011
May 12, 2011
But I’ll take this, too.
May 12, 2011
May 11, 2011
I want this real, real bad.
May 11, 2011
May 11, 2011
This list totally sucks
May 11, 2011
May 11, 2011
Daytime television at its best
May 11, 2011
May 10, 2011
Matthew Dicks: Under arrest
May 10, 2011
May 10, 2011
The rejection of a nickname should be a red flag
May 10, 2011
May 10, 2011
Lessons from Irving and Franzen
May 10, 2011
May 9, 2011
Creative, cruel and clever
May 9, 2011
May 9, 2011
Kids make me sound stupid
May 9, 2011
May 9, 2011
It's never enough.
May 9, 2011
May 8, 2011
Not a happy day
May 8, 2011
May 8, 2011
Significant fringe benefits
May 8, 2011
May 8, 2011
New favorites
May 8, 2011
May 7, 2011
"Nice guy" is the kiss of death
May 7, 2011
May 7, 2011
And the winner is?
May 7, 2011
May 6, 2011
There is only one appropriate and respectful time to host a toddler’s birthday party and to say otherwise is just stupid and poopy
May 6, 2011
May 6, 2011
You can celebrate Bin Laden’s death, but only if your celebration conforms to the celebratory bell curve
May 6, 2011
May 5, 2011
4 truths about sneakers
May 5, 2011
May 5, 2011
Too much information prior to peeing
May 5, 2011
May 4, 2011
I have failed as a teacher
May 4, 2011
May 4, 2011
All My Children and my mom
May 4, 2011
May 3, 2011
Does knowing the author make the book better?
May 3, 2011
May 3, 2011
Resolution update: April 2011
May 3, 2011
May 2, 2011
No sleep for the most responsible
May 2, 2011
May 2, 2011
Help. My wife might be drinking carpet cleaner.
May 2, 2011
May 1, 2011
If you can’t spell, you look like a moron. And you make other people look like morons, too.
May 1, 2011
May 1, 2011
Top 10 moments from the Mommy convention
May 1, 2011
April 2011
Apr 30, 2011
Michael Scott’s final words deserved to be heard
Apr 30, 2011
Apr 30, 2011
Not the friends I want
Apr 30, 2011
Apr 29, 2011
Henry Blake and Michael Scott: Thankfully not as intertwined as I (and many others) had feared
Apr 29, 2011
Apr 29, 2011
The Facebook like button gender gap
Apr 29, 2011
Apr 28, 2011
Devil on the rise
Apr 28, 2011
Apr 28, 2011
McDonald’s and Charlie Sheen would be bad titles, too
Apr 28, 2011
Apr 27, 2011
This is how moms want to spend their weekend?
Apr 27, 2011
Apr 27, 2011
A proposal in an author’s acknowledgements? How do I top this one?
Apr 27, 2011
Apr 26, 2011
No exaggeration
Apr 26, 2011
Apr 26, 2011
If only they were real…
Apr 26, 2011
Apr 26, 2011
Professional best man for hire
Apr 26, 2011
Apr 25, 2011
Super Grover to the rescue
Apr 25, 2011
Apr 25, 2011
Can the wisdom of the near-death experience be passed on without the experience itself?
Apr 25, 2011
Apr 25, 2011
Thanks you, Laura Numeroff and Felicia Bond, for saving me from my own stupidity
Apr 25, 2011
Apr 24, 2011
Subtly ignored
Apr 24, 2011
Apr 24, 2011
Top 10 post-wedding thoughts
Apr 24, 2011
Apr 23, 2011
You made that look easy, George. Well played, sir.
Apr 23, 2011
Apr 23, 2011
You are probably a better judge of “interesting or unusual” than me
Apr 23, 2011
Apr 23, 2011
Full contact yoga?
Apr 23, 2011
Apr 22, 2011
Best book club ever
Apr 22, 2011
Apr 22, 2011
Shut up, Teacher Man.
Apr 22, 2011
Apr 22, 2011
Titanic under the big top
Apr 22, 2011
Apr 21, 2011
Han Solo still rules. Even if he is a murderer.
Apr 21, 2011
Apr 21, 2011
My talk included wishing for the death of an elderly woman and the apparent arrival of her ghost
Apr 21, 2011
Apr 21, 2011
My first date/arranged marriage
Apr 21, 2011
Apr 20, 2011
Directions damaging my ego
Apr 20, 2011
Apr 20, 2011
Is the absence of women writers in late night comedy a result of sexism or simply female preference?
Apr 20, 2011
Apr 19, 2011
I don’t care about stuff.
Apr 19, 2011
Apr 18, 2011
The definition of self-indulgence
Apr 18, 2011
Apr 18, 2011
My ugly golf swing
Apr 18, 2011
Apr 17, 2011
Feminine hygiene products meet SOMETHING MISSING
Apr 17, 2011
Apr 17, 2011
Plastic beats paper
Apr 17, 2011
Apr 17, 2011
Tough beyond measure
Apr 17, 2011
Apr 16, 2011
Wouldn’t you rather watch me clip my toenails?
Apr 16, 2011
Apr 16, 2011
A dramatic reading of Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook
Apr 16, 2011
Apr 15, 2011
Killer tornados not OK
Apr 15, 2011
Apr 15, 2011
I do not understand teenagers who fail to rebel
Apr 15, 2011
Apr 14, 2011
In defense of revision
Apr 14, 2011
Apr 14, 2011
Visual representation of a specific human emotion
Apr 14, 2011
Apr 13, 2011
Defending my biography
Apr 13, 2011
Apr 13, 2011
Don’t upset the French.
Apr 13, 2011
Apr 12, 2011
Spring has sprung
Apr 12, 2011
Apr 12, 2011
Pugnacious, happily-married Franklin-like contemporary of Jennifer Egan
Apr 12, 2011
Apr 11, 2011
No limits on royalty. Or milk.
Apr 11, 2011
Apr 11, 2011
First time in history that “Cleanest teeth” isn’t so great
Apr 11, 2011
Apr 10, 2011
Totally hitting on me
Apr 10, 2011
Apr 10, 2011
Top 10 ideas about books
Apr 10, 2011
Apr 9, 2011
Joy in other’s unfortunate desire to sleep
Apr 9, 2011
Apr 9, 2011
Apology conundrum
Apr 9, 2011
Apr 8, 2011
I don’t know how to explain this to my daughter either
Apr 8, 2011
Apr 8, 2011
The real end to Dead Poet’s Society
Apr 8, 2011
Apr 7, 2011
Enough with this cliché
Apr 7, 2011
Apr 7, 2011
The emailed thank you note: The sign of an advanced civilization
Apr 7, 2011
Apr 6, 2011
Seriously?
Apr 6, 2011
Apr 6, 2011
I have a new job.
Apr 6, 2011
Apr 5, 2011
Unfaithful unicorn with a mix tape
Apr 5, 2011
Apr 5, 2011
Assigning my students new (and sometimes permanent) names
Apr 5, 2011
Apr 5, 2011
I know far too much about The Land of the Lost
Apr 5, 2011
Apr 4, 2011
Who loves Elmo?
Apr 4, 2011
Apr 4, 2011
Great accomplishments in the trenches
Apr 4, 2011
Apr 3, 2011
Resolution update: March 2011
Apr 3, 2011
Apr 3, 2011
Cheers
Apr 3, 2011
Apr 3, 2011
My first and only earthquake
Apr 3, 2011
Apr 2, 2011
New bathroom amenities
Apr 2, 2011
Apr 2, 2011
CNN reads the Internet in poorly constructed segments
Apr 2, 2011
Apr 1, 2011
The ability to make fun of oneself is a sign of great intellect.
Apr 1, 2011
Apr 1, 2011
Ice cream dinner
Apr 1, 2011
March 2011
Mar 31, 2011
Swallowing the apology
Mar 31, 2011
Mar 31, 2011
Great moments in academia #3
Mar 31, 2011
Mar 30, 2011
The changing faces of Matthew Dicks
Mar 30, 2011
Mar 30, 2011
Hug a teacher. Or at least send a note of thanks.
Mar 30, 2011
Mar 30, 2011
Lemmings unwillingly launched to the sea
Mar 30, 2011
Mar 29, 2011
Know thyself, or just read what festival organizers have to say about you instead
Mar 29, 2011
Mar 29, 2011
One of those annoying “My daughter is perfection” posts. But the video is damn cute.
Mar 29, 2011
Mar 29, 2011
Movies that are better than the book: Part 2
Mar 29, 2011
Mar 28, 2011
Waking the dead with a Datsun B-210
Mar 28, 2011
Mar 28, 2011
Movies that are better than the book
Mar 28, 2011
Mar 27, 2011
Ousted zebra
Mar 27, 2011
Mar 27, 2011
One-time Ronald McDonald Children’s Charities volunteer imposter
Mar 27, 2011
Mar 27, 2011
A perfect indicator of how you spent your childhood
Mar 27, 2011
Mar 26, 2011
Throw that atheist down the stairs
Mar 26, 2011
Mar 26, 2011
The latest
Mar 26, 2011
Mar 25, 2011
We never got to the war part of the Civil War
Mar 25, 2011
Mar 24, 2011
The dead writing about the dead
Mar 24, 2011
Mar 24, 2011
I’m not a Past Commander, but I’ve got some pin-worthy material of my own
Mar 24, 2011
Mar 23, 2011
Post traumatic growth: Making bad guys more lovable and appreciated
Mar 23, 2011
Mar 23, 2011
How to properly eat a Cadbury Crème Egg
Mar 23, 2011
Mar 22, 2011
Our little devil
Mar 22, 2011
Mar 22, 2011
But can I sing the N-word?
Mar 22, 2011
Mar 21, 2011
All intents and purposes. And intensive purposes.
Mar 21, 2011
Mar 21, 2011
I get irradiated by my wife every night.
Mar 21, 2011
Mar 20, 2011
MATTHEW DICKS' RULES OF ALL DRINKING STORIES
Mar 20, 2011
Mar 20, 2011
Cancellation celebration
Mar 20, 2011
Mar 20, 2011
Toddler manipulation
Mar 20, 2011
Mar 19, 2011
What is my girl thinking?
Mar 19, 2011
Mar 19, 2011
The French reverse course after 25 years. Proof that “Better late than never” is not always true.
Mar 19, 2011
Mar 19, 2011
Disabling a natural phenomenon 15,000 years in the making
Mar 19, 2011
Mar 18, 2011
Only Ann Coulter could make Bill O’Reilly sound incredibly reasonable
Mar 18, 2011
Mar 18, 2011
Should the words said by a character in a work of fiction be attributed to the author?
Mar 18, 2011
Mar 18, 2011
Deserving of death
Mar 18, 2011
Mar 17, 2011
Daddy and a writer in that order
Mar 17, 2011
Mar 17, 2011
This parenting stuff is easy
Mar 17, 2011
Mar 16, 2011
Undies in the mail
Mar 16, 2011
Mar 16, 2011
Exclamation points say so much about a person
Mar 16, 2011
Mar 15, 2011
Broken baby
Mar 15, 2011
Mar 15, 2011
My wife will just about anything to expand my daughter’s palate
Mar 15, 2011
Mar 15, 2011
Her first haircut will be a doozy
Mar 15, 2011
Mar 14, 2011
Gucci what?
Mar 14, 2011
Mar 14, 2011
Should decisions made twenty years ago impact employment today? I’m undecided.
Mar 14, 2011
Mar 13, 2011
Anti-dragon sentiment has dissipated considerably
Mar 13, 2011
Mar 12, 2011
Our mathematical genius
Mar 12, 2011
Mar 12, 2011
How far does your field of expertise actually stretch?
Mar 12, 2011
Mar 12, 2011
Always great or recently great?
Mar 12, 2011
Mar 11, 2011
Creative and frugal
Mar 11, 2011
Mar 11, 2011
The “I told you so” calendar
Mar 11, 2011
Mar 10, 2011
Quoted on Twitter, which is only slightly less prestigious than Bartlett’s Book of Familiar Quotations
Mar 10, 2011
Mar 10, 2011
Red Dawn Moments
Mar 10, 2011
Mar 9, 2011
Love this photo
Mar 9, 2011
Mar 9, 2011
A contest! With prizes!
Mar 9, 2011
Mar 9, 2011
The Hills Have Eyes FOR YOU.
Mar 9, 2011
Mar 8, 2011
Must avoid a takeover
Mar 8, 2011
Mar 8, 2011
Proverb 1.1
Mar 8, 2011
Mar 8, 2011
Book news, including MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND
Mar 8, 2011
Mar 7, 2011
Back-to-back books
Mar 7, 2011
Mar 7, 2011
I get much, much better with age
Mar 7, 2011
Mar 6, 2011
I can’t speak Spanish even though I opted for Spanish
Mar 6, 2011
Mar 6, 2011
Be little again: The best prayer
Mar 6, 2011
Mar 5, 2011
It wasn’t as good as I remembered
Mar 5, 2011
Mar 5, 2011
The Legend of Billie Jean: Fingers crossed it’s as good as I remember.
Mar 5, 2011
Mar 5, 2011
Proverb 1.2
Mar 5, 2011
Mar 5, 2011
Designed to ruin my day
Mar 5, 2011
Mar 5, 2011
Mugging it up
Mar 5, 2011
Mar 4, 2011
Not a fan of dragons
Mar 4, 2011
Mar 4, 2011
I found my twin brother
Mar 4, 2011
Mar 3, 2011
Growing meat
Mar 3, 2011
Mar 3, 2011
From the book of “No duh”
Mar 3, 2011
Mar 3, 2011
Three unprecedented requests
Mar 3, 2011
Mar 2, 2011
She’s not happy.
Mar 2, 2011
Mar 2, 2011
Bunking and “Right now!” Ever heard of them before?
