Resolution update: October 2019

Each month I review the progress of my yearly goals and report on that progress as a means of holding myself accountable.

Here are the results for October.

__________________________________

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Two cars drove by me at dangerously high speeds last night while trick-or-treating, but I managed to avoid getting squished.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I gained a pound in October. I suck.

I’ve lost 7 pounds in total.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Done!

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Not done.

I’m in physical therapy for two shoulders and an elbow, so push-ups, sit ups, and planks are on hold.

I also stopped sit-ups, which probably wasn’t necessary.

5. Do burpees three days a week.

Not done. My physical therapist told me to stop the burpees. Maybe permanently.

Darn it.

WRITING CAREER

6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2019.

Writing has finally commenced. It’s going very slowly as I write and re-write the first ten pages.

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I’m still working on three different children’s books. I like one very much.

8. Write a memoir.

Work continues.

9. Write a new screenplay.

No progress, but I have two very good ideas.

10. Write a musical.

No progress.

11. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

I submitted a piece to the NY Times Modern Love column in April. I received word last month that it was not accepted.

One down. Four to go.

12. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

13. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

I spent July strategically smiling in hopes that the biofeedback that a smile sends to the brain would alter my mood positively. I wrote about the results of that experiment in October.

This month I’m creating a vision board for myself. I think this is a ridiculous exercise with no discernible benefit, but people seem to think that the inspiration that a vision board provides is useful.

We’ll see.

I need to experiment with one more behavior before the end of the year. Suggestions?

14. Increase my storytelling newsletter subscriber base to 3,000.

DONE! 39 new subscribers in October for a total of 923 new subscribers in 2019. My list now stands at 3,033 subscribers.

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

15. Write at least six letters to my father.

No letters written in October. Two written so far this year.

16. Write 100 letters in 2019.

Four letters written in October. 28 letters overall.

Still have a lot of writing to do before the end of the year.

17. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

Days away from completion thanks to a kind, generous, and amazing human being who has been working on this project. I am so excited.

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.

DONE! One show produced in October. A solo show at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health.

A total of 12 shows produced so far in 2019.

19. Begin selling Speak Up merchandise at our events and/or online.

DONE! We began selling tee shirts and totes at our live podcast recording, and we’ll be selling again at our upcoming shows.

Next step is to make it available online. Suggestions?

20. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

DONE! And what a strange turn of events!

After pitching myself to five TEDx conferences and getting nominated for a sixth with no luck, THREE TEDx organizers invited me to participate in their conferences n October.

I’ll be speaking at TEDx Berkshires in May of 2020.

I was invited to speak at both TEDx Trinity College and TEDx United World College in Changshu, China. Tragically, I had to turn these down due to scheduling conflicts.

21. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

DONE! I attended two Moth StorySLAMs - Housing Works in NYC and Oberon in Boston - in the month of October.

This brings my total to 20 events so far.

22. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

DONE! I won Moth StorySLAMs at Housing Works in NYC and at Oberon in Boston in October, bringing my total for 2019 to eight wins.

So far in 2019, I’ve won two slams in NYC, one slam in Seattle, and five slams in Boston.

45 victories in all.

23. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I finished in second place by a tenth of a point in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in January.

I finished in fourth place in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in March, but I think I might’ve told my best story ever.

I competed but did not win the NYC Moth GrandSLAM in June. Silent scoring (I’m not a fan) prevents me from knowing how I placed.

I may be competing in one more Moth GrandSLAM in NYC this year depending on the timing of the GrandSLAM and the number of storytellers in the queue ahead of me.

24. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Four new episodes released in October.

A total of 36 episodes so far in 2019.

Listen to our latest here or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

25. Perform stand up at least four times in 2019. 

No stand up performed in October.

Three down. Three to go.

26. Develop and teach a Storytelling Master Class, in which participants have an opportunity to tell at least two stories over the course of the day  or tell a story and then retell it based on feedback.

DONE in June! It went surprisingly well, and I’ve been receiving requests to do another.

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

No progress.

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

I wrote to Marc early in January, asking for him to consider me as a guest.

I wrote again in August.

No response yet.

I’ve also officially requested that my publicist assist me in this endeavor.

If you know Marc Maron, or know someone who knows Marc or know someone who knows Marc’s producer or booker, please let me know. I know that Marc and I would have an amazing conversation, and it’s currently my biggest dream to get on his show.

NEW PROJECTS

29. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

No progress.

30. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

No progress.

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

We received our estimate from the painters. Depending on other expenses, we will likely be painting several rooms this fall, at which point things can be hung on the walls.

32. Renovate our first floor bathroom.

Work has commenced.

33. Organize our second floor bathroom.

Nearly complete. Huzzah.

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2019.

I made one meal for the family in October.

Seven down. Five to go.

35. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

I had a tentative date, but it looks like it will no longer work.

I’ll be trying for a new date in the spring of 2020.

36. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2019.

I rode my bike with the kids 3 times in October for a total of 13 times in all.

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2019 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I did not comment on physical appearance in October.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2019.

DONE! Two more surprised in October and eight surprises so far.

In October, I surprised Elysha with a weekend getaway to Dorset, Vermont, informing her on a Wednesday night that I was taking here “somewhere” on Friday for the weekend. We had a fantastic time.

I also skipped the Patriots game on Sunday when my friend and seat mate was too ill to go (and it was pouring rain), so I drove home from Kripalu instead of straight to the game. I determined her location and appeared in aisle 4 of Whole Foods around 1:30 PM rather than the 11:00 PM arrival that was expected.

Added to these were the following surprises in 2019:

  • I mailed a card to Elysha’s school, telling her how I much I love her.

  • I mailed a second card - much more clever - to Elysha’s school, telling her how I much I love her.

  • I purchased a a Pusheen cross-stitch kit and gave it to her on a day she was giving surprises to the kids.

  • I hired a landscaper to install a garden plot in our backyard, which she found when came home. She spent the summer growing vegetables for the first time.

  • While vacationing at Disney World, I surprised Elysha by scheduling a second dessert party and VIP viewing for the Magic Kingdom fireworks. We had enjoyed this treat on our first night in Disney, but it was expensive. But the fireworks were also our favorite part of the entire trip, so I decided to surprise Elysha by repeating the experience on the last night of the trip, regardless of the expense.

  • While meandering through Pike’s Place Market in Seattle, Elysha spotted a pair of earrings that she loved but thought were too expensive. When she wasn’t looking, I took a photo of the earrings and grabbed a business card from the designer. Then I emailed the designer and asked that the earrings in the attached photo be shipped to me. I had hoped to have the earrings on her desk for the first day of school, but they arrived two days late, so I gave them to her two days later. She was quite surprised to see them again.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I’ve got a window guy now in the event we manage to cobble together the funds for this much needed project.

40. Clean the basement. 

Almost done! I filled a dumpster and need another, but the remaining stuff to throw away is in an area, organized and ready to go. Some final organizational issues need to be addressed, but it is so much better. So close to being done.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

Just two rounds of golf in October, plus my first lesson with my driver. I’m striking the ball much better, but I still have yet to set a personal best.

42. Play poker at least six times in 2019.

Four games played in 2019. Two to go.

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

Two days spent together so far. We have another day planned in a week.

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: September 2019

Each month I review the progress of my yearly goals and report on that progress as a means of holding myself accountable.

Here are the results for September.

__________________________________

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Super alive.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I lost 2 pounds in September.

I’ve lost 8 pounds in total.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Done! Admittedly it was still mostly fruit (lots of apples) and French fries, but I did it!

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done. Planks are getting surprisingly easy except for the elbow and shoulder pain. I’ve started physical therapy, and I may need to stop push-ups for a while.

5. Do burpees three days a week.

I did 3-4 burpees per day, 3 times each week in September. My shoulder really, really hurts, and now my elbow hurts, too. I blamed it on the burpees, but apparently it’s my golf lessons.

I started physical therapy yesterday. My therapist told me to stop the burpees.

I love her so much.

WRITING CAREER

6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2019.

Writing has finally commenced.I won’t finish before the end of the year, but I’ll pretend that I might.

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I’m currently working on three different children’s books. I like one very much.

8. Write a memoir.

Work continues.

9. Write a new screenplay.

No progress, but I have a good idea. Maybe two, now.

10. Write a musical.

No progress.

11. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

I submitted a piece to the NY Times Modern Love column in April. I received word last month that it was not accepted.

One down. Four to go.

12. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

13. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

I spent July strategically smiling in hopes that the biofeedback that a smile sends to the brain would alter my mood positively. I’ll be writing about the results this month.

I’m in need of two more behaviors to adopt.

Suggestions?

14. Increase my storytelling newsletter subscriber base to 3,000.

39 new subscribers in September for a total of 884 new subscribers in 2019. My list now stands at 2,994 subscribers. Just 6 subscribers away from the goal!

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

15. Write at least six letters to my father.

No letters written in September. Two written so far this year.

16. Write 100 letters in 2019.

No letters written in September. A few surprise projects have taken away much of my time.

24 letters overall. Still have a lot of writing to do before the end of the year.

17. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

A kind, generous, and amazing human being has begun work on this project. Entering the final stages, too.

I am so excited.

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.

DONE! One show produced in September. A total of 11 shows produced so far in 2019.

19. Begin selling Speak Up merchandise at our events and/or online.

Done! We began selling tee shirts and totes at our live podcast recording, and we’ll be selling again at our upcoming shows.

Next step is to make it available online. Suggestions?

20. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

Done! I’ve pitched myself to five TEDx conferences and was nominated for a sixth.

All have now passed on my pitches. No one wants me.

I’ll just keep pitching.

21. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

DONE! Elysha and I attended one Moth Mainstage in New Haven in September.

This brings my total to 18 events so far.

22. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

DONE! So far in 2019, I’ve won two slams in NYC, one slam in Seattle, and three slams in Boston.

43 victories in all.

23. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I finished in second place by a tenth of a point in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in January.

I finished in fourth place in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in March, but I think I might’ve told my best story ever.

I competed but did not win the NYC Moth GrandSLAM in June. Silent scoring (I’m not a fan) prevents me from knowing how I placed.

I may be competing in one more Moth GrandSLAM in NYC this year depending on the timing of the GrandSLAM and the number of storytellers in the queue ahead of me.

24. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Three new episodes released in September (along with a rerun).

A total of 32 episodes so far in 2019.

Listen to our latest here or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

25. Perform stand up at least four times in 2019. 

No stand up performed in September.

Three down. Three to go.

26. Develop and teach a Storytelling Master Class, in which participants have an opportunity to tell at least two stories over the course of the day  or tell a story and then retell it based on feedback.

Done in June! It went surprisingly well, and I’ve been receiving requests to do another.

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

No progress.

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

I wrote to Marc early in January, asking for him to consider me as a guest.

I wrote again in August.

No response yet.

I’ve also officially requested that my publicist assist me in this endeavor.

If you know Marc Maron, or know someone who knows Marc or know someone who knows Marc’s producer or booker, please let me know. I know that Marc and I would have an amazing conversation, and it’s currently my biggest dream to get on his show.

NEW PROJECTS

29. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

No progress.

30. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

No progress.

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

We received our estimate from the painters. Depending on other expenses, we will likely be painting several rooms this fall, at which point things can be hung on the walls.

32. Renovate our first floor bathroom.

Work will commence THIS MONTH. And not a moment too soon. The tile floor is falling apart.

33. Organize our second floor bathroom.

Nearly complete. I did it. Huzzah.

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2019.

I made one meal for the family in September.

Six down. Six to go.

35. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

I have a tentative date set. Attempting to confirm attendees now.

36. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2019.

I rode my bike with the kids 4 times in September for a total of 10 times in all.

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2019 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I did not comment on physical appearance in September.

I also explained my policy to my new batch of students, and once again, they loved the policy and supported it fully. Adults often this this policy is crazy. Children always love it.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2019.

DONE! Six surprises so far with two more still in the works, including one BIG ONE!

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I’ve got a window guy now in the event we manage to cobble together the fund for this much needed project.

40. Clean the basement. 

Almost done! I filled a dumpster and need another, but the remaining stuff to throw away is in an area, organized and ready to go. Some final organizational issues need to be addressed, but it is so much better. So close to being done.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I started taking lessons this summer, and I’ve committed myself to constant practice. The results are really beginning to show.

Last weekend, I bogied six of nine holes. This did not result in an excellent score, or even a score close to my all time best, but it represents increasing consistency.

I also have a new putter, so it’s been a process of getting my putting back to where it once was, and my short game is a disaster with my new swing, bit that is improving, too.

Sadly, my lessons and new swing have sent me to physical therapy. A new swing causes muscles and joints to stretch and strain in new ways, which has resulted in a lot of pain.

But pain is nothing when the ball is hit well.

42. Play poker at least six times in 2019.

Three games played in September. Four games played in 2019.

Two to go.

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

Two days spent together so far. I’ve attempted a couple other days but schedules didn’t line up. Still trying like hell. I miss the guy.

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution Update: August 2019

Each month I review the progress of my yearly goals and report on that progress as a means of holding myself accountable.

Here are the results for August.

__________________________________

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Dodged several bees. Still alive.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I lost 0 pounds in August because I suck.

I’ve lost 6 pounds in total.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Done! Admittedly it was mostly fruit (lots of apples) and French fries, but I did it!

By the way, is rice a vegetable?

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done. Planks are getting surprisingly easy except for the elbow and shoulder pain (see below).

5. Do burpees three days a week.

I did 3-4 burpees per day, 3 times each week in August with the exception of the week spent in Seattle. My shoulder really, really hurts, and now my elbow hurts, too. I blame the stupid burpees.

I’m getting an X-ray.

WRITING CAREER

6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2019.

Writing has finally commenced.I won’t finish before the end of the year, but I’ll pretend that I might.

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I’m currently working on three different children’s books. I like one very much.

8. Write a memoir.

Work continues.

9. Write a new screenplay.

No progress, but I’m enthusiastic! I have a good idea!

10. Write a musical.

No progress.

11. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

I submitted a piece to the NY Times Modern Love column in April. I received word yesterday that it was not accepted.

One down. Four to go.

12. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

13. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

I spent July strategically smiling in hopes that the biofeedback that a smile sends to the brain would alter my mood positively. I’ll be writing about the results this month.

I’m in need of two more behaviors to adopt.

Suggestions?

14. Increase my storytelling newsletter subscriber base to 3,000.

76 new subscribers in August for a total of 845 new subscribers in 2019. My list now stands at 2,955 subscribers.

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

15. Write at least six letters to my father.

One letter written in August. Two written so far this year.

16. Write 100 letters in 2019.

Five letters written in August. 24 overall. Still have a lot of writing to do before the end of the year.

17. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

A kind, generous, and amazing human being has begun work on this project.

I am thrilled.

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.

DONE! Two shows produced in August:

The Great Hartford Story Slam (produced in conjunction with two other local producers) and my solo show in Seattle.

A total of 10 shows produced so far in 2019.

19. Begin selling Speak Up merchandise at our events and/or online.

Done! We began selling tee shirts and totes at our live podcast recording, and we’ll be selling again at our upcoming shows.

Next step is to make it available online. Suggestions?

20. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

Done! I’ve pitched myself to five TEDx conferences and was nominated for a sixth.

All have now passed on my pitches. No one wants me.

I’ll just keep pitching.

21. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

DONE! I attended four Moth StorySLAMs in August:

Two in Boston, one in NYC, and one in Seattle. My name was drawn from the hat at both Boston slams and the Seattle slam.

NYC has not been as kind to me this year in terms of my name emerging from the hat.

