Vincent Van Gogh on Doctor Who makes me cry.

You may know that I don't handle mortality well. 

One of the things that hurts my heart most is the idea that when we die, we cannot see tomorrow. We'll never know how this grand story ends, and how far reaching our influence may be.

I weep for people like Abraham Lincoln, Edgar Allen Poe, Johann Sebastian Bach, Emily Dickinson, Gregor Mendel, and all the others who died never knowing how they changed the word. 

Vincent Van Gogh is another person who fits into this category. One of the greatest painters of all time never realized commercial success or critical acclaim when he was alive.

This is why I adore this episode of Doctor Who, when the Doctor and his companion Amy take Vincent Van Gogh to the Musée d’Orsay to see an entire room filled with his paintings.

It brings me close to tears every time I watch it. If only it were real. 

"Baked in a buttery, flaky crust"

While recording a commercial for chicken pot pie at Dysart's Restaurant, this man ran into an especially tricky line of dialogue.

This made me laugh so hard. Hopefully you enjoy a similar chuckle.   

How to Make a Tennis Ball (also it's impossible to make a tennis ball)

A video like this - which is beautifully shot and fascinating - is the kind of thing that further convinces me that the complexity of the world has reached the point wherein a global collapse of basic infrastructure would lead to the extinction of so many things.

Like tennis as we know it. 

Watching this video convinces me that making a tennis ball would be nearly impossible if we had to start from scratch.

Let's hope we never have to start from scratch. 

A Series of Special Guests #9

Last week I was featured on Benjamin Leroy's podcast A Series of Special Guests: Episode #9. Listen to me talk about writing, storytelling, death, productivity, and more.  

Passion Lubes makes for outstanding reading. Don't deny yourself this joy.

Perhaps you're already aware of Passion Lubes, the 55 gallon water-based lubricant currently available on Amazon.com for $1,290.30 (reduced from $2,500).

But if you haven't spent any time reading the reviews of this product, as well as the Questions Answered and the "Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed" section, you don't know what you're missing.

Everything about this product is entertaining as hell. 

Simple. Hilarious. Makes stupid people look stupid. Everything I want in a two minute video.

If you haven't seen this yet, you must watch. 

Anything that ironically or sarcastically simplifies a subject that should already be extremely simple to comprehend makes me happy.

I love it when stupid people are made to feel stupid.

Also, I was thinking that I would start asking my wife if she'd like a cup of tea as my new euphemism for sex, but perhaps that is not such a good idea. 

So much beauty in just two minutes of video. You must see.

Many thanks to my friend, Catherine Burns, for posting this. 

Sadly, my existential terror doesn't allow me to embrace this idea as fully as I'd like, but I wish I could. It's fantastic. 

A threat of violence, some moments of real sweetness, and a serious fear of hoes.

A teacher found this on the floor after class in a middle school:
A relationship contract between 8th graders

The boy signed it,

This update to "Ironic" is a beautiful thing

There's nothing better than a celebrity willing to make fun of herself. If only more of them (and human beings in general) understood this.

Authentic self deprecation is such a courageous and beautiful thing. 

In this spirit is Alanis Morissette's update to "Ironic" on The Late Late Show is one of my favorite things on the Internet in a while.

It helps that I love James Corden, too. 

This hoodie is real. You won't think so, but I promise you. This is a real thing.

The Russian clothing clothing Chukcha launched a Kickstarter campaign last month to support its special hoodies that have pockets in both the front and back. They call this design Together Wear.

When I saw this, I thought it was a joke. A spoof. A parody. The pictures alone make it seem like a farce, and the Kickstarter video sounds like something ripped directly from FunnyorDie.com or The Onion. 

It's not. I've check and re-checked. This hoodie is a real thing. Completely serious. Earnest beyond belief. And it is terrifying.  

Harlem Knight Fight

This is unbelievable. I'm not sure if I love these guys or think they's idiots.

Seasons: Spring 2106

My column in the spring 2016 edition of Seasons is now available online.

I write "Last Word," the humor column on the back page of the magazine. This month I write about the oddity and pain of dance recitals. You can read it online here.

You have to admire a true artisan

Deep, scary, philosophical Star Trek thoughts.

Somehow a discussion about how the transporters work on Star Trek had me in an existential panic.

Granted, this is easier to accomplish with me than most people, but still. This is both fascinating and a little terrifying, even if you're not a Star Trek fan. 

Listen to this.

I have heard few things more enlightening and moving than this. I think everyone should spend 20 minutes listening to this - children especially. Please listen and share with others. 

If you're a podcast listener, this is episode 45 of the podcast Here Be Monsters. 

This made me a little weepy. I'm obviously broken inside.

This history lesson is unlike anything I've ever seen before. YOU MUST WATCH.

I didn't care about Japanese history all that much. I especially didn't care about the history of Japan pre-1900. 

But someone who I trust recommended this video to me, and now I recommend it to you. It's unusual and unique and captured my attention in ways I never imagined it could. It brought history to life, but in a way I have never seen before.  

Give it a minute. If you're not hooked, shake your fist at me. Wish me ill. Leave an insulting comment on my blog. Move on.

I don't think that's going to happen.  

Don't speak to old people like they're children or houseplants, damn it.

I love Flossie Dickey.

I'm sure she wasn't trying to be obstreperous in this interview, but I'm glad she was. The reporter speaks to her like she's a child, and then she and the director speak about her as if she's a houseplant. It's condescending, insulting, and stupid.

I only wish Flossie Dickey would've punched each one of them in the nose.

A washing machine, a trampoline, a brick, and a little bit of joy

Who would've thought that three things could come together and produce such amusement?

Target Practice - Seasons: Winter 2015

My humor column in the 2015 winter edition of Seasons magazine features a moment that few students on the planet have ever been able to experience, at my expense.