Mar 2, 2011
Mar 2, 2011
Congratulations, sis!
Mar 2, 2011
Mar 1, 2011
Naked life coaching?
Mar 1, 2011
Mar 1, 2011
At last
Mar 1, 2011
Mar 1, 2011
Poetry collection continued
Mar 1, 2011
Mar 1, 2011
Zelda fangirl
Mar 1, 2011
February 2011
Feb 28, 2011
Freeze
Feb 28, 2011
Feb 28, 2011
Which honk is the right honk?
Feb 28, 2011
Feb 28, 2011
My stock tip of the day
Feb 28, 2011
Feb 27, 2011
A literary reference fifteen years in the making
Feb 27, 2011
Feb 27, 2011
Sexist pig ladies
Feb 27, 2011
Feb 27, 2011
My future poetry collection begins here
Feb 27, 2011
Feb 26, 2011
In-law visitation
Feb 26, 2011
Feb 26, 2011
Temper your parental and marital advice based upon the bell curve
Feb 26, 2011
Feb 26, 2011
Imperfect beauty
Feb 26, 2011
Feb 25, 2011
Talk to your kids
Feb 25, 2011
Feb 25, 2011
I was naked onstage
Feb 25, 2011
Feb 24, 2011
Nothing like an ominous hammer cock
Feb 24, 2011
Feb 24, 2011
Dating in Stop & Shop
Feb 24, 2011
Feb 23, 2011
US Weekly a mystery to me
Feb 23, 2011
Feb 23, 2011
I can’t die at my desk unnoticed. Oh well.
Feb 23, 2011
Feb 22, 2011
When your country is one thousand years old, things can get quite complicated
Feb 22, 2011
Feb 22, 2011
Techno-toddler
Feb 22, 2011
Feb 22, 2011
This ain’t my childhood library
Feb 22, 2011
Feb 21, 2011
My house is a veritable palace
Feb 21, 2011
Feb 21, 2011
Every boy loves Nessie
Feb 21, 2011
Feb 20, 2011
I want this guy on my team
Feb 20, 2011
Feb 20, 2011
Obama and Dicks simpatico
Feb 20, 2011
Feb 20, 2011
ESPN was listening
Feb 20, 2011
Feb 20, 2011
Finally. A solution.
Feb 20, 2011
Feb 19, 2011
Should boys and girls be allowed to compete against one another in high school wrestling? Of course. Not. Maybe. I don’t know.
Feb 19, 2011
Feb 19, 2011
ESPN fail: A simple design decision gone awry
Feb 19, 2011
Feb 19, 2011
Brilliant restroom redesign
Feb 19, 2011
Feb 18, 2011
The survivors are more menacing than the zombies
Feb 18, 2011
Feb 18, 2011
THIS COULD HAPPEN, TOM.
Feb 18, 2011
Feb 17, 2011
I wish I had thought of this first
Feb 17, 2011
Feb 17, 2011
Best headline ever
Feb 17, 2011
Feb 16, 2011
Oh yes.
Feb 16, 2011
Feb 16, 2011
Final birthday present
Feb 16, 2011
Feb 16, 2011
An ineffectual glare and an aimless finger point
Feb 16, 2011
Feb 15, 2011
Birthdays without Mom are not quite the same anymore
Feb 15, 2011
Feb 15, 2011
Typical fortieth birthday gifts?
Feb 15, 2011
Feb 15, 2011
An education to most certainly brag about
Feb 15, 2011
Feb 14, 2011
Sexy rumpus. I like that.
Feb 14, 2011
Feb 14, 2011
Not cool. I think. Actually, maybe it’s very cool.
Feb 14, 2011
Feb 14, 2011
Ten people who hate Valentines Day and should be avoided at all costs
Feb 14, 2011
Feb 13, 2011
Three decisions that simplified my life
Feb 13, 2011
Feb 13, 2011
Game show cruelty
Feb 13, 2011
Feb 13, 2011
Sometimes the obvious should be obvious
Feb 13, 2011
Feb 12, 2011
I punched a guy in the gut. Maybe a little lower than the gut.
Feb 12, 2011
Feb 12, 2011
Not every honor is an honor
Feb 12, 2011
Feb 11, 2011
Crazy knows what crazy does
Feb 11, 2011
Feb 11, 2011
Sometimes you’re wrong, and sometimes you’re REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WRONG.
Feb 11, 2011
Feb 10, 2011
Your attempt at deflection simply reiterates your original ignorance, Mrs. Palin.
Feb 10, 2011
Feb 10, 2011
Serious customers
Feb 10, 2011
Feb 9, 2011
Improving Ice Road Truckers
Feb 9, 2011
Feb 9, 2011
Slash gets picky at the wrong time
Feb 9, 2011
Feb 8, 2011
Goodbye Apple?
Feb 8, 2011
Feb 8, 2011
I like Homer’s version better
Feb 8, 2011
Feb 8, 2011
I try not to say "Bless you." My daughter will probably think I'm a lunatic.
Feb 8, 2011
Feb 7, 2011
A few random quandaries
Feb 7, 2011
Feb 7, 2011
King Phillip was the best we could do?
Feb 7, 2011
Feb 6, 2011
So many misconceptions
Feb 6, 2011
Feb 6, 2011
I’m a grown man and I still want to peek into the girl’s locker room. But not for the reasons you might be imagining.
Feb 6, 2011
Feb 5, 2011
Iowa goes the way of the bigots
Feb 5, 2011
Feb 5, 2011
It's not that hard and I am not a liar (nor am I suffering from cognitive dissonance)
Feb 5, 2011
Feb 5, 2011
Not a phone but very cute
Feb 5, 2011
Feb 4, 2011
I was suspended for inciting riot upon myself, but it turns out that this was not a legal suspension
Feb 4, 2011
Feb 4, 2011
As a result of this research, I intend to spend hour upon hour playing video games with my daughter
Feb 4, 2011
Feb 3, 2011
I’m jealous.
Feb 3, 2011
Feb 3, 2011
More information about road kill than you will ever want or need
Feb 3, 2011
Feb 3, 2011
Television wasteland
Feb 3, 2011
Feb 2, 2011
A possible Valentine’s Day treat
Feb 2, 2011
Feb 2, 2011
The headline should read: 99-year old Japanese poet finally gets off her ass
Feb 2, 2011
Feb 1, 2011
Resolution update: January 2011
Feb 1, 2011
Feb 1, 2011
Top Gun and Homer Simpson? What’s next?
Feb 1, 2011
Feb 1, 2011
Just because women choose not to contribute to the assemblage of all human knowledge does not make the medium any less egalitarian
Feb 1, 2011
Feb 1, 2011
Inexplicable and clearly disturbed palate runs in the family
Feb 1, 2011
January 2011
Jan 31, 2011
Why didn’t someone show me before I went to college?
Jan 31, 2011
Jan 31, 2011
You say yes. I say no. But do I really mean no?
Jan 31, 2011
Jan 30, 2011
No silly exercises from this life coach
Jan 30, 2011
Jan 30, 2011
The enemy within
Jan 30, 2011
Jan 30, 2011
Overslept
Jan 30, 2011
Jan 29, 2011
It does not stand for quintessential
Jan 29, 2011
Jan 29, 2011
I want my $25,000 back, damn it.
Jan 29, 2011
Jan 28, 2011
Intelligentsia
Jan 28, 2011
Jan 28, 2011
A joyous response to the misery of others
Jan 28, 2011
Jan 27, 2011
Bicycle?
Jan 27, 2011
Jan 27, 2011
I am at a loss for words. I simply cannot believe what I have just seen.
Jan 27, 2011
Jan 27, 2011
You hurt my feelings. I’m taking my toys and going home.
Jan 27, 2011
Jan 26, 2011
Big Love is too much love
Jan 26, 2011
Jan 26, 2011
I am the father of a two-year old.
Jan 26, 2011
Jan 26, 2011
Maybe not a rapist, but the guy can’t even get a date
Jan 26, 2011
Jan 25, 2011
Assigned seating sucks
Jan 25, 2011
Jan 25, 2011
I don’t know guys this cool
Jan 25, 2011
Jan 24, 2011
Huh?
Jan 24, 2011
Jan 24, 2011
My daughter may be in communication with aliens
Jan 24, 2011
Jan 23, 2011
Sometimes she’s a little too witty
Jan 23, 2011
Jan 23, 2011
The best kind of consolation
Jan 23, 2011
Jan 22, 2011
Snow day
Jan 22, 2011
Jan 22, 2011
Not sure how to feel about this.
Jan 22, 2011
Jan 21, 2011
There is a big difference between girl-on-girl and elephant-on-girl
Jan 21, 2011
Jan 21, 2011
Worst attempt to legitimize an already bizarre business model
Jan 21, 2011
Jan 20, 2011
The mindless hum of mindless agreement
Jan 20, 2011
Jan 20, 2011
Do she not speak good on purpose?
Jan 20, 2011
Jan 20, 2011
Not booing. Just cheering.
Jan 20, 2011
Jan 19, 2011
He needs more room in the crotch
Jan 19, 2011
Jan 19, 2011
Social stupidity cannot be covered up by the violin
Jan 19, 2011
Jan 18, 2011
Worst day
Jan 18, 2011
Jan 18, 2011
5 bits of podcasting advice from a professional podcast listener
Jan 18, 2011
Jan 18, 2011
Mismatched but perfect
Jan 18, 2011
Jan 17, 2011
Mammoths, octopi and a whole bunch of spoons
Jan 17, 2011
Jan 17, 2011
6 reasons for a lack of motivation
Jan 17, 2011
Jan 17, 2011
How Swedish Fish got their name
Jan 17, 2011
Jan 16, 2011
We might need to back off the praise a bit
Jan 16, 2011
Jan 16, 2011
I cannot do business with someone who exhibits such questionable decision making
Jan 16, 2011
Jan 15, 2011
Teddy bear killers
Jan 15, 2011
Jan 15, 2011
The original Venn diagram is the best Venn diagram
Jan 15, 2011
Jan 14, 2011
A demanding girl
Jan 14, 2011
Jan 14, 2011
A day late, a couple of marbles short
Jan 14, 2011
Jan 13, 2011
A call to arms
Jan 13, 2011
Jan 13, 2011
Misunderstood palate
Jan 13, 2011
Jan 12, 2011
Only idiots on the roads
Jan 12, 2011
Jan 12, 2011
Arizona shooting recap
Jan 12, 2011
Jan 12, 2011
Old school verbiage in new school scenarios
Jan 12, 2011
Jan 11, 2011
Susan Patricia McKenna: 1950-2007
Jan 11, 2011
Jan 11, 2011
One definition too many
Jan 11, 2011
Jan 11, 2011
How much does Clara love Daddy?
Jan 11, 2011
Jan 11, 2011
She reappeared with this.
Jan 11, 2011
Jan 10, 2011
Jumper-talker-downer for hire
Jan 10, 2011
Jan 10, 2011
Fear not the Christmas tree, for your methods of indoctrination are far more powerful than tinsel and colored lights.
Jan 10, 2011
Jan 9, 2011
iCarly trumps Robert Frost and Val Kilmer
Jan 9, 2011
Jan 9, 2011
A land of ice cream and death
Jan 9, 2011
Jan 8, 2011
So stupid it wouldn’t make for bad fiction
Jan 8, 2011
Jan 8, 2011
Unhappy
Jan 8, 2011
Jan 8, 2011
Initial assessment of Glee
Jan 8, 2011
Jan 7, 2011
The people who didn’t kill dogs are good, too.
Jan 7, 2011
Jan 7, 2011
Stupidity abounds in the NFL
Jan 7, 2011
Jan 7, 2011
Home for the day
Jan 7, 2011
Jan 6, 2011
I have apparently married a rock star.
Jan 6, 2011
Jan 6, 2011
Too much is worse than too little
Jan 6, 2011
Jan 5, 2011
More Oliver oddities
Jan 5, 2011
Jan 5, 2011
A bunch wasn’t enough?
Jan 5, 2011
Jan 5, 2011
Vampire bats and me
Jan 5, 2011
Jan 4, 2011
Snob magazine
Jan 4, 2011
Jan 4, 2011
Post-holiday detritus
Jan 4, 2011
Jan 3, 2011
Boddah and Budo
Jan 3, 2011
Jan 3, 2011
She’s got rhythm but decidedly less pitch
Jan 3, 2011
Jan 2, 2011
Recent quotes, as selected by a reader
Jan 2, 2011
Jan 2, 2011
Probably needed a second opinion
Jan 2, 2011
Jan 1, 2011
New Year’s Resolutions: 2011
Jan 1, 2011
December 2010
Dec 31, 2010
Resolution update: 2010 in review
Dec 31, 2010
Dec 31, 2010
Three very different films
Dec 31, 2010
Dec 30, 2010
Yes, I’ve posted a cat video. Don’t judge me.
Dec 30, 2010
Dec 30, 2010
Creativity runs in the family
Dec 30, 2010
Dec 29, 2010
Good information. Bad writing.
Dec 29, 2010
Dec 29, 2010
True friends hurt one another whenever possible
Dec 29, 2010
Dec 28, 2010
Avoid ambiguity in the demise of a character
Dec 28, 2010
Dec 28, 2010
Need a grocery store? We have plenty.
Dec 28, 2010
Dec 28, 2010
The price of wealth
Dec 28, 2010
Dec 27, 2010
Topless, frigid and amusing
Dec 27, 2010
Dec 27, 2010
I’m so jealous
Dec 27, 2010
Dec 26, 2010
I did not grow up with children’s books
Dec 26, 2010
Dec 26, 2010
My 2010 Christmas haul
Dec 26, 2010
Dec 26, 2010
Jewish infiltration at the North Pole, perhaps?
Dec 26, 2010
Dec 26, 2010
How to turn a toy gun into an appropriate gift
Dec 26, 2010
Dec 25, 2010
Best Christmas gift of the day
Dec 25, 2010
Dec 24, 2010
I constantly dream about the apocalypse. Is this normal?
Dec 24, 2010
Dec 23, 2010
The essence of me, as distilled by my wife and my high school sweetheart
Dec 23, 2010
Dec 23, 2010
What would Emperor Hirohito think?
Dec 23, 2010
Dec 22, 2010
What will your last words be? Are you prepared?
Dec 22, 2010
Dec 22, 2010
No accident
Dec 22, 2010
Dec 21, 2010
Brilliant or brat?
Dec 21, 2010
Dec 21, 2010
First time I was paid to write
Dec 21, 2010
Dec 21, 2010
Denial is a powerful tool
Dec 21, 2010
Dec 19, 2010
Equality not always advisable
Dec 19, 2010
Dec 19, 2010
Kitty cat love
Dec 19, 2010
Dec 18, 2010
My books read like Clifford the Big Red Dog. At least at first.
Dec 18, 2010
Dec 18, 2010
A little weird or immeasurably cool?
Dec 18, 2010
Dec 17, 2010
WOW.
Dec 17, 2010
Dec 17, 2010
I probably like this a lot more than I should
Dec 17, 2010
Dec 17, 2010
Facebook Fail
Dec 17, 2010
Dec 16, 2010
A couple of winners
Dec 16, 2010
Dec 16, 2010
Best worst insult
Dec 16, 2010
Dec 15, 2010
Beauty squared
Dec 15, 2010
Dec 15, 2010
Should I be a little nicer in 2011?
Dec 15, 2010
Dec 14, 2010
My treatise on tipping
Dec 14, 2010
Dec 13, 2010
My kingdom for an orange
Dec 13, 2010
Dec 13, 2010
The deception of The Nutcracker
Dec 13, 2010
Dec 12, 2010
More classless New York Jets behavior
Dec 12, 2010
Dec 12, 2010
Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me: Near perfection, but not quite
Dec 12, 2010
Dec 12, 2010
Jets handle rejection like a spurned teenage snob
Dec 12, 2010
Dec 11, 2010
If my nightmares weren’t already consumed by armed robbers and gunshots to the head, this would most assuredly be my nightly psychological torment
Dec 11, 2010
Dec 11, 2010
Bare-breasted behemoths and buxom babes not needed
Dec 11, 2010
Dec 10, 2010
Is the Chamberlen family one of the greatest collections of scoundrels to ever walk the face of the Earth?
Dec 10, 2010
Dec 9, 2010
Topless would have been better
Dec 9, 2010
Dec 9, 2010
Headstones and high-fives
Dec 9, 2010
Dec 8, 2010
The thing I do best
Dec 8, 2010
Dec 7, 2010
It's the little things that make me feel the most stupid
Dec 7, 2010
Dec 6, 2010
Potential dead friends
Dec 6, 2010
Dec 5, 2010
Cheat cheat never beat. Except by accident.
Dec 5, 2010
Dec 4, 2010
Hardest decisions are usually the best decisions
Dec 4, 2010
Dec 3, 2010
High expectations are not always good
Dec 3, 2010
Dec 3, 2010
Anatomy of a toddler’s conversation
Dec 3, 2010
Dec 3, 2010
Frazzled moms making a bad name for competent mothers everywhere
Dec 3, 2010
Dec 2, 2010
Bats with bombs
Dec 2, 2010
Dec 2, 2010
The forgotten freedom of adulthood: Stop disappointing the childhood version of yourself and do something ridiculous
Dec 2, 2010
Dec 1, 2010
Resolution update: November 2010
Dec 1, 2010
Dec 1, 2010
My favorite works of fiction
Dec 1, 2010
November 2010
Nov 30, 2010
He makes a fine, fine point
Nov 30, 2010
Nov 30, 2010
Worst things ever
Nov 30, 2010
Nov 30, 2010
Talk Soup: A solution to my cultural blindness?
Nov 30, 2010
Nov 29, 2010
Royal wedding stupidity
Nov 29, 2010
Nov 29, 2010
Two more allergens to add to my list
Nov 29, 2010
Nov 28, 2010
Slightly disingenuous but outstanding nonetheless
Nov 28, 2010
Nov 28, 2010
How to know your Supreme Court justices
Nov 28, 2010
Nov 28, 2010
Flip-flop throwing and pending nuptials
Nov 28, 2010
Nov 27, 2010
National Geographic photo contest
Nov 27, 2010
Nov 27, 2010
Determiners of intelligence
Nov 27, 2010
Nov 26, 2010
LOUD MUSIC in a library?
Nov 26, 2010
Nov 26, 2010
Casual dining at 7-11
Nov 26, 2010
Nov 26, 2010
How to win a Thanksgiving Day argument
Nov 26, 2010
Nov 26, 2010
And now some genuine thanks
Nov 26, 2010
Nov 25, 2010
Unable to give thanks on this Thanksgiving
Nov 25, 2010
Nov 24, 2010
You are a stupid person who cannot drive
Nov 24, 2010
Nov 24, 2010
When you are supposed to like it
Nov 24, 2010
Nov 24, 2010
Better than some actual SNL episodes
Nov 24, 2010
Nov 23, 2010
This is disturbing
Nov 23, 2010
Nov 23, 2010
Okay?
Nov 23, 2010
Nov 22, 2010
Definition of insanity is insane
Nov 22, 2010
Nov 22, 2010
Not terribly exciting but full of truthiness nonetheless
Nov 22, 2010
Nov 21, 2010
The tranquility of a cheeseburger
Nov 21, 2010
Nov 20, 2010
Even God can have a bad day
Nov 20, 2010
Nov 20, 2010
I can't wear these shirts. Right?
Nov 20, 2010
Nov 19, 2010
When sex is involved, shouldn’t it always be the lead?
Nov 19, 2010
Nov 19, 2010
Full body whiners
Nov 19, 2010
Nov 19, 2010
Important parental service announcement
Nov 19, 2010
Nov 18, 2010
CPR sex discrimination
Nov 18, 2010
Nov 18, 2010
Catastrophic yawn
Nov 18, 2010
Nov 18, 2010
Sucks to be a cashier
Nov 18, 2010
Nov 17, 2010
Desperately seeking Cheerios
Nov 17, 2010
Nov 17, 2010
A collection of ineffective and legitimately insane and possible criminal teachers
Nov 17, 2010
Nov 16, 2010
Choosing one is impossible. Choosing three is stupid, too.
Nov 16, 2010
Nov 16, 2010
Depressing and monotonous in bed
Nov 16, 2010
Nov 15, 2010
My new favorite photo of my daughter
Nov 15, 2010
Nov 15, 2010
Catastrophe and heartache breeds optimism
Nov 15, 2010
Nov 15, 2010
Aligned with the lunatics
Nov 15, 2010
Nov 14, 2010
Possible black sheep of the family?
Nov 14, 2010
Nov 14, 2010
Clara and Owen
Nov 14, 2010
Nov 14, 2010
Self administered surgery
Nov 14, 2010
Nov 13, 2010
Bologna and catsup sandwiches
Nov 13, 2010
Nov 13, 2010
Dick Van Dyke rescued by porpoises?
Nov 13, 2010
Nov 12, 2010
Large organizations with large problems
Nov 12, 2010
Nov 12, 2010
Spreading the McRib and other good news
Nov 12, 2010
Nov 11, 2010
Lessons from two years of parenting
Nov 11, 2010
Nov 10, 2010
My way is the right way.
Nov 10, 2010
Nov 10, 2010
How do you answer "What do you do for a living?" when you have three jobs?
Nov 10, 2010
Nov 9, 2010
Perverse political pleasure
Nov 9, 2010
Nov 9, 2010
Rhetorical blunder
Nov 9, 2010
Nov 8, 2010
This is insane
Nov 8, 2010
Nov 8, 2010
How did you decide upon your occupation?
Nov 8, 2010
Nov 7, 2010
For the sake of brevity…
Nov 7, 2010
Nov 7, 2010
Pouty Sanchez
Nov 7, 2010
Nov 6, 2010
Defeated by the elderly
Nov 6, 2010
Nov 6, 2010
Can't imagine why I am not universally adored
Nov 6, 2010
Nov 5, 2010
Spiders in a Volkswagen
Nov 5, 2010
Nov 4, 2010
Cartoon babe?
Nov 4, 2010
Nov 4, 2010
Simple and doable
Nov 4, 2010
Nov 4, 2010
I don’t know who Snooky is or if Lady Gaga wore a meat dress, but I’m probably happier than you.
Nov 4, 2010
Nov 3, 2010
Knitting not allowed (because I'm jealous)
Nov 3, 2010
Nov 2, 2010
Best news from our little bundle of joy
Nov 2, 2010
Nov 2, 2010
Inexplicable engineering stupidity
Nov 2, 2010
Nov 2, 2010
The language of pole vaulting
Nov 2, 2010
Nov 1, 2010
Let's start applauding all church organists
Nov 1, 2010
Nov 1, 2010
Hearts in Atlantis: A fine name for an entirely different film
Nov 1, 2010
Nov 1, 2010
It was also pretty awesome. I won’t lie.
Nov 1, 2010
October 2010
Oct 31, 2010
It’s a six hour holiday. NOT A SEASON.
Oct 31, 2010
Oct 31, 2010
Brick House and breasts
Oct 31, 2010
Oct 30, 2010
The original Nordstrom's employee manual contains the only rule that any organization needs to function effectively.
Oct 30, 2010
Oct 29, 2010
Panty raid!
Oct 29, 2010
Oct 29, 2010
Am I Ned, too?
Oct 29, 2010
Oct 28, 2010
Sex in a carefully monitored lab setting
Oct 28, 2010
Oct 28, 2010
I am a giant nerd
Oct 28, 2010
Oct 28, 2010
Testicular cancer talk
Oct 28, 2010
Oct 27, 2010
Bits and bytes from my first days with Elysha
Oct 27, 2010
Oct 27, 2010
Old men quitting on their teams
Oct 27, 2010
Oct 26, 2010
A lot can happen in twelve years…
Oct 26, 2010
Oct 26, 2010
Identity crisis
Oct 26, 2010
Oct 25, 2010
Forever young
Oct 25, 2010
Oct 25, 2010
Shooting little kids in the chest
Oct 25, 2010
Oct 24, 2010
But it’s just Bram
Oct 24, 2010
Oct 24, 2010
5 pieces of advice from my evil stepfather
Oct 24, 2010
Oct 23, 2010
What is Hell?
Oct 23, 2010
Oct 23, 2010
At last! A job tailor-made to my abilities.
Oct 23, 2010
Oct 22, 2010
Pants are not priceless
Oct 22, 2010
Oct 21, 2010
Do vegans force their pets and children to be vegans, too?
Oct 21, 2010
Oct 21, 2010
You’re not welcome
Oct 21, 2010
Oct 20, 2010
I got hit by a car and forgot about it, and my memory loss had nothing to do with my head injury
Oct 20, 2010
Oct 20, 2010
Programmed to despise shopping
Oct 20, 2010
Oct 19, 2010
Sit and watch Daddy poop!
Oct 19, 2010
Oct 19, 2010
Talking to the wrong guy, buddy
Oct 19, 2010
Oct 19, 2010
Lacking social sensitivity and stress
Oct 19, 2010
Oct 18, 2010
Preferred parking for managers and administrators is really just jackass parking.
Oct 18, 2010
Oct 18, 2010
Where is your engagement ring?
Oct 18, 2010
Oct 17, 2010
In case you didn’t see this…
Oct 17, 2010
Oct 17, 2010
Best gift ever
Oct 17, 2010
Oct 17, 2010
I'm afraid that I will someday be an unwanted wedding guest
Oct 17, 2010
Oct 16, 2010
More on shoe removal
Oct 16, 2010
Oct 16, 2010
A tale of two weddings
Oct 16, 2010
Oct 15, 2010
Look under the back panties
Oct 15, 2010
Oct 15, 2010
She is much too thin
Oct 15, 2010
Oct 14, 2010
The phone sucks. Voice mail is slightly more palatable, and now, it's easily accessible.
Oct 14, 2010
Oct 14, 2010
No more neckties
Oct 14, 2010
Oct 13, 2010
It’s your house and your rules, but I don’t have to like them.
Oct 13, 2010
Oct 12, 2010
Confessions of an Elmo addict
Oct 12, 2010
Oct 12, 2010
A rock and a hard place
Oct 12, 2010
Oct 11, 2010
Words of marital wisdom
Oct 11, 2010
Oct 10, 2010
What’s in your belly?
Oct 10, 2010
Oct 10, 2010
Bee and bride
Oct 10, 2010
Oct 10, 2010
Small comforts
Oct 10, 2010
Oct 9, 2010
Resolution update: September 2010
Oct 9, 2010
Oct 9, 2010
Speeding kills… road signs.
Oct 9, 2010
Oct 9, 2010
Revenge is sweet, as long as it doesn’t harm Clara
Oct 9, 2010
Oct 8, 2010
Complicated parking
Oct 8, 2010
Oct 8, 2010
I tend to be a nonconformist, but when it came to high school hazing, a little conformity might've been a good idea.
Oct 8, 2010
Oct 7, 2010
A more innocent time
Oct 7, 2010
Oct 7, 2010
My thought for the day
Oct 7, 2010
Oct 7, 2010
The Internet is not always necessary
Oct 7, 2010
Oct 6, 2010
Art imitates life
Oct 6, 2010
Oct 6, 2010
An end of the world “I told you so”
Oct 6, 2010
Oct 6, 2010
Killing pigeons and swimming in sync are both dumb
Oct 6, 2010
Oct 5, 2010
Unacceptable, even in a restroom
Oct 5, 2010
Oct 5, 2010
Graduation blues
Oct 5, 2010
Oct 5, 2010
If you have to announce it to the world…
Oct 5, 2010
Oct 4, 2010
Men would never put up with this Tupperware party nonsense
Oct 4, 2010
Oct 4, 2010
The reverse crank call
Oct 4, 2010
Oct 3, 2010
Connecticut automotive eccentricities
Oct 3, 2010
Oct 3, 2010
Is good food enough?
