Pouty Sanchez

Tim Graham of ESPN writes:

The Jets want Mark Sanchez to stop pouting. To force Sanchez into acting as regal as a franchise quarterback should, offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer and backup quarterback Mark Brunell have been fining Sanchez for undesirable body language. This sounds like "Romper Room" stuff. Remember when the Jets color-coded Sanchez's play-call wristband last year? Schottenheimer suggested the fines are enacted for fun, but the team obviously felt something needed to be done. Perhaps the fines will help Sanchez refrain from whining to officials, gesturing to his receivers over drops or haggling with pizzeria employees over 59-cent dipping sauces.

Three initial thoughts:

1. I’m glad the quarterback of my favorite football team doesn’t need to be fined for whining.

2. Being fined for whining sucks. Having news of the fines reported in the national media is downright humiliating.

3. Can you imagine what defensive linemen are going to be saying to this guy on Sunday when they line up against him? I hope NFL films have enough microphones on hand to catch what promises to be a relentless wave of trash-talking and insults.

But more importantly, imagine how wonderful the world would be if people could be fined for whining in real life.

Fines for those who complain that life isn’t fair.

Fines for those who whine about their job being too hard.

Fines for whining about the weather or the wife or the rotten children.

As someone who has been known to whine on what I hope is a very rare occasion, I would fully support a national whining policy, complete with monetary fines and optional community service, if only to make the world a more productive and palatable place. Not only is whining uninteresting and stupid, but it is also counter-productive and often a signal of cowardly passive-aggressive behavior.

Whining about your job, for example, does not make it better. And the energy invested in whining could have been used to improve the state of your career.

Whining about your boss or your spouse is usually an indication of an unwillingness to be forthright, direct and honest with that person, which all but guarantees that things will not change for the better.

And whining about things that are beyond your control (like the weather) amounts to little more than noise pollution.

In fact, the only whining that I support is the whining done by immature New York Jets quarterbacks in the midst of a game, and only because it hurts their team.

I hate the Jets.