Justin Bieber and Albert Einstein in one place

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Digg,com, the social news networking site that allows users to determine which stories are the most popular, is an interesting and diverse site indeed, and it’s one of my favorites.

This morning’s top ranked story is a YouTube video of Justin Bieber (I heard this kid was young but MY GOD!) being struck in the head by a water bottle while onstage at a concert.

And the word water is spelled wrong in the title of the video. 

The second ranked story is a copy of Einstein’s 1939 letter to Roosevelt discussing the progress of the US nuclear weapons program and his fears that the Germans were also working on developing a nuclear bomb. 

The third story is this cartoon:

Out Of Sync

You can see why this site has appealed to me for so long. 

My favorite gift

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Mark Oppenheimer writes an interesting article about the possible end of the book as a romantic gift with the advent of the e-book.

So what will you do, Kindle generation, when you cannot tell which of the quiet boys holding the e-reader on the subway is engrossed by the latest, predictable legal thriller, and which one by a cheery, long-forgotten Laurie Colwin novel? If by some chance you do end up with the right one, what do you buy him a month later, when it is time for that first, tentative, not-too-expensive present—a gift certificate for a free download?

This brought to mind the first gift that my wife ever gave me, less than a week into our relationship. It was a copy of Kate DiCamillo’s The Tale of Despereaux, a book that I simply adore. It’s the story of a nonconformist mouse who believes that his love for the light, for books and for a human Princess can overcome any of his rodent limitations.

There’s a quote from this book that is one of my favorites  in all of literature, and in my experience, it is one of the most accurate things that an author has ever said:

“Reader, you must know that an interesting fate (sometimes involving rats, sometimes not) awaits almost everyone, mouse or man, who does not conform.”

These words are at the the heart of my third book, currently in manuscript form, and they will likely be included as an opening quote.

But the best part about my copy of the book is the inscription that Elysha wrote. It reads:

For Matt,

Swimming in wonderment and possibility and with an eye to tomorrow…

- Elysha

It doesn’t get any better than that. Less than a week after our first date, I received this from a girl who I already wanted to marry. My heart soared, and it still does each and every time I read her inscription.

Someday I will pass this book down to my daughter, and with luck, it will remain in our family for generations.

You simply can’t write things like that on a Kindle.

A little consistency, please?

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A few years ago, I was introduced to the fabulousness of this.

The only problem with this device is that no one can agree on a name. The list of names that I have personally heard used for this device includes:

Flash drive
Jump drive
Memory stick
Memory key
USB drive
Pocket drive
Pen drive
Thumb drive

I don’t care what name we decide upon (though thumb drive, pen drive and memory stick strike me as especially stupid), but can we just all agree on one?

Weiner envy

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Bestselling author Jennifer Weiner’s iPhone app was released today.  It looks excellent. 

But I am annoyed.

I created an iPhone app about six months ago that brings all my content into one convenient location on the phone.  Blog posts, Twitter feed, unpublished chapters, book club material, and more.  But I had to design and build the app on my own, using an online service, a little bit of coding, and some duct tape to make it work.  It would appear that Jen’s app was designed by her publisher, Simon and Schuster, and it also appears that they brought their considerable resources to the endeavor. 

Frankly, it makes mine look like a joke.

Of course, Jen is a best selling author with a bushel of novels and a billion Twitter followers, whereas I have one book in stores and a second coming out in a couple weeks, and neither one has been a bestseller so far. 

But what annoys me the most is that Apple rejected my app, declaring it not relevant enough for inclusion in the iTunes store.

Not relevant. 

If you have an Android phone, you can find my app in the Android marketplace, but for the millions of iPhone owners out there, myself including, Steve Jobs and his minions have deemed me irrelevant.

Jerks.

Yesterday I was unable to sign up for an appointment at the Genius Bar of my local Apple store because my last name was deemed “vulgar and offensive.”  I had to use a fake name in order to secure an appointment.

What the hell does Apple have against me?

I think Jennifer Weiner is fantastic and funny and most deserving of the acclaim that she has received for her work.  On the literary mountaintop, she is somewhere near the summit while I am still entrenched in the foothills surrounding the mountain. 

But is it too much to ask to at least be deemed relevant?

I used to hope that UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO would become a bestseller because of the impact that it would have on my career and my future work.

