But I love my job!

The Wall Street Journal published its annual list of Best and Worst Jobs of 2013. The lists consists of 200 jobs, ranked from best to worst based on five criteria: physical demands, work environment, income, stress, and hiring outlook.

I currently have three jobs.

I teach fifth grade at a public elementary school.

I am the author of three novels, a rock opera and an assortment of short stories, poems and essays. A fourth novel will publish in the fall of 2014.

I own and operate a mobile DJ company.

My jobs do not rank well on the Wall Street Journal’s list:

93. Elementary school teacher

156. Author

179. Disc jockey

The average rank of all three jobs is 142.

Despite the rankings, I am quite happy with my career choices. When I was a little boy, I dreamed of becoming a teacher and an author. Both of those dreams have come true.

I stumbled into my disc jockey career thanks to a friend’s dissatisfaction with his wedding DJ and years spent planning and hosting college parties together. Not surprising, it is the least favorite of my three jobs and we are in the process of winding our company down, but I must admit that it wasn’t a bad way to spend the last 16 years.

As a teenager, I also dreamed of becoming an attorney and went so far as to take the LSAT a few years ago (and did quite well), but I ultimately decided that a career in law was not for me. Just because I like arguing with strangers and seek out confrontation at every turn doesn’t mean I would be effective in the world of jurisprudence.  

Attorneys also ranked 117 on the list. Apparently I’m not missing much.

I am also a part-time non-religious minister who officiates at wedding and baby naming ceremonies. Since I’ve only worked in this capacity about a dozen times in my life, I don’t think of it as a career, even though I am paid for my services. 

Clergy members ranked 110 on the list. Right in my apparent wheelhouse in terms of job satisfaction.

Always looking for a new challenge, I have other jobs that remain in their infancy or haven’t been launched at all. These include:

Life coach
Public speaker
Efficiency expert
Professional Best Man
Grave site visitor
Double date companion
Professional poker player
College professor

In regards to these possible future careers:

I’ve been paid for my services as life coach by two clients, though both are currently inactive.

I’m a member of the Macmillan Speakers Bureau and am actively seeking public speaking opportunities. In addition to being a storyteller and a four time Moth StorySLAM champion, I have also served as a commencement speaker, a convocation speaker, an inspirational speaker and I recently emceed the West Hartford Mayor’s Charity Ball. I have been paid very little for my public speaking appearances to date, but my hope is that this will change in time.

I have been offered the position of Professional Best Man on three separate occasions, but distance has prevented me from taking any of these jobs.

The illegalization of online poker in the United States put a huge dent in my poker playing career, but before poker was taken off the Internet, I earned enough to pay for our honeymoon in poker profits and am hoping that recently proposed legislation might bring back my poker playing career to the levels it once enjoyed.

I have been offered positions as adjunct professor at local colleges on a part-time basis in the field of education, but my goal is to become a professor of creative writing. I have yet to find or be offered that position. 

The positions of efficiency expert, double date companion and grave site visitor remain little more than dreams to this point, though I have not given up hope.

It’s also important to note that none of the jobs on this secondary list even appear in the Wall Street Journal’s list.

Perhaps I am simply ahead of my time.