Resolution update: January 2020

PERSONAL FITNESS

1. Don’t die.

My annual physical was filled with good news. My cholesterol is slightly elevated, but my calcium scoring (an indication of the likely amount of plaque in my arteries by scanning the calcium build-up in my heart) was zero, and all my other numbers were good.

I’m eating more oatmeal and slightly fewer cheeseburgers to lower my cholesterol back to normal levels, but otherwise, I’m as healthy as an ox.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I lost 12 pounds in January. More weight than I lost all last year. I’m kind of astounded.

I accomplished this by some simple switches to my routine:

Daily calorie and exercise accounting on an app
No more visits to the vending machine at work
An increased level of intensity at the gym

I’ve also identified snacks that I enjoy that are also low in calories for those times between meals when I’m hungry.

12 pounds! At this rate, I could disappear completely by June.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Done! I counted orange juice as a fruit on a handful of days, bot too bad. It’s kind of a fruit.

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done. I did not miss a single day in January.

5. Set a new personal best in golf.

The golf courses were not open in January.

My friends went on a golf weekend to Florida, but I couldn’t go. I was supposed to be speaking at a conference. The conference was cancelled and I was paid half my fee to do nothing, which is always amazing, but in this case, I would’ve much rather joined by friends in Florida.

WRITING CAREER

6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2020.

I’m hit a teeny tiny bump. For the sixth time in my writing career, my editor has moved onto another publishing house, leaving me in that terrified position of hoping that the editor who has been assigned to me loves my work and is excited about my next book.

It really is terrifying. Also, losing that many editors is ridiculous and not normal, but what more would you expect from my life?

I’m meeting my new editor in February, so before I proceed with the novel I have been writing, I’m going to meet her, hope she loves me, and hope she really loves my idea for the next book.

So I’m on hold until later this month.

In the meantime, I’ve sent a pitch for my next non-fiction title to my agent and begun writing another non-fiction book because I’m crazy.

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

No progress.

8. Write a memoir.

Writing continues. Rather slowly.

9. Write a new screenplay.

No progress.

10. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

None submitted in January.

11. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

None submitted in January.

12. Select two behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

No behaviors identified or attempted in January.

Any ideas?

13. Increase my newsletter subscriber base to 5,000.

I added 111 subscribers in January for a total of 4,046. Well on pace to reach my goal.

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

14. Write at least six letters to my father.

None written in January.  

15. Write 100 letters in 2020.

Four letters written in January. Well below the monthly amount needed to reach my goal.

16. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.

No progress.

17. Complete and release my limited episode podcast on “Twenty-One Truths About Love.”

The podcast is nearly complete. Episodes with my editor, the cover designer, and more are ready to go. I need to record the first episode with Elysha and finish editing the last one and it will be ready to launch.

STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER

18. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

One show produced in January:

A sold out performance at the Wadsworth Atheneum.

19. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

No progress. I’ll be speaking at a TEDx event in the Berkshires in April, but I booked that gig last year.

20. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

No Moth attended attended in January.

21. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

No Moth events attended in January. Hard to win if you don’t play.

22. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I’ll be competing in my 27th Moth GrandSLAM in February.

I like my story a lot.

23. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Elysha and I produced four episodes in January.

Our latest dropped on Wednesday! Subscribe today!

24. Begin providing transcriptions of each episode of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast.

No progress.

25. Explore the monetization of the Speak Up Storytelling podcast.

I set up our Patreon page in January and identified possible perks for Patreon contributions. I am nearly ready to move forward on this.

26. Perform stand up at least six times in 2020. 

No performances in January.

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

No stories pitched in January.

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

No pitches send in January.

29. Produce at least one new video for my YouTube channel each month.

Done. I posted a brand new story plus a video that shows me playing my 3-2-1 storytelling improv game.

Subscribe to my YouTube channel here.

Watch me model 3-2-1 here.

30. Find a means of producing my storytelling instruction for an online platform.

No progress in January.

HOME

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

Walls were painted in our backroom, so we can now begin hanging prints and portraits in that room. The rest of the house will be painted soon.

32. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

Estimates have been obtained and a company has been chosen. It looks like we’ll be replacing 18 windows. The project will likely commence in March.     

33. Clear the basement. 

No progress.

34. Refinish the hardwood floors.

This might be a problem. Hardwood floors require at least a few days to be completed, and we have cats. The cats will absolutely not stay with anyone else while the floors are being done, so what the hell are we going to do?

35. Purchase a new television.

Done! It’s large and beautiful and professionally mounted to the wall.

FAMILY/FRIENDS

36. Take at least one photo of my children every day.

I missed 7 days in January. I need to somehow make this a habit.

37. Take at least one photo with Elysha and myself each week.

No photos of Elysha and me in January. Again, I need to find a way to make this a habit.

38. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2020.

One meal was cooked for my family in January. I over-salted the potatoes and replied on a rotisserie chicken,. but Elysha really liked my carrots.

39. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2020.

No progress. It’s January in new England.

40. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress.  

41. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2017 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

In response to Donald Trump’s negative comments about several people’s physical appearance on Twitter, I sent him a tweet insulting his physical appearance.

It was liked and retweeted thousands of times, but I wish I hadn’t done it. I was angry.   

42. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2020.

I sent Elysha a bouquet of flowers to her workplace on her birthday.

I’ve also prepared two other surprises.

One done so far.

43. Play poker at least six times in 2020.

I played poker once in January. It was a disturbing game. I busted out twice in the first three hours, which is not my typical result. I don’t always win, but I always finish in the black.

I redeemed myself by winning the first tournament and finishing in second place in the second tournament, resulting in an overall profit for the night, but for about three hours, it was like I’d forgotten how to play poker.  

44. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.

No progress.   

NEW PROJECTS

45. Understand Instagram better.

No progress.

46. Listen to new music via the Billboard Hot 100 Spotify playlist at least four times per month.

Done! It’s interesting… I’m finding songs I like, but more fascinating, I’m discovering the kinds of songs I like by listening to 20-40 new songs per month and knowing almost immediately if I’m going to like the song.

The top two songs on the Billboard 100 in the middle of January used the n-word at least a dozen times between them. Given that I like to sing along with music, this didn’t work for me, and frankly, I just didn’t want to hear it. I’m not opposed to African-Americans using the word, but when it comes to music, it’s not for me.

It turns out that I tend to like songs that are sonically simple - easily identified instrumentation - and possess strong, clear, narrative lyrics.

Songs that I especially liked in January were Memories, Circles, Lose You To Lose Me, Good As Hell.

47. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

No progress.

48. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

No progress.

49. Scan and send photos of Laura to her daughters.

No progress.

50. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.

Done.