And it would be nice to know that so many people enjoyed my story.

But now I’m hoping to hit the bestseller list out of spite, just so I can send an email to Steve Jobs letting him know how relevant I am.

While politely asking for him to reconsider my shoddily-designed iPhone app for his marketplace.

What does she want from me?

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In the latest edition of New York Magazine, Doree Shafrir writes about how her opinion of some people take a plunge once she begins to follow them on Twitter:

“…people I once looked up to, and thought were interesting and smart — who I have been forced to unfollow with extreme prejudice, because Twitter made me hate them. What Twitter has laid bare in a rather uncomfortable way is that people you may like and admire in real life can be total idiots when they are allowed to write anything, anytime in 140 characters or less.”

I understand this reaction very well.  I have also unfollowed celebrities, authors and other news makers who I thought were going to be full of witty, pithy and amusing insights but instead proved to be annoying or stupid. 

However, I take objection to Safrir’s criticism of authors who utilize Twitter (perhaps because it sounds as if she attacking me directly).  She writes:

“Or the author whose books I enjoy, who posts constant updates about the progress of her next novel. Don't people understand that such tweets are best kept to oneself? Even worse are authors whose books have just come out, as their feeds become overwhelmed by links to reviews, at-replies to people who have reviewed them, tiresome reminders to buy their book, etc.”

As an author, I assume that the reason a person follows me on Twitter is to learn more about my life as an author.  Is it wrong to think that a reader would want to hear about the status of the latest manuscript and learn more about my writing process and publishing in general?

Otherwise, why did he or she follow me in the first place?

Granted, the goal of my Twitter feed is to do more than simply post about the latest machinations of my manuscripts, and if that was all that I posed, I could see the feed getting a little tiresome.  But I also write about my daily life, my opinions on a variety of subjects and my thoughts on the work of other authors in order to allow readers to get to know me better as a person.  

Martin Amis once said that “people are more interested in novelists than in novels.”  Based upon the questions that I receive at my appearances, this is true.  There are more questions asked about me than my books by a wide margin. 

For example, a book store owner just wrote to me about an upcoming appearance, saying that she and her customers have been trying to guess at the kind of personality I might have and have been unable to reach consensus.

Nothing about the books or the characters.  These people are interested in getting to know me.  

I’d like to think that if they were following me on Twitter or reading my blog, they might have a good idea of my personality already. 

But still, I post about my books, my manuscripts, my revision process and yes, I even post the positive reviews that my books are receiving.  And as the release date for UNEXPECTEDLY MILO draws near, I will also remind my followers that SOMETHING MISSING and UNEPXECTEDLY, MILO, purchased as a set, make a great gift.

But isn’t this what one would expect when choosing to follow an author on Twitter?

Seriously, what does Sadrir expect?

Teachers and novelists on Facebook

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The West Hartford, Connecticut School district is considering a new policy that would allow administrators to discipline teachers if they post photographs on websites like Facebook that reflect poorly on their in-school work. “The policy would be aimed specifically at photos on Facebook that depict drunken behavior that could reflect poorly on the classroom,” according the the report.

While I am not entirely against this policy, knowing full well that there are instances in which a careful balance between First Amendment rights and occupational responsibilities must be achieved, this seems like a policy that would be fraught with possible inconsistencies and almost impossible to enforce.

In terms of enforcement, the majority of Facebook users keep their information private, meaning that only their friends have access to photographs, status updates, and other data posted online. If a teacher posts photographs of excessive alcohol use from a bachelor party, and those photos can only be accessed by his friends, is this teacher in violation of the policy?  And if so, why, since he has limited their distribution in order to ensure that students cannot gain access to them?

More importantly, how would the school district ever know about these images since administrators would presumably have no access to the photographs either.

Also, what happens if a teacher is tagged in a photograph by a third party?  For example, a teacher vacations in Bermuda with her family, and while there, her sister takes a photograph of the teacher drinking excessively one evening at a bar. The sister then posts the photographs on her Facebook page and tags her sister, the teacher, allowing users to search on her name and locate the photograph on Facebook.

Is this teacher culpable for photographs posted by others?

Does the policy limit what a teacher can post online or what anyone can post online about the teacher?

