Presidential Job Application Question #5 (with my answer): What experience have you had that will serve you well as president?

Slate's John Dickerson recently published a piece entitled:

The Presidential Job Application: Seven questions we should ask anyone who wants to become President.

Over the course of the next seven days, I plan on completing Dickerson's application by answering each of the questions. I've always wanted to be President, so perhaps my answers will be so impressive that a grassroots campaign supporting my candidacy will ignite.

Answers to previous questions:

What experience have you had that will serve you well as president?

Over the course of my life, I have been impoverished, homeless, jobless, arrested and tried for a crime I didn't commit, and the victim of violent crime. 

I have also worked my way through college, managed restaurants for more than ten years, worked as an elementary school teacher for 17 years, owned two small business,  and forged a publishing career that includes four novels, two plays, and a humor column. 

I have lived a life emblematic of many Americans. In fact, it could be argued that I have lived many lives emblematic of many Americans. As President, this multitude of experiences will help me to understand and connect to the average American in a way that many of our previous Presidents and Presidential candidates cannot.

This is what's been missing in American politics for a long time. As the disparity in wealth increases over time, we need a person leading this country who understands what it's like to be in the bottom 5% rather than than top 5% and everywhere in between.

I could be that person.