Little did I know that my sister would so badly impugn my reputation on our brother-sister blog.
She makes me out to be a complete brute.
I may have to rethink this blog, but based upon her newfound enthusiasm, I suspect that there’s no stopping her.
In this week’s episode of Manners in the Digital Age, Farhad Manjoo and Emily Yoffe debate whether it's acceptable to scrap the paper wedding invitation and use digital invitations instead. Just for the record, I fully support the use of digital invitations for weddings and wish my wife and I had gone this route. Our invitations were lovely and incredibly expensive.
A few comments from this podcast that I thought were interesting.
First, in posing the question about the acceptability of an electronic invitation for their child’s wedding, a listener writes:
“I’m worried that guests receiving an evite will chuckle derisively…”
I’m always surprised to hear from adults who are still so concerned about the opinions of others when it comes to something so trivial, trite and ultimately forgettable as a wedding invitation.
I think Manjoo says it best in the podcast:
“For a guest to scoff or chuckle at the medium someone uses to invite you to a wedding is rude.”
As uncouth, improper, ill mannered or cheap as a person may seem, it is always more uncouth, ill mannered and improper to talk about these perceived flaws behind the person’s back.
I know many people who think quite highly of their manners and sense of decorum who could benefit from this lesson.
Not surprising, the very traditional Emily Yoffe does not support electronic invitations for weddings, but she says a couple very important things during the podcast that I admire:
1. She acknowledges that her opinion will probably change in 5-10 years.
2. She tells the concerned parents who have posed this question that once they have stated their opinion regarding the invitations, they need to step back and allow the adults who are getting married to make the final decision without any protest or pleas for reconsideration.
I cannot tell you how often the parents of brides and grooms place their own concerns for image, appearance and taste over their child’s desires for their wedding day. Some parents are downright rotten when it comes to their child’s wedding, and I will never understand it.
When and if Clara gets married someday, the last thing I will be worried about is what my friends think about my daughter’s wedding. Clara can do as she pleases, as long as she is happy.
3. When asked what she would think if she received an evite to a wedding, Yoffe answered, “I’d think I’m really old.”
She wouldn’t think that the senders were cheap or stupid or ill mannered. As traditional as Yoffe tends to be, she is also flexible in her thinking, adaptive in her attitudes and relatively open minded.
She’d probably make a great mother-in-law.
Steve Jobs' third story is the one that means the most to me. And he’s right. It is the way in which I live my life.
Sadly, I become more and more convinced that it is only by facing near death that this lesson can truly be learned.
To quote Jim Mora, “You think you know, but you just don’t know.”
I find it amusing when someone says that they work “in reception.” As if reception is a department akin to accounting or marketing or IT. In truth, I’ve only had one person ever say this directly to me, but the phrase came up in conversation last week, and I’ve heard it referenced before. I find this seeming deliberate avoidance of the word receptionist slightly offensive to receptionists everywhere.
When I managed a McDonald’s restaurant, I didn’t tell people that I worked in food service management or that I worked for a Fortune 500 company.
I said, “I manage a McDonald’s restaurant.”
You’re a receptionist. There’s nothing wrong with that.
If you think there is, get another job.
In the process of writing what I thought would be a short post, I searched the phrase in reception online and returned thousands of hits.
Most interesting among them was a Wikipedia entry on receptionists that sounds like it was specifically written by a receptionist who loves his or her job a little too much.
It’s not your typical, passionless Wikipedia article. It reads like a sixth grade term paper. In terms of irony, obtuseness, and sheer entertainment value, it’s worth a read.
I’m equally fascinated by the photos of the two receptionists used for the entry.
Does this man (working at the Hampton Inn Suites based upon the data contained within the photo) and these two women know that their images have been used to help illustrate the meaning of the word receptionist?
Even more compelling:
Is the partially concealed woman in the second photo annoyed that her colleague has received front billing? Has she always been jealous of her prettier desk mate? Did this photograph sadly reinforced these feelings of inadequacy and self doubt?
