Grossest thing ever

This is a topic that recently came up on another blog that I read, and it’s a journal topic that I invite my students to write about each year. Children love to write about disgusting and inappropriate things. As do I. I have a great many contenders for grossest thing ever

I once saw the backfire from a school bus blow a hole the size of a grapefruit in the leg of 14-year old Keith Salome, who had been leaning against the exhaust pipe.

I saw my own femur and kneecap exposed to the world as I pried my leg from the air conditioning unit of my Datsun B-210 following a car accident in 1988.

I think those Lamisil commercials are horrifying. You must check them out if you haven’t seen them already. Truly disgusting.

I once saw a man bleed to death in about three minutes after being stabbed on Main Street in Brockton, Massachusetts.

In 1991 I attended a party at North Adams College where the punch was spiked with vodka and road kill. The frat boys had shoveled up a dead animal off the side of the road a couple days before the party and had frozen it into a block of ice that they had dyed red. They then froze the block of red ice containing the road kill into a larger block of ice and dropped it onto a barrel full of Hawaiian punch and vodka. The goal was to drink the barrel of spiked punch before the ice melted down to the road kill.

We succeeded.

But the winner for me was something I saw at the Showcase Cinemas in Berlin about ten years ago. Upon entering the restroom, I saw a 300-pound man in leather pants standing beside a urinal. He was using his right hand to aim, but in his left hand was a hotdog that he was eating while urinating.

I nearly retched on the spot.