This brings my total to 17 events so far.

22. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

DONE! I won my FIFTH and SIXTH Moth StorySLAMs in 2019. One in Boston and one in Seattle.

My 42nd and 43rd victories overall.

23. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I finished in second place by a tenth of a point in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in January.

I finished in fourth place in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in March, but I think I might’ve told my best story ever.

I competed but did not win the NYC Moth GrandSLAM in June. Silent scoring (I’m not a fan) prevents me from knowing how I placed (though I may be able to call and ask).

I may be competing in one more Moth GrandSLAM in NYC this year depending on the timing of the GrandSLAM and the number of storytellers in the queue ahead of me.

24. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Just two new shows released in August. An erased episode and a botched recording in Seattle (neither one our fault) caused us to miss two weeks of episodes.

A total of 30 episodes so far in 2019

Listen to our latest here or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

25. Perform stand up at least four times in 2019. 

I performed at an open mic in July at The Elbow Room in West Hartford.

Three to go.

26. Develop and teach a Storytelling Master Class, in which participants have an opportunity to tell at least two stories over the course of the day  or tell a story and then retell it based on feedback.

Done in June! It went surprisingly well, and I’ve been receiving requests to do another.

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

No progress.

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

I wrote to Marc early in January, asking for him to consider me as a guest.

I wrote again in August.

No response yet.

I’ve also officially requested that my publicist assist me in this endeavor.

If you know Marc Maron, or know someone who knows Marc or know someone who knows Marc’s producer or booker, please let me know. I know that Marc and I would have an amazing conversation, and it’s currently my biggest dream to get on his show.

NEW PROJECTS

29. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

No progress.

30. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

No progress.

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

We received our estimate from the painters. Depending on other expenses, we will likely be painting several rooms this fall, at which point things can be hung on the walls.

32. Renovate our first floor bathroom.

Work will commence THIS MONTH. And not a moment too soon. The tile floor is falling apart.

33. Organize our second floor bathroom.

Progress! I’m doing a little bit every day.

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2019.

I made one meal in August.

Five down. Seven to go.

35. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

I have a tentative date set. Attempting to confirm attendees now!

36. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2019.

I did not ride my bike with the kids in August. A week in Seattle and many, many days at Winding Trails has really curtailed the bike riding recently. Hopefully I can get the kids back on the bike now that autumn is on the doorstep.

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2019 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I did not comment on physical appearance in August. I also explained my policy to my new batch of students, and once again, they loved the policy and supported it fully.

Adults often this this policy is crazy. Children always love it.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2019.

DONE! While meandering through Pike’s Place Market in Seattle, Elysha spotted a pair of earrings that she loved but thought were too expensive. When she wasn’t looking, I took a photo of the earrings and grabbed a business card from the designer. Then I emailed the designer and asked that the earrings in the attached photo be shipped to me. I had hoped to have the earrings on her desk for the first day of school, but they arrived two days late, so I gave them to her before dinner two nights.

She was quite surprised to see them again.

Six surprises accomplished so far. At least two more in the works.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I’ve got a window guy now in the event we manage to cobble together the fund for this much needed project.

40. Clean the basement. 

The dumpster is STILL in my driveway. It’s now a Labor Day weekend job.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I started taking lessons this summer, and I’ve committed myself to constant practice. The results are beginning to show.

Last weekend, I double-bogied every hole. This did not result in an excellent score, or even a score close to my all time best, but it’s consistency. I did not blow up on any hole.

I also have a new putter, so it’s been a process of getting my putting back to where it once was, and my short game is a disaster with my new swing. When I dial those elements back in, I have a shot.

42. Play poker at least six times in 2019.

One game played in August. One game in 2019.

Five to go.

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

Two days spent together so far. I’ve attempted a couple other days but schedules didn’t line up. Still trying like hell. I miss the guy.

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

What's Next? Brand New Challenging Life Goals (UPDATED)

Last night I received an email from myself.

Two years ago, I apparently wrote a list entitled “What's Next? Brand New Challenging Life Goals.” Then I attached this to an email that was set to land in my inbox last night with the instructions from my past self to review and update.

I have no recollection of doing this, but it would seem that Long Ago Matt was a pretty smart guy because this was an interesting exercise.

It’s also not the first time that I’ve received an email from my past self. It happens more often than you’d think. I’m constantly thinking about future Matt and sending him stuff.

This particular list appears to be comprised of “big dream” items that are too difficult or too obscure to include on my yearly goals but still doable enough to keep on my horizon. Some of these “big dream” ideas were actually accomplished. Some had been forgotten, but I still love the idea today. A few fall into the category of “What the hell was I thinking?”

Here is that original list with the annotated updates that my past self demanded.

  • Perform my one-person show in a theater (DONE! Several times over!)

  • Spend a summer at Yawgoog Scout reservation (Still a goal)

  • Write and direct a short film (Still a goal)

  • Launch a podcast featuring the kids and me (DONE! Just 4 episodes but a real-life podcast!)

  • Learn to make an outstanding tuna avocado melt for Elysha (Failed many times)

  • Try curling (A forgotten goal but one I would love to try)

  • Teach a college class for new teachers about the things that are really important (Still a goal)

  • Officiate a funeral (What the hell was I thinking? Yet I’m still willing…)

  • Become a notary (DONE!)

  • Become an instructional coach (If I ever leave the classroom, my dream is to teach teachers in the first three years of their career)

  • Design and teach a competitive yoga class (What the hell was I thinking?)

  • Launch a storytelling podcast. Try to get Elysha to partner with you. (DONE!)

  • Land a weekly column in a major newspaper (This has been a goal for a long, long time)

  • Become an unlicensed therapist (A ridiculous idea but I think I would be exceptional at this)

  • Try stand up comedy (DONE! Many times over!)

  • Trademark “Homework for Life” (DONE!)

Not bad. Quite a few “brand new challenging life goals” weren’t as challenging as I originally thought. I was thrilled to see that quite few had been accomplished. It’s an exercise that I like a lot. It adheres to my belief that in addition to setting realistic, measurable goals for ourselves, we should also have new things on our horizons. Big idea goals. Things that might someday become a reality.

The horizon is the place where dreams are formed. It’s where we need to point ourselves. Too many people, I fear, never look to a horizon of new possibilities and instead remain fixated on their small, contained life.

In the spirit of looking to the horizon, here is the updated list that I just emailed to myself and scheduled to land in my inbox in two more years:

  • Spend a summer (or perhaps a week) at Yawgoog Scout reservation

  • Write and direct a short film

  • Learn to make an outstanding tuna avocado melt for Elysha

  • Try curling

  • Teach a college class for new teachers about the things that are really important

  • Become an instructional coach

  • Land a weekly column in a major newspaper

  • Become an unlicensed therapist

  • Build to a solid, 20 minute stand up comedy set

  • Publish a picture book

  • Break 45 (or 90) on the golf course

  • Visit with my father

Resolution Update: July 2019

Each month I review the progress of my yearly goals and report on that progress as a means of holding myself accountable.

Here are the results for July.

__________________________________

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Unless an asteroid destroys the planet, I’m not going anywhere.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I gained two points in July because I suck.

I’ve lost 6 pounds in total.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Done! Admittedly it was mostly fruit and French fries, but I did it!

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.

5. Do burpees three days a week.

I did 3-4 burpees per day, 3 times each week in July. My shoulder really, really hurts. I blame the stupid burpees.

WRITING CAREER

6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2019.

I met with my editor and the marketing and publicity team. The good news is that she’s very excited about my next novel idea. The bad news is that she didn’t choose the book that’s half done. So I begin anew with a brand new idea, making the likelihood that I’ll finish it this year unlikely.

But I’ll try!

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I’m currently working on three different children’s books. I like one very much.

8. Write a memoir.

Work continues.

9. Write a new screenplay.

No progress.

10. Write a musical.

No progress.

11. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

I submitted a piece to the NY Times Modern Love column in April.

One down. Four to go.

12. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

13. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

I spent July strategically smiling in hopes that the biofeedback that a smile sends to the brain would alter my mood positively. I’ll be writing about the results later this week.

I’m in need of two more behaviors to adopt.

Suggestions?

14. Increase my storytelling newsletter subscriber base to 3,000.

68 new subscribers in July for a total of 769 new subscribers in 2019. My list now stands at 2,879 subscribers.

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

15. Write at least six letters to my father.

One letter written in June for Father’s Day. One written so far this year.

16. Write 100 letters in 2019.

Five letters written in July. 19 overall. Still have a lot of writing to do this summer.

17. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

A kind, generous, and amazing human being has begun work on this project.

I am thrilled.

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.

No shows produced in July. A total of 8 shows produced so far in 2019.

19. Begin selling Speak Up merchandise at our events and/or online.

Done! We began selling tee shirts and totes at our live podcast recording.

Next step is to make it available online.

20. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

Done! I’ve pitched myself to five TEDx conferences and was nominated for a sixth.

All have now passed on my pitches. No one wants me.

I’ll just keep pitching.

21. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I attended one Moth StorySLAM in July, bringing my total to 13 events so far.

22. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

Done! I won my FOURTH Moth StorySLAM on 2019 and my 41st StorySLAM overall at The Oberon in Cambridge, MA.

23. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I finished in second place by a tenth of a point in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in January.

I finished in fourth place in a Moth GrandSLAM in Boston in March, but I think I might’ve told my best story ever.

I competed but did not win the NYC Moth GrandSLAM in June. Silent scoring (I’m not a fan) prevents me from knowing how I placed (though I may be able to call and ask).

I may be competing in one more Moth GrandSLAM in NYC this year depending on the timing of the GrandSLAM and the number of storytellers in the queue ahead of me.

24. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Four new shows released in July. A total of 28 so far. We haven’t missed a week in 2019.

Listen to our latest here or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

25. Perform stand up at least four times in 2019. 

I performed at an open mic in July at The Elbow Room in West Hartford. It went well.

Three to go.

26. Develop and teach a Storytelling Master Class, in which participants have an opportunity to tell at least two stories over the course of the day  or tell a story and then retell it based on feedback.

Done on June 1! It went surprisingly well.

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

No progress.

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

I wrote to Marc early in January, asking for him to consider me as a guest.

No response yet. I will write again this month.

I’ve also officially requested that my publicist assist me in this endeavor.

If you know Marc Maron, or know someone who knows Marc or know someone who knows Marc’s producer or booker, please let me know. I know that Marc and I would have an amazing conversation, and it’s currently my biggest dream to get on his show.

NEW PROJECTS

29. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

No progress.

30. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

No progress.

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

We received our estimate from the painters. Depending on other expenses, we will likely be painting several rooms this summer or fall, at which point things can be hung on the walls.

32. Renovate our first floor bathroom.

Work will commence THIS MONTH. And not a moment too soon. The tile floor is falling apart.

33. Organize our second floor bathroom.

No progress. Summertime project that should commence soon.

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2019.

I made no meals in July

Four down. Eight to go.

35. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

I have a tentative date set. Attempting to confirm attendees now!

36. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2019.

I did not tide my bike with the kids in July. A week at Disney and two weeks at camp have made any time at home limited.

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2019 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

While walking the streets of Disney World, I commented on people who were wearing sweatshirts and jeans in the 95 degree heat. I didn’t speak in derogatory terms, but I questioned why they were making those choices. Elysha says this should not count, but I did comment on physical appearance in a way I don’t want to even notice.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2019.

While vacationing at Disney World, I surprised Elysha by scheduling a second dessert party and VIP viewing for the Magic Kingdom fireworks. We had enjoyed this treat on our first night in Disney, but it was expensive. But the fireworks were also our favorite part of the entire trip, so I decided to surprise Elysha by repeating the experience on the last night of the trip, regardless of the expense.

It was worth every penny.

Five surprises accomplished so far.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I’ve got a window guy now in the event we manage to cobble together the fund for this much needed project.

Maybe I should start a Go Fund Me campaign.

40. Clean the basement. 

The dumpster is supposed to be here TODAY. It is not. The company cancelled. They are excellent at taking the reservation but not so good at keeping the reservation.

I’m so annoyed. I’m also rescheduling.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I started taking lessons this summer, and I’ve committed myself to constant practice. The results are beginning to show, not so much in my scores this weekend but in my swing and understanding of how I should be swinging. It’s all very new, so it’ll be bad before it’s good, but for the first time, I have a path to playing better.

42. Play poker at least six times in 2019.

No games in all of 2019. I love poker. What the hell is wrong with me?

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

Two days spent together so far. I’ve attempted a couple other days but schedules didn’t line up. Still trying like hell. I miss the guy.

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: June 2019

Each month I review the progress of my yearly goals and report on that progress as a means of holding myself accountable.

Here are the results for June.

Since we have reached the halfway point in the year, I also like to take a step back and assess the likelihood of me completing each goal.
__________________________________

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Still standing.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I didn’t lose any pounds in June. I didn’t gain any pounds in June.

I’ve lost 8 pounds in total.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Done! Along with bananas, grapes, apples, and pears, I also ate carrots, onions, potatoes, an assortment of vegetables in various soups, and an arugula and fig pizza.

Yeah. That’s right. Arugula.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

5. Do burpees three days a week.

I did 3-4 burpees per day, 3 times each week in June. My shoulder hurts. I blame the stupid burpees.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident. Regrettably so.

WRITING CAREER

6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2019.

Still waiting for a go-ahead from my editor regarding my next book. This is the problem with being two books ahead. No one is in a rush for your 2022/2023 novel.

I meet with her on Tuesday in New York.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I’m currently working on three different children’s books. I like one very much.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

8. Write a memoir.

Work continues. I’ve switched from the present tense to the past tense. This helped a lot.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

9. Write a new screenplay.

No progress.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Not confident

10. Write a musical.

No progress.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Not confident

11. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

I submitted a piece to the NY Times Modern Love column in April.

One down. Four to go.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

12. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

13. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

I read that smiling when you wake up can be very beneficial. Supposed health benefits include:

  • When you smile your body releases the feel-good neurotransmitters dopamine and endorphins. This means that by smiling first thing when you wake up you’ll be starting your day in a better mood.

  • In addition, when you smile your mood is further lifted by the release of serotonin.

  • Smiling strengthens the immune system, so by smiling first thing in the morning and remembering to do it throughout the day you’ll be warding off disease, specially during flu season.

This is all supposed to happen even if your smile is forced. I’ve written before about how you can trick your brain through biofeedback (including smiling), but I really can’t see how a fake smile early in the morning will change anything about my day.

I’m about to find out.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

14. Increase my storytelling newsletter subscriber base to 3,000.

52 new subscribers in June for a total of 701 new subscribers in 2019. My list now stands at 2,811 subscribers.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

15. Write at least six letters to my father.

One letter written in June for Father’s Day. One written so far this year.

16. Write 100 letters in 2019.

Five letters written in June. 14 overall. I have a lot of writing to do this summer.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

17. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

A kind, generous, and amazing human being has begun work on this project.

I am thrilled.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.

One show produced in June at Infinity Hall in Hartford.

A total of 8 shows produced so far in 2019.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

19. Begin selling Speak Up merchandise at our events and/or online.

Done! We began selling tee shirts and totes at our live podcast recording.

Next step is to make it available online.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Complete

20. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

Done! I’ve pitched myself to five TEDx conferences and was nominated for a sixth.

All have now passed on my pitches. No one wants me.

I’ll just keep pitching.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Complete

21. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I attended two Moth StorySLAMs and a Moth GrandSLAM in June, bringing my total to 12 events so far.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

22. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

Done! I won my third StorySLAM on 2019 and my 40th StorySLAM overall at Oberon in Cambridge

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Complete

23. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I finished in second place by a tenth of a point in a Moth GrandSLAM in January.

