24 thoughts from my weekend at Booktopia

image

Elysha and I spent the weekend in Vermont at Booktopia, a weekend retreat for listeners of Books on the Nightstand that brings readers and authors together in a unique experience.

It’s our favorite weekend of the year.

Here are some thoughts from the weekend.

1. It is impossible to predict where the idea for an author’s novel first originated. Don’t even try.

2. Writers of historical fiction are well aware (who knew?) that they can just write straight fiction and avoid all that annoying, time consuming research, yet they choose to do otherwise. I admire and respect them, but I still don’t get it.

3. Women swoon at the sound of a good accent. I wish I had a good accent.

4. I do not have a good accent. Even when I had a Boston accent, I did not have a good accent.

5. Even though I was recently told that my voice is “sensuous and sultry,” this is clearly not true. Even if it was true, it doesn’t matter if your wife doesn’t think so.

6. Any compliment that I receive in life is predicated on my wife’s agreement. If she thinks it’s bunk, it’s bunk. 

7. I am not the only person to despise Ethan Frome. Not by a longshot.

8. There once were thousands (not an exaggeration) of readers, scattered around the globe (not an exaggeration), unaware of one another. Then one day two people decided to make something that did not previously exist, and in that act of creation, thousands of lifelong friendships were born. Quiet, introverted, oftentimes solitary people found other quiet, introverted, solitary people, and suddenly they were no longer alone in their love of books. Authors met readers from around the world and established lifelong friendships that had nothing to do with their writing and everything to do with their mutual love of reading. Proof positive that world can change with a simple, audacious act of creation.

9. Sadly, the people who engage in these acts of audacious creation that change the world are the ones who are most likely to dismiss their achievement or criticize their results. Heroes rarely celebrate. They never celebrate themselves (except for Walt Whitman). That is why they are heroes.

10. It’s often the tiny, forgotten moments, noticed by those special people with clear eyes and lasting memories, that can mean the most when retold.

11. Social media allows strangers to get to know you in real, meaningful ways that you can’t begin to understand until you see these people face-to-face. It is endearing and saves a lot of time, but it can be occasionally creepy, too.  

12. If your social media photo does not actually resemble you in real life, it’s not my fault if I fail to recognize you.

13. Readers make the fastest of friends. If you want more friends, read more. 

14. Authors are quick to befriend other authors, regardless of age, sex, geography or genre. We crave the companionship of fellow writers because we spend so much time in the company of a bunch of uncooperative characters and no one else. 

15. As much as someone may love my writing, they will probably love my wife and children more. I am almost okay with this.

16. Not really.

17. Authenticity is the key to an author talk.

18. The Brits have great words like daft, nicked and knackered that I wish I could use on a regular basis without my wife thinking that I’m an idiot.

19. I am incapable of the levels of genuine forgiveness that so many memoirists seem to possess. I may lack maturity. Or I may have simply encountered more despicable people in my life than most.

20. I am capable of being incredibly sad about the loss of my mother and indescribably joyous over the mother that my children have in the exact same moment. That is far too many feelings for me for one moment.

21. You should never do a Google image search on “chastity belts” or “naked yoga” while in a restaurant. Probably not ever.

22. It’s in the company of friends that I’m often reminded that I’m most proud of the relationship I have with my wife. Sometimes I forget and begin to believe that I take the greatest pride in my books or my storytelling or my teaching or even my kids. Those are all great and I am proud of them all, but my marriage tops the list.

23. Of all the miraculous and beautiful sentences that I have heard authors read this weekend, my favorite sentence came from my mother-in-law, who is taking care of our children while we are away. She hasn’t spent much time alone with our 22 month-old son yet, and not knowing what to expect, was admittedly trepidatious about a weekend with him. On Saturday afternoon, she texted me: “Charlie is crawling his way into my heart.” Favorite sentence of the weekend.

24. I hate saying goodbye. I much prefer the Irish goodbye. My wife prefers the “spend more time saying goodbye than we actually spent together this weekend” goodbye. 

Suspiciously perfect start to the day

My son refused to allow me to pluck him from the crib this morning until I handed him a book and allowed him to read it first.

He’s a little less than two years-old, and yet I still felt like he had done something terribly wrong and was attempting to score points with me before I found out.

