Wes Anderson loves yellow, orange and brown. I do not.

I am not a fan of Wes Anderson’s films.

I suspect that it’s because I’m an auditory learner who remembers almost everything he hears but almost nothing he sees.

My wife says that if she were placed in a lineup with other brunettes, I might have a difficult time picking her out. Not true, but she illustrates the point well. Oftentimes, I can’t tell you what clothing I am wearing unless I look down.

My visual receptive skills are lacking, and Anderson’s films are visual masterpieces. Though I know this empirically, his skill and expertise are often lost on me.

Either that or I am not a fan or yellow, orange and brown, which are essentially the only colors that Anderson uses in his films.

If you think I’m exaggerating, watch this video on the themes in Anderson’s films. It’s actually quite interesting, but it fails to note his obsessive use of these three colors, which are on full display in the video itself.

My wife is right. A pantone chip would’ve been a better mascot for the Cleveland Browns.

The Patriots play the Cleveland Browns today.

I mentioned this to my wife last night. She said, “The Browns? I’ve never heard of them. What a stupid name.”

I was surprised that she’d never heard of the Browns. She’s not a huge football fan, but she tends to know as much as the casual fan. Then again, the Browns haven’t won a meaningful game in decades, so they aren’t mentioned very often in casual circles.

Addressing the team’s name, I said, “Actually, the team is named after their first head coach, Paul Brown. And their greatest player of all time happens to be Jim Brown.”

“So what’s their mascot?” she asked. “A pantone chip?”

I’d never thought about it before, but she’s right. It’s a fairly stupid name for a football team. And it’s actually the team’s second choice of name. They were originally named The Cleveland Panthers, but another team in another football league claimed the rights to the name first, forcing the owners to choose a new name.

And Elysha is right. They chose poorly.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand the greatness of their first head coach, Paul Brown, and the honor that the team’s name bestows upon him, but in the end, the team is named after a color. And an unpopular color, too. No one’s favorite color is brown. It’s the color that’s least often used in a box of crayons.

It’s the color of dirt.

Even worse, the Brown’s uniforms are more orange than brown.

As if to emphasize the stupidity of the name, it turns out that the Cleveland Brown’s on-again, off-again mascot is The Brownie Elf.

Brownies are elves from British folklore that are said to inhabit houses and aid in chores. They don’t like to be seen and will only work at night, traditionally in exchange for small gifts of food. Among food, they especially enjoy porridge and honey.

No wonder The Cleveland Browns have never made it to the Super Bowl. It turns out that a pantone chip might’ve been a better mascot after all.

Pixar’s bathroom. Eddie Van Halen’s M&Ms. Enough. We got it.

I’ve heard the story of Pixar's bathrooms about a thousand times now. Enough. I get it. People peeing together make for great collaboration and great film.

I’ve also heard the Van Halen brown M&M story a thousand times, too. Brown M&M’s equal contract accountability. I got it.

Last week I heard the M&M story told on a business podcast as if it were something new and enlightening.

I also heard the Pixar bathroom story on a similar podcast and read about it on a science blog. In both cases, the story was told in its entirety.  

I’d like to officially propose a five year moratorium on both these stories.

I don’t want to read about them in any social science, business or behavioral economics books. I don’t want to find them in any journal articles or magazine pieces or science blogs. I don’t want to hear them discussed on television or on a podcast.

Can we all agree that everyone has either heard these two stories by now or don’t read or watch or listen to the kind of material that would ever expose them to these two stories?

Find some new stories. Please?