Oct 3, 2010
Oct 2, 2010
Did we need to see the veins?
Oct 2, 2010
Oct 2, 2010
You name the state
Oct 2, 2010
Oct 2, 2010
Bad wedding advice from another white, middle aged advice columnist
Oct 2, 2010
Oct 1, 2010
Germans continue to win despite their defeat
Oct 1, 2010
September 2010
Sep 30, 2010
This is not semantics
Sep 30, 2010
Sep 30, 2010
Forgotten past
Sep 30, 2010
Sep 30, 2010
Happy Camper
Sep 30, 2010
Sep 29, 2010
The bride is pretty
Sep 29, 2010
Sep 29, 2010
Crazy Town
Sep 29, 2010
Sep 28, 2010
Peanut allergy is peanuts by comparison
Sep 28, 2010
Sep 28, 2010
Most famous Newington resident?
Sep 28, 2010
Sep 28, 2010
Rewriting Melville
Sep 28, 2010
Sep 27, 2010
The truth will set the wolves on you
Sep 27, 2010
Sep 27, 2010
Yes, I am left handed. As a result, I am more likely to be President or a murderer. Or both.
Sep 27, 2010
Sep 26, 2010
Huh?
Sep 26, 2010
Sep 26, 2010
The Google is God
Sep 26, 2010
Sep 25, 2010
The good, the bad and the people who should shut up
Sep 25, 2010
Sep 25, 2010
Danger. Old people crossing.
Sep 25, 2010
Sep 25, 2010
Canine critic
Sep 25, 2010
Sep 25, 2010
Bring it on
Sep 25, 2010
Sep 24, 2010
Worst movie dialogue ever
Sep 24, 2010
Sep 22, 2010
No murder in my heart
Sep 22, 2010
Sep 22, 2010
No middle ground
Sep 22, 2010
Sep 21, 2010
Can you have too much choice?
Sep 21, 2010
Sep 21, 2010
My name affords exponentially more options
Sep 21, 2010
Sep 20, 2010
Too clever for its own good
Sep 20, 2010
Sep 20, 2010
Assigning personal belief at birth
Sep 20, 2010
Sep 20, 2010
Raise your hand if you think that lush eyelashes have anything to do with beauty.
Sep 20, 2010
Sep 19, 2010
Save the planet. Sit your ass down.
Sep 19, 2010
Sep 19, 2010
Meanest comments of the year
Sep 19, 2010
Sep 19, 2010
House tours
Sep 19, 2010
Sep 18, 2010
Is there a reason to cater to adults?
Sep 18, 2010
Sep 18, 2010
Read that book at your own risk
Sep 18, 2010
Sep 17, 2010
Hiding from me
Sep 17, 2010
Sep 17, 2010
I learned so much more than a foreign language
Sep 17, 2010
Sep 16, 2010
Pets. Part 1.
Sep 16, 2010
Sep 16, 2010
Strangest question this year
Sep 16, 2010
Sep 16, 2010
Disoriented but on time
Sep 16, 2010
Sep 15, 2010
Ladies. Please. My daughter’s future is at stake.
Sep 15, 2010
Sep 15, 2010
Roses are red. Not green.
Sep 15, 2010
Sep 14, 2010
Are wives really this rotten?
Sep 14, 2010
Sep 14, 2010
Unnecessary pages be gone!
Sep 14, 2010
Sep 13, 2010
Not nice. And not Jewish.
Sep 13, 2010
Sep 13, 2010
My wife kissed a strange man in exchange for fruit and alcohol
Sep 13, 2010
Sep 13, 2010
A little baby becomes a little kid
Sep 13, 2010
Sep 12, 2010
Embodiment of their teacher
Sep 12, 2010
Sep 12, 2010
Go home.
Sep 12, 2010
Sep 11, 2010
Bested by Best Western
Sep 11, 2010
Sep 11, 2010
A teacher's recollections of 9/11
Sep 11, 2010
Sep 11, 2010
Independence trumps any semblance of heat
Sep 11, 2010
Sep 10, 2010
Not funny
Sep 10, 2010
Sep 10, 2010
Dental nerd
Sep 10, 2010
Sep 10, 2010
How old is considered fully cooked?
Sep 10, 2010
Sep 9, 2010
Peeing into your golf club is not a solution to not a problem.
Sep 9, 2010
Sep 8, 2010
Biological explanation
Sep 8, 2010
Sep 8, 2010
Fresh veggies? Bah!
Sep 8, 2010
Sep 7, 2010
Deathbed regrets
Sep 7, 2010
Sep 7, 2010
She must think she’s married an idiot
Sep 7, 2010
Sep 7, 2010
Art defined by dollars
Sep 7, 2010
Sep 6, 2010
Big head finally explained
Sep 6, 2010
Sep 5, 2010
My two most common restaurant complaints
Sep 5, 2010
Sep 5, 2010
One of the only reasons to like the fashion industry
Sep 5, 2010
Sep 5, 2010
The encore is stupid.
Sep 5, 2010
Sep 4, 2010
New words in the OED
Sep 4, 2010
Sep 3, 2010
Parental fears come to life
Sep 3, 2010
Sep 3, 2010
Lifehack of the decade
Sep 3, 2010
Sep 2, 2010
Resolution update: August 2010
Sep 2, 2010
Sep 2, 2010
The best they could do?
Sep 2, 2010
Sep 2, 2010
No such thing as a free breakfast
Sep 2, 2010
Sep 1, 2010
Marital combat or martial combat?
Sep 1, 2010
Sep 1, 2010
Truth
Sep 1, 2010
Sep 1, 2010
Warm and wet but not too long
Sep 1, 2010
August 2010
Aug 31, 2010
The honest author bio
Aug 31, 2010
Aug 31, 2010
Author bio finalized
Aug 31, 2010
Aug 31, 2010
Happy and dissatisfied
Aug 31, 2010
Aug 30, 2010
Golden Rule, Golden Shmool
Aug 30, 2010
Aug 30, 2010
Can I survive on even less sleep?
Aug 30, 2010
Aug 30, 2010
Merriam Webster’s Top 10 Commonly Confused Words
Aug 30, 2010
Aug 29, 2010
Dead people’s jerseys
Aug 29, 2010
Aug 28, 2010
"Be an unbeatable person and avenge my death.”
Aug 28, 2010
Aug 28, 2010
Give kids a reason to write
Aug 28, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
CAPS LOCK
Aug 27, 2010
Aug 27, 2010
No place like home
Aug 27, 2010
Aug 26, 2010
Skookum!
Aug 26, 2010
Aug 26, 2010
Did they use straws to empty the pools?
Aug 26, 2010
Aug 26, 2010
Is it time for product placement in fiction?
Aug 26, 2010
Aug 25, 2010
Knock! Knock!
Aug 25, 2010
Aug 25, 2010
The backhanded compliment bio
Aug 25, 2010
Aug 24, 2010
Contest runner-up #2
Aug 24, 2010
Aug 23, 2010
Name your kid after me or don’t. No middle ground.
Aug 23, 2010
Aug 23, 2010
Susan Stamberg confirms that I’m not old man.
Aug 23, 2010
Aug 23, 2010
The Page 69 Test
Aug 23, 2010
Aug 22, 2010
It seems like pandering, but I swear it’s not. She’s not angry at me nor have I done anything stupid as of late.
Aug 22, 2010
Aug 21, 2010
Based upon King’s estimation, I’m a huge success!
Aug 21, 2010
Aug 21, 2010
Nonconforming, subversive wife
Aug 21, 2010
Aug 20, 2010
Realities of a book tour and some recommended reads
Aug 20, 2010
Aug 20, 2010
Contest runner-up #1
Aug 20, 2010
Aug 19, 2010
Not right. Not cool.
Aug 19, 2010
Aug 19, 2010
When imaginary friends become real
Aug 19, 2010
Aug 18, 2010
And the winner is…
Aug 18, 2010
Aug 18, 2010
Love ‘em as a Patriot, but as an analyst…
Aug 18, 2010
Aug 18, 2010
New business plan for English majors everywhere (myself included)
Aug 18, 2010
Aug 17, 2010
Foolish guarantee
Aug 17, 2010
Aug 17, 2010
Best letter
Aug 17, 2010
Aug 17, 2010
Matty’s Top 10 wedding tips
Aug 17, 2010
Aug 16, 2010
TheKnot.com threatening to take over the world
Aug 16, 2010
Aug 16, 2010
UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO update
Aug 16, 2010
Aug 15, 2010
My sources
Aug 15, 2010
Aug 15, 2010
My theory on IQ
Aug 15, 2010
Aug 14, 2010
Must watch: Words
Aug 14, 2010
Aug 14, 2010
Quarterbacks are jerks
Aug 14, 2010
Aug 13, 2010
New York Times Book Review!
Aug 13, 2010
Aug 13, 2010
Squirm
Aug 13, 2010
Aug 13, 2010
I don’t like the French
Aug 13, 2010
Aug 12, 2010
Disturbing my sleep on purpose
Aug 12, 2010
Aug 12, 2010
Casting is an art
Aug 12, 2010
Aug 12, 2010
Really bad band names
Aug 12, 2010
Aug 12, 2010
It's difficult, if not impossible, to modulate your vocabulary to accommodate the unknown needs of your audience.
Aug 12, 2010
Aug 11, 2010
Unexpected links
Aug 11, 2010
Aug 11, 2010
Easy peezy lemon squeezy
Aug 11, 2010
Aug 11, 2010
Delete before you die
Aug 11, 2010
Aug 11, 2010
Unhappy parents
Aug 11, 2010
Aug 10, 2010
Slow on the uptake
Aug 10, 2010
Aug 10, 2010
Justin Bieber and Albert Einstein in one place
Aug 10, 2010
Aug 9, 2010
Killer
Aug 9, 2010
Aug 9, 2010
I was a griefer. I'm so proud of it.
Aug 9, 2010
Aug 9, 2010
An idiot with a difficult name
Aug 9, 2010
Aug 8, 2010
No more smiles around the table
Aug 8, 2010
Aug 8, 2010
Cupcakes and college professors
Aug 8, 2010
Aug 7, 2010
No girls allowed
Aug 7, 2010
Aug 7, 2010
Maniac behind the wheel
Aug 7, 2010
Aug 6, 2010
Early musical predictor
Aug 6, 2010
Aug 6, 2010
My personal life expectancy
Aug 6, 2010
Aug 6, 2010
Huh?
Aug 6, 2010
Aug 5, 2010
Jerry can copy but not the rest of us?
Aug 5, 2010
Aug 5, 2010
Maybe Toughskins and parachute pants will make a comeback, too
Aug 5, 2010
Aug 4, 2010
Question about womanly matters
Aug 4, 2010
Aug 4, 2010
Daily Candy and The Wall Street Journal!
Aug 4, 2010
Aug 4, 2010
UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO book tour begins!
Aug 4, 2010
Aug 4, 2010
Situation
Aug 4, 2010
Aug 3, 2010
My favorite gift
Aug 3, 2010
Aug 3, 2010
Infecting the Internet
Aug 3, 2010
Aug 2, 2010
A little consistency, please?
Aug 2, 2010
Aug 2, 2010
Thanks a lot, Glenn…
Aug 2, 2010
Aug 2, 2010
One of the benefits of having children
Aug 2, 2010
Aug 1, 2010
Resolution update: July 2010
Aug 1, 2010
Aug 1, 2010
Contest update
Aug 1, 2010
Aug 1, 2010
Someone stole my college
Aug 1, 2010
July 2010
Jul 31, 2010
Pleasure in another person’s pain
Jul 31, 2010
Jul 31, 2010
Short-sightedness
Jul 31, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
You have some explaining to do, John Boy.
Jul 30, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
The precipice of publication
Jul 30, 2010
Jul 30, 2010
Believers always welcome
Jul 30, 2010
Jul 29, 2010
Only in corporate America
Jul 29, 2010
Jul 29, 2010
As a writer, I often have no idea what I'm doing
Jul 29, 2010
Jul 29, 2010
Stupid tee shirt made stupider
Jul 29, 2010
Jul 28, 2010
I was right! (insert self-congratulatory jig)
Jul 28, 2010
Jul 28, 2010
The first table is merely a suggestion.
Jul 28, 2010
Jul 28, 2010
Useless word
Jul 28, 2010
Jul 28, 2010
Career advice
Jul 28, 2010
Jul 27, 2010
Top 3 blogger on this blog
Jul 27, 2010
Jul 27, 2010
Backing into trouble
Jul 27, 2010
Jul 26, 2010
A contest! Everyone loves a contest! And there are fabulous prizes, too!
Jul 26, 2010
Jul 26, 2010
Clever brats-turned-friends
Jul 26, 2010
Jul 26, 2010
Contrition or liberation?
Jul 26, 2010
Jul 25, 2010
Perhaps my publisher should triple the price of my book
Jul 25, 2010
Jul 24, 2010
Future caveman?
Jul 24, 2010
Jul 24, 2010
Cruel design
Jul 24, 2010
Jul 23, 2010
Nuking the Earth over and over again
Jul 23, 2010
Jul 23, 2010
How am I ever going to explain Ghostbusters to her?
Jul 23, 2010
Jul 23, 2010
Animated Jewish philosopher
Jul 23, 2010
Jul 22, 2010
A friend who understands me completely.