I finished in fourth place in my Moth GrandSLAM in March, but I think I might’ve told my best story ever.

I competed but did not win the NYC Moth GrandSLAM in June. Silent scoring (I’m not a fan) prevents me from knowing how I placed (though I may be able to ask).

I may be competing in one more Moth GrandSLAM in NYC this year depending on the timing of the GrandSLAM and the number of storytellers in the queue ahead of me.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Not confident

24. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Four new shows released in June. A total of 24 so far. We haven’t missed a week in 2019.

Listen to our latest here or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

25. Perform stand up at least four times in 2019. 

I’ve scheduled my first open mic for July.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

26. Develop and teach a Storytelling Master Class, in which participants have an opportunity to tell at least two stories over the course of the day  or tell a story and then retell it based on feedback.

Done on June 1! It went surprisingly well.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Complete

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

No progress.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

I wrote to Marc early in January, asking for him to consider me as a guest.

No response yet.

I’ve also officially requested that my publicist assist me in this endeavor.

If you know Marc Maron, or know someone who knows Marc or know someone who knows Marc’s producer or booker, please let me know. I know that Marc and I would have an amazing conversation, and it’s currently my biggest dream to get on his show.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

NEW PROJECTS

29. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

No progress.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Not confident

30. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

No progress.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Not confident

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

We received our estimate from the painters. Depending on other expenses, we will likely be painting several rooms this summer or fall, at which point things can be hung on the walls.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

32. Renovate our first floor bathroom.

Work will commence next month.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

33. Organize our second floor bathroom.

No progress. Summertime project that should commence soon.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2019.

I made no meals in June.

Four down. Eight to go.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

35. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Not confident

36. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2019.

I rode my bike with Charlie one time in June for a total of six rides so far.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2019 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

Done! I did not comment on physical appearance with the exception of my wife and children in June.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2019.

Two surprises were set into motion in May, but neither has come to fruition yet. One of my friends just ruined a surprise that I had planned for today.

Four surprises accomplished so far.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

No progress.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Not confident

40. Clean the basement. 

Incremental progress. Every week I throw away or organize a few items.

I’m ordering a dumpster this summer, and I have hired someone to assist me.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I started taking lessons this summer, and I’ve committed myself to constant practice. The results are beginning to show, not so much in my scores this weekend but in my swing and understanding of how I should be swinging. It’s all very new, so it’ll be bad before it’s good, but for the first time, I have a path to playing better.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

42. Play poker at least six times in 2019.

A game was scheduled and canceled in June. That’s three cancelled games so far.

A new game needs to be scheduled for July.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

Bengi and I spent a Sunday afternoon playing board games at a local hobby shop in June.

Two down. Four to go.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Moderately confident

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

LIKELIHOOD OF COMPLETION: Highly confident

Resolution update: April 2019

Each month I review the progress of my yearly goals and report on that progress as a means of holding myself accountable.

Here are the results for April.
__________________________________

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Still standing.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I didn’t lose any pounds in April. I didn’t gain any pounds in April.

I’ve lost 8 pounds in total.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Done! Along with bananas, grapes, apples, and pears, I also ate carrots, onion, and asparagus.

Reminder: potatoes in any form count as a vegetable.

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.

5. Do burpees three days a week.

I did 3-5 burpees per day, 4-5 times each week in April.

Also burpees are stupid and ridiculous. This was a terrible idea.

WRITING CAREER

6. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2019.

Still waiting for a go-ahead from my editor regarding my next book. This is the problem with being two books ahead. No one is in a rush for your 2022 novel.

I’ve started writing anyway.

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

No progress.

8. Write a memoir.

I restarted again. I’ve written about 5,000 words that I think I like.

9. Write a new screenplay.

No progress.

10. Write a musical.

No progress.

11. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

I submitted a piece to the NY Times Modern Love column in April.

One down. Four to go.

12. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

13. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

No progress. Also, I need three behaviors to attempt.

Thoughts?

14. Increase my storytelling newsletter subscriber base to 3,000.

58 new subscribers in April for a total of 615 new subscribers in 2019. My list now stands at 2,725 subscribers.

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

15. Write at least six letters to my father.

None written in April. None written this year.

16. Write 100 letters in 2019.

One more letter written in April. Six overall. Killing it.

17. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

A kind, generous, and amazing human being has begun work on this project.

I am thrilled.

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.

Two shows produced in April:

  • A Speak Up show at the CT Historical Society on April 27

  • A Speak Up- Voices of Hope collaboration on April 14

A total of 6 shows produced so far in 2019.

19. Begin selling Speak Up merchandise at our events and/or online.

Speak Up merchandise will be sold at our live podcast recording of Speak Up Storytelling on May 18.

We’re very excited.

20. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

Done! I’ve pitched myself to five TEDx conferences so far, and I’ve been nominated now for a sixth.

One has expressed interest. Four have now passed. I await word from the one in which I was nominated.

21. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I attended two Moth StorySLAMs in April, bringing my total to seven events so far.

22. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

I finished in second place in both of my Moth StorySLAM in NYC in April.

Both by one-tenth of a point.

Two wins so far in 2019.

23. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I finished in second place by a tenth of a point in a Moth GrandSLAM in January.

I finished in fourth place in my Moth GrandSLAM in March, but I think I might’ve told my best story ever.

I’ll now need to win a NYC GrandSLAM now to complete this goal.

24. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Four new shows released in April. A total of 16 so far. We haven’t missed a week in 2019.

Listen to our latest here or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

25. Perform stand up at least four times in 2019. 

I’ve hit a bit of a snag in terms of this goal. The open mic night where I’d been performing was shut down thanks to stupid people behaving in stupid ways. I have an opportunity to perform in a local comedy showcase, which I will do, but I was in need of another open mic.

Thanks to you, dear readers, I have found a stage.

26. Develop and teach a Storytelling Master Class, in which participants have an opportunity to tell at least two stories over the course of the day  or tell a story and then retell it based on feedback.

Done! Scheduled for June 1. Enroll today!

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

No progress.

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

I wrote to Marc early in January, asking for him to consider me as a guest.

No response yet.

If you know Marc Maron, or know someone who knows Marc or know someone who knows Marc’s producer or booker, please let me know. I know that Marc and I would have an amazing conversation, and it’s currently my biggest dream to get on his show.

NEW PROJECTS

29. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

No progress.

30. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

No progress.

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

No progress.

32. Renovate our first floor bathroom.

Final design decisions have been made. Work will commence very soon.

33. Organize our second floor bathroom.

No progress.

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2019.

I made no meals in April.

Four down. Eight to go.

35. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress.

36. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2019.

I rode my bike with Charlie one time April for a total of four rides.

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2019 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

Done! I did not comment on physical appearance with the exception of my wife and children in April.

Once again done with ease.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2019.

Two surprises in April:

  • I purchased a a Pusheen cross-stitch kit and gave it to her on a day she was giving surprises to the kids.

  • I hired a landscaper to install a garden plot in our backyard, which she came home and found two weeks ago.

Four surprises accomplished so far.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

No progress.

40. Clean the basement. 

Incremental progress. Every week I throw away or organize a few items. It’s still going to require a full day at some point and perhaps a trip to the dump or even a dumpster.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I played my first round of golf of 2019 last weekend. I played poorly.

42. Play poker at least six times in 2019.

A game was scheduled and canceled in April. A game is now scheduled for May.

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

Bengi and I spent a Sunday morning walking the track in his town back in March.

One down. Six to go.

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: March 2019

Each month I review the progress of my yearly goals and report on that progress as a means of holding myself accountable.

Here are the results for March.
__________________________________

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

I didn’t even come close to dying in March, which I can’t say for every month of my life.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I lost a whopping five pounds in March for a total of eight pounds for the year.

I exercised a lot and had no time to eat.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Done! Along with bananas, grapes, apples, and pears, I also ate carrots that I cooked myself and green beans that I did not cook and didn’t really like but ate anyway.

Also, potatoes in any form count as a vegetable.

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.

Also, I told my students that I do this, and they do not believe me. I may start doing these exercises in class.

5. Do burpees three days a week.

I did three burpees every single day in March. By some miracle, I have no wrist or thumb soreness at the moment.

I don’t think three burpees a day are doing anything for me.

I’d also like to reiterate something about burpees:

They are stupid and ridiculous. This was a terrible idea.

WRITING CAREER

6. . Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2019.

Still waiting for a go-ahead from my editor regarding my next book. This is the problem with being two books ahead. No one is in a rush for your 2022 novel.

My agent plans a phone call in April if no response is received.

Again, I could just start writing the damn thing.

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

No progress.

8. Write a memoir.

I did not like the half page I wrote in February, so I started again. I have about two new pages written, which might as well be no pages written.

9. Write a new screenplay.

No progress. But my friend, David, just finished a screenplay and has a little heat right now, so I’m slightly inspired.

10. Write a musical.

No progress.

11. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

No progress.

12. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

13. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

No progress. Also, I need three behaviors to attempt.

Thoughts?

14. Increase my storytelling newsletter subscriber base to 3,000.

56 new subscribers in March for a total of 557 new subscribers in 2019. My list now stands at 2,667 subscribers. Though March marked a steep decline in subscribers, 3,000 is well within reach.

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

15. Write at least six letters to my father.

None written in March. None written this year.

16. Write 100 letters in 2019.

One more letter written in March. Five overall. Off to a flying start.

17. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

A kind, generous, and amazing human being has begun work on this project.

I am thrilled.

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.

Three shows produced in March:

  • A Speak Up show at Space Ballroom in Hamden, CT on March 3

  • The Great Hartford Storyslam (in concert with the producers of two other shows) on March 23

  • A Speak Up show at Real Art Ways in Hartford, CT on March 30

A total of four so far in 2019.

19. Begin selling Speak Up swag at our events and/or online.

Logo is 99% finalized. Printer for our swag is secured. We are hoping to begin selling tee shirts, hats, and such at our live podcast taping on May 18 as well as online.

20. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

Done! I’ve pitched myself to five TEDx conferences so far.

One has expressed interest. Two passed. I await word from the final two.

I’m also speaking at a TEDx salon in April.

21. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I attended one Moth StorySLAM and one Moth GrandSLAM in March, bringing my total to five events so far.

22. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

I finished in second place at my Moth StorySLAM in NYC in March.

Two wins so far in 2019.

23. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I finished in second place by a tenth of a point in a Moth GrandSLAM in January.
I finished in fourth place in my Moth GrandSLAM in March.

I’ll now need to win a NYC GrandSLAM now to complete this goal.

24. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Four new shows released in March. A total of 12 so far. We haven’t missed a week in 2019.

Listen to our latest here or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

25. Perform stand up at least four times in 2019. 

I’ve hit a bit of a snag in terms of this goal. The open mic night where I’d been performing was shut down thanks to stupid people behaving in stupid ways. I have an opportunity to perform in a local comedy showcase, which I will do, but I was in need of another open mic.

Thanks to you, dear readers, I have leads on two possibilities.

26. Develop and teach a Storytelling Master Class, in which participants have an opportunity to tell at least two stories over the course of the day  or tell a story and then retell it based on feedback.

Done! Scheduled for June 1. Enroll today!

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

No progress.

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

I wrote to Marc early in January, asking for him to consider me as a guest.

No response yet.

If you know Marc Maron, or know someone who knows Marc or know someone who knows Marc’s producer or booker, please let me know. I know that Marc and I would have an amazing conversation, and it’s currently my biggest dream to get on his show.

NEW PROJECTS

29. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

No progress.

30. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

No progress.

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

No progress.

32. Renovate our first floor bathroom.

Final design decisions have been made. Work will commence very soon, I hope. Awaiting Elysha to schedule the work.

33. Organize our second floor bathroom.

No progress.

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2019.

I made no meals in March, but in fairness, our number of family dinners in March were limited due to a very full calendar.

Four down. Eight to go.

35. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress.

36. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2019.

I rode my bike with Charlie three times in March for a total of three rides.

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2017 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

Done! I did not comment on physical appearance with the exception of my wife and children in March.

Done with ease.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2019.

No surprises in March (except for some bad ones).

Two surprises complete so far.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

No progress.

40. Clean the basement. 

Incremental progress. Every week I throw away or organize a few items. It’s still going to require a full day at some point and perhaps a trip to the dump or even a dumpster.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

Weather has made this impossible.

42. Play poker at least six times in 2019.

No progress.

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

Bengi and I spent a Sunday morning walking the track in his town and catching up, and it was fantastic.

I hope to see him again in April.

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: February 2019

Each month I review the progress of my yearly goals and report on that progress as a means of holding myself accountable.

Here are the results for February.
__________________________________

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Still kicking.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I lost three pounds in February for a total of three pounds in 2019.

I’m not exactly off to a roaring start.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Done! Along with bananas, grapes, apples, and pears I also ate carrots that I cooked myself and green beans that I did not cook and didn’t really like but ate anyway.

Also, potatoes in any form count as a vegetable.

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.

5. Do burpees three days a week.

I stopped my burpees due to wrist soreness but resumed them last week.

Now my thumbs hurt. Maybe it’s unrelated, but I don’t think so.

Here’s something I didn’t know about burpees:

They are stupid and ridiculous. I won’t tell you how many I’m doing (not a lot), but I did them for three days a week over the final two weeks of February, and they still suck.

This was a terrible idea.

WRITING CAREER

6. . Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2019.

Still waiting for a go-ahead from my editor that the book I pitched will be the next book. This is the problem with being two books ahead. No one is in a rush for your 2022 novel.

I may just start writing anyway as soon as proofs for my next book are complete.

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

No progress.

8. Write a memoir.

After starting over in February, I’ve written about half a page, which is also stupid and ridiculous.

I should’ve written a lot more already.

9. Write a new screenplay.

No progress.

10. Write a musical.

No progress.

11. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

No progress.

12. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

13. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

No progress. Also, I need three behaviors to attempt.

Thoughts?

14. Increase my storytelling newsletter subscriber base to 3,000.

252 new subscribers in February for a total of 501 new subscribers in 2019. My list now stands at 2,611 subscribers. 3,000 is well within reach.

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

15. Write at least six letters to my father.

None written in February,

16. Write 100 letters in 2019.

Two more letters written in February. Four overall. Off to a flying start.

17. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

A kind, generous, and amazing human being has begun work on this project.

I am thrilled.

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.

One show produced in February, and it was a great one, bringing our total so far to one.

But we have two in March, on Sunday, March 3 and Saturday, March 30, plus a Hartford story slam on March 23 in conjunction with two other producers.

You should come to all of them!

19. Begin selling Speak Up swag at our events and/or online.

Revisions of the new logo continue. Once it is finalized, swag can be ordered.

20. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

Done! I’ve pitched myself to five TEDx conferences so far.

One has expressed interest. Two passed. I await word from the final two.

21. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I attended one Moth StorySLAM in February, bringing my total to three events so far.

22. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

I won a Moth StorySLAM in Boston in February. Two wins so far in 2019.

Two for two!

I’ll be at a Moth StorySLAM in NYC at least once in March.

23. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I finished in second place by a tenth of a point in a Moth GrandSLAM in January.

I’ll be competing in another GrandSLAM in March.

24. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Four new shows released in February. Eight so far. We haven’t missed a week!

Listen to our latest here or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.!