Thankfully, I do not drink, so there are no photographs of me engaged in drunken behavior of any kind. Go to my Facebook page and you’ll find photographs of Clara and Elysha and little more. However, it seems as if 90% of all photographs posted to Facebook are taken inside bars and are chock full of depictions of drunken behavior. As a result, this could be a problem for many teachers who enjoy a perfectly legal night out at the local saloon from time to time and (for reasons I have never understood) make it a point of documenting the evening with photographic evidence.

Then there’s the issue of subjectivity when applying this policy to each individual. Who gets to decide what is a depiction of drunken behavior and what is ordinary social drinking? What if a teacher posts a photograph of herself drinking champagne at her wedding among her many other wedding photos? Would this be considered a depiction of drunken behavior?

What if a teacher posts a photograph from an evening at Fenway Park, and he has a beer in his hand. Does this depict drunken behavior? Even if the teacher eventually drinks ten beers and is thrown out of the park in the seventh inning, would a single photograph of a single beer be enough to depict drunken behavior?

In fact, how could any single image ever depict drunken behavior?  Assuming that a person cannot be depicted drinking more than one alcoholic beverage at a time, how could any image truly depict drunken behavior?  Unless the Facebook page contains a series of photographs from the night depicting alcohol consumption, or unless the teacher is wearing a lampshade, hanging from a chandelier, and drooling from the corners of his mouth, what type of photograph would ever provide definitive evidence of drunken behavior?

And what happens when this policy begins creeping into other areas, which is my primary concern. While I normally dismiss the slippery slope argument as illogical nonsense, what happens when the standards applied to Facebook are also applied to the author who publishes novels containing content not entirely appropriate for children?

Is a status update laced with profanity or sexually explicit references any different than a novel using the same kind of language?

Once again, I thankfully avoid all profanity when writing online, whether I’m writing on Facebook, Twitter or my blog. I do this because I am not terribly enamored with profanity and use it sparingly in my own life (though considerably more frequently on the golf course). I find it crude, simplistic and lazy. It certainly has a purpose in life (the use of profanity has actually been shown to reduce pain), but not in my everyday speech.

Some of my characters, however, do not feel the same way. They swear, they drink excessively and they have sex. As a novelist, will my subject matter and vocabulary be limited by my teaching career?

Probably not.

If Updike or Roth were teachers, would their school districts have prevented them from using profanity in their novels?

Wally Lamb is a high school English teacher in Connecticut, and his novels include sex and profanity. Did his school district attempt to censor him?

Of course not.

But when policies like this proposed Facebook policy are put into place, I worry that it might be just the first step on the road to greater censorship.

I understand a school district’s desire to ensure that its teachers are acting as role models for their students. I agree that photographs depicting excessive drinking and other questionable activities do not belong on a public Facebook page. But if these photographs are made private or the photographs are made public by the third party, then I believe that the school district has no role in disciplinary action.

After all, this proposed policy seeks to curb online behavior. Not overall behavior. If a teacher wants to drink excessively on a weekend camping trip or attend a bachelor party in a strip club (another activity that I have thankfully never engaged in), the school district should have no control over these choices. Teachers are certainly role models, but in their private lives, they are also human.

As long as teachers keep those excessively private moments in their lives private, all will be well.

But I worry about how far the heavy hand of censorship may someday extend. I love my job as a teacher and I love my career as a writer, and in my mind, never the twain shall meet.

But could there come a day when a school district decides that the book a teacher has written, the sculpture that she has sculpted, the song that he has recorded, or the painting that she has painted is just as inappropriate as a Facebook photograph or status update?

I certainly hope not.

Please explain Mr. Jobs

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When entering a new phone number into a contact list on the iPhone, the user is given the choice of identifying the origin of the number as:

Work, home, mobile, main, fax, pager, other or iPhone.

I love my iPhone, and thanks to the excellent 3G service that we enjoy in Connecticut, I have very few problems with the device.  But this is one. 

Simply put, it’s obnoxious and ridiculous for Apple to make iPhone an option in the contact list. 

While I understand the value of differentiating between a work, home or mobile number, who chooses the iPhone option over the mobile one when entering a contact?

What’s the benefit?

“Hold on, honey.  Let me dial Jack’s iPhone.”

“Oh, look. Jane is calling me from her iPhone.”

Seriously, Mr. Jobs. What the hell were you thinking?