Jul 22, 2010
Jul 22, 2010
Weiner envy
Jul 22, 2010
Jul 22, 2010
When your mom dies…
Jul 22, 2010
Jul 21, 2010
Unanswered questions that will never be answered
Jul 21, 2010
Jul 21, 2010
Stuff your sorrys in a sack
Jul 21, 2010
Jul 21, 2010
Questionable restroom language
Jul 21, 2010
Jul 20, 2010
The majesty of the combine harvester. Oh, and a legitimately bionic cat, too.
Jul 20, 2010
Jul 20, 2010
Lacking less-than-vital information
Jul 20, 2010
Jul 20, 2010
Mired in hip-waggling and scat
Jul 20, 2010
Jul 19, 2010
Organ swapping?
Jul 19, 2010
Jul 19, 2010
It's fine to be a slightly insane parent. Just don't pretend that you're not.
Jul 19, 2010
Jul 18, 2010
The world is slightly less interesting today
Jul 18, 2010
Jul 18, 2010
The Vatican is nothing if not consistent
Jul 18, 2010
Jul 17, 2010
There is never a need to make Journey songs more accessible to children
Jul 17, 2010
Jul 17, 2010
How to write like a simpleton
Jul 17, 2010
Jul 16, 2010
Rumble seats?
Jul 16, 2010
Jul 16, 2010
2007 was not a good year
Jul 16, 2010
Jul 16, 2010
Worst excuse ever
Jul 16, 2010
Jul 15, 2010
Guest blogger: My agent, Taryn Fagerness, explains her life in the foreign rights world
Jul 15, 2010
Jul 15, 2010
Cruelty on display
Jul 15, 2010
Jul 15, 2010
A brave new Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker
Jul 15, 2010
Jul 14, 2010
Three best compliments ever
Jul 14, 2010
Jul 14, 2010
Poverty breeds careful planning and worn-out rubber
Jul 14, 2010
Jul 13, 2010
Friendship rating guidelines
Jul 13, 2010
Jul 13, 2010
It’s coffee.
Jul 13, 2010
Jul 12, 2010
Handsome not always nice
Jul 12, 2010
Jul 12, 2010
This is one way to make me feel inadequate
Jul 12, 2010
Jul 12, 2010
An update on my Big Wheel dream
Jul 12, 2010
Jul 11, 2010
My inner child comes alive
Jul 11, 2010
Jul 11, 2010
Differing views on the nature of a loser
Jul 11, 2010
Jul 11, 2010
My wife's lack of physical descriptors don't prevent me from staring at her constantly
Jul 11, 2010
Jul 10, 2010
Have times really changed that much?
Jul 10, 2010
Jul 10, 2010
Inexplicable loserdom
Jul 10, 2010
Jul 9, 2010
Caps? Bolding? Air quotes? And freakin' Comic Sans?
Jul 9, 2010
Jul 9, 2010
What does she want from me?
Jul 9, 2010
Jul 9, 2010
Still thinking like a kid
Jul 9, 2010
Jul 8, 2010
Separate and unequal recess policies
Jul 8, 2010
Jul 8, 2010
Worst geographic decision ever
Jul 8, 2010
Jul 8, 2010
Where do you get your ideas?
Jul 8, 2010
Jul 7, 2010
Musical quandary
Jul 7, 2010
Jul 7, 2010
Breasts and legs but no sex
Jul 7, 2010
Jul 7, 2010
Which story should I write next?
Jul 7, 2010
Jul 6, 2010
The same color?
Jul 6, 2010
Jul 6, 2010
Getting in trouble
Jul 6, 2010
Jul 6, 2010
Have you ever seen a creepier coffee table?
Jul 6, 2010
Jul 5, 2010
Religious bias and Old Testament catsup
Jul 5, 2010
Jul 5, 2010
Glass-on-glass contact not required
Jul 5, 2010
Jul 4, 2010
Keep it simple
Jul 4, 2010
Jul 3, 2010
Where’s the love?
Jul 3, 2010
Jul 2, 2010
Recognition for SOMETHING MISSING
Jul 2, 2010
Jul 2, 2010
Possible murder scenario
Jul 2, 2010
Jul 2, 2010
Teachers and novelists on Facebook
Jul 2, 2010
Jul 1, 2010
Too many pins dropping in this world…
Jul 1, 2010
Jul 1, 2010
In twenty-five years… again…
Jul 1, 2010
Jul 1, 2010
Resolution update: June 2010
Jul 1, 2010
June 2010
Jun 30, 2010
Human targets
Jun 30, 2010
Jun 30, 2010
A sickness perhaps, but not a hobby
Jun 30, 2010
Jun 29, 2010
In twenty-five years…
Jun 29, 2010
Jun 29, 2010
Nursery rhymes, my style
Jun 29, 2010
Jun 28, 2010
Melting ice or a bullet in the head?
Jun 28, 2010
Jun 28, 2010
I will pledge whatever my teacher says…
Jun 28, 2010
Jun 27, 2010
Too close for comfort
Jun 27, 2010
Jun 27, 2010
The choice is made!
Jun 27, 2010
Jun 27, 2010
Childhood bogeyman returns
Jun 27, 2010
Jun 27, 2010
DJ blunders and tribulations
Jun 27, 2010
Jun 26, 2010
Spoiled
Jun 26, 2010
Jun 25, 2010
Telltale signs
Jun 25, 2010
Jun 25, 2010
Slacker book club extraordinaire
Jun 25, 2010
Jun 24, 2010
Confirmed perfection
Jun 24, 2010
Jun 24, 2010
Avoid cannibalism under these McSweeney's-referenced circumstances
Jun 24, 2010
Jun 23, 2010
Confronting a coward
Jun 23, 2010
Jun 23, 2010
An absolute out-of-the-park must-read
Jun 23, 2010
Jun 23, 2010
Pay to pray is shameful and disgusting. It needs to end.
Jun 23, 2010
Jun 22, 2010
Monopoly, short and cruel
Jun 22, 2010
Jun 22, 2010
The bird
Jun 22, 2010
Jun 22, 2010
False promises and The Matty Factor
Jun 22, 2010
Jun 21, 2010
A disservice to womankind
Jun 21, 2010
Jun 21, 2010
I did. It didn’t.
Jun 21, 2010
Jun 20, 2010
Mother’s Day kind of sucks. Huh?
Jun 20, 2010
Jun 20, 2010
Elysha rules
Jun 20, 2010
Jun 20, 2010
Please explain Mr. Jobs
Jun 20, 2010
Jun 18, 2010
Golf with an added bonus
Jun 18, 2010
Jun 18, 2010
Bittersweet summer vacation
Jun 18, 2010
Jun 16, 2010
Girl Scout reboot required
Jun 16, 2010
Jun 16, 2010
Delicious and tragic
Jun 16, 2010
Jun 15, 2010
Working hard for the money
Jun 15, 2010
Jun 14, 2010
Ice the bunny
Jun 14, 2010
Jun 14, 2010
Namesake
Jun 14, 2010
Jun 14, 2010
Read, damn it
Jun 14, 2010
Jun 14, 2010
Turkey baster
Jun 14, 2010
Jun 13, 2010
ScissorS
Jun 13, 2010
Jun 13, 2010
Stepping back into history
Jun 13, 2010
Jun 12, 2010
Mass suicide is clearly insane, but the parting of the Red Sea lives in Crazy Town, too.
Jun 12, 2010
Jun 12, 2010
Beware of what?
Jun 12, 2010
Jun 11, 2010
Would I even be hungry?
Jun 11, 2010
Jun 11, 2010
Do I have to be a Frenchy?
Jun 11, 2010
Jun 10, 2010
Possibly maybe potentially exciting. Someday. Maybe.
Jun 10, 2010
Jun 10, 2010
My dream
Jun 10, 2010
Jun 10, 2010
Floor plan of Dunder Mifflin
Jun 10, 2010
Jun 9, 2010
Motivation strategies for employers, teachers and even parents.
Jun 9, 2010
Jun 9, 2010
Death by headphones
Jun 9, 2010
Jun 9, 2010
If you're embarrassed to admit to buying your clothing at Marshall's, then you're an embarrassment to all of humanity.
Jun 9, 2010
Jun 8, 2010
The evils of swashbuckling action and very bad weather.
Jun 8, 2010
Jun 8, 2010
The wondrous vulva
Jun 8, 2010
Jun 7, 2010
Goonies never say die
Jun 7, 2010
Jun 7, 2010
No credit deserved
Jun 7, 2010
Jun 7, 2010
Ultimate business conversion
Jun 7, 2010
Jun 6, 2010
I’m a present-tense hedonist.
Jun 6, 2010
Jun 6, 2010
First instincts usually correct
Jun 6, 2010
Jun 6, 2010
All-access pass
Jun 6, 2010
Jun 5, 2010
Farmer’s tan
Jun 5, 2010
Jun 5, 2010
Tooth fish are tasty
Jun 5, 2010
Jun 4, 2010
Martin is not obsessive compulsive. He's like me.
Jun 4, 2010
Jun 3, 2010
Blame my distaste of broccoli on advertising. Or the lack thereof.
Jun 3, 2010
Jun 2, 2010
Big geek
Jun 2, 2010
Jun 2, 2010
Congrats on your respiration system
Jun 2, 2010
Jun 1, 2010
Disappearing follicles?
Jun 1, 2010
Jun 1, 2010
Resolution update: May 2010
Jun 1, 2010
Jun 1, 2010
Your child's birth ain’t news
Jun 1, 2010
May 2010
May 31, 2010
Not a T-Rex after all
May 31, 2010
May 31, 2010
Lawyer jokes made easy
May 31, 2010
May 29, 2010
Grossest thing ever
May 29, 2010
May 29, 2010
I found this utterly fascinating
May 29, 2010
May 29, 2010
I’m Popeye the Sailor Man. Or a dinosaur.
May 29, 2010
May 28, 2010
My band of real life super heroes
May 28, 2010
May 28, 2010
In preparation for the summer book tour
May 28, 2010
May 26, 2010
Clara behind the camera
May 26, 2010
May 26, 2010
High-five
May 26, 2010
May 26, 2010
The devil is in the details
May 26, 2010
May 26, 2010
My little book lover
May 26, 2010
May 25, 2010
Three biggest mistakes that parents make
May 25, 2010
May 25, 2010
The annoying gadget guy
May 25, 2010
May 24, 2010
My life
May 24, 2010
May 23, 2010
The rest of the story
May 23, 2010
May 22, 2010
Memories I’d like to forget
May 22, 2010
May 20, 2010
Dead
May 20, 2010
May 20, 2010
Names
May 20, 2010
May 19, 2010
Outsourcing my underwear
May 19, 2010
May 18, 2010
It’s all about the shoes
May 18, 2010
May 18, 2010
The verdict
May 18, 2010
May 17, 2010
Straight-talk
May 17, 2010
May 17, 2010
Too much television
May 17, 2010
May 17, 2010
If you can find ten minutes, you can find the time to write
May 17, 2010
May 16, 2010
Twelve years perhaps?
May 16, 2010
May 16, 2010
2010: Products I can’t live without
May 16, 2010
May 16, 2010
Great moments in academia #2
May 16, 2010
May 15, 2010
Spite and anger make it happen
May 15, 2010
May 15, 2010
A lack of support
May 15, 2010
May 14, 2010
Shivering or sweaty
May 14, 2010
May 14, 2010
Amusement rides a little too realistic
May 14, 2010
May 13, 2010
Road kill punch
May 13, 2010
May 12, 2010
You can be yourself, but only if you wear a tie
May 12, 2010
May 12, 2010
Betsy Claypool more interesting than Betsy Ross
May 12, 2010
May 11, 2010
Some of us don’t need anymore drama
May 11, 2010
May 11, 2010
I don't think you exist, but that doesn't mean you should yell at me in the brief moments that you do.
May 11, 2010
May 10, 2010
Tick tock
May 10, 2010
May 9, 2010
Peeing was never so fun
May 9, 2010
May 9, 2010
Making my own karma
May 9, 2010
May 9, 2010
Left handed people will tell you: This could not be more true
May 9, 2010
May 8, 2010
What is an alternative lifestyle anymore?
May 8, 2010
May 7, 2010
Cell phones make for more creative writing
May 7, 2010
May 5, 2010
It’s a sewing accomplishment
May 5, 2010
May 5, 2010
No secrets required
May 5, 2010
May 4, 2010
A radish?
May 4, 2010
May 4, 2010
Say no to Fiji
May 4, 2010
May 3, 2010
It should not be this hard…
May 3, 2010
May 3, 2010
Don't try to define dignity for me. Just tell me that I smell and kill me.
May 3, 2010
May 2, 2010
Resolution Update: April 2011
May 2, 2010
May 1, 2010
I love it when my pithy observation is actually real
May 1, 2010
April 2010
Apr 30, 2010
Skin care gone awry
Apr 30, 2010
Apr 29, 2010
I don’t have a relationship with my electric toothbrush, but I still use it daily
Apr 29, 2010
Apr 28, 2010
Who am I?
Apr 28, 2010
Apr 27, 2010
Trash
Apr 27, 2010
Apr 26, 2010
If the word “common” is in the name…
Apr 26, 2010
Apr 25, 2010
Dueling with my literary agent
Apr 25, 2010
Apr 24, 2010
Can’t stand a snob
Apr 24, 2010
Apr 23, 2010
Great moments in academia: #1
Apr 23, 2010
Apr 22, 2010
You are probably not real
Apr 22, 2010
Apr 21, 2010
Insecurity
Apr 21, 2010
Apr 21, 2010
Never play halfway
Apr 21, 2010
Apr 20, 2010
Leave my goddamn grass alone.
Apr 20, 2010
Apr 20, 2010
Justified pride?