Even better, are any of these people (I strongly suspect Mr. Hampton Inn Suites) the author of the Wikipedia entry?
I think it’s entirely possible.
Paragraphs like this would seem to support this theory:
At times, the job may be stressful due to interaction with many different people with different types of personalities, and being expected to perform multiple tasks quickly.
Sounds like someone complaining about his job to me. Perhaps a desk clerk at a busy Hampton Inn Suites in New York?
Or how about this paragraph?
A receptionist position… could be perceived as having a certain veneer of glamour with opportunities for networking in order to advance to other positions within a specific field. Some people may use this type of job as a way to familiarize themselves with office work, or to learn of other functions or positions within a corporation. Some people use receptionist work as a way to earn money while pursuing further educational opportunities or other career interests such as in the performing arts or as writers.
See that? Pursuing other career interests such as writers?
The writer of Wikipedia entries, perhaps?
And a veneer of glamour? C’mon!
This paragraph reads like a guy trying to explain to his parents why their son, a graduate from Hofstra with a degree in philosophy, is working the front desk at a Hampton Inn Suites.
“It’s just temporary, Mom. It’s paying the bills while I work on my career. I’m up for a small part in an off-off-off Broadway production of a modern day adaptation of The Tempest, and Billy and I are writing a screenplay about two slackers living in a Volkswagen. This is how people get started in the business.”
In fact, the whole entry on receptionists reads like the first draft for a pamphlet designed to elevate the esteem of the position of receptionist to prospective high school student everywhere.
It really is an amusing read.
And I’m not done.
The following two sentences appear along the top of the entry:
This article is about an employee. For those who believes in the doctrine of receptionism, see Receptionism.
There is so much to be said about these two sentences.
First, “This article is about an employee.” One specific employee? Perhaps Mr. Hampton Inn Suites? An odd choice of words, to say the least. And it sure as hell sounds like something the guy in the photograph would say based upon the nothing I actually know about him.
Then there is the grammar problem in the second sentence (“For those who believes”), but even more interesting is the implication that only those who believe in the doctrine of receptionism are permitted read about it.
For those who believes in the doctrine receptionism, see Receptionism?
If I don’t believe in receptionism, I can’t click?
Naturally, I clicked, dragging me further into the wormhole that is Wikipedia.
Receptionism, it turns out, is a Christian theological doctrine which states that in a Eucharist service, the bread and the wine do not transform into the actual body and blood of Jesus Christ until they enter a person’s mouth.
Apparently this has caused quite a bit of hullabaloo in various religious circles for reasons I don’t quite understand. Read for yourself and see if you can make any sense of it.
I’m left thinking this:
If you truly believe that bread and wine are magically transformed into the actual blood and body of a man who died more than 2,000 years ago, arguing over when this magic takes place amounts to little more than the splitting of hairs.
Thus ends my journey through Wikipedia for another day.
And just like that, Emma Stone is suddenly the least fortunate starlet in Hollywood.
Carrey claims that the video was supposed to be funny and was made to promote his new website, but the video is not funny.
Even if he was attempting to be funny, that does not make it any less creepy.
“I was trying to be funny” is never an excuse for acting like a dirt bag.
My editor directed me to this via Twitter yesterday.
It’s brilliant.
It is brilliant because embedded within the humor and silliness is pure truth.
It’s the kind of advertisement that I would love to try to write if my wife wasn’t cutting deals and negotiating with me every time I want to add a new job to my repertoire.
Recently, I have begun using my author appearances as an opportunity to encourage people to write. I still talk about my books, tell amusing stories from my life, answer questions from the audience, and try to avoid actually reading from my books (the one aspect of author appearances that I do not enjoy).
But somewhere in there, I take a moment to urge the audience members to write.