25. Perform stand up at least four times in 2019. 

I’ve hit a bit of a snag in terms of this goal. The open mic night where I’d been performing was shut down thanks to stupid people behaving in stupid ways. I have an opportunity to perform in a local comedy showcase, which I will do, but I was in need of another open mic.

Thanks to you, dear readers, I have leads on two possibilities.

26. Develop and teach a Storytelling Master Class, in which participants have an opportunity to tell at least two stories over the course of the day  or tell a story and then retell it based on feedback.

Done! Scheduled for June 1. Enroll today!

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

No progress.

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

I wrote to Marc early in January, asking for him to consider me as a guest.

No response yet.

NEW PROJECTS

29. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

No progress.

30. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

No progress.

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

No progress.

32. Renovate our first floor bathroom.

Final design decisions have been made. Work will commence very soon, I hope.

33. Organize our second floor bathroom.

No progress.

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2019.

I made dinner three times for the family in February. Chicken, stuffing, carrots, and potatoes twice and spaghetti and a meat sauce the second time. I chopped vegetables and everything.

Four down. Eight to go.

35. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress.

36. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2019.

Weather has made this impossible.

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2017 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

Done! I did not comment on physical appearance with the exception of my wife and children in February.

Done with ease.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2016.

I mailed another card - much more clever - to Elysha’s school, telling her how I much I love her.

Two surprises complete.  

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

No progress.

40. Clean the basement. 

Incremental progress. Every week I throw away or organize a few items. It’s still going to require a full day at some point and perhaps a trip to the dump or even a dumpster.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

Weather has made this impossible.

42. Play poker at least six times in 2019.

No progress.

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

We’ve agreed to see each other more often and have been texting about dates.

This is progress.

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: January 2019

Each month I review the progress of my yearly goals and report on that progress as a means of holding myself accountable.

Here are the results for January.

__________________________________

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Completely alive. Unless, of course, this is all just a computer simulation, which is entirely possible. But if that’s the case, there’s nothing I can do about it.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I have lost exactly zero pounds in January.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Done! It required a lot of bananas, grapes, and apples, but I did it!

Also, potatoes in any form are a vegetable.

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.

5. Do burpees three days a week.

Done. I did 1-6 burpees per day, three days a week. I also hurt my thumbs in the process. They are really sore.

What the hell?

WRITING CAREER

6. . Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2019.

Wrapping up my middle grade novel this week and will dive into the next adult novel next month.

Kind of waiting for a go-ahead from my editor, too. This is the problem with being two books ahead. No one is in a rush for your 2022 novel.

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

No progress.

8. Write a memoir.

I started writing. I wrote three pages and hated all three of them.

I’ve decided to start in a new place, which means I’m now starting over again.

9. Write a new screenplay.

No progress.

10. Write a musical.

No progress.

11. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

No progress.

12. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

13. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

No progress. Also, I need three behaviors to attempt.

Thoughts?

14. Increase my storytelling newsletter subscriber base to 3,000.

249 new subscribers in January. Two more months with numbers like that and I’ll achieve my goal before spring.

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

15. Write at least six letters to my father.

None written in January but I received one, which was very exciting.

16. Write 100 letters in 2019.

Two letters written in January. Off to a flying start.

17. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

A couple of people are considering taking on this project on my behalf, so there is possible positive movement in this regard.

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.

No shows produced so far in 2019.

We launch our season at Infinity Hall in Hartford on Saturday, February 23. You should come!

19. Begin selling Speak Up swag at our events and/or online.

Revisions of the new logo continue. Once it is finalized, swag can be ordered.

20. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

I’ve pitched myself to three TEDx conferences so far.

One has expressed interest. No word from the other two.

21. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I attended two Moth events in January:

A StorySLAM and a GrandSLAM.

22. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

I won a Moth StorySLAM in Boston in January.

One down. Two to go.

23. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I finished in second place by a tenth of a point in a Moth GrandSLAM in January.

I’ll be competing in another GrandSLAM in March.

24. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Four new shows released in January. We didn’t miss a week.

Listen to our latest here or wherever you get your podcasts.!

25. Perform stand up at least four times in 2019. 

I’ve hit a bit of a snag in terms of this goal. The open mic night where I’d been performing was shut down thanks to stupid people behaving in stupid ways. I have an opportunity to perform in a local comedy showcase, which I will do, but I’d also like an open mic where I can perform on a regular basis.

If you know of an open mic in the Hartford area, please let me know.

26. Develop and teach a Storytelling Master Class, in which participants have an opportunity to tell at least two stories over the course of the day  or tell a story and then retell it based on feedback.

Done! Scheduled for June 1. Enroll today!

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

No progress.

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

I wrote to Marc early in January, asking for him to consider me as a guest.

No response yet.

NEW PROJECTS

29. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

No progress.

30. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

No progress.

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

No progress.

32. Renovate our first floor bathroom.

Contractor has visited our home and advised us in terms of the work required. Elysha has tentatively chosen tile and sink. Work should commence soon.

I can’t wait.

33. Organize our second floor bathroom.

No progress.

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2019.

I made breakfast for dinner for the family in January. Pancakes and bacon.

One down. Eleven to go.

35. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress.

36. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2019.

Weather has made this impossible.

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2017 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

Done! I did not comment on physical appearance with the exception of my wife and children in January.

Done with ease.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2016.

I mailed a card to Elysha’s school, telling her how I much I love her.

One surprise complete.  

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

No progress.

40. Clean the basement. 

Incremental progress. Every week I throw away or organize a few items. It’s still going to require a full day at some point and perhaps a trip to the dump.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

Weather has made this impossible.

42. Play poker at least six times in 2019.

No progress.

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

I spoke to my friend and we agreed to see each other much more often. He proposed an evening out in January, but I was unavailable. We both agreed to get together in February.

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

New Year’s Resolutions 2019

At the beginning of every year I establish a list of goals (or New Year's resolutions) for the coming calendar year. I post this list on my blog and social media as a means of holding myself accountable.

I recommend this to everyone. I've been engaged in this process since 2010, and I am convinced that I have been more productive and more successful as a result, even though my average goal completion rate stands at about 55%.

I've learned that setting exceptionally high goals and dispassionately accepting failure are critical to achievement.

An unexpected side benefit has been the occasional assistance of readers in completing some of my goals, through advice, recommendations, and sometimes even direct intervention.

People are kind, and I never turn down help.

Equally unexpected is the interest in these blog posts on my yearly goals and monthly updates. I often feel like updating my progress each month is the least interesting thing I write, but apparently there are readers out there who disagree. They are some of my most-read posts.

Below is my list of 44 goals for 2019. I always reserve the right to add a goal to the list through the month of January.

__________________________________________________

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Recommended by a friend years ago. Still valid today and deserving of the first spot on the list.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I tried to lose 20 pounds in 2016 but only lost 8.
I tried to lose 20 points in 2017 but only lost 8. 
I tried to lose 20 pounds in 2018 but only lost 6.

Since my first weight goal back in 2010, I've lost a total of 66 pounds. Another 20 is ambitious, but it would get me down to my high school weight. I’m willing to try to make that happen.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day, six days a week.

Readers and friends proposed this goal to me last year more than any other. Though I increased my vegetable and fruit consumption considerably in 2018, there were many days when I did not eat three servings of fruits and vegetables.

I’m altering the goal this year to make it more achievable by allowing myself to fail once per week.  

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

I’ve accomplished this goal for six years in a row, but it’s not exactly automatic (because it’s still hard and oftentimes a pain in the ass), so it remains on the list.

5. Do burpees three days a week.

I need to do a new exercise and vary my routine a bit, and this is apparently a good one. I have no idea how many burpees I’ll be able to do, so I’m keeping this one ambiguous. I just plan on doing them three days a week. We’ll see where that takes me.

WRITING CAREER

6. . Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2019.

With novels #5 and #6 already done and slated to publish this year, it's time to complete the next one.

7. Write/complete at least five new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I wrote three picture books in 2015.  
I wrote another three in 2016. 
I started but did not finish four picture books in 2017.
Those four books, plus two more, remained unfinished in 2018.

I haven't sold any of them. 

My goal for 2019 is to finish the year with five more completed picture books. This can include books that I began in 2017 but didn't finish and/or brand new ones.

At least one must feature a non-white, non-male protagonist. 

8. Write a memoir.

Rather than writing a proposal for a memoir, my agent and I decided in 2018 that it would best if I simply wrote the book, so that process has begun. I plan to complete the memoir by the end of 2019.

9. Write a new screenplay.

I failed to write a screenplay in 2016 and 2017 after writing my first in 2015. I started a new one in 2018 but it’s not close to completion. I intend to finish it in 2019.

10. Write a musical.

In 2012 composer and lyricist Andy Mayo and I wrote and produced a rock opera called The Clowns at a local theater and have been trying to get it into festivals or other theaters ever since. 

It’s very good.

For the last three years, we’ve written musicals for a local summer camp. One of those musicals was also produced by a children's theater company in 2016.

In 2018 I began writing our next show - our first adult musical since The Clowns. I plan on finishing it in 2019.

11. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

A completed goal from 2017 and 2018 that I will repeat in 2019.

In 2018, I published two pieces in Parents magazine, in additional to my quarterly column in Seasons magazine and my advice column in Slate magazine. Not bad, but I'd still like to get my first piece in The New York Times in 2019.

My dream goal is to land another column in a magazine, newspaper, or online publication this year, but I’m keeping this goal more reasonable.

12. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

A completed goal from 2017 and 2018 that I will repeat again this year.

None of the publishing outlets accepted my short stories (still waiting on three to respond), but I will try again in 2019.

13. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

In 2016, I wrote about backing into parking spots, daily affirmations, and bottle flipping.

In 2017, I wrote about prayer, cold showers, and talking to strangers.

In 2018, I wrote about following pop culture and saying grace before a meal.

I've actually adopted one of these behaviors (cold showers) and realized that I was already doing another (talking to strangers).

Though my opinion of most of these activities didn't change, it was a useful experiment each time, so I'll repeat this in 2019.

14. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 3,000.

Growth rates in my newsletter over the past three years have been:

2016: 29%
2017: 25%
2018: 68%

If I grow the list by another 25% in 2019. I will hit my goal of 3,000 subscribers. A very reasonable goal.

If you’d like to sign up for my newsletter, you can do so here:

15. Write at least six letters to my father.

A completed goal from 2017 and 2018 that I will repeat in 2019.

My father and I have been writing sporadic letters to each other since 2013. Since we speak little, it's been a great way to get to know a man who disappeared from much of my life at the age of eight. I intend to write to him every other month with the hope that he will write to me on my off months.  

16. Write 100 letters in 2019.

I wrote 61 letters in 2018, failing to hit my goal of 100, but I’m setting 100 as the goal again. The plan is to write a letter (paper, envelope, and stamp) every three days or so, to students, colleagues, friends, family, and anyone else who is deserving of praise, gratitude, recognition, scathing retribution, or the like.

It's a way of making a day a little brighter for another person that appeals to me a lot. 

17. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

A failed goal from 2017 and 2018.

I wrote a blog during the first eight years of my children's lives. I stopped writing in December of 2015. Though I've considered resuming the writing, I would like to have the content already created preserved in a physical form. There are services that can do this work, but I want it done well. Edited. Photos positioned appropriately on the page. Videos removed. I'm willing to hire someone to produce this or find another way to have it done well.  

STORYTELLING

18. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.

Since we launched Speak up back in 2013, we have produced more than 60 shows.

2013: 3
2014: 8
2015: 12
2016: 17
2017: 17
2018: 13

With Elysha returning to work, the push to produce shows has relaxed a bit, so 10 seems like a reasonable number for the year.

19. Begin selling Speak Up swag at our events and/or online.

Elysha and I are in the process of updating our Speak Up logo. Once finished, I plan on designing and selling Speak Up swag - tee shirts, hats, tote bags - at our storytelling events. Making a little money on the swag would be great, but the real goal is to simply allow our audience to express their support for us and the show on a more regular basis.

20. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.

I’ve had some bad luck in terms of TED Talks.

I did a TED Talk at the AT&T Conference Center in 2013 that went extremely well, but technical difficulties made the audio on the recording almost indiscernible.

I did a TED Talk at Western Connecticut State University in 2013 that went flawlessly, but the college students who hosted the conference never posted the recording online.

I did a TED Talk in April of 2014 in Somerville, Massachusetts that also went well, but my 15 minute talk was accidentally put on a nine minute timer, which forced me to dump sections of my talk on the fly and speak faster than I would’ve liked. The talk was good, but it was not exactly what I had planned. There was room for improvement.

I did a TED Talk at Boston University in April of 2015. The recording started almost two minutes into my talk, and one of the cameras failed. The actual talk went well but the recording is useless. Again, I'd like to repeat this talk at some point for TED. 

I did a TED Talk in November of 2015 in the Berkshires that went very well. The recording is excellent. Huzzah! 

I did a TED Talk in January of 2016 in Natick, MA, that also went very well. The recording is excellent. Huzzah!

I did a TED Talk in April of 2016 at The Country School in Madison, CT, repeating that first TED Talk that didn't get recorded well in 2013. I had to hold a microphone, which complicated things a bit, and there was no timer, so I had to rush in fear of going long. I'm still not entirely satisfied with the talk. I'd like to repeat it again under optimal circumstances.  

I did a TED Talk in May of 2017 at the Pomfret School. Again, I had a handheld mic and no timer. Still, I thought it went well but could be better.  

I have several talk ideas that I’ll be pitching in 2019.

21. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

My Moth attendance over recent years have been:

2015: 27
2016: 26
2017: 20
2018: 15

As opportunities to speak and perform at other venues for a variety of organizations have increased, the time I’ve had to dedicate to Moth events has decreased, even though they remain my favorite shows in the world.

Give me a Moth StorySLAM any day.

Attending 15 Moth events in 2019 is a reasonable goal, I hope.

22. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

Three wins feels ambitious for 2019 (especially after failing to win three in 2018), but since 2011, I've won 46% of the Moth StorySLAMs that I’ve competed in, and that percentage has remained fairly steady over the years.

If I compete in at least 10 StorySLAMs in 2019, I should be able to win at least three based upon previous percentages. This goal depends upon the decisions of others (which I try to avoid when setting goals), but competing in StorySLAMs just isn't enough to justify the goal.

I need to win.  

23. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

I won one GrandSLAM in 2014.
I won two GrandSLAMs in 2015.
I won one GrandSLAM in 2016.
I failed to win a GrandSLAM in 2017.   
I won two GrandSLAMs in 2018.

This goal also depends upon the decisions of others, but competing in a Moth GrandSLAM is a forgone conclusion (I’m competing in one this month) and just isn't enough to justify the goal. 

Once again, I need to win.

24. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Elysha and I produced 30 episodes in 2018, beginning in May, and we hope to do even better in 2019, particularly as our audience grows.

25. Perform stand up at least four times in 2019. 

I performed stand up six times in 2018. I’d lie to get up at least four more times in 2019. 

26. Develop and teach a Storytelling Master Class, in which participants have an opportunity to tell at least two stories over the course of the day  or tell a story and then retell it based on feedback.

This is a request from several of my storytelling students. I’ve been hesitant to teach a class like this, simply because I’m not sure if they need me to tell their stories. My advanced storytelling workshops afford every person the opportunity to tell a story, but they also include instruction, modeling, lessons, and new content.

A workshop like the one proposed would have none of that. I would simply listen to and critique stories. And while I can almost always teach a concept or strategy to the whole group based upon a person’s story, I feel like storytellers can get these critiques and perhaps even lessons from each other without needing me.

But it’s been requested quite a few times, so I’ll give it a shot in 2019.

27. Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.

I had a story on This American Life in May of 2014. Since then, I’ve occasionally pitched stories to someone I know who works for the show. In 2019 I want to make a more concerted effort to pitch stories to this show that I adore.

28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.

When I was listing possible publicity opportunities for Storyworthy with my publicist, Marc Maron’s WTF was top of the list. I’ve been listening since his first episode, and I would love to have a conversation with him. I’ve pitched myself to him before, and I’ll do it again, at least three times, in 2019.

NEW PROJECTS

29. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar.

I was inspired by the New York Times story of Carolyn Kenyon and Judith Jones, both of Ithaca, NY, who raised $12,500 and sent it to the debt-forgiveness charity RIP Medical Debt, which then purchased a portfolio of $1.5 million of medical debts on their behalf. As a result, 1,284 New Yorkers were freed over their medical debt.

I love the idea of leveraging pennies on the dollar for an incredible cause, so I intend on doing the same in 2019. I’m not sure how I’ll raise the money yet, but I look forward to exploring options.

30. Complete my Eagle Scout project.

Back in 1988, I was 17 year-old Boy Scout preparing to complete my Eagle Scout service project so I could earn the rank that I had dreamed about for most of my childhood. In truth, I was qualified to earn my Eagle rank almost two years before, having earned the required merit badges and more, but my service project had been sitting on the back burner, waiting to be completed.

I needed a parent or two to light a fire under my butt and support me in this endeavor, but I wasn’t graced with that level of parental involvement at the time.

My plan was to plant trees in a cemetery in my hometown of Blackstone, MA. My troop had planted trees in that same cemetery about five year before, but those trees had died. I wanted to replace them and complete the work that we had originally promised.

Then, on December 23, 1988, I was in a car accident that nearly killed me. As a result of the accident, I was in a full-length leg cast for three months and required an enormous amount of healing and recovery. With just three months left until I turned 18 (the deadline to complete an Eagle service project), my parents requested an extension, and it was denied.

My childhood dream of becoming an Eagle Scout was over. It’s one of my life’s greatest regrets.

Maybe the greatest.

But I recently decided that it would be good to complete that Eagle Scout project even though it won’t come with my much desire Eagle Scout rank.

It feels right. Maybe I’ll feel a little better about the past.

I plan on doing this in 2019.

31. Print, hang, and/or display at least 25 prints, photos, or portraits in our home.

We have a pile of photos, prints, art, and creations of our children just waiting to be hung on our walls and displayed on our shelves. Part of our delay has been the plan to paint our walls, but waiting is dumb. By the end of the year, I intend on having at least 25 of these photos, prints, and art displayed in our home.

32. Renovate our first floor bathroom.

The floor in our first floor bathroom is falling apart. The walls are ugly, Elysha despises the sink. Renovation is required. It must happen soon.

33. Organize our second floor bathroom.

Our second floor bathroom, used primarily by our kids, is filled with bins of clothing, extra furniture, and more. I need to tackle it aggressively so it’s a well organized, tidy room for the kids. It’s hard to ask children to keep their room clean when they use a room every day that is cluttered.

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2016.

A failed goal from 2017 and 2018 that I will attempt in 2019. I told Elysha that I would make at least one meal a week now that she’s working again, so a dozen dinners shouldn’t be difficult.

35. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

My friend, Bengi, and I lived in a home that became known as the Heavy Metal Playhouse from 1989-1993. It was four of the best years of my life. Enormous parties, the closest of friendships, and the wildness of youth left an indelible mark on me. While I stay in touch with many of my friends from those days, I have not seen many of them in a long time. We have attempted to plan a reunion in the past without success.

In 2016, I tried to plan a reunion but was unable to secure a venue. 

In 2017, I tried to plan a reunion but was unable to secure a venue.

In 2018, I didn’t even try to secure a venue.

I'd really like to make this happen in 2019. 

36. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2019.

I haven't put my kids on their bikes often enough. Part of this has to do with Charlie's age, but after watching my brother get hit by a car while riding his bike as a kid (and being partially responsible for the accident), I've always been nervous about riding with other people. I don't worry about my own safety, but I worry constantly about the safety of others.

In 2018, I changed this by getting my kids on their bikes with me 27 times. They started to get very comfortable and excited about riding. I plan to repeat this in 2019.

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in 2017 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

In 2016, I avoided all negative comments related to a person's physical appearance.

In 2017 I avoided all comments, both positive and negative, about the physical appearance of any person save my wife, children, and in-laws in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I achieved this goal, and by writing about it, I convinced at least eight other people to adopt the policy as well.

For this reason, I will repeat this goal in 2019, even though it's now simply become something I do.  

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2016.

A completed goal from 2017 and 2018 that I will repeat in 2019. 

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

A failed goal from 2012, 2016, and 2017 and 2018 that I am continuing to pursue because these windows are making me crazy.    

40. Clean the basement. 

This was a completed goal from 2014 that needed to be repeated again in 2018 because it has filled up again. I did not finish the job last year, so it remains on the list for 2019.  

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

A failed goal from 2017 and 2018.

My lowest score for nine holes is a 45, and my lowest score for 18 holes is 95. I’d like to improve on either score in 2019.

42. Play poker at least six times in 2019.

A completed goal in 2017 that I failed to complete in 2018.

I love poker. I paid for our honeymoon with profits from poker. I made a mortgage payment in 2012 with poker profits. I am a very good poker player who stopped playing regularly in 2015 because of the time shifted to writing and storytelling.

I missed poker a great deal and brought it last year. Six games in 2019 is not an unreasonable goal even though I failed to achieve it in 2018.  

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

A completed goal in 2017 that I failed to repeat in 2018.

Bengi and I met in a Milford, MA McDonald's back in 1987, and we have been friends ever since. We once lived together (in the aforementioned Heavy Metal Playhouse) and started our DJ business together back in 1996. We have been through a great deal together, but in the last few years, we have seen less of each other even though we live 15 minutes apart. Our interests have shifted away from the things each likes to do, and our families are demanding more of our time, but that's no excuse for not getting together more often.

Six days is more than reasonable.  

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Resolution update: 2018 in review

Every month, I report on the progress of my yearly goals in an attempt to hold myself accountable. Here are the results for December and for 2018 as a whole.

I'll be posting my goals for 2019 tomorrow.

In 2018, I completed 22 of 44 goals for a success rate of 50%. This is slightly below my eight year average of 55.6%.

My previous year success rates:

2010: 44%
2011: 62%
2012: 30%
2013: 60%
2014: 60%
2015: 59%
2016: 59%
2017: 71%

Despite only completing half of my goals, I had some areas of great success in 2018. I performed especially well in the areas of storytelling, completing 8 of 9 goals. 

While I'm pleased with the overall results, there were some missed opportunities. My biggest disappointments included my failure to lose 20 pounds, my failure to write three new picture books, and my failure to complete any of my larger writing projects.

Those were all very doable in 2018. 

There were also quite a few pathetic failures.

I failed to write a new screenplay. I failed to finalize any details for our Heavy Metal Playhouse reunion. I didn't cook a single meal for Elysha for the second straight year. I failed to play six games of poker. I failed to spend at least six days when my best friend of more than 30 years.

These were not difficult goals to achieve or at least get started.

2018 also provided to be an extraordinary year in many regards. I had several surprising accomplishments and firsts that did not make my initial list of resolutions but became important as the year progressed.

I posted that list separately.

Here are my specific successes and failures from 2018: 

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

I’m healthy and well. Totally alive.

SUCCESS

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I gained another two pounds in December, finishing the year 8 pounds down and 12 pounds from the goal.

FAIL 

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day. 

I had three servings of fruits and/or vegetables on 22 of 31 days in December. Although I increased my servings of fruits and vegetables significantly in 2018, I did not achieve 100% during even a single month of the year.

FAIL

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

SUCCESS

5. Identify a yoga routine that I can commit to practicing at least three days a week.

I spent a full week at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health this summer. I did not take a single yoga class. 

I also spent two full weekends at Kripalu in April and December. I did not take a single yoga class during either of those weekends.

FAIL

6. Stop using the snooze button.

Done and still highly recommended. Science is right. Snoozing is a terrible practice that you must end immediately. Get the hell out of bed once you are awake. You will feel a lot better.     

SUCCESS

WRITING CAREER

7. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2018.

The first half of the novel is in the hands of my agent now. Hopefully she loves it and my publisher loves it and they pay me ONE BILLION DOLLRS for it.

But because I am awaiting word from my agent and publisher before pressing on, the book is not complete.

FAIL

8. Complete my second middle grade/YA novel.

I've begun revising my first middle grade novel, and it’s going to take some time. Things were slowed down significantly because my editor left the company and my new editor needed time to get up to speed. Finishing a second middle grade novel became impossible for me with the change of editors mid-year.

FAIL

9. Write at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I've begun work on a nonfiction picture book on a famous beaver drop in the 1950's.

I’ve also begun work on a picture book based upon a famous lullaby.

I’ve also begun work on a picture book about the gerund -ing.

I also had a consultation with a well established picture book writer to get tips for future books.

None of the books in progress are close to being finished.

FAIL

10. Write a proposal for a memoir.

My agent and I have decided upon the memoir, and the writing has begun. In lieu of a proposal, I’m just going to write the damn thing, which could take as much as a year.

FAIL

11. Write a new screenplay.

Writing has commenced but is not nearly complete.

FAIL

12. Write a musical.

Writing has commenced but is not close to being complete.

FAIL

13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

One submission (and rejection) in December. Five submitted in all.

SUCCESS

14. Write a proposal for a nonfiction book related to education.

No progress at all in 2018.

FAIL

15. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

Submissions sent to three publishing outlets in December.

SUCCESS

16. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

At the suggestion of a reader, I spent October dipping into pop culture by reading the front page of the TMZ website every morning in an attempt to understand the cravings for the Kardashians and reality television.

I wrote about my experience in December.

At the suggestion of a reader, I spent October saying grace before eating breakfast and lunch.

I will be writing about it soon.

Only two new behaviors were attempted in 2018, mostly because I could not find any new behaviors to try.

FAIL

17. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 2,000.

I added 266 subscribers in December and a total of 830 added in 2018.

My total number of subscribers is now 2,379.

If you'd like to subscribe to my newsletter and receive tips on writing and storytelling, as well as links to the occasional amusing Internet miscellany and more, please subscribe below.

SUCCESS

18. Write at least six letters to my father.

Three letters written in December for a total of six.

SUCCESS

19. Write 100 letters in 2018.

61 letters written in 2018. It’s not 100, but 61 is a big number when it comes to letters, and I enjoyed the hell out of this goal.

FAIL

20. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

I’m still researching the companies that convert blogs to books. I have not found any that I like.

FAIL

21. Record one thing learned every week in 2018.

Done! My favorite from December:

From Tom Whitwell’s 52 Things I Learned in 2018:

Advertisers place a single brown pixel on a bright background in a mobile ad. It looks like dust, so users try to wipe it off. That registers as a click, and the user is taken to the homepage. [Lauren Johnson]

SUCCESS

STORYTELLING

22. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

13 shows produced in 2018.

SUCCESS 

23. Deliver a TEDx Talk.

I spoke at a TEDxNatick salon event in May. 

SUCCESS

24. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I attended a Moth GrandSLAM in December, bringing the total number of Moth events to 15 in 2018. 

SUCCESS

25. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

Two wins in 2018 out of six chances. My lowest win total since 2012. Also my lowest number of StorySLAMs attended since 2012.

FAIL

26. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

Done twice over! I won my fifth GrandSLAM in February and my sixth GrandSLAM in April.

I also placed third in both the September’s and December’s NYC GrandSLAMs at The Music Hall of Brooklyn.

SUCCESS

27. Produce at least 25 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Done! Episodes #30 dropped this week and is now available wherever you get podcasts. Listen to a terrific story from storyteller Chuck Fedolfi. The reception to the podcast has been excellent, and our audience is growing fast. In fact, we more than quadrupled our audience between November and December and expanded our reach to 99 different countries!

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts.

SUCCESS

28. Perform stand up at least four times in 2018. 

I performed stand up six times in 2018 so far, including my first paid gig.

SUCCESS

29. Pitch my solo show to at least one professional theater.

I pitched and performed my solo show at The Tank as part of the Speak Up, Rise Up Storytelling Festival in NYC.

SUCCESS

30. Pitch a new Moth Mainstage story to the artistic director of The Moth. 

I pitched my story on the last day of 2018.

SUCCESS

NEW PROJECTS

31. Write a syllabus for a college course on teaching. 

No progress.

FAIL

32. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2018.

No progress. 

FAIL

33. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress. 

FAIL

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Pay allowance weekly.

Done! Kids are all paid up.

SUCCESS

35. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2018.

Done! A total of 27 rides in 2018.

SUCCESS 

36. I will report on the content of speech during every locker room experience via social media in 2018. 

Done. I did not hear a single person in a single locker room make a single comment related to sexually assaulting women in 2018.

SUCCESS

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children (except in service of a story while appearance is relevant), in 2018 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I commented on physical appearance beyond the stated parameters twice in 2018.

Close enough. I’m giving myself the win.

SUCCESS

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2018.

I surprised Elysha a total of nine times in 2018.

SUCCESS

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I've received estimates for this project. That’s as far as I got.

FAIL

40. Clean the basement. 

More than halfway done this job, but I’m going to need to invest a solid chunk of time completing this project.

FAIL

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

Back in August, I played one round that was only four holes long due to green aeration. I had three pars and a bogie for a total of 14. Technically my best score ever, but perhaps it should not count.

FAIL

42. Play poker at least six times in 2018.

Five games in 2018.

FAIL

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

Four days spent with my best friend in 2018.

FAIL

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

SUCCESS

I engaged with celebrity culture for a month. Here is what I discovered.

One of my 2018 goals is this:

Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

During the month of October, at the suggestion of a reader, I spent at least 15 minutes every morning reading the TMZ website in an attempt to immerse myself in the celebrity culture that I have always shunned and despised.

It did not take long for me to realize that it was going to be a long month.

My initial thought was that investing in celebrity culture might be similar to following the lives of athletes. I spend time almost every day reading about my favorite sports teams and their opponents, learning about who is hurt, what the coaches are thinking, and what the athletes had to say about their performance.

I thought this might be similar. If I’m invested in the lives of athletes who I have never met, I can probably become invested in the lives of celebrities who I’d never met, too.

Turns out I was wrong, for a few reasons:

First, I had no rooting interest in these celebrities. Was I supposed to be excited that a YouTube sensation was dating a super model? Was I expected to be interested in the feud between these two actresses? Should I care that a reality TV star is getting married to a punk rocker?

If so, I can’t imagine why.

I understand the insanity of rooting for a football team comprised of men who I don’t know and have never met. I understand how silly it is to cry while watching strangers win a championship. But I grew up watching the Patriots with my grandfather and the Celtics with my mother. I learned to love these teams because they represented the place where I lived and the people who I loved.

When it comes to sports, there is an emotional connection rooted in tradition, geography, and winner-take-all competition. I watch these men battle. I bear witness to their struggle. I can’t help but admire them. Love them.

In this way, sports, at least for me, are different.

I also love Bruce Springsteen, at least as much as any member of the Patriots, but I would never weep while watching Springsteen win a Grammy because Springsteen doesn’t represent me, and his struggle to win a Grammy did not happen so explicitly and directly before my eyes. His goal was not to defeat his fellow musicians in a battle for Grammy supremacy. He was not standing against an enemy combatant. He wasn’t engaged in a real-life version of Guitar Hero.