High-five

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My wife has been trying to bring back the high-five ever since I’ve known her.

She’s also been trying to rid the world of bumper stickers, but that’s a story for another day.  

In honor of her unwavering support of the high-five, here’s a surprisingly amusing video about the etiquette of the high-five.

Spite and anger make it happen

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In the past year, I’ve pondered launching a blog dedicated to the signs that restaurants use on their restroom doors and a blog dedicated to 101 uses for an odd decanter that I received during a Yankee swap. 

While I’d like to think that both will eventually happen, they have not yet materialized.

Perhaps this is because there is not not enough spite and anger behind these two ideas, which is more than I can say for the man who created a website dedicated to 101 uses of his ex-wife’s wedding dress.

He writes:

My wife of 12 years recently packed up her belongings and moved out of our home. After her car was loaded I couldn't help but notice that a single item remained in her section of our closet, her wedding dress.

"You forgot something" I told her.

She replied "And what's that?".

"Your wedding dress", I said.

"Yeah, I am not taking that" was her response.

"What do you expect me to do with it?" I asked.

And to that she replied, "Whatever the $%^@# you want".

And this is what I did.....

So far he’s used the dress for things like a pasta strainer, a gas cap and a grill cover. 

Check it out.  It’s hilarious.

No secrets required

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A quote from Nora Ephron, via her mother:

When you slip on a banana peel, people laugh at you. But when you tell people that you slipped on a banana peel, it's your laugh, so you become the hero, rather than the victim, of the joke.

I love this. Obviously she is speaking to the idea that it’s better to have people laugh with you than laugh at you, but I think there’s more here. It also speaks to transparency.

A willingness to live in the open.

The blessed degradation of culturally-imposed privacy standards.

Courage.

A desire to share what might have been considered excessively personal just ten years ago.

I am often amused at the stern warnings, befuddled stares and nostalgic laments from people older than me (and sometimes younger than me) who find the willingness and propensity of people to use blogs, Twitter, Facebook and other social media to disseminate their lives both disturbing and alarming.

Why would you share so much of your life with readers on a blog?

Why tweet your random thoughts to the world?

Why divulge secrets and potential embarrassments to anyone who has an Internet connection?

Why put your life on such transparent display?

Hasn’t this desire to write about anything that comes into your mind already hurt you already?

While I know it’s not necessarily true, these people remind me of the same one who once sent pregnant teenagers to convents to have their babies, far away from the prying eyes of society.

The same people who kept JFK’s indiscretions under wraps during his Presidency.

The same people who attempt to push their homosexual children into the closet.

The same people who allow pedophile priests go unpunished rather than expose them and their church for their criminals behavior.

The same people who perpetuate the kind of family secrets upon which so many novels are built.

The time for these kinds of secrets has passed. It’s no longer necessary to cloak your indiscretions, errors, and divergent thinking from the rest of the world. While no one is certainly required to do so, the time for frowning upon such action is no more. And though there are still a great many people in the world who oppose such a view, they are rapidly losing power and favor in a more connected and transparent world.

I am often told that employers are now using Facebook and Twitter to evaluate a potential employee’s candidacy, and while also true, the day will come, not very far off, when these hiring managers, human resource experts and the like will be using these social networks as well and will understand the dynamics of such environments.

The fear, the stigma and the rush to judgment will end as people will be free to share their ideas, their predilections and their criticisms to the world without condemnation.

So no, I did not slip on a banana peel today, nor did I experience anything especially embarrassing or humorous, but when I do, I will be sure to follow Nora Ephron and her mother’s advice and share, share away.

Working for free

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All of my New Year's resolutions pertain to personal goals that, if achieved, will yield a happier, healthier, more financially successful version of myself. 

Not a single speck of altruism can be found amongst any of my sixteen goals, and I thought this was just fine.  

But it turns out that other people are more charitable than me. 

One person has decided that his New Year’s resolution is to make an infographic for every episode of This American Life ever made. “The idea is to expand and add context to the stories and information contained in the shows.”

I’m sorry, but I cannot understand the desire to do this much work without some sort of monetary compensation.  I admire the effort, but I cannot comprehend it.   

Unless, of course, this crafty and charitable individual could have begun this project as a means of garnering attention and bringing customers to his design business, and if this is the case, well played, sir.  This American Life has already linked to his page from their website and are undoubtedly driving traffic his way.

