Lacking less-than-vital information
/There is a person named Lindsay Lohan and she is going to jail soon.
I know that Lindsay Lohan is a famous person, but I do not know why she is famous. As far as I know, I have never seen her in a movie or on a television show or heard her sing a song.
Perhaps she is like Paris Hilton, who I know is famous because she starred in a reality TV show and is the daughter of the man who owns the Hilton Hotels.
Or maybe she is like Miley Cyrus, who is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus and who sings the song Party in the USA (which I like) but is also some kind of television star at the same time. Or she was once a television star. I’m not sure. But I get the sense that Miley Cyrus is not the disastrous mess that Lindsay Lohan appears to be.
I also know that Lindsay Lohan spells her first name with an A instead of an E because I have a friend named Lindsay who spells her name the same way, and she once mentioned that it was the same spelling as Lindsay Lohan.
I know that she is going to jail because she violated her parole, but I don’t know why she was on parole in the first place or what she did to violated her parole.
I probably know less about Lindsay Lohan than most of the world based upon the number of times I have heard it mentioned that she is going to jail, and yet I am also certain that I know far too much about this person as well.
Please don;t misconstrue this as a request for information about Lindsay Lohan. I could also use Wikipedia to learn about her if I wanted, but I choose to remain blissfully ignorant on this score.