Sometimes I cajole. Sometimes I plead. Sometimes I admonish. A couple of times I’ve been downright mean about it. I never really know what I am going to say at one of these appearances until my mouth gets moving, but I always try to send the message that everyone, regardless of age, experience or ability, should be writing something.
And I always conclude by asking that if someone begins writing, he or she let me know about it. While I would love for the people who attend these events to read and love my books (and purchase them in bushels), I would almost prefer that they just go home and start writing.
Apparently they have. Or at least one person has.
During last spring’s Books on the Nightstand retreat in Vermont, I decided, on whim, to avoid talking about my books altogether in favor of taking a moment to urge the sizable audience to write. It may have been the first time I actually made this appeal to an audience, and I was happy that I did.
My talk can be found here on the Books on the Nightstand website as a part of their weekly podcast.
Earlier this week, a reader named Heather contacted me about an NPR story that had reminded her of Martin, the protagonist in Something Missing (I’ll share this interesting insight in a future post). After exchanging emails, I learned that she had attended the Books on the Nightstand retreat last spring and had taken my appeal to begin writing to heart.
Beginning on May 27th of this year, she began writing a blog called the One Thousand Words Project, where she attempts to write 1,000 words a day on a topic of her choice.
Her first post explains the genesis of the idea and the rules that she has assigned herself, and I must say that she has not made the process an easy one.
It’s quite impressive.
I spent some time reading her blog this morning and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Her writing is clear, insightful, compelling, and most important, she’s writing! Everyday!
She is writing fiction as well, and from the process that she has described to me through her emails, it sounds as if she is well on her way to beginning her first novel.
I could not be more thrilled.
It sounds silly to say that something like this is comparable to publishing my own novels, but it almost is. While decidedly less profitable than selling my own writing, I can’t tell you how rewarding it is to discover someone writing because of something I said.
And to be writing so well.
Perhaps it’s the teacher in me, always looking to encourage people and utilize their talents.
More likely it’s my terrified-of-death/need-to-leave-my-mark-on-the-world desire being satisfied in a small but extremely meaningful way.
Or maybe it’s my narcissistic tendencies bubbling to my admittedly shallow surface, hoping that Heather will hit the bestseller list someday and attribute a small margin of her success to me.
Maybe even decide to become my patron and fund my future as a writer.
Whatever the reason, I encourage you to visit Heather’s One Thousand Words Project and see what she has to say.
Even if I never profit from her efforts, I couldn’t be more happy and excited for her and the work that she is doing.
Some things should be sacred.
There may be no better argument in favor of editors, the editorial process, and even certain barriers to publication than this:
I haven’t watched any of these singing or talent shows since the first season of American Idol, but this clip from the Korean version of one of those shows is pretty stunning despite the language barrier and subtitles. Sometimes a story is so compelling that it surpasses any differences in language and culture.
And it reminds me of a saying that I have that goes something like this:
If you’re struggling with a a difficult situation and feeling like your problems are getting the better of you, get in your car and take a long drive. Before long you’ll come across some road kill. When you do, remind yourself that your life is still better than that mangled critter on the road. Then drive home and get back to work solving your problems.
I actually take this advice quite often.
But if road kill makes your stomach queasy, you can watch this clip instead and remind yourself that even the most difficult of situations can be overcome with hard work and persistence.
Best movie poster ever.
If you can’t tell why, tilt your screen down.
Then say, “Whoa.”
If you haven’t seen the movie, stop reading immediately and go do so. You will be the better for it, and this poster will make a lot more sense to you.
And though I rarely say this, I’d advise you see the movie before reading the book. This is one of those exceptionally rare instances in which the film is much better than the book.
I just watched three of the most gut-wrenching failed public marriage proposals ever. The most cringe-worthy moments you could ever imagine. For your enjoyment, I have posted them (along with one of the best public marriage proposals of all time) below.
