A hard roll is actually soft. You probably knew that already, but I didn’t.

For the first 35 years of my life, I never ordered an egg sandwich on a hard roll because who the hell would want an egg sandwich on a hard roll?

Except it turns out that a hard roll isn’t hard. It’s soft.

Elysha pointed this out to me when we started dating. We were having breakfast at a local diner and she ordered her sandwich on a hard roll. When I asked her why she didn’t prefer a soft roll, she said that a hard roll was soft.

I thought she was crazy, but it turns out that she was right.

I had been relegated to English muffins, bagels and the occasional croissant for 35 years because some jackass mislabeled a soft roll as hard simply because of its slightly crusty exterior.