No one is talking about the real problem with John McCain playing poker during his briefing on the possible use of force in Syria.

Senator John McCain was caught playing poker on his IPhone during a U.S. Senate Committee on Foreign Relations hearing where Secretary of State John Kerry, Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel, and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Martin Dempsey testified concerning the use of force in Syria.

There was a small uproar over the idea that one of our lawmakers was playing a game while discussing our potential involvement in Syria, and rightfully so.

McCain attempted to excuse his behavior by attributing it to the length of the meeting, which was reportedly three hours long. Obviously, this is shameful, particularly in light of the topic being discussed.

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But here is the real problem with McCain’s decision to play this game (and I’m completely serious):

Playing online poker for real money was banned in the United States in 2011. This means that McCain was playing poker with pretend money, and there is nothing more inane and ridiculous as playing poker without any real stakes.

Without actual money involved, the game ceases to be poker. Instead, it’s a game of “Look what I found!” You’re dealt some cards, and when they make a full house or a flush, you push all your pretend chips to the middle in hopes of winning. The game does not require any of the mental faculties that the real game demands.

And if you don’t get the full house or the flush, you probably push your chips to the middle anyway, since it’s not real and you can start over at any time.

It’s a stupid game. It’s so stupid. It’s so incredibly, awfully, frighteningly stupid. It’s the adult version of War, except it’s only suitable for brainless adults. I can’t imagine a bigger waste of time. I can’t imagine a more ridiculous game. Go Fish requires more strategy than pretend poker. Candy Land offers higher stakes than pretend poker.  Twiddling your thumbs demands more skill than pretend poker.

I know that John McCain is a skilled and thoughtful man, but I have a hard time respecting the intelligence or wisdom of anyone who is willing to invest even a second in a game that makes so little sense.

The iPhone needs a better name

The device in my pocket is called an iPhone, but I’m starting to believe that this is the worst name possible for it.

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At one time, the primary function of a mobile telephone was to serve as a telephone, but for me (and possibly the majority of Americans), the telephonic component of this device has become one of the least important parts of my iPhone.

The number of applications that I utilize on my iPhone more often than the actual phone include (in approximate order to frequency):

  • Texting
  • Instacast (downloading and listening to podcasts)
  • Email
  • Hootsuite (Twitter client)
  • Camera
  • Evernote
  • Calendar
  • Music (audiobooks and music)
  • Mint
  • Clock
  • Chrome
  • Maps
  • ESPN Sportcenter
  • Weather Bug
  • Ziplist

This makes the telephone the 16th most frequently used application on my phone, falling well behind applications like my grocery list and the clock I use to tell time.

It’s also by far my least favorite use of the device.

iPhone hardly seems like the appropriate name anymore.

Anyone want to propose a better name?

2012: Products I can’t live without

Back in 2010, inspired by lists created by tech geeks like Michael Arrington and Kevin Rose, I created a list of products I could not live without.

Today I present my updated list of products I could not live without.

  • Gmail
  • Google Docs
  • Google Calendar
  • Google Chrome
  • Mint (financial accounting software for the computer and mobile device)
  • iPhone 4
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • Carbonite (automatic, instant online backup)
  • ZipList (a syncing mobile grocery list that we use for shopping)
  • Evernote (note-taking program for the computer and mobile device)
  • Dropbox (file syncing across my computer, mobile device and the cloud)
  • Asus laptop
  • Snapfish wireless headphones
  • WordPress (my website and blogging software)
  • Instapaper (saves webpages for later reading on computer and mobile device)

Some interesting comparisons between the 2010 and 2012 lists:

My 2010 list contained 14 items. This year’s list contains 16 items.

There are 7 items on the 2010 list that appear on this list as well, including the all the Google products, Mint, the iPhone (though the version has changed), and Carbonite.

ZipList has replaced Grocery IQ for my shopping list because it can sync between multiple mobile devices.

Twitter has replaced Facebook in terms of my indispensible social media tool. The amount of time I spend on Facebook is marginal. 

The mobile version of Chrome has replaced Opera Mini. It syncs open tabs between platforms and is just as fast as Opera.

Evernote replaced the pre-loaded note-taking program on the iPhone, which was so useless that it did not make my 2010 list even though I was using it on a daily basis.

WordPress replaced Typepad, which was another product so disappointing that even though I used it almost every day, it did not qualify as a product I could not live without in 2010.

YouTube has gained even greater importance in my life now that it is the primary means by which I can get her dressed in the morning and ready for bed at night without protest. A ten-minute episode of Charlie and Lola or Winnie the Pooh is just what I need to start and end my day without a fight.