As a veteran of a successful public marriage proposal, please allow me to offer a few simple rules in order to ensure that your public proposal does not end as tragically as it did for these gentlemen.
1. If you are nervous about proposing to your girlfriend, you should not be attempting a public marriage proposal. You probably shouldn’t be proposing marriage at all if you are nervous, but if you must, do so privately.
2. Though you will be framing your proposal in the form of a question, this should be a formality rather than a genuine request. You should be 100% certain of your girlfriend’s answer before attempting the public marriage proposal. This probably means that you have discussed the possibility of marriage with your girlfriend beforehand and even checked with her closest friends to ensure that she will be amenable to the offer.
3. If you are someone who does not speak effectively in public, do not attempt the public marriage proposal. Most women would prefer a heartfelt, well spoken, private moment to a stilted, sweaty, semi-articulate public proposal.
4. The public marriage proposal is not the time to try new things. If you are not a professional singer, do not attempt to sing during your proposal. If you are not a poet, do not propose via verse. You are asking a woman to marry you. Not some new, amateur version of yourself.
5. Most important, remember that you are also jeopardizing your girlfriend’s feelings and dignity when attempting the public marriage proposal. Placing a girl in the position of having to walk away from a man on bended knee in front of an audience is unnecessarily cruel and tragically stupid, so this is not the time for any fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants risk-taking. You are not the only one who can get hurt by a failed marriage proposal. Act with appropriate prudence.
These men did not:
And now, I give you one of the greatest public marriage proposal of all time:
This is one of those completely amazing, captivating and awe-inspiring performances that takes my breath away but then leaves me wondering to what purpose it serves other than to entertain me for a couple minutes.
It’s almost tragic.
This guy can do something that very few people in the world can do, and yet as far as I can tell, it’s only good for the occasional YouTube video.
Damn that Jon Stewart. He said the same thing I did, except he was a lot funnier.
Also, did you hear that Palin supporters are attempting to edit Paul Revere’s Wikipedia page in order to make her statements slightly more correct?
Like I said, it’s not the lack of understanding about Paul Revere’s ride that bothers me.
Even I thought that Revere shouted “The British are coming!” as he rode through Massachusetts on that fateful night.
Apparently he did not.
Instead, it’s Palin’s subsequent attempt to explain the mistake away with nonsense and her refusal to accept responsibility for a historical faux pas that upset me so.
Of course, it turns out that Sarah Palin may not be at fault. Several people have suggested that she may be suffering from the Dunning-Kruger effect, a condition by which unskilled people make poor decisions and reach erroneous conclusions, but their incompetence denies them the meta-cognitive ability to appreciate their mistakes.
Sounds about right.
She was recently spurned by Margaret Thatcher, who will reportedly reject any attempt by Palin to meet with her during Palin’s proposed visit to Britain on the basis that “Sarah Palin is nuts.”
Not a good week for the former governor from Alaska.
But I promise: A little honesty would have helped her considerably.
The Internet is full of hoaxes, so I tend to be exceedingly distrustful when it comes to things like this.
But these are just too good to be fake. I hope.
Last week I wrote about my opinion of the the celebrations following Osama Bin Laden’s death, and while I still believe that my assertions are correct, these kids sound a hell of a lot smarter than me:
This American Life also reported on the celebrations this week, framing them within the context of people born well before 9/11 (over 30-years old) and college age students who were still children on 9/11.
It makes for an interesting distinction.
Sucks when one of your core issues gets turned on its head and your find yourself suddenly sleeping with the enemy.
As I work on a semi-autobiographical book on productivity, I will keep this video in mind and attempt to avoid the pitfalls of self-indulgence:
Somehow, someway, this is funny as hell. But what was the pitch? “I’ll have a steamy romance with a unicorn, set to a an 80’s power ballad, and we’ll throw in a mix tape, too. It’ll be hilarious!”
How does that get the nod?
And yes, the word someway is an actual word.
I know. I was surprised, too.