Either way, I adore This American Life and greatly appreciate the infographics.

A blogging dilemma

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When I am finished writing a post on this blog, many things happen. 

First, I reference the post in my Twitter feed, in order to drive readers to my blog. 

That Twitter post feeds into my Facebook profile as a status update, driving still more readers to my blog. 

At the same time, the post is also popping up on my Amazon.com author’s page as well as in my Goodreads.com profile.

It also appears on my Android app and on several lesser known sites. 

That is what happened to yesterday’s post on coffee, entitled Simplicity. 

Since posting here is what happened:

I received emails from three readers who wanted to share their own coffee stories with me. 

Two people commented on the story in Facebook.

The tweet that referenced the post was re-tweeted twice, and I received a direct message through Twitter about it as well from still another reader.

One person commented on the post on the Goodreads site and one person emailed me about it via Goodreads.

One person posted a comment on the actual blog.   

See what happened?  If all of these people had actually come to my blog and posted their comment in the original post, there would be at least a dozen comments on a the blog right now and conversation on the topic would have likely ensured. 

Instead, the comments were fragmented across several platforms, so the only conversations that were taking place were one-on-one discussions with me.

And this happens every day, with every post that I write. 

What should I do?  Twitter, Facebook and the rest all drive traffic to my blog and increase my readership, but at the same time, the use of these platforms segments my audience, keeping them from interacting with one another and forming as community. 

Thoughts?

The price of an e-book

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While I continue to wonder why the six major publishing houses don’t get together and produce their own game-changing e-book reader that they control, I also think it’s critical that they do a better job of explaining the finances of of the e-book to the general public.  

The industry cannot survive if readers believe that an e-book should cost a dollar. More has to be said about the true cost of producing a book, electronic or otherwise.

The New York Times did a decent job of explaining it about a week ago, but the publishing houses must take the lead in promoting a better understanding to the average reader.

Sometimes it feels as if the publishing industry is akin to the music and automotive industries.  Rather than embracing technology, investing in the digital age and getting ahead of the story, they seem to be more interested in clinging to outdated models.  In discussions with various people in the industry, I am constantly surprised by their lack of understanding when it comes to social networks, online media, and technology in general.

Just three years ago, I was copyediting SOMETHING MISSING by hand, using a green pen.  When it came time to edit UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO, I was doing so digitally, but this was something new for my publisher.  Prior to a year or so ago, hundreds of pages of manuscript were still being shipped between editors and authors, full of red and green marks. 

This struck me as utterly bizarre, especially considering my friends and my agent had already made their revision suggestions digitally and had been doing so since I had begun writing the book.  Beginning the editing process with my publishing house was like stepping back into the Stone Age.

In a perfect world, or at least in my perfect world, my publisher would hire me as their chief technologist, responsible for informing and infusing the business with the technology required to push them into the forefront of the digital age. 

I think I’d be pretty good at it.  But perhaps they already have a well-qualified individual working hard on this. 

I certainly hope so. 

Mystery fruit

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My wife and I finally found a grocery app for the iPhone that works: Grocery IQ. 

With this brilliant bit of code, we can update a grocery list on one phone and have that item appear on the list of the other phone.  Why it took so long to create such an app is beyond me, but I am pleased that it has finally arrived. 

The app also allows me to scan barcodes in order to add items to the list.  Last week I finished the last of the oatmeal that I eat for lunch.  Still in my classroom, I scanned the barcode on the box of oatmeal, and instantly that item was added to the list on my phone as well as my wife’s list.  Later that day she went shopping and bought my oatmeal, even though we hadn’t spoken about it. 

Brilliant.  Huh?

Just one problem: The app also sends a text message when an item is marked as purchased on the list.  Yesterday I was in Stop & Shop, making my way through the grocery list, when I received a text from my wife:

I keep getting texts from grocery iq telling me what a good job you’re doing! Don’t get the aquaphor.  That’s for BJ’s. 

Then I received another text after clicking off the last item on the list:

Nice!  You got everything!

Talk about Big Brother.  Even though I had nothing to hide and no objection over my wife knowing where I was or what I was doing, I couldn’t help but feel like someone was looking over my shoulder, following me through the store, monitoring my every purchase decision. 

