I have illogical affection for this.

It took this couple 8 years to say “I love you” to each other. It took my wife slightly less time to say it to me.

From This American Life, the insanity of a couple happily together for eight years having never said “I love you” and never spoken about its absence.

For the record – and I wonder if my wife remembers this – she said “I love you” first, on a couch in my old apartment, while we were kissing, on our second date. And less than 24 hours after our first date.

Granted, we had worked together for two years and been close friends for about a year before we started dating, but still, the second date was a bold move on her part.

The right move, too. I told her that I loved her, too, and we have said it to each other every since since then, for the past twelve years.

Ugly people unite! Sometimes beauty can only be found in numbers.

Starlings aren’t the most beautiful bird in the world. At least not on their own.

But put them in an enormous flock and they become one of the most beautiful and remarkable sights in nature.

Mystery behind this photograph solved, though the solution was fairly obvious.

Yesterday, I wished that I knew the story behind this photograph.

Thanks to a kind reader, today I know. It was a librarian, of course. Those fanatical zealots of books, always looking for a way, however crazy it may seem, to get a story into your hands. 

Honestly, who else could it have been?

Insult advertising is the best

Selling more product is the goal of advertising.

Doing so while making fun of another slightly pretentious company – and a non-competitor at that – is the best.

Someone at Slate magazine has been reading my blog and stealing my brilliant ideas. Seriously. Sort of.

On October 23, 2012, I came out in favor of skipping after skipping down the deserted streets of Brattleboro, Vermont.

“The swinging of the arms, the momentary, almost violent liftoff into the air in the midst of each skip and the inability to do anything but smile throughout the process, make it something we really should do more often.”

My wife even commented on the post:

I’m glad I missed it.

On December 16, 2014, Kevin Zawacki of Slate wrote In Defense of Skipping. In many more words, along with a video clip of Neil Armstrong skipping on the Moon, he essentially makes the same argument.

I could’ve let this go, but then this happened.

On November 13, 2014, I wrote a post about my desire to publish a book with a list of all the politicians who are denying climate change as a means of holding them accountable to history when the polar caps are melted and sea levels have risen 20 feet.

When a politician tells us that he does not believe in climate change or does not accept that climate change is the result of human activity or can’t be certain enough about the science to take action, he or she is either lying or stupid. The science is simply too overwhelmingly in favor of manmade climate change for anyone with half a brain to deny it.

On December 16, 2014 (the same day Zawacki published his piece about skipping), Slate’s Lawrence Krauss published If You Don’t Accept That Climate Change Is Real, You’re Not a Skeptic. You’re a Denier.

But we felt that when someone like Inhofe, who has so clearly denied or ignored the major scientific analyses of human induced climate change and its consequences, was so inappropriately described by a publication like the New York Times, it was necessary for a broad-based group in the scientific community to speak up. The effort to stop effective action to curb climate change has been successful in part because it has focused on public relations rather than content. By confusing skepticism with ideological intransigence, journalists play into the hands of those who plan and implement these large-scale disinformation campaigns.

We are making the same argument.

Two pieces, published on the same day, which essentially reiterate (in substantially more words) arguments that I made one month and two years ago.

Someone at Slate has been reading my blog.

Of course, I don’t really believe this to be the case. Mostly.

More likely, it’s the result of my tendency to be ahead of the curve, a frontrunner, a visionary, a pioneer, and similar synonyms.

Still, quite a coincidence.

Taylor Swift teaches a valuable lesson to all content creators.

If you haven’t seen Taylor Swift’s Christmas video, you should.

It’s a lovely thing, but it’s also an exceptionally valuable lesson for anyone who creates content. Actors. Writers. Artists. Musicians. Designers. Anyone.

Treat the people who make your work possible very, very well.

My agent, Taryn, once told me that although she thinks I’m a talented writer and a great storyteller, one of my greatest attributes is that I treat people with kindness and respect.

Basically, I’m not a jackass.

This may come as a surprise some of my friends, but it’s true. 

I’m polite and respectful to my editors and the professionals at my publishing house. I respond to every email and tweet from my readers. I bend over backwards for bookstores and libraries. I’m accommodating to the organizers of literary festivals and speaking tours.

Taryn said that it’s much easier to sell my books when the people who buy them know that I’m not a jerk. That I am a decent person to work with.

I think this was probably Taryn’s way of warning me not to become a jerk, which can apparently happen after someone sells their first book.

I didn’t understand her concern at the time, but since publishing my first novel in 2009, I’ve had the honor of meeting many, many authors. Most of them are kind, humble, generous souls. The salt of the Earth. The best of the best. Truly some of the finest people who I have ever known.

But there is a very specific segment of authors and unpublished writers who are not nice. They are entitled, arrogant, rude, angry, demanding jerk faces.

They are also almost all men. This may simply be a reflection of my personal experience, but probably not.

I suspect that the same is probably true for musicians and celebrities like Taylor Swift. Most are kind, generous, and polite. Some are probably not.

I was not a Taylor Swift fan prior to watching her Christmas video. Her music was fine, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. I would occasionally play her songs her songs at weddings, but I didn’t have any Taylor Swift songs in my musical rotation. Other than a handful of her hits, I didn’t know any of her work.

After seeing this video, I’m an enormous Taylor Swift fan. I’m not sure if I like her music any more than before, but I like Taylor Swift as a person a whole lot. I’m much more likely to give her music a chance now. More inclined to watch a video on YouTube. 