He just wants to make great music and sell lots of records and tickets.

I love these athletes because they represent me, and they constantly thank me for their support. I watch them toil through hardship in order to win. I cheer them on when I’m in the arena and the stadium, and sometimes that cheering actually impacts the results of the game.

The noise that we make can change the way the opponent plays. That is incredible.

These have earned my allegiance. My devotion. I feel like I’m a member of the team. In football, I’m referred to as the “twelfth man.” Eleven players on field plus me.

I have no allegiance to Justin Bieber. I never will.

Second, watching sports gives me the opportunity to watch excellence in action, similar to going to a museum to see great paintings or going to a concert to listen to a world-class performer.

I thought that following celebrity culture might offer a similar opportunity, but a website like TMZ and pop culture in general does not celebrate excellence. It does not highlight the beauty of Beyonce’s voice or the acting chops of some new teen heartthrob. It’s all about the drama. You need not be the best in your business to garner the most attention. You simply need to create the most fuss. Experience the most trouble. Create the biggest problems.

I found this exceptionally annoying. Pop culture reporting is drawn to the negative story. The breakup. The divorce. The fight. The spurned lover. It leans heavily to the negative and exploits human beings when they are at their most vulnerable.

I also can’t help but think that pop culture, at least as it’s represented on TMZ, is stupid. Mindless and uninspiring.

On the morning I write this, the headlines on TMZ are:

  • Safaree Asked Erica Mena's Mom and Son For Permission To Marry Her, Before Proposing

  • Forest Whitaker Files Docs For Divorce From Wife Keisha Nash Whitaker

  • 'Goodfellas' Actor Frank Adonis Dead at 83

  • DMX Getting Out of Prison in One Month, He's Got Family and Movie Offers on the Brain

  • Christie Brinkley and Sailor Brinkley Cook Looking Hot During Tropical Christmas Trip

  • CHRIS BROWN SPANKS MONKEY ALLEGATIONS... She's Not My Pet!

  • Chris Brown & Nia Guzman on Verge of Hammering Out New Child Support Deal

Dig a little deeper and there is a story about pay inequity between an actor and an actress, which is poorly written but interesting. Dig a little more and you’ll find a piece written by a retired NFL player about the nature of safety in football today. I’ve read articles like this before, but it’s at least an important and real issue.

But these are not the top stories, nor do they represent the typical pop culture story gaining the most traction today.

Dumb stories gain attention. Terrible behavior garners the headlines.

Lastly, I discovered that my knowledge of celebrity culture actually made their work slightly less appealing to me. I don’t want to know that the man singing the song I love is going through a custody battle. I don’t want know that the actor in the movie I’m watching has cheated on her husband with another actor. I never need to know who is pregnant and who has broken the law.

The last thing I want is the real life nonsense and drama to be filtering into my mind while enjoying the music, television, and film that these people create.

I has happy when the month was over and I could delete the TMZ website from the top bar of favorite websites (and my life). It was a fascinating journey into a world previously unexplored and also a terrifying realization that a significant portion of Americans care who Jennifer Aniston is dating or if Cardi B will take back Offset.

This is entertaining and important to people, and I’m not happy about it.

Time to set some goals for 2019. And perhaps a goal or two for me, too.

As the New Year approaches, you will undoubted see and read many articles on why New Year’s resolutions never work and are best avoided.

It’s a trope that media outlets love to roll out at the end of December. 

It’s nonsense.

New Year’s resolutions (and goal setting in general) work for those who are actually motivated to achieve the desired results and work hard to meet their goals..

Since 2010, I have been posting my New Years resolutions on my blog and social media and charting my progress month by month. While my New Year’s resolution success rate over the past five years stands at just over 55 percent, my life has changed immensely thanks to my yearly goal setting and the pursuit of these goals.

Here are a few examples:

____________________________________

In 2010 I resolved to floss every day. I have not missed a day of flossing since. It’s simply become something I do.

Incidentally, if you would like to start flossing, I suggest that you place the floss in the shower. Doing this creates an incentive:

Who would pass up an extra 30 seconds in the shower in order to be productive and extend your life (people who floss live longer)?

I gave this advice at a book talk in California once (in response to a question about how routines make me more productive), and about six months later, a woman wrote to me to say that while she appreciated everything about my talk, the advice on flossing had changed her life. She’s flossed every day since my talk, and her gums have never been so healthy and pain free.

It’s not hard. You, too, can be a dental nerd like me.
____________________________________

I established the goal of losing 10 pounds in 2010, and I have since lost 55 pounds and entirely changed the way that I live.

  • I exercise five times a week.

  • I know the calorie count of almost every food item that I eat.

  • I’ve permanently reduced meal portions.

  • I look better, feel better, and have more energy than ever before.

I still have weight to lose, but that single goal in 2010 has changed the way I eat, exercise and live ever since, and it will likely provide me with a longer, healthier life.
____________________________________

In an effort to reduce my cholesterol, I resolved to eat three servings of oatmeal a week in 2011. Since then I continue to eat at least that much oatmeal each week as part of my work day lunch. It’s a perfect midday meal: Easy to make, filling, low in calories, and delicious.

Some of my colleagues think I’ve crazy for eating the same thing almost every day, but as a result, my cholesterol dropped 40 points and has remained within the guidelines that my doctor set for me, and while so many of my friends are on medication to control their cholesterol, I am not.

This year one of my colleagues joined me in eating oatmeal everyday, so if I’m crazy, I’m also contagious.
____________________________________

In 2011, after two years of saying that I would do it, I resolved to participate in a Moth event as a storyteller, either at a live show or on their radio broadcast. Since my performance in my first Moth StorySLAM in July of 2011, storytelling has become an enormous part of my life.

I’ve won 38 Moth StorySLAMs and 6 GrandSLAM championships. I’ve told stories on stages all over the world. In 2013, Elysha and I founded Speak Up, and since then, we have produced more than 60 shows and partnered with amazing organizations like Voices of Hope and Yale-New Haven Hospital.

Now I teach storytelling to almost anyone you could imagine: CEOs and artists. Priests, minsters, and rabbis. Entertainers and writers. Salespeople and teachers. Professors and attorneys and real estate agents. Superintendents and social media teams. I’ve taught I’ve taught storytelling to Mohawk Indians on a reservation in Canada and to 13 rabbis on a retreat in upstate New York.

My teaching of storytelling led to the writing of Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life Through the Power of Storytelling.

That simple 2011 goal of telling one story at one Moth event has blossomed into one of the most important parts of my creative life.
____________________________________

In 2014, one of my goals was to “Find a way to keep Elysha home for one more year with the kids.”  Honestly, I didn’t know how we would ever be able to manage living on one income for another year after surviving on one income for almost five years. I didn’t think it possible. But as soon as I wrote the goal down, my mindset instantly shifted from “Can I make this happen?” to “How am I going to make happen?”

I went on to achieve that goal three more times until Elysha finally went back to work this year.

Writing down the goal  and acknowledging its importance made the decision automatic for me.

Figuring out the “How?” hasn’t always been easy, but the kids would never know it, and that’s what matters most.   

Don’t let anyone fool you. New Year’s resolutions (and goal setting in general) can change your life, for the upcoming year and sometimes forever, if you actually apply yourself and monitor your progress carefully.  

My advice:

  • Establish measurable goals that do not depend upon the actions or decisions of others for success. My goals are now to “Submit a book proposal” rather than “Publish a book.” Keep your goals within your control. I don’t always follow this rule (“Win three Moth StorySLAMs,” for example, relies on the opinions of judges), but I almost always do.

  • Create a specific plan for accomplishing each goal.

  • Check on progress regularly, and create a schedule for this.

  • Remind yourself repeatedly about what your life would look like if you achieved your goals. Envision this new life. See it in your mind’s eye as a reality.

  • Remind yourself that most people fail to accomplish their New Year’s resolutions, and that you are better than most people.

Two years ago, I came upon a piece in the Wall Street Journal on New Year’s resolutions that suggests that outsourcing your resolutions may improve your ability to achieve them.

Most of us could use help achieving our goals. Who better to tell us how to improve ourselves than someone who knows us well—perhaps better than we know ourselves—and even may be all too happy to offer up some tough love? And if we promise to check in regularly with this person to discuss our progress, we’ll probably do a much better job of keeping our resolutions.

“We all have blind spots, but the people we are intimate with can see through them,” says David Palmiter, a couples therapist and professor of psychology at Marywood University, in Scranton, Pa. A loved one can encourage us to meet our goals and hold us accountable when we slip, he says.

I had always asked a select group of friends to suggest goals for my upcoming year, but after reading this piece, I thought it might be a good idea to open up my goal selection process to anyone who might want to participate. I’ve been doing this for the past five years.

So if you’d like to suggest a goal for me in 2019, I would love to hear your ideas. Please note that this does not guarantee that I will adopt every suggested goal, but I will seriously consider all that are submitted.

Also note that all goals must be empirically measurable, so a goal like “Be less of a jerk-face” cannot be included in my list of resolutions (even if it’s a valid suggestion) because there is no way for me to determine if the goal was met.

But you’re welcome to tell me to stop being a jerk-face at any time if you’d like.

Not need to wait until the end of the year to make that request.

Submit your suggestions by commenting on this post or emailing me at matthewdicks@gmail.com.

Now go set a few goals for yourself in 2019. Maybe start with flossing. You can’t overstate the value of healthy gums.

Resolution update: November 2018

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

My left ear has been filled with fluid since a plane flight two weeks ago. My doc says it should clear in another week of so, and it’s not life threatening.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I gained another pound in November, so now I’m 10 pounds down and 10 pounds from the goal.  

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day. 

I had three servings of fruits and/or vegetables on 20 of 30 days in November.

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.  

5. Identify a yoga routine that I can commit to practicing at least three days a week.

I spent a full week at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. I did not take a single yoga class. Maybe I should’ve done yoga dancing with Jeni Bonaldo, but it looked too dumb to try.

I’ll spend another weekend at Kripalu in December. Maybe I’ll take a class in between my workshops?

6. Stop using the snooze button.

Done and still highly recommended. Science is right. Snoozing is a terrible practice that you must end immediately. Get the hell out of bed once you are awake. You will feel a lot better.     

WRITING CAREER

7. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2018.

The first half (or two-thirds) of the novel is in the hands of my agent now. Hopefully she loves it and my publisher loves it and they pay me ONE BILLION DOLLRS for it.

8. Complete my second middle grade/YA novel.

I've begun revising my first middle grade novel, and it’s going to take some time. Things were slowed down significantly because my editor left the company and my new editor needed time to get up to speed. Finishing a second middle grade novel is looking highly unlikely this year because of these unforeseen delays.  

9. Write at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I've begun work on a nonfiction picture book on a famous beaver drop in the 1950's.

I’ve also begun work on a picture book based upon a famous lullaby.

I’ve also begun work on a picture book on the gerund -ing.

I also have plans to consult with a well established picture book writer next week (after cancelling twice).  

10. Write a proposal for a memoir.

My agent and I have decided upon the memoir, and the writing has begun. In lieu of a proposal, I’m just going to write the damn thing, which could take as much as a year.

11. Write a new screenplay.

Writing has commenced. Completion is possible.

12. Write a musical.

Writing has commenced. Completion by the end of 2018 is impossible.

13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

One submission submitted (and rejected) in November. Four submitted so far.

14. Write a proposal for a nonfiction book related to education.

No progress.

15. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

16. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

I spent October dipping into pop culture by reading the front page of the TMZ website every morning in an attempt to understand the cravings for the Kardashians and reality television.

I will be writing about it soon.

I need a second behavior to begin ASAP. Any suggestions?

17. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 2,000.

Done!

I added 156 subscribers in November and a total of 564 added in 2018. My total number of subscribers is now 2,113.

If you'd like to subscribe to my newsletter and receive tips on writing and storytelling, as well as links to the occasional amusing Internet miscellany and more, please subscribe here:

18. Write at least six letters to my father.

No letters written in November. Three letters written thus far.

19. Write 100 letters in 2018.

Zero letters written and mailed in November. My total remains at 50 letters in 2018.

I need to get my ass in gear.

20. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

I have begun researching the companies that convert blogs to books. I have not found any that I like.

Help?

21. Record one thing learned every week in 2018.

Done! My favorite from November:

In the early 20th century, goldfish (which were incredibly cheap) were treated like fresh cut flowers:

Beautiful things placed in bowls on tables and never fed.

When they died, they were simply discarded and replaced, just like flowers.

Terrible. Right?

STORYTELLING

22. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

Done!

One show produced in November at Space Ballroom in Hamden, CT.

Our total number of shows now stands at 12. One more to go. Tonight! 

23. Deliver a TEDx Talk.

Done! I spoke at a TEDxNatick salon event in May. 

24. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

Two Moth StorySLAMs in November bringing the total number of Moth events to 14 in 2018. 

25. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

A second place finish in November leaves me with a total of two wins so far in 2018.

Running out of time… one or two more chances.

26. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

Done twice over! I won my fifth GrandSLAM in February and my sixth GrandSLAM in April.

I also placed third in September’s GrandSLAM at The Music Hall of Brooklyn, and I’ll be competing in one more NYC GrandSLAM in December.

27. Produce at least 25 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Done! Episodes #26 dropped this week and is now available wherever you get podcasts. Listen to a terrific story from storyteller Linda Storms. The reception to the podcast has been excellent, and our audience is growing fast. In fact, we more than quintupled our audience in the last week and expanded our reach to 60 different countries!

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts.

28. Perform stand up at least four times in 2018. 

Done!

I’ve performed stand up six times in 2018 so far, including my first paid gig.

29. Pitch my solo show to at least one professional theater.

Done! I’ve performed my solo show at The Tank as part of the Speak Up, Rise Up Storytelling Festival in NYC.

30. Pitch a new Moth Mainstage story to the artistic director of The Moth. 

I’ll pitch it this month.

NEW PROJECTS

31. Write a syllabus for a college course on teaching. 

No progress.

32. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2018.

No progress. 

33. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress. 

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Pay allowance weekly.

Done! Kids are all paid up.

35. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2018.

Done! Two more rides in November, bringing the total for the year to 27. Charlie loves riding his bike, and Clara is getting a lot more comfortable on her big girl bike. 

36. I will report on the content of speech during every locker room experience via social media in 2018. 

Done. I spent 23 days in a locker room in November, and I did not hear a single comment related to sexually assaulting women.  

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children (except in service of a story while appearance is relevant), in 2018 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

In November, I asked a parent about a clothing item worn by his daughter, partially out of curiosity (I wanted to know what it was) and partly out of jest. This was the second time that I commented on the physical appearance of another person.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2018.

Done! I've surprised Elysha a total of nine times in 2018.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I've received some more reasonable estimates for this project. It might actually be doable. Especially if I had more money.

40. Clean the basement. 

More than halfway done this job, but I’m going to need to invest a solid chunk of time completing this project.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I played half a dozen rounds of golf in November, but I did not come close to my personal best. 

Back in August, I played one round that was only four holes long due to green aeration. I had three pars and a bogie for a total of 14. Technically my best score ever, but perhaps it should not count. 

42. Play poker at least six times in 2018.

Zero games played in November. Five in all so far.

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

No get-togethers in November. My number stands at four.

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution Update: October 2018

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Healthy as an ox.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I lost 12 pounds at the peak of my illness, then gained back 6 pounds as I started to eat again. Then I gained another 6 pounds, so now I’m 11 pounds down and 9 pounds from the goal.  

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day. 

I had three servings of fruits and/or vegetables on 18 of 31 days in October.

