Call it a lie when it's a lie.

In a Wall Street Journal interview this week, Trump claimed that the head of the Boy Scouts called him to heap praise on the politically aggressive speech Trump delivered at the Scouts’ national jamboree last week.

“I got a call from the head of the Boy Scouts saying it was the greatest speech that was ever made to them,” Trump said.

At that point, all but the blindest of Trump supporters already knew he was lying. 

The Boy Scouts confirmed these suspicions. “We are unaware of any such call,” the Boy Scouts responded in a statement. They went on to specify that neither Boy Scout President Randall Stephenson nor Chief Scout Executive Mike Surbaugh placed such a call.

Faced with this unequivocal denial, White House spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders confirmed that no phone call had taken place but said “multiple members of the Boy Scout leadership” approached Trump in person after the speech and “offered quite powerful compliments.”

Sanders explained the discrepancy Wednesday by saying Trump misspoke when he described the conversations as calls.

“The conversations took place,” she said. “They just simply didn’t take place over a phone call.”

In other words, he lied the first time. And he probably lied about the "quite powerful compliments" about "the greatest speech ever," too, considering the Boy Scouts apologized for subjecting the boys to his bizarre tirade. 

No, he definitely lied about that, too. He lies. He lies and lies and lies.

Even worse, his lies are so sad. He's lying about nonexistent compliments. He's lying in the hopes that people will like him more. He's lying because there is obviously something broken or missing inside of him that requires him to invent these self-serving statements. 

He did the same thing later that day when he claimed to have received a call from Mexican President Peña Nieto.

"Even the president of Mexico called me. Their southern border, they said very few people are coming because they know they're not going to get to our border, which is the ultimate compliment."

Sanders was later forced to admit that the call didn't happen. Her explanation:

Trump was actually referring to an in-person chat with the Mexican president last month at the Group 20 Summit in Hamburg even though Trump implied that the phone just happened.

So he lied. Again. Attempting to praise himself in the process.   

We should not be surprised. 

As you probably remember, in the 1990's, Trump would frequently pose as fictional publicist  "John Miller" or "John Barron" in order to say flattering things about himself. 

More than 25 years later, Trump would name his son Barron. Apparently his fondness for the name did not wane. 

Trump publicly acknowledged and apologized for these lies back then but denies it today.   

Another lie. 

Here's what I'd like:

I want the media to stop using phrases like "misleading statements" or "false statements" or "corrected statements. I just want them to say,

"Trump lied. The Boy Scouts never called."
"Trump lied. The Mexican government never called."
"Trump lied. He admitted to masquerading as a publicist in the 1990's and now denies it."

I want them to use the word "lie" when appropriate. 

Afraid of identity theft? Here's a simple solution: Lie

I was standing in a hallway, waiting in line for my flu shot, when a colleague walked by.

"Are you getting a flu shot?" I asked her.

"I'd like to," she said. "But I hate giving out my social security number and birth date and address and all that. It makes me nervous."

I laughed - not because she was nervous of identity theft - but because of how simple a solution there was to her problem.

"Why not just lie?" I asked. "Give a fake social security number. A fake address. Give a fake name if you want. Do you really think anyone is going to verify your information after you've received your flu shot? And even if they do, how would they ever trace it back to you? And even if they did, what would happen? Would they take the flu shot back? Have you arrested? Execute you?"

"Really?" she said. "Just give a fake number?"

I explained that for more almost two decades, whenever I am required to complete a time sheet for work above and beyond my salaried hours, I have always filled in the line for "Position" with the word "upright" rather than "teacher."

Dozens upon dozens of time sheets, all completed the same way over the course of almost 20 years, and never a word from anyone.   

"Unless I'm dealing with the IRS or my insurance company, I almost never give out my real social security number," I explained. "When I rent a cart for golf and am required to sign a waiver, I always sign my friend's name and provide his phone number. Other than my wife, it's the only other phone number I know by heart."

"Really?" she asked. 

I explained that the bureaucrats of the world are obsessed with gathering data but oftentimes have little interest in determining if the data is accurate. It's just boxes in need of checking and nothing more. 

I could tell that she liked the idea, but I could also see that this was something new to her. There was a moral hazard at play.

Teachers are often rules followers. A vast majority of them - at least at the elementary level - are formerly well behaved, hard working students who wanted to please their teachers. They became teachers because they loved their teachers and loved school. The idea of falsifying information on an official document is something that most teachers wouldn't even consider, despite legitimate concerns over identity theft and database security. 

In the end, she decided not to take my advice. She skipped the flu shot and went on her way, unprotected from the oncoming flu season. 

It was a victory for the flu virus, which managed to preserve another vector for distribution thanks to the fear of identity theft and an unwillingness to falsify documents and deceive medical personnel.

It must be a difficult life when you can't freely lie to authorities and amuse yourself by completing paperwork in ridiculous ways.