Unfair assumption #19: The desire for a specific postage stamp is a clear indication of the need for a life.

People who request specific stamps from post office tellers for reasons other than wedding invitations and the like (and even that is a little ridiculous) have far too much time on their hands and need to immediately begin volunteering in a homeless shelter.

Honestly, I don’t know how postal tellers don’t mock these people and their inane desire to affix just the right flag stamp or floral stamp or bird stamp on their overly-valued thank you notes or undervalued water bills.

These are the kind of people who also spend insane amounts of time in the grocery store choosing the specific geometric patterns on their paper plates and napkins and begin shopping for Christmas decorations in August.