Not great. A week at camp with my students didn’t help.

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.  

5. Identify a yoga routine that I can commit to practicing at least three days a week.

I spent a full week at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. I did not take a single yoga class. 

6. Stop using the snooze button.

Done and still highly recommended. Science is right. Snoozing is a terrible practice that you must end immediately. Get the hell out of bed once you are awake. You will feel a lot better.     

That said, the cats kept me in bed for an extra 15 minutes on at least three days in October. Not snoozing but fully awake and completely non-productive.

WRITING CAREER

7. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2018.

Progress continues. Shipping off the first half to my agent this week, I hope. 

I said that last month, too.  

8. Complete my second middle grade/YA novel.

I've begun revising my first middle grade novel, and it’s going to take some time. Things were slowed down significantly because my editor left the company and my new editor needed time to get up to speed. Finishing a second middle grade novel is looking highly unlikely this year because of these unforeseen delays.  

9. Write at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I've begun work on a nonfiction picture book on a famous beaver drop in the 1950's.

I’ve also begun work on a picture book based upon a famous lullaby.

I also have plans to consult with a well established picture book writer this week.  

10. Write a proposal for a memoir.

My agent and I have decided upon the memoir, and the writing has begun. In lieu of a proposal, I’m just going to write the damn thing, which could take as much as a year.

11. Write a new screenplay.

Writing has commenced.

12. Write a musical.

Writing has commenced.  

13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

Nothing submitted in October. Three submitted so far.

14. Write a proposal for a nonfiction book related to education.

No progress.

15. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

16. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

I spent October dipping into pop culture by reading the front page of the TMZ website every morning in an attempt to understand the cravings for the Kardashians and reality television.

I will be writing about it soon.

I need a second behavior to begin ASAP. Any suggestions?

17. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 2,000.

I added 30 subscribers added in October, and a total of 408 added in 2018. I'm just 43 away from my goal. If I manage to acquire one subscriber per day, I’ll hit my goal with ease.

If you'd like to subscribe to my newsletter and receive tips on writing and storytelling, as well as links to the occasional amusing Internet miscellany and more, please subscribe here:

18. Write at least six letters to my father.

No letters written in October. Three letters written thus far.

19. Write 100 letters in 2018.

Just two letters written and mailed in October, bringing my total to 50 in 2018.

I need to get my ass in gear.

20. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

I have begun researching the companies that convert blogs to books. I have not found any that I like.

Help?

21. Record one thing learned every week in 2018.

Done! My favorite from October:

Mister Rogers always mentioned out loud that he was feeding his fish because a young blind viewer once asked him to do so. She wanted to know the fish were OK.

STORYTELLING

22. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

One show produced in October at Infinity Hall in Hartford.

Our total number of shows now stands at 11. 

23. Deliver a TEDx Talk.

Done! I spoke at a TEDxNatick salon event in May. 

24. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

Two Moth StorySLAMs in October, bringing the total number of Moth events to 12 in 2018. 

25. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

Victory in October! From first position no less!

A total of two wins so far in 2018.

26. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

Done twice over! I won my fifth GrandSLAM in February and my sixth GrandSLAM in April.

I also placed third in September’s GrandSLAM at The Music Hall of Brooklyn.

27. Produce at least 25 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Episodes #24 dropped this week and is now available wherever you get podcasts. Listen to a terrific story from storyteller Laura Terranova. The reception to the podcast has been excellent, and our audience is growing fast.

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts.

28. Perform stand up at least four times in 2018. 

Done!

I’ve performed stand up six times in 2018 so far, including my first paid gig.

29. Pitch my solo show to at least one professional theater.

Done! I’ve performed my solo show at The Tank as part of the Speak Up, Rise Up Storytelling Festival in NYC.

30. Pitch a new Moth Mainstage story to the artistic director of The Moth. 

I’m deciding on a story to pitch.

NEW PROJECTS

31. Write a syllabus for a college course on teaching. 

No progress.

32. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2018.

No progress. 

33. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress. 

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Pay allowance weekly.

Done! Kids are all paid up.

35. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2018.

Done! Four rides in October, bringing the total for the year to 25. Charlie loves riding his bike, and Clara is getting a lot more comfortable on her big girl bike. 

36. I will report on the content of speech during every locker room experience via social media in 2018. 

Done. I spent 28 days in a locker room in October, and I did not hear a single comment related to sexually assaulting women.  

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children (except in service of a story while appearance is relevant), in 2018 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

Done. Easy as pie. Never a need to speak about a person’s physical appearance.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2018.

Done! I've surprised Elysha a total of nine times in 2018.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I've received some more reasonable estimates for this project. It might actually be doable. Especially if I had more money.

40. Clean the basement. 

More than halfway done this job, but I’m going to need to invest a solid chunk of time completing this project.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I played half a dozen rounds of golf in October, but I did not come close to my personal best. 

Back in August, I played one round that was only four holes long due to green aeration. I had three pars and a bogie for a total of 14. Technically my best score ever, but perhaps it should not count. 

42. Play poker at least six times in 2018.

Three games of poker in October, all played after the kids went to bed at camp, bringing my total to five games this year.  

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

We worked a wedding in October, bringing my total to four. I also tried to arrange another get-together, but he was not able to do so.

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: September 2018

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

I’ve had a cold that lasted the entire month of September (and I’m still a little sick), but it didn’t kill me.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I lost 12 pounds at the peak of my illness, then gained back 6 pounds as I started to eat again. I'm now 17 pounds down and 3 pounds from the goal.  

This insidious virus was good for something.

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day. 

I had three servings of fruits and/or vegetables on 14 of 30 days in September.

Worst month so far. Primarily because I wasn’t eating much at all.

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done. With this cold, it was not easy.  

5. Identify a yoga routine that I can commit to practicing at least three days a week.

I spent a full week at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. I did not take a single yoga class. 

6. Stop using the snooze button.

Done and still highly recommended. Science is right. Snoozing is a terrible practice that you must end immediately. Get the hell out of bed once you are awake. You will feel a lot better.     

WRITING CAREER

7. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2018.

Progress continues. Shipping off the first half to my agent this week, I hope.   

8. Complete my second middle grade/YA novel.

I've begun revising my first middle grade novel, and it’s going to take some time. Things were slowed down significantly because my editor left the company and my new editor needed time to get up to speed. Finishing a second middle grade novel is looking highly unlikely this year because of these unforeseen delays.  

9. Write at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I've begun work on a nonfiction picture book on a famous beaver drop in the 1950's.

I also have plans to consult with a well established picture book writer this month.  

10. Write a proposal for a memoir.

My agent and I have decided upon the memoir, and progress has begun. 

11. Write a new screenplay.

Writing has commenced.

12. Write a musical.

Writing has commenced.  

13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

Nothing submitted in September. Three submitted so far.

14. Write a proposal for a nonfiction book related to education.

No progress.

15. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

16. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

No progress. I'm still looking for possible behaviors to adopt. Suggestions welcomed.  

17. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 2,000.

I added 57 subscribers added in September, and a total of 378 added in 2018. I'm just 74 away from my goal. If I manage to acquire one subscriber per day, I’ll hit my goal with ease.

If you'd like to subscribe to my newsletter and receive tips on writing and storytelling, as well as links to the occasional amusing Internet miscellany and more, please subscribe here:

18. Write at least six letters to my father.

No letters written in September. Three letters written thus far.

19. Write 100 letters in 2018.

Just two letters written and mailed in September, bringing my total to 50 in 2018.

20. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

I have begun researching the companies that convert blogs to books. I have not found any that I like.

21. Record one thing learned every week in 2018.

Done! My favorite from September, again from the Numlock Newsletter: 

Mosquitoes have been the bane of the human species for generations, but a controversial new gene edit could hypothetically wipe out an entire species if introduced. Essentially, female mosquitoes that have two copies of a specifically edited gene are infertile, while females with one copy can reproduce and males with any copy can reproduce. Tests were carried out on two groups of mosquitoes by mixing in genetically edited males to 12.5 percent of the total population. Soon enough — within 7 generations in one group and within 11 generations in the other — all the females were sterile, and thus the population collapsed. Further tests are being done, but the question is an interesting one: if we could eradicate mosquitoes, should we?

STORYTELLING

22. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

One show produced in September: Our first show, a standing-room-only affair, at Space Ballroom in Hamden, CT.  

Our total number of shows now stands at 10. 

23. Deliver a TEDx Talk.

Done! I spoke at a TEDxNatick salon event in May. 

24. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

Two Moth StorySLAMs and one Moth GrandSLAM in September, bringing the total number of Moth events to 10 in 2018. 

25. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

Two second place finishes in September. One victory back in February. 

26. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

Done twice over! I won my fifth GrandSLAM in February and my sixth GrandSLAM in April.

I placed third in September’s GrandSLAM at The Music Hall of Brooklyn.

27. Produce at least 25 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Episodes #19 dropped today and is now available wherever you get podcasts. Listen to a terrific story from storyteller Valerie Gordon. The reception to the podcast has been excellent, and our audience is growing fast.

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts.

28. Perform stand up at least four times in 2018. 

Done!

I performed in three open-mic events while in Grand Rapids, Michigan, including one night when I was asked to perform a second set. This brings my total number of stand up performances in 2018 to six, including one paid gig.   

29. Pitch my solo show to at least one professional theater.

Done! I performed my solo show at The Tank as part of the Speak Up, Rise Up Storytelling Festival in NYC.

30. Pitch a new Moth Mainstage story to the artistic director of The Moth. 

No progress.

NEW PROJECTS

31. Write a syllabus for a college course on teaching. 

No progress.

32. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2018.

No progress. 

33. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress. 

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Pay allowance weekly.

Done! Kids are all paid up.

35. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2018.

Ten rides in September, bringing the total for the year to 21. Charlie loves riding his bike, and Clara is getting a lot more comfortable on her big girl bike. 

36. I will report on the content of speech during every locker room experience via social media in 2018. 

Done. I only spent 16 days in a locker room in September, and I did not hear a single comment related to sexually assaulting women.  

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children (except in service of a story while appearance is relevant), in 2018 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I broke my rule and declared that Serena Williams is beautiful after a bunch of knuckle draggers said otherwise. Other than that intentional rule breaking moment, I did not speak of physical appearance with the exception of my wife and kids in September. 

This included saying nothing to a student who colored her hair a light shade of blue.

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2018.

Done! I've surprised Elysha a total of nine times in 2018.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I've received some more reasonable estimates for this project. It might actually be doable. Especially if I had more money.

40. Clean the basement. 

More than halfway done this job, but I’m going to need to invest a solid chunk of time completing this project.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I played many rounds of golf in September, but I did not come close to my personal best. 

Back in August, I played one round that was only four holes long due to aeration. I had three pars and a bogie for a total of 14. Technically my best score ever, but perhaps it should not count. 

42. Play poker at least six times in 2018.

No poker in September. Just two games all year. 

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

My total stands at three. No progress in September. 

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: August 2018

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Still alive and amazing.

2. Lose 20 pounds.

I gained a pound in August. I'm now 11 pounds down and 9 from the goal.  

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day. 

I had three servings of fruits and/or vegetables on 20 of 31 days in August.

Worst month so far.

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.  

5. Identify a yoga routine that I can commit to practicing at least three days a week.

I spent a full week at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. I did not take a single yoga class. 

6. Stop using the snooze button.

Done and still highly recommended. Science is right. Snoozing is a terrible practice that you must end immediately. Get the hell out of bed once you are awake. You will feel a lot better.     

WRITING CAREER

7. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2018.

My agent and I have settled on the next novel. Progress continues.   

8. Complete my second middle grade/YA novel.

I've submitted my first middle grade novel to my editor. I have a phone call with her next week. I can't choose or start the next book until the first is complete. 

This one is looking very unlikely. 

9. Write at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

I've begun work on a nonfiction picture book on a famous beaver drop in the 1950's. 

10. Write a proposal for a memoir.

My agent and I have decided upon the memoir, and progress has begun. 

11. Write a new screenplay.

Writing has commenced.

12. Write a musical.

Writing has commenced. 

13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

Nothing submitted in July. Three submitted so far.

14. Write a proposal for a nonfiction book related to education.

No progress.

15. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

16. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

No progress. I'm still looking for possible behaviors to adopt. Suggestions welcomed.  

17. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 2,000.

I added 23 subscribers added in July, and a total of 321 added in 2018. I'm 131 away from my goal. 

If you'd like to subscribe to my newsletter and receive tips on writing and storytelling, as well as links to amusing Internet miscellany and more, please subscribe here:

18. Write at least six letters to my father.

No letters written in August. Three letters written thus far.

19. Write 100 letters in 2018.

Four letters written and mailed in August, bringing my total to 48 in 2018.

20. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

No progress.  

21. Record one thing learned every week in 2018.

Done! My favorite from August, from the Numlock Newsletter: 

An analysis of the front pockets in 80 pairs of blue jeans found that the pockets in women’s jeans are 48 percent shorter and 6.5 percent narrower than men’s jeans pockets. The average women’s jean pocket is 5.6 inches deep and 6 inches across, which on a temperate day could conceivably hold a pen that has a little flexibility, while the average men’s jean pocket is 9.1 inches down and 6.4 inches wide, which is literally large enough to comfortably hold an iPad mini.

STORYTELLING

22. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

Three shows produced in August: a showcase at the CT Historical Society, a showcase at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, and a solo show (with a guest appearance by Jeni Bonaldo) at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. 

Our total number of shows stands at 9. 

23. Deliver a TEDx Talk.

Done! I spoke at a TEDxNatick salon event in May. 

24. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

Two Moth StorySLAMs in August, bringing the total to 7 in 2018. 

25. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

A second and a third place finished in August. One victory back in February. 

26. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

Done twice over! I won my fifth GrandSLAM in February and my sixth GrandSLAM in April.

I'll be competing in another GrandSLAM in NYC in September. 

27. Produce at least 25 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Episodes 1-15 are now now available wherever you get podcasts. The reception to the podcast has been excellent, and our audience is growing fast.

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts.

C'mon, people.  

28. Perform stand up at least four times in 2018. 

Done!

I performed in three open-mic events while in Grand Rapids, Michigan, including one night when I was asked to perform a second set. This brings my total number of stand up performances in 2018 to 6, including one paid gig.   

29. Pitch my solo show to at least one professional theater.

Done! I performed my solo show at The Tank as part of the Speak Up, Rise Up Storytelling Festival in NYC.

30. Pitch a new Moth Mainstage story to the artistic director of The Moth. 

No progress.

NEW PROJECTS

31. Write a syllabus for a college course on teaching. 

No progress.

32. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2018.

No progress. 

33. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress. 

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Pay allowance weekly.

Done! 

35. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2018.

Only six more rides in August , bringing the total to 11. 

36. I will report on the content of speech during every locker room experience via social media in 2018. 

Done. I spent 22 days at two different gyms in August, plus a locker room at a golf course, and I did not hear a single comment related to sexually assaulting women.  

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children (except in service of a story while appearance is relevant), in 2018 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I did not speak of physical appearance with the exception of my wife and kids in August. 

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2018.

Done! I've surprised Elysha a total of nine times in 2018.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I've received some more reasonable estimates for this project. It might actually be doable.

40. Clean the basement. 

More than halfway done this job.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I played many rounds of golf in August, and I came within 4 strokes of my personal best. 

I also played one round that was only four holes long due to aeration. I had three pars and a bogie for a total of 14. Technically my best score ever, but perhaps it should not count. 