Apr 20, 2010
Apr 19, 2010
The Hunt for Red October: Good and not so much
Apr 19, 2010
Apr 19, 2010
Deception I tell you!
Apr 19, 2010
Apr 18, 2010
Forgive or else!
Apr 18, 2010
Apr 17, 2010
No cutting
Apr 17, 2010
Apr 16, 2010
Carl Linnaeus is rolling over in his grave
Apr 16, 2010
Apr 15, 2010
I love this quote
Apr 15, 2010
Apr 15, 2010
No neck
Apr 15, 2010
Apr 14, 2010
A 17 to 10 ratio
Apr 14, 2010
Apr 14, 2010
In need of a vigilante
Apr 14, 2010
Apr 13, 2010
Better in my belly than on television
Apr 13, 2010
Apr 13, 2010
Walking display racks
Apr 13, 2010
Apr 12, 2010
Simple and brilliant
Apr 12, 2010
Apr 12, 2010
Not guilty
Apr 12, 2010
Apr 11, 2010
A stranger’s love is worth more
Apr 11, 2010
Apr 11, 2010
The key to understanding the opposite sex
Apr 11, 2010
Apr 10, 2010
Where did all these pillows come from?
Apr 10, 2010
Apr 8, 2010
Litany of addresses
Apr 8, 2010
Apr 8, 2010
I write fiction, and the truth was the best I could do?
Apr 8, 2010
Apr 8, 2010
The best kind of advice
Apr 8, 2010
Apr 7, 2010
Ruining marriages everywhere
Apr 7, 2010
Apr 6, 2010
99 FRECKLES in Germany
Apr 6, 2010
Apr 6, 2010
Middle school playgorund inequity and segregation: Boys and girls separated by a thick, white line
Apr 6, 2010
Apr 6, 2010
Working for free
Apr 6, 2010
Apr 5, 2010
On the precipice of revision
Apr 5, 2010
Apr 4, 2010
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: A recap
Apr 4, 2010
Apr 4, 2010
Dessert for dinner
Apr 4, 2010
Apr 3, 2010
Obnoxious and stupid
Apr 3, 2010
Apr 3, 2010
How I found my literary agent
Apr 3, 2010
Apr 2, 2010
Resolution Update: March 2011
Apr 2, 2010
Apr 2, 2010
Retro eyewear
Apr 2, 2010
Apr 1, 2010
Creed is Creed
Apr 1, 2010
March 2010
Mar 31, 2010
Bugs better than bears
Mar 31, 2010
Mar 31, 2010
To read or not to read
Mar 31, 2010
Mar 31, 2010
It’s a room
Mar 31, 2010
Mar 30, 2010
Witticisms or lacking wit?
Mar 30, 2010
Mar 29, 2010
Fuzzy time tables
Mar 29, 2010
Mar 29, 2010
Longing for happier days
Mar 29, 2010
Mar 29, 2010
Asked and answered
Mar 29, 2010
Mar 28, 2010
I’m saved!
Mar 28, 2010
Mar 28, 2010
Ten Word Wiki
Mar 28, 2010
Mar 27, 2010
Plan A
Mar 27, 2010
Mar 26, 2010
I don’t get it
Mar 26, 2010
Mar 26, 2010
Linguistic complaints
Mar 26, 2010
Mar 26, 2010
Feeling better about myself
Mar 26, 2010
Mar 25, 2010
The Ethicist: Golfing allowed on day two?
Mar 25, 2010
Mar 24, 2010
Does this mean I can get into Heaven?
Mar 24, 2010
Mar 24, 2010
Rules of a gun fight
Mar 24, 2010
Mar 24, 2010
Deprived youth
Mar 24, 2010
Mar 23, 2010
Dregs of the Earth in my baby book
Mar 23, 2010
Mar 23, 2010
Peeing your pants with aplomb
Mar 23, 2010
Mar 22, 2010
Savant
Mar 22, 2010
Mar 22, 2010
A more original and meaningful approach to greeting cards
Mar 22, 2010
Mar 21, 2010
Sad
Mar 21, 2010
Mar 21, 2010
Mortality in three acts
Mar 21, 2010
Mar 20, 2010
My happiness is at risk
Mar 20, 2010
Mar 20, 2010
It’s just better
Mar 20, 2010
Mar 19, 2010
The Ethicist, with a twist
Mar 19, 2010
Mar 19, 2010
An utter lack of pomp and circumstance
Mar 19, 2010
Mar 19, 2010
Not OMG
Mar 19, 2010
Mar 18, 2010
Is television a window into the soul?
Mar 18, 2010
Mar 17, 2010
Stupid Saint Patrick’s Day
Mar 17, 2010
Mar 17, 2010
Sunset of my DJ career
Mar 17, 2010
Mar 16, 2010
World War II in under two minutes
Mar 16, 2010
Mar 16, 2010
A blogging dilemma
Mar 16, 2010
Mar 16, 2010
Conformity
Mar 16, 2010
Mar 15, 2010
Simplicity
Mar 15, 2010
Mar 14, 2010
Little boys in restrooms
Mar 14, 2010
Mar 13, 2010
Two-dimensional parades
Mar 13, 2010
Mar 13, 2010
Old school television
Mar 13, 2010
Mar 12, 2010
The price of an e-book
Mar 12, 2010
Mar 11, 2010
A brief history of my favorite musicians
Mar 11, 2010
Mar 11, 2010
Resolution Update: February 2010
Mar 11, 2010
Mar 11, 2010
I told you so
Mar 11, 2010
Mar 10, 2010
Most popular at the the moment
Mar 10, 2010
Mar 10, 2010
Mystery fruit
Mar 10, 2010
Mar 9, 2010
The View
Mar 9, 2010
Mar 8, 2010
The Friendship Application
Mar 8, 2010
Mar 8, 2010
Bartering herself into a new career? Maybe.
Mar 8, 2010
Mar 7, 2010
The demise of the book tour and the rise of its replacement
Mar 7, 2010
Mar 6, 2010
Quitting
Mar 6, 2010
Mar 5, 2010
Nothing’s impossible if your religion is based upon a miracles
Mar 5, 2010
Mar 5, 2010
Two kinds of teachers
Mar 5, 2010
Mar 4, 2010
Wardrobe malfunction
Mar 4, 2010
Mar 4, 2010
Kudos for SOMETHING MISSING
Mar 4, 2010
Mar 4, 2010
Joy? Of course. But a source of pride? No.
Mar 4, 2010
Mar 4, 2010
Reunited! And perhaps an idea for a book.
Mar 4, 2010
Mar 3, 2010
I’ll sleep when I’m dead
Mar 3, 2010
Mar 2, 2010
Verbal Sparring 101: English proficiency is required
Mar 2, 2010
Mar 1, 2010
My own Android app, plus SOMETHING MISSING on the iPhone
Mar 1, 2010
Mar 1, 2010
Another bestseller list!
Mar 1, 2010
Mar 1, 2010
Genius name recognition
Mar 1, 2010
February 2010
Feb 28, 2010
Third person nightmare
Feb 28, 2010
Feb 28, 2010
My book has been hijacked by a couple of no-nothings.
Feb 28, 2010
Feb 27, 2010
Vegans. The annoying kind.
Feb 27, 2010
Feb 27, 2010
Enough with the ten minutes
Feb 27, 2010
Feb 26, 2010
The demanded apology: A pathetic, passive aggressive attempt to make someone say words that the don't want to say
Feb 26, 2010
Feb 25, 2010
Brilliant
Feb 25, 2010
Feb 25, 2010
Poisoned before my second birthday
Feb 25, 2010
Feb 24, 2010
Fine is not good enough
Feb 24, 2010
Feb 24, 2010
A mixed bag
Feb 24, 2010
Feb 24, 2010
Either way, I rule.
Feb 24, 2010
Feb 23, 2010
Dream come true times two
Feb 23, 2010
Feb 23, 2010
My wife, the radical noncomformist
Feb 23, 2010
Feb 22, 2010
Imponderables
Feb 22, 2010
Feb 22, 2010
Audio books: The good, the bad and the silly
Feb 22, 2010
Feb 21, 2010
Never again
Feb 21, 2010
Feb 21, 2010
Moose!
Feb 21, 2010
Feb 20, 2010
Hudson recommends SOMETHING MISSING
Feb 20, 2010
Feb 19, 2010
Stuck in the minority
Feb 19, 2010
Feb 19, 2010
Upcoming events
Feb 19, 2010
Feb 18, 2010
Why my wife will never allow me a Freebie List
Feb 18, 2010
Feb 18, 2010
The butterflies were nice. The signage was better.
Feb 18, 2010
Feb 17, 2010
Tough to be a woman. Impossible to live without women.
Feb 17, 2010
Feb 17, 2010
Stop wasting oxygen
Feb 17, 2010
Feb 17, 2010
GAME CHANGE’s alliteration not quite music to my ears
Feb 17, 2010
Feb 16, 2010
Just because we’re accustomed to seeing it doesn’t make it any less ridiculous
Feb 16, 2010
Feb 16, 2010
Heroic me
Feb 16, 2010
Feb 15, 2010
Three little old ladies talking about me
Feb 15, 2010
Feb 15, 2010
In praise of community college
Feb 15, 2010
Feb 14, 2010
BEST GIFT EVER
Feb 14, 2010
Feb 13, 2010
Brilliant band names
Feb 13, 2010
Feb 13, 2010
8 simple rules for requesting music at a wedding
Feb 13, 2010
Feb 12, 2010
A novel idea about a novel idea
Feb 12, 2010
Feb 12, 2010
I couldn’t resist posting…
Feb 12, 2010
Feb 12, 2010
SOMETHING MISSING: The large print version
Feb 12, 2010
Feb 11, 2010
Good advice
Feb 11, 2010
Feb 10, 2010
Answers and coincidences
Feb 10, 2010
Feb 10, 2010
The Man
Feb 10, 2010
Feb 10, 2010
Doubting myself
Feb 10, 2010
Feb 9, 2010
White snow, black swan
Feb 9, 2010
Feb 8, 2010
Ten minutes at a time
Feb 8, 2010
Feb 6, 2010
Galleys arrived!
Feb 6, 2010
Feb 4, 2010
It's my birthday this month! Before giving me (or anyone else) a gift, please read this carefully and adjust accordingly.
Feb 4, 2010
Feb 4, 2010
Bestseller list
Feb 4, 2010
Feb 4, 2010
Where to?
Feb 4, 2010
Feb 4, 2010
Searching for a new dream
Feb 4, 2010
Feb 3, 2010
Foreign deal
Feb 3, 2010
Feb 2, 2010
Goals?
Feb 2, 2010
Feb 1, 2010
A question in need of an answer
Feb 1, 2010
Feb 1, 2010
B Roll
Feb 1, 2010
Feb 1, 2010
Resolution update: January 2010
Feb 1, 2010
January 2010
Jan 31, 2010
Fresh Voices 2010
Jan 31, 2010
Jan 28, 2010
Revelation
Jan 28, 2010
Jan 28, 2010
On our way to Misty Valley Books!
Jan 28, 2010
Jan 28, 2010
What I have to say
Jan 28, 2010
Jan 27, 2010
What’s an author to do?
Jan 27, 2010
Jan 27, 2010
Who thought this was a good idea?
Jan 27, 2010
Jan 26, 2010
How to save the independent bookstore: Part 1
Jan 26, 2010
Jan 25, 2010
You just can’t throw away a man’s crock pot. Can you?
Jan 25, 2010
Jan 25, 2010
Apologies for being so nice
Jan 25, 2010
Jan 24, 2010
Siblings or Dating?
Jan 24, 2010
Jan 24, 2010
Getting through the day
Jan 24, 2010
Jan 23, 2010
Waiting on Hollywood
Jan 23, 2010
Jan 22, 2010
Getting the word out
Jan 22, 2010
Jan 21, 2010
Dagger in the heart
Jan 21, 2010
Jan 20, 2010
Death of the American newspaper
Jan 20, 2010
Jan 20, 2010
What gives, ladies?
Jan 20, 2010
Jan 20, 2010
Why use Twitter?
Jan 20, 2010
Jan 20, 2010
If more Republicans were like this… Yikes.
Jan 20, 2010
Jan 19, 2010
If I ruled the world…
Jan 19, 2010
Jan 19, 2010
Thick skin
Jan 19, 2010
Jan 18, 2010
Frightened
Jan 18, 2010
Jan 18, 2010
“Separate but equal” still alive in Hollywood
Jan 18, 2010
Jan 18, 2010
I was the parent of a teenager, even if some people choose to discount it.
Jan 18, 2010
Jan 17, 2010
Better ways of feeling good about yourself
Jan 17, 2010
Jan 17, 2010
The right thing
Jan 17, 2010
Jan 16, 2010
Toilet wins every time
Jan 16, 2010
Jan 16, 2010
Elmore Leonard’s rules of writing
Jan 16, 2010
Jan 15, 2010
A real life Martin?
Jan 15, 2010
Jan 14, 2010
Make it memorable
Jan 14, 2010
Jan 14, 2010
Star Trek stinks
Jan 14, 2010
Jan 14, 2010
Commas from the gut
Jan 14, 2010
Jan 13, 2010
Johnny Depp, again, and again, and again
Jan 13, 2010
Jan 13, 2010
He’s not OCD. He’s just like me.
Jan 13, 2010
Jan 12, 2010
“Methought I heard a voice cry, 'Sleep no more!”
Jan 12, 2010
Jan 11, 2010
Make your voice heard!
Jan 11, 2010
Jan 10, 2010
Stand up for your food preferences
Jan 10, 2010
Jan 8, 2010
In favor of life coaching
Jan 8, 2010
Jan 7, 2010
Gender gap
Jan 7, 2010
Jan 7, 2010
Broccoli is poison. Seriously.
