US Weekly a mystery to me

This was the magazine cover that I was staring at yesterday while waiting in line at the supermarket.

Here’s the good news:

I did not recognize the woman on the front cover who was “obsessed with being thin” (though I suspect that she might not actually be a celebrity).

I learned that someone named Kim is in love and wants “his baby,” but I do not know who Kim is and do not know whose baby she wants.

Ashley and Pete have apparently been torn apart, but I do not know who Ashley or Pete are (though both look happy about their recent breakup/divorce).

LC and Whitney are in a jealous feud, but I do not recognize either person.

Sisters, perhaps?

I assume that the lack of last names means that Kim, Ashley, Pete, LC and Whitney are considered household names.

But not for me.

Once again, I find myself a little nervous about my deteriorating level of pop culture capital.

But I also can’t help but think that the time that I could have spent getting to know about Kim’s love life or LC and Whitney’s feud was better spent on the writing and reading and playing with my daughter that undoubtedly filled my time.

In fact, I suspect that I was probably better off clipping my toenails, twiddling my thumbs and staring at the ceiling rather than learning about the intricacies of Pete and Ashley's relationship.

Honestly, am I missing anything at all?