Do I really want the app to send a text to my wife every time that I make a purchase and tick it off the list?  Do I really need this kind of constant, up-to-the-second surveillance in my life? 

I’m not sure. 

And my wife was wrong in assuming that I had gotten everything on the list.  One of the items that I was supposed to pick up was a mango.  Though my daughter eats mango all the time, I have no idea what the damn fruit looks like and trusted the signage in the produce aisle to assist me. 

Instead, I came home with this:

image

Does anyone know what it might be?

The demise of the book tour and the rise of its replacement

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The Los Angeles Times published a piece on how book tours have transformed over the years, and especially now in this economy. 

Author Carolyn Kellogg writes:

“As the business of publishing changes, book tours increasingly look like bad risks. ‘In 99.9% of cases," says Peter Miller, director of publicity at Bloomsbury USA, "you can't justify the costs through regular book sales.

Book tours used to be about local media. "You would go to these places to get reviews, interviews, TV and radio," Miller explains, but with print outlets closing down and cutting coverage and new technologies enabling long-distance video interviews, "it is becoming less important to do that kind of tour."

I’ve heard this sentiment echoed by at least two novelists who told me that they didn’t think their national book tours did much in terms of generating sales.  Instead, it would seem that well-placed, positive reviews, an adept use of digital media and some good old fashioned luck play more important roles in the success of a book.

Of course, writing a great book helps, too.

While a whirlwind national book tour sounds fun for someone like me who enjoys speaking to large groups of people, my obsession with my daughter and my desire to spend more time with her and my wife has me somewhat pleased that the book tours of the past have been scaled back.  As my publicist and I begin planning appearances for the release of UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO this summer, we’re limiting them to New England and New York.  While there are bookstores around the country who have inquired about my availability, the cost of such a book tour, in combination with my desire to remain close to home, have forced us to politely decline these requests. 

But in place of the old-fashioned book tour is the Internet.  This blog, in combination with my Twitter account, my Facebook page, my Flickr feed, and even the Android app that I designed to compile my online content have all helped me reach more readers in a week than your average book appearance.

This week alone (and eight months after the release of SOMETHING MISSING), I was contacted by seven different readers, three booksellers, three librarians requesting appearances, and two bloggers, one of whom I am sending a galley of UNEXPECTEDLY, MILO to so she can review the book and conduct an author interview. She loved SOMETHING MISSING and has been kind enough to say (more than once) that the book did not receive enough attention from the blogosphere upon its release.  She wants to change that for my next book (provided she likes it, of course) and I’m thrilled to help her in any way possible.  

I also picked up half a dozen Twitter followers this week (including two booksellers) became friends with three new readers on Facebook, and was invited to attend two different book club meetings about my book.    

All of this in one week, and this week was not unusual. 

Compared to the book tours that have been described to me, this week was much more successful in terms of reaching out to readers and building a brand. 

Sure, it would have been nice to appear on The Today Show or Oprah (are you listening, Ms. Winfrey?), and yes, I would love to travel the country someday, meeting with scores of readers and talking about my book and the process of writing.  But at the same time, I also love coming home each afternoon to my wife, my daughter, my pets, and the all-too-short evenings that I spend writing.

For now, a local book tour and a strong online presence is just find by me.

My own Android app, plus SOMETHING MISSING on the iPhone

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In the latest digital news related to SOMETHING MISSING and my writing in general, there are now applications available to iPhone and Android users who might be interested:

First, and most exciting, my wife and I designed an Android app that compiles all of my online content into one, easy –to-access location.  My blogs, my Twitter feed, my Flickr feed and more can all be accessed through this app, entitled Matthew Dicks.  

Easy to remember.

I don’t have an Android phone, so I’ve only been able to view the app through the design software, so if you happen to download the app, which is free, please let me know what you think.  Changes are still possible if you find any bugs.  

The iPhone version of this app should be ready in about two weeks.  It’s already been designed and submitted, but Apple’s approval process is considerably longer than Android. 

But if you have an iPhone and are dying for some of my content, the digital version of SOMETHING MISSING is currently available as an app for your iPhone.  You can purchase it in the iTunes music store or through CNET or Applolicious.

I’m sort of a CNET geek, so I was pretty excited when I saw that the book could be purchased through their website.