Is it wrong for me to suspect that  my 22 month-old son already possesses  Machiavellian intentions? 

image image image image

I’ve always thought that a library fine was a good thing. Unexpected income. Some librarians have disagreed. Am I wrong?

From a piece in the Hartford Courant entitled Wethersfield Library Begins ‘Food For Fines’ Program:

For a limited time, Wethersfield Library patrons can pay their overdue fines with a can of beans or a jar of spaghetti sauce.

The library's Food for Fines program, which began Monday and lasts through the end of August, donates the items to the town's food bank, Library Director Laurel Goodgion said. The library runs the program every year, she said.

"People like doing it," Goodgion said. "It gives them a way to feel good paying off their fines."

I have always been a person who doesn’t mind paying fines for overdue books. I’ve always considered it my way of supporting the library. And because I’m never borrowing a new release, the books that I borrow are presumably not in demand. No one else is waiting for them when I am finished reading. I’ve never been accused of making another patron wait for a book.

In my mind, my fines have always been favors for the library.

Unexpected income.

Some librarians have disagreed.

image

While I admire and respect librarians a great deal, I have run into one or two in my time who become genuinely angry when I return an overdue book. It typically occurs when the librarian attempts to scold me for my tardiness, and I respond with a smile and a comment over how happy I am to pay the fine.

One time the discussion became so heated that I stormed out of the library and charged into the restroom in the outer hallway, only to find myself standing over a half-naked woman sitting on the toilet.

Her fault for failing to lock the door on the single occupancy restroom, but had I not been so angry, I may have offered a courtesy knock before entering.

While I understand that one of a librarian’s duties is to safeguard books and other media on behalf of the general public, I have never understood the emotional response that has occasionally greeted me.

The system of overdue fines serves a purpose. If I am late in returning a book, the library (and thereby the general public) is compensated for my lateness.

And it’s not as if I’m paying a fine for speeding or failing to stop at a crosswalk, which endangers the lives of others. It’s a fine for a book that I kept for three extra days.

Can’t we be a little happy that the book is being returned along with some unexpected cash?

I’d even be happy to pay more. Increase the fines if necessary. I’m more than happy to contribute to the library. Perhaps the increased fine would increase my chances of returning the book on time. At the very least, it may give librarians a reason to smile while collecting the fine, knowing the money will support the institution that they and I love.

Am I wrong about this?

Pressure is a privilege

Author Susan Schoenberger posted this quote to her Twitter feed:

"Pressure is a privilege." - Billie Jean King as heard on Fresh Air.

I love this idea. It’s so true.

Many of the things that I choose to do involve pressure.

I stand before 21 students every day, knowing full well that I am responsible for their academic success, and that a portion of their future professional success is in my hands.

I do not take this responsibility lightly. I worry about my students a lot.

I write novels. I choose every word. I create every character, every setting and every scenario. Then I send my story into the world for public consumption and comment.

The success of the book is based almost entirely on my ability to create a story that readers love. The viability of my writing career hinges on the success of each book.

image

I am a storyteller. I stand before as many of 1,500 people at a time and share a true story from my life in hopes that they will be entertained and moved.

If I am competing in a StorySLAM, my story will immediately be followed with a numerical assignation of my performance by teams of complete strangers.

image

I am a wedding DJ. I am the person most responsible for the most important day in the lives of the couple who have hired me. Along with my partner, we coordinate every minute of the wedding. I feel more pressure on a person’s wedding day than any other day of the year. I understand how important this day is to them.

image

There are days when I yearn for a less pressure-filled life. I recently saw a parking garage attendant sitting in a booth, reading a book, listening to  music. While I understand that the person in that booth doesn’t earn as much as someone in my position, I found myself envious of him just the same. He was getting paid to perform a simple, stress-free job that allowed him to read a book and relax while on the job.

There are days when that sounds damn fine.

But Billie Jean King was right. Pressure is a privilege. It leads to a full, rewarding, memorable and meaningful life.

I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Most of the time.

I had problems with the ending of The Lord of the Rings, but it had little to do with Frodo and Sam’s fate.

Quora recently asked the question:

Would the Lord of the Rings have been more satisfying with a different ending. Specifically, what if the eagles hadn't rescued Frodo and Samwise from Orodruin after the destruction of the One Ring?

In other words, should Frodo and Samwise died after destroying the ring. 

J.R.R. Tolkien was a firm believer in "eucatastrophe," or the sudden, unbelievable, positive turn of events, and the appearance of the eagles was certainly that. The debate is interesting and worth reading, but I have always disliked the appearance of the eagles at the end of the book for one simple reason:

If the eagles were able to rescue Frodo and Samwise from the Orodruin, why couldn’t they have simply brought the hobbits to the mountain in the first place? Why risk so much (including the loss of the ring) on a dangerous and seemingly impossible quest when an eagle could have simply flown Frodo over the mountain and allowed him to drop the ring therein?

It’s always bothered me.

image

It’s bothered others as well. Perhaps Tolkien himself. He later said of the books:

"The most critical reader of all, myself, now finds many defects, minor and major, but being unfortunately under no obligation either to review the book or to write it again, he will pass over these in silence, except one that has been noted by others: the book is too short."

I’m not sure how I feel about the fates of Frodo and Samwise. I’m happy that the hobbits lived, but I can certainly see the literary merit in the death of Frodo and Samwise.

But the sudden appearance of those eagles made all of the struggles of the three books seem a little silly in light of the overwhelming air superiority that the forces of the white seemed to possess in Middle Earth.

Good news! America’s second favorite book is an actual book.

More good news about the publishing industry.

In 1900, America’s second favorite book (after the Bible) was the Sears Roebuck Catalogue.

image

In the most recent Pew poll, America’s second favorite book (still trailing The Bible) was Gone with the Wind, followed by the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Harry Potter Series and Stephen King’s The Stand.

Note the absence of catalogs in the list

Every time I hear someone proclaim the death of the book, I will remind them that in 1900, America’s second favorite book was a catalog. For all the problems that the publishing industry has, at least our readers are naming actual books in these most recent polls.

We’ve come a long way since 1900.  

An unexpected silver lining (including butts with wings) in this brave new publishing world

In the last five days, I have:

  • Corresponded with my French translator about the French edition of my book and future books.
  • Responded to questions from readers in Mexico, Thailand, Argentina, Germany and Turkey, as well as four states within the United States.
  • Assisted in the publicity of my book in Italy and France by creating material for their online portals.
  • Contributed a Q&A to a book blogger in Michigan.
  • Received an email from a reader who explained how a single sentence in Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend has changed her relationship with her daughter for the better.

Yes, it’s true that there are fewer bookstores today. Less shelf space for books. And yes, advances are shrinking. Competition for readers’ attention is increasing exponentially. More books are being published today than ever before.

It’s becoming more and more difficult to sell a book. 

Every six months or so, I read another piece asking if the novel (or even the book itself) is dead.

None of this is good. It is extremely difficult to make a living as an author today. A 2014 Digital Book World and Writer's Digest Author Survey  revealed that 54% of traditionally-published authors earn less than $1,000 per year.

A quote from Dorothy Parker gained from traction on social media last week that captures the challenges of earning a living as an author well:

image

I have been exceptionally fortunate. I have published three novels in 6 years and my fourth book should hit bookshelves later this year. My most recent novel, Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend, has been published in 24 countries worldwide, and all three of my books have been purchased by international publishers. 

Despite my good fortune, I would not be able to survive without the salary that I earn as an elementary school teacher. Though I love my job as a teacher and couldn’t imagine giving it up, there may come a time when I would like to devote all of my energies to my writing, but I don’t know if that will ever be possible.

And once again, I have been exceptionally fortunate.

But if I’m searching for a silver lining, it can be found in these last five days.

Never before have authors been able to reach readers as easily as we can today. The Internet has brought me just as close to my readers in Thailand as I am to readers one state away.

Thanks so the ease of online translation, I am able to communicate with these readers, even when we speak different languages. Yes, the sentences can be a little janky at times, but we are able to communicate without the assistance of a paid translator.

This evening I will be visiting with a book club in Ohio via Skype. About a dozen women will jam themselves into a living room and ask me questions about my work and my life while I am sitting at my dining room table in my pajamas.

Last month I visited with a book club in Riyadh via Skype. I pulled my car over to the side of the road, opened Skype on my phone and chatted with half a dozen women on the other side of the world about literature and writing.

Last year I participated in a literary festival in Italy by delivering a talk on a large screen via Skype to an audience of more than 200 people.

Other than a honeymoon in Bermuda, I have never left the United States, but I have spoken to readers in more than 30 countries in the last two years.

There’s more.

I am able to take the stage in New York or Boston, tell a story to an audience of 300-1,000 people and then post a video of that story onto my YouTube channel for my readers around the world to see. This month students at a college in Niskayuna, New York will be watching these stories on YouTube as part of a lesson on “distinguishing between experience from what we take-away from that experience.”

Perhaps a few of them will buy a book.

These are difficult times for authors who want to make a living by writing. They are even more difficult for authors with families to support. Unless you have written a bestseller (and maybe two) or sold your novel to Hollywood, it is likely that you are going to need a “real job” or a supportive spouse in order to spend your days writing.

But the challenges that the Internet and the digital world have brought to the publishing industry have also brought new and exciting opportunities. The ability to visit with a book club in South Africa or exchange emails with a class of students in Denmark will never make up for the disappearance of book stores, the shrinking of book shelves and the reduction in advances and loss of royalties for authors.

But on those days when the writing is hard and the editing is harder, and I and begin to wonder if I will ever be able to make a living writing books, an email or message through social media always seems to arrive at just the right moment, from some obscure corner of the world, thanking me writing a book, or telling me how my words have changed a life, or asking me to discuss the epilogue of my latest novel or inquiring frantically about my next book.

These messages do not pay the bills. They do not allow me to remain at home every day, toiling over sentences and filling plot holes. But they lift my spirits. They energize me. They remind me of why I started writing in the first place. They remind me of why I continue to write and would do so even if no one was paying me a dime. 

Sometimes it’s as simple as a tweet like this that sends me back to the laptop with excitement and hope:

@ibieberavons I miss my book "The memoirs of an imaginary friend" ....whoever who stole it ... i pray that your butt grow wings -_-  

My very first library book found!

In March of 2012 I wrote a post about the important role that my  hometown library played for me when I was a child. As a person who grew up with very few books in the home and no age-appropriate books, the library was a sanctuary for me.

In the post, I also wrote about the very first library book that I ever borrowed:

I still remember the first book that I checked out of the library, but I cannot remember the title, and for years, I have been trying to find it. It was a dystopian science fiction story in which the tallest buildings in the world begin to liquefy, starting with the Sears Tower in Chicago, the tallest building at the time. The very tip of the building first begins to liquefy, and as the height of Sears Tower comes even with the second tallest building in the world, that building begins to liquefy as well.

Eventually all the buildings of the word begin to liquefy at exactly the same rate, throwing the planet into terror and chaos.

Ultimately, it is discovered that this is the work of an alien race that feels obliged to ensure that mankind does not advance technologically beyond a point that is considered safe. By keeping building no taller than six stories, the aliens believe that the technological advancement of the human race will be curtailed. Ultimately, every building of the world is liquefied to this point.

I asked readers if they knew the title of the book, and several (including a number of librarians) took guesses at the title and sent me to websites designed  specifically for the purpose of locating books like this, but after hours of searching online, I had no luck.

The book was probably out of print and more than likely ceased to exist.

More than a year after writing the post, after I had all but given up the search (and forgotten about it entirely), a reader named Jim Uren posted a suggestion in the comment section:

Any chance the book was “The Skyscraper Doom?”

The name sounded familiar, but I told myself not to get excited. It was likely another wild goose chase. I went to Google, typed “Skyscraper of Doom” into the search box and this was the first image that I saw:

image 

I had found the book. I couldn’t believe it.

The book was out of print, so it wasn’t easy to to obtain a copy, but today, Skyscraper of Doom, the first book that I ever borrowed from a public library, is sitting on my dining room table, waiting to be read.

image

Will this book prove to be as captivating as it was circa 1981?

Probably not.

I’ve read thousands of books since then, so my standards of excellence have been raised considerably.

But that doesn’t matter. When I started borrowing books from the library, a brand new world was opened to me. I read this book in just a few days and hundreds soon followed.

Agatha Christie. Stephen King. Douglas Adams. Frank Herbert. Mark Twain. J.R.R. Tolkien. Harper Lee. Orson Scott Card. Madeleine L’Engle. Ray Bradbury. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. William Golding. S.E. Hinton.

I couldn’t get enough of these authors. 

I was suddenly on a path to reading and writing and has led me to where I am today. Without the generosity of the public library, it’ likely that I wouldn’t be an author and might not love reading the way I do. 

I took my first steps on that literary path with a book written by Norman Zierold, a Hollywood biographer with eight books to his credit including a memoir entitled That Reminds Me that published earlier this month.

It turns out that Skyscraper of Doom was his only novel.

Norman Zierold’s only foray into fiction changed a reader forever. 

About to purchase a book from Amazon? Don’t. Do this instead.

I posted something similar to this (but with only 140 characters) on Twitter yesterday after doing almost exactly what I describe here.

I suggest you do the same.

About to purchase a book from Amazon?

Stop.

Do this instead. Sincerely.

Pick up the phone and call a bookstore. It could be a bookstore nearby, but anywhere in the world will do.

image

Introduce yourself to the bookseller who answers the phone. Tell the bookseller that you were about to order a book from Amazon but have reconsidered. Ask for help ordering the book from his or her store instead.

Since you have an actual book expert on the phone, talk about some of your favorite books and ask for a book recommendation as well.

Order that book, too. And maybe another. A birthday is always on the horizon. Take care of the gift right now by ordering a book.

Ask if it would be alright to schedule another phone call with the bookseller in about a month in order to get another recommendation and order more books.

Make a new friend. Seriously. Booksellers are some of the most generous, knowledgeable, helpful and sweet people in the world, and they are just a phone call away.

Ordering from a bookstore keeps these wonderful employed and keeps bookstores around the world open for business.

This is not a silly, pie-in the-sky idea. You may spend ten minutes instead of 30 seconds ordering your book, but it will be ten minutes very well spent.

Every death in A Song of Ice and Fire, displayed in rainbow-like horror

I have yet to begin reading the Game of Thrones series (actually called A Song of Fire and Ice). I’m watching it on HBO, but I’m afraid to begin reading the books. The author, George R.R. Martin, is 65 years old and has written five novels in the series since 1996, with six years elapsing between the last two books. He has two more books to write in order to complete the series, reportedly more than 1,000 pages each, and I refuse to start reading until they are finished.

We nearly lost Stephen King in a car accident before he was able to finish the Dark Tower series (an event that ultimately plays a role in one of the final novels in that series). I can’t imagine how I would’ve felt, never knowing the fate of Roland and his ka-tet. It would’ve been devastating.

Similarly, I can’t afford to invest that much time and energy in series of novels of this size without a guarantee of them ever being finished.

I realize that 65 isn’t as old as it once was, but the guy took six years to write the last book. There’s no telling how long these last two books will take.

I look forward to the day that Martin pens his final novel and I can begin reading. Until then, HBO is doing a fine job.

I wish I could credit the person who took the time to do this, but this photograph was sent to me without credit. It’s a stack of the five books currently written in the Song of Ice and Fire series, with a post-it note marking the death of every character.

The HBO series has already taught me not to get too attached to any character, but this seems a little excessive. 

image

I did not like Doris Lessing’s response to winning the Nobel Prize

I was saddened to hear about the death of Doris Lessing. I read a lot of her work while in college and some of her short stories since then.

I like her work a lot.

That said, I wasn’t a fan of her response to winning to Nobel Prize back in 2007. While nonchalance can be charming and a disinterest in competition can seem noble, this is the Nobel Prize. Out of respect for all those who came before her and all those who toil for a lifetime in hopes of achieving this level of recognition, I thought it was disrespectful to dismiss the news of her win so offhandedly and follow it up by stating that “I’ve won all the prizes in Europe. Every bloody one,” as if none of them matter anymore.

I felt like the reporter understood the importance of this win better than she did.

Also, and perhaps more importantly, what the hell is hanging on the neck of the person who was in the car with her? And what is in his hands?   

It’s okay to make fun of fat people, but only if they are really, really fat.

Sarah Palin stated that although she is against bullying, it's understandable people comment on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's weight because it's "been extreme."

Apparently there a designated threshold on mocking people who are overweight, and Chris Christie exceeds it.

I’m not sure what that threshold is, but thankfully Sarah Palin does. Maybe she’ll share that magic number with us sometime soon.

Palin has a new book out entitled Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas.

image

It’s not often that I advise people to not buy a book, but based upon her comments about Christie’s weight, she may not be qualified (as has been the case with most things that Sarah Palin does) to comment on the spirit of Christmas and the notion of good tidings.

It’s okay to make fun of fat people, but only if they are really, really fat.

Sarah Palin stated that although she is against bullying, it's understandable people comment on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's weight because it's "been extreme."

Apparently there a designated threshold on mocking people who are overweight, and Chris Christie exceeds it.

I’m not sure what that threshold is, but thankfully Sarah Palin does. 

Palin has a new book out entitled Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas.

image

It’s not often that I advise people to not buy a book, but based upon her comments about Christie’s weight, she may not be qualified (as has been the case with most things that Sarah Palin does) to comment on the spirit of Christmas and the notion of good tidings.

My namesake discovered 42 years later

My daughter’s name is Clara Susan.

Her first name comes from the protagonist in The Van Gogh Café by Cynthia Rylant. My wife loves that book, and it’s where she fell in love with the name for the first time. 

Her middle name was my mother’s first name.

image

My son’s name is Charles Wallace.

His name comes from the character by the same name in A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle. We both loved that book as children.

We are also fond of the poet Wallace Stevens, which helped cinch the deal.

image

My name is Matthew John.

Yesterday I learned that I was named after my father’s platoon leader in Vietnam. According to Dad, my namesake was a man “who was fair and honest, and the kind of guy who never tried to pull rank.”

My middle name was chosen because my parents felt that it went nicely with Matthew.

I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to learn this. Up until yesterday, I was under the impression that my name was chosen simply because my parents liked it. I had no idea that I had been named after another person. 

It’s a shame that it took me 42 years to learn this fact.

If you’ve been named for a person or even a fictional character, you should probably be told this much earlier in life. Don’t you think?

As with most things, my family does things a little differently.

The career of an author is not all angst and loneliness. Some of the time.

I am not a starry eyed author. I expect little from my publishing career. When I published my first novel, Something Missing, in 2009, I was not under the illusion that I would be quitting my day job anytime soon. I saw that book as a small, uncertain, precarious step into a new career that came with no guarantees.

image

With each successive book, my attitude has changed very little. My most recent novel, Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend, has sold well and has been translated into more than 20 languages worldwide, and I still view every book as possibly my last.

image

There are no guarantees. If I don’t write an excellent book every time, this career could end tomorrow. 

This pessimistic attitude means that I am rarely disappointed by my writing career and occasionally surprised and elated about truly unexpected surprises that my writing career brings. This week has been just such a week.

On Monday I made arrangements to Skype with a book club in Saudi Arabia about Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend. Saudi Arabia! The fact that people around the globe are reading my stories never fails to excite me. 

On that same day, one of my former students told me that her college roommate was discussing my most recent novel in her English class.

That same night I drove to New York City to compete in a Moth StorySLAM, and I won. My fifth won in  a row! I wouldn’t be nearly the storyteller that I am today without my writing career. 

On Tuesday I scheduled meetings with two local book clubs to talk about my my books and my writing career.

Yesterday I received updates on the film options on two of my novels. While there are absolutely positively no guarantees when it comes to Hollywood and movie deals, the fact that talented people are working hard to adapt and  develop my material is thrilling.

Last night a college student sent me a book trailer for Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend that he created for class.

This has been an unusual week in terms of happy publishing moments. Most of the time, I am sitting at a table, fighting with words, struggling to find a few more minutes in my busy day to write. It’s hard, it’s lonely, it’s frightening and it’s always uncertain.

That said, weeks like this help a lot.

A good old fashioned book mobile!

Look what we found in the midst of a poorly advertised festival in downtown Hartford last weekend:

An actual book mobile!

Operated by Penguin Books, it was a joy to see for both me and my daughter, who immediately picked up a book from the children’s section and asked her mother to read to her.

We need more of this. We need a lot more of this.

image imageimage image image image