42. Play poker at least six times in 2018.

No poker in August. Just two games all year. 

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

A spent an evening working as a DJ with Bengi in August, bringing my total to three. 

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: July 2018

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Still alive. Feel fantastic. 

2. Lose 20 pounds.

Stuck at 12 pounds lost. 

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day. 

I had three servings of fruits and/or vegetables on 22 of 31 days in July. Worst month so far.

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.  

5. Identify a yoga routine that I can commit to practicing at least three days a week.

No progress. In August, I will spend a full week at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. I'll be teaching storytelling, but I'll also have the opportunity to take some yoga classes and perhaps find a routine that fits my lifestyle and personal preference.  

6. Stop using the snooze button.

Done and still highly recommended. Science is right. Snoozing is a terrible practice that you must end immediately. Get the hell out of bed once you are awake. You will feel a lot better.     

WRITING CAREER

7. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2018.

My agent and I have settled on the next novel. Progress has begun.  

8. Complete my second middle grade/YA novel.

I've submitted my first middle grade novel to my editor and am awaiting word in terms of required revision. I can't choose or start the next book until the first is complete. 

9. Write at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

No progress

10. Write a proposal for a memoir.

My agent and I have decided upon the memoir, and progress has begun. First draft of the proposal has been sent to my agent for review.

11. Write a new screenplay.

Writing has commenced.

12. Write a musical.

Writing has commenced. 

13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

Nothing submitted in July. Three submitted so far.

4. Write a proposal for a nonfiction book related to education.

No progress.

15. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

16. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

No progress. I'm still looking for possible behaviors to adopt. Suggestions welcomed.  

17. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 2,000.

I added 98 subscribers added in July, and a total of 298 added in 2018. I'm 153 away from my goal. 

If you'd like to subscribe to my newsletter and receive tips on writing and storytelling, as well as links to amusing Internet miscellany and more, please subscribe here:

18. Write at least six letters to my father.

One letter written in July. Three letters written thus far.

19. Write 100 letters in 2018.

12 letters written and mailed in July, bringing my total to 44 in 2018.

20. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

No progress.  

21. Record one thing learned every week in 2018.

Done! My favorite from July:      

There are only four countries in the world which have bigger GDP’s than California, and Russia is not one of them. In fact, three US states have bigger GDP’s than Russia - California, Texas, and New York.

STORYTELLING

22. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

No shows produced in July. Our total number of shows stands at 6. 

23. Deliver a TEDx Talk.

Done! I spoke at a TEDxNatick salon event in May. 

24. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

Two Moth StorySLAMs in July, bringing the total to five in 2018. 

25. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

Two second place finished in July. One victory back in February. 

26. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

Done twice over! I won my fifth GrandSLAM in February and my sixth GrandSLAM in April.

27. Produce at least 25 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Episodes 1-11 are now now available wherever you get podcasts. The reception to the podcast has been excellent, and our audience is growing fast.

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts.

C'mon, people.  

28. Perform stand up at least four times in 2018. 

Done! I performed in three open-mic events while in Grand Rapids, Michigan, including one night when I was asked to perform a second set. This brings my total number of stand up performances in 2018 to 5, including one paid gig.   

29. Pitch my one-person show to at least one professional theater.

Done! My one-person show has been pitched and been accepted by the Speak Up, Rise Up Storytelling Festival. I'll be performing on Tuesday, August 7 at 9:30pm on their Main Stage.

You should come!

30. Pitch a new Moth Mainstage story to the artistic director of The Moth. 

No progress.

NEW PROJECTS

31. Write a syllabus for a college course on teaching. 

No progress.

32. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2018.

No progress. 

33. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress. 

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Pay allowance weekly.

Done! 

35. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2018.

Only three more rides in July, bringing the total to five. 

36. I will report on the content of speech during every locker room experience via social media in 2018. 

Done. I spent 30 days at three different gyms (including three different locker rooms) in July, plus two locker rooms at golf courses, and I did not hear a single comment related to sexually assaulting women.  

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children (except in service of a story while appearance is relevant), in 2018 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I did not speak of physical appearance with the exception of my wife and kids in July. 

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2018.

I surprised Elysha FOUR TIMES in July, bringing my total number of surprises to nine. 

  1. I stuck a Starbucks gift card to her steering wheel with a note written in marker on the actual card.
  2. I purchased a shirt that I knew she loved (she pointed it out at a farmer's market, so I hunted down the sell) and timed the purchase so it would arrive while I was in Michigan.
  3. I arrived home from Michigan a day early without tell her that I had finished my work ahead of schedule. After the plane landed, I found her in a restaurant with a friend and presented her with a gift from the trip and some flowers.  
  4. I took Elysha to In & Of Itself, an incredible magic show in New York City. She had no idea where she was going or what we were doing.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I've received some more reasonable estimates for this project. It might actually be doable.

40. Clean the basement. 

More than halfway done this job.

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I played several rounds of golf in July, and I came within 3 strokes of my personal best. 

42. Play poker at least six times in 2018.

No poker in July. I cancelled another game due to lack of players. 

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

A spent an evening working as a DJ with Bengi in July, bringing my total to two. 

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: June 2018

We've reached the end of June. The halfway point of the year. In addition to updating the goals on a monthly basis, I'll be projecting the likelihood of my success for each of my goals. 

PERSONAL HEALTH

1. Don’t die.

Feel fantastic. The tube was removed from my ear in June, and I'm swimming, running, and golfing. I feel like I'm 24 years old. Truly. Staving off death with glee.

There is, however, a large hornet/wasp/bee nest in our front yard, and bees kill me dead. Exterminator has been summoned. 

PROJECTION: I expect to meet this goal with ease.  

2. Lose 20 pounds.

Two more pounds lost in June, bringing my total to 12.

PROJECTION: More than halfway to the goal with steady progress means this goal will likely to be met.   

3. Eat at least three servings of fruits and/or vegetables per day. 

I had three servings of fruits and/or vegetables on 26 of 30 days in June.

PROJECTION: I'm not sure if I'll ever achieve a month of 100% completion, but eating at least three fruits and/or vegetables a day for more than 90% of the days is a vast improvement on my previous lifestyle and probably a more realistic goal.  

4. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week.

Done.  

PROJECTION: Other than a two week layoff for a pulled chest muscle, this goal has been easily completed thus far. Completion is highly likely.  

5. Identify a yoga routine that I can commit to practicing at least three days a week.

No progress. In August, I will spend a full week at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. I'll be teaching storytelling, but I'll also have the opportunity to take some yoga classes and perhaps find a routine that fits my lifestyle and personal preference.  

PROJECTION: Still possible, but it depends upon finding a routine that appeals to me. 

6. Stop using the snooze button.

Done and still highly recommended. Science is right. Snoozing is a terrible practice that you must end immediately. Get the hell out of bed once you are awake. You will feel a lot better.    

PROJECTION: Easily achieved. 

WRITING CAREER

7. Complete my seventh novel before the end of 2018.

My agent and I have settled on the next novel. Progress has begun.

PROJECTION: The likelihood of completion is high.  

8. Complete my second middle grade/YA novel.

I've submitted my first middle grade novel to my editor and am awaiting word in terms of required revision. I can't choose or start the next book until the first is complete. 

PROJECTION: The delay from my editor in returning my manuscript is jeopardizing the completion of this goal in 2018. Likelihood of achieving this goal is in doubt. 

9. Write at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist. 

No progress.

PROJECTION: Likely. Even though I have yet to start, this goal is still very doable. Chances of success are high.  

10. Write a proposal for a memoir.

My agent and I have decided upon the memoir, and progress has begun. First draft of the proposal has been sent to my agent for review.

PROJECTION: Likelihood of completIon is high. 

11. Write a new screenplay.

No progress in June.

PROJECTION: Still possible, and I have many screenplay ideas, but other things may end up crowding this one out. Likelihood of success is doubtful. 

12. Write a musical.

Writing has commenced. 

PROJECTION: A very rough draft should be done by the end of the year. Completion is better than 50/50. 

13. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.

Nothing submitted in June.

PROJECTION: I've submitted a total of three pieces so far. All have been rejected. Likelihood that this goal will be met is high. 

4. Write a proposal for a nonfiction book related to education.

No progress.

PROJECTION: My agent doesn't love my ideas for his book, so although a proposal is very doable, the likelihood of it earning any money is low (in her expert opinion), so it may be one of the goals left by the wayside this year. Completion of this goal is in doubt.

15. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets.

No progress.

PROJECTION: Submitting stories is simple, and I have stories ready to go. The likelihood of completing this goal is high. 

16. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog.

No progress. I'm still looking for possible behaviors to adopt. Suggestions welcomed. 

PROJECTION: Provided that I can find three behaviors to adopt, this goal is very doable. After three years of completing this goal, I fear that I may have run out of behaviors that I oppose. 

17. Increase my author newsletter subscriber base to 2,000.

A whopping 89 subscribers added in June, and a total of 200 added in 2018. 

PROJECTION: A big month of June brought me to exactly half the number of subscribers needed to achieve the goal, so I am currently on pace to succeed. 

I'm also changing my approach to newsletters starting this month. Rather than sending a large monthly email, I'll be shifting to a much shorter weekly newsletter that offers advice on storytelling, writing, and the like. An expert in this field suggests that a large newsletter is often dismissed by readers, but a short, actionable newsletter will garner readers and offer content that more people want. 

I hope so!

If you'd like to subscribe to my newsletter and receive tips on writing and storytelling, as well as links to amusing Internet miscellany and more, please subscribe here:

18. Write at least six letters to my father.

No progress in June.

PROJECTION: Two letters written thus far. It's highly likely that I will achieve this goal, though if my father would actually reply to one of my letters and stop ignoring me, that would help my desire to write to him immensely. 

19. Write 100 letters in 2018.

Just one letter written and mailed in June.

PROJECTION: I've written 32 letters in total so far, which is off the pace for 100, but making up ground this summer should not be too hard. The goal is likely to be achieved.  

20. Convert Greetings Little One into a book.

No progress.  

PROJECTION: I need a reliable service or a dependable human being who is willing to do this work. Absent one of these two things, the goal will be missed again.  

21. Record one thing learned every week in 2018.

Done! My favorite from June:

The Spanish village of Castrillo de Murcia hosts a baby jumping festival every year in June. 

Insanity. 

During the festival, red and yellow-masked “devils” run through the streets hurling insults at villagers and whipping them with a horsetail attached to a stick. When drums announce the arrival of the black-clad atabalero, pious men who who have come to drive out evil, el salto del Colacho—the flight of the devil—begins.In a heart-stopping display, babies born during the previous year are laid on mattresses in the street while the costumed men leap over them.

PROJECTION: It's highly likely that I will achieve this goal.      

STORYTELLING

22. Produce a total of 12 Speak Up storytelling events.

Two shows produced in June: A show at the Connecticut Historical Society and my book launch at Real Art Ways.

PROJECTION: Our total number of shows stands at 6. It looks like we will produce exactly a dozen this year, though we may have some new opportunities in the New Haven area that could push that total higher. 

23. Deliver a TEDx Talk.

Done! I spoke at a TEDxNatick salon event in May. I've also applied for two more TEDx conferences and await word. 

PROJECTION: Goal achieved. 

24. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

No Moth events in June. Only three so far in 2018. 

On the bright side, I've won all three. 

PROJECTION: Attending 12 Moth events in the second half of the year is doable but will be admittedly challenging given all the press for my new book. Outlook doubtful. 

25. Win at least three Moth StorySLAMs.

I won my 35th StorySLAM in NYC in February. I have not competed in a StorySLAM since.

PROJECTION: One down. Two to go. The chances of achieving this goal are still high. 

26. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.

Done twice over! I won my fifth GrandSLAM in February and my sixth GrandSLAM in April.

PROJECTION: Goal achieved. 

27. Produce at least 25 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. 

Episodes #1-6 are now now available wherever you get podcasts, and episode #7 drops tomorrow. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and please leave us a rating on Apple Podcasts. C'mon, people.  

PROJECTION: If we don't skip more than five weeks for the rest of 2018, this goal will be achieved. Highly likely that we will succeed.

28. Perform stand up at least four times in 2018. 

No progress in June.

PROJECTION: I performed in at an open-mic night at a local comedy club and was also paid to headline a show in May (my first paid comedy gig!), bringing my total number of stand up performances in 2018 to three. Just one more to achieve the goal. It is very likely that I will achieve this goal.  

29. Pitch my one-person show to at least one professional theater.

Done! My one-person show has been pitched and been accepted by the Speak Up, Rise Up Storytelling Festival. I'll be performing on Tuesday, August 7 at 9:30pm on their Main Stage.

You should come!

PROJECTION: Highly likely that this goal will be achieved.

30. Pitch a new Moth Mainstage story to the artistic director of The Moth. 

No progress.

PROJECTION: Pitching a story simply requires the time to prepare a pitch. This is very doable and will likely be achieved. 

NEW PROJECTS

31. Write a syllabus for a college course on teaching. 

No progress.

PROJECTION: This is not a difficult task, so as long as I find the time, it's likely that this goal will be achieved. 

32. Cook at least 12 good meals (averaging one per month) in 2018.

No progress. 

PROJECTION: I've failed to achieve this goal for three straight years, and it's looking like a fourth failure is likely. 

33. Plan a 25 year reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.

No progress. 

PROJECTION: I've failed to achieve this goal for three straight years, but I'd really like to make this happen if at all possible. Outlook, however, is doubtful.

MISCELLANEOUS

34. Pay allowance weekly.

Done! 

PROJECTION: It's highly likely that I will complete this goal. 

35. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in 2018.

We purchased a new bike for Clara, and this weekend, we picked it up and finally climbed aboard. One ride down, 24 to go.

PROJECTION: It shouldn't be hard to achieve this goal if my kids are willing. 

36. I will report on the content of speech during every locker room experience via social media in 2018. 

Done. I spent 27 days at a gym (including the locker room) in June, and I did not hear a single comment related to sexually assaulting women.  

PROJECTION: Easily achieved. 

37. I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children (except in service of a story while appearance is relevant), in 2018 in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. 

I did not speak of physical appearance with the exception of my wife and kids in June. 

PROJECTION: I slipped once this year, but it was in service of a story, which I have added as an exception to the rule. This goal will be easily achieved. 

38. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2018.

I surprised Elysha once in June. 

PROJECTION: Five down. One to go. It's highly likely that I will achieve this goal.

39. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.

I've received some more reasonable estimates for this project. It might actually be doable.

PROJECTION: Despite the doable nature of this project, the likelihood of completion is doubtful. Uncertain if Elysha will have a job in September, I cannot spend money on discretionary projects until she is finally back to work.     

40. Clean the basement. 

I've reached the halfway point in cleaning. It's looking good. 

PROJECTION: A few more hours spent cleaning and it will be done. Likelihood of achievement is high. 

41. Set a new personal best in golf.

I played several rounds of golf in June. None of my rounds have come close to eclipsing my personal best, though changes in my swing and several sessions at the driving range are showing dramatic improvement. There is hope.

PROJECTION: Though hope is a wonderful thing, it is doubtful that I will eclipse my personal best this year. 

42. Play poker at least six times in 2018.

No poker in June. Still one down. Five to go. 

PROJECTION: This should not be so hard given that I love poker and I know a lot of guys who love poker. Achievement of this goal is likely. 

43. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.

A spent an evening working as a DJ with Bengi in June, and we made tentative plans to spend more time together this summer in addition to our upcoming weddings.

PROJECTION: This goal is likely to be achieved. 

44. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

PROJECTION: Highly likely.