Jan 7, 2010
Jan 7, 2010
Huh?
Jan 7, 2010
Jan 6, 2010
It’s not my fault that I’m genetically superior
Jan 6, 2010
Jan 6, 2010
Plants have just as much right to life as bacon
Jan 6, 2010
Jan 5, 2010
Ingenious
Jan 5, 2010
Jan 4, 2010
Staring death in the eye
Jan 4, 2010
Jan 4, 2010
Alligator
Jan 4, 2010
Jan 3, 2010
High-five
Jan 3, 2010
Jan 3, 2010
How convenient. You and God believe the same thing!
Jan 3, 2010
Jan 2, 2010
My abyss
Jan 2, 2010
Jan 1, 2010
New Year’s Resolutions: 2010
Jan 1, 2010
Jan 1, 2010
Resolution update: 2009 in review
Jan 1, 2010
Jan 1, 2010
I can’t help it.
Jan 1, 2010
December 2009
Dec 31, 2009
A decade of neologisms
Dec 31, 2009
Dec 30, 2009
Literary and Pregnancy Dos and Don’ts
Dec 30, 2009
Dec 30, 2009
Best books of 2009
Dec 30, 2009
Dec 29, 2009
An honor or a disservice?
Dec 29, 2009
Dec 29, 2009
Talented teenager
Dec 29, 2009
Dec 29, 2009
Look! A Democrat who speaks like a Republican!
Dec 29, 2009
Dec 28, 2009
The story of our engagement
Dec 28, 2009
Dec 28, 2009
Rise up, my brothers and sisters!
Dec 28, 2009
Dec 27, 2009
Nothing good can come of it
Dec 27, 2009
Dec 26, 2009
I don’t care if Glenn Beck is on your Christmas list
Dec 26, 2009
Dec 26, 2009
Another review to close out 2009
Dec 26, 2009
Dec 25, 2009
My 2009 Christmas haul
Dec 25, 2009
Dec 24, 2009
The Simpsons and me
Dec 24, 2009
Dec 23, 2009
What woman buys this stuff?
Dec 23, 2009
Dec 22, 2009
Hollywood does it right
Dec 22, 2009
Dec 21, 2009
Literally singing the praises of books!
Dec 21, 2009
Dec 21, 2009
Uncommonly bad advice
Dec 21, 2009
Dec 21, 2009
No more ring
Dec 21, 2009
Dec 20, 2009
Timing is everything
Dec 20, 2009
Dec 20, 2009
Not cool
Dec 20, 2009
Dec 20, 2009
Holiday treat
Dec 20, 2009
Dec 19, 2009
Challenging literary analysis
Dec 19, 2009
Dec 19, 2009
Bad book covers
Dec 19, 2009
Dec 18, 2009
A likely excuse
Dec 18, 2009
Dec 17, 2009
Honesty gets you nowhere
Dec 17, 2009
Dec 17, 2009
Best response ever
Dec 17, 2009
Dec 15, 2009
New name. New design. Same writer.
Dec 15, 2009
Dec 15, 2009
Judging people based upon viewing choices
Dec 15, 2009
Dec 15, 2009
Rock opera update
Dec 15, 2009
Dec 14, 2009
Handerpants!
Dec 14, 2009
Dec 14, 2009
Perfection
Dec 14, 2009
Dec 14, 2009
Leadership begins with the Lord. And castration.
Dec 14, 2009
Dec 13, 2009
The kindness of strangers
Dec 13, 2009
Dec 12, 2009
Pen names
Dec 12, 2009
Dec 11, 2009
People-pleasers
Dec 11, 2009
Dec 10, 2009
Like one great big pinball machine
Dec 10, 2009
Dec 9, 2009
Saving the best
Dec 9, 2009
Dec 9, 2009
Milo in Germany
Dec 9, 2009
Dec 9, 2009
How Many of Me?
Dec 9, 2009
Dec 8, 2009
White, fluffy drama
Dec 8, 2009
Dec 8, 2009
Goodness
Dec 8, 2009
Dec 8, 2009
Tortured soul. Thankfully not me.
Dec 8, 2009
Dec 7, 2009
Broken eggs are always funny
Dec 7, 2009
Dec 6, 2009
Bad Santa
Dec 6, 2009
Dec 6, 2009
A war of words inside my head
Dec 6, 2009
Dec 5, 2009
Available for pre-order
Dec 5, 2009
Dec 5, 2009
Potato chips, dead people and armed barbers
Dec 5, 2009
Dec 4, 2009
Overconfidence
Dec 4, 2009
Dec 3, 2009
This could work…
Dec 3, 2009
Dec 3, 2009
Resolution update: November 2009
Dec 3, 2009
Dec 2, 2009
You can put lipstick on a pig…
Dec 2, 2009
Dec 1, 2009
Tuesday Teaser
Dec 1, 2009
Dec 1, 2009
That’s my book!
Dec 1, 2009
Dec 1, 2009
A glimpse into the past
Dec 1, 2009
November 2009
Nov 30, 2009
All good news
Nov 30, 2009
Nov 30, 2009
What to say?
Nov 30, 2009
Nov 30, 2009
Tick tock… time’s a wasting
Nov 30, 2009
Nov 29, 2009
Why?
Nov 29, 2009
Nov 28, 2009
Write a book
Nov 28, 2009
Nov 27, 2009
“I demand that she be fired!” said the moronic dolt.
Nov 27, 2009
Nov 27, 2009
Can I put my hand on your butt without offending?
Nov 27, 2009
Nov 26, 2009
Empires fall
Nov 26, 2009
Nov 26, 2009
A Thanksgiving offering
Nov 26, 2009
Nov 25, 2009
In need of a copyeditor. And a brain.
Nov 25, 2009
Nov 24, 2009
Music critics: A dying breed?
Nov 24, 2009
Nov 23, 2009
Write like Palin!
Nov 23, 2009
Nov 23, 2009
internet
Nov 23, 2009
Nov 23, 2009
Waiting is the worst
Nov 23, 2009
Nov 23, 2009
Tackle football one more time. Please?
Nov 23, 2009
Nov 22, 2009
New website up and running
Nov 22, 2009
Nov 19, 2009
I hope he’s right
Nov 19, 2009
Nov 19, 2009
Hoping for disaster. Again.
Nov 19, 2009
Nov 18, 2009
Happy to be alive
Nov 18, 2009
Nov 17, 2009
Uniformity be damned!
Nov 17, 2009
Nov 16, 2009
Because you CAN have too many…
Nov 16, 2009
Nov 16, 2009
Sneak attack averted
Nov 16, 2009
Nov 16, 2009
Out of the mouths of babes (Psalm 8: 1-2)
Nov 16, 2009
Nov 16, 2009
Perhaps they are not quite dead just yet
Nov 16, 2009
Nov 15, 2009
To each his own. Right? I hope?
Nov 15, 2009
Nov 14, 2009
Dedication decision
Nov 14, 2009
Nov 13, 2009
Great literary opportunities tomorrow!
Nov 13, 2009
Nov 13, 2009
Strange things afoot at the Circle K
Nov 13, 2009
Nov 12, 2009
Death #2
Nov 12, 2009
Nov 11, 2009
Old fashioned book burning: Follow-up
Nov 11, 2009
Nov 11, 2009
Death #1
Nov 11, 2009
Nov 10, 2009
Dedication for UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO
Nov 10, 2009
Nov 9, 2009
On good authority, I haven’t changed a bit
Nov 9, 2009
Nov 8, 2009
Hometown appearance
Nov 8, 2009
Nov 7, 2009
We can’t possibly be this desperate for ideas
Nov 7, 2009
Nov 6, 2009
Brutal
Nov 6, 2009
Nov 6, 2009
My hometown
Nov 6, 2009
Nov 6, 2009
Editor at all hours
Nov 6, 2009
Nov 5, 2009
Admitting my failure
Nov 5, 2009
Nov 4, 2009
Briarwood and Beyond, but no coffee, please.
Nov 4, 2009
Nov 3, 2009
Loving me some new vocabulary
Nov 3, 2009
Nov 3, 2009
AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com
Nov 3, 2009
Nov 2, 2009
Capturing the essence of life
Nov 2, 2009
Nov 1, 2009
Honesty translates into respect
Nov 1, 2009
October 2009
Oct 31, 2009
Don't compliment students. One kid's compliment is another kid's insult. Restaurant staffers also take note.
Oct 31, 2009
Oct 30, 2009
Promoting sexism? Maybe. But will anyone care?
Oct 30, 2009
Oct 29, 2009
Strange days
Oct 29, 2009
Oct 29, 2009
Free
Oct 29, 2009
Oct 28, 2009
Where have all the rebels gone?
Oct 28, 2009
Oct 28, 2009
An homage to great storytellers everywhere
Oct 28, 2009
Oct 27, 2009
Wash, rinse, dry, repeat
Oct 27, 2009
Oct 27, 2009
Worst million dollars ever
Oct 27, 2009
Oct 26, 2009
Once more with feeling, for all you Buffy fans
Oct 26, 2009
Oct 26, 2009
Stupid name
Oct 26, 2009
Oct 26, 2009
Many hands make light work
Oct 26, 2009
Oct 25, 2009
This is my new favorite photo of my daughter
Oct 25, 2009
Oct 25, 2009
Kudos from readers in Greece and Norway
Oct 25, 2009
Oct 25, 2009
A day at the movies
Oct 25, 2009
Oct 23, 2009
Martin’s eBay expertise garners some attention
Oct 23, 2009
Oct 23, 2009
Worth paying a second college tuition
Oct 23, 2009
Oct 22, 2009
If only…
Oct 22, 2009
Oct 22, 2009
Borders Books in Farmington, CT
Oct 22, 2009
Oct 22, 2009
MUST LISTEN
Oct 22, 2009
Oct 21, 2009
Vying for a spot on The Moth
Oct 21, 2009
Oct 20, 2009
Writers Read
Oct 20, 2009
Oct 20, 2009
Tears and snots for just one book so far
Oct 20, 2009
Oct 19, 2009
Life magazine for free!
Oct 19, 2009
Oct 19, 2009
This artificially-flavored book is not dedicated to you.
Oct 19, 2009
Oct 18, 2009
Zombies!
Oct 18, 2009
Oct 18, 2009
Water Street Books
Oct 18, 2009
Oct 17, 2009
Not all books should be recorded
Oct 17, 2009
Oct 17, 2009
Giving hotdogs a bad name
Oct 17, 2009
Oct 17, 2009
Raven
Oct 17, 2009
Oct 16, 2009
Ten-year-old genius
Oct 16, 2009
Oct 16, 2009
Old fashioned book burning
Oct 16, 2009
Oct 15, 2009
Death is not a deterrent
Oct 15, 2009
Oct 14, 2009
Out of print but still in demand
Oct 14, 2009
Oct 13, 2009
Bad day
Oct 13, 2009
Oct 13, 2009
Okay. Maybe there was one more youthful indiscretion
Oct 13, 2009
Oct 12, 2009
My crime-riddled past
Oct 12, 2009
Oct 11, 2009
Revelation!
Oct 11, 2009
Oct 11, 2009
Characters named after electronic device addiction and sexually transmitted diseases
Oct 11, 2009
Oct 11, 2009
BEST FLAG EVER
Oct 11, 2009
Oct 11, 2009
Deep thoughts
Oct 11, 2009
Oct 11, 2009
Resolution update: September 2009
Oct 11, 2009
Oct 10, 2009
The invincible Scott, and then everyone else
Oct 10, 2009
Oct 9, 2009
No neck
Oct 9, 2009
Oct 7, 2009
Book of the Month
Oct 7, 2009
Oct 7, 2009
Short story conundrum
Oct 7, 2009
Oct 6, 2009
Busy!
Oct 6, 2009
Oct 5, 2009
Axis of evil in my baby book
Oct 5, 2009
Oct 5, 2009
Sometimes a book can speak directly to your heart
Oct 5, 2009
Oct 4, 2009
Cursive writing: Expendable?
Oct 4, 2009
Oct 4, 2009
Great speech. Lousy bedside manner.
Oct 4, 2009
Oct 3, 2009
How does anyone keep with with this magazine?
Oct 3, 2009
Oct 2, 2009
Credit to the copyeditor
Oct 2, 2009
Oct 1, 2009
A question of origin
Oct 1, 2009
September 2009
Sep 30, 2009
Subtitles be gone!
Sep 30, 2009
Sep 29, 2009
Turkey for the win
Sep 29, 2009
Sep 28, 2009
When death interrupts the writing process
Sep 28, 2009
Sep 27, 2009
Brandi Terry is a big fat idiot
Sep 27, 2009
Sep 25, 2009
Luke and Luc
Sep 25, 2009
Sep 24, 2009
The half-finished book
Sep 24, 2009
Sep 22, 2009
Consider the source
Sep 22, 2009
Sep 22, 2009
Visiting Westport with Margot Berwin
Sep 22, 2009
Sep 20, 2009
The Island of Misfit Books
Sep 20, 2009
Sep 20, 2009
Be prepared.
