Thank goodness for Mommy and Daddy

I despise legacy admission practices at colleges and universities.

Frankly, I despise any practice in which a person is gifted the privilege of education, employment, or wealth simply because of who their parents happen to be.

I’m looking at you, Donald Trump Jr.

Thankfully, legacy admission practices are on the decline as colleges and universities take a serious look at whether it’s makes sense to continue programs that benefit the children of alumni while also disproportionately advantaging the wealthy.

In 2004, 58 percent of schools engaged in legacy admission practices. In 2019, that number was down to 48 percent.

The practice is more prevalent in the top 250 schools but still in decline: 

63 percent of top schools considered legacy admissions in 2004, compared to 56 percent today. 

It’s better, but it’s still terrible. The child of a Harvard graduate, for example, has a 33.9 percent chance of being admitted to Harvard, compared to just 5.9 percent of non-legacy admission.

This, in my humble opinion, is gross.

Kids who have earned their way into Harvard are blocked by kids who won the genetic lottery.

What a goddamn joke. None of us should look at Harvard in the same way again.

It won’t solve the problem of legacy admissions, but I have a proposal to at least balance the scales a teeny tiny bit. Perhaps all legacy admissions to Harvard and any other college or university should be required to wear a tee shirt during the first month of every semester that reads:

“I’m attending this prestigious school because my mommy or daddy attended this school. Maybe even one of my grandparents, too. I wasn’t accepted based upon on my own merit but because of legacy admission. What I’m trying to say is that I kind of suck. I don’t deserve to be here. But privilege is powerful, people. Large donations help, too. Do you want to be my friend?”

It’s a lot to fit on a shirt, I know.

Maybe just:

“I didn’t work as hard, and I’m not nearly as talented as the kid who didn’t get admitted to this university. Thank goodness for legacy.”

I know. Still a little long.