This was a very smart thing for Taylor Swift to do, but most important, it strikes me as exceptionally genuine. I felt like I was watching a real person doing real things for real fans. I felt like I was seeing the real Taylor Swift. 

Perhaps I’m naive. Maybe the video was a carefully orchestrated, cleverly choreographed production by a team of promoters and marketers, but I don’t think so.

I think that Taylor Swift is probably an exceptionally kind person. Someone who knows how to treat her fans. Someone who values them and understands what they have meant to her career.

Taylor Swift has a new fan today thanks to that video, and she’s reminded me about the importance of treating my substantially fewer fans well. To go above and beyond whenever possible.  To thank them for making it possible to do what I do.

I might not be sending Christmas presents next December, but I’ll be watching for ways to let my readers know how much I appreciate them.

Best Christmas gift ever. Someone strongly hint about this to my kids when they are old enough to understand.

Christmas is over, but how about a one last bit of Christmas cheer? And maybe even a tear or two?

You’re going to love this. Unless it makes you feel like a terribly inadequate son or daughter, which is possible.

Risk it. It’s worth it. 

Seasons Magazine: My latest column on how real men don’t use snow blowers

The winter edition of Seasons magazine is now available for your reading pleasure.

If you don’t subscribe to Seasons, the magazine can also be read online, including my column, “The Last Word,” which can be found on the last page of the magazine.

For the winter edition, I write about how real men don’t use snow blowers and my unique means of clearing my driveway of snow in the winter.

My friends are dullards by comparison.

When I see something like this, it makes me feel bad that my friends and I don’t possess similarly witty repartee.

Why can’t my friends be more like Winston Churchill or George Bernard Shaw? Is that asking too much? 

These 8 minutes of amateur video are better than any show on television.

Thinking about watching another episode of The Big Bang Theory tonight?

Or one of those acronym shows? NCIS? SVU? CSI?

  

Don’t. They’re all kind of stupid, I’m sure.

It’s true. I’m judging television shows that I’ve never actually seen before, but at the very least they’re formulaic. It won’t kill you to miss one.

Or all of them.

Watch this instead. It’s reality television without the douchebags. It’s serious drama. It’s full of suspense, intrigue, and at least two moments of genuine surprise. Shock, even.

There are heroes and villains. Battles and bravery. 

A life and death struggle. And no commercial breaks. 

Seriously badass porcupine

Underdog was an impressive superhero. He spoke in rhyme. He saved Sweet Polly Purebred every week. He was not bothered by collateral damage. He even had a great catchphrase:

There's no need to fear--
Underdog is here!

But when I think of underdogs in the future, I’ll be thinking of a porcupine.

This porcupine. The one that survived an encounter with 19 lions.

Funnier than some big budget comedies

It’s a GE commercial designed to sell light bulbs.

 

Nevertheless, it’s honestly funnier than a lot of movies that I’ve seen.

This short film presents a situation that is both ridiculous and reality. And that scares the hell out of me.

It’s astounding how rapidly the selfie and social media have interlocked to become a ubiquitous, ingrained, and inexplicably accepted aspect of American culture.

Does a film like this awaken people to the lunacy of their social media existences, or are they unable to see themselves for who they have become?

ASPIRATIONAL from Matthew Frost on Vimeo.

Priceless moments at an ATM

Little old ladies on a plane

It’s subtitled.

It stars two women in their late seventies.

It’s about something that thousands of people do everyday.

And yet it’s compelling and sweet and revelatory and brilliant.

You should watch.

We bought an IKEA step stool. Thanks to the directions, we know not to look closely at it.

The rules are simple (at least according to the slip of paper found in the box):

• Don’t place the stepstool’s legs atop a pile of books.
• Don’t place one of the stepstool’s legs atop a pile of books.
• Don’t purchase two stools and use them as large, cumbersome stilts.
• Don’t look closely at the stool with a magnifying glass.
• Don’t dive off the stool headfirst into a wall.

Credit my wife for finding this ridiculous bit of insanity.

The truth is sometimes truly better than fiction. This is just such a case.

Sometimes the letters that Slate’s Dear Prudence receives are better than any fiction I’ve read all week long.

This is an example of just such a letter:

“While cleaning out my late grandfather’s house, my aunt discovered a dildo. She asked me what I thought it was and I could not bring myself to tell her. I vaguely replied maybe it was some kind of a cheap ornament, and quietly put it into the junk pile. Imagine my consternation when I saw it displayed in her house along with some other knick knacks she retrieved from pop’s home. I tried to tell her it doesn’t go well with her decor, pop probably didn’t want us to take all of his junk, etc. But my aunt dismissed my protests and says she wants to keep it. Please give me some excuse I can use to persuade her to throw it away, other than having to explain to my elderly prudish aunt what it really is.”

Most threatening (and perhaps effective) example of signage ever

This is real, despite all my instincts telling me otherwise.

The restaurant is real. It’s existence was never in question. It’s located in Staten Island, and people eat there every day.

But sometimes you stumble across (or in the case are sent) a video that you have to assume is fake. A parody. An intentionally ridiculous fabrication.

Except no. This commercial for Troy restaurant is real. Someone, somewhere in the world produced this video, watched it, and thought, “Yes, this will surely bring the restaurant more customers.”

Who knows? Maybe it worked. But I doubt it.