Don't speak to old people like they're children or houseplants, damn it.

I love Flossie Dickey.

I'm sure she wasn't trying to be obstreperous in this interview, but I'm glad she was. The reporter speaks to her like she's a child, and then she and the director speak about her as if she's a houseplant. It's condescending, insulting, and stupid.

I only wish Flossie Dickey would've punched each one of them in the nose.

The Joyful and Effective Use of Condoms in the Latter Years of Life: My latest workshop

I’m hired from time to time to deliver talks and teach workshops on a  variety of topics. I’ve delivered inspirational speeches. Commencement addresses. I’ve hosted conferences and story slams. I’ve taught workshops on storytelling, teaching, writing, personal productivity, and more. And while I’m hardly an expert on anything in particular, I’ve always felt that if given the time, I can be effective on almost any topic. 

The toughest talk I ever delivered was the inspirational address at the end of a policy conference on human trafficking.

It turned out well, but I was not without some trepidation. 

Last night, I dreamt that I had arrived at a weekend retreat, thinking that I would be speaking about the effective use of storytelling in the classroom.

Instead, I discovered that I had been mistakenly assigned a six hour workshop entitled:

‘The Joyful and Effective Use of Condoms in the Latter Years of Life”

Rather than panicking or attempting to correct the mistake, I spent the rest of the dream planning my presentation, finding ways to fill all six hours of the scheduled workshop with informative, entertaining, and persuasive material about condom use in the latter years.  

And by the end of the dream, it was done. Ready to go. And it was good.

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I’m a little disappointed that I won’t ever be able to put my plan into action.

Unless, of course, you are a conference organizer and think ‘The Joyful and Effective Use of Condoms in the Latter Years of Life” would be a compelling offering.

If that’s the case, call me. I’m ready to go.