I want to be Jimmy Fallon

My friend, Bengi, used to play a game with me wherein he’d try to find someone in the world who I would rather be than me.

We were 19 at the time, living off elbow macaroni and unable to afford to turn on the heat in the winter. I was managing a McDonald’s, driving a 1976 Chevy Malibu, and had no real  future, so you’d think that it wouldn’t be hard to find someone –anyone – who I would prefer to be than me, but no. He never did.

Twenty-five years later, I have found that person.

If I could, I would be Jimmy Fallon. In a heartbeat.

There are a million reasons for me to want to be Jimmy Fallon, but they all kind of look like this: