Outsourcing my New Year’s resolutions again: Would you like to play a role?

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you probably know that I take my goal setting and New Year’s resolutions very seriously.  Except of course, for the months of October and November of this year, when I completely dropped the ball. No idea why. Just busy, I guess.

At the end of every month I typically post the progress of each of my New Year’s resolutions, and I am tough on myself when I fail to achieve my goals. 

I’d begun the process of deciding upon my 2013 goals when I came upon a piece in the Wall Street Journal on New Year’s resolutions that suggests that outsourcing your resolutions may improve your ability to achieve them.

Most of us could use help achieving our goals. Who better to tell us how to improve ourselves than someone who knows us well—perhaps better than we know ourselves—and even may be all too happy to offer up some tough love? And if we promise to check in regularly with this person to discuss our progress, we’ll probably do a much better job of keeping our resolutions.

"We all have blind spots, but the people we are intimate with can see through them," says David Palmiter, a couples therapist and professor of psychology at Marywood University, in Scranton, Pa. A loved one can encourage us to meet our goals and hold us accountable when we slip, he says.

I’ve always asked a select group of friends to suggest goals for my upcoming year, but after reading this piece, I thought it might be a good idea to open up my goal selection process to anyone who might want to participate. 

So if you’d like to suggest a goal for me in 2013, I would love to hear your ideas. Please note that this does not guarantee that I will adopt every suggested goal, but I will seriously consider all that are submitted. 

Also note that all goals must be empirically measurable, so a goal like “Be less of a jerk-face” could not be included in my list of resolutions because there is no way for me to determine if the goal was met.

But you’re welcome to tell me to stop being a jerk-face at any time if you’d like. Not need to wait until the end of the year to make that request. 

New Year’s resolution failure

A reader was kind enough to point out that I have not posted the progress made on my New Year’s resolutions since October.

While these last two months have been some of the busiest of my life, this is no excuse, especially since the posting of these results is an actual resolution on my list (and should be the easiest to accomplish).

With a little more than a week left in December, I will wait and post my year-end results at the end of the month along with my 2013 goals.

Apologies for my epic failure.

Resolution update: August 2012

In an effort to hold myself accountable to my yearly goals, I post the progress made at the end of each month. 

1. Don’t die.

I nearly ended up in a fist fight with a biker last week outside of Best Buy, but even if I had fought him, I think I would’ve won.

2. Lose ten pounds.

I lost 2 pounds in the month of August. Still 13 pounds from my target weight.   

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a day.  Also complete at least two two-minute planks five days per week.

Done.

4. Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

Flute still broken. Broken flute still in car. I still suck in regards to this goal. 

5. Complete my fifth novel before the birth of my next child.

Still not complete. August admittedly contained extenuating circumstances when it came to completing the book, but that is not excuse. I feel like a failure, though every time I say this, my wife wants to smack me.  

6. Complete my sixth novel.

Though I can’t wait to dig into one of my many new ideas, the possibility of finishing a second novel before the end of the year seems grim.

7. Sell one children’s book to a publisher.

I am still struggling to find a clever end to my first picture book. Once I do, it will be sent to the publisher for review. I will be sharing the book with my students in a week or two. My hope is that they may propose an ending that works. Kids are smart like that. 

8. Complete the book proposal for my non-fiction, photographic  collaborative project.

The novel and the memoir are simply taking precedence at time.

9. Complete three chapters of my memoir.

Parts of three chapters have been written in preparation for stories that I have told at Moth StorySLAMs, but nothing formal or comprehensive has been written yet. The unfinished novel looms large over everything else at this point.  

10. Complete at least twelve blog posts on my brother and sister blog.

No posts in August. We remain stuck on three, and I have yet to get a laptop into my sister’s hands.

11. Become certified to teach high school English by completing two required classes.

My first class begins on Tuesday. I wonder where the hell it is.

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a newspaper.

Like previous months, I published a piece in Beyond the Margins in April, which is not exactly a newspaper but is a great place (and maybe even a better place) for an author to publish.

I now have three pieces in the pipeline (including one I sent to my editor less than five minutes ago) with hopes that at least one will find its way into print soon.

So there’s plenty of potential.

13. Attend at least five Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I competed in my fourth and fifth Moth events in August, finishing an agonizing second in both StorySLAMs, losing by a combined total of three-tenths of a point.

Though my goal of 5 events has been achieved (the first of the year), I have no intention of quitting. I’ll be attending the SstorySLAM on September 24 at The Bitter End in New York City. The theme of the night is Grudge. I had many stories from which to choose.  

If you would like to attend this upcoming StorySLAM with me, please let me know. I’m always looking for company.

14. Complete the necessary revisions of our rock opera (The Clowns) so that it can be staged as a full production in 2013.

Done! Revisions are in the hands of the director. Our production is slated for the first week of January. I will pass on all the details as they become available.     

15. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Incremental progress has been made in July.

16. Give yoga an honest try.

I have a friend with some free classes who has offered to bring me to a lesson. I have yet to take her up on her offer. 

17. Meditate for at least five minutes every day.

I mediated on 18 of the 31 days of August. Extenuating circumstances interfered with several days. In truth, I missed meditating on the days that I was not able to get it done. 

18. Agree to try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn’t normally consider palatable.

Brace yourselves. In August, I tried arugula, a leafy green vegetable, despite my wife’s vehement protestations, and I think I liked it.  

19. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2012.

The race has been cancelled for 2012. My plans for a race in the fall have been derailed by five out-of-state book events, a host of in-state appearances and an unfinished novel that hangs on my neck like an albatross. 

20. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Maybe yoga isn’t such a good idea after all.

One of my New Year’s resolutions is to give yoga an honest try.

After reading Lee Anne Finfinger’s The 10 things you’ll do once you start yoga (that have nothing to do with yoga), I’m not so sure that it’s a good idea anymore.

Here is her list along with some of my reaction.

Should I be worried?

________________________________

1.  At least once, you will force yourself to try to be vegan.

I’d starve to death within a month if I attempted to be vegan. 

2.  Your iPod will now include a heavy serving of Kirtan.

This would be reason enough to never attempt yoga.

3. You will pretend not to notice that your ass now fits in a size 6.

I don’t think this applies to me. Men’s clothing sizes actually match our  actual physical dimensions. In terms of pants, for example, I am a 33-30, meaning my waist is 33 inches and the length of my pants from groin to cuff is 30 inches.

Women use meaningless numbers like 6 or 8. When I have asked the reason behind this indecipherable numbering system, I have been told that the fashion industry uses amorphous numbers like 6 because women vary so much in shape that using actual dimensions would not be useful in determining fit.

This is nonsense, of course, since there was a time when actual measurements were used in women’s fashion. Also, a meaningless number like a 6 is not more helpful in terms of fit than actual physical dimensions.

This piece in Slate explains the history of this absurd system rather well.

Regardless, I doubt that I will have an thoughts in terms of my ass when I begin yoga.

4. You will go back to your natural hair color

Again, this does not apply to me. 

5. You’ll attempt to read The Yoga Sutras, the Bhagavad Gita, or the Upanishads while your stack of fashion magazines calls to you from the next room.

Apparently The Yoga Sutras have nothing to do with sex, and I have no fashion magazines in any room whatsoever, so I don’t see this happening, either.

6. You will take a retreat.

A writer’s retreat? That might be nice, unless it involves picnic baskets and ping pong.

7. You’ll start taking photos of yourself in yoga poses. 

This would presumably require someone to take the photograph, and I don’t see my wife helping me out.

8. You will at some point wear mala beads.

I don’t wear jewelry of any kind.

9. You will become a cheap date.

I already am.

10. You’ll get over yourself

This seems like the least likely outcome of all.

Resolution update: July 2012

In an effort to hold myself accountable to my yearly goals, I post the progress made at the end of each month. 

I’ve now passed the halfway point of the year, and to be completely honest, I am not pleased with my progress thus far. Goals that should have been completed long ago remain unfinished, and as a result, others are beginning to look less and less likely.

I’m not pleased.

1. Don’t die.

No one came even close to killing me last month.

2. Lose ten pounds.

Lost 5 pounds in the month of July. Unfortunately, I had added 10 pounds since January, so I am 15 pounds away from the goal. But at least I’m moving in the right direction now.   

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a day.  Also complete at least two two-minute planks five days per week.

Done.

4. Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

Flute still broken. Broken flute still in car.

5. Complete my fifth novel before the birth of my next child.

Not complete. I’m working hard, though. I promise.  

6. Complete my sixth novel.

Looing forward to returning to my sixth (and seventh) novel after I manage to complete the fifth novel.

7. Sell one children’s book to a publisher.

I am struggling to find a clever end to a picture book. Once I do, it will be sent to the publisher for review. I am tempted to crowd source a clever ending because I’ve been pondering this problem for three weeks without any luck.

8. Complete the book proposal for my non-fiction, photographic  collaborative project.

The novel and the memoir are simply taking precedence at time.

9. Complete three chapters of my memoir.

This project, which will be part of an overall proposal, will be completed this summer after the novel is finished.

10. Complete at least twelve blog posts on my brother and sister blog.

No posts in July. We remain stuck on three, and I have yet to get a laptop into my sister’s hands.

11. Become certified to teach high school English by completing two required classes.

I have located and registered for the first of two classes that I need, and it was the class that was considerably more difficult to find. I begin taking classes in the fall.

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a newspaper.

Same as the previous two months. I published a piece in Beyond the Margins in April, which is not exactly a newspaper but is a great place (and maybe even a better place) for an author to publish.

I still have two pieces currently in the pipeline with hopes of both finding their way into print soon. My editor and I are actually working on one this week. I also wrote a blog post last month that I chose to keep off the blog in hopes of placing it somewhere else as well.

So there’s plenty of potential.

13. Attend at least five Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I competed in my third Moth event, a GrandSLAM championship, on July 17 at the Highline Ballroom in Manhattan. Details about the evening can be found here and here.  

I plan on attending (and hopefully competing if my name is drawn) at two more Moth events this summer. They are:

Tuesday, August 14 (Theme: About Time)

Thursday, August 23 (Theme: Yin/Yang)

If you would like to attend either of these StorySLAMS with me, please let me know. I’m always looking for company.

14. Complete the necessary revisions of our rock opera (The Clowns) so that it can be staged as a full production in 2013.

Revisions are nearly complete. A local playhouse is very excited about producing the show, and the director and I met last week to discuss the revisions that are needed. We will be going to New York next month to cast the show, and we have actual dates for the performances at that I can share soon.   

15. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Incremental progress has been made in July.

16. Give yoga an honest try.

I have a friend with some free classes who has offered to bring me to a lesson. I have yet to take her up on her offer. 

17. Meditate for at least five minutes every day.

I mediated for five minutes a day on everyday in July, and it has become a surprisingly important part of my day. At this point it simply remains a means by which I clear my mind, but if that is all it ends up being, that might be okay.

18. Agree to try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn’t normally consider palatable.

In July I tried bruschetta, which I liked, and quinoa, which was okay.

19. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2012.

The race is planned for the fall. 

20. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: June 2012

1. Don’t die.

Still breathing.

2. Lose ten pounds.

Here’s the good news:

I lost 38 pounds over a period of two years, and I have not put any of that weight back on.

Here’s the bad news:

I have still not lost one additional pound since then. I would like to place the blame on the birth of my son (and the slightly reduced workout schedule), the heel spur that has prevented me from running as often as I would like, the emergence of the golfing season, which provides considerably less exercise than basketball, and the amount of time I have spent on my ass working on my book.

But in the end, excuses suck, as do my results thus far.   

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a day.  Also complete at least two two-minute planks five days per week.

Done. I am also quite relieved that I moved this goal from seven days a week to five days a week in January. The two days off each week helps a lot.   

4. Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

Flute still broken. I’ll drop it off for repairs this week. I promise.

5. Complete my fifth novel before the Ides of March the birth of my next child.

Not complete. I’ve given myself three more weeks, which means writing fulltime, which I should have probably been doing already.

6. Complete my sixth novel.

Looing forward to returning to my sixth (and seventh) novel after I manage to complete this albatross of a fifth novel.

7. Sell one children’s book to a publisher.

I have been contacted by a children’s book editor who read and liked MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND and who may have interest in one or more of the manuscripts. My agent and I have been revising two manuscripts and we should have something to present by month’s end.

8. Complete the book proposal for my non-fiction, photographic  collaborative project.

I will contact the photographer this week.

9. Complete three chapters of my memoir.

This project, which will be part of an overall proposal, will be completed this summer, but only after the albatross is killed.

10. Complete at least twelve blog posts on my brother and sister blog.

Unprompted by me, my sister wrote a piece about the games we played as children, and I must respond this week. Three down. Nine to go.

Kelli continues to write these posts on her phone, since her laptop is no longer functioning. I have an old laptop to give her when she finally makes it over to my house to see the baby.

11. Become certified to teach high school English by completing two required classes.

I need to follow-up with Elysha on this. I suspect that any work that she was doing in this regard came to a halt when Charlie was born. Now that he is a month old, perhaps we can finalize these plans.

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a newspaper.

Same as last month. I published a piece in Beyond the Margins in April, which is not exactly a newspaper but is a great place (and maybe even a better place) for an author to publish.

I still have two pieces currently in the pipeline with hopes of both finding their way into print soon. I also wrote a blog post this month that I chose to keep off the blog in hopes of placing it somewhere else as well.

13. Attend at least five Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

My third Moth appearance will now take place at the GrandSLAM championship on July 17 at the Highline Ballroom in Manhattan. The theme of the night is “Fall from Grace.” If you would like to attend the show, let me know and I can alert you as to when tickets are available.      

I have also planned for my next two Moth events, both taking place over the summer. They are:

Monday, July 30 (Theme: Judgment)

Tuesday, August 14 (Theme: About Time)

If you would like to attend either of these StorySLAMS with me, please let me know. I’m always looking for company.

14. Complete the necessary revisions of our rock opera (The Clowns) so that it can be staged as a full production in 2013.

I have cleared a week in July to complete these revisions with my partner. We should have actual dates for our next production of the show soon.

My partner has also begun writing music for the next rock opera. It appears that he is sucking me in all over again.  

15. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Incremental progress has been made on this front in June.

16. Give yoga an honest try.

I have a friend with some free classes who has offered to bring me to a lesson. Also, a yoga instructor and friend may be conducting some classes in her home this summer. One way or another, this will happen.  

17. Meditate for at least five minutes every day.

I mediated for five minutes a day on everyday in June, and I think I might actually be benefiting from it. Or at least doing it somewhat correctly. I’ve been able to clear my mind of all thoughts on a fairly regular basis, though doing so seems entirely unintentional on my part. It just happened one day, and it’s happening fairly regularly now. I sit down, begin breathing, and suddenly the ten minutes (my new time length) is done, almost as if it hasn’t happened.

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do next, but this ten minute start to the day feels good, so I’ll just keep doing it and see what happens.

18. Agree to try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn’t normally consider palatable.

In June I tired a spinach lasagna, which was not unpalatable.  

19. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2012.

The race is planned for the fall. 

20. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Two days late.

Resolution update: May 2012

I am six days late in posting my mostly lack of progress in terms of my yearly goals.  

On a positive note, I still have more than half of the year to complete these goals. 

On a less than positive note, I have been a pathetic disappointment thus far.

1. Don’t die.

Done.

2. Lose ten pounds.

Since my wife went on doctor-ordered bed rest three weeks ago, our friends have been sending over food on a fairly regular basis, and I couldn’t be more thankful.

However, the food that they send over tends to be the kinds of dishes that are easy to transport and reheat. Lasagna. Casseroles. Pizza. Pot roast. Spaghetti and meatballs. All delicious but also heavy on calories. Add to this a decreased workout schedule because of my wife’s constant position on the couch and I now find myself twenty pounds over my goal weight.

The birth of my son last week is not helping. Less time at the gym. More delicious meals from friends.

I’m going to be very hungry during the second half of 2012.

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a day.  Also complete at least two two-minute planks five days per week.

Done.  

4. Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

My broken flute remains in my car. I drove by the repair shop this morning, but I was driving my wife’s car, so I didn’t have the flute with me.

I mention this in a veiled attempt to imply progress.   

5. Complete my fifth novel before the Ides of March the birth of my next child.

Not complete. I’m quite disappointed with myself.

6. Complete my sixth novel.

Though I am not currently working on my sixth novel, I have about 12,000 words already written for one of them, and several thousand words written for two more. Plus about 3,000 words of a memoir.

Perhaps this is why I am failing so miserably with the previous goal.

7. Sell one children’s book to a publisher.

No progress in the month of May. All writing energy has been directed at finishing my novel.

8. Complete the book proposal for my non-fiction, photographic  collaborative project.

This project will be tackled during the summer.

9. Complete three chapters of my memoir.

This project, which will be part of an overall proposal, will be completed this summer.

10. Complete at least twelve blog posts on my brother and sister blog.

My sister posted for the first time this year, and I have since responded. Two down, ten to go. She promises another post this week.

It should also be noted that Kelli is writing these posts on her phone, since the fifteen year old IMB laptop that she has been using is no longer functioning. She plans to visit this month to see the new baby, and I will give her one of my old laptops, which will probably seem impossibly futuristic to her. More importantly, it will help her to produce work faster.

11. Become certified to teach high school English by completing two required classes.

Elysha continues work on this project. I believe that she has one class ready for the fall and is still in search of the other.

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a newspaper.

I published a piece in Beyond the Margins in April, which is not exactly a newspaper but is a great place (and maybe even a better place) for an author to publish.

I still have two pieces currently in the pipeline with hopes of both finding their way into print soon.

13. Attend at least five Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

My plan for attending my third StorySlam of the year in April were quashed when our then-unborn son decided to create problems with my wife’s placenta, necessitating fulltime bed rest.

My third Moth appearance will now take place at the GrandSLAM championship on July 17 at the Highline Ballroom in Manhattan. The theme of the night is “Fall from Grace.” If you would like to attend the show, let me know and I can alert you as to when tickets are available.      

14. Complete the necessary revisions of our rock opera (The Clowns) so that it can be staged as a full production in 2013.

My partner and I plan on finalizing the script this summer. The director of the playhouse has recently expressed excitement over the project and a desire to assist in the revision, which sounds great to me.

15. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Incremental progress has been made on this front in May.

16. Give yoga an honest try.

It does not appear that yoga classes will be happening at my school after all. I need to find another introductory class to attend. Anyone? 

17. Meditate for at least five minutes every day.

I mediated for five minutes a day for approximately 25 of the 31 days of May. I haven’t realized any benefits from this time spent yet, but I will continue trying.     

18. Agree to try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn’t normally consider palatable.

In May, I tried honeydew for the first time and found it palatable but boring.

19. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2012.

The race is planned for the fall. 

20. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Six days late, but my newborn son is seven days old, so I’m using him as an excuse.

Resolution update: April 2012

1. Don’t die. Another month of avoiding death complete.

2. Lose ten pounds.

Things were looking so good until I attended back-to-back literary festivals over the last two weekends and ate a thousand cheeseburgers.

I’m about 15 pounds away from my goal now and annoyed.

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a day.  Also complete at least two two-minute planks five days per week.

Done.

4. Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

Last month my flute broke. This month I moved my flute from the house to the car in an effort to have it repaired. So that’s technically progress in terms of getting it fixed. Right?

5. Complete my fifth novel before the Ides of March the birth of my next child.

Not complete and looking more and more like I will miss this readjusted deadline as well. I may be finishing the novel while rocking a newborn, which does not sound appealing.

6. Complete my sixth novel.

Though I am not currently working on my sixth novel yet, I have about 12,000 words already written for one of them, and several thousand words written for two more. Plus about 3,000 words of a memoir.

Perhaps this is why I am failing so miserably with the previous goal.

7. Sell one children’s book to a publisher.

I did not work much on this goal in April, focusing all my effort on my adult novel. But I did come up with two new picture book ideas, so when I finally get back to this project, I will have more options, and therefore more opportunities, to publish.

8. Complete the book proposal for my non-fiction, photographic  collaborative project.

This project will be tackled during the summer.

9. Complete three chapters of my memoir.

I did not write much this month, but I had a long discussion with my agent via email on the topic. Unaware that I was working on a memoir or that people at my publisher had asked me if I ever considered writing one, Taryn brought up the subject after learning about all of my recent success at The Moth. After much discussion, it was decided that I will write a book proposal for this project over the summer, which will require the three chapters that my goal specifies.

10. Complete at least twelve blog posts on my brother and sister blog.

More promises from my sister, but no posts. I’ve realized that when you reply heavily upon another person to complete a goal, things are much more difficult. Maybe she’ll read this and feel guilty.

11. Become certified to teach high school English by completing two required classes.

Still no luck in finding these classes. I made two phone calls in April to colleges that I have previously attended, and neither person called me back.

This is getting annoying.

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a newspaper.

I published a piece in Beyond the Margins in April, which is not exactly a newspaper but is a great place (and maybe even a better place) for an author to publish.

I still have two pieces currently in the pipeline with hopes of both finding their way into print soon.

13. Attend at least five Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

On April 19th I attended my second StorySlam of 2012 at Housing Works in Manhattan. I placed second, scoring very well but losing to former StorySlam champion Diana Spechler, who told a story that was simply unforgettable.

Ironically, both Diana and I already had earned spots in the next GrandSlam Championship, which is to take place sometime over the summer. We were both at Housing Works that night because we love to take the stage and tell stories. But in winning, we only manage to push back the GrandSlam, since ten StorySlam winners are needed to compete in the next championship.

But I can’t help myself. I love the Moth and love to take that stage.

I will be attending my third StorySlam of 2012 in Brooklyn next Monday. The topic is MOTHERS.

14. Complete the necessary revisions of our rock opera (The Clowns) so that it can be staged as a full production in 2013.

With a theater committed to producing The Clowns next year, this remainder of 2012 will be spent getting the script into shape. My co-writer actually sent a rather long email last night that I have yet to read, but I am fairly certain that it is a reminder to get off my ass at some point and begin writing.

Just as soon as the novel is finished, of course…

15. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Incremental progress has been made on this front in April.

16. Give yoga an honest try.

I signed up for yoga classes being taught after school by a colleague who also happens to be a yoga instructor, but it would appear that these classes are not going to happen. I may have to find another means of completing this goal.

17. Meditate for at least five minutes every day.

I mediated for five minutes a day for 20 of the 30 days of April. I am putting in the time, attempting to clear my mind and trying my very best, but so far, I do not feel like I have received much in return. But I remain undeterred.

18. Agree to try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn’t normally consider palatable.

In April, I tried oyster stew and found it mildly palatable.

19. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2012.

The race is planned for the fall.

20. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Three days late but done.

Resolution update: March 2012

A mixed bag this month. Outstanding progress on some fronts and pathetic results on others. Not sure how to feel about it.

1. Don’t die.

Unless I am currently starring in a sequel to The Sixth Sense, I am still holding strong.

2. Lose ten pounds.

I lost two-tenths of a pound in March. Not quite what I was hoping, but at least the needle is moving in the right direction.

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a day.  Also complete at least two two-minute planks five days per week.

Done. I’ve started doubling up on my sets as well, doing one set in the morning and one set in the evening on occasion.

4. Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

I did not play the flute in March, but that is because last month’s accidental  drop to the floor broke the damn thing, and now it must be repaired.

But at least I have an excuse this time for not playing all month.

5. Complete my fifth novel before the Ides of March the birth of my next child.

The deadline has officially been missed. I did, however, send a partial manuscript to my agent and await her response. I have reset the goal for completion to June 1, the date of my wife’s scheduled c-section.

6. Complete my sixth novel.

Though I am not currently working on my sixth novel yet, I have about 12,000 words already written.

7. Sell one children’s book to a publisher.

My writing group convinced me that my manuscript still needs work, and I grudgingly agreed. Work continues on three separate manuscripts. It’s like a race to see who gets finished first.

8. Complete the book proposal for my non-fiction, photographic  collaborative project.

This project will be tackled during the summer.

9. Complete three chapters of my memoir.

This project continues to take a backseat until the novel is finished, but I have added a subtitle to the main title that I came up with last month. Also, I was asked by several people at my publisher (publicists, marketing folk, salespeople, etc.) if I have ever considered writing a memoir, so perhaps this idea isn’t as ludicrous an idea as I first thought.

10. Complete at least twelve blog posts on my brother and sister blog.

My sister promised me posts on three separate occasions in March but did not follow through on any of them. I will continue to pester and plead. Last month I added guilt to my repertoire, and while it failed to achieve results, repeated use of it may prove effective.

11. Become certified to teach high school English by completing two required classes.

Elysha continues to search for a college that is offering the two courses that I need to complete in order to become certified. I may be looking to complete these classes online.

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a newspaper.

I have two pieces currently in the pipeline with hopes of both finding their way into print.

13. Attend at least five Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

On March 7th I attended my first StorySlam of 2012 in Brooklyn and was fortunate enough to win. Just having the chance to take the stage was extremely lucky considering there were 32 names in the hat and only 10 are drawn. Winning means I will have the chance to compete in the next GrandSlam championship, which will be held sometime this summer.

In two weeks, I will be attending another StorySlam in Manhattan with hopes of taking the stage and telling a story on the topic of ARMOR.

I’m excited about the story I have to tell. I wish my mother was still alive to hear it.

14. Complete the necessary revisions of our rock opera (The Clowns) so that it can be staged as a full production in the fall.

Great news! A local playhouse has committed to workshopping and producing The Clowns. I couldn’t be more thrilled.

The bad news, at least in terms of my goal, is that we will have to wait until the spring of 2013 for this to happen. Considering the amount of work that must be done on the script first, we are more than willing to wait. As a result, we will no longer be looking for a production date for the fall.

Goal completed? I’m not sure. Getting a playhouse to commit to a production is not an easy feat, but the production will not take place within my targeted time frame.

What do you think?

15. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Incremental progress has been made on this front in March.

16. Give yoga an honest try.

I have signed up for yoga classes being taught after school by a colleague who also happens to be a yoga instructor. I still await the first class.

17. Meditate for at least five minutes every day.

I have mediated for five minutes a day for 25 of the 31 days of March. I have yet to be able to truly clear my mind, but I will continue to try. I understand that this is a learning process and will continue to make an honest and sincere attempt.

18. Agree to try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn’t normally consider palatable.

In March, I tried French onion soup for the first time and liked (not loved) it.

19. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2012.

My failure to complete my manuscript by March 15 means that I will have to schedule the race for the fall.

20. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done!

Resolution update: February 2012

In an effort to hold myself accountable to my yearly goals, I post the monthly progress made at the end of each month. 

Here are the results for February.  Still not impressive.

1. Don’t die.

Still good.

2. Lose ten pounds.

As of this morning, I am back to even after my January swoon. Ten pounds to go.

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a day.  Also complete at least two two-minute planks five days per week.

Done. Actually skipped a couple of my days off by mistake.  

4. Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

I picked up my flute once in the month of February but only because it was inadvertently knocked off the shelf. I never actually produced a flute-like sound. 

5. Complete my fifth novel before the Ides of March.

Progress continues, though the deadline is looking less certain.

6. Complete my sixth novel.

Though I am not currently working on my sixth novel, I have about 12,000 words already written.

7. Sell one children’s book to a publisher.

I meet with my writing group on Monday. Barring any major concerns on their part, I will be resubmitting the first of these children’s books to my agent. 

8. Complete the book proposal for my non-fiction, photographic  collaborative project.

This project will be tackled during the summer.

9. Complete three chapters of my memoir.

This project continues to take a backseat until the novel is finished, but I came up with a title that my wife likes a lot.

10. Complete at least twelve blog posts on my brother and sister blog.

Still no posts in February. I’m not entirely sure that my sister’s computer is fully functional (she has dodged my last two inquiries), but in all likelihood it is working fine now. My sister tends to write in spurts, so the goal of twelve posts is certainly doable, but a regular posting schedule is much better for any blog. I will continue to hassle her this month.

Our brother-sister blog actually led (at least in part) to my unexpected reunion with my previously presumed-dead brother, so writing it has contributed far more to my life than I ever expected.  

11. Become certified to teach high school English by completing two required classes.

Elysha continues to search for a college that is offering the two courses that I need to complete in order to become certified.

Just finding classes that meet the requirements has been a challenge. 

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a newspaper.

I submitted one piece to my editor in February and have a list of about a dozen other potential ideas that I will hope to write as part of the promotion for my new book.

13. Attend at least five Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I will be attending my first Moth event next week in Brooklyn. The theme is Theft. Regrettably, I have many stories from which to choose.

14. Complete the necessary revisions of our rock opera (The Clowns) so that it can be staged as a full production in the fall.

My partner continues to work on securing a commitment from a local playhouse (he sent a terse text today, in fact), and once we have a deadline and my novel is complete, work on this project will re-commence. 

15. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Incremental progress has been made on this front in February. 

16. Give yoga an honest try.

I have signed up for yoga classes being taught after school by a colleague who also happens to be a yoga instructor. I await the first class.  

17. Meditate for at least five minutes every day.

I have mediated for five minutes a day for the last eight days, or more accurately, I have tried to meditate. I have yet to be able to truly clear my mind. I have mediated with and without the aid of music, and neither method has produced meaningful results. I have been told that this will take time. 

18. Agree to try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn’t normally consider palatable.

In February, I tried (and liked) rice with lentils.

19. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2012.

No date for the next race has been set, but I would like to target early May if possible. If this is the case, I must set the date soon. 

20. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

I am two days late posting. I blame the launch of my new book in the UK and Australia. It has made for a very busy 48 hours.

Resolution update: January 2012

In an effort to hold myself accountable to my yearly goals, I post the monthly progress made at the end of each month.  

Here are the results for January.  They are not impressive. 

1. Don’t die.

So far, so good.

2. Lose ten pounds.

I’m off to a great start in 2012.  In the month of January, I managed to add three pounds.  Now I have to lose thirteen pounds. 

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a day.  Also complete at least two two-minute planks five days per week.

Done. The decision to reduce this goal from seven days a week to five has made a big difference.  Those two rest days make the workout days much more palatable, and there is considerably less exercising taking place after midnight. 

4. Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

I failed to accomplish this goal in 2011 and little has changed in 2012.

5. Complete my fifth novel before the Ides of March.

Progress continues. The deadline is still well within reach. 

6. Complete my sixth novel.

Though I am not currently working on my sixth novel, I have about 12,000 words written already during a period of uncertainty over the summer.  

So that’s a start.

7. Sell one children’s book to a publisher.

I have three children’s books in various stages of revision.  I met with my writing group last week and received some solid feedback.  My focus remains on my adult novel at the moment, however, so this goal will have to wait a bit.

8. Complete the book proposal for my non-fiction, photographic  collaborative project.

This project will be tackled during the summer. 

9. Complete three chapters of my memoir.

This project is taking a backseat to my novel. 

10. Complete at least twelve blog posts on my brother and sister blog.

Computer problems on my sister’s end prevented anything from being posted in January.  Hopefully these problems will be rectified in February. 

11. Become certified to teach high school English by completing two required classes.

Elysha is currently working on finding a college that is offering the two courses that I need to complete in order to become certified. 

Oddly enough, completion of the courses seems to be the least of my problems.  The challenge appears to be in finding a school where they are being offered at a time when I can attend.

This has been frustrating to say the least. 

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a newspaper.

Nothing done on this goal as of yet, but it is likely that I will be publishing pieces as part of the promotion for my new book.  I don’t expect the completion of this goal to be a problem. 

13. Attend at least five Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I told a story earlier this week at a Story Collider event at the 92nd Street Y in Tribeca.  The Story Collider is a live story telling organization in New York City that focuses on stories with a connection to science.  Unlike The Moth, it is a non-competitive event, but Moth regulars have also told stories for The Story Collider, and Moth superstar Erin Barker is a Story Collider producer. 

I don’t think I will count this event toward my goal of five Moth events in 2012 unless I appear to be coming up short at the end of the year.

The next Moth StorySLAM that I plan to attend takes place on Monday, March 5th in Brooklyn.    

14. Complete the necessary revisions of our rock opera (The Clowns) so that it can be staged as a full production in the fall.

My partner continues to work on securing a commitment from a local playhouse, and once we have a deadline and my novel is complete, work on this progress will commence.  

15. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Incremental progress has been made on this front in January.  

16. Give yoga an honest try.

I have signed up for yoga classes being taught after school by a colleague who also happens to be a yoga instructor. I await the first class.   

17. Meditate for at least five minutes every day.

I have done a great deal of reading on this subject and feel like I probably know enough to at least begin the process.  I plan on starting my meditating on my birthday (February 15).

18. Agree to try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn’t normally consider palatable.

On New Year’s Even, I tasted and liked the cauliflower potatoes and butternut squash risotto served at our friend’s wedding.

I’m not sure if I ate these foods before or after midnight, but it counts for January. 

19. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2012.

No date for the next race has been set, but I would like to target early May if possible/ 

20. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

I am four days late posting, but a series of events caused me to take a two day hiatus from my blog.  I will explain the reasons in a subsequent post, but suffice it to say the excuses are reasonable.

Resolutions that didn’t make the list in 2012

In deciding upon this year’s New Year’s resolution, several were discarded for a variety of reasons.  Among them were the following:

Lower my total cholesterol to under 200.

My current total cholesterol is 203, which is 3 points higher than the desirable level.  My LDL (the bad cholesterol) is 113, which places me in the “near ideal” range, and my HDL (the good cholesterol) is 73, which is outstanding.  Overall I lowered my total cholesterol by about 12 points in 2011 and would like to bring my total cholesterol and LDL levels into the ideal range in 2012.

I did not make this a New Year’s resolution, however, because I have no simple way to measure my progress.  I will have another physical with my doctor at the end of 2012, at which time my cholesterol will be measured again, but I will be flying blind during the twelve months between physicals, thus making it impossible to track my progress. 

I intend on lowering my cholesterol in 2012, but it did not qualify as a formal resolution.

Write and perform a 5-10 minute standup comedy set in 2012.

I would like to attempt standup comedy someday, but with the amount of writing already on the docket in 2012 (too much in my wife’s estimation, especially with the arrival of Baby #2 in June), in addition to the storytelling that I intend on doing via The Moth and other unexpected opportunities, I thought that this goal would only hinder me from completing others.

Perhaps 2013 will be the year of comedy.

Launch a proposed business venture with a close friend.

A friend and I have a possible business idea on the drawing board that we hope to launch in 2012, but there is great uncertainty in terms of the viability of the business, so it was not a resolution to which I was willing to formally commit in 2012.  I suspect that if the business proves to be viable, it will launch this year, but it’s equally likely that we will deem the opportunity not worth our effort and time. 

Read a specific number of books in 2012.

Several people suggested this resolution to me.  Two years ago I established the goal of reading a dozen books published within the calendar year (and achieved the goal fairly easily), but that goal was set in order to force me to read more current material.

My attitude towards overall reading has always remained the same:

Read as often as possible in 2012.  The number of books doesn’t matter if I am reading as much as I can.  Therefore no resolution is needed.

Spend X amount of time with Clara and Baby #2.

Several people suggested resolutions pertaining to time spent with Clara or equity of time and attention in terms of the coming baby.  My attitude towards my daughter (and my future child) is similar to my attitude in regards to reading:

Spend as much time as possible with my daughter, and starting in June, with both children. Setting a goal would imply that I am failing to spend enough quality time with Clara already, and this simply is not the case.

Therefore no resolution is required. 

In terms of resolutions from the previous year, the following were eliminated from the list in 2012:

Drink at least four glasses of water per day.

I accomplished this goal in 2011, and while I will likely continue to drink more water than in previous years as a result of this resolution, the medical benefits of drinking four (or in some cases, eight)  glasses of water were proven to be nonexistent.

Naturally, that research was not released until after I had begun filling up on water every day.    

Make one mortgage payment from poker profits.

With the amount of writing that I expect to do in 2012, combined with the arrival of Baby #2, I do not anticipate having the time required to attempt this resolution again.

One caveat:  Online gambling, including poker, was legalized in the United States at the end of 2011. If this opens the door to more legitimate online poker websites with cleaner, faster interfaces and more trustworthy business models, I may be able to take on this goal once again.  

Replace the twelve ancient windows on the first and second floor of the house with more energy efficient ones.

I failed to achieve this goal in 2011, and while I would still like to see this work done, Elysha and I may move in a year or two, making the investment significantly less important. 

Elysha will also be staying home from work for the majority of 2012, which will undoubtedly make money tight.  This is therefore no longer the priority that it once was.   

New Year’s Resolutions 2012

The following are my New Year’s resolutions for 2012.  I reserve the right, as always, to add or revise this list for one week following posting. Suggestions are still welcome.

1. Don’t die.

This was suggested to me by a reader, and I can’t believe I didn’t think of it myself.

It’s my most important resolution.

2. Lose ten pounds.

Losing ten pounds will bring me down to 170 pounds, which is well under my high school track and field weight. But my doctor informs me that my ideal weight is 170 pounds.

I think she’s crazy.

Nevertheless, I agreed to set a goal of 175 pounds in 2012.

3. Do at least 100 push-ups and 100 sit-ups five days a day.  Also complete at least two two-minute planks five days per week.

This goal is similar to one I successfully accomplished in 2011.  Instead of completing these exercises daily, I’ve built in two recovery days this year and added the plank, an exercise that I once did frequently when I worked with a trainer.   

4. Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

This is a goal that I failed to complete in 2011.

5. Complete my fifth novel before the Ides of March.

My fifth novel, THE PERFECT COMEBACK OF CAROLINE JACOBS, is almost half finished.  I’ve given myself 75 days to complete it.

6. Complete my sixth novel. 

Relying heavily on my summer vacation, I intend on completing my sixth novel by the end of 2012.

7. Sell one children’s book to a publisher. 

I have three children’s books in various stages of revision.  My goal is to sell at least one of them to a publisher in 2012.

8. Complete the book proposal for my non-fiction, photographic  collaborative project.

Completion of this goal will require coordination between me and my partner, which did not happen in 2011.

9. Complete three chapters of my memoir.

According to my outline, my memoir will likely be about twelve chapters long.  My goal is to complete one-fourth of the memoir in 2012.

10. Complete at least twelve blog posts on my brother and sister blog.

While prodding is still required, my sister has become fairly reliable in terms of writing for this blog.  One entry per month is a reasonable goal, though ideally I would to post more often than this.  

11. Become certified to teach high school English by completing two required classes. 

With the certification test passed, I need only to complete two classes in order to become certified to teach English in grades 6-12.  While I am not planning on moving away from the elementary classroom, I like to keep my options open.  I will begin my fourteenth year of teaching elementary school in 2012, and there may come a point when I desire a change.  I want to be prepared for that moment.

12. Publish at least one Op-Ed in a newspaper.

My hope is that I will have more opportunities to accomplish this goal with the publication of my next novel in August or September of this year.

13. Attend at least five Moth events with the intention of telling a story.

I would attend every Moth event if it wasn’t so difficult to drive into the city on a weeknight.  Five is a reasonable number, though there is no guarantee that I will be able to tell a story every time.  There are typically about fifteen names in the hat, and ten are randomly selected to tell a story.  But I will give myself at least five chances in 2012.  

14. Complete the necessary revisions of our rock opera (The Clowns) so that it can be staged as a full production in the fall.

Revisions are required in order to prepare the script for what we hope will be a full production in the fall.

15. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

In 2011, we eliminated more than half of our sizable education debt.  In 2012 I would like the remainder of that debt to be eliminated.

16. Give yoga an honest try.

I have been critical for yoga for years but have never actually attempted yoga (a source of consternation for my yoga-loving friends).  I intend on correcting this in 2012 by participating in at least half a dozen yoga classes in order to gain a better understanding of it.

17. Meditate for at least five minutes every day.

This goal was recommended by a handful of readers, so I thought that it was worth investing five minutes a day in order to see if meditation could make a difference in my life.  This will require learning how to meditate, so it may be a month or so before I actually begin meditating.

18. Agree to try at least one new dish per month, even if it contains ingredients that I wouldn’t normally consider palatable.

My wife would like an opportunity to prepare foods for me, and vegetables in particular, in ways that I might find more palatable.  I agreed.

To start off the New Year right, I tasted and liked the cauliflower potatoes and butternut squash risotto that was served at our friend’s wedding on New Year’s Eve, even though I do not like cauliflower and squash in their unadulterated forms.

19. Conduct the ninth No-Longer-Annual A-Mattzing Race in 2012.

If you’re not sure what an A-Mattzing Race is (and are curious), I’ll write a blog post later this week that will describe the event.  I was surprised to discover that I have never written about them before on this blog.

More than three years have passed since the last A-Mattzing Race (the last race took place in September 2008), and while all good things must come to an end, I am not ready to allow this part of my life to come to a close yet.  

20. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

 

Resolution update: 2011 in review

The following is the December update and end-of-year review of my 2011 New Year’s resolutions. I am currently in the process of deciding upon my 2012 goals and will post them later in the day.

Of my twenty-one New Years resolutions established at the beginning of 2011, fifteen were successfully completed. One was partially completed, and five were not.

Of the goals achieved, I am most proud of my 23 pound weight loss (bringing my total weight loss to to 54 pounds over a period of two years), my storytelling success at The Moth, and the staged reading of my rock opera, The Clowns.  I thought that each of these goals would be especially difficult to accomplish in 2011, so their completion was very satisfying to me.

Of the goals I failed to complete in 2011, the failure to complete my fifth novel looms large as I work hard to finish. While there were mitigating factors that interfered with my ability to finish the book (detailed below), it should still be done by now. I have too many other books that I am excited about writing to fail to complete a book in 2011.

I also wish that I had done better with my goal of re-learning the flute. With just an hour each week, I could have ended 2011 playing the flute again at a fairly proficient level. This was a doable goal that I simply failed to take seriously.

The success or failure of each individual resolution is as follows:

1.  Lose 23 pounds, bringing me down to my high school track and field weight.

Done. My weight at my physical on Thursday was 184.2 pounds. It took all year, but mission finally accomplished.

2.  Do at least 50 100 200 push-ups and 50 100 sit-ups a day.

Done. I missed six days of exercise in December due to pneumonia, but other than days missed due to illness throughout the year, I was successful in achieving this goal in 2011. In fact, I raised the initial goal of 50 push-ups and 50 sit-ups to 200 and 100 respectively.

3.  Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

Not completed.  I did not practice in December, and for the year, I practiced for a total of six hours. This goal was far from accomplished.

4.  Find a wine that I can drink every night or so.

Done. Chianti is now my wine of choice.

5.  Complete my fifth novel.

Not completed. This goal was not accomplished for several reasons.

There have been a variety of unexpected demands placed upon me with the publishing of my next novel, and each of these required surprisingly large chunks of my time.

I also switched novels midstream, eventually returning to the original concept after three months of indecision. I wrote enough words in 2011 to constitute at least one novel, but unfortunately those words are spread between three incomplete manuscripts.

6.  Complete and submit one children’s book to my agent.

Done. Revisions of both of my stories continue, and a new story is underway.  I hope to have at least one of these books accepted for publication in 2012, and I plan on attending a children’s literature and publishing conference next April.

I’d like to take my career in children’s literature much more seriously in 2012.

7.  Complete the book proposal for the non-fiction collaborative project that I began last year.

Not completed. My partner and I simply did not connect in 2011. Meetings were scheduled, rescheduled and ultimately cancelled. We are both extremely busy people who live in different states, but I am still disappointed that this project did not get off the ground in 2011.

8.  Complete an outline for my memoir

Done. A more targeted approach to the writing of this memoir will begin in 2012.

9.  Convince my sister to write on http://107federalstreet.blogspot.comat least once a week and do the same myself.

Done. Posts continue to hit the blog on a fairly regular basis.

10.  Drink at least four glasses of water every day.

Done.

11.  Complete at least one of the three classes required for me to teach English on the high school level.

Done. As stated last month, I originally needed to complete three classes in order to receive my certification, but after jumping through some administrative hoops and providing the state with documentation, I only need to complete two classes now. Therefore, resolution accomplished.

I also passed my English certification test with flying colors, scoring 191 out of a possible 200 points despite not studying for the test.

Several people told me that it was foolish to take this test without studying, making this one of my most satisfying achievements in 2011.

Spite makes everything better.

I hope to be certified to teach high school English by the end of 2012.

12.  Try liver.

Done. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either.

13.  Publish an Op-Ed in a national newspaper.

Done. Unexpectedly. In a manner of speaking. In December, I wrote a blog post on suggested holiday gifts for teachers, and that post was picked up by a writer at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and quoted heavily in the paper and on their website, with links back to my post.

I wasn’t planned, but my words managed to find their way into a newspaper after all. I also have a piece currently on submission to the Hartford Courant and await word on the possibility of its publication.

14.  Participate in The Moth as a storyteller, at a live show or on their radio broadcast.

Done. In November, I told a story at my second StorySlam and my third Moth event of the year. I attended a fourth Moth StorySlam last week, but unfortunately my name was not drawn from the hat, so I was unable to tell my story.

Still, three opportunities to tell a story and one victory was an enormous accomplishment for me in 2011 and has led to unexpected opportunities in 2012. The Moth has become an important part of my life, and I hope that it remains so for a long, long time.

15. See our rock opera (The Clowns) performed on stage as a full production or in a dramatic reading format.

Done. Since the reading in October, we have heard from two local theaters that may be interested in a full production of the show, and things look serious for a fall performance.

16.  Organize my basement.

Done. Thanks to the breakdown of my car yesterday, I finished this job.  Items still need to be thrown away, but even the throw-away piles are organized now.

17.  Land at least one paying client for my fledgling life coach or professional best man business.

Done. Working with my client has been a thrill, and I have learned a great deal from the process as well.  Helping someone to achieve his goals demands a great deal of introspection, and this has been beneficial to me as well.

It also appears that I will be taking on my second paying client in 2012.

18. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Partially completed. We eliminated well over half of our education debt in 2011.  While we failed to pay off all of our student loans, we made significant progress.

19. Replace the twelve ancient windows on the first and second floor of the house with more energy efficient ones.

Not completed. The funding for this never became available.

20. Make one mortgage payment from poker profits.

I end the year with 28% of a mortgage payment in earnings, a far cry from my goal. A lack of time to play poker contributed heavily to this failure.

21. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Outsourcing my New Year’s resolutions: Would you like to play a role?

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you probably know that I take my goal setting and New Year’s resolutions very seriously. At the end of every month I post the progress of each of my New Year’s resolutions, and I am tough on myself when I fail to achieve my goals. I’d begun the process of deciding upon my 2012 goals when I came upon a piece in the Wall Street Journal on New Year’s resolutions that suggests that outsourcing your resolutions may improve your ability to achieve them.

Most of us could use help achieving our goals. Who better to tell us how to improve ourselves than someone who knows us well—perhaps better than we know ourselves—and even may be all too happy to offer up some tough love? And if we promise to check in regularly with this person to discuss our progress, we'll probably do a much better job of keeping our resolutions.

"We all have blind spots, but the people we are intimate with can see through them," says David Palmiter, a couples therapist and professor of psychology at Marywood University, in Scranton, Pa. A loved one can encourage us to meet our goals and hold us accountable when we slip, he says.

I’ve always asked a select group of friends to suggest goals for my upcoming year, but after reading this piece, I thought it might be a good idea to open up my goal selection process to anyone who might want to participate.

So if you’d like to suggest a goal for me in 2012, I would love to hear your ideas. Please note that this does not guarantee that I will adopt every suggested goal, but I will seriously consider all that are submitted.

Also note that all goals must be empirically measurable, so a goal like “Be less of a jerk-face” could not be included in my list of resolutions because there is no way for me to determine if the goal was met.

But you’re welcome to tell me to stop being a jerk-face at any time if you’d like.

Not need to wait until the end of the year to make that request.

Resolution update: November 2011

With just one month left to complete my New Year’s resolutions, I have started crossing off those items that are complete.

The following is my progress through November.

1.  Lose 23 pounds, bringing me down to my high school track and field weight.

Eight-tenths of a pound away as of this morning. 

Stupid Thanksgiving.  And the day after Thanksgiving.  And the day after the day after Thanksgiving… 

2.  Do at least 50 100 200 push-ups and 50 100 sit-ups a day.

I did not miss a day in November.

3.  Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

I practiced for a little more than an hour in November.  Again, a significant improvement over the previous nine months, but not even close to my goal.

4.  Find a wine that I can drink every night or so.

Success!  While I don’t adore it, I have found a wine that is moderately palatable.  Chianti is now my win of choice.  

5.  Complete my fifth novel.

Not looking good.  I have a feeling that I’ll be resetting this goal to somewhere around my birthday.

Even after writing four of them, books are hard.     

6.  Complete and submit one children’s book to my agent.

Still done. Revisions of both of my stories continue, and a new story is still underway.  I’m also participating in a children’s literature workshop in December and making plans to attend a children’s literature and publishing conference next April.  

By the end of the year, I should have three children’s books in various states of revision, with at least one back in the hands of an agent.        

7.  Complete the book proposal for the non-fiction collaborative project that I began last year.

Possible but unlikely.  This was a project that was supposed to be completed over the summer, but my partner and I failed to connect.  It will likely reappear on next year’s list of resolutions. 

8.  Complete an outline for my memoir

Done. The writing of the memoir continues. 

9.  Convince my sister to write on http://107federalstreet.blogspot.comat least once a week and do the same myself.

Still done!  Writing continues! 

10.  Drink at least four glasses of water every day.

Done.

11.  Complete at least one of the three classes required for me to teach English on the high school level.

As I stated last month, I originally needed to complete three classes in order to receive my certification, but after jumping through some administrative hoops and providing the state with some documentation, I only need two classes now.  Therefore, resolution accomplished.

I also await the results of my English certification test.  I think I probably passed despite not studying.  If not, I know the one area that I will need to review. 

12.  Try liver.

Done!  It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either. 

13.  Publish an Op-Ed in a national newspaper.

I have submitted a piece to the Hartford Courant and have another in the works.  With a month to go, this is looking unlikely unless I find the write editor. 

14.  Participate in The Moth as a storyteller, at a live show or on their radio broadcast.

On Monday, I told a story at my second StorySlam and my third Moth event of the year.  I plan on attending one more StorySlam on December 26.  With luck, my name will be drawn from the hat and I will have one more chance to perform in 2011.

15. See our rock opera (The Clowns) performed on stage as a full production or in a dramatic reading format.

Done!  Since the reading last month, we have heard from two local theaters that may be interested in a full production of the show. 

16.  Organize my basement.

Almost done.  I have confidence that work will be completed by the end of the year. 

17.  Land at least one paying client for my fledgling life coach or professional best man business.

Done!

18. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

We have eliminated half of our education debt thus far.  While it is unlikely that all education debt will be eliminated by the end of the year, we have made significant progress in this area. 

19. Replace the twelve ancient windows on the first and second floor of the house with more energy efficient ones.

Still waiting on the funding.

20. Make one mortgage payment from poker profits.

I played quite a bit of poker in November but broke even for the month.  I remain stuck on a little less than 25% of a mortgage payment so far.

21. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

What do Hannibal Lecter and I have in common?

It looks like I may have found a wine that I like.

A little at least.

If so, it means another resolution is knocked off my list

It’s chianti. 

I’ve had two glasses so far. I liked the first and thought the second was palatable. 

I know nothing about chianti.  It is dry? Sweet? Cheap?

I don’t know.  

The only thing I know about chianti is that Hannibal Lecter likes to drink it with fava beans and census takers. 

Which is extra creepy considering the image my editor sent me this week:

001

Resolution update: October 2011

With just two more months to complete my New Year’s resolutions, I have started crossing off those items that are complete. 

The following is my progress through October. 

1.  Lose 23 pounds, bringing me down to my high school track and field weight.

I was two-tenths of a pound away from my goal as of this morning. 

If my gym hadn’t been closed for the last two days, I would’ve probably reached or beaten my goal already.

In an effort to avoid such problems in the future, I renewed my Bally’s membership this morning.  $64 for a year in order to have access to two different gyms within 10 minutes of my home.  This will be especially helpful in January and February when the gyms fill up with people who join for as month or two in hopes of fulfilling their own New Year’s resolutions before fading into the sunset by March. 

Bally’s is not the cleanest or most well equipped gym in the area, but it has a pool, and more importantly, it has power right now.  My gym could be without electricity for another week.   

For about $5 a month, how could I go wrong?

Stupid October snowstorm.   

2.  Do at least 50 100 200 push-ups and 50 100 sit-ups a day.

I did not miss a day in October.

3.  Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

I practiced a total of an hour for the month of October, which is an enormous improvement over previous months but still not near my goal. 

4.  Find a wine that I can drink every night or so.

Did not drink any wine in October.   

5.  Complete my fifth novel.

I have returned to my half-finished novel after deciding (with the help of my agent) that my new idea was not working. 

It will eventually work, and I remain excited about it, but I was forcing things. The book hasn’t had the time to ferment in my mind. 

The good news is that I am suddenly much closer to finishing my fifth book.  Halfway there!  And my wife and agent like it a lot.  A positive sign.    

The bad news is that I lost a month trying out my new idea.

November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), so perhaps like many hopeful novelists, I will complete my book before December.  

6.  Complete and submit one children’s book to my agent.

Still done. Revisions of both of my stories continue, and a new story underway, based upon a dream I had earlier in the month. 

By the end of the year, I should have three children’s books in various states of revision, with at least one back in the hands of an agent.         

7.  Complete the book proposal for the non-fiction collaborative project that I began last year.

My photography partner and I have ironed out our differences and are ready to move forward.  Unfortunately I am devoting most of my writing time to the new book.  But I still hope to have a proposal written before the end of the year.  Still possible but less likely.     

8.  Complete an outline for my memoir

Done. The writing of the memoir continues.  

9.  Convince my sister to write on http://107federalstreet.blogspot.comat least once a week and do the same myself.

Done!  My sister wrote four entries in the month of October and seems quite enthusiastic about the project.  In fact, she’s writing faster than I can respond. 

I couldn’t be more pleased.  

10.  Drink at least four glasses of water every day.

Done.

11.  Complete at least one of the three classes required for me to teach English on the high school level.

As I stated last month, I originally needed to complete three classes in order to receive my certification, but after jumping through some administrative hoops and providing the state with some documentation, I only need two classes now.  Therefore, resolution accomplished.

I also take my English certification test in two weeks.  I have opted not to study for this test, hoping that I remember enough from college to earn a passing grade. 

My friends think I’m crazy to attempt this difficult test without studying, but I took the LSAT a few years ago without any preparation and scored in the 89th percentile.

Maybe I’ll get lucky again.

12.  Try liver.

Nope.  But damn it, it will be done. 

13.  Publish an Op-Ed in a national newspaper.

I am submitting the piece that I have written for The Millions, an online magazine offering coverage on books, arts, and culture, this week. 

14.  Participate in The Moth as a storyteller, at a live show or on their radio broadcast.

Done.  I placed third in the Moth’s GrandSlam last month.  I also plan on participating in one or two more StorySLAMS before the end of the year. 

15. See our rock opera (The Clowns) performed on stage as a full production or in a dramatic reading format.

Our reading is scheduled for November 5 and 6.  You can read all about it and find out how to purchase tickets on the theater’s website by clicking here.

16.  Organize my basement.

Progress continues.  I am actually approaching the finish line.  I’ll likely be wrapping up work this week (we now have the week off due to massive power outages in the area) or during December break.

17.  Land at least one paying client for my fledgling life coach or professional best man business.

Done!

18. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

We paid off one of our four student loans in October, and it looks as if we will have one or two more paid off before the end of the year. 

19. Replace the twelve ancient windows on the first and second floor of the house with more energy efficient ones.

Still waiting on the funding.

20. Make one mortgage payment from poker profits.

No poker in October (but a live game tonight!).  I remain stuck on a little less than 25% of a mortgage payment so far.

21. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: September 2011

1.  Lose 23 pounds, bringing me down to my high school track and field weight.

I am still down exactly 21 pounds as of this morning.  Three days spent at a YMCA camp followed by the Patriots home opener tailgating bonanza killed me.  

2.  Do at least 50 100 200 push-ups and 50 100 sit-ups a day.

I did not miss a day in September.

3.  Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

I practiced for 15 minutes this week, the first bit of practice all year.  Maybe it’s the start of something great… 

4.  Find a wine that I can drink every night or so.

Did not drink any wine in September.    

5.  Complete my fifth novel.

I am three chapters into the new book.  I had to rewrite the first two chapters about ten times until I got them right, and even now they still might not be right.  My half-finished novel occasionally calls to me, urging me to take the path of least resistance and finish it. 

I refuse. This new book will be better. 

I have a lot of work ahead of me.

6.  Complete and submit one children’s book to my agent.

Still done. Revisions of the story continue, and a new story has been written. I meet with my critique group next week to hear first impressions.      

7.  Complete the book proposal for the non-fiction collaborative project that I began last year.

My photography partner and I have ironed out our differences and are ready to move forward.  Unfortunately I am devoting most of my writing time to the new book.  But I still hope to have a proposal written before the end of the year.  Still possible but less likely.      

8.  Complete an outline for my memoir

Done. The writing of the memoir continues.   

9.  Convince my sister to write on http://107federalstreet.blogspot.comat least once a week and do the same myself.

I’m not giving up, but I feel like giving up.  Maybe it was wrong to choose a goal that depended so much upon another person.   

10.  Drink at least four glasses of water every day.

Done.

11.  Complete at least one of the three classes required for me to teach English on the high school level.

I am scheduled to take the high school English certification test in November.

I will need two more classes, plus a passing score on the test, in order to be certified to teach middle and high school English. 

Since I originally needed to complete three classes and now only need two, I feel like this goal is accomplished, since it was only through my persistent efforts with the Department of Education that one of the required classes was eliminated. 

Anyone buying this rationalization?

12.  Try liver.

Nope.

13.  Publish an Op-Ed in a national newspaper.

The piece that I have written for The Millions, an online magazine offering coverage on books, arts, and culture, might be my last chance at completing this goal, though I may still repackage a blog post in the form of an editorial and shop it around.   

14.  Participate in The Moth as a storyteller, at a live show or on their radio broadcast.

Done.  I will completing in the the Moth’s GrandSlam event on October 17.   

15. See our rock opera (The Clowns) performed on stage as a full production or in a dramatic reading format.

Our reading is scheduled for November 5 and 6.  You can read all about it and find out how to purchase tickets on the theater’s website by clicking here.

16.  Organize my basement.

Progress continues, but a full day will still be required to complete the job. December break is my target. 

17.  Land at least one paying client for my fledgling life coach or professional best man business.

Done!  In fact, I met with my client today!  

18. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Still waiting on the funding.

19. Replace the twelve ancient windows on the first and second floor of the house with more energy efficient ones.

Still waiting on the funding.

20. Make one mortgage payment from poker profits.

No poker in September. I remain stuck on a little less than 25% of a mortgage payment so far.

21. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.

Resolution update: August 2011

1.  Lose 23 pounds, bringing me down to my high school track and field weight.

Down 21 pounds as of this morning.  I may be setting a new goal shortly.  

2.  Do at least 50 100 200 push-ups and 50 100 sit-ups a day.

I did not miss a day in August. 

I have also started running for about 30 minutes in the evenings after Clara has gone to bed as well as some barbell work in front of the television. 

Though it is not a part of my New Year’s resolution, my string of three straight months without missing a day at the gym was snapped last week by the hurricane, but not by any lack of effort on my part.  I went in the morning, but they were closed.   

3.  Practice the flute for at least an hour a week.

Failed again.

4.  Find a wine that I can drink every night or so.

Tried six new wines in August.  Elysha surprised me with a night out at a wine bar.  I found one wine that was better than the rest, but I did not find one that I especially liked.   

5.  Complete my fifth novel.

This just got a lot harder.  After approaching the halfway point of my next novel, a new idea lodged itself in my head and would not leave.  I tried to ignore it but could not.  I promised that I would get to it soon, but it refused to bargain.  So I have done the unthinkable: With four months to go in 2011, I have put my manuscript aside and begun a new one.

I have a lot of work ahead of me.

6.  Complete and submit one children’s book to my agent.

Still done.  I will be resubmitting a revised version in September.   

7.  Complete the book proposal for the non-fiction collaborative project that I began last year.

My photographer blew off our August meeting, and I am a quite upset about this turn of events.  I will follow-up with her in September and hopefully get things back on track.    

8.  Complete an outline for my memoir

Done.  The writing of the memoir continues.    

9.  Convince my sister to write on http://107federalstreet.blogspot.comat least once a week and do the same myself.

She agreed to write. She promised to write. And once again she didn’t write.

10.  Drink at least four glasses of water every day.

Done.

11.  Complete at least one of the three classes required for me to teach English on the high school level.

Good news!  I may not be required to complete any coursework.  I have registered for the Praxis II test for English in November (which is reportedly the most difficult of all these certification tests), and if I pass, that may be all I need to do. 

I must now decide whether or not to study for the test or take it cold. 

12.  Try liver.

Nope.  But I found someone who wants to try it with me!

13.  Publish an Op-Ed in a national newspaper.

Nope.  And sadly, I did not win the short story contest. 

I am currently working on an article for The Millions, an online magazine offering coverage on books, arts, and culture. 

I am also submitting a column idea and sample piece to McSweeney’s, a very popular literature and humor website.

I may also repackage a blog post in the form of an editorial and shop it around.    

14.  Participate in The Moth as a storyteller, at a live show or on their radio broadcast.

Done.  As the winner of my StorySlam, I compete in the Moth’s GrandSlam event in October as well.  Details to follow.   

15. See our rock opera (The Clowns) performed on stage as a full production or in a dramatic reading format.

Our dramatic reading is scheduled for November 5 and 6.  You can read all about it on the theater’s website by clicking here.

16.  Organize my basement.

Progress continues, but a full day will probably be required to complete the job.  Perhaps over December break if I can’t get to it sooner.

17.  Land at least one paying client for my fledgling life coach or professional best man business.

Done!   

18. Rid Elysha and myself of all education debt before the end of the year.

Still waiting on the funding.

19. Replace the twelve ancient windows on the first and second floor of the house with more energy efficient ones.

Still waiting on the funding.

20. Make one mortgage payment from poker profits.

No poker in August. I remain stuck on a little less than 25% of a mortgage payment so far.

21. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month.

Done.