Bad ass old man of all time

Samuel Whittemore might just be the toughest old guy in the history of the world.

Born in England in 1694, Whittemore went to North America in 1745 as a captain in the British army, where he fought in King George's War (1744-48) at the age of 50 and the French and Indian War (1754-63) at the age of 64.

Then on April 19, 1775, at the age of 80, he engaged British forces returning from the Battles of Lexington and Concord at the onset of the Revolutionary War.

Whittemore was in his fields when he spotted an approaching British relief brigade under Earl Percy, sent to assist the retreat. Whittemore loaded his musket and ambushed the British from behind a nearby stone wall, killing one soldier. He then drew his dueling pistols and killed a grenadier and mortally wounded a second. By the time Whittemore had fired his third shot, a British detachment reached his position; Whittemore drew his sword and attacked. He was shot in the face, bayoneted thirteen times, and left for dead in a pool of blood. He was found alive, trying to load his musket to fight again. He was taken to Dr. Cotton Tufts of Medford, who perceived no hope for his survival. However, Whittemore lived another 18 years until dying of natural causes at the age of 98.

In 2005, Whittemore was proclaimed the official state hero of Massachusetts. Not bad considering this is a state that produced such wartime heroes as Paul Revere, Israel Putnam, John Hancock, Robert Shaw and John Kennedy.

All great men, but if I were sent to war, I’d choose Samuel Whittemore to stand on my side above them all.

Unfair assumption #10: Americans who follow the machinations of the British royal family are stupid.

Americans who follow the machinations of the British royal family, including their marriages, pregnancies, divorces, affairs, baby bumps, drug scandals, fashion pas and the like are stupid. Harsh, I know. Probably unfair, too.

In all likelihood, there are many people who are both intelligent and intrigued by the British royal family.

Very smart people do very stupid things all the time.

It’s practically my modus operandi.

They left their bookstores behind.

A new study has found that at various times the British have invaded almost 90 percent of the countries around the globe.

The analysis of the histories of the almost 200 countries found only 22 which have never experienced an invasion by the British.

And the Brits seemed so civilized.

As an author, I’ve noticed that even though the British relinquished control over most of their empire, they seem to have left their bookstores behind. When I sold the publication rights for MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGNARY FRIEND to Little Brown UK and agreed to use a pen name for the book, I was under the impression that my pseudonym, Matthew Green, would reside only on the British Isles, where the books were to be published.

But since it’s publication in March of this year, I have heard from readers of the UK edition in Australia, South Africa, Dubai, Turkey, India, Morocco and a number of countries in Europe and especially the Far East.

So much for staying put on the British Isles.  

It’s been both surprising and thrilling to hear from these readers around the world. The idea that a story I made up in my head has spread to the corners of the globe is one I would have never imagined. The book is even being adapted for the stage in South Africa. But when I agreed to the pen name, I had no idea that Matthew Green would be landing in as many books shops in as many places around the world as he has.

Clever of the British to remove their troops and infrastructure from these nations but leave their bookshops behind.

Win the hearts and minds, and what better way than through a book?