Sep 20, 2009
Sep 20, 2009
A float has to float
Sep 20, 2009
Sep 19, 2009
Difficult to defend Dan
Sep 19, 2009
Sep 17, 2009
First peek at UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO’s cover
Sep 17, 2009
Sep 16, 2009
High expectations
Sep 16, 2009
Sep 16, 2009
Ice cream connoisseur
Sep 16, 2009
Sep 15, 2009
Upcoming appearances
Sep 15, 2009
Sep 14, 2009
In the presence of Nicholson Baker
Sep 14, 2009
Sep 13, 2009
Must listen
Sep 13, 2009
Sep 12, 2009
SOMETHING MISSING: the audio book
Sep 12, 2009
Sep 10, 2009
Stupid, annoying plot
Sep 10, 2009
Sep 10, 2009
Just don’t be ordinary
Sep 10, 2009
Sep 9, 2009
Praise for SOMETHING MISSING
Sep 9, 2009
Sep 9, 2009
The Ugly Duckling is uglier than I thought
Sep 9, 2009
Sep 8, 2009
Guest blogger Ann O’Connell shares a story of awkwardness, love and possible spurs
Sep 8, 2009
Sep 7, 2009
Foiled by meat
Sep 7, 2009
Sep 5, 2009
Golf and writing bear the same fruits
Sep 5, 2009
Sep 4, 2009
Many hands make light work
Sep 4, 2009
Sep 4, 2009
Soundtrack people
Sep 4, 2009
Sep 3, 2009
Boston Globe review
Sep 3, 2009
Sep 2, 2009
My little boy, or girl, is all grown up (I hope)
Sep 2, 2009
Sep 2, 2009
You had to read the whole list before getting upset?
Sep 2, 2009
Sep 1, 2009
Stranger than fiction
Sep 1, 2009
August 2009
Aug 31, 2009
Resolution update: August 2009
Aug 31, 2009
Aug 29, 2009
More attention for SOMETHING MISSING
Aug 29, 2009
Aug 28, 2009
Unfortunate mistaken identity
Aug 28, 2009
Aug 27, 2009
Does the multiple-author format make more sense?
Aug 27, 2009
Aug 26, 2009
Appearing at the Wilton Library
Aug 26, 2009
Aug 25, 2009
My bee sting
Aug 25, 2009
Aug 25, 2009
Is there value in publishing a first draft?
Aug 25, 2009
Aug 24, 2009
Twitter friends
Aug 24, 2009
Aug 24, 2009
A change in style
Aug 24, 2009
Aug 23, 2009
Five year plan?
Aug 23, 2009
Aug 22, 2009
Well-timed and welcomed!
Aug 22, 2009
Aug 21, 2009
Uncomfortable plot summaries
Aug 21, 2009
Aug 20, 2009
.2%?
Aug 20, 2009
Aug 19, 2009
Subconscious naming of characters
Aug 19, 2009
Aug 18, 2009
Real-life burglars
Aug 18, 2009
Aug 18, 2009
Instant communication
Aug 18, 2009
Aug 17, 2009
Come chat with me
Aug 17, 2009
Aug 16, 2009
A fine day
Aug 16, 2009
Aug 16, 2009
Interview at RJ Julia
Aug 16, 2009
Aug 15, 2009
Capping off a perfect day
Aug 15, 2009
Aug 14, 2009
New York Times Sunday Book Review!
Aug 14, 2009
Aug 14, 2009
RJ Julia appearance
Aug 14, 2009
Aug 13, 2009
In good company
Aug 13, 2009
Aug 12, 2009
Work space
Aug 12, 2009
Aug 11, 2009
A different kind of children’s literature
Aug 11, 2009
Aug 10, 2009
New York Times Book Review!
Aug 10, 2009
Aug 10, 2009
Redundant
Aug 10, 2009
Aug 8, 2009
Readers and booksellers making my day
Aug 8, 2009
Aug 7, 2009
If not me, how about Dr. Ruth?
Aug 7, 2009
Aug 6, 2009
Words not required
Aug 6, 2009
Aug 5, 2009
Forgotten Bookmarks (and a new book idea)
Aug 5, 2009
Aug 4, 2009
Just the facts: Redux
Aug 4, 2009
Aug 4, 2009
Worlds collide
Aug 4, 2009
Aug 3, 2009
First appearance
Aug 3, 2009
Aug 2, 2009
Just the facts
Aug 2, 2009
Aug 1, 2009
Treats for Cindy
Aug 1, 2009
July 2009
Jul 31, 2009
A good way to waste time
Jul 31, 2009
Jul 30, 2009
I won’t be reading it to my daughter
Jul 30, 2009
Jul 30, 2009
Book club suggestions
Jul 30, 2009
Jul 30, 2009
First appearance
Jul 30, 2009
Jul 30, 2009
Uncles can apparently sell books, too.
Jul 30, 2009
Jul 29, 2009
The best of all booksellers
Jul 29, 2009
Jul 29, 2009
In the wild
Jul 29, 2009
Jul 28, 2009
Republican or Democrat, it’s bad, bad writing
Jul 28, 2009
Jul 27, 2009
How my writing was interrupted today
Jul 27, 2009
Jul 27, 2009
Another review
Jul 27, 2009
Jul 26, 2009
SOMETHING MISSING miscellany
Jul 26, 2009
Jul 25, 2009
Proposed deletions from the canon
Jul 25, 2009
Jul 23, 2009
First sentences, now with ultraviolent zombie mayhem!
Jul 23, 2009
Jul 22, 2009
Tool of the trade
Jul 22, 2009
Jul 21, 2009
More praise
Jul 21, 2009
Jul 21, 2009
To write or to revise?
Jul 21, 2009
Jul 20, 2009
News on SOMETHING MISSING
Jul 20, 2009
Jul 19, 2009
Front page day
Jul 19, 2009
Jul 18, 2009
Amazon sales ranking
Jul 18, 2009
Jul 18, 2009
Is SOMETHING MISSING a bestseller yet?
Jul 18, 2009
Jul 18, 2009
My favorite words
Jul 18, 2009
Jul 18, 2009
Is there an aesthetic to the written word?
Jul 18, 2009
Jul 17, 2009
Skipping his best material
Jul 17, 2009
Jul 16, 2009
Inaccessible and annoying
Jul 16, 2009
Jul 15, 2009
Technology and my beginnings as a writer
Jul 15, 2009
Jul 14, 2009
In stores at last!
Jul 14, 2009
Jul 13, 2009
Least favorite words
Jul 13, 2009
Jul 13, 2009
One day to go…
Jul 13, 2009
Jul 12, 2009
SOMETHING MISSING in the Boston Globe!
Jul 12, 2009
Jul 11, 2009
Guest review of SOMETHING MISSING
Jul 11, 2009
Jul 10, 2009
Star Trek: Coincidentally flawed
Jul 10, 2009
Jul 9, 2009
SOMETHING MISSING making a name for itself
Jul 9, 2009
Jul 9, 2009
Group descriptors
Jul 9, 2009
Jul 8, 2009
Literary love connections
Jul 8, 2009
Jul 7, 2009
Book covers
Jul 7, 2009
Jul 6, 2009
UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO: A synopsis
Jul 6, 2009
Jul 5, 2009
Poor but happy
Jul 5, 2009
Jul 3, 2009
Writer’s Digest article online
Jul 3, 2009
Jul 2, 2009
Book deal!
Jul 2, 2009
Jul 1, 2009
Book clubs: A good use of my time? Or just plain fun?
Jul 1, 2009
June 2009
Jun 30, 2009
The Dark Tower: A must read
Jun 30, 2009
Jun 29, 2009
The actual book!
Jun 29, 2009
Jun 28, 2009
RJ Julia
Jun 28, 2009
Jun 27, 2009
Odd business combinations. Again.
Jun 27, 2009
Jun 26, 2009
Product placement
Jun 26, 2009
Jun 22, 2009
Writer’s Digest feature
Jun 22, 2009
Jun 21, 2009
Odd business combinations
Jun 21, 2009
Jun 17, 2009
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies!
Jun 17, 2009
Jun 17, 2009
Drippy and syrupy and just plain inexplicable
Jun 17, 2009
Jun 15, 2009
Collection of ideas
Jun 15, 2009
Jun 15, 2009
Best place to think
Jun 15, 2009
Jun 13, 2009
What type are you?
Jun 13, 2009
Jun 12, 2009
Guilt-free book club
Jun 12, 2009
Jun 11, 2009
Customer reviews of SOMETHING MISSING
Jun 11, 2009
Jun 10, 2009
Twenty-car pile-up of ideas in my head
Jun 10, 2009
Jun 9, 2009
A word by any other name is not a word
Jun 9, 2009
Jun 8, 2009
Popularity contest
Jun 8, 2009
Jun 6, 2009
New use for SOMETHING MISSING. I think.
Jun 6, 2009
Jun 4, 2009
A teacher forever
Jun 4, 2009
Jun 2, 2009
Loving librarians
Jun 2, 2009
Jun 1, 2009
Another review!
Jun 1, 2009
May 2009
May 28, 2009
Solving problems
May 28, 2009
May 26, 2009
Second review!
May 26, 2009
May 25, 2009
First review
May 25, 2009
May 25, 2009
My new hero
May 25, 2009
May 24, 2009
Latest adventures with my book club
May 24, 2009
May 22, 2009
Much improved
May 22, 2009
May 21, 2009
New Yorker insider
May 21, 2009
May 19, 2009
Two. Period.
May 19, 2009
May 18, 2009
Bad dialogue
May 18, 2009
May 17, 2009
Abbreviated
May 17, 2009
May 15, 2009
The good and the bad
May 15, 2009
May 13, 2009
Fiction set in real life
May 13, 2009
May 7, 2009
Old man
May 7, 2009
May 6, 2009
In good company
May 6, 2009
May 5, 2009
I pity the publisher…
May 5, 2009
May 4, 2009
Characters and their names
May 4, 2009
April 2009
Apr 29, 2009
Not acting my age
Apr 29, 2009
Apr 27, 2009
Storytelling on Twitter
Apr 27, 2009
Apr 24, 2009
Experience counts
Apr 24, 2009
Apr 21, 2009
USA Today! Today!
Apr 21, 2009
Apr 20, 2009
Wyatt of Rockport, Massachusetts
Apr 20, 2009
Apr 19, 2009
Odd titles
Apr 19, 2009
Apr 17, 2009
Interruption
Apr 17, 2009
Apr 15, 2009
A reader's guide
Apr 15, 2009
Apr 14, 2009
A dangerous career
Apr 14, 2009
Apr 13, 2009
Not religious. Not spiritual.
Apr 13, 2009
Apr 12, 2009
Morrison victorious
Apr 12, 2009
Apr 11, 2009
More from Vonnegut
Apr 11, 2009
March 2009
Mar 29, 2009
Fighting with my agent (sort of)
Mar 29, 2009
Mar 25, 2009
Source material
Mar 25, 2009
Mar 22, 2009
Dream sequences suck
Mar 22, 2009
Mar 20, 2009
Tournament of Books
Mar 20, 2009
Mar 15, 2009
Lies
Mar 15, 2009
Mar 14, 2009
Acknowledgements page
Mar 14, 2009
Mar 11, 2009
Trade paper
Mar 11, 2009
Mar 9, 2009
Loving the Germans
Mar 9, 2009
Mar 8, 2009
Do you like writing?
Mar 8, 2009
Mar 4, 2009
Lunacy or brilliance?
Mar 4, 2009
Mar 3, 2009
News from the German front
Mar 3, 2009
Mar 1, 2009
First sentences
Mar 1, 2009
February 2009
Feb 28, 2009
A new start
Feb 28, 2009
Feb 23, 2009
More kind words
Feb 23, 2009
Feb 22, 2009
goodreads.com
Feb 22, 2009
Feb 21, 2009
Anyone can write
Feb 21, 2009
Feb 20, 2009
Finished
Feb 20, 2009
Feb 17, 2009
The changing landscape of publishing
Feb 17, 2009
Feb 16, 2009
Not my cup of tea
Feb 16, 2009
Feb 15, 2009
More on the Border's Book Club selection
Feb 15, 2009
Feb 11, 2009
Border's Book Club selection
Feb 11, 2009
Feb 10, 2009
Mom
Feb 10, 2009
Feb 5, 2009
The next book
Feb 5, 2009
Feb 4, 2009
My actual office
Feb 4, 2009
Feb 3, 2009
My office
Feb 3, 2009
January 2009
Jan 28, 2009
John Updike, 1932-2009
Jan 28, 2009
Jan 26, 2009
Clara Susan Dicks and a couple pages too
Jan 26, 2009
Jan 24, 2009
25 Things
Jan 24, 2009
Jan 21, 2009
Kind words
Jan 21, 2009
Jan 20, 2009
The end is in sight
Jan 20, 2009
Jan 18, 2009
Pieces of me
Jan 18, 2009
Jan 16, 2009
Punctuation matters
Jan 16, 2009
Jan 15, 2009
Good week
Jan 15, 2009
Jan 12, 2009
Nicholson Baker and me
Jan 12, 2009
Jan 3, 2009
I have no idea what pants I'm wearing
Jan 3, 2009
December 2008
Dec 30, 2008
The unexpected
Dec 30, 2008
Dec 26, 2008
My beginning
Dec 26, 2008
Dec 20, 2008
My writing group
Dec 20, 2008
Dec 17, 2008
International
Dec 17, 2008
Dec 17, 2008
One step closer
Dec 17, 2008
Dec 16, 2008
Strunk, White and the placenta
Dec 16, 2008
Dec 15, 2008
How to make your wife cry
Dec 15, 2008
Dec 11, 2008
Literary and humorous
Dec 11, 2008
Dec 10, 2008
Stealing from real life
Dec 10, 2008
Dec 9, 2008
When to revise?
Dec 9, 2008
Dec 6, 2008
Something Missing on Facebook
Dec 6, 2008
Dec 1, 2008
Division of labor
Dec 1, 2008
November 2008
Nov 28, 2008
Quick reads
Nov 28, 2008
Nov 27, 2008
More excited than me
Nov 27, 2008
Nov 24, 2008
Finding the right literary agent
Nov 24, 2008
Nov 20, 2008
Inappropriate language
Nov 20, 2008
Nov 20, 2008
Supplementary reading
Nov 20, 2008
Nov 20, 2008
Character first
Nov 20, 2008
Nov 19, 2008
Unexpected
Nov 19, 2008
Nov 18, 2008
So it